Allison D.
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 1, 2008
- Messages
- 2,282
TOTAL DITTO. Upon my first reading of this question, my initial answer was "neither", and it seems Miss Mara has hit upon that too.Date: 6/15/2009 4:19:53 PM
Author: Mara
having done the ''nice'' guy thing previously, i would not marry someone who i didnt have very strong feelings for. IMO, unless you have been in THAT relationship, with a guy who treats you great, loves you, adores you, whatever...but that you just cannot quite reciprocate the same feelings for... you don''t really know if that is what you would choose. i felt so guilty that i could not reciprocate his feelings even though i tried...like i was cheating him.
after dating this guys for 3 years, i had the opp to date another nice guy who was very rich, but he just did not do it for me....and my friend said ''but he''s rich''...well SO? money can not make up for everything that is lacking.
if as someone else said the passion was real passion for who the person was and a TRUE heart attachment, and not just simple lust... then i would def take that and try to make our way together. you don''t know that someone will ALWAYS be struggling just because they are when you met them, and i have been quite successful in my own right, so even if he never was a breadwinner, i could take care of us.![]()
if i couldn''t do the above, i''d be alone.![]()
eta: 34 married for 5 years, together for 9.
I dated the nice guy who would have been the smart ''settle'' choice and felt unfulfilled because I didn''t return his feelings, so I know I couldn''t choose that. I don''t think I could do the ''struggle'' thing long-term with the passion guy either, because saving and working toward a common goal is important to me. It''s hard to maintain passion when you''re struggling to meet basic needs. If those were the only two options, I''d choose to stay single.
I don''t need rich; I just needed someone who was willing to be a contributing partner and shared the same life goals. When I found HIM, I married him (and oddly enough, his name is Rich! LOL).
Married for the first time at 38; married for 5, together for 7 and still head over heels for him.