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Need some help with a small budget ;(

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
6
I have decided to buy my girlfriend a diamond ring, not for engagement purposes, a promise ring? I explained to her how an engagement ring would be hard to wear daily and I would love to have a humble wedding ring thats industrial looking (hammered?). That is why a promise ring can 1) show my commitment and give a sense of security 2) can wear daily 3) we are both at a very young age, starting our careers (dated for a few years), and it will be years until we get married. Most importantly, there will great sense of pride and satisfaction looking back in the future in this ring being maybe the most valuable to both of us.



My budget was 4k USD in the beginning, she chose the setting - 18k White Gold Vatche 1514 Felicity Pave Diamond Engagement Ring - from WF that cost 1.4k, leaving 2.6k for the diamond.


I found a 0.625ct G color VS2 WF ACA H&A the suits this criteria which the consultant also recommended from a dozen of other alternatives:
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3917006.htm


Few days later, her relatives got to know the happy news, but many said that there is no point of buying a small carat diamond and should aim for around 1 carat (go for 0.9ish at least)...

My gf saw the prices of 1 carat diamond are going for and said its perfectly fine if its small, and told me not to listen to her relatives. That still got me very size sensitive, and have been looking for larger diamonds every since within the price but dont seem to be able to find anything. I am very anxious and worried that my original thought of being a romantic thing would now turn into laughters because its just 0.625ct and not a full 1ct. My gf and I are both Chinese, and yes, her relatives look at size and color more than anything else like cut or clarity.



In my final attempt, I have found a few other diamonds that would cost a few hundred more such as:
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4175843.htm
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4089762.htm
Is it worth it to choose the above diamond for the increase in price point compare to the original 0.625ct? Is 0.625ct and 0.71-0.73ct a big difference?



With that in mind, is it better to just downgrade and go for non-super ideal cut such as JA or bluenile because you get can a bigger diamond with your buck?
And do the super ideal cut look like the pictures online (contrast of arrows) in real life when it is only 0.625ct? or do I have to go a bigger size to see clearly the arrows?

In a few posts, CIB keeps poping up and therefore checked a few out because the poster said that the color grade looks a grade or 2 grader whiter when it is CIB compared to WF ACA? I am not sure but I bet both brands provide execellent quality diamonds.
https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10415
https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10526
Should I break the bank with this 1ct?: https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10841


That is all I have got, and if you have read it until this point, I do really appreciate you time ;-) and please share your opinion on which is better or even recommend something new if you have the time (haha) Thank you ;p
 

amoline

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 11, 2018
Messages
252
Your situation sounds like it might be worth bringing to Yekutiel at IDJewelry, which is a company especially fantastic with squeezing absolutely everything out of a budget. CBI diamonds are similar to whiteflash -- all "superideal" cuts tend to face up a little whiter than their "official" grade, but if you have color discerning family to please, it may not be enough. Sorry you're feeling that pressure, though.

You won't find high color and a full 1 carat for 2500, but - for your purposes - IDJewelry may serve better than Whiteflash if size and color are all that are paid attention to. WF is great for their upgrade program, service, and sparkle of diamonds, but it doesn't sound like it's exactly what you're after, so at least give IDJ a try.

That said... WF has an absolutely fantastic upgrade policy, so if it would be an option for you to go with a smaller diamond now with the promise/knowledge to your relatives that you plan to continuously upgrade as you can... it could be an idea.

Let us know how it goes.
 

Sunstorm

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Feb 5, 2014
Messages
1,382
Whether you choose size or color/clarity is entirely up to you, just subjective. By no means should you listen to those who say a 0.6-0.7 is too small. A superideal that size with your specs will be insanely gorgeous and you are getting into an upgrade program which will allow you to upgrade to a 1 ct later.

If you prefer a 1 ct now you can go to say a 0.9 and go down in color and clarity. Unless your girlfriend is very color sensitive a J, SI1 should be fine. I think that you should talk to your preferred vendors and have some assistance in making your selection.

I do like the idea of going up in size and down in color/clarity but if spending a bit more now is a burden then don’t do it. I think the nice people here can also help you select a stone that is larger and gorgeous but Still within your budget.

Lastly, perhaps it may be worth checking with your girlfriend for her input on what her priority would be: size or color/clarity. But if you want to surprise her I think she will love what you are getting her based on her comment which was very easygoing and nice.

And yes it is of course worth buying her a diamond! It sounds like the idea makes her happy and that is exactly the point.
 

monipod

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2019
Messages
105
Like @Sunstorm said, it's a good idea to buy from a vendor with an upgrade program.

No, you won't notice the difference between a .6 or .7 so aim for a nice cut/colour in the smaller size range. Depending on the setting, a .6 round diamond will look nicely sized. But if you're worried about yours and her family's opinion, I think you'll find some lovely .9 in a lower colour and cut that will look big. Once you go over the magical 1ct mark, you'll pay for the privilege of saying you have a one carat stone.

For a promise ring, I think anything over .6 is too much to be honest. Save the bigger rock for the engagement ring. It's much easier wearing a smaller stone every day. Placing a round in a nice cushion bezel setting will make it look chunky but easy to wear. Good luck!
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
19,882
I think of a “promise ring” as something cute, flirty, sweet. Not an engagement ring extravaganza - if you get her a diamond of any size in that setting absolutely everyone will think you’re engaged... Why is her family so excited about a non-engagement ring?

Ditto previous posters: If a promise ring is supposed to signify prep for engagement, which is prep for marriage, use it that way and start learning to ignore family members (on both sides) sticking their noses into affairs that are none of their business.

Ditto @monipod - check out Tiffany’s Bezet line.
 

hypermom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 19, 2013
Messages
444
I love the setting your girlfriend has chosen. What you are proposing to buy will look like an engagement ring for sure.
Just throwing this out there--have you considered perhaps a 3 stone band ring? It won't look so much like an engagement ring but will look very sparkly and I think you could do it not too much over budget. High Performance Diamonds has an unique upgrade policy in that you can trade in multiple stones for 1 stone. (So when you are ready for the engagement ring purchase you can trade in those 3 stones towards the engagement ring stone.) I believe they also offer a discount if you buy at least 3 stones at one time. They have multiple 40 point stones on their website right now. They have awesome customer service-- I've worked with Layla in the past and she is great.
Something to think about. But it's really lovely what you are wanting to purchase for your girlfriend and I wish you the best in your search!
 

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
6
@amolime @Sunstorm @OcnGypZ Thank you for everyone's reply ;-) much love, I am really grateful for it. I told my gf and she also agrees with everyone haha and we have decided to choose a 0.61ct-ish diamond with the budget I've got.

These are some new options and all of them look nice but we cannot decide which to go for:
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4133819.htm
https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/diamonds/diamond-details/0.645-f-vvs2-round-diamond-ags-c-104105165043#!prettyPhoto[gallery2]/1/
https://www.briangavindiamonds.com/diamonds/diamond-details/0.624-f-vs1-round-diamond-ags-c-104104773124
https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD9823
https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10415

WF and BG look quite the same, but CBI's diamond on HPI look very dull as the contrast is hard to see, it that intentional?


For the upgrades, we dont think we will be using it (most likely), because we would like to keep it as a memory.

For the setting, my girlfriend agrees with you. @yssie @hypermom
So she will go look through some other setting haha, but three stones is a bit too old for her; maybe a twist band with no diamonds on it? or a vintage look i guess? I have no idea too :p
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
19,882
WF, BGD, and CBI have different photography styles. They’ll all be beautiful precision-cut stones - no fullness in real viewing.

In my opinion bezels are youthful, energetic, always-wearable styles that don’t immediately scream “engagement ring” like pronged solitaires.

But... Have you considered a diamond eternity band? You could get a lovely size in-budget, and this is a style she can continue to wear for the rest of her life, no competition with a future single-diamond style engagement ring (vs. a diamond solitaire that will eventually be shelved in favour of a larger/fancier diamond engagement ring).
 

mrs-b

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
6,085
Hi @Likesomehelp -

I am VERY familiar with the .625 G VS2 diamond WF recommended. Probably more so than anyone else here. I can assure you - it's a beautiful diamond, VERY white and sparkly, and eye catching.

More to the point than the size of the diamond, tho, is - what size is your girlfriend's finger? The look of the size of a diamond varies wildly, depending on the size of a woman's finger. If her finger is, say, a size 4, a ,625ct diamond will look fabulous. If it's a size 9 - it will look small. So - what size is her finger?

Are you planning on getting her an engagement ring in the future? Looking at the design she's chosen, she seems to like very feminine, dainty settings, so I'm wondering what she'll think of an industrial style of wedding ring. This sounds like something a man would choose, NOT something a woman would choose - so you might want to pull back on that idea. Also, if she likes very feminine styles, and you're planning on an engagement ring in the future as well as a promise ring now, it won't match the style of wedding ring you're talking about at all.

If, on the other hand, this promise ring will be her ONLY diamond ring (ie you're not planning on getting her an engagement ring at all), I would suggest waiting a bit, saving a few more dollars, and getting her something larger.

But if this ring is a promise ring and an engagement ring is coming later on, then a .625ct diamond is a very generous and lovely size.

So - summary...

1) What size is her finger?

2) Are you planning to get her an engagement ring later on?

3) Your industrial style wedding ring idea sounds more like your taste than hers. Encourage her to choose something SHE likes when the time comes, in the same way I'd encourage you to choose something YOU like for your OWN wedding ring.

4) The .625ct WhiteFlash diamond is perfect for a promise ring, but might be seen as a little small if it's the only diamond ring you plan to give her prior to getting married.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
20,961
I know its a different look but perhaps something like this that she could wear as a right hand ring after your real engagement takes place.


Another setting that would work nicely for a RHR in the future

I also like yssie's idea of an eternity band. Very wearable after you become engaged.
 

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
6
@yssie thank you for the input, but she said that she likes 6 prongs (tiffany & co fan) ??? and I think that is her definition of young lol. I would ask if she likes an eternity band but I doubt since I have explained that I will get an engagement ring that would be be around 12-15k and we both agreed that it is simply too valuable to wear all day. Given the context that I come from a down to earth teaching and she hates showing off. That is why this promise ring would actually being worn with the wedding ring in the future.

@mrs-b oh really? That is very nice!! Have you once had this diamond before? Both of us actually said that this is actually the best diamond out of the first selection.

1) Her finger size is no more than a 5.5 US ring size but the exact size she will go check it in the next couple of days.

2 & 4) Yes, I will get her an engagament ring later like above. maybe close to mid-late 20s, since both of us are in our early 20s that would be in like another 4 years at least.

3) For our wedding ring we share the common idea of having something meaningful to us, which I still dont know how it would possibly be done haha. I saw rings when I was younger and drawn into Meteorite rings and rough surface/unique looking ring like the one below:
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
19,882
When you said "young" I thought you were in your teens :bigsmile: Many of us - including me - were married in our early twenties ::)

Advise her to choose something she will love wearing right now and not worry too much about The Future. You're young now, but over the next few years your finances will change, your social circles will change, your goals and your priorities will change, and most likely (like, it's virtually guaranteed) her comfort with the idea of wearing a more pricey engagement ring will also change.

In ten years, if she's got a small solitaire and a large solitaire in a similar style, she's most likely always going to choose to wear the large solitaire. You'll have to trust us on that ::) That means the small solitaire will spend most of its time in her jewellery drawer. On the other hand, in ten years, if she's got an eternity band and a large solitaire, she doesn't have to choose which to wear - she can wear both at the same time!
 

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
6
@yssie very well thought out .O. Now I can kind of get the idea too :D. Let me share her this idea and see how she thinks about it. Thank you though :lol-2:.
 

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
6,178
Yes. And I have to add I feel .6 carats is perfectly respectable size for an engagement ring especially with that beautiful setting. My anniversary ring center stone was .5 carats and I wouldn't have wanted it any bigger.
The main thing is that it's a diamond size that SHE likes to wear. If she likes petite sizes then what you have picked out is great. If she would prefer to get a bigger size, especially if you are wiling to save up a little more in the next year, go with ID jewelry and get the biggest size you can afford and be one and done. Either way I wanted to chime in what you picked out is perfectly respectable for an engagement ring let alone promise ring.
 

Wewechew

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 8, 2017
Messages
1,906
a .6ct is a great size for a 5.5 finger. And if she wants to upgrade down the line, if you use WF you get their awesome upgrade policy :)
 

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
30,455
My gf and I are both Chinese, and yes, her relatives look at size and color more than anything else like cut or clarity.
Tell her relatives cut is the most important of the 4Cs. 90% of the Chinese people only care about is the 3 other Cs. They know nothing about super ideal cuts. .60- .70 ct is a good size stone. In the future you can easily upgrade with HPD or WF.
 

mrs-b

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 18, 2013
Messages
6,085
@mrs-b oh really? That is very nice!! Have you once had this diamond before? Both of us actually said that this is actually the best diamond out of the first selection.

1) Her finger size is no more than a 5.5 US ring size but the exact size she will go check it in the next couple of days.

2 & 4) Yes, I will get her an engagament ring later like above. maybe close to mid-late 20s, since both of us are in our early 20s that would be in like another 4 years at least.

3) For our wedding ring we share the common idea of having something meaningful to us, which I still dont know how it would possibly be done haha. I saw rings when I was younger and drawn into Meteorite rings and rough surface/unique looking ring like the one below:
Yes, I used to own that diamond. It's beautiful. I ultimately traded up with WF only a few months ago.

I think .62ct on a size 5.5 finger is a beautiful combination for a promise ring. Very generous and lovely. If she's chosen a certain setting she'd like, I'd say to get that; it's not up to a bunch of strangers to try to change your mind on what she wants. She might like to one day buy a matching diamond and make this one half of a pair of studs.

Most skilled jewelers could rebuild the head on this setting to accommodate (within reason) a larger stone. So she might end up with earrings and a solitaire without wasting anything at all.

Anyway, I love the .62ct idea; I think it would be smashing!
 

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
4,928
If the "promise" in your promise ring is that you're promising to marry her, it's an engagement ring.

If your girlfriend wants to get married and you don't, think about why you don't want to marry her and stop leading her on.

I don't understand how this is not an engagement ring if you even told the relatives??? Is this a cultural difference? If you buy your girlfriend a ring like this, I guarantee that everyone is going to think you're engaged, no matter what you say.

And yes, many of us got engaged or even married in our early twenties. Most people I know got engaged at 22 or 23.

I have explained that I will get an engagement ring that would be be around 12-15k and we both agreed that it is simply too valuable to wear all day. Given the context that I come from a down to earth teaching and she hates showing off. That is why this promise ring would actually being worn with the wedding ring in the future.
I have no idea why you would buy another ring if she isn't going to be wearing it and both of you are uncomfortable with the idea? Have an engagement "down payment on a car" instead or something. Don't spend $12k+ on a ring neither of you seem to want. Just my two cents.

Also re: meteorite ring - my husband's wedding band is meteorite inset in platinum and it is gorgeous. His was by Cross Jewelers and we ordered it over the phone from them. We bonded over our love of scifi and things like that so we liked having something actually from space.
 

sydneyatl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2015
Messages
106
I think this is very sweet of you but I would agree with going with something that is not too engagement ring-y. Otherwise she’ll constantly be getting congratulations and having to explain that she’s not engaged and getting confused looks, and that can really suck if she’s expecting a proposal at some point (ask me how I know lol).

FWIW, my husband bought me a “promise ring” when we were 25 that was essentially a cheaper, smaller model of what I knew I eventually wanted in an engagement ring. It cost $22 and today it occupies a place of honor in my jewelry box, but I can’t see myself ever wearing it again, so I’m glad he didn’t spend too much on it. When we got engaged a few years later he upgraded the CZ and amethyst to diamond and sapphire and bigger stones all around.
 

SouthernElle

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 12, 2019
Messages
133
So this is an engagement ring, you’re just not calling it that. And why buy a 12-15k ring in the future if she’s not going to wear it? Buy one now that she likes and say you’re engaged (it’s okay to have long engagements). OR buy her something nice that is either a right hand ring or other form of jewelry and get a diamond solitaire when you are ready to propose.

Also, please don’t try and get her to wear the kind of wedding band that YOU want to wear. It’s going to look like a huge hunk of metal on her small hand and not match a delicate diamond ring at all.

I’m sorry to be so blunt, but this all seems bizarre. Promise rings are for high schoolers.
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
19,882
I’m sorry to be so blunt, but this all seems bizarre. Promise rings are for high schoolers.
That’s kind of where I am.

You two are old enough to be married, so if people see any ring on her left third finger - that’s what they’re going to assume. I certainly don’t object to letting people make their own assumptions - I wore rings on that finger whilst single to avoid attention :))

You’ve got an “engagement ring” budget. A young couple’s engagement ring budget, sure, but you’re spending Engagement Money on this ring.

You’ve told the parents.

Just make sure you’re both on board with this “promise but not engagement” thing. I could see a woman in this situation having hopes for a Real Proposal.
 

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
6
I could see a woman in this situation having hopes for a Real Proposal.
I am not sure. My gf and I are only 23, I live in macau and often people get married by 28?29? I want to get married only when I am financially stable, able to down pay an apaprtment type stable, but I have no idea how long would that take. It would be weird to have an engaged and dont know how long will it be to getting married, and that would be up to five years. That is why is a promise ring suitable or is it too childish?
 

JaneDough

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2019
Messages
25
I am not sure. My gf and I are only 23, I live in macau and often people get married by 28?29? I want to get married only when I am financially stable, able to down pay an apaprtment type stable, but I have no idea how long would that take. It would be weird to have an engaged and dont know how long will it be to getting married, and that would be up to five years. That is why is a promise ring suitable or is it too childish?
It sounds like the two of you have already decided what you want the next few years to look like! Personally I’ve never understood promise rings because it’s not part of my culture or in my social circle but if you’ve already agreed this ring is different than an engagement ring, then stick to your guns and your budget and enjoy the ring =)2
Don’t let the relatives sway you and do what’s best for your situation. Congratulations!
 

Lessics

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
171
Another vote for a halfband eternity (can be more easily resized) or full band eternity ring! (In Spain eternity bands actually are engagement rings - but slowly people are moving to solitaires). That is such a classic piece of jewellery and she can wear it forever and she can pick rounds or emeralds or ovals.
 

lissyflo

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 23, 2016
Messages
656
I agree with others - it sounds like, given her relatives feel this is a big event, that you've sort of started a long engagement (intentionally or not) and this will be her one and only ring. That's qualified by the fact that promise rings aren't a thing in the UK, so maybe I'm misunderstanding the context.

Given the uncertainty in a number of areas in your post, I definitely agree that you would be best off with a very flexible option - either whatever you can currently well afford from somewhere with a great upgrade policy (along with a polite explanation to her family that you plan to be responsible and operate within a realistic budget. How you choose to spread the 4Cs across that budget is a matter for you and, principally, your girlfriend to be happy with.), or something that can be worn every day, as this seems to be an important feature in your initial post. A classic, classy eternity ring would fit that second bill perfectly, as others have said.

It's very easy when viewing expensive items to get into the mentality that 'it's only a little more' to push the budget, and to end up spending more than planned, especially if there's family pressure for high carat, high clarity, high colour. I'd be very tempted to take some time to go back to the beginning and decide what this ring means to you both, then take it from there. And remember that promises don't need to be backed up by diamonds to have meaning - what's most important is that they're backed up by love, commitment and honesty.
 

OcnGypZ

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
255
What about a colored stone she can wear on her right-hand with diamond accents? Perhaps her birthstone - as long as she wasn't born in April.
 
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