Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Need some help with a small budget ;(

Polished1911

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 30, 2019
Messages
62
I think promise rings, as many are seeing it, aren't the cultural normal for many on this board. I say if it's what you guys want to do then go for it! Don't mind what relitives say. About anything lol.

Personal opinion. Get a half eternity band. That way you have the promise ring that can be worn with the future engagement ring. And the wedding band if she wants to stack all 3 on occasion. It would be a shame to spend your current budget for a beautiful ring that will not be worn in a few years. A very nice eternity will elevate your future engagement ring!
 

sledge

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
3,775
I'm a guy. And I'm not sure I understand the whole idea of a promise ring. I remember some of my buddies doing that when I was in high school but it was like a cheap $100-300 ring.

I never gave one myself. Figured I'd either find the right one to marry or do some sampling before I popped the question.

Once I met my wife I knew. While there are things I wanted more secure in my life I ultimately knew having her made my life more secure. Weird to say that because I am the protector in all other areas but she fulfills me in a way I didn't even know I was missing until I met her.

But enough sappy love crap. Do what you wish. I just think she and her family consider this an e-ring regardless what you are calling it.

I would encourage you to stick with WF and tell your future in laws to pound sand, albeit diplomatically although if they were persistent I'd be very clear it wasn't their decision. IMO, it's very important you establish dominance while also conveying you respect them and their opinions. It allows them to be important but not controlling entities in your relationship.

The nice thing about WF is the diamonds have a lifetime upgrade policy. So you can grow the diamond as your life, desires and finances grow. Their program is great, simply spend $1 more and get FULL value of your original stone for a new stone. Simple as can be with no risk.

We already know they have an ideal cut with true hearts and arrow (H&A) symmetry which means they are the best of the best, and only about 1% or so of the entire population has such a finely cut stone. In diamonds, sparkle/fire is what makes the world go round so I'd strongly encourage you to always make that your #1 priority.

Lastly, WF is the only vendor that also has a lifetime designer setting upgrade program. It's not as generous as the diamond program, but it allows you to trade up to another designer band and get 50% of the value of the original designer to apply to it. FYI, Vatche is a designer that qualifies for the program.

With the upgrade programs in mind, if you later upgrade the diamond and setting your max loss will be about $700 (50% of the Vatche band she has already chosen).
 

ringo865

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 14, 2014
Messages
2,276
@sledge :love: such a romantic. But he’s right. Go with Whiteflash and then later when you really get engaged or married, you can up the size or color or clarity. Cut will be astounding no matter what and her diamond will outshine most anyone’s.
 

rockysalamander

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 20, 2016
Messages
5,009
Get married when it works for you both. Not one minute before. My mom was 17, I was 32. Do what works for you, not anyone else.

Just throwing out a few more ideas that won't read as wedding or engagement, per se.

Infinity
1573221230160.png
1573220899751.png

Moi Toi - you can use stones to represent both of you.My son and husband both have green eyes, so I added a green diamond to my wedding band to represent them. Does not have to be birth stones, maybe certain colors have meaning to you both.

1573220983503.png

1573221181063.png
1573221121136.png
{could easily be made with two diamonds from WF within your budget}
 

Attachments

msop04

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 3, 2011
Messages
9,398
I am not sure. My gf and I are only 23, I live in macau and often people get married by 28?29? I want to get married only when I am financially stable, able to down pay an apaprtment type stable, but I have no idea how long would that take. It would be weird to have an engaged and dont know how long will it be to getting married, and that would be up to five years. That is why is a promise ring suitable or is it too childish?
In your early 20's, it's my opinion that a promise ring is childish. Get her a diamond you can afford NOW (from a vendor with a generous upgrade policy)... get the setting she wants to wear NOW. Propose to her with it for real... a marriage proposal. Longer engagements are done all the time. I don't think 4-5 years is crazy if both of you agree to it and are happy to wait.

As finances change, upgrade the diamond... or not. Just please don't give this adult WOMAN an engagement ring and call it a "promise ring." Please. Just don't.
 

Rose-gold-or-bust

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
284
It’s okay to have a long engagement. I think that’s way more common than a promise ring in your twenties. I think it would be a lot easier to explain to people that you don’t have date set yet and are planning to have a long engagement then why the diamond ring isn’t an engagement ring when it looks like one and you’ve been together a while.

But what I say doesn’t matter. It’s your relationship so do what works for you.
 

JaneDough

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2019
Messages
26
It sounds like the two of you have already decided what you want the next few years to look like! Personally I’ve never understood promise rings because it’s not part of my culture or in my social circle but if you’ve already agreed this ring is different than an engagement ring, then stick to your guns and your budget and enjoy the ring =)2
Don’t let the relatives sway you and do what’s best for your situation. Congratulations!
Giving this some further thought, and please excuse me if this is unnecessary relationship advice when you're just seeking ring advice, but you stated that you were not sure if your girlfriend had hopes for this to be a real proposal and that you only want to get engaged when you felt you achieved financial stability.

It's worth communicating that to her and to see if she is on the same page as you. At the end of the day, it takes two to tango! Go back to her and have a discussion about whether what she really wants is an engagement and whether she would be bothered if this does not become an engagement... Sounds like you had to talk her out of the idea of this ring symbolizing the engagement purely based on your financial situation and plans.

Maybe while you have this discussion you can talk about your financial plans for the future and where the ring fits into this. It may be she decides to save money for your future plans, or a more pricier future engagement ring, and chooses a half eternity band or something simpler for now.

Engage her in budgeting for the future. Maybe she has different ideas or will get excited at the prospect of saving for the future together? You should not be the only one considering budgets, debts, paying of student loans and other financial goals for you and for her. I'm sure she will appreciate this discussion. Life isn't perfect :) Sometimes you get married and have kids without owning a house first. In my city, real estate is crazy expensive without competitive salaries. Many people get married, have kids and save up for their first homes in that order.
 

partgypsy

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
6,198
Yes, I mean every culture is different but even I am confused, is this a promise ring or an engagement ring? Everything you are saying, it sounds more like an engagement ring. Including the price. A promise ring is 100's of dollars, not 1000's of dollars (here are examples of typical promise rings https://www.kay.com/rings/promise-rings/c/9000000080?loadMore=1.
At least in my parents age people didn't wait until they had enough money to buy a house before getting married. Both my parents and my ex's parents case, they got married, rented for 5 or so years, even had one or more children before actually getting a house. I and my ex were married for 2 years before we got a house. Engagement ring means you have a clear intention (and usually timeline) for getting married. Promise ring means you are going steady, are boyfriend/girlfriend.
 
Last edited:

Jsand

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
66
This is a lovely idea and it sounds like you’ve both thought it through a lot! I think labelling it a “promise ring” seems to have people thinking a certain way, but who cares!

Please also don’t worry about everyone else thinking that you should get engaged to be married now! 23 is young (in my humble opinion) to be fully settling down. I couldn’t imagine being married at that age! Every culture and couple is different.

I agree with @sledge regarding upgrading the setting and stone with Whiteflash when it does eventually become an official “engagement ring”! It’s the best way to not waste $4k in this scenario.

The cynic in me would also point out - *if* for any reason you don’t end up getting engaged (seeing as you feel it could be years down the line), I believe she can trade it in at Whiteflash for 2 smaller diamonds and make earrings.
 

Rose-gold-or-bust

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 7, 2019
Messages
284
This is a lovely idea and it sounds like you’ve both thought it through a lot! I think labelling it a “promise ring” seems to have people thinking a certain way, but who cares!

Please also don’t worry about everyone else thinking that you should get engaged to be married now! 23 is young (in my humble opinion) to be fully settling down. I couldn’t imagine being married at that age! Every culture and couple is different.

I agree with @sledge regarding upgrading the setting and stone with Whiteflash when it does eventually become an official “engagement ring”! It’s the best way to not waste $4k in this scenario.

The cynic in me would also point out - *if* for any reason you don’t end up getting engaged (seeing as you feel it could be years down the line), I believe she can trade it in at Whiteflash for 2 smaller diamonds and make earrings.
I don’t think white flash allows you to trade 1 diamond into 2 smaller ones. HPD does but I’m almost certain that WF only goes 1 for 1 trades. But... she can trade that solitaire in towards her bigger engagement ring stone (and maybe that only applies to their super ideal line...double check all that)
 

sledge

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
3,775
WF's trade-in policy includes all their of their in-house brands: ACA, PS and ES.


Also, I believe the upgrade program is limited to the ORIGINAL PURCHASER. This may get tricky if the guy buys the ring, they break up and the girl wants to upgrade. Technically the guy is the original purchaser and the girl is ineligible for an upgrade.

An easy solution is to have the paperwork worded so that both the guy & girl are the purchaser. There was actually a thread about this awhile back. I can't remember WF's stance, but I do remember @Wink stating HPD always includes the significant other. This can be a fairly big deal as not everyone stays together forever, and people die at all ages some of which is expected and not.

Lastly, I am uncertain WF's stance on the trade 1 larger stone for 2 smaller stones that are of greater value. The first I heard of that was with HPD and I understand it was by special request, but they now make it available to whomever. My point is your never know, unless you ask. Perhaps @Texas Leaguer can clarify for us.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
1,972
I am not sure. My gf and I are only 23, I live in macau and often people get married by 28?29? I want to get married only when I am financially stable, able to down pay an apaprtment type stable, but I have no idea how long would that take. It would be weird to have an engaged and dont know how long will it be to getting married, and that would be up to five years. That is why is a promise ring suitable or is it too childish?
its not childish
it is sweet
it comes from the heart
i always thought a promise ring was a little sparkly token of a promise of commitment and deeper commitment further down the line
it might be a cultural thing where you live but i think your budget is very generouse for a promise ring but it is entirely your money and your bussiness how much you spend not extended family. i thinm the budget and size you have in mind for the promise ring is perfectly fine for an ERing but we all have different expectations

i think it would be nice in the future for you'r lady to wear the ring on a different finger or the other hand rather than discard it to the bottom of the jewlery box or upgrade

i just think 'mum's promise ring from dad' would also be a lovelly sweet 16 present one day to gift to your future daughter but im turning into a sentimental old fool so what would i know
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
1,972
oh sorry @Likesomehelp i forgot to say congradulations on being in a committed happy relationship with a future together
i did just read this on the internet
basically do what ever makes her (and your heart) sing
 

strawrose

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 24, 2014
Messages
879
Here’s an idea: spend no more than $1k and put 3k into a money earning fund. When you are ready for the engagement, you take it out and spend the new amount on the real engagement ring.;-)
 

GliderPoss

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,176
Hmm lots of good advice here although I agree the promise ring idea seems confusing and sounds like your girlfriend and her family are expecting THIS to be the engagement ring. Stop and have this serious conversation with her first before buying anything! :naughty:

I would either buy the engagement ring now and tell everyone you will be having a long engagement OR just get a nice eternity band or coloured gemstone ring, could even be a necklace as a gift of your intentions to marry someday. Don't promise one then not follow through...
 

likes_shiny_objects

Rough_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
12
I think it is a wonderful gesture to get her a ring to symbolize your commitment. I also understand you don't want it mistaken for an engagement ring. I also know not everyone one wants to wear a large bling ring. One of the most romantic rings you can get and you may want to consider is a toi et moi ring. My suggestion is to maybe have each of your birthstones and can add some accent diamonds or two diamonds and birthstones accents, one diamond, one birthstone which could be worn either hand and would make a beautiful right hand ring later when you are ready to have an official engagement. You can get something wonderful with your budget Screen Shot 2019-11-13 at 8.27.43 PM.png
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
1,972
I think it is a wonderful gesture to get her a ring to symbolize your commitment. I also understand you don't want it mistaken for an engagement ring. I also know not everyone one wants to wear a large bling ring. One of the most romantic rings you can get and you may want to consider is a toi et moi ring. My suggestion is to maybe have each of your birthstones and can add some accent diamonds or two diamonds and birthstones accents, one diamond, one birthstone which could be worn either hand and would make a beautiful right hand ring later when you are ready to have an official engagement. You can get something wonderful with your budget Screen Shot 2019-11-13 at 8.27.43 PM.png
that's really beauriful and meaningful but also not overly Engagment- ringy looking
what a great idea
 

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
7
Thank you for all the replies haha <3 much love!

Update:

Gf and I have been talking and having deep conversations about everyone's comment and I went digging for photos to let her see all the styles: (half) eternity ring, 3 ring setup, engagement ring and wedding ring, toi et moi, and different settings. We went down to wholesale jewelers to checked different size and settings. It seems like she has particular fond to solitaires and paves in general, maybe culture influence or girls always have a fantasy for that. She seems to like smaller size diamonds (thank god) after trying out different sizes with her ring size 6 so there is no need of compromises in color or clarity or even cut for a larger carat.

We have talked about the promise ring, she really liked the idea. To her, she said it might even mean more than an engagement ring since this will be the first ring, and neither will she upgrade it because it defeats the purpose of it - it's this diamond and ring that matters. Although I have tried to convice her to use it, it offers great value but anyway, its up to her and I totally respect that. I guess I will just have to buy more in the future... ( ; _ ; )

She plans to have this as a daily wear, and knowing she won't be using the upgrades, I decided to stretch a little tiny bit budget into it. I did some more digging and searching for super ideal loose diamonds. I would like to have a colorless diamond with nice clean VS level diamond. And comparing all the available vendors, the first ride will be with HPD. =)

Two options:
0.64ct F VS1 - Most likely to go for this as the size is the same but the overall Asets Idealscopes look better
0.65ct F VS1

Feel free to share your opinion :D!
 

jackgan

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
11
Thank you for all the replies haha <3 much love!

Update:

Gf and I have been talking and having deep conversations about everyone's comment and I went digging for photos to let her see all the styles: (half) eternity ring, 3 ring setup, engagement ring and wedding ring, toi et moi, and different settings. We went down to wholesale jewelers to checked different size and settings. It seems like she has particular fond to solitaires and paves in general, maybe culture influence or girls always have a fantasy for that. She seems to like smaller size diamonds (thank god) after trying out different sizes with her ring size 6 so there is no need of compromises in color or clarity or even cut for a larger carat.

We have talked about the promise ring, she really liked the idea. To her, she said it might even mean more than an engagement ring since this will be the first ring, and neither will she upgrade it because it defeats the purpose of it - it's this diamond and ring that matters. Although I have tried to convice her to use it, it offers great value but anyway, its up to her and I totally respect that. I guess I will just have to buy more in the future... ( ; _ ; )

She plans to have this as a daily wear, and knowing she won't be using the upgrades, I decided to stretch a little tiny bit budget into it. I did some more digging and searching for super ideal loose diamonds. I would like to have a colorless diamond with nice clean VS level diamond. And comparing all the available vendors, the first ride will be with HPD. =)

Two options:
0.64ct F VS1 - Most likely to go for this as the size is the same but the overall Asets Idealscopes look better
0.65ct F VS1

Feel free to share your opinion :D!
Out of those two, I prefer the 0.64ct as the other seems to have more light leakage near the center.

Knowing that you two will see this as a very memorable ring and not going to upgrade it in the future, I would suggest the one below from WF which is ACA Collection Series with just 0.042ct less, 0.18mm (or 0.09mm from center) smaller and $473 cheaper. This diamond, with the first Vatche ring that your GF pick, will be just a little over your initial $4k budget. And you even have enough to add $96 more to go with platinum which is more durable than 18K white.


The different in size is so small that it will be hard to notice the difference, yet you get to save a few hundred bucks to either spend on her favorite ring or for something else, maybe a romantic dinner or a quick getaway to have a memorable time to spend together.
 
Last edited:

distracts

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 11, 2011
Messages
5,100
Out of those two, I prefer the 0.64ct as the other seems to have more light leakage near the center.

Knowing that you two will see this as a very memorable ring and not going to upgrade it in the future, I would suggest the one below from WF which is ACA Collection Series with just 0.042ct less, 0.18mm (or 0.09mm from center) smaller and $473 cheaper. This diamond, with the first Vatche ring that your GF pick, will be just a little over your initial $4k budget. And you even have enough to add $96 more to go with platinum which is more durable than 18K white.


The different in size is so small that it will be hard to notice the difference, yet you get to save a few hundred bucks to either spend on her favorite ring or for something else, maybe a romantic dinner or a quick getaway to have a memorable time to spend together.
If it's a CBI, I sincerely doubt it will have any leakage.

I prefer the 0.64 CBI.
 

TODiamonds

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2019
Messages
180
If I were you, I would take my time, save up more money, become financially stable and then get a 1ct stone when you are both ready to get engaged. Forget the promise ring.

Despite what she said, practically speaking - you don't want her relatives (who will eventually be your family) labeling you as cheap for the rest of your life if you go with the 0.6ct.
 

JaneDough

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 17, 2019
Messages
26
Thank you for all the replies haha <3 much love!

Update:

Gf and I have been talking and having deep conversations about everyone's comment and I went digging for photos to let her see all the styles: (half) eternity ring, 3 ring setup, engagement ring and wedding ring, toi et moi, and different settings. We went down to wholesale jewelers to checked different size and settings. It seems like she has particular fond to solitaires and paves in general, maybe culture influence or girls always have a fantasy for that. She seems to like smaller size diamonds (thank god) after trying out different sizes with her ring size 6 so there is no need of compromises in color or clarity or even cut for a larger carat.

We have talked about the promise ring, she really liked the idea. To her, she said it might even mean more than an engagement ring since this will be the first ring, and neither will she upgrade it because it defeats the purpose of it - it's this diamond and ring that matters. Although I have tried to convice her to use it, it offers great value but anyway, its up to her and I totally respect that. I guess I will just have to buy more in the future... ( ; _ ; )

She plans to have this as a daily wear, and knowing she won't be using the upgrades, I decided to stretch a little tiny bit budget into it. I did some more digging and searching for super ideal loose diamonds. I would like to have a colorless diamond with nice clean VS level diamond. And comparing all the available vendors, the first ride will be with HPD. =)

Two options:
0.64ct F VS1 - Most likely to go for this as the size is the same but the overall Asets Idealscopes look better
0.65ct F VS1

Feel free to share your opinion :D!
Awww so happy for you two! Have fun with the process :)
 

GliderPoss

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,176
I agree $4K is a LOT to spend on a promise ring, are you planning to spend significantly more on the engagement ring? I'd spend a few hundred bucks then save the rest for the main event...
 

CheeSauce

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
113
I had a promise ring that my college boyfriend gave me from Tiffany (we are no longer together). It was only a few hundred dollars but that was a big deal when we were 18/19/20. I wore the promise ring on my right hand ring finger instead of my left and people were not confused. My ex boyfriend also wore a ring on his ring hand ring figure for the 7 years we were together. Just an idea that might help avoid confusion.
 

jackgan

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 3, 2019
Messages
11
Likesomehelp, if you are still reading this thread, I found a video that will be very useful for you. It's an unboxing video, with the same ring setting your GF like, a similar carat size, and fit just under your $4k budget. There is also another video from them for a detail review on the ring too. Technically that will be the exact same ring you will get in the box and it is a very beautiful and elegant promise ring.

 

Likesomehelp

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 5, 2019
Messages
7
Thank you for all the recent replies. I have decided to go with the 0.644ct HPD.

the WF video a few posts above is what she saw when we were searching for super ideal diamonds and she saw that video and immediately jumped and said thats the one ring she wants haha. It was quite an easy decision. We went through most of the major designer settings and on JA and BN, and none seems to interest her as much as the Vatche. So that was it.

I hope everything and everyone will be happy in the end.

Estimate arrival for the final product would be before Christmas Eve. <3
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.

New posts

Top