Need help choosing a diamond size for my lady

[Gypsy]

Forget the surprise. The RING doesn't have to be a surprise. You can have a surprise proposal, have it be special and wonderful, without a surprise ring. She's talked to you about rings. So she knows she is probably going to get one. Surprise over.

I know society makes it sound like the proposal is some huge right of passage for men with all kinds of rules. That they have to magically know what the perfect ring is, buy it, and propose and make it a big to do.

The fact is that's Disney. Men are not mind readers. And when you are spending a large amount of money on an item you want to do all the research possible. Especially when it is a gift for someone else that they are expected to wear EVERY DAY for the rest of their lives.

So take your lady down to your local jewelry store. Make a romantic date of it. Go to a nice lunch. And have her try on rings. Decide what is right for her, get measured for ring size.

That's reality. That's marriage. And that's what you are contemplating. You aren't a child, so forget Disney and it's dictates.

The proposal can still be a complete surprise. And it WILL be special for one simple reason: it will be ONCE in a lifetime event for you both. And it will still be amazing.

Okay?

 

[shaggy1]

Forget the surprise. The RING doesn't have to be a surprise. You can have a surprise proposal, have it be special and wonderful, without a surprise ring. She's talked to you about rings. So she knows she is probably going to get one. Surprise over.

I know society makes it sound like the proposal is some huge right of passage for men with all kinds of rules. That they have to magically know what the perfect ring is, buy it, and propose and make it a big to do.

The fact is that's Disney. Men are not mind readers. And when you are spending a large amount of money on an item you want to do all the research possible. Especially when it is a gift for someone else that they are expected to wear EVERY DAY for the rest of their lives.

So take your lady down to your local jewelry store. Make a romantic date of it. Go to a nice lunch. And have her try on rings. Decide what is right for her, get measured for ring size.

That's reality. That's marriage. And that's what you are contemplating. You aren't a child, so forget Disney and it's dictates.

The proposal can still be a complete surprise. And it WILL be special for one simple reason: it will be ONCE in a lifetime event for you both. And it will still be amazing.

Okay?

I agree, but I would add that when you go to the jewelry store, have things set aside that are in your price range. Just so your girlfriend doesn't fall in love with something that costs 100 times more than you can afford.

I really do wish men would get over the thought that they have to pick the ring themselves, and the notion that the girlfriend 'will love anything I give her.' of course she'll love it, but... if it's my engagement ring I am going to be wearing it all the time and looking at it all the time. Doesn't it make sense that I should be the one who decides what it looks like? / rhetorical

 

[lovedogs]

Definitely agree with the idea of going ring shopping together. My husband and I did that, and ended up finding something we both loved. We bought it, and then he surprised me with the actual proposal. I loved being involved in the decision process and he has said multiple times that there's no way he could have done it alone. You certainly don't have to buy with her present, but at least going and trying things on to get a sense of her style and size preferences is really important, especially since it sounds like she doesn't have a set style and hasn't sat down with you and said "I want THIS one".

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'd agree not to surprise the gf with an expensive setting. You could end up flushing a few thousand bucks down the toilet if she doesn't like the setting.

 

[JDDN]

Forget the surprise. The RING doesn't have to be a surprise. You can have a surprise proposal, have it be special and wonderful, without a surprise ring. She's talked to you about rings. So she knows she is probably going to get one. Surprise over.

I know society makes it sound like the proposal is some huge right of passage for men with all kinds of rules. That they have to magically know what the perfect ring is, buy it, and propose and make it a big to do.

The fact is that's Disney. Men are not mind readers. And when you are spending a large amount of money on an item you want to do all the research possible. Especially when it is a gift for someone else that they are expected to wear EVERY DAY for the rest of their lives.

So take your lady down to your local jewelry store. Make a romantic date of it. Go to a nice lunch. And have her try on rings. Decide what is right for her, get measured for ring size.

That's reality. That's marriage. And that's what you are contemplating. You aren't a child, so forget Disney and it's dictates.

The proposal can still be a complete surprise. And it WILL be special for one simple reason: it will be ONCE in a lifetime event for you both. And it will still be amazing.

Okay?

Totally agree with all of this. Taking your GF to a jewelry store or two and trying on styles and different sizes of stones could be super romantic and fun. Make a date day out of it and it will be forever special. Like Gypsy said....it's not like the idea of marriage is a complete surprise. Even if she mostly chooses her ring (or completely chooses her ring), the actual proposal and how and when you do it will be a complete surprise. I would have LOVED if my husband did this, LOL. She may surprise herself regarding what she actually likes!