Mission impossible: 1.5ct cushion halo for 5K - Please help me find a ring for my SIL!

[HDer]

I agree with you. But honestly even if she is overpaying by a thousand or two what does it matter as long as she's happy with the purchase? Probably not worth getting your brother involved and making it into a whole "thing."

 

[SimoneDi]

@ccuheartnurse @HDer no, no this is not to turn into a "thing" I love her and want the best for her which is why I am having a hard time giving the "okay" on a purchase that I am not 100% comfortable with. I recently bought an uncerted diamond, it even came wih a chip, but I have a plan for it and I am totally ok with my own purchase, it was also much less than 5K. Diamonds sparkle always, even when not well cut, which I think is why it is difficult sometimes to judge how well performing especially fancy shape diamonds are, at least to me. I will take pics, will share once I have them.

 

[ac117]

What a turn of events! I agree with everything that ccuheartnurse said - the fact of the matter is, a lot of people just don't care as much about cut/details as us PSers and it gets to a point where it will be nearly impossible to change their minds so should you even keep trying....tough but true! As long as she's happy with it, you've done all you can!

 

[SimoneDi]

What a turn of events! I agree with everything that ccuheartnurse said - the fact of the matter is, a lot of people just don't care as much about cut/details as us PSers and it gets to a point where it will be nearly impossible to change their minds so should you even keep trying....tough but true! As long as she's happy with it, you've done all you can!

You are right.. it just kills me lol I will say whatever I think of it when I see it and that would be it. Shame really, because she is giving up such important (to me) benefits - GIA, high def + ASET images, upgrade options (hello!) but I cannot force my own opinion on her, so I will let it go if she is really happy with the ring.

 

[BlingDreams]

@SimoneDi - I was out of town for a while and just caught up on the turn of events! How did it go over the weekend?

 

[msop04]

What a turn of events! I agree with everything that ccuheartnurse said - the fact of the matter is, a lot of people just don't care as much about cut/details as us PSers and it gets to a point where it will be nearly impossible to change their minds so should you even keep trying....tough but true! As long as she's happy with it, you've done all you can!

This exactly... I had a feeling she'd end up with the local ring. Hopefully it will be very nice, and even if not up to PS standards, at least you know she loves it.

 

[msop04]

You are right.. it just kills me lol I will say whatever I think of it when I see it and that would be it. Shame really, because she is giving up such important (to me) benefits - GIA, high def + ASET images, upgrade options (hello!) but I cannot force my own opinion on her, so I will let it go if she is really happy with the ring.

...and this is why she is lucky to have you!
P.S. this whole thing would bug the living sh!t outta me too.

 

[PattyCo]

One of the comments you made early on made it seem like the ring symbolized a new beginning with her husband, so I can understand wanting it NOW.
I applaud your willingness to help them get the best, and the local ring seems to be the best for her. I hope she wears if for many happy years!

 

[Tourmaline]

Do you have an update? Did you see her local ring?

 

[SimoneDi]

@ILikeShiny @msop04 @PattyCo @Tourmaline thank you for thinking of me (us) ladies!

Alright, so I did see the ring this weekend. Unfortunately, I do not have pictures, but the general observations are that the center stone is alright. It has nice facets, but it doesn't really seem like it performs well. The facets are rather "still", I am not sure how else to explain it. I only have an IS, but even the IS showed some white (leakage). It is a white and clean stone otherwise. It was sold as an F. F/G is where I would put it, SI1 due to some clear inclusions. It is not a large stone, really just around the 1ct mark so it is probably 5.7 x 5.7ish. I couldn't really get the exact measurements. I was really not crazy about the setting. Very metal-y overall apperance, poor, chunky prong work.. just no (to me at least). The bezel is also crooked and overall I was just underwhelmed. No/missing GIA still bothers me a lot, so overall I think that she can do better/safer for the price.

I found another really nice stone on JA. I am hesitant to post it because she has not reserved it yet, but it seems like a really white facing J and below is the ASET. It is also right within budget. She is doing some thinking... I will also have an ASET soon, so we will try to meet one more time before the 30 days for the local ring expire to look at the stone again.

 

[mrs-b]

Wow - nice aset, @SimoneDi

I've been checking back here daily, hoping you can help her find something wonderful.

 

[SimoneDi]

Wow - nice aset, @SimoneDi

I've been checking back here daily, hoping you can help her find something wonderful.

Awe! Thank you @mrs-b! Frankly, I was disappointed that she gave up on the K before even seeing it in person, but oh well, not my decision to make. (A few mins ago I saw that someone else on PS already reserved it, so I am happy for them). I brought her a low J/K colored diamond just for giggles, obviously she couldn't guess the color and thought that it was much whiter.
TBD as to what the final pick would be. I understand that she is new to diamonds, so it takes her longer to make a decision and appreciate a well cut diamond. I only hope that her hesitation doesn't lead to yet another missed opportunity..

 

[mrs-b]

Awe! Thank you @mrs-b! Frankly, I was disappointed that she gave up on the K before even seeing it in person, but oh well, not my decision to make. (A few mins ago I saw that someone else on PS already reserved it, so I am happy for them). I brought her a low J/K colored diamond just for giggles, obviously she couldn't guess the color and thought that it was much whiter.
TBD as to what the final pick would be. I understand that she is new to diamonds, so it takes her longer to make a decision and appreciate a well cut diamond. I only hope that her hesitation doesn't lead to yet another missed opportunity..

If I were you, this would send me out of my mind! Hoping she makes wise choice.

 

[Tourmaline]

I admire your patience.

 

[SimoneDi]

If I were you, this would send me out of my mind! Hoping she makes wise choice.

Yep, that's kinda what I felt lol I think that for her it is a "mind clean" thing. She kept mentioning how "K" is in the "faint color" category, while J is "near colorless" and to me they are both very, very similar.

I admire your patience.

Thanks, I admire my own patience at this point haha

 

[partgypsy]

That does sound very frustrating! I have had the same thing happen to me before, where a family member asks me for advice, then ignores it and does their own thing. Ssome people don't place much emphasis on cut quality or treatments or getting the best value for their money, and like picking stuff out more spontaneously. At some point just disengage emotionally from it as you have done what you can. You are a good bil.

 

[BlingDreams]

Another beautiful ASET! I hope she gives it a shot.

I just had a thought... it seems like the biggest stumbling block is that she wants something NOW, prossibly to remind her of the new start in her marriage. Could you/she find a gorgeous cz (cough cough... sorry admin) and temp setting to tide her over, so then maybe she’d have patience and wait for a diamond and new setting to be ready?

Wink still has some beautifully cut ones available I believe; head to the Fabulous Faux board for examples and more info.

P.S. I too would be losing my mind. I can’t imagine all of the time you’ve spent on this project already, only to have your input poo-poo’d

 

[SimoneDi]

That does sound very frustrating! I have had the same thing happen to me before, where a family member asks me for advice, then ignores it and does their own thing. Some people don't place much emphasis on cut quality or treatments or getting the best value for their money, and like picking stuff out more spontaneously. At some point just disengage emotionally from it as you have done what you can. You are a good bil.

Oh, so you know exactly what I am going through :roll I mean..I can understand her hesitation to a certain extend and I will only advice a little longer. At the end, it would be her choice. I just sent her come additional color comparisons this morning. I am just hoping that whatever she ends up with, she is happy.

Another beautiful ASET! I hope she gives it a shot.

I just had a thought... it seems like the biggest stumbling block is that she wants something NOW, prossibly to remind her of the new start in her marriage. Could you/she find a gorgeous cz (cough cough... sorry admin) and temp setting to tide her over, so then maybe she’d have patience and wait for a diamond and new setting to be ready?

Wink still has some beautifully cut ones available I believe; head to the Fabulous Faux board for examples and more info.

P.S. I too would be losing my mind. I can’t imagine all of the time you’ve spent on this project already, only to have your input poo-poo’d

That last sentence made me LOL I have suggested that, even sent her a video of my winkcz next to my old diamond. She just wants a real diamond as she has has several CZ/mossy rings. I think that CZs are great to explore what you like, size, even color! But she wants a DIAMOND

 

[HappyNewLife]

Oh, so you know exactly what I am going through :roll I mean..I can understand her hesitation to a certain extend and I will only advice a little longer. At the end, it would be her choice. I just sent her come additional color comparisons this morning. I am just hoping that whatever she ends up with, she is happy.



That last sentence made me LOL I have suggested that, even sent her a video of my winkcz next to my old diamond. She just wants a real diamond as she has has several CZ/mossy rings. I think that CZs are great to explore what you like, size, even color! But she wants a DIAMOND

Ultimately she wants what she wants and she wants it NOWWWWWWWWW. Lol. You've done all you could. I hope her new (old), overpriced ring makes her happy

 

[ac117]

I know all too well how you feel, which is why I posted what I did earlier! One of my best friend's husband KNOWS I'm a jewelry aficionado and went out and bought her a "sapphire" diamond ring as a surprise for $3-4k!!!! When she received it, she consulted me and I gave her the rundown on sapphires (to the extent I knew, but also knowing she didn't get a quality one) and told her that's a lot of money to be spending without knowing what she's getting and that she could certainly do better. I told her return it and I'll help you...it'll be gorgeous, I promise - send her samples of things she can get, etc....they went back to the vendor together now knowing everything I told them, the vendor ADMITS the sapphire is treated for everything under the sun basically, and instead of returning the stone, getting a refund and starting over?!?!? She buys a GINORMOUS double halo setting with diamonds that are not great quality (and she's heard my spiel on diamonds a million times) from them for an ADDITIONAL $3k. Sigh..... Sorry to thread jack...that was a while ago but it still frustrates me! Lol!

 

[SimoneDi]

I know all too well how you feel, which is why I posted what I did earlier! One of my best friend's husband KNOWS I'm a jewelry aficionado and went out and bought her a "sapphire" diamond ring as a surprise for $3-4k!!!! When she received it, she consulted me and I gave her the rundown on sapphires (to the extent I knew, but also knowing she didn't get a quality one) and told her that's a lot of money to be spending without knowing what she's getting and that she could certainly do better. I told her return it and I'll help you...it'll be gorgeous, I promise - send her samples of things she can get, etc....they went back to the vendor together now knowing everything I told them, the vendor ADMITS the sapphire is treated for everything under the sun basically, and instead of returning the stone, getting a refund and starting over?!?!? She buys a GINORMOUS double halo setting with diamonds that are not great quality (and she's heard my spiel on diamonds a million times) from them for an ADDITIONAL $3k. Sigh..... Sorry to thread jack...that was a while ago but it still frustrates me! Lol!

Ugh..this hits home..I have has several friends who have acted pretty much the exact same way, it is really frustrating. I just expected my own SIL to listen more to me lol I have no other agenda besides helping her get the best for her money! (sight) Wish me luck, she is liking the new J diamond, but I am not sure if she will act fast enough on it. Last night she asked me how often do nice cushions come along, my thought process: "um..considering that the total budget is 5k, most cushions do not look good and you want "white" and eye clean, it is pretty infrequent" She is now concerned about the shipping timing as they are going away and the package may arrive at that time. I volunteered to pick it up and explained that JAs setting process will take longer...I am not sure if my message has been heard yet.

 

[ac117]

So frustrating....but ultimately, she will need to look at it everyday! Not you!

 

[SimoneDi]

So frustrating....but ultimately, she will need to look at it everyday! Not you!

True, true, which is why I haven't really pushed hard on anything

 

[msop04]

Ugh..this hits home..I have has several friends who have acted pretty much the exact same way, it is really frustrating. I just expected my own SIL to listen more to me lol I have no other agenda besides helping her get the best for her money! (sight) Wish me luck, she is liking the new J diamond, but I am not sure if she will act fast enough on it. Last night she asked me how often do nice cushions come along, my thought process: "um..considering that the total budget is 5k, most cushions do not look good and you want "white" and eye clean, it is pretty infrequent" She is now concerned about the shipping timing as they are going away and the package may arrive at that time. I volunteered to pick it up and explained that JAs setting process will take longer...I am not sure if my message has been heard yet.

OMG. Reading how you're continually going out of your way to help your SIL and knowing her reaction has seriously made my heart rate go sky high! I couldn't handle it. Seriously, you're a saint. I would already be DONE.

If I were in your shoes, I'd kinda feel like my SIL wants to find a "good deal" on a diamond that is really a crap cut (or whatever makes said diamond so inexpensive), and then have me reassure her of how great it is --- because I know diamonds.

But I could be wrong. LOL

 

[SimoneDi]

OMG. Reading how you're continually going out of your way to help your SIL and knowing her reaction has seriously made my heart rate go sky high! I couldn't handle it. Seriously, you're a saint. I would already be DONE.

If I were in your shoes, I'd kinda feel like my SIL wants to find a "good deal" on a diamond that is really a crap cut (or whatever makes said diamond so inexpensive), and then have me reassure her of how great it is --- because I know diamonds.

But I could be wrong. LOL

Your assessment is about 100% correct! She kinda "fired" me the other day lol after I shut some other "local" treasures. I just tried to explain that she won't find a deal at a local store, they just don't exist, especially not for people who don't know diamonds She indicated that she doesn't have the time to shift through online inventory to which I answered that I (we - PS folks) did that for her, but until she decides what she wants, I can't help her. She was looking at some pre-owned asscher and three stone rings...I can't select the shape for her or emphasize further how important it is to select a good diamond. Whyyyyyy people don't listen??

 

[HappyNewLife]

Your assessment is about 100% correct! She kinda "fired" me the other day lol after I shut some other "local" treasures. I just tried to explain that she won't find a deal at a local store, they just don't exist, especially not for people who don't know diamonds :roll She indicated that she doesn't have the time to shift through online inventory to which I answered that I (we - PS folks) did that for her, but until she decides what she wants, I can't help her. She was looking at some pre-owned asscher and three stone rings...I can't select the shape for her or emphasize further how important it is to select a good diamond. Whyyyyyy people don't listen??

probably because your SIL is like me - impulsive and impatient, haha. Luckily, PS has taught me a lot

 

[SimoneDi]

probably because your SIL is like me - impulsive and impatient, haha. Luckily, PS has taught me a lot

Probably But you seem to have made some awesome diamond selections...hm..especially your latest ACA one so I think it is safe to say that there are some differences between you two lol

 

[HappyNewLife]

Probably But you seem to have made some awesome diamond selections...hm..especially your latest ACA one so I think it is safe to say that there are some differences between you two lol

probably because I'm older, hence have made more dumb decisions and learned my lesson (I'm 42)

 

[SimoneDi]

probably because I'm older, hence have made more dumb decisions and learned my lesson (I'm 42)

Life experiences we call them, not "dumb decisions" well, she has the option to learn from other people's mistakes, but I guess sometimes people learn best through their own "life experiences"

 

[msop04]

Your assessment is about 100% correct! She kinda "fired" me the other day lol after I shut some other "local" treasures. I just tried to explain that she won't find a deal at a local store, they just don't exist, especially not for people who don't know diamonds She indicated that she doesn't have the time to shift through online inventory to which I answered that I (we - PS folks) did that for her, but until she decides what she wants, I can't help her. She was looking at some pre-owned asscher and three stone rings...I can't select the shape for her or emphasize further how important it is to select a good diamond. Whyyyyyy people don't listen??

That would literally make me crazy... probably a good thing she "fired" you. I guess it's just time to leave her alone to sort through all the local "treasures."

Just out of curiosity, have you given any thought as to what you'll say in the event she asks you about her stone?? ...because you know she's gonna!! (Hello??!! She wants to upgrade at some point, so I'm guessing she'll want to know "what she has" to get top dollar... at which point she'll really regret not listening to you... cue: "I told you so." )

I'd have a hard time censoring myself after all this, but you're clearly a nicer, more patient person than I am... HA!!