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Let it all hangout -- The Grumpies, whinies, complainies Get It Off Your Chest Thread....

MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
1,087
My latest gripe - my husband and I have scrimped and saved (no thanks to my jewelry habit) for a down payment on a house for a few years

We also aggressively paid of nearly six figures of student loans + medical debt in that time

We've made extraordinary sacrifices to do so, namely - we've lived in a teeny tiny 1 bedroom apartment with 3 cats and now a dog for 3.5yrs - all with the dream that one day, finally, we'd have our first modest house together

We are <6 months away from being able to enter the real estate market. But the market we are after is one of the hottest markets in the nation now. One of the reasons we picked it was due to affordability + amenities, but prices have increased 12.5% in the last year, and are projected to increase another ~10% this year. Rumors of people with full cash offers, bidding 10-40k over asking and getting denied....

Basically, we are getting priced out. And can't do anything about it. We can't compete with 2nd, 3rd time buyers with cash in hand or developers just swallowing up anything in sight.

I am gutted...and darn mad!

Congratulations on all your hard work on paying down student loans and medical debt, that is very impressive! Is there any way you can accelerate your timeline to enter the housing market to get in sooner with lower interest rates than later? I would also recommend writing a letter to accompany your offers as it may pull on some heart strings! Another thought is looking a bit more into the outskirts of the town you are looking in for more affordability. Sometimes it's best to pay a bit more now than chase the market up. But, know hot real estate markets can also quickly cool as well. I wouldn't worry too much about all cash offers, when I've sold my houses I always went for the highest offer with solid financing and low risk.
 

mom2dolls

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2015
Messages
239
My daughters decided they are moving in with their father. The girls are 20 & 18 and all the sudden think it is a fantastic idea to move in with him. Mind you he has no current home and has not had stability of home for years. But they are going to move into a rental he is getting and hope that he will be a stand up human after all these years. So after super gluing my heart back together, I am just pissed.
 

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,854
Congratulations on all your hard work on paying down student loans and medical debt, that is very impressive! Is there any way you can accelerate your timeline to enter the housing market to get in sooner with lower interest rates than later? I would also recommend writing a letter to accompany your offers as it may pull on some heart strings! Another thought is looking a bit more into the outskirts of the town you are looking in for more affordability. Sometimes it's best to pay a bit more now than chase the market up. But, know hot real estate markets can also quickly cool as well. I wouldn't worry too much about all cash offers, when I've sold my houses I always went for the highest offer with solid financing and low risk.

I appreciate it. Basically, we don’t have enough for a down payment yet, but will in the next 3-4 months at the earliest but we will likely have to pounce then and cut savings short...we are *so* close, but they way we built out our plan meant that debt pay off was front-loaded, savings came last so we were not encumbered by huge amounts of interest on debt/had a more tempting profile for lenders. Our timing was just...off.

I do really appreciate the reassurance and insight. We are thinking long and hard about whether we’d sacrifice location, size, etc. we may end up with a condo, which wasn’t our dream, but location is more important for us.

We are also hoping, with summer coming, it’ll “cool off” so to speak...summer is actually this market’s off season because it is so darn hot it scares away many casual shoppers / snowbirds. Fingers crossed we won’t be too late!
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,759
Rewilding !
Its a real thing !
In the UK you can get little plaues to tell your neighbours that's what your doing

Anyway that's why we don't cut the grass
NZers cut the grass way too short any way, its bad for the grass and encourags weeds and thatch which make for an unhealthy lawn
the lawn is one thing i can change to contribute to a more healthy environment

also our grass although long and gone to seed is still the greenest in the street !

and most importantly we have sooooooo many little birds in the garden eatting the grass seeds

Gary's sister is on the phone trying to boss him (and me) around and the lawn has come up
quite frankly its none of her f...ing bussiness and the more people go on abiut it the more we will never cut it
no ! Its not a fire risk and no we don't have a garden full of rats and mice

You know she laughed at me a few years ago because i buy Bruce Springsteen on vinyl

Then the vinyl revivial hit and a fashionable trendy freind of her's bought a record player and she thought it was a great thing and she got her husband a new record player
But you know Nicky is old fashioned and doesn't know anything about anything :(2 :angryfire: :wall:
 

kipari

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 9, 2015
Messages
2,960
LOL I wish! It sounds like a dream. Do you have a pic?

Sorry, the listing wasn't available anymore after the auction.I was made of five diamond encrusted daisies and embellished with natural pearls...... I searched and searched because I didn't think of saving the pics... I'm mist mad about my own Hybris thinking ai might have been the only one to spy that treasure...lol
 

MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
1,087
I appreciate it. Basically, we don’t have enough for a down payment yet, but will in the next 3-4 months at the earliest but we will likely have to pounce then and cut savings short...we are *so* close, but they way we built out our plan meant that debt pay off was front-loaded, savings came last so we were not encumbered by huge amounts of interest on debt/had a more tempting profile for lenders. Our timing was just...off.

I do really appreciate the reassurance and insight. We are thinking long and hard about whether we’d sacrifice location, size, etc. we may end up with a condo, which wasn’t our dream, but location is more important for us.

We are also hoping, with summer coming, it’ll “cool off” so to speak...summer is actually this market’s off season because it is so darn hot it scares away many casual shoppers / snowbirds. Fingers crossed we won’t be too late!

Just a few more thoughts. As a first time homebuyer there are options for lower down payment amounts. If you really want to get creative, you can do 10% down plus a HELOC (home equity line of credit) to get to the 20% (you'll have an additional payment until you pay back the HELOC), take out a 401K loan that you pay back to yourself (the payments are quite high though), and I think first time home buyers can even only put 3.5% down (there will be an extra PMI insurance fee to pay though).

Financially, it's best to put 20% down, as there are incremental costs associated with putting less down, but it is possible. You'll just have to do the math to see if it's worth it.

Also in a rising market, if you buy a condo or townhouse, it might appreciate enough in a few years to give you a larger down payment for a house. Single family homes typically have the greatest appreciation though.

I would advise shopping around for the best interest rate and having lenders match. Best of luck!
 

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,854
Just a few more thoughts. As a first time homebuyer there are options for lower down payment amounts. If you really want to get creative, you can do 10% down plus a HELOC (home equity line of credit) to get to the 20% (you'll have an additional payment until you pay back the HELOC), take out a 401K loan that you pay back to yourself (the payments are quite high though), and I think first time home buyers can even only put 3.5% down (there will be an extra PMI insurance fee to pay though).

Financially, it's best to put 20% down, as there are incremental costs associated with putting less down, but it is possible. You'll just have to do the math to see if it's worth it.

Also in a rising market, if you buy a condo or townhouse, it might appreciate enough in a few years to give you a larger down payment for a house. Single family homes typically have the greatest appreciation though.

I would advise shopping around for the best interest rate and having lenders match. Best of luck!

I really really appreciate these details from someone with more experience under their belt - I have never heard of a HELOC before - so we will definitely look into that. Information out there is so convoluted and confusing...so appreciate your thoughts!!! We are scrabbling to pull together 10% - but maybe a credit line will be a good option for us. THANK YOU
 

Austina

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 24, 2017
Messages
5,351
I don’t know where you’re based @Cerulean but we’ve been looking at houses that have gone for $100,000 over asking. We’re buying a little further out, a new build that’s a fixed price contract. It’s easier for us because we don’t have to worry about school districts or being near to work.
 

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,854
I don’t know where you’re based @Cerulean but we’ve been looking at houses that have gone for $100,000 over asking. We’re buying a little further out, a new build that’s a fixed price contract. It’s easier for us because we don’t have to worry about school districts or being near to work.

Luckily, I don't think the market is quite that aggressive (yet) - but we may need to explore a new build as a last case option...hopefully we aren't there yet. This market used to be competitive, but never as crazy compared to, let's say, anywhere in California. It's just much more competitive when measured against itself. 10-40k over asking is typical, but not 100
 

JPie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
3,814
Sorry, the listing wasn't available anymore after the auction.I was made of five diamond encrusted daisies and embellished with natural pearls...... I searched and searched because I didn't think of saving the pics... I'm mist mad about my own Hybris thinking ai might have been the only one to spy that treasure...lol

That sounds beautiful. Here’s hoping it went to a loving home!
 

Matata

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 10, 2003
Messages
7,728
Whaaaaaat the *uuuuuuuuuuuuck is happening to us?

Voter suppression
Mass shootings restarting
Asian hate
Black hate
LGBTQ hate -- Alabama is one of 20 states considering banning gender affirming medical care for trans youth. Whaaaaaat the *uuuuuuuuuuuuck
Religious hate
Clan hate
Class hate
Tribal hate
Misogyny
Hate it, cancel it. Cancel culture is disguised suppression
Hate hate and more hate
Humanity is in decline.
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,964
My daughters decided they are moving in with their father. The girls are 20 & 18 and all the sudden think it is a fantastic idea to move in with him. Mind you he has no current home and has not had stability of home for years. But they are going to move into a rental he is getting and hope that he will be a stand up human after all these years. So after super gluing my heart back together, I am just pissed.

Are your daughters back yet?
 

seaurchin

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
1,964
Luckily, I don't think the market is quite that aggressive (yet) - but we may need to explore a new build as a last case option...hopefully we aren't there yet. This market used to be competitive, but never as crazy compared to, let's say, anywhere in California. It's just much more competitive when measured against itself. 10-40k over asking is typical, but not 100

This caught my eye because I'm at the other end of it. Kids raised, retired, and was happy to unload the house that seemed so important at the time.

JMHO of course but from this perspective, I'd be tempted to get the condo, enjoy a more leisurely pace of life and try again for a house in a few years. Stretching the budget to the breaking point and other associated stress is a lot and takes a toll too. Good luck with it. :)
 

Cerulean

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
1,854
This caught my eye because I'm at the other end of it. Kids raised, retired, and was happy to unload the house that seemed so important at the time.

JMHO of course but from this perspective, I'd be tempted to get the condo, enjoy a more leisurely pace of life and try again for a house in a few years. Stretching the budget to the breaking point and other associated stress is a lot and takes a toll too. Good luck with it. :)

Appreciate it very much! Same to you! I think we will probably rent for a year to wait for the market to die down...we don’t want to buy something for more than it’s worth
 

mom2dolls

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 3, 2015
Messages
239
Are your daughters back yet?

They actually never left! He has blown it off with delay after delay stringing them along. They both have had their rooms packed for weeks now waiting for a move in date. My oldest is barely speaking to me, pleasant enough to get by. I told my husband they are the little girls sitting on the stoop with their suitcase waiting for dad to show all day. When you tell them they should come in for dinner, they have a temper fit saying if they come in they will miss him. He is coming! :(
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
2,497
Worksafe has found that being struck by a several hundred pound fire door is unlikely to have herniated my discs and has refused to reopen my claim. So no treatment, or help with expenses. Now I appeal. Get ready ***holes, I'm not going away quietly. Now I know why their office has such tight security. Just sayin'.
 

Slick1

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 3, 2013
Messages
3,126
Worksafe has found that being struck by a several hundred pound fire door is unlikely to have herniated my discs and has refused to reopen my claim. So no treatment, or help with expenses. Now I appeal. Get ready ***holes, I'm not going away quietly. Now I know why their office has such tight security. Just sayin'.

I’m sorry! Appeal appeal appeal. The squeaky wheel and all. They hope you’ll go away. After two appeals I think they need to lawyer up. Not sure if that’s true though....

@mom2dolls I’m sorry about your daughters. I hope they soon realize how much they will miss you and how unreliable dad is. ((Hugs))
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 22, 2004
Messages
37,862
2 months of excruciating shoulder pain and limited motion to the point i can barely lift my left arm. A full month of physical therapy and Meloxicam helped in the beginning but seems to have hit a hard stop in improvement. Still no idea what's going on nor how to treat but my PT team have given up. Going to X-ray today. Pain is so bad it wakes me up at night and keeps me up in spite of the Meloxicam.
 

HollyJane

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 7, 2020
Messages
180
Mower is broken, tractor needs a new battery, driveway wrecked by the cement truck, my vehicle is still making a mystery noise nobody can figure out, I damaged the right front panel of my vehicle, plus a bunch of work aggravations...
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
8,060
Difficult conversations with my SIL today (DH’s sister). She admitted to being in fights with everyone lately because she likes to “challenge people”. I assume she means to make them better people.

Who has time for this right now? Yes, please challenge me to be a better person during a pandemic because that should be my priority, not the kids or anything else.

Add to that her memory is long where mine fails, our conversations start off well and become unpleasant. Then she wonders why I don’t call.
 

OreoRosies86

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
3,324
I got harassed for the THIRD time today about my wearing a mask, this time by a super intelligent older gentleman smoking a cigarette at the gas station. I’m really starting to just hate people.
 

MamaBee

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
9,942
They actually never left! He has blown it off with delay after delay stringing them along. They both have had their rooms packed for weeks now waiting for a move in date. My oldest is barely speaking to me, pleasant enough to get by. I told my husband they are the little girls sitting on the stoop with their suitcase waiting for dad to show all day. When you tell them they should come in for dinner, they have a temper fit saying if they come in they will miss him. He is coming! :(

That’s so sad @mom2dolls...I hope they realize they are better off with you.
 

Gabbycat

Shiny_Rock
Premium
Joined
Nov 6, 2011
Messages
277
I am sick of mail delivery not doing their job. I am waiting on a jewelry delivery. Both my husband and I are working from home, so there is no way we would miss a delivery. Instead of taking the 60 seconds to buzz our condo unit and wait for us to come down to sign, the mail person marked it that they attempted to deliver but couldn't, and the customer requested that the package be held at the office. Neither the seller nor we requested this, so they lied. Now I will have to wait another day until I can go to the office. This is not the first time this happened, and it's getting old. First world problems, I know. It's still irritating.
 

JPie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
3,814
I am sick of mail delivery not doing their job. I am waiting on a jewelry delivery. Both my husband and I are working from home, so there is no way we would miss a delivery. Instead of taking the 60 seconds to buzz our condo unit and wait for us to come down to sign, the mail person marked it that they attempted to deliver but couldn't, and the customer requested that the package be held at the office. Neither the seller nor we requested this, so they lied. Now I will have to wait another day until I can go to the office. This is not the first time this happened, and it's getting old. First world problems, I know. It's still irritating.

There’s a complaint form on the USPS site somewhere. I’ve filled it out before, and someone actually responded. More importantly, it got the mail carrier to stop doing that.
 

MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
1,087
I feel broken as a result of over a year of strict COVID isolation. I am frustrated at people who don't take COVID and precautions seriously. Can't control other people, but their actions impact my quality of life. Talking with my therapist doesn't really help, gratitude only goes so far.
 

lulu_ma

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
962
I have kept my kindergartener home this year so that we could continue to see my parents, sister, BIL and nephew (they are in the same household). I wanted to see my cancer survivor parents and for my nephew to have a learning pod.

On the day that my BIL was scheduled for his 1st Covid vaccine, he found out that he has cancer for the 4th time in 5 years. My nephew is only 6 and my sister is significantly younger than I am. I am scared so them.
 
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MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
1,087
@lulu_ma I'm sorry to hear about your BIL. Hopefully since he has beat cancer 4x, he can kick cancer's @$$ for the 5th time! Sending positive thoughts your way!
 

lulu_ma

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
962
Thank you @MRBXXXFVVS1 ! I feels good to just get it off my chest. My BIL getting his vaccine felt like the light at the end of the tunnel but then the other shoe dropped.

And I was just thinking about you yesterday. I hope you can see your parents soon!
 
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