Interracial relationships?

[lmurden]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:09:25 PM
Author: sunkist
I wish I had time to respond here now, unfortunately I have to work, so maybe later. But Albi when I read your posts in this thread it sounds almost exactly like my story!!

Now I''m curious about another question. My BF is Chinese, with of course dark coloring, and I am white, with blond curly hair and blue eyes. I am so curious as to what our children will look like!! Whenever I see Asian/White couples I stare at their kids and try to get peaks of their babies!

Does anyone else w/o kids, or even before you had kids, do this??

My friend is from Singapore and the father of her child is what with brown hair and brown eyes so their kids have dark brown eyes and very dark hair but you can definitely see the Asian but they still look half White and Asian to me.

 

[ammayernyc]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:08:44 PM
Author: rainbowtrout

Date: 1/19/2006 3:58:10 PM
Author: AmandaPanda

Date: 1/19/2006 3:44:37 PM



FYI -- you don''t fast at Pesach.

That''s when don''t eat levened bread and have a huge feast!

I am Jewish and my bf is half, but doesn''t really relate to any religion. I personally would be extremely upset if we had a Christmas Tree. The way I feel is that if you walk outside, it''s Christmas, Christmas, Christmas (which is very nice, don''t get me wrong), so my house should reflect my religion. No tree. No Chanukkah bush.

You might want to got to a synagogue and see a Rabbi about converting, even if you''re not going to do it. He/she might have some interesting things to say.

Yo. I know you don''t *fast* at Pesach, but we call it fasting in his family bc of the no bread. I have actually been doing this stuff for about a decade.

I''m not even going to get into the Tree Debate with ya! I do that every year with the boy. Personally I understand both sides of the issue, but I still want my tree, HaShem be damned.

Got ya! I consider it fasting myself too... love my bread.

I have to tell my boyfriend every year that I''m not going to be eating on the ''Big Kipper'' as he calls it.

I didn''t mean to imply that I wanted to get into the ''tree issue.'' It''s all very personal, I was just stating my feelings. One of my best friends'' family has a huge tree with real candles and a huge Christmas celebration -- but she is Jewish and so is every member of her family. It''s all what you''re comfortable with.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:12:04 PM
Author: AmandaPanda

Date: 1/19/2006 4:04:20 PM

Author: lmurden

Date: 1/19/2006 3:58:10 PM

Author: AmandaPanda

Date: 1/19/2006 3:44:37 PM
>

FYI -- you don''t fast at Pesach.

That''s when don''t eat levened bread and have a huge feast!



You might want to got to a synagogue and see a Rabbi about converting, even if you''re not going to do it. He/she might have some interesting things to say.

Why should she convert? What''s wrong with her the way she is? She has already made a compromise by agreeing to raise the kids Jewish so what more do you want?

Whoa there! You are taking what I said wrong...


Rainbow said she was thinking about converting, so I just suggested that she talk to a Rabbi about it. I''m not saying she should.

Yeah well....I will talk to a rabbi when we have to deal with getting married in a year or two. I must say I do feel as if I should get to keep a bit of my only tradition though; at the same time I can see how having a tree in the house would upset him. We also have to be very careful talking about Isreal or Jewish issues in the media---when you are a minority you get prickly. I get prickly about women''s issues, he does about Jewish ones.


Re: Passover. I am curious if you will eat rice? I have talked to some Sephardim who will eat it, and I always want to make rice cakes but the boy is Askenazim so he stamps his foot and gripes. I argue midrash with him but it doesnt help bc what you grew up with is more forceful than all the rabbinical arguements in the world most of the time.

 

[rainbowtrout]

gah! I cannot make it un-blue highlight my text.

oh well.

 

[miyabi_na]

EDIT: forgot the quote box...can't go back and redo it so I'll just paste the post I'm replying to below so people don't get confused!

Date: 1/19/2006 4:09:25 PM
Author: sunkist
I wish I had time to respond here now, unfortunately I have to work, so maybe later. But Albi when I read your posts in this thread it sounds almost exactly like my story!!

Now I'm curious about another question. My BF is Chinese, with of course dark coloring, and I am white, with blond curly hair and blue eyes. I am so curious as to what our children will look like!! Whenever I see Asian/White couples I stare at their kids and try to get peaks of their babies! Does anyone else w/o kids, or even before you had kids, do this??


My boyfriend's mother remarried to an American man many years ago and they had a baby girl. She's the most adorable and SPOILED thing EVER.

As far as looks....she's dropdead gorgeous and we all just KNOW she's going to be a heartbreaker when she gets older (hello...she's still a toddler and she talks of her boyfriend at preschool all the time....LOL

)
She has her mom's Asian face shape and facial expressions, but the palest skin (not even really a yellowish tint like most mixed children get), light brown hair and blue/hazel/green, slightly wider eyes.

Cute as a button!

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:09:25 PM
Author: sunkist
I wish I had time to respond here now, unfortunately I have to work, so maybe later. But Albi when I read your posts in this thread it sounds almost exactly like my story!!

Now I''m curious about another question. My BF is Chinese, with of course dark coloring, and I am white, with blond curly hair and blue eyes. I am so curious as to what our children will look like!! Whenever I see Asian/White couples I stare at their kids and try to get peaks of their babies!

Does anyone else w/o kids, or even before you had kids, do this??

haha, I do this ALL THE TIME! And point babies out to him, because there do seem to be quite a lot (in NYC). For the most part, I think half-Chinese half-white babies are sooooooo cute, so I''m totally excited about the prospect of seeing how ours turn out!

In fact, some of my friends joke with me that the only reason I''m with him is because I want the pretty mixed race babies...but I swear they really are so cute!!!

(But, um, that''s not the only reason!

)

And what in particular in my story reminds you of yours? Tell tell!

 

[sunkist]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:23:02 PM
Author: miyabi_na
She has her mom''s Asian face shape and facial expressions, but the palest skin (not even really a yellowish tint like most mixed children get), light brown hair and blue/hazel/green, slightly wider eyes.


Cute as a button!

Really? She has blue/hazel/ green eyes?! That''s so cool! She does sound adorable. I love how exotic mixed race babies look

Heehee! I''m so glad everyone else does this too!!

 

[ammayernyc]

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Re: Passover. I am curious if you will eat rice? I have talked to some Sephardim who will eat it, and I always want to make rice cakes but the boy is Askenazim so he stamps his foot and gripes. I argue midrash with him but it doesnt help bc what you grew up with is more forceful than all the rabbinical arguements in the world most of the time.

I can''t seem to make the purple window smaller!

I usually don''t eat rice during Passover... but not always... Jewish guilt.

Although I have in the past. Most of my family is not observant so I guess I''ve gone against the grain a little bit. One of my uncles (he''s Israeli) told me once (in jest) that it was okay to have regular cake during Passover if my birthday fell within it.

 

[lmurden]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:12:04 PM
Author: AmandaPanda

Date: 1/19/2006 4:04:20 PM
Author: lmurden

Date: 1/19/2006 3:58:10 PM
Author: AmandaPanda

Date: 1/19/2006 3:44:37 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
oh, I forgot.

Our single biggest issue is whether or not he can deal with me celebrating Christmas every year...


He has very big issues with the holiday, partly from growing up Jewish in Alabama. I was always raised with it as a secular family holiday, but it still hurts not to to anything on Dec 25. I''ve talked him into a tree but he still feels resentful about the whole idea of Christmas in his home. I said that if I was basically doing every single Jewish holiday, fasting at Pesach, then what was a christmas tree and a secular holiday with perhaps a brunch and one gift?

We''ll see, I am sure after a few years we will blend the holiday tradition into something that works for us.

FYI -- you don''t fast at Pesach.

That''s when don''t eat levened bread and have a huge feast!

I am Jewish and my bf is half, but doesn''t really relate to any religion. I personally would be extremely upset if we had a Christmas Tree. The way I feel is that if you walk outside, it''s Christmas, Christmas, Christmas (which is very nice, don''t get me wrong), so my house should reflect my religion. No tree. No Chanukkah bush.

You might want to got to a synagogue and see a Rabbi about converting, even if you''re not going to do it. He/she might have some interesting things to say.

Why should she convert? What''s wrong with her the way she is? She has already made a compromise by agreeing to raise the kids Jewish so what more do you want?

Whoa there! You are taking what I said wrong...

Rainbow said she was thinking about converting, so I just suggested that she talk to a Rabbi about it. I''m not saying she should.

Sorry.

 

[kaylagee]

I'm American(mix of African, Native, Irish and German) and dh is French(French European with some distant Asian ancestry on his mom's side) Visually we're 'black'(medium brown) and 'white'(pale beige).

Except for the occasional odd look(when in California but not much notice in Paris), color hasn't been a huge/hue thing. Religion has been the larger issue...I'm Jewish and he's converted to Islam from Catholicism a few years ago. Neither of us are really practicing though I still have dreams of his converting to Judaism. LOL. At first, his mom blamed *me* for his conversion to islam. Wrong!


I want to write more but my older son is going bonkers here.

Oh yeh, really quick re: mixie kids

Yes, Most of them are insanely gorgeous. I guess that's the reward for the trouble that the parents occasionally go through. LOL! Sometimes my children attract more attention than I'm comfortable with...makes me nervous about ayin hara/evil eye..general weirdos etc.

 

[kaylagee]

''hue'' was supposed to be typed ''huge''

 

[lisaC]

From my own experience as half white half caucasian- as babies we looked really chinese, as toddlers definitely mixed looking with light brown hair and as adults we''re more chinese looking though next to a chinese person you can tell something is different...
I''ve always wondered what my mother thought when she first saw us. When I first saw my sons I was amazed at how asian they looked being three- quarters. They all had light brown hair that has darkened over the years but they are different hues- golden yellow, brown and pink. The last had slate grey eyes for the first 5 months.
My sister is married to an afrikaner and her first born had blonde curls and greenish hazel eyes. (my mother has green eyes) And yes I too loved looking at mixed children.
Lisa.

 

[allycat0303]

I like this thread! It''s really cool to hear everyone''s stories.

Well I''m Viet from a very, very, very traditional Viet family. My boyfriend is white (Quebecois) his relatives were original settlers from France to Canada.

At first my parents hated him. But after about 7 years of dating him, they realized he was a good guy, and now they adore him, which is terrific.

I''m from Montreal, which is pretty multicultural (Nytemist looks like you''ve been here a couple of times) I''ve mentioned this before, but the only issues I''ve had are asian people giving me "you''re a dirty girl" look, and telling me the usual sterotypes...a) only ugly asian girls date white guys because they can''t get asian boys b) I''m dating him for my green card etc.,

Also occasionally when I go into a clothing store, the Caucasion sales girls will check my boyfriend out and then look at me with this " why is he with her" look, not everyone thinks asian girls are pretty, or they think all asian girls look the same, so it''s a bit annoying. And gets my confidence down a bit, but I''m ok with it. It''s something I''m probably going to have to live with for the rest of my life.

 

[Sparkster]

I''m an Australian born Chinese (first generation). My FI is English and migrated to Australia when he was 8.

I''m very Australian. So much so that my friends call me ''banana'' - yellow on the outside, white on the inside. Everyone out there, please don''t take offence at this - it''s typical Aussie humour! And I''d be the first to admit that I''m as Chinense as Lemon Chicken!!

Mum is 73 years old is verrrry traditional. She has mellowed a lot over the past few years. If I had come home with a non Chinese boyfriend 10 years ago, I would have been disowned. Now she doesn''t really care. She feels there''s not much time left in her life now and just wants to see us happy, no matter who we are with. My father passed away 20 years ago and I don''t know how he would have felt about it.

MY future F-I-L is okay with it all. He is also 73 and in a new relationship and is lost in his own little world. We think it''s great that he''s found love again. My FI''s mum has passed away, and I never met her.

There aren''t a lot of cross cultural clashes in our relationship because I''m so Australian. There are so many mixed couples out there that no one bats an eyelid when we are out.

My brother and sister don''t care that FI is Anglo. They all love him. All our friends and family are accepting of other races and cultures so it wouldn''t matter to us if any of our family or friends ended up with someone with a person whose culture was completely different. All my family and friends care about is the fact that my FI is a good man who is wonderful to me.

 

[Mara]

lol KaylaGee re the ''pale beige''...I don''t know what it is but I think sometimes that people who are in mixed race relationships are able to be more frank about stuff like that? And it seems alot of times people who are outside of the relationship don''t always get that kind of frank humor or similar.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 1/19/2006 4:24:10 PM
Author: albicocca

And what in particular in my story reminds you of yours? Tell tell!

OK 30 more minutes of PS and then I''ll get to work!! (This is soo adictive

) Albi I think the easier question would be what in your story doesn''t remind me of mine!

I''m white and my sweet BF is Chinese, 1st generation born here. We met in college through friends on our dorm hall, and now our little group of friends include his old HS buddies! Difference of race was never an issue with us as we''ve been dating - we just see each other as who we are. And the fact that we look different from eachother, well that''s just who HE is and what makes him so beautiful to me! When we first started dating there was a group of Asain girls on our hall who must have all had crushes on him and when they were alone with me one time they told me that us as a couple just would never work! I couldn''t believe they said that! It hurt me a little and I cried until my BF came back and told me not to listen to them. I was a lot younger then (6 years ago

) but since then no one has ever said anything about our mixed-race relationship, except us or our friends in a fun joking way

About our families? Albi, your relationship with your fiance''s mom sounds sooo similar to my relationship with BF''s mom!! He is very close with my parents and my family because they have lot to talk about. But with me and his parents, they speak in Chinese most of the time so I have no idea what''s going on!! Of course after having listened to countless Chinese conversations, I can sometimes pick up on what their talking about. My BF tells me that lots of times his mom is talking about me! She''ll ask him questions in Chinese about me while I''m standing right there. Why can''t she just ask me directly?? I know she likes me very much, but when she does speak to me in English I still have a hard time understanding her. So we don''t communicate that well and therefore aren''t that close. His dad likes me a lot too, and he speaks in English more often when I''m around.

Funny story about when my BF was growing up! His mom wanted him to marry another Asian girl and told him," If you marry a white girl she''ll only cook spaghetti and grilled cheese sandwhichs for you every night! So marry an Asian girl!" Little did she know that as a little boy he was thinking -"Sweet! Grilled cheese! No more Asian food!" Hahahha

Sadly, I''m not engaged YET, but when I do start planning a wedding it will be of mainly western tradition. I do think I want to decorate with Chinese lanterns though and maybe have red as one of my colors. Probably have some kind of Asian food too. My BF has mentioned several times that his parents will want to have some sort of a banquet or dinner. He is their only son (only child actually) and so I want them to be happy and a part of the wedding.

I also plan on changing my last name, and I''m really looking forward to it! My last name now is Smith and I''ve always looked forward to having a more uncommon last name. The only funny thing with his last name my initials when I''m married will be, H.E.L. Hell!!

I think it''s kind of funny. I just won''t ever get anything monogrammed

Oh, and how about going to Asian restaurants! I live in Irvine, CA and in most everyday life he is the only or one a few Asians around. But not when we go out to Chinese food! It''s so wierd to look around and be the only white girl in the room! And when the waiters see me they automatically bring me a glass of ice water and a fork and knife

Too bad a use chopsticks just as well as everyone else in the room. My BF is very proud of me, and claims he taught me well. In actuallity I learned when I was young

...

And then as I posted before, we''re always checking out Asian/White babies. I could eat them up!!!

Awww, so I love being a mixed-race couple even though I never think of us as that - it''s just US!

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 1/19/2006 1:18:13 PM
Author: miyabi_na

Albi: Your plans sound just amazing. I hope you post pictures! I read through your engagement posts the other day and your story made me smile. Your fiance really looks like a happy guy! (even though you say he had a dorky look on his face- but who could blame him? It''s the day he proposed to the woman he loves! hehe)

Congratulations to both of you by the way!

As for your name issue- you can go with his last name or hyphenate your last names together like many couples do. (unless you have too many middle names (like I do!) and it would make your whole name too long! LoL)

I don''t think many people in this day and age should have a problem with it- so many people have so many different names that it''s sometimes really hard to tell who''s what anyway. Might even spark some interesting conversations with people!


Does he have contact with any family in China still? Have your or are you going to go over there sometime? That would be some trip!

Hehe, oh I will post more pictures than you''ll know what to do with, don''t worry!

And thanks for your congratulations! He doesn''t look that goofy in general, I promise!

I posted at length on the name issue in the "Are you changing your name" thread from a while back...basically I am planning to keep my current middle and last names and just add his (no hyphen) so I''ll have 4. That way I can either say my maiden name or not depending on if I feel like it, and I don''t have to drop my middle name (which is my mother''s maiden name) which I actually care more about than my existing last name! So I think that will work.... I just hope I don''t get people being nosy and asking rude questions. I don''t know why I''m worried about that since no one''s ever bugged us about being in an interracial relationship to begin with, so I agree, most people will probably just shrug it off without much notice.

As for going to China - OHHHH this makes me mad!

My brother actually majored in Chinese in college (way before I met my fiance) and lived there for a year when I was in high school. He left college about a semester short of graduating (5 or 6 years ago), and decided to go back to school recently, so he needed to refresh his Chinese (Mandarin, which is not what my fiance''s family speaks unfortunately), so my parents decided to go with him last summer!!! Just because they had always intended to visit him when he was living there but they didn''t. So my parents and my (only) brother spent 3 weeks in China last June. Then, in August, my fiance''s parents, grandfather and only brother, ALSO went to China!! To visit his extended family (all his close family moved to the US, so he doesn''t remember any of his China relatives from living there as a kid). So everyone in BOTH of our nuclear families went to China last summer. AND THEN. My fiance got called from work in September (he''s a consultant) saying he had to be in Shanghai in FOUR DAYS!!! For 3 and a half weeks. So he had to go do that, which was his first time back in China since he was six. And this was after I had been complaining to him all summer how it wasn''t fair that ALL of our families got to go but we didn''t, and he was like eh whatever, we''ll go sometime. So basically everyone I know has been to China recently, but I still haven''t.

But my fiance had a really tough time because he only speaks Cantonese and no one in Shanghai does, so everyone just thought he was dumb since he was obviously Chinese but couldn''t read or write. So he is not too eager to head back over there any time soon.... BAH!

 

[moon river]

My ex-husband is 1/2 black and1/2 white and I am white. Our kids are really light skinned. Most of his family have''light eyes'' ie hazel, blue. Our oldest is darker w/brown hair and brown eyes. She looks like she has a sublte tan. Our youngest has red hair and blue eyes. She''s as white as snow with freckles. She says she doesn''t have the ''tint'' that mosted biracial kids have. If it weren''t for her hair and a couple of her features she would appear white. People that are around biracial kids can tell, but most people don''t know. It drives her nuts. Both my girls have the same father and look so differant from each other.
BTW-we live in the south and we have a harder time here than anywhere else.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 1/19/2006 5:16:03 PM
Author: sunkist

Date: 1/19/2006 4:24:10 PM

Author: albicocca

And what in particular in my story reminds you of yours? Tell tell!

I think the easier question would be what in your story doesn''t remind me of mine!

Hehe, WOW that DOES sound similar!! My fiance''s family will do the same thing of talking about me when I''m right there and I''m like "what are they saying?" and it''s always something like "Her cheeks are looking chubbier than they did before" that I don''t even know how to react to. He says that was a compliment? That''s when I smile awkardly and go "Okay!"

And that''s so funny about the spaghetti & grilled cheese!!! The main interaction I have with his mom is ALWAYS about food! She gives us tons and tons and tons of food every time we go over there (leftovers from dinner, buns/dumplings/pastries she bought, and SO MUCH FRUIT), and so most of the conversation is, "You want some of this? Did you like this last time? How many apples do you want?" And then afterwards we go through them and she tells me how to heat everything up. "This one just goes in the steamer for a few minutes. This one you have to sautee on the stove." It''s funny.

But I don''t have the heart to tell her that I KNOW HOW TO HEAT UP LEFTOVERS!! Hehehe.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 1/19/2006 5:29:32 PM
Author: albicocca

Date: 1/19/2006 5:16:03 PM

But I don''t have the heart to tell her that I KNOW HOW TO HEAT UP LEFTOVERS!! Hehehe.

Hahaha! Albi that is soo funny

My BF''s mom is always surprised when he tells her I cooked something. "You cooked that??! Woow!" Like I don''t know how to cook

 

[jaysonsmom]

My husband''s family is 100% Korean, and they all married/dated outside of their own race/culture.

-Eldest sister is not married, but is currently dating a puerto-rican of african descent
-Second sister is married to a Mexican man, and has a beautiful daughter that looks more Asian
-My husband is married to me (Chinese/Japanese/Dutch)....we are the closest to the same "race" I guess, but I''m much fairer than him, and I have more of a caucasian build. My son takes after my husband, and looks 100% Asian, and my daughter like me looks more mixed when standing next to 100% Asians.
-Youngest sister is married to a Swiss guy, totally european, didn''t come here until grad school. I can''t wait to see what their kids will look like.

When we get together as a family, we have typical american gatherings, but the food is just more cultural, and yummier! As for the weddings, we all went with the standard american wedding...church and reception, no cultural ceremonies or dresses.

 

[SeattleSparkle]

Wow, so many of out there aren''t there?

Well, my bf and I met when we were in college at the University of Washington in Seattle. He is 1st generation Vietnamese and I am a American Caucausian mutt.

His family has taken awhile to warm up to me, but I feel like they are okay with me now. However, I do feel a lot of pressure to learn Vietnamese (more than just saying hello, please and thank you) - which for an english speaker, is extremely difficult!!

My family hasn''t been quite as accepting - seeing that they are very conservative Lutherans and his family is mostly Buddhist. My boyfriend however is pretty indifferent, and I am Christian and attend a Presbyterian church.

From the almost 5 years we''ve been dating, I''ve learned a lot about Vietnamese culture and some Buddhist traditions. Unfortunately, my most recent examples have been two funerals. One for his grandfather and one for his uncle.

I love learning about his family but I am definitely nervous how our cultural differences will play out. I do know that we love each other deeply and that when topics of discussion come up, we''ll work em out ... as we have for the past 5 years.

 

[princessv]

I was born and lived in Singapore till I was 8 so I''m 100% Chinese. My fiance on the other hand was born in a small and I mean small, Louisana town. He moved when around with his mother when his parents divorced and ended up in the Charlotte area, but then his father''s side of the family has a second generation rodeo company and my fiance moved back to live with that side of the family when he was 18. I met him when he was visiting his mother about 2 years ago.

Anyway, so this past summer, I moved from Michigan where I was attending law school to live with him for the summer in that small, little Louisiana town which was about 45 minutes from Baton Rouge. I guess I am pretty oblivious to the interracial relationships aspect as my mother is married to a white, old school Democrat who pretty much raised me so I have always called him Daddy. My mother''s sister is married to an Australian and my mother''s younger brother is married to another white Louisianian (?). My brother is also married to a white lady from the North, though. Back in Singapore, being a British settled colony and now 75% Asian, interracial relationships were never a big deal. In fact, it was never a big deal until I moved to this little Louisiana town.

Fortunately, my fiance''s parents (his dad''s side and mom''s side) have no problem with me being of a different race and culture. However, in that little town this summer, whenever I stepped outside I''d get really strong looks and it was even worse when he was with me and sometimes I''d hear whispering which was obviously, about me. It was probably one of the most uncomfortable feelings in my life.

On my fiance''s side, its pretty funny that he has to endure my mother sometimes. She''s very well spoken in English, so fortunately (or unfortunately sometimes hehe) they have no language barrier and being the Asian mother type, she lets him know exactly what she thinks. The poor guy sits there, grins and bears it. Don''t get me wrong she loves him too but she definitely has a tendency to nag him, although no where close to what she does to me! My fiance loves it at family gatherings now though as he feels like my brother''s wife and him are allies.

 

[Sparkster]

My Eglish FI loves some of the traditional chinese customs - especially Chinese New Year and the receiving of red packets containing money. He jokes that we should stay engaged forever because once we''re married, we''ll have to start giving them out.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/19/2006 11:25:03 AM
Author: albicocca

As for our wedding, we're going to have the ceremony be almost entirely western, and then have a separate Chinese wedding banquet a couple weeks later. That way the wedding proper (which isn't that important in Chinese culture) will be the way I always dreamed of it, but we can still follow all of the Chinese traditions for the banquet. I'm pretty happy with the way it looks like that's going to turn out.... (it's not till June 2007) We'll try to incorporate a few little twists from each into the other though, so it's not TOO black & white for which is which - I want both of our families to equally enjoy both events. May be wishful thinking, but that's my plan!

but....who's going to pay for the wedding?

western tradition.....bride's side of the family pays for everything.
chinese tradition......groom's side of the family pays for everything.

i'am chinese.i got 2 daughters so.....what's the rule?

if they marry an american.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/19/2006 12:57:58 PM
Author: CdnBlingGal
I''m Chinese and my Dh is Caucasian.

He''s learnt how to speak in Chinese on his own so he''s able to communicate with the family. It''s not the best but we all get it. He eats with chopsticks without even thinking. He''s even better at it, then some of the nephews who are 100% Chinese.

He''s still leary about eating some of the more ethnic Chinese food but he''s better than he used to be. How can you blame him for not eating chicken feet?

CBG
how about pig''s feet ?

shark fin soup?

 

[icefisher]

I am a Michigan grad, and my wife likes Ohio State.

 

[marvel]

I haven''t had a chance to read through the entire thread yet, but here''s a picture of me and b/f from a few years agol. He''s Japanese and I''m a white girl-Sicilian, actually

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 1/19/2006 8:47:14 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/19/2006 11:25:03 AM

Author: albicocca


As for our wedding, we''re going to have the ceremony be almost entirely western, and then have a separate Chinese wedding banquet a couple weeks later.

but....who''s going to pay for the wedding?

western tradition.....bride''s side of the family pays for everything.

chinese tradition......groom''s side of the family pays for everything.


i''am chinese.i got 2 daughter''s so.....what''s the rule?

if they marry an american.

Hehehe, I think I prefer the chinese tradition!

 

[CdnBlingGal]

Date: 1/19/2006 8:57:15 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/19/2006 12:57:58 PM
Author: CdnBlingGal
I''m Chinese and my Dh is Caucasian.

He''s learnt how to speak in Chinese on his own so he''s able to communicate with the family. It''s not the best but we all get it. He eats with chopsticks without even thinking. He''s even better at it, then some of the nephews who are 100% Chinese.

He''s still leary about eating some of the more ethnic Chinese food but he''s better than he used to be. How can you blame him for not eating chicken feet?

CBG
how about pig''s feet ?

shark fin soup?

Okay, he says with the chicken feet, they should be used as a back scratcher. Pigs feet? He''s had it once but says its too much work but he says that even with crab. He''s been to enough chinese dinners that he''s use to the shark fin soup. He doesn''t mind it. Most of the time he says that the food is bland.
He''s quite taken a back that supper out is quite often 8-12 course meal and eaten quite late. Maybe it''s just my family who likes to eat at 7pm.- 9pm.