Insulting someone''s e-ring; someone insulting yours?

[february2003bride]

Has anyone ever insulted or slighted your e-ring and/or wedding set? Have you ever insulted or slighted someone else''s (knowingly or not?)?

 

[radiantquest]

I remember reading a thread similar to this before. The only thing that was ever said to me was said by my friend. When I was picking out my ering I took her to see it and she said that it was "Cute" and it was a "Good starter ring" Had this been anyone else I may have been offended, but considering she has HUGE fingers and 1-2ct would be lost on her (seriously she has man-hands) and the fact that she has a wealthy BF that buys her stuff constantly. She isn''t snobby really it is just that she doesn''t see rings that are smaller and dainty because her stuff has to be so large.

 

[meresal]

Only my MIL who stared at it for a good 30 seconds and then replied, "It's really nice."

I'm still not really sure what she meant? Don't care either.

ETA: She has recently been making jokes about how DH's sister told her BF that she won't accept anything less than 3 carat, so I guess she was expecting "more" when she saw mine.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Someone once asked me if it was a white topaz...my ring admittedly was a little dirty at the time...

 

[Circe]

The dude at my local comic shop asked me how big it was: when I told him it was just shy of a carat and a half, he said, "Huh, I would have guessed closer to one and a quarter ...." I still don''t know what to make of that, other than way to make awkward conversation, dude!

Other than that, the closest people have come to being insulting was some of my more hipster friends asking accusingly if it was a blood diamond. Given that it''s Russian in origin, I feel comfortable saying no: given that I''m a pedant and a loudmouth, I felt comfortable giving them matching lectures on the Kimberly Process and the probable origins of their tech, clothes, food and general possessions.

 

[Circe]

Gah, double-post - sorry!

 

[LilyKat]

I''ve heard a LOT of people asked my engaged friends with larger diamonds: "Ooh! Is it real?"

I don''t think they mean to be rude - it''s just that in the UK, many people are so unused to seeing larger diamonds (even on wealthy people) that they assume anything over about half a carat or so is fake. But to the outside observer, it sounds SO tactless.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/3/2009 2:17:19 PM
Author: Circe
The dude at my local comic shop asked me how big it was: when I told him it was just shy of a carat and a half, he said, ''Huh, I would have guessed closer to one and a quarter ....'' I still don''t know what to make of that, other than way to make awkward conversation, dude!

Other than that, the closest people have come to being insulting was some of my more hipster friends asking accusingly if it was a blood diamond. Given that it''s Russian in origin, I feel comfortable saying no: given that I''m a pedant and a loudmouth, I felt comfortable giving them matching lectures on the Kimberly Process and the probable origins of their tech, clothes, food and general possessions.

Exactly the sort of thing I do. If you''re going to insult me or be a smart-a$$, be prepared for me to properly embarrass you and hopefully it will be a public performance.

 

[Snicklefritz]

I told a co-worker that my diamond had a lower color and then she said, "Yeah, I can see the yellow." I love yellow diamonds by I don''t think my K-L qualifies as yellow. And it was more the way she said it. It was a judgment. Most people I know think a diamond with a bit of warmth is not worth having.

 

[purrfectpear]

When people ask if it''s a Blood diamond, I always say "not until somone tries to steal it"

 

[Madam Bijoux]

A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said "Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it." (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

 

[tlh]

Date: 12/3/2009 3:05:34 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said ''Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it.'' (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

Ha! yeah, no one would ever notice?

I got a lot of the "it''s cute" and "when I get engaged I won''t settle for anything less than 2 (or 3 depending on the person) carats." but these were from jealous and not engaged girls.

I''ve never intentionally snubbed another person''s ring... but one time when I was MUCH younger, I made a comment w/o thinking that I wanted AT LEAST a carat when engaged it was to an old sweetie and I was holding her hand up like "see!", but to be honest I had NO CLUE what the physically looked like... NO CLUE what shapes meant etc... and I said this to someone who had an engagement ring that was 1ctw. Then the person told me it was only a half a carat center stone, and I was shocked at what that meant... size wise. She had small fingers like me - and I could tell by her comment she thought I was snubbing her... to which I replied, WOW, I thought it was bigger than that - great job Mr XXX. That was the worst feeling ever, and when I decided I needed to start learning what the 4c''s really MEANT... instead of what I THOUGHT they meant. Now I can give honest and sincere compliments w/o sounding condescending or rude.

 

[Ara Ann]

My first e-ring was a .65 marquis with channel set diamonds on the band... I jokingly referred to it as a ''rock'' (just meaning it was a diamond, not a rock as being a HUGE diamond) when I showed it to my older sister''s friend. She looked at it and said, "Well, I certainly wouldn''t consider THAT a ROCK!" She was unnecessarily harsh, IMO because I was just kidding around about it being a ''rock''... But now, looking back at it, I think she could have been jealous...she was in her mid thirties and unmarried and I was younger and newly engaged. But it did kind of hurt my feelings at the time.

After that happened to me, I am very careful about what I say about others e-rings! I figure if the wearer likes it, even if it''s not my taste, I will compliment them on their ring. And if it is my style, I will go ga ga over it! LOL!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 12/3/2009 3:05:34 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said ''Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it.'' (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

Stunning!

The insult I got from a co-worker was, I think, one of the finest.

She said "hey, I notice you finally got engaged at the weekend. What a rock! Will you see if you can get another one the same from your next engagement? THat way you could make a really fabulous pair of earrings."

When I told her nicely that I most likely wouldn''t be having another engagement, she said "never mind. That stone is probably big enough to cut into studs when it all falls apart. No, seriously honey, I''m happy for you. Are you going to lose weight before the wedding?"

Um, these words sort of stuck in my mind haha. I didn''t even know her that well, it isn''t as though there was bad blood between us (up until that point). It was just so randomly nasty it made me laugh out loud. Which in turn offended her. Go figure.

 

[Circe]

Date: 12/3/2009 4:01:58 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 12/3/2009 3:05:34 PM

Author: Madam Bijoux

A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said ''Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it.'' (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

Stunning!

The insult I got from a co-worker was, I think, one of the finest.

She said ''hey, I notice you finally got engaged at the weekend. What a rock! Will you see if you can get another one the same from your next engagement? THat way you could make a really fabulous pair of earrings.''


When I told her nicely that I most likely wouldn''t be having another engagement, she said ''never mind. That stone is probably big enough to cut into studs when it all falls apart. No, seriously honey, I''m happy for you. Are you going to lose weight before the wedding?''


Um, these words sort of stuck in my mind haha. I didn''t even know her that well, it isn''t as though there was bad blood between us (up until that point). It was just so randomly nasty it made me laugh out loud. Which in turn offended her. Go figure.

I, uh ... WOW. I don''t even know what to say about that. Mrs. Mitchell, I announce you the winner of this thread! And your co-worker The Meanest Lady in the Whole Wide World. Nicely done!

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 12/3/2009 2:54:59 PM
Author: purrfectpear
When people ask if it''s a Blood diamond, I always say ''not until somone tries to steal it''

Oh, that reminds me -- after I got engaged, a guy I worked with congratulated me and asked to see the ring. I told him it had belonged to my fiance''s grandmother. And he responded, "Oh, so someone died for it a long time ago, rather than recently!"

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 12/3/2009 4:01:58 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 12/3/2009 3:05:34 PM
Author: Madam Bijoux
A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said ''Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it.'' (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

Stunning!

The insult I got from a co-worker was, I think, one of the finest.

She said ''hey, I notice you finally got engaged at the weekend. What a rock! Will you see if you can get another one the same from your next engagement? THat way you could make a really fabulous pair of earrings.''

When I told her nicely that I most likely wouldn''t be having another engagement, she said ''never mind. That stone is probably big enough to cut into studs when it all falls apart. No, seriously honey, I''m happy for you. Are you going to lose weight before the wedding?''

Um, these words sort of stuck in my mind haha. I didn''t even know her that well, it isn''t as though there was bad blood between us (up until that point). It was just so randomly nasty it made me laugh out loud. Which in turn offended her. Go figure.

Whoa!!! That''s 3 insults in one comment!

I haven''t gotten any insults really...my boss assumed it was fake, then asked how big it was. That was just kind of weird. My MOH asked how big it was and when I told her said, ''oh, so just smaller than mine.'' Mine is a .48ct OMC, while hers is a .5ct RB from a maul. So...mine''s definitely bigger looking.

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Date: 12/3/2009 4:11:54 PM
Author: Circe

Date: 12/3/2009 4:01:58 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 12/3/2009 3:05:34 PM

Author: Madam Bijoux

A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said ''Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it.'' (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

Stunning!

The insult I got from a co-worker was, I think, one of the finest.

She said ''hey, I notice you finally got engaged at the weekend. What a rock! Will you see if you can get another one the same from your next engagement? THat way you could make a really fabulous pair of earrings.''


When I told her nicely that I most likely wouldn''t be having another engagement, she said ''never mind. That stone is probably big enough to cut into studs when it all falls apart. No, seriously honey, I''m happy for you. Are you going to lose weight before the wedding?''


Um, these words sort of stuck in my mind haha. I didn''t even know her that well, it isn''t as though there was bad blood between us (up until that point). It was just so randomly nasty it made me laugh out loud. Which in turn offended her. Go figure.

I, uh ... WOW. I don''t even know what to say about that. Mrs. Mitchell, I announce you the winner of this thread! And your co-worker The Meanest Lady in the Whole Wide World. Nicely done!

It really was good, wasn''t it! I have to say, it is making me laugh out loud to remember about it so as insults go it maybe wasn''t the most effective. I had style and substance though!

I''d score it 9.5, on balance.

Sunny, isn''t it odd how some people are apparently threatened by someone else getting a bigger ring? Weird.

 

[Tuckins1]

No

 

[MakingTheGrade]

When I fist got engaged and showed my ring to my family, my aunt was like "Who's the ring designer?" To which I went "uh...nobody? It's just a setting he picked up at a store". And she went "Oh." in that condescending way.


Once someone was comparing her ring to mine and said something like "yours is so much sparklier than mine don't you think?" ...and mine was because it was better cut...but I didn't want to say "yes" and I didn't want to lie...so I just chuckled and changed the topic. I don't know if they felt insulted or not at my lack of answer.

Also, somebody saw my wedding band and went "aw, well, you can always get one with diamonds for a future anniversary". I think she's just used to seeing diamond bands, and assumed I wanted one too. I actually much prefer my mokume.

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 12/3/2009 4:31:11 PM
Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 12/3/2009 4:11:54 PM

Author: Circe

Date: 12/3/2009 4:01:58 PM

Author: Mrs Mitchell

Date: 12/3/2009 3:05:34 PM


Author: Madam Bijoux


A woman once walked all the way across the room in a restaurant to look at my emerald cut. She said ''Oh, I could wear that. It isn''t flashy and nobody would ever notice it.'' (This, after she noticed it and walked across the room to look at it.)

Stunning!

The insult I got from a co-worker was, I think, one of the finest.

She said ''hey, I notice you finally got engaged at the weekend. What a rock! Will you see if you can get another one the same from your next engagement? THat way you could make a really fabulous pair of earrings.''



When I told her nicely that I most likely wouldn''t be having another engagement, she said ''never mind. That stone is probably big enough to cut into studs when it all falls apart. No, seriously honey, I''m happy for you. Are you going to lose weight before the wedding?''



Um, these words sort of stuck in my mind haha. I didn''t even know her that well, it isn''t as though there was bad blood between us (up until that point). It was just so randomly nasty it made me laugh out loud. Which in turn offended her. Go figure.

I, uh ... WOW. I don''t even know what to say about that. Mrs. Mitchell, I announce you the winner of this thread! And your co-worker The Meanest Lady in the Whole Wide World. Nicely done!

It really was good, wasn''t it! I have to say, it is making me laugh out loud to remember about it so as insults go it maybe wasn''t the most effective. I had style and substance though!

I''d score it 9.5, on balance.

Sunny, isn''t it odd how some people are apparently threatened by someone else getting a bigger ring? Weird.

Well in my case, people think that a bigger ring means he loves you more... "Awww he MUST REALLY LOVE YOU!" It makes me the angriest.

 

[Liane]

I''m afraid that at some point in the past I might have accidentally said something less than flattering while trying to compliment someone''s ring, but I can''t remember anything in particular so I think this is just paranoia from reading too many of these threads. Or not. I''ll never know.

PS has certainly made me a lot more conscious of what I say about people''s jewelry, though. Now I''m genuinely happy whenever I see my friends'' rings -- not just for the fact of their engagements, but because the rings themselves just give me a happy glow for being so beautiful. (I don''t know what I''ll do if a friend gets a maul ring. Happily their fiances have done a lot better than that so far!)

The worst I''ve ever gotten was a couple of hipsters passive-aggressively having a loud discussion between themselves about how diamonds are so unethical, etc. after they caught mine sparkling across the aisle in a grocery store (as we all know, grocery store lighting can do amazing things to diamonds). I bit my tongue pretty hard to keep from saying "don''t worry, you need to be able to afford the horrible moral dilemma first." Flashed the smug smile o'' death instead, which sufficed to shut them up.

 

[Liane]

(Also, off-topic, but: MTG, I love your mokume band. It is one of my most favorite wedding bands on PS. I love that it''s from the same billet as your husband''s so they have the same pattern that is unique to themselves in the world. And mokume ain''t exactly cheap, either.)

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Thanks Liane, I think your new rings are AWESOME! I''d love to get something from Greenlake some day.

Haha yeah, isn''t it funny how people assume anything that doesn''t have diamonds in it HAS to be cheap?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Not that I can recall. I don''t get any compliments on it, either. Okay, maybe about 5 in the many many years I''ve had it. People suck. At least they could say *something*. I have no exciting story to add to this thread.

 

[Lilac]

One of my cousin''s very spoiled friends looked at my engagement ring after I got engaged and said, "Oh that''s a really nice size. Not that big. Sometimes people get engaged and they have very big diamonds but yours isn''t like that." It wasn''t a direct insult, but definitely said in a pretty condescending tone.

 

[ms.halo]

My cousin has the tiniest, little-girl fingers I''ve ever seen. When she got engaged I was trying on her ring and said it was "cute." It''s a stunner, btw, and I must have been referring to the finger size. I knew it was bad the moment it popped out of my mouth.

 

[HollyS]

I cannot begin to imagine the kind of person who would offer a comment on someone''s ring - - if they didn''t like it. That''s a whole lotta ''cheek''.

 

[Blair138]

When DH proposed and had given me the ring, I said "it''s so small" meaning the actual size of the band, NOT the diamond, DH looked like he was about to fall over, and I had to quickly back pedal and explain that I meant the BAND size not the diamond size, which is a 1.6

 

[bebe]

Years ago my DH bought me 2 diamond eternity bands - stones half way around. A friend asked me what the carat weight was and I told her .50 ct each.
In a very nasty tone, she quickly told me "no way those are .50ct each, no way" I asked if she''d like to see the certs.

This came from a woman who copied my ering and eternity bands for her 1st upgrade - a 2ct Pear with eternity bands, then she went up to a 3ct, then a 5ct.
Now I hear the 5ct had 2 best friends on each side and 2 larger eternity bands.

Not a very nice lady, she always has to outdo you, no matter what.