Insulting someone''s e-ring; someone insulting yours?

[cayce]

Someone once asked me if it was a white topaz...my ring admittedly was a little dirty at the time...

That''s Mrs. Hudson_Hawk to you... Over and out.

Janine -- is that you? Sorry, I don''t kow what I was thinking!

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Date: 12/3/2009 9:45:28 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/3/2009 9:32:06 PM

Author: Diamond*Dana

My ex boyfriend said that my diamond wasn''t big enough, lol. I just chalked it up as him being jealous that he let me get away

Omg...so many jokes there. I mean, really? He HAD to bring up the size of your stone? I would chalk that up to serious inadequacy issues on his part.

Lol, I know right?! It really didn''t bother me...made me all the more happy that we broke up and I have the DH that I do

 

[LGK]

Oh I almost forgot this one- it's, perhaps, more just plain rude and weird than intentionally insulting but still.... One male customer was looking at my ring, and said "So. Who did you have to eff to get *that*?" (Except, of course, the unedited version!) As tempting as it was to say "My husband, obviously" I restrained myself and just settled for gobsmacked wordless.

Some of these comments are just horrifying! Gah, people.

Non jewelry related insult, but pretty special all the same: the big nose comment reminds me of what my dad said, upon meeting my co-workers and my husband. (This would be the one time I've seen him since I was 16 or so- he just showed up at my work one day, and got to meet my husband for the first time- that wasn't awkward or anything

) When introduced to one of the girls I work with he said "So, now you can see where LGK gets her ugly nose from." It was a nice refresher course in why one visit in 18 years was plenty! (And yeah, my nose has a prominent bridge, also known as the nose bump that keeps my glasses from sliding down, but it's hardly huge or ugly.) At least after that my husband stopped pestering me to talk to my dad more!

 

[ambulance92]

Me and my DH don''t have amazing jobs, but we get by and have enough left over to enjoy life, but because of where we work people apparently assume that my DH couldn''t actually afford to get me a real diamond and have no problem saying this to my face!
It isn''t even exactly huge! (.43 carat and I have a size 8 finger)

Around the time we got engaged one man told me I could have gotten a real diamond and not some "cut glass." at the local jeweler down the road when he found out we had purchased online.
And just the other day we were joking around with some customers and at one point a lady had said, as loud as can be, "Yeah, maybe later on *R* can buy you a real diamond ring.."
This is also the same lady that insulted my hair after I had just gotten in highlighted. Told me it looked like a wig.

 

[Delster]

On a relative''s hen night, I ended up seated at the bottom end of a very long rectangular table, surrounded by women I didn''t know who had all recently gotten engaged. They swapped their rings back and forth literally under my nose and oohed and aahed noisily over every last detail. They all had very intricate ornate rings, very high settings, lots of accent diamonds, which is what''s in style over here at the moment. Pretty much the opposite of what my ring is I suppose. Eventually one of them said ''oh didn''t you get engaged too - can I see your ring?'' so I handed over the sparkly. They looked. There was silence. Then one of them said ''oh it''s just a solitaire'' and it was promptly handed back. Charming ladies.

 

[Pandora II]

I''ve only had a few negative comments about mine - mainly from one grandmother, who having said how much she loved my ring then told me not to be upset because my cousin had just given his fiance a diamond ring...

What I have found interesting has been in the last two weeks...

I bought myself a RHR as a combination push-present for Daisy and my present to myself from the settlement I got in the legal battle I spent/wasted most of the last year on. It''s a Victorian 18k yellow gold ring with carved galleries and set with 3 OECs and 4 accent single cuts. The OECs are probably an H or I in colour, extremely well cut and each stone faces up at around 0.60ct. The fire off this thing is incredible and I never dreamed I would ever own anything like it. I bought it from a very well-respected jeweller in London, and it cost quite a bit less than my engagement ring.

In the UK anything over 0.5ct is reckoned to be big and over 1ct is HUGE, so a ring with three 0.60ct rocks is substantial to say the least. I can see people looking and thinking: green stone on left hand = engagement ring; diamonds on righthand = huh?

They expect that my e-ring should be the more expensive piece - which it is, but they have always assumed that diamonds are FAR more expensive and rare than any other stone, so they can''t work out what is going on...

Sadly I am longing to flash it past my grandmother and my witch of an aunt since they have always looked at my DH as if her ''couldn''t afford to buy her a diamond''...

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Pandora, be a poppet and post it on SMTR, would you?!

Please? It sounds glorious.

 

[Pandora II]

Will try and take some decent photos tomorrow...

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 12/4/2009 2:14:44 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 12/4/2009 1:40:50 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/4/2009 1:31:25 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/4/2009 1:11:51 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I don''t understand these ''won''t accept under X carat'' girls that actually mean it. Even if you secretly think that, why in the world would you say it out loud? Isn''t that like advertising that you are shallow and care more for the ring than the man?

No. It''s like advertising that you are shallow and care more about what other people think of your ring.

I feel bad for these poor women who had been brainwashed by consumerism and advertising. I have one friend who comes from meager means, who declared that she wanted a 2ct ring. I asked her if she had any idea what that would cost, and she said that she didn''t care, and she would help pay for it. And she dates really quality guys... one said he wanted to marry her, and was going to buy her a ring off of QVC. (great if that was what she wanted, but it was very much NOT.) I also have a cousin in her 30''s who says she wants a 3ct ring. Once again, do you have any idea what that costs? My cousin has 2 daughters and has lived at home for most of her adult life.

Perhaps she is waiting for a wealthy prince to save her from her life? I dunno...

Seriously, the whole ''I won''t accept under X carat'' thing is so ridiculous.
I have a friend who demanded X more weight for every month she had to wait past the engagement deadline. You may not be surprised to hear that less than a year after the wedding they separated. It''s been over two years now and they are still married yet separated.

Wow...now that''s crazy! Definitely a different twist from the norm...upping your carat weight every month past the deadline....

I''m one of the ones who really wanted a 1 carat, but for me it was the highest I wanted to go. That was before PS of course! But for us, I have small fingers (4.75), I knew that this was going to be my only e-ring. No upgrade and the biggest carat weight that looked good on my in my opinion was a 1 carat and my FI obliged! I definitely think of a potential upgrade, but more likely than not, it''d be a RHR or a necklace instead.

To answer the original question, I have never insulted anyone''s ring. I always talk about how great it looks on their finger or how classic it is or how unique depending on the ring. As for being insulted, my mom actually did that. I don''t think she meant it but she thought that my ring was made up of a bunch of tiny tiny diamonds and she had a hard time seeing the diamond in the center (she wasn''t wearing eyeglasses at the time). It definitely deflated my ego when I first showed it to her. In our family, no one has anything different than a round, so she''d never seen a cushion diamond before me. Also she kept telling me that I should have bigger diamonds on the band of my ring and she thought pave diamonds were too small...and then I explained to her that that''s what pave diamonds are.... But anywho, I LOVE my ring and I wouldn''t want to change it ever so the pave is gonna be staying. Now she''s telling me to get a diamond channel band for my w-band to add more bigger diamonds to my set, but that''s gonna be a no since I really want a pave band as well.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I don''t think I''ve ever insulted anyone''s ring. There have been some gorgeous ones that I gushed over, and there have also been ones that weren''t my style, but were unique and cool, and suited the person wearing it so well. And I told them as much.

I still remember one classmate''s ring - the FI incorporated her birthstone, turquoise, into it - so on top of the metal on either side of the RB, almost like shoulders, there was turquoise. I have never seen a ring like it, and while it''s not my style, it was stunning and looked amazing on her.


And I am appalled by the comments you guys have received. Some people are seriously born without filters, aren''t they? The nerve!

 

[Thomperchik]

I''m not engaged, but I''ve always been happy for every single one of my friend''s that have gotten engaged within the last few years.

I do have a friend though who has the tendency to say something negative about the rings of the girls in our circle of friends. They''re always like, "I couldn''t find the diamond" or "that''s like a speck of dirt." I''m assuming that the reason why she says comments like that is because she''s jealous. Poor soul...

 

[gardengloves]

Ok, here''s one. I had a 1.71 OEC as my original ring. So my husband and I go on a little trip. Stroll around, stop in antique stores, art galleries and a jewelry shop in a very upscale little coastal town. We look at things, chat with the sales lady, smile and make a small purchase, everyone very happy. Husband looks at my ring and says, oh, lets get it cleaned while we are here. SA smiles, sure, no problem...She wraps up purchase, cleans ring- hands it back to me and comments.. " Oh, how sweet, its so pretty.. 2 carats is the absolute minimum in this town, would never wear or sell anything under, is this 2 carats? well uh, no, but we like it, thanks for everything.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

This thread is incredibly eye-opening - I haven''t had any direct insults of my e-ring (.71 ct. Asscher), but when I got engaged, one of my former colleagues had also just gotten engaged with a pretty cluster-ey set, with baguettes and rounds, and another piece that would "click in" after the wedding. I think she thought her center stone was close to a carat, but I''m pretty sure it was around a carat (or just over) total weight, and the center stone was more like a .30ish ct. stone. Regardless, it''s not my place to correct her, so I never mentioned anything, and just told her how lovely it looks on her finger, etc.

When she saw my ring, her eyes turned to saucers and she said "Wait, how big is it?!?!" I told her and she said, "Then, how come it looks so much . . . BIGGER . . . than mine?!?!?!?" I didn''t know what to say, so I just said something about how the setting was an optical illusion, blah blah blah. I certainly hope that satisfied her because I would hate to have her run home to yell at her husband.

 

[Nacre]

I always find if offensive when a friend/relative buys an engagement ring diamond from someone else (which is fine by me!)

and then at the engagement party, traps me in a dark corner and DEMANDS that I get my loup out and appraise the stone, did he get a good deal etc...

It''s so awkward... especially if it''s a hideous stone and I can see that it''s not what they claim it is "It''s a D colour triple Ex!"... I always say that it''s beautiful but I''m really thinking of an escape route... preferably to where the champagne is...

Some perfectly normal men turn into diamond-zillas at proposal time. The cutest is hearing them spout out diamond FAKTS at me, them being the experts after buying one...the worst is seeing drill holes in the pav and the dreaded purple flash...

 

[motownmama]

My wb was diamonds and sapphires - one gal at work asked ''Oh - are those onyx?" Ugh , no - that did not make my dady.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

well it wasnt my ring, but my SIL''s. We were at dinner with friends and this girl that we hate and thats really dumb and i mean really really dumb invited herself. It was a nice fancy dinner everone dressed up to go to, and she came in dirty sweats. anyway, my SIL was showing people her ering and it was a 1 carat solitaire before she upgraded to her ritani halo. Someone asked her how many carats it was and my SIL replied 1 and the girl said oh... it totally looks like a half carat.

Her diamond is IDEAL cut excellent everthing!!!! there is no way a 1 carat diamond can look like a half carat!!! she pissed me off. I wanna beat her up anyway because she owes me 400 dollars

but she makes it so easy for people to HATE her!

plus, she has these weird small hands that dont match her body. she has the hands of like a 5 year old little girl on a 26 year old body. and she thinks her hands need to insured because they are so beautiful. this girl is something else...

 

[Porridge]

Date: 12/9/2009 12:11:45 AM
Author: Nacre
the dreaded purple flash...

pardon my ignorance...what''s the dreaded purple flash??

 

[Vancity]

Purple Flash = Clarity Enhanced

http://www.goodoldgold.com/4Cs/Clarity/ClarityEnhancedDiamonds/

 

[luckynumber]

some great stories, and some VERY JEALOUS people out there!

i''m not engaged yet, but looks like i may have to brush up on the kimberley process again

i am ALWAYS complimentary to others e-rings, no matter how bad they are. Saw a ~2 ct princess recently, it was so poorly cut that it was almost dead and had obviously been cut for weight. I told her it was absolutely gorgeous and I''d do the same again.

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 12/3/2009 2:54:59 PM
Author: purrfectpear
When people ask if it''s a Blood diamond, I always say ''not until somone tries to steal it''

LOL!

 

[Porridge]

Date: 12/17/2009 6:01:18 PM
Author: Vancity
Purple Flash = Clarity Enhanced

http://www.goodoldgold.com/4Cs/Clarity/ClarityEnhancedDiamonds/

Aaah. Thanks!

 

[Gleam]

The FIRST question out of my good friend''s mouth after she saw my ring was, "Did he have to finance it?"

I was just kind of in shock when she said that. The funny thing is, my fiance has practically no credit to speak of (a problem since we are trying to buy a home). He didn''t even get his first credit card until several months ago and it has a $1,000 limit!

 

[that_someone_special]

Date: 12/17/2009 6:01:18 PM
Author: Vancity
Purple Flash = Clarity Enhanced

http://www.goodoldgold.com/4Cs/Clarity/ClarityEnhancedDiamonds/

Hmm learn something every day.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

My original ER is 1.07 Transition cut that I usually get compliments on. I wear it with a diamond band and twice the the guy who sells hair products in a vendor booth has yelled out to me "HEY ARE THOSE REAL?" The first time I ignored him but the second time I replied "Of course not!" as I hurried by.

My newer 1.24 Carat RB gets too much attention. A few of my staff were talking e-rings as one girl is newly engaged and her set BTW is lovely. She was getting compliments on it and out of the blue said "Lisa''s ring is POW!" "It is like POW in your face". To which another lady (who used to be in management and now has to get used to me being in management) said "It is too white for me". I had to smile as the diamond is J color in a Yellow setting. I just mumbled how "modern amd pretty" the original ring that was being discussed was and the conversation continued from there.

 

[butterfly 17]

I have one story that just happened the other day. We have girl at work that is always talking about her BF and how she is waiting for him to propose and how she can''t wait to get her ring and it has to be minimum this and that.

So the other day, I wore my smaller T&Co. solitaire set, which is .55 carats. I was in charge so as I walked around the unit with the nite charge nurse giving report, she saw my ring, grabbed my hand and exclaimed- Oh my G@d, the diamond is so small.

I wasn''t really embarassed, although I am pretty sure my face turned a little red, but mostly shocked she of all people would say that, since she is pining away for a ring and she has no idea what size she will be getting or even when it will occur.

My friend, the nite shift charge nurse, looked at her and said, that''s just one of many that Maryanne has...

Then we left the bedside and my friend told me she could not believe she said that to me when there are a few nite shift nurses who got engaged and none of them have gigantic diamonds, was she telling them the same thing.

I told her don''t worry, When she gets engaged, i will be sure to tell her how small hers is. Nah, I wouldn''t do that.

 

[that_someone_special]

That''s too bad!

Honestly, before I was engaged, I had NO IDEA how much diamonds were and insisted that only a 2-2.5 carat would look appropriate on my honkin'' fingers.
Well........ lol things change!! I hope she can see the err in her ways sooner than later..

 

[mani5ha]

Omg! These stories...! I''m going to have to read up on the Kimberly process just in case! (not engaged yet!)

One story is my best friend who recently got engaged. When we saw it she estimated that her bf had paid about £8000 GBP for it, it''s a 1 carat solitaire ring and it''s lovely, one of the girls with us said "WHAT, if he paid £8000 for it he got ripped off, that would be £5000 max). I didnt know anything about diamonds and how expensive they are, but now that I do I can safely say that he probably paid over £10,000 because its a 1 carat D VVS1!

When my friend found out how much fer FI had paid for the ring, she was shocked, and same girl said "can i be cheeky and ask how much he paid" to which my friend replied it''s a personal thing and i promised I wouldnt say. I mean, who ASKS how much a ring costs?

She is shopping for her own ring now and showing off that she would like a 1.25 ring and it hopefully it shouldnt cost more than £7,500. We don''t want to know the details but she insists on telling us. To me thats a sign of insecurity!

Money isn''t everything!!

 

[goldfish]

This is a little bit of a sore subject for me.



My engagement ring is a sapphire. My husband picked it out with no input from me other than I loved sapphires because of Princess Diana''s ring. NONE of our friends or family appreciated it, because it doesn''t look like an engagement ring to them. My mother looked at my ring for a second, and then said, "Oh, well, at least it has diamonds on it." (Let me just say that she is a wonderful woman, who loves me and would give me everything she has.) The only kind words I got about it were here. There was so much negative reaction to it that I simply put it away. I haven''t even taken it out of the box to look at it in a couple of years. All I wear is a plain platinum wedding band.


On the other hand, I think that this experience has made me understand and appreciate how easy and wonderful a thing it is to compliment someone, not just on a ring but on anything. I hope that I have never said anything to hurt anyone''s feeling about their ring, because that would bother me more than anything mean anyone said to me about mine.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Nobody has ever insulted my eng. ring and I''ve never insulted anyone elses.

 

[Tuckins1]

Date: 1/9/2010 10:29:20 PM
Author: goldfish
This is a little bit of a sore subject for me.




My engagement ring is a sapphire. My husband picked it out with no input from me other than I loved sapphires because of Princess Diana''s ring. NONE of our friends or family appreciated it, because it doesn''t look like an engagement ring to them. My mother looked at my ring for a second, and then said, ''Oh, well, at least it has diamonds on it.'' (Let me just say that she is a wonderful woman, who loves me and would give me everything she has.) The only kind words I got about it were here. There was so much negative reaction to it that I simply put it away. I haven''t even taken it out of the box to look at it in a couple of years. All I wear is a plain platinum wedding band.



On the other hand, I think that this experience has made me understand and appreciate how easy and wonderful a thing it is to compliment someone, not just on a ring but on anything. I hope that I have never said anything to hurt anyone''s feeling about their ring, because that would bother me more than anything mean anyone said to me about mine.

Goldfish, your ring is AWESOME!!

The stone is gorgeous, and the setting is lovely! You should whip that baby out and wear it proudly!