Insulting someone''s e-ring; someone insulting yours?

[MakingTheGrade]

I don''t understand these "won''t accept under X carat" girls that actually mean it. Even if you secretly think that, why in the world would you say it out loud? Isn''t that like advertising that you are shallow and care more for the ring than the man?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/4/2009 1:11:51 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I don''t understand these ''won''t accept under X carat'' girls that actually mean it. Even if you secretly think that, why in the world would you say it out loud? Isn''t that like advertising that you are shallow and care more for the ring than the man?

No. It''s like advertising that you are shallow and care more about what other people think of your ring.

 

[kas baby]

Date: 12/4/2009 12:52:19 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/3/2009 10:48:09 PM

Author: kas baby

pictures of the band with my loose sapphire can be found here: http://www.pricescope.com/forum/colored-stones/piece-de-resistance-t122760-30.html

I have a big sweet spot for sapphires

Kas -



That is hands down one of the most STUNNING sapphires that I have ever seen! The color is like diving into a hypnotic pool of blue, and it certainly DOES appear to glow!

I usually see the blue sapphires in a darker shade, but yours is absolutey incredible and one of a kind, and your band is so dainty and beautiful as well! The perfect complement! Congrats on your two lovelies!

Now I feel sorry for FI. Guess what''s going on my wishlist?

aww. Me and my sapphires are blushing

Jeff White did an amazing job and I cannot say enough good things about my experience with him. I cannot wait to get it set!! It''s going to go into a platinum Vatche Swan, size 5. We just have to save like crazy, which is tough to do while laid off

but it does come out to keep me company while I (try to) study for exams, lol.

(sorry for the mini-threadjack)

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 12/4/2009 1:31:25 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/4/2009 1:11:51 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I don''t understand these ''won''t accept under X carat'' girls that actually mean it. Even if you secretly think that, why in the world would you say it out loud? Isn''t that like advertising that you are shallow and care more for the ring than the man?

No. It''s like advertising that you are shallow and care more about what other people think of your ring.

I feel bad for these poor women who had been brainwashed by consumerism and advertising. I have one friend who comes from meager means, who declared that she wanted a 2ct ring. I asked her if she had any idea what that would cost, and she said that she didn''t care, and she would help pay for it. And she dates really quality guys... one said he wanted to marry her, and was going to buy her a ring off of QVC. (great if that was what she wanted, but it was very much NOT.) I also have a cousin in her 30''s who says she wants a 3ct ring. Once again, do you have any idea what that costs? My cousin has 2 daughters and has lived at home for most of her adult life.

Perhaps she is waiting for a wealthy prince to save her from her life? I dunno...

 

[btrflygrl23]

I have had a couple of incidents with mine.
First, I had a casual friend ask me the whole oh it''s big is it b/c it''s a blood diamond? I too went with the educational information route and told her about the Kimberly Process but I was annoyed b/c her tone was judgy and accusing.

Then FSIL who I have always had issues with said the following when I first got engaged she asked to see it right away and then promptly said oh it isn''t that big when C (FI) said it was 2cts I thought it would be WAY bigger and later on she contradicted herself and said you know I would never wear anything that big be careful people may start to think you are fifty cent or something and followed it with a super fake laugh.

Finally, a co-worker asked me the is it real question and when I said it was started the blood diamonds lecture and told me that she would only buy from brilliant earth as both their diamonds and gold are conflict free and whether I knew where the gold in my ring came from and on and on...my ring is plat but it was just too exhausting to get into it with her I was on my coffee break and I just politely excused myself and went back to work...

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/4/2009 1:48:52 PM
Author: btrflygrl23
I have had a couple of incidents with mine.
First, I had a casual friend ask me the whole oh it''s big is it b/c it''s a blood diamond? I too went with the educational information route and told her about the Kimberly Process but I was annoyed b/c her tone was judgy and accusing.

Then FSIL who I have always had issues with said the following when I first got engaged she asked to see it right away and then promptly said oh it isn''t that big when C (FI) said it was 2cts I thought it would be WAY bigger and later on she contradicted herself and said you know I would never wear anything that big be careful people may start to think you are fifty cent or something and followed it with a super fake laugh.

Finally, a co-worker asked me the is it real question and when I said it was started the blood diamonds lecture and told me that she would only buy from brilliant earth as both their diamonds and gold are conflict free and whether I knew where the gold in my ring came from and on and on...my ring is plat but it was just too exhausting to get into it with her I was on my coffee break and I just politely excused myself and went back to work...

ROFL. I bet she was super proud of herself for those remarks. With all due respect, btrflygrl, your FSIL sounds like a douche.

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/4/2009 1:40:50 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/4/2009 1:31:25 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/4/2009 1:11:51 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I don''t understand these ''won''t accept under X carat'' girls that actually mean it. Even if you secretly think that, why in the world would you say it out loud? Isn''t that like advertising that you are shallow and care more for the ring than the man?

No. It''s like advertising that you are shallow and care more about what other people think of your ring.

I feel bad for these poor women who had been brainwashed by consumerism and advertising. I have one friend who comes from meager means, who declared that she wanted a 2ct ring. I asked her if she had any idea what that would cost, and she said that she didn''t care, and she would help pay for it. And she dates really quality guys... one said he wanted to marry her, and was going to buy her a ring off of QVC. (great if that was what she wanted, but it was very much NOT.) I also have a cousin in her 30''s who says she wants a 3ct ring. Once again, do you have any idea what that costs? My cousin has 2 daughters and has lived at home for most of her adult life.

Perhaps she is waiting for a wealthy prince to save her from her life? I dunno...

Seriously, the whole "I won''t accept under X carat" thing is so ridiculous.
I have a friend who demanded X more weight for every month she had to wait past the engagement deadline. You may not be surprised to hear that less than a year after the wedding they separated. It''s been over two years now and they are still married yet separated.

 

[yssie]

I try to be very very careful about saying only sweet things about other people's rings, if I've goofed I've successfully banished it from memory

.

I had a couple of women insult all of my jewellery pretty thoroughly at the mall once. I wish I'd thought to do more than just glare, but I was just so shocked!

My cousin came to visit from India, where everything of value is 22/24k yg. She was apparently convinced that my ring was silver, and when I told her it was platinum she obviously didn't think it was much more of a step up, though the way she phrased her surprise wasn't mean at all. A very different culture! It actually makes me feel better about wearing my ring to visit - if everyone thinks it's cheapie, I don't need to worry about people taking offense to wasted money, KWIM?

 

[tlh]

Date: 12/4/2009 12:41:56 PM
Author: upgrade

When I got my upgrade earlier this year it was my mom who insulted it. She gawked at it when I showed it to her and asked to try it on. She put it on her hand and said it was way too big and how could I wear that. She was jealous. I love my ring and I figure there are always going to be jealous people who have to build themselves up by cutting someone else down so I don''t let their comments bother me.

Interesting, I read that and thought about the time (when just dating my now hubs) my MIL had me try on her Marquis. I don''t know the exact carat weight but would estimate around 3+. It is a spready thing, and the setting is monstrous - and has a lot of finger coverage. She wears I would estimate a size 6.5-7 I wear a size 4... depending on the weather.
She put the thing on my finger and at the time I fet so uncomfortable, it was HUGE... base of my hand to the tip of my knuckle. I mean it took up my entire digit. I did tell her I liked it, but looked at my now husband at the time, and told him that I''d prefer something smaller... and he laughed and said of course, it took my mom 20 years to earn that! to which I replied, well now I have something to look forward to

. But now I wonder if my recoil of the ring, made her think I insulted it.

It isn''t really my style, but is a lovely ring... and she''s since gotten another ring to play with. A 4-5ct H&A rb... and she''s designing the custom setting now.

But after reading your post, I wonder if she thought I was insulting it. I wasn''t - it was just a little overwhelming for someone who didn''t wear rings... and still really doesnt.

I sure hope not~ I love my MIL!

 

[LGK]

Date: 12/3/2009 5:35:08 PM
Author: MC
Not that I can recall. I don't get any compliments on it, either. Okay, maybe about 5 in the many many years I've had it. People suck. At least they could say *something*. I have no exciting story to add to this thread.

Work with jewelry. Then you will hear the good, the bad and the just plain freaky weird on a daily basis. I guess if you are in proximity to jewelry, yours is fair game. I'd say I hear about 80% nice, and the rest is a grab bag of passive aggressiveness and just plain bizzarity. One woman threw a huge hissy fit when I wouldn't tell her what "I" paid for my e-ring, complete with screaming. I also get "Is that real" often enough to just find it funny.

One comment did tick me off, because it was intentional and not just a slip of the tongue *and* from someone I knew. A person I know, who sells antique jewelry for a living, looked at the 3 1/2ct OEC I had just gotten. He said, "Oh, what size is that? Almost a carat?" And then gave me this sly I'm-being-a-jerk-and-you-can't-do-a-thing look. He also always asks me if I'm pregnant or just fat, which I love *so much*. He also called me "Satan spawn" once to my face, and threw a handful of his rings across the room. I was furious at the time, but looking back- awesome insult! And hilarious.

 

[partgypsy]

I''ve had a couple incidents with friends/acquantices about the whole blood diamond aspect. One of the worst was over dinner with the host where the person had too much to drink, kept saying inflammatory statements so one by one everyone left the room except for him and me. So then he gets started on how he would never buy his wife diamonds due to blood diamonds. I tried to explain the Kimberly process and how diamonds in US the sellers have to comply with that, etc but he blew that off as not worth the paper it''s on, and moved on to even more general statements like how diamonds and gemstones lead to the raping (yes he used that term) of small children. I don''t know if he meant the term in metaphorical or literal sense, but at that point I decided to leave the room too.

Suffice to say other than a couple people who find it interesting I don''t bring up or talk about my gemstone/diamond purchases around family & friends.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I no longer respond to derasive comments on my ring. I just say nothing. Months ago I recall something sarcastic was said, and when I asked the person to "speak plainly" (as to what she meant)--she became embarrassed, stammered and apologized....saying she would rethink her comment and then, left.

cheers--Sharon

 

[HVVS]

Well in my case, people think that a bigger ring means he loves you more... "Awww he MUST REALLY LOVE YOU!" It makes me the angriest.

I don't think I'd take offense to that comment. Whenever I've heard it said, it's been in appreciation or admiration, not necessarily of just the ring, but also of the man, for actually buying something special. There are many, many men out there who will buy themselves a $60,000 vehicle and a plethora of other man-toys, and will only buy the FI the first, cheap, low quality, e-ring that they find, because the e-ring is not important to them and so it should not be important to the woman. There are many married women out there who'd love to have a larger or fancier ring or wedding set, but they know it's never going to happen, b/c the husband doesn't want it to.

 

[Vancity]

Hands down, worst insult I''ve ever heard…

A childhood friend had recently gotten engaged, and was OVER THE MOON delighted with her ring. She''s a very naturally pretty girl (think along the lines of Shania Twain).

An "acquaintace" comes up to my friend, nearly rips her arm out of the socket to get a look at the ring, and says very matter of factly:

"Nice ring. Now no one will notice your big nose."


I''ve known my friend since we were 9. She had always been self-concscious about her nose, and many kids had teased her about it. Honestly, it''s not big…she just has a small face/jawline which makes it appear to protrude a teensy bit. Poor Bev…she was absolutely crestfallen and hurt by this out of the blue comment. I could literally see her excitement just evaporate.


I shot Broomhilda my best icy glare and replied in a tone that would make a serial killer cower:

"I don''t remember hearing anyone ask for your opinion."

After she skulked off, I made a joke that it would take a special kind of man to love her, and he was probably waiting in the State Penn. Bev laughed, and we were back on the happy train...never to hear from Ms. Gargoyle again

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

It wasn't my ering but...

My DH got me a lovely ering - but after paying cash for the ring and most of our wedding - there were not enough funds left to pay for a custom matching wedding band. So I got a simple plain white gold band. When I returned to work after the wedding a co-worker asked to see my band, I showed her my hand and she responded "Wow, that's it?"

It was hard not to be insulted!

 

[Mystra]

oh oh can i join? i have a couple of doozies!!!

when i was engaged (i am not any longer... *sigh* long sad story) i went to LA on a business trip, i usually work in Manhattan.
one of my vendors who up to that point had always flirted rather inappropriately with me looked at my half carat with ruby side stones ring and laughed.
he said, "hmpf... is he getting you a real engagement ring later on".
admittedly he''d had a few drinks but this comment so shocked me, i was speechless.


some weeks later, my own parents commented that since i worked in NYC, they thought my ring would be more impressive.
nice, eh? at least they apologized later on. they thought that we had bought the ring together, when in fact the BF did it all on his own.

 

[february2003bride]

Oh my gosh Vancity, that is HORRIBLE!

I just remembered one of my friend''s had her e-ring insulted. She''s also my best friend''s SIL. When she got engaged, her then FI (now DH) had bought her a .75ish round, simple 4 prong from Kay Jewelers. She was showing her co-workers when one said "Ugh, when MY boyfriend proposes, he better not propose with some under 1 carat ring from ZALES!" And made a horrified expression. My friend very coldly said "Thank you. That''s exactly what my ring is. And I adore my ring and the person who gave it to me." Turned around a walked away.

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/4/2009 8:03:22 PM
Author: february2003bride
Oh my gosh Vancity, that is HORRIBLE!


I just remembered one of my friend''s had her e-ring insulted. She''s also my best friend''s SIL. When she got engaged, her then FI (now DH) had bought her a .75ish round, simple 4 prong from Kay Jewelers. She was showing her co-workers when one said ''Ugh, when MY boyfriend proposes, he better not propose with some under 1 carat ring from ZALES!'' And made a horrified expression. My friend very coldly said ''Thank you. That''s exactly what my ring is. And I adore my ring and the person who gave it to me.'' Turned around a walked away.

Great response from your friend, and good for her for sticking up for herself.

 

[upgrade]

Date: 12/4/2009 3:07:49 PM
Author: tlh

Date: 12/4/2009 12:41:56 PM
Author: upgrade

When I got my upgrade earlier this year it was my mom who insulted it. She gawked at it when I showed it to her and asked to try it on. She put it on her hand and said it was way too big and how could I wear that. She was jealous. I love my ring and I figure there are always going to be jealous people who have to build themselves up by cutting someone else down so I don''t let their comments bother me.

Interesting, I read that and thought about the time (when just dating my now hubs) my MIL had me try on her Marquis. I don''t know the exact carat weight but would estimate around 3+. It is a spready thing, and the setting is monstrous - and has a lot of finger coverage. She wears I would estimate a size 6.5-7 I wear a size 4... depending on the weather.
She put the thing on my finger and at the time I fet so uncomfortable, it was HUGE... base of my hand to the tip of my knuckle. I mean it took up my entire digit. I did tell her I liked it, but looked at my now husband at the time, and told him that I''d prefer something smaller... and he laughed and said of course, it took my mom 20 years to earn that! to which I replied, well now I have something to look forward to

. But now I wonder if my recoil of the ring, made her think I insulted it.

It isn''t really my style, but is a lovely ring... and she''s since gotten another ring to play with. A 4-5ct H&A rb... and she''s designing the custom setting now.

But after reading your post, I wonder if she thought I was insulting it. I wasn''t - it was just a little overwhelming for someone who didn''t wear rings... and still really doesnt.

I sure hope not~ I love my MIL!

If your comment was said without malice, I''m sure you didn''t insult her. My mother''s comment was said in a very insulting tone and my ring, while not small, is not exactly a 3 carat stone!

 

[LamborghiniGirl]

Date: 12/3/2009 7:50:34 PM
Author: trillionaire
I went to dinner with an acquaintance and both of us had gotten engaged in the past 6 mos, but not seen each other''s rings (I did see hers in FB photos and it was LOVELY!) We were eating and chatting and she asked to see my ring, so I asked to see hers as well. Hers was beautiful, but noticably smaller than mine. We complimented each other, but then she immediately started talking about how she and her fiance had agreed not to spend an exorbitant amount on a ring, and how she would be really angry if he did, etc, etc. She was going on and on about it. I definitely felt awkward, as if she was defensively justifying the size of her ring and condemning mine. My ring is 1ct, so it''s substantial, but not gawdy at all. I also don''t have tiny fingers, mine is probably a true size 6.5... On top of that, I have NO IDEA how much FI spent on it, but I assume it was a price he felt comfortable paying! I certainly felt awkward and offended

I don''t know what tcw her ring was, but it''s a lovely, lovely ring... looks like this...

trillionaire! Was the ring from Diamonds Direct? And if so do you live near Charlotte? That''s where I am moving in a few weeks! If not, I totally misread the label in the ring box

 

[mariel]

Date: 12/4/2009 8:43:44 PM
Author: LamborghiniGirl

Date: 12/3/2009 7:50:34 PM

Author: trillionaire

I went to dinner with an acquaintance and both of us had gotten engaged in the past 6 mos, but not seen each other''s rings (I did see hers in FB photos and it was LOVELY!) We were eating and chatting and she asked to see my ring, so I asked to see hers as well. Hers was beautiful, but noticably smaller than mine. We complimented each other, but then she immediately started talking about how she and her fiance had agreed not to spend an exorbitant amount on a ring, and how she would be really angry if he did, etc, etc. She was going on and on about it. I definitely felt awkward, as if she was defensively justifying the size of her ring and condemning mine. My ring is 1ct, so it''s substantial, but not gawdy at all. I also don''t have tiny fingers, mine is probably a true size 6.5... On top of that, I have NO IDEA how much FI spent on it, but I assume it was a price he felt comfortable paying! I certainly felt awkward and offended

I don''t know what tcw her ring was, but it''s a lovely, lovely ring... looks like this...

trillionaire! Was the ring from Diamonds Direct? And if so do you live near Charlotte? That''s where I am moving in a few weeks! If not, I totally misread the label in the ring box

LamborghiniGirl - It does look like that''s a box from Diamonds Direct in South Park - they have fabulous merchandise there! Welcome to the Queen City, you''ll love it here!

When my neighbor got engaged, she asked me what I thought of Sams club diamonds because that''s where they were thinking of getting her ring and if I knew any other stores. I suggested other merchants including online and she said "oh I don''t want something like yours, I''m a very simple girl" - not really sure what that meant because I have a 2.10 RB solitaire, nothing major or flashy

she ended up with a sams club diamond and it''s a nice ring but not much smaller or different than mine...

 

[wsu12]

Date: 12/3/2009 10:25:45 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 12/3/2009 9:23:47 PM

Author: MishB

I''m sure a lot of people must wonder why I don''t have a big diamond engagement ring, but no one has ever had the nerve to ask me.


I do wonder what to say when girls show me their rings and it''s not something I can even honestly admire, something like ''how pretty'' would be a lie. Which is why I rarely ask to see someone''s ring, only if I have a good idea it''s going to be something I can honestly compliment.

I NEVER ask people to see their rings, and only very occassionally with very close friends. I feel like no matter what, it ends up being awkward.

And honestly, unless you have super sparkly ring 99.9% of the time, I won''t notice that you even have one. I''ve seriously had people who I''ve known for months start talking about their husbands, and I am shocked that they are married. Only then do I notice the ring.

In addition, I do believe in being gracious, but I don''t lie well either, and if I don''t like your ring (ie, not my taste), I worry that it comes off as less than genuine. I don''t even like to show people MY ring, though I love it and am so proud of it. It''s a trillion, which is unusual and undoubtedly not many people''s taste, and I don''t care to be subjected to their opinions about it. That said, everyone has said lovely things about it, so maybe I''m just paranoid...

Trillionaire-We could be twins in this respect. I NEVER ask about rings, even close friends. Personally, I fear I will look tacky (Yet, when people ask me about mine I never feel that way) and I don''t want any awkward moments...what to do, what to do?

 

[wsu12]

I was talking to a good friend on the phone about HER upcoming engagement and the ring shopping experience, etc. I asked her what she was looking for and in general was just making small talk...her answer "well, nothing like yours...I mean I like your ring, just not for me...I want something simple".

Looking back, I think it did hurt my feelings just a bit. Although, I am so in love with my ring that it really did slide off my back.

Next up...
Same girl, telling me about her SIL''s e-ring "It looks like your ring, except it''s big"

 

[hihowareyou]

I have a cousin who has been weird about my ring.

When she first saw it she snapped a picture on her phone. She then asked me if it was ok to post it on facebook and tag me in it and when I said no proceeded to do it in front of me. Then a few weeks later at our engagement party she came up to me, took my hand and started to compare my ring to her grandmother''s ring that she wears side by side. She told me that the friends she had shown the picture to all said that it must be huge and that they didn''t understand how small my hands are and how tiny the diamond really is...

Yes my hands are small, yes my stone is less than 1ct (the stones in the ring she was comparing mine to were all smaller also so I''m not sure where she was going with that) but I didn''t appreciate the use the word ''tiny'' as I think it takes away from the significance of the ring. I know she is happy for me but sometimes just doesn''t think about things before she says/does them I guess.

 

[Dandi]

When we got engaged, I was working at a jewellery shop. A woman came in looking at rings, and she spotted mine on my hand. It's a 3 stone with a ctw of 1.55ct, so not mammoth, but largish for my age (22 at the time) and for the area I live in, plus I have smallish fingers so it must have been quite noticable to her.

She saw it and stated that that is exactly the ring she would like to have made for herself, but in real diamonds.

My boss was standing behind me desperately trying to stifle a loud snort

 

[kas baby]

wow. some people

I''ve never had the "is it real?" comments made b/c I have sapphires, so people ignore mine. But wow, to actually ask if its real- or assume that it isn''t- says a lot about the person saying that imo. They''re probably so used to seeing costume jewelery that they assume nothing is real unless its tiny- or- they can''t afford the real thing and so are making judgment that people who they see as ''beneath'' them can''t afford it either so it must be fake.

ugh. I just don''t get it. I''m the first in my circle of friends and family to get engaged so I haven''t had to deal with it yet, but, I probably won''t ask about people''s rings. They all know I did a ton of research to get what I did, and so I think they may be intimidated when the time comes

... that is unless they tell their SO to talk to me before any ''surprises''

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 12/4/2009 11:30:30 PM
Author: maikeru

Date: 12/4/2009 8:43:44 PM
Author: LamborghiniGirl

Date: 12/3/2009 7:50:34 PM

Author: trillionaire

I went to dinner with an acquaintance and both of us had gotten engaged in the past 6 mos, but not seen each other''s rings (I did see hers in FB photos and it was LOVELY!) We were eating and chatting and she asked to see my ring, so I asked to see hers as well. Hers was beautiful, but noticably smaller than mine. We complimented each other, but then she immediately started talking about how she and her fiance had agreed not to spend an exorbitant amount on a ring, and how she would be really angry if he did, etc, etc. She was going on and on about it. I definitely felt awkward, as if she was defensively justifying the size of her ring and condemning mine. My ring is 1ct, so it''s substantial, but not gawdy at all. I also don''t have tiny fingers, mine is probably a true size 6.5... On top of that, I have NO IDEA how much FI spent on it, but I assume it was a price he felt comfortable paying! I certainly felt awkward and offended

I don''t know what tcw her ring was, but it''s a lovely, lovely ring... looks like this...

trillionaire! Was the ring from Diamonds Direct? And if so do you live near Charlotte? That''s where I am moving in a few weeks! If not, I totally misread the label in the ring box

LamborghiniGirl - It does look like that''s a box from Diamonds Direct in South Park - they have fabulous merchandise there! Welcome to the Queen City, you''ll love it here!

When my neighbor got engaged, she asked me what I thought of Sams club diamonds because that''s where they were thinking of getting her ring and if I knew any other stores. I suggested other merchants including online and she said ''oh I don''t want something like yours, I''m a very simple girl'' - not really sure what that meant because I have a 2.10 RB solitaire, nothing major or flashy

she ended up with a sams club diamond and it''s a nice ring but not much smaller or different than mine...

Oh, I have no idea where they got the ring, but they did live in Charlotte, so that''s a good guess. I am not familiar with the jewelry stores in the area... I''m actually headed to Charlotte for business tomorrow, I should go look at sparklies!!!

 

[rockpaperscissors67]

Date: 12/5/2009 11:04:36 AM
Author: kas baby
wow. some people

I''ve never had the ''is it real?'' comments made b/c I have sapphires, so people ignore mine. But wow, to actually ask if its real- or assume that it isn''t- says a lot about the person saying that imo. They''re probably so used to seeing costume jewelery that they assume nothing is real unless its tiny- or- they can''t afford the real thing and so are making judgment that people who they see as ''beneath'' them can''t afford it either so it must be fake.

ugh. I just don''t get it. I''m the first in my circle of friends and family to get engaged so I haven''t had to deal with it yet, but, I probably won''t ask about people''s rings. They all know I did a ton of research to get what I did, and so I think they may be intimidated when the time comes

... that is unless they tell their SO to talk to me before any ''surprises''

A woman who worked at the tanning salon I used to go to had an asscher cut diamond in a very simple setting. When I saw it the first time, "is it real?" popped out of my mouth before I could stop it. It wasn''t that it looked fake -- I know my reaction was due to most maul stores around here not carrying asschers of any substantial size and I don''t know anyone that buys jewelry online.

I apologized immediately and told her that I was stunned -- in a good way -- to see an asscher in real life on someone''s finger. It sounds stupid, but I was thrilled to be able to look at her ring. If I remember right, it was about 2 ct., so not small and oh, so amazing with those steps. I think I gushed enough about it that it smoothed over that lovely gaffe.

I''ve never had any nasty comments about my ring. My one co-worker teases me about how big my diamond is (it''s only a 1.15 ct. princess), but he teases me about a lot of other stuff too, so I don''t take offense at all.

The only time I feel uncomfortable is when someone makes a big deal of how much my ring must have cost because I feel like they''re saying it was an extravagence we could have done without.

 

[Tuckins1]

Just remembered this story...

A year ago I helped my friend find a ring for his now wife, on an EXTREMELY modest budget. It is not the best stone in the world, but it''s all he could afford, and she loves it. We were over at this girl''s house, and she was talking about how she wants "this type of ring, this many cts, blah, blah, blah"... She looks over st my friend''s ring as says, "yeah, I definitely want one bigger than that, that''s what EVERYBODY has and my man has to spend a lot more than that..."

What a bi&*h.

 

[Mara]

jewelry is so personal, i would not get offended if someone said they wanted smaller or a diff style or whatever. different likes and dislikes are normal. i have had people try my ring on and say 'oh this is WAY too big for my small hand'....to which i respond 'yes, i have big man hands.' and i'm serious when i say it! i can't wear certain styles or stone colors because they just don't flatter me as well.

i also don't like 'he must REALLY love you' or 'someone REALLY loves you' when people see my rings. surprisingly enough, i have heard that from multiple cashiers over the years. i guess they think it's a compliment.

i think the only 'insult' that sticks in my mind is from this guy whose family used to own like half of this area, back when it was orchards, he's a friend of a friend and kind of snooty. he worked in a jewelry store for a year as fun and when i saw him at a party, he asked to see my ring. he said 'oh, what is that, a .75 carat?'. i said 'no it's a 1.6c' (previous stone)...and he was like 'oh really it looks smaller'. GEE THANKS.

i just took my hand back and walked away. he is still single many years later.