In need of advice for an engagement ring

[krede60]

I'm relatively new to jewelry shopping altogether, let alone diamonds, and I've recently decided I'm ready to get an engagement ring for my girlfriend. I've been trying to educate myself on the characteristics, and I know enough to prioritize the cut above clarify, carat, and color. What I'm struggling with is determining what other characteristics are best to invest in with the diamond for my situation.

Obviously, with no budget limits, I'd get a flawless diamond, but even then I doubt my girlfriend would like a gaudy diamond. She wears very little jewelry (a couple pairs of stud earrings) and she is not a fan of jewelry that is "too fancy". I know as well that if I spent too much on the ring, she'd feel uncomfortable wearing it. This is where I'm really running into trouble. What is deemed fancy is relatively subjective, but I have no idea what characteristics in a diamond typically make it look more fancy. I'm feeling torn between my wants, to get her the most stunning ring that she'll want to show off to everyone, and balancing that with not being too much for her tastes.

I think for the ring itself, I'm going to go with white gold or platinum, which while more expensive, I think look less flashy than 18k gold, but when it comes to the diamond I'm lost.

• How much to clarity and color contribute to a diamond looking very fancy, or are these attributes I could invest in without worrying about them being too much for her taste?
• Are certain shapes associated with being fancy and others, not so much?
• How big is too big in terms of carats for someone that doesn't wear much jewelry or like fancy jewelry?
• Are there certain ring settings or styles that are fancy (to avoid) and ones that are simple (but still nice)?

Thanks in advance.

 

[04diamond<3]

Most of your questions should be directed at your girlfriend. We can't tell you what her expectations are and what gaudy to one person is may be simple to someone else. It depends on her taste. A simple solitaire is timeless and classic so for someone who doesn't wear much jewelry that'd be the safe route if you can't ask her about it. I always suggest to get the biggest and best in your opinion stone and change the setting to something else later on if she wishes. What is your budget? the clarity depends on what you feel comfortable buying. There are plenty of gorgeous Si2's out there and some I1's that can be eye clean and you can get for a lower price. But to find an I1 that's eye clean is a very hard thing to do! We typically suggest Si1 for clarity and color really depends on your taste. I'd say if you're getting a round you can find some I's that face up pretty white...

 

[JulieN]

• How much to clarity and color contribute to a diamond looking very fancy, or are these attributes I could invest in without worrying about them being too much for her taste?
• Are certain shapes associated with being fancy and others, not so much?
• How big is too big in terms of carats for someone that doesn't wear much jewelry or like fancy jewelry?
• Are there certain ring settings or styles that are fancy (to avoid) and ones that are simple (but still nice)?

Thanks in advance.

1. None. Except perhaps a pink diamond of excellent color and good size. There are "fancy" colors but I assume you are looking at a "white" diamond.
2. Anything not a normal round brilliant is called a "fancy cut," but again, not what you mean. A white modern round brilliant is considered /dreadfully/ dull and boring by some people. A victim of its own popularity, I suppose.
3. 5 cts is enormous. 3 cts is quite sizeable. The 7-8mm diameter round is common among my circle.
4. Superbowl-style rings may be considered too fancy those of us who are not professional athletes.

 

[urseberry]

If you're not sure about how much to spend or how large of a stone to get, look to her married or engaged female friends and relatives for guidelines. Either ask them directly what they think she would like, or check out their rings.

Is the ring a surprise, or can you ask your partner her opinion?

 

[tweeter8177]

If your girlfriend doesn't want "gaudy", I would suggest a round diamond...it is traditional and timeless. I would associate gaudy with large (but that is a personal definition...I don't think 3ct is gaudy but others might ) and extravagant settings. Probably stick to a plain solitaire or solitaire with pave diamonds on the shank. As far as clarity, I don't think IF is gaudy but you can't see it so why pay for it? I would stick with VS or SI diamonds (SI for me). Now color...I personally don't think color makes a diamond gaudy, so go with what looks great to you, probably g or h is the most common (I like I's personally to balance good color and price point)....

 

[marrying]

Tiffany is all about the branding and the name. It is highly recognizable and women just love that little turquoise box. In terms of quality and price you would be better off buying the ring elsewhere. You will pay a considerable amount more for a Tiffany engagement ring and you can find a ring with the exact same specs in terms of cut, color, clarity, and carat weight for a fraction of the price.

 

[VRBeauty]

My take on "too fancy" would something flashy with a lot of pave work, or an extreme cut... and large stone. Personally, I think a GOG August Vintage round or cushion, in a relatively simple setting, would be ideal for someone who might like something beautiful but understated. I'd also keep the center stone around one carat or less. Consider a setting that has lovely claw prong (which might require a handmade setting). That combination will give her a ring that's not in any way flashy or gaudy, but still unique and top quality.

ETA - here's an example - 1.16 AVC in a Mark Morrell setting (could also be done without the side diamonds) - YUM! https://www.pricescope.com/communit...ark-morrell-modified-petite-torchiere.134997/

And here are a bunch of examples! https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/show-me-your-avc-avoec-diamonds.123446/

 

[Christina...]

I agree with VRB. I would keep it classic and timeless. A simple solitaire with a beautifully cut diamond in a shape or specialized cut that you think she would like. If she were to decide that she would like to 'bling' it up a bit, then she could add a diamond wedding band or two. I think keeping it simple in these situations is always the way to go.

If you work with a vendor with a return policy,which of course HIGHLY recommended, then you could allow her to pick out her own setting after the proposal. That allows you the surprise proposal you want, and her the opportunity to select her dream ring.

 

[krede60]

Thanks, this advice is helping a lot. It seems like a round solitaire diamond ring is a good starting point.

@04diamond<3 - I agree my girlfriend would be best to direct these questions to, however I want to make the proposal a surprise. I've taken opportunities like when her brother got engaged to ask a lot of questions and get her talking about engagement rings to gather as much information from her without spoiling the surprise of the proposal. I'm comfortable spending around 10k on the ring, but from what information I got directly from her, I think she'd feel uncomfortable wearing something that expensive. I don't want to get her something she feels obligated to wear but doesn't feel secure wearing.

@urseberry - Unfortunately I don't really have chances to ask any of her engaged or married close friends and family without risking her or others overhearing and potentially ruining the surprise. I do plan to enlist her sister's help in making sure whatever I select is someone she'd like.

@VRBeauty - Those examples look great and definitely not too flashy. That claw setting looks like a nice way to do 4-prongs without worrying too much about one of them breaking.

@Christina... - I hadn't realized I could get a return policy, which makes a lot of sense. I'll make sure to do that in case setting isn't her style.

 

[TC1987]

The average first engagement diamond for young couples is a .75 - .8ct round. (5.8 - 6mm round) That's what I see here, and my local jewelry salesmen out here in smalltown America say it's .5ct - .75ct, down from 1ct prior to 2008-2009. The target for most upgrades and anniversary purchases is 1.5ct, 7.4-7.5mm

Sounds like a solitaire style is what you want. Look through the stones under1ct and see if that's along the lines you are thinking of.
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/under-1ct-diamonds.25028/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/under-1ct-diamonds.25028/[/URL] (Start on last page and work back, to see current trends.)

I don't know young women who received small diamonds like .25ct or.33ct. That might be the norm in some places, like small towns or Europe. Nowadays, I think that a .6ct is about the minimum that I have seen.

I don't thing that a 1ct round brilliant too big. When I was married, my e-ring was a .8-something that faced up at 5.9mm. I thought it looked small, so I had it remounted in a Stuller illusion head and that gave it an overall larger outer diameter. After I divorced, I bought myself a 6.4mm 1ct, and then I later upgraded to a 1.25ct and then bought an estate diamond that is 7.87mm. Something in the 1ct - 1.25ct (6.3mm - 7mm Round stone) is a nice size for daily wear. A few years ago, 1.25ct was selling for only about 10% more than 1ct and it gave you a lot more look for just 10% higher cost.

Healthcare workers are mostly going to be prohibited from wearing rings other than a plain smooth band for infection control reasons. If they aren't now, they will be in the future, so there isn't much point in choosing a setting based around that anymore, in case that applies. I just mention it because I've seen that mentioned more frequently lately. Many hospitals have stated that they prefer no rings at all, and that if one insists, it has to be a plain smooth band with no stones or carvings.

 

[Niel]

what budget does she feel comfortable wearing?

I agree i would get her a solitaire. No side diamonds no pave just a simple solitaire. If shes more classic, id say a 6 prong tiffany style, if she is more sporty, i would say a bezel. I think a bezel would be super low key and i think it might actually make her feel more comfortable wearing a slightly more expensive ring. Its very secure, and also make a ring feel "everyday"


If you WANT to spend 10k, there are ways to do that without her necessarily knowing it. A branded cut like the fancy ones sold at GOG will cost more for the same CTW. That way if you feel obligated to pay a certain amount, you can without her looking at it and saying "wow he must have spent a fortune!"

like this
http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/8866/

I think honestly you could use any shape and as long as its a solitaire its not going to look too fancy ( sans a heart).

I mean you could get a bezel set E/W marquise, and no one will say "look how blingy that is!"

So i think take the idea of a solitaire and run with it. Figure out from there what it is she likes, how does she dress, what kind of girl is she? Girly? Sporty? Indie? a vintage style girl? Classic?

 

[krede60]

what budget does she feel comfortable wearing?

I mean you could get a bezel set E/W marquise, and no one will say "look how blingy that is!"

So i think take the idea of a solitaire and run with it. Figure out from there what it is she likes, how does she dress, what kind of girl is she? Girly? Sporty? Indie? a vintage style girl? Classic?

I think she'll feel a little uncomfortable no matter what with anything over 5k. She's the kind of person who can't fathom paying a couple hundred dollars for a high-end purse or shoes. It's not that I feel I need to spend more money, but I want to budget enough to get a ring that I could feel proud to have gotten her.

I like the idea of the bezel set or doing a different shape (to spruce it up a little) as a solitaire. The bezel set looks pretty secure, and I've no doubt part of her disinterest in an expensive ring is fear of losing the diamond.

As for her particular style, I'd say its simple and reserved. Lots of earth tone colors, no skirts and only dresses on special events, very little makeup. She doesn't even like to window shop at high-end clothing/accessory stores.

 

[Niel]

Do you know what kind of metal she is partial to? Because if you'd describe her as being a bit earthy I think of a low set bezel in a brushed metal 18k rose gold. Or even 18kyelkow gold. For some reason I feel like those give off a very earthy vibe.

Is her style sort of earthy? Or just jeans t shirt?

 

[Niel]

or if she is earthy, something from JA might be perfect!

http://www.jamesmeyerjewelry.com/pieces/1450.htm

 

[krede60]

Is her style sort of earthy? Or just jeans t shirt?

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. SHe wears a lot of earth tones, not any loud colors like orange, yellows, pinks, etc, but jeans and a t-short (usually a light 2nd layer) is more descriptive of her style.

As for metals, I'm not really certain, but I was thinking platinum would not look as flashy but would also be really nice. The rose-gold looks like a nice alternative to yellow-gold too though.

 

[heididdl]

Do you know what kind of metal she is partial to? Because if you'd describe her as being a bit earthy I think of a low set bezel in a brushed metal 18k rose gold. Or even 18kyelkow gold. For some reason I feel like those give off a very earthy vibe.

Is her style sort of earthy? Or just jeans t shirt?

NIel I love the first suggestion it is simple bezeled and elegant. Any girl would be happy with something like this. I understand that she doesn't like you to spend money . However getting a beautifully cut 1 carat diamond makes the engagement so much sweeter.

 

[Niel]

Is her style sort of earthy? Or just jeans t shirt?

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. SHe wears a lot of earth tones, not any loud colors like orange, yellows, pinks, etc, but jeans and a t-short (usually a light 2nd layer) is more descriptive of her style.

As for metals, I'm not really certain, but I was thinking platinum would not look as flashy but would also be really nice. The rose-gold looks like a nice alternative to yellow-gold too though.

Oh OK. Makes sense. I do think a bezel would be nice still. They seem casual, secure, and simple. If you get her a round I would probably go though Brian Gavin. They have amazing bezels. If you wanted a fancy shape, I'd probably go though engagement rings direct. They made that rose gold one that I posted.


Getting a fancy shape is a bit more ballsy if you don't know she will like it, so a round is usually safest. But if you think she would like something slightly more unique, a round or a step cut stone would probably be pretty in a bezel too.

 

[krede60]

Thanks again for all the advice. I've spent the past few days looking at way too many diamonds to recall and looking at all of the suggestions. The more I see, the more I'm liking the idea of a solitaire Marquis. I agree with you Niel that anything other than round is a little risky given what info I have, but I don't want it to be too plain. I really like this stone:

http://www.b2cjewels.com/dd-3737916-1.02-carat-Marquise-diamond-D-color-VS2-clarity.aspx

Based on the reading I've done, this seems like a great value (I'd love to see pictures of the actual diamond). I was thinking of this or something like it in a simple platinum ring. Thoughts?

 

[Niel]

there is no way to tell if thats a good stone without a picture. Unlike round stones that are fairly easy to find based of numbers alone, fancies dont give us that same luxury. The problem with marquise in particular is that a poorly cut one can have 2 problems: the tips can lack sparkle, and the center can have a large black line though it called a bowtie. You need to be sure to avoid both of those. So basically its important to find places that can provide you good pictures of the stone.

Do you think you'll do a prong solitaire or a bezel? have the marquise facing N/S or E/W? Who do you plan on getting the setting through? I ask only because i think these things will help you decide were you want to get the stone (also the NSEW part is just interesting to me) If you were going to have it in a normal solitaire and have it N/S, i would contact Good old Gold and have them find you one. If you were going to do it EW in a bezel, id contact Engagement rings direct (by phone not their website) and discuss it with them.

I personally think marquise are beautiful, but not everyone does. They, like pears or ovals, dont quite have the same sparkle as rounds. But if your girlfriend likes something unique I think its a lovely idea. Plus something about a bezel set e/w marquise or oval seem to really say "casual" to me. Also, they face up larger, so I do think itll help with you wanted to get a ring you really want to show off, because itll look like a larger ctw than it really is....Also, to be on the safe side, id get a chubby one. They end up looking more like pointy ovals, i thin they are really beautiful and unique stones if you can find one. Ill post a picture in a second so you know what i mean.

with that said, just make sure shell love a marquise before you take that leap. I give you a friendly warning, but honestly personally i think if your going for a bezel marquise, it really could be stunning.

 

[Niel]

Here's what I mean. I say its safe because they don't look like "80s power suit " marquise, but softer cuter stones. also i aded an actual picture of someone with a ew setting, easier to visualize

 

[krede60]

I've thought with the ones I've seen that I want to avoid them being too thin if I go with marquis. Oddly, when I started looking at diamonds the marquis shape was one of the first I ruled out (I thought it looked a deflated oval), but the more stones I saw pictures of, the more I liked the idea of of N/S marquis in a 6-prong setting. E/W just seems like it goes better with the bezel setting.

I didn't realize Good Old Good would find diamonds for customers, but that sounds like a great way to get an idea what stone/setting combinations are feasible.

Even with a round diamond, I'm not rushing to buy something without some assurances she'll like it. I'm hoping that's where her sister can help out, because I know I'm going to keep trying to find ways to make it unique. Maybe an oval or cushion would be less risky and still make it less generic.

 

[Jumpin_Jacks]

I feel like if she's a classic, low key gal a round solitaire either at the .9 or 1.1 mark will be really nice, spend the money now on the best stone. Also suggest the prong setting, bezel I feel is a love or hate it style. And as others have mentioned, a place that will let you upgrade your setting later if she feels she wants something with a more subtle pop.

 

[pomellina]

I feel like if she's a classic, low key gal a round solitaire either at the .9 or 1.1 mark will be really nice, spend the money now on the best stone. Also suggest the prong setting, bezel I feel is a love or hate it style. And as others have mentioned, a place that will let you upgrade your setting later if she feels she wants something with a more subtle pop.

This is what I would recommend too.

I don't wear a lot of jewellery and it is not common in the UK to have very large engagement rings so we opted for a 0.42 ct diamond, which I am really pleased with and cost the equivalent of $1850 (including sales tax @ 20%). I think here the usual size is between 0.25-0.75 ct because of the cost; I've certainly not noticed anyone wearing anything larger!

For what it's worth, I would not go over 1.5 ct for someone who does not wear much jewellery and I would probably stick to around 0.75-1 ct if your budget allows it and your girlfriend likes a larger diamond. Otherwise, you can get some lovely diamonds around 0.5 ct and, while my tastes certainly lean towards the more, shall we say, discreet for everyday wear, I don't think they are too small! (Whether you think they are too small depends on what the normal size is where you're from! Certainly my engagement ring seems to be a really ordinary size amongst my friends, perhaps even a bit bigger than some, but then again - we are in our mid-20s and just 'starting out' with our careers and focused on buying our first homes, etc.)

To cut a long story short, get a solitaire (you can always change the setting to something fancier in the future) as it's timeless and beautiful. Get it in yellow gold if she likes yellow gold - see what her earrings are made from, as it will provide you with an indication. If she likes silver/white-coloured jewellery, look into platinum and white gold. And if you want your wedding rings to match, think about what you'd like to wear when the time comes too!

You can't go wrong with a solitaire, in my opinion. You may prefer something more intricate or unusual but they are so simple it's hard to dislike them!

You may also want to consider getting a really delicate three-stone ring. Something like this would be really pretty: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/so-proud-of-my-elegant-3-stone-e-ring.185109/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/so-proud-of-my-elegant-3-stone-e-ring.185109/[/URL]

Here's a link to the above ring on BGD: http://www.briangavindiamonds.com/engagement-rings/three-stone/pear-sidestones-with-shoulders-18k-white-gold-5367w18 I think this is the ideal sort of ring for a girl who doesn't want something fancy (which I have interpreted as big/flashy/ostentatious) but still wants something to show off!

 

[krede60]

Thanks for the additional input. I think given that me and my girlfriend are in our 30's closer to 1ct or just above it may be more in-line with expectations. I really like the idea of getting a much better quality diamond in the .9 to .99 carat range though. The best recent comparison I have is her brother's fiancee's ring, but I know that it's basically the opposite of what she'd want.

I've been toying around with some of the parameters on Ritani's website (using that right now mainly because they offer free shipping to a local dealer to preview the rings in person and decide if I want to buy or not) and because they offer a great price on a platinum solitaire setting if I decided to go that route.

Diamond A:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-1-00-Carat-G-color-GIA-certified/D-CFQPNM
Diamond B:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-1-21-Carat-I-color-GIA-certified/D-ZFM6R3
Diamond C:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-0-90-Carat-D-color-GIA-certified/D-DJ5VVQ

Basically, I'm looking at the following comparisons (all 3 diamonds are label Ideal cut with Excellent Symmetry and Polish):

Diamond A is 1ct, G color, VS2 clarify and 5.9k
Diamond B is 1.2ct, I color, VVS2 clarity and 6.5k
Diamond C is .9ct, D color, VVS2 clarifty and 5.4k

To me, Diamond C looks superior, but I don't know how much a difference the upgrades in color and clarity will make vs the difference in size. Also, all 3 diamonds of a strong blue flouresence. From what I've read flouresence really only shows under a black-light or similar lighting conditions. If that's the case I actually rather like the idea of a diamond that would give off her favorite color under specific & infrequent lighting conditions.

 

[jmarshall]

I didn't realize Good Old Good would find diamonds for customers, but that sounds like a great way to get an idea what stone/setting combinations are feasible.

If they have to "call in" stones that aren't in house to find what you are looking for, I believe they charge a small, non-refundable deposit ($50) to cover their costs in searching for the stone, then they credit you this towards the purchase of the stone once you select one.

 

[jmarshall]

Do you have any parameters on Color/clarity?

This is a nice stone http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/11000/

Here's another http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/10776/

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/10636/

 

[distracts]

I'd just get her a one carat ideal cut round in a solitaire (no pave). It's classic, it's not huge (but also not tiny, so in any circle it should be a size she's comfortable with), pairs well with any kind of wedding band, and I think if she's not really into jewelry it would be right up her alley. I'd stick with 1-1.25 carats, G/VS1 or thereabouts, and a platinum setting. Which, well, can easily run you 10k. Honestly, if you have budgeted 10k and feel comfortable spending that/can afford it, I'd do it and just trust that she'll adjust. I was really uncomfortable with the amount my e-ring cost at first (heck, it was more expensive than what I paid for the car I was driving) but once it's on your hand you just get used to it and don't even think about what it cost.

Something like this combo:
http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2715450.htm
http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/contemporary-tiffany-style-solitaire-engagement-ring-1415.htm

 

[msop04]

Diamond A:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-1-00-Carat-G-color-GIA-certified/D-CFQPNM
Diamond B:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-1-21-Carat-I-color-GIA-certified/D-ZFM6R3
Diamond C:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-0-90-Carat-D-color-GIA-certified/D-DJ5VVQ

Basically, I'm looking at the following comparisons (all 3 diamonds are label Ideal cut with Excellent Symmetry and Polish):

Diamond A is 1ct, G color, VS2 clarify and 5.9k
Diamond B is 1.2ct, I color, VVS2 clarity and 6.5k
Diamond C is .9ct, D color, VVS2 clarifty and 5.4k

To me, Diamond C looks superior, but I don't know how much a difference the upgrades in color and clarity will make vs the difference in size. Also, all 3 diamonds of a strong blue flouresence. From what I've read flouresence really only shows under a black-light or similar lighting conditions. If that's the case I actually rather like the idea of a diamond that would give off her favorite color under specific & infrequent lighting conditions.

Personally, I'd rather have the 1.2 I with fluorescense! When comparing a 0.9 and 1.2, there is a significant size difference...

I do feel that the VVS and D/E/F color (especially in combination) is overkill though. You would be paying a premium for something that most eyes would likely not be able to appreciate or distinguish. Since you said your girlfriend doesn't want you to spend so much, you could go down a little in color and clarity and be able to give her a larger stone without her feeling bad about the money! You could definitely go VS and/or G/H and still have a white, eye clean diamond!

Best of luck to you - excited to see what style setting you choose!

 

[msop04]

I'd just get her a one carat ideal cut round in a solitaire (no pave). It's classic, it's not huge (but also not tiny, so in any circle it should be a size she's comfortable with), pairs well with any kind of wedding band, and I think if she's not really into jewelry it would be right up her alley. I'd stick with 1-1.25 carats, G/VS1 or thereabouts, and a platinum setting. Which, well, can easily run you 10k. Honestly, if you have budgeted 10k and feel comfortable spending that/can afford it, I'd do it and just trust that she'll adjust. ...once it's on your hand you just get used to it and don't even think about what it cost.

Something like this combo:
http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2715450.htm
http://www.whiteflash.com/engagement-rings/solitaire/contemporary-tiffany-style-solitaire-engagement-ring-1415.htm

I agree with distracts. The classic solitaire works for almost anyone and never goes out of style!

 

[bunnycat]

Diamond A:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-1-00-Carat-G-color-GIA-certified/D-CFQPNM
Diamond B:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-1-21-Carat-I-color-GIA-certified/D-ZFM6R3
Diamond C:
http://www.ritani.com/diamonds/round-diamond-0-90-Carat-D-color-GIA-certified/D-DJ5VVQ

Basically, I'm looking at the following comparisons (all 3 diamonds are label Ideal cut with Excellent Symmetry and Polish):

Diamond A is 1ct, G color, VS2 clarify and 5.9k
Diamond B is 1.2ct, I color, VVS2 clarity and 6.5k
Diamond C is .9ct, D color, VVS2 clarifty and 5.4k

To me, Diamond C looks superior, but I don't know how much a difference the upgrades in color and clarity will make vs the difference in size. Also, all 3 diamonds of a strong blue flouresence. From what I've read flouresence really only shows under a black-light or similar lighting conditions. If that's the case I actually rather like the idea of a diamond that would give off her favorite color under specific & infrequent lighting conditions.

Personally, I'd rather have the 1.2 I with fluorescense! When comparing a 0.9 and 1.2, there is a significant size difference...

I do feel that the VVS and D/E/F color (especially in combination) is overkill though. You would be paying a premium for something that most eyes would likely not be able to appreciate or distinguish. Since you said your girlfriend doesn't want you to spend so much, you could go down a little in color and clarity and be able to give her a larger stone without her feeling bad about the money! You could definitely go VS and/or G/H and still have a white, eye clean diamond!

Best of luck to you - excited to see what style setting you choose!

Of the Ritani ones you are looking at, the 1ct G seems to have the best numbers. Not all GIA XXX are created equal. It's a fairly wide category and you may have to do some weeding, like the 1.2 I. The 33 crown and 41.6 pavilion would give me pause on that one. The .9 D also has a steeper crown paired with a pavilion over 41.

I would agree that a solitaire around 1ct with the best quality cut you can get would be a good option. I wouldn't rule out also taking a long view and going with somewhere like Good Old Gold who has a fabulous upgrade policy. You never know. What a person likes in their 20's and 30's is not what they may like 10 years later.

I also could care less about fancy shoes and purses, but do appreciate a really quality piece of jewlery (best cut, not necessarily D IF). And an engagement ring is not a fancy purse. It's an engagement ring and is meant to be worn long term and I think it should be special.

http://www.goodoldgold.com/diamond/10831/