So. basically, your sister is sociopathic. I bet she would latch on to some old person who has means and because they are near the end, hang on to them so she can rob them blind!! Wow, with a sister like that, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to sleep with your husband. Now wouldn't that make you mad??I just wanted to explain that when I give a recounting of something similar that happened to me, It's not that I'm trying to shift the focus off of the OP, it's just to say "hey, it's true. There are really crappy self-centered people out there, who you *think* you know, but really don't. At least not thru and thru". I'm just trying to say you're not in this boat alone. There are posters who don't know me, but PB is very used to me and my recounting of life events to help people understand that "yeah, this sh-t-y thing happened to me too". No one is one-upping here. I love PB to pieces.
GQ, I was disowned by said-sister 24 yrs. ago when I got engaged and they all realized that they couldn't ask me for things and favors anymore because I had a very important "new" person at the center of my life. She said she always counted on me being the spinster sister who was a doormat. OK now where is that eye rolling emoti? Technically, I'm not sure I could be called the spinster sister since I was with my first husband for eleven years, then I have to remind myself that I got caught in her game not knowing the rules.
My apologies, dear Pinto -- I thought I'd posted this publication from the City Bar Association when I found it, after you mentioned that you were interested in exploring the possibility of a pet trust. http://www2.nycbar.org/pdf/report/u...orYourPetintheEventofDeathHospitalization.pdf
(I double-checked the bills enacted in the 2017 legislative session; the City Bar's handbook, issued in 2016, is still au courant; for us New Yorkers, it's the best of the ones I looked at.)
Little sun in NYC today, but the Greenmarket had huge, honkin' sunflowers! If you bring flowers or plants into your house, do your kittums leave them alone? Our dearly departed Zach regarded any blooms and houseplants as special treats imported just for his noshing : - /
I'm so angry at myself for crying right now.
FIL called me with this cold tone. He said that they plan on putting Mike's ashes in the mausoleum within 2 weeks. He said he's in a safe place right now. :rollHe said they had to pick out the right niche - not too high, low enough that people can touch the marble. He said everyone is in bereavement right now and still grieving. I said that I wanted him in his permanent place ASAP. He said well you didn't want the ashes, but I explained that I didn't anticipate it taking over 2 months to put him in his final resting spot! I thought it was wake, funeral, crematorium, mausoleum! I said I could always pick him up and bring him to the cemetery, and they could do their ceremony later. Then he pulled the Catholic card. He said the priest has to be there to bless the niche before he's placed in it. I said but Michael was agnostic. I asked him to respect my wishes as Michael's spouse of wanting him in the mausoleum ASAP, to which he replied well HE was his father for 38 years, and he raised him Catholic, and this was never relayed to him. (Hmmm... his mom even agreed that he'd be mad that there was a funeral mass but she didn't care.) I said that if he hadn't been cremated, his body wouldn't be out for over 2 months! Then FIL said well the cremation business was new to him. I said, isn't it a Catholic thing for the ashes to be treated the same as the remains if they had not been cremated? That's when he pulled the Catholic card again and said no it's a personal thing, and sometimes people scatter the ashes or keep them forever at home, and I wouldn't know because I'm not Catholic. Then I brought up that Catholic friends of mine are wanting to go see his final resting place, and are alarmed when I say that he isn't interred yet, and that they pointed out this is not the Catholic way of doing things. He said that they can call him up and he can explain it.
I'm done. I'm so disgusted. I could use lots of TLC right now - FB, IG, e-mail, phone, PS responses, etc.
Thank you @longtimelurker and others for pointing out the Out-laws' hypocrisy
I feel like getting a priest I know to ring your FIL and tell him he is wrong, the ashes should have been placed to rest
They don't have a priest. Since I've known them (late 200 they don't go to church regularly. Ergo the hypocrisyWould it be worth reaching out to their priest ? I am not local enough to know ... we sure do this sort of thing (between Orthodox & Catholic denominations).
I am only not making waves with the out laws bc I KNOW I did the best I could with my husband when he was ALIVE. It's not worth my energy fighting with his family now.
I need a break!!!
- running around like a chicken with it's head cut off...
... before I can finish explaining that I'm there to pick up this form, one officer has snatched the bag of goodies and run off with it!