I'm a widow

[december-fire]

So, did you wake up in time? What do you think of the new cleaning lady?

 

[valeria101]

.
I never know which time zone I'm in either ,-(

 

[PintoBean]

So, did you wake up in time? What do you think of the new cleaning lady?

Haha I woke up super early bc I was anxious. She was much nicer than our initial meet and greet and she did a very good job.

Guys, I had an interview today. A legit TDF job. Please send me lots and lots of dust!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Huge piles of dust coming your way PB!! Please keep us posted!

 

[december-fire]

Oh, Pinto, that's fantastic news!!!

The part about the interview.
Although, being awake on time for the cleaning lady and her being nicer than the initial meeting is also great to hear.

Sending tons of dust! The company should be tripping over themselves to have you as an employee!

 

[Matata]

Please send me lots and lots of dust!

I wanted to post an image of a bucket of magic pixie dust so I googled and got this EPIC fail!
Anyway...sending tons of PS dust your way and all digits are crossed that you get the job.

 

[yennyfire]

Hi PB,

Just stopping in to check on you. Glad that your new cleaning lady was nicer than you'd expected and that you made it through Thanksgiving. I can only imagine how different this holiday season is compared to last, but know that you aren't any less lovable to us! You have touched the lives of so many here. Screw your family...they aren't worthy of you!

I say you should try something different this year. Serve meals at a shelter on Christmas Eve or volunteer at a nursing home...something that will make you feel useful and needed.

Sending gentle hugs your way!

 

[Calliecake]

Sending truck loads of dust to you Pinto Bean!

Please be kind to yourself in the coming weeks. You are lovable and there many people here to tell you so anytime you have a bad day. We will be happy to let you know how much you are loved and appreciated. Hugs

 

[azstonie]

So much TDF job dust to you! You're due for something wonderful!

 

[AGBF]

Just caught up with the thread, PB. You are inspirational as always. Sending love and hugs.

(((PintoBean)))
Deb

 

[CareBear]

PB, I hope your interview went well! Crossing all fingers and toes!

 

[elle_71125]

Blowing some magic good luck dust your way...

 

[MollyMalone]

TRUCKLOADS of dust!!

 

[Calliecake]

Hi Pinto Bean, I'm just checking in to see if you are doing ok. Sending hugs, love and dust your way.

 

[PintoBean]

Hi Pinto Bean, I'm just checking in to see if you are doing ok. Sending hugs, love and dust your way.

Thanks calliecake!

It's going to be tough. The holidays plus my birthday in January. Being a January baby, oftentimes the weather would prevent any get togethers so it often would just be me and Michael on my birthday.

 

[Queenie60]

Think of you every day Pinto. Sending prayers and love your way.

 

[AGBF]

Thanks calliecake!

It's going to be tough. The holidays plus my birthday in January. Being a January baby, oftentimes the weather would prevent any get togethers so it often would just be me and Michael on my birthday.

I hope it's not early January, at least! Coming right after Christmas would mean your birthday would be virtually ignored.

Deb

 

[PintoBean]

I hope it's not early January, at least! Coming right after Christmas would mean your birthday would be virtually ignored.

Deb

Yup it's January 9. Surprisingly, a lot of friends have birthdays or family members with birthdays around that time lolol. I was a week late and a surprise so I've surmised that I'm an April Fool's joke gone wrong. Hahahahhahahahaa

 

[PintoBean]

My mom has returned from her 2 months of fun. She really just asked me if I went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving and asked me if they've called, to which I responded have YOU called them?

Oh, no, I'm so busy she says, who has time to call, I don't even call my own relatives. What's the big deal of relatives anyway.

Then she proceeded to ask me a question then talk over me for the rest of the phone call. Welcome to the world of adle brained narcissist mums.

It's tiring, it's lonely.

 

[PintoBean]

Continued vent. We went over for the umpteenth time what my monthly expenses are. She told me to be more thrifty, so I asked her what I should cut - my cobra? My maintenance? My mortgage? The cellphone plan I added dad too?

I asked her if she brought anything back for me. Instead of answering directly she said oh your dad likes the pineapple cakes made here more. Ummm I never even asked for pineapple cakes?

Oh she wanted to know if I lost any weight or found a job.

I really hoped that my parents would be there for me now that Mike passed but they're even more self involved than ever.

I'm not even going to bother asking what they're doing for Christmas bc I know my mom will reply - you're too old for presents. Ummm but you're not too old to get $1,000 from me in the past on holidays?

 

[mochiko42]

Big hug, PB. Some family members are oak trees, who provide shelter and support. Others are more like stinging nettles or poison ivy (i.e. best kept at a safe distance)...

 

[Calliecake]

Oh Pinto Bean, (((gentle hugs))). I don't even know how to respond other than to tell you how sorry I am. Is there anything I can do to help you?

Unfortunately @mochiko42 comment is true.

 

[PintoBean]

Oh Pinto Bean, (((gentle hugs))). I don't even know how to respond other than to tell you how sorry I am. Is there anything I can do to help you?

Unfortunately @mochiko42 comment is true.

Thank you for the gentle hugs. They truly mean a lot. Just knowing you're here is comforting. It's the worst feeling having parents 15 minutes away that are incapable of being supportive.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I am sorry about your mom, Pinto Bean. I am excited for your new job opportunity. Much dust headed your way! I hope that the holidays will give you time to relax and maybe hang out with a few people you like. Hugs and prayer!

 

[Matata]

PB, please stop being a doormat for your parents. From the picture you paint, nothing you say or do will stop you from being the object of unjustified criticism especially from the woman who birthed you. She is not a mother. The harder you try to gain approval, the more she will hurt you. The issue is hers not yours. I know how hurtful it is to have parents who are not there for you, who disappoint at every turn and I can say from experience, that the sooner you develop a thick skin or cut ties, the better off you will be. You don't need them, you just think you do. The moment you walk away and she realizes she has no power over you, she'll begin to grovel just to get you back so she can hurt you again. She needs professional counseling. Hugs.

 

[AGBF]

My late father sometimes did therapy with little children. I remember him saying about a little girl that he saw for therapy (and since I, also, am a social worker, he had given me some general information on the parents) that the parents didn't deserve her. That's how he would feel about you, PintoBean, and how I feel, too. Sometimes there is a sweet, adorable little child who just shines...and some callous parents who have no idea what a gem they have that just want the child "fixed".

Hugs,
(((PintoBean)))
Deb

 

[december-fire]

Big hug, PB. Some family members are oak trees, who provide shelter and support. Others are more like stinging nettles or poison ivy (i.e. best kept at a safe distance)...

@mochiko42 , love this! So true!
Its up to us to determine how we will allow others to impact our lives.

 

[december-fire]

PB, please stop being a doormat for your parents. From the picture you paint, nothing you say or do will stop you from being the object of unjustified criticism especially from the woman who birthed you. She is not a mother. The harder you try to gain approval, the more she will hurt you. The issue is hers not yours. I know how hurtful it is to have parents who are not there for you, who disappoint at every turn and I can say from experience, that the sooner you develop a thick skin or cut ties, the better off you will be. You don't need them, you just think you do. The moment you walk away and she realizes she has no power over you, she'll begin to grovel just to get you back so she can hurt you again. She needs professional counseling. Hugs.

@Matata , yes!

@PintoBean , you mentioned your Mother is narcissistic. You cannot change your Mother, your Mother will not change, the only person who will suffer the consequences of this relationship will be you. You've been very generous to your Mother in the past, but now its time for you to focus on your financial security and your happiness and sanity.

Matata is absolutely right! A narcissist needs an audience. Ignoring them is like walking out of a theater mid-performance.

Focus on what's best for you!

You'll be surprised how wonderful life can be when you make choices based on your health and happiness.

Sending lots of hugs and hoping you'll realize you deserve, and can have, so much better in your life if you make a few different choices. Consider what you would advise one of us if the roles were reversed.

 

[BlingDreams]

Ah PB, I'm so sorry you continue to get pooped on by your Mom. I have a sister who is very similar, and recently decided to sever that tie. It's just too toxic to my state of mind. I hope you find peace and comfort in those who think you're ABSOLUTELY worth 10,000 carats of diamonds, in any shape/size/color you desire!!

Gentle hugs, my friend.

 

[valeria101]

... what I should cut..? ... The cellphone plan I added dad too?

Could you cut off your progenitors for some months ?