I'm a widow
- Thread starter PintoBean
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Merry Christmas PB - hope you were able to enjoy some of the holiday spirit!
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Hope you got through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day intact, PintoBean. I started to get nasty-that is, I growled- more than once when Donald Trump's name came up (in a positive way) by my husband and great-nephew the only two retrogressive members of my extended family). I cannot control myself yet, which is a character flaw I plan to work on, but I managed to stop in time not to ruin Christmas. A growl is not a brawl. Next time I hope to repress/suppress the growl. 
Just on Christmas, mind you, or family occasions that I should not be ruining.
Deb
Just on Christmas, mind you, or family occasions that I should not be ruining.
Deb
Elizabeth35
Brilliant_Rock
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PB--I have not followed this entire thread.
But I think I read a post where you mentioned perhaps writing.
Do you journal or keep a diary?
Just a thought---this thread combined with your journal/thoughts as you go through this process of being a very young widow could make an excellent piece. You have received such love and support here through an extremely difficult time. I wonder if you could use this as a starting point for a writing project? Your personal thoughts/feelings/experiences interspersed with posts would be really impactful.
Best wishes for 2018! You are a very strong woman.
PS--Just think how you could incorporate family members
But I think I read a post where you mentioned perhaps writing.
Do you journal or keep a diary?
Just a thought---this thread combined with your journal/thoughts as you go through this process of being a very young widow could make an excellent piece. You have received such love and support here through an extremely difficult time. I wonder if you could use this as a starting point for a writing project? Your personal thoughts/feelings/experiences interspersed with posts would be really impactful.
Best wishes for 2018! You are a very strong woman.
PS--Just think how you could incorporate family members
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Speaking of Family Members 
- my mom is so ridiculous I can't be mad I just have to laugh.
On the phone today -
- you need to lose weight. Do 10 sit-ups a day. I saw you from the car yesterday and your stomach looks bigger. Your dad just showed me an article where ugly fat people are less employable. Your face is still cute. You need to be more active.
- have you met any boyfriends? Have you asked your friends to introduce you to guys? There are plenty of unmarried men around. You just need to lose weight. I get a lot of male attention at my age because most of my peers are overweight.
I swear to god we live in perpendicular universes. Not parallel. Perpendicular. This phone call was one of the times where the two universes intersected.
- my mom is so ridiculous I can't be mad I just have to laugh.On the phone today -
- you need to lose weight. Do 10 sit-ups a day. I saw you from the car yesterday and your stomach looks bigger. Your dad just showed me an article where ugly fat people are less employable
. Your face is still cute. You need to be more active.- have you met any boyfriends? Have you asked your friends to introduce you to guys? There are plenty of unmarried men around
. You just need to lose weight. I get a lot of male attention at my age because most of my peers are overweight. I swear to god we live in perpendicular universes. Not parallel. Perpendicular. This phone call was one of the times where the two universes intersected.
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Speaking of Family Members
On the phone today -
- you need to lose weight. Do 10 sit-ups a day. I saw you from the car yesterday and your stomach looks bigger. Your dad just showed me an article where ugly fat people are less employable
- have you met any boyfriends? Have you asked your friends to introduce you to guys? There are plenty of unmarried men around
I swear to god we live in perpendicular universes. Not parallel. Perpendicular. This phone call was one of the times where the two universes intersected.
Speechless. I mean... what the....??!
I still don’t get it. Is this her way of showing concern or is she just THAT inept at being a decent human being, let alone parent?!
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She claims concern and only she as my parent would tell me the truth.
Speechless. I mean... what the....??!
I still don’t get it. Is this her way of showing concern or is she just THAT inept at being a decent human being, let alone parent?!
Oh yeah, she advised me not to buy clothing that's too big or else I'll think I'm thinner and grow into it. Oh and not too tight either bc that makes you look heavier.
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- she's special...
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You've got a pimp !
They go perpendicular, you go parallel, KWIM ?
I was not a widow when I cut ties - just on my own, with a brand new job of the brilliant kind that barely pays anything. The first end of year ... I was so happy to be, finally, wihtout that burden, that I did not do much at all - just listened to the absence of pain ,-)
You've got a pimp !
They go perpendicular, you go parallel, KWIM ?
I was not a widow when I cut ties - just on my own, with a brand new job of the brilliant kind that barely pays anything. The first end of year ... I was so happy to be, finally, wihtout that burden, that I did not do much at all - just listened to the absence of pain ,-)
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I think I'm able to laugh because I'm getting better at being like "it's not me it's her..."
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In a way, yeah ... it is a 'hilareous' think to tell anyone to their face 'you are impossible to love' ! Perhaps she trully is very sincere: to whom else could a mother tell that she HATES her children, if not to the children ...
You might know better what kind of hate that is ... even your being young, facing likely nice choices ahead ...
.-(
In a way, yeah ... it is a 'hilareous' think to tell anyone to their face 'you are impossible to love' ! Perhaps she trully is very sincere: to whom else could a mother tell that she HATES her children, if not to the children ...
You might know better what kind of hate that is ... even your being young, facing likely nice choices ahead ...
.-(
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It's annoying to hear from my neighbors that the in laws updated the tree shrine again...I mean really? Michael would be so upset!
He doesn't like attention drawn on him, especially when it highlights something negative. He'd be mortified that they're keeping a shrine at his accident spot.
He already hated that his family had to make a big to do about things like every birthday when he was an adult. I used to try to calm him down by giving my parents as the opposite extreme.
I always loved the fact that I found out about the shrine from my neighbor, not from my in laws.:roll
So back to the boyfriend thing. I procrastinate nowadays with the colder weather on doing things. I sleep a lot. I crochet. Clearly I'm tripping over single men left and right. And as you can see, I'm currently rocking a "patrolling for men" outfit, down to the mismatched socks.
He doesn't like attention drawn on him, especially when it highlights something negative. He'd be mortified that they're keeping a shrine at his accident spot.
He already hated that his family had to make a big to do about things like every birthday when he was an adult. I used to try to calm him down by giving my parents as the opposite extreme.
I always loved the fact that I found out about the shrine from my neighbor, not from my in laws.:roll
hahahaha at this point I'm looking for a perfect TV dude lololol... that's it. No real dudes for me. I mean for the love of god, I still have one more piece of widow administration (it snuck up on me) that I have been procrastinating on. Nice to find out from my attorney when we had the initial meeting about the will that I need to show that the amounts reflected in the letters of administration are in the estate account and then I can close the estate account. Tomorrow I'm going to the dermatologist in the AM so I'll make a pit stop at the bank on the way home to deposit some money into that account and get a statement printed. Then I'll try to put together my incomplete family tree for the attorney.Ermergerd. Like you're looking for a dude. (Are you?). At least your face is cute. WT Actual F?! Oh mom.
So back to the boyfriend thing. I procrastinate nowadays with the colder weather on doing things. I sleep a lot. I crochet. Clearly I'm tripping over single men left and right. And as you can see, I'm currently rocking a "patrolling for men" outfit, down to the mismatched socks.
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Pinto, I love your 'patrolling for men" outfit!
It doesn't scream "I'm a high maintenance woman!".
Your mother's comments made me think of the day I introduced my now-ex-MIL to one of my sisters.
Her comment to my sister "You'd be cute if you lost weight."
Charming.
It doesn't scream "I'm a high maintenance woman!".
Your mother's comments made me think of the day I introduced my now-ex-MIL to one of my sisters.
Her comment to my sister "You'd be cute if you lost weight."
Charming.
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She claims concern and only she as my parent would tell me the truth.
Oh yeah, she advised me not to buy clothing that's too big or else I'll think I'm thinner and grow into it. Oh and not too tight either bc that makes you look heavier.
PintoBean, My best friend would just tell you to move to Maine. Apparently that's a great place where men love big women. I used to be big enough for Maine. Now she says I'm not. But it's OK because I know she loves me and she and I tried to lose weight all our lives together. (She had a mother like yours.)
Now at around 110 pounds I get the opposite comments but I can take them (after a lifetime of fat abuse). At my father's memorial service a woman I knew said to me, "Why don't you gain 15 pounds and grow some boobs?".
The unfair things is that I don't ever have boobs, even when I am over 200 pounds, which I have been! So I might as well be thin!
Don't Let the B*stards Get You Down! And that goes for mothers, too!
Hugs,
Deb
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When & where are such things mentionable at all !
When & where are such things mentionable at all !
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Loving your hello kitty outfit! Where can I buy one? We can be crazy cat lady twins!
Where can I buy one? We can be crazy cat lady twins!
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Loving your hello kitty outfit!
Before Christmas I found mine on Macy's and Century 21's site, but the stock is low now when I searched Hello Kitty. Nordstrom Rack seems to have lots of options now! We can start the crazy cat lady club and this will be the uniform https://www.nordstromrack.com/brands/Hello Kitty
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OMG, I cannot believe the things some people will say! Insane. I don’t know how some of you have stayed out of jail. I would want to smack some of these people upside the head.
PB, you have been in my thoughts. Any word about your interview for the job you loved? I think you should run by the shrine your in laws set up and take it down. My, would that be satisfying. I understand they are helpful to some people but I hate them, and they make no sense to me. Since Michael would have hated it, down it would go for me. And if they put it back up, I would take it down again and again. I’m evil that way. I would probably enjoy doing it too. Not usually that passive aggressive but I would make an exception in this case.
PB, you have been in my thoughts. Any word about your interview for the job you loved? I think you should run by the shrine your in laws set up and take it down. My, would that be satisfying. I understand they are helpful to some people but I hate them, and they make no sense to me. Since Michael would have hated it, down it would go for me. And if they put it back up, I would take it down again and again. I’m evil that way. I would probably enjoy doing it too. Not usually that passive aggressive but I would make an exception in this case.
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Once ?
_
I have not realized what a nice thing it is, that the couple of graves that mean something to me are otherwise forgotten ! Good thread, this.
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Pinto, I keep my eye on you and what you are doing... I always feel such dejection because I can't make things better, it's just time.. time... You have great friends and your pix are always so cool.. I believe in you.. I'm sorry loneliness happens, when life smacks you upside the head, throws you under the bus, then I'm sure just getting up can be a trial.. remember I'm out here in the netherworld or on IG and I care seriously. 2018! hope it's a year of hope for you.
Kate
Kate
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https://www.nordstromrack.com/brands/Hello Kitty
I can't find any in a small or medium.
The hunt is on. I will be a part of this club!
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@elle_71125, not the same as PB's but cute and available in small and medium. https://www.target.com/p/women-s-hello-kitty-two-piece-pajama-set/-/A-52356839#lnk=sametab
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