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That type of judgmental non-sense just shows how selfish so many people are. I'm sorry you had to see those and that they were even made @PintoBean .
I'm a widow
- Thread starter PintoBean
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Just chiming in to say HI Pb...so glad you are done with all that paperwork! Thats a big accomplishment!
You continue to be an inspiration to me (and most here on PS)...you have made considerable strides in 5 months
and we all want you to continue on that healing path. Emotional healing takes time...many times longer than physical.
Ignore those comments on-line...what if it were one of THEIR love ones...they woudlnt care if it took all freakin day
to clear things up. Very selfish on their part.
Love seeing your kitties on IG...for some reason I thought you only had 3 but now know there are 4. Your little Bella
is so adorable in her outfits! My cats would go into hiding if I tried to dress them up! They dont know what they're missing!
Take care and have a great Turkey day!!!
You continue to be an inspiration to me (and most here on PS)...you have made considerable strides in 5 months
and we all want you to continue on that healing path. Emotional healing takes time...many times longer than physical.
Ignore those comments on-line...what if it were one of THEIR love ones...they woudlnt care if it took all freakin day
to clear things up. Very selfish on their part.
Love seeing your kitties on IG...for some reason I thought you only had 3 but now know there are 4. Your little Bella
is so adorable in her outfits! My cats would go into hiding if I tried to dress them up! They dont know what they're missing!
Take care and have a great Turkey day!!!
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At least the newspaper removed the dam' comments from the archive - perhaps not least to wipe up the rag's feckless exposure of you ! Yet, they idiots do have to endure commentators every day for the rest of their ever more precareous lives, whether you ever wished it on them or not ...
2c
At least the newspaper removed the dam' comments from the archive - perhaps not least to wipe up the rag's feckless exposure of you ! Yet, they idiots do have to endure commentators every day for the rest of their ever more precareous lives, whether you ever wished it on them or not ...
2c
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I just want to say that it's ... a big adjustment(?) spending Thanksgiving without the in-laws.
I guess after almost 7 years of the same/similar routine for the holidays you start getting used to it.
It's definitely quieter and ...quieter loll without the chaos of helping with menu planning, figuring out what to wear, what time to go so we don't end up arriving too early, my DH grumbling that we stayed too long bc I kept yackety yacking with his parents and he was tired and wanted to go home...
I guess after almost 7 years of the same/similar routine for the holidays you start getting used to it.
It's definitely quieter and ...quieter loll without the chaos of helping with menu planning, figuring out what to wear, what time to go so we don't end up arriving too early, my DH grumbling that we stayed too long bc I kept yackety yacking with his parents and he was tired and wanted to go home...
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Pinto Bean, Glad you posted an update today as I was thinking of you. You made it thru today and that's all you needed to do. I hope your dinner was nice with your neighbors. It's been obvious in your posting that they love you. They have your back. Hugs
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My gp increased my Rx and if there is no improvement with anxiety and stress we will have to look at a combo :roll
It's been awfully quiet and I blew way too much money this past week, no this past month
.
I wasn't eating well this past month, so I ended up with bad coughing fits that alternated between dry coughs that were so strenuous that I'd pee myself and wet coughs. I finally got it under control by increasing my acid reducer and taking it with each meal.
My girls have been enjoying leftover turkey with me. Mama has 2 bites and the 4 babies each get one nibble lololol.
It's been awfully quiet and I blew way too much money this past week, no this past month
.I wasn't eating well this past month, so I ended up with bad coughing fits that alternated between dry coughs that were so strenuous that I'd pee myself and wet coughs. I finally got it under control by increasing my acid reducer and taking it with each meal.
My girls have been enjoying leftover turkey with me. Mama has 2 bites and the 4 babies each get one nibble lololol.
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Dread is free here. You spend money on it ? ,-(
I can't possibly describe my EOY. It is ... surreal. I have a page of 2018 calendar with the earliest month I know may well contain nice news: June. Got to get there ! .-)
Dread is free here. You spend money on it ? ,-(
I can't possibly describe my EOY. It is ... surreal. I have a page of 2018 calendar with the earliest month I know may well contain nice news: June. Got to get there ! .-)
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My gp increased my Rx and if there is no improvement with anxiety and stress we will have to look at a combo :roll
It's been awfully quiet and I blew way too much money this past week, no this past month
I wasn't eating well this past month, so I ended up with bad coughing fits that alternated between dry coughs that were so strenuous that I'd pee myself and wet coughs. I finally got it under control by increasing my acid reducer and taking it with each meal.
My girls have been enjoying leftover turkey with me. Mama has 2 bites and the 4 babies each get one nibble lololol.
Not eating regular meals messes with my stomach acid. The acid, lack of food (when I slip on watching), and just stress mess with my sleep. Then all that piles on to my anxiety. It truly is an ugly cycle.
I hope you can get your body into a regular pattern again and your anxiety starts to go away.
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@PintoBean , Hopefully the increase in your meds will begin working quickly. The Holidays are stressful and anxiety inducing for many people all on their own. Please be kind to yourself. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Please don't beat yourself up over shopping. Every woman alive has weeks were we spend too much money.
Please don't beat yourself up over shopping. Every woman alive has weeks were we spend too much money.
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Wow wow wow :roll
I went to speak to my attorney with my realtor in tow lololol (bc I trust her brain to fill in gaps for me) about getting a will in place.
All I need to do is get a family tree of my parents' siblings and optional their kids, so I ask my dad. My dad's response? Oh, can I just make up the names if I don't know the exact spelling? No - this could call into question if I was of sound mind. Well, I don't feel like calling people I'll just write whatever. Ummm no... And they need this too! Wtf - I haven't spoken to my grandma or my aunt or my dad's half brothers in 15-20 years. I haven't spoken to my mom's siblings in 5-10 years. My parents speak to these family members regularly. It's unspoken but acknowledged that my parents purposely ostracized me and kept me out of the loop bc I'm overweight. (And sometimes spoken - mom, Mike and I would like to take a trip to visit relatives after we get married. No, it wouldn't be a good idea to go bother relatives. Plus they'd be shocked if they saw you. No one believes me when I say you've gained weight.)
Why do you need a health proxy or a living will? Just focus on getting a job. You don't have kids anyways.
Ummm bc my husband just died and not having any written direction of how to proceed led to my in laws bulldozing me? That's something I'd like to prevent from happening to other people if and when I drop dead? I'd like to TRY to make sure my cats are provided for?
It's so funny bc my mom being a narcissist led to me being too empathetic. My parents being so difficult led to me always wanting to simplify things for others. My parents always being so secretive is why I rarely lie and am very open. Lololol... I guess this how I rebelled lololll...
I went to speak to my attorney with my realtor in tow lololol (bc I trust her brain to fill in gaps for me) about getting a will in place.
All I need to do is get a family tree of my parents' siblings and optional their kids, so I ask my dad. My dad's response? Oh, can I just make up the names if I don't know the exact spelling? No - this could call into question if I was of sound mind. Well, I don't feel like calling people I'll just write whatever. Ummm no... And they need this too! Wtf - I haven't spoken to my grandma or my aunt or my dad's half brothers in 15-20 years. I haven't spoken to my mom's siblings in 5-10 years. My parents speak to these family members regularly. It's unspoken but acknowledged that my parents purposely ostracized me and kept me out of the loop bc I'm overweight. (And sometimes spoken - mom, Mike and I would like to take a trip to visit relatives after we get married. No, it wouldn't be a good idea to go bother relatives. Plus they'd be shocked if they saw you. No one believes me when I say you've gained weight.)
Why do you need a health proxy or a living will? Just focus on getting a job. You don't have kids anyways.
Ummm bc my husband just died and not having any written direction of how to proceed led to my in laws bulldozing me? That's something I'd like to prevent from happening to other people if and when I drop dead? I'd like to TRY to make sure my cats are provided for?
It's so funny bc my mom being a narcissist led to me being too empathetic. My parents being so difficult led to me always wanting to simplify things for others. My parents always being so secretive is why I rarely lie and am very open. Lololol... I guess this how I rebelled lololll...
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I would have to go to the population registry to get this sort of information [usually required in official form anyway]. Perhaps there some equivalent in your part of the world ?
___
Family are not friends, uness they are. I might have a couple of friends in my clan. For the rest, I would have to go to the registry to get their names too ...
I would have to go to the population registry to get this sort of information [usually required in official form anyway]. Perhaps there some equivalent in your part of the world ?
___
Family are not friends, uness they are. I might have a couple of friends in my clan. For the rest, I would have to go to the registry to get their names too ...
DH and I wasted several thou on estate planning (2 wills, a trust, POAs, etc) in order to disinherit my parents, his brother, and to leave our assets to the guardian of The White Overlords (The Westies).
You can do all of that, including safeguarding the pets, on Solon.com, nolo.com, etc. For $50.
You can do all of that, including safeguarding the pets, on Solon.com, nolo.com, etc. For $50.
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You don't need a family tree of your parents' siblings and optional kids, unless you actually wish to designate one/some of them as a beneficiary in your will. And even if you did want to, you could say "to my father Benjamin smith's half-brother, Billiam, by his father's fourth marriage to Anna Buckle".
Plus, if you really haven't spoken to any of these relatives in like 15 years, (and especially if they are far older than you), are you really going to include them as your beneficiaries?
If you don't have a favored niece/nephew, godchild, friend(s)' kid(s), you can designate a charity or two, or a cat shelter or ACLU or whatever as your beneficiaries.
That will still make it easy on your parents, they won't have to worry one bit about it.
In my state, if you die intestate, first to inherit is a spouse. No spouse, it first goes to children. No kids, then to parents. No parents, then to your siblings. If you had siblings who predeceased you, then to their kids.
Not sure how intestate works in your state, but obviously it's better to have a will.
Further, you don't need a family tree because usually the older people will go before you, and you likely wish to ensure the financial wellbeing of someone who will be caring for your cats. Are you close enough with any of your half-aunts/uncles that you are seriously considering leaving them your money?
Pinto (((hugs))) estate planning is not easy, but YOU get to be the boss of what you leave to anyone. (I'm not leaving anything to my mom or brothers, and I get along with them.)
Plus, if you really haven't spoken to any of these relatives in like 15 years, (and especially if they are far older than you), are you really going to include them as your beneficiaries?
If you don't have a favored niece/nephew, godchild, friend(s)' kid(s), you can designate a charity or two, or a cat shelter or ACLU or whatever as your beneficiaries.
That will still make it easy on your parents, they won't have to worry one bit about it.
In my state, if you die intestate, first to inherit is a spouse. No spouse, it first goes to children. No kids, then to parents. No parents, then to your siblings. If you had siblings who predeceased you, then to their kids.
Not sure how intestate works in your state, but obviously it's better to have a will.
Further, you don't need a family tree because usually the older people will go before you, and you likely wish to ensure the financial wellbeing of someone who will be caring for your cats. Are you close enough with any of your half-aunts/uncles that you are seriously considering leaving them your money?
Pinto (((hugs))) estate planning is not easy, but YOU get to be the boss of what you leave to anyone. (I'm not leaving anything to my mom or brothers, and I get along with them.)
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NY is flipping PITA. I'm just going to do my dad as executor and trustee and guardian yada yada for now with mom as alternate.
The family tree Is probably bc we need to identify who are the immediate family members who could challenge the will or make a claim to the estate etc. when I filled out the forms for the surrogate court to get the letters of administration I had to identify each party that could claim an interest.
Honestly the family tree probably benefits my parents more than me if we are sticking to my parents siblings for now.
My plan is to direct a fixed amount of funds for the pets I predecease, if I predecease parents $$$ to my parents, and if everything goes according to the laws of nature pretty much my $$$ is going to the two rescue groups I adopted my 4 girls from.
Organs to be donated and put me into that oven Hansel and Gretel pushed the witch into after I croak.
My attorney and realtor are like - you have any friends to put as alternates? Sure - but my local friends are on drugs. It's that bad? Yeah it's like the 80s and the 90s are being relived bc we were too young to imbibe then:roll
The family tree Is probably bc we need to identify who are the immediate family members who could challenge the will or make a claim to the estate etc. when I filled out the forms for the surrogate court to get the letters of administration I had to identify each party that could claim an interest.
Honestly the family tree probably benefits my parents more than me if we are sticking to my parents siblings for now.
My plan is to direct a fixed amount of funds for the pets I predecease, if I predecease parents $$$ to my parents, and if everything goes according to the laws of nature pretty much my $$$ is going to the two rescue groups I adopted my 4 girls from.
Organs to be donated and put me into that oven Hansel and Gretel pushed the witch into after I croak.
My attorney and realtor are like - you have any friends to put as alternates? Sure - but my local friends are on drugs. It's that bad? Yeah it's like the 80s and the 90s are being relived bc we were too young to imbibe then:roll
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Um... Move to Washington. Seriously.
Our attorney did two medical powers of attorney, two general durable powers of attorney, and two wills (including disinherit and contest-proof) for under $300. (He is a very good attorney, well rated on marrtindale-hubbel, etc)
Our attorney did two medical powers of attorney, two general durable powers of attorney, and two wills (including disinherit and contest-proof) for under $300. (He is a very good attorney, well rated on marrtindale-hubbel, etc)
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$300 is less than the billable hourly rate my pledge sister wanted to bill me
and she wanted $2,000 retainer for the will and to take care of my letters of admin with the surrogates court. she talked over me when we had a phone convo repeatedly and was not listening to me at all... that's why I ended up seeking out my present attorney.
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Pinto, who cares about who gets the $$$!
First priority: cats.
Second priority: your incredible jewellery collection.
I hope when you get this new round of paperwork done, you will start to focus on you.
And your local friends do drugs?
First priority: cats.
Second priority: your incredible jewellery collection.
I hope when you get this new round of paperwork done, you will start to focus on you.
And your local friends do drugs?
Take care of your pets and the humans who will actually do this. Everyone else should go pound sand! Honestly, those parents of yours, since they're so *concerned* about your weight, give what you might've given them as a donation to Overeaters Anonymous
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Yeah it was great to reconnect with old classmates, but unfortunately I have to keep the interactions to dinner at restaurants. I particularly don't trust the ones who lie about their extracurricular activities.Pinto, who cares about who gets the $$$!
First priority: cats.
Second priority: your incredible jewellery collection.
I hope when you get this new round of paperwork done, you will start to focus on you.
And your local friends do drugs?
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This is the time of year where we'd be scrambling to put together Christmas and birthday presents for the in laws. Yeah it was mad annoying but not being consumed with these tasks leaves me saddened.
I also feel like I'm less lovable and easily forgotten...
I also feel like I'm less lovable and easily forgotten...
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Pinto, you are absolutely lovable, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent, funny, resilient, and a whole lot of other wonderful things! No one could ever forget you.
You're having to find a new path forward, and figure out new traditions, etc.
Its hard, but its not necessarily a bad thing.
Please try to be as objective as possible and look at the players. If you're dealing with people who were loving and thoughtful before your DH's passing, then they're probably still loving and thoughtful.
However, if some of the players were less than kind before, then do not expect them to suddenly grow a big heart.
I feel for you. This isn't easy. Please try to keep in mind that you are incredibly important to so many of us here. Your character and personality shine through so brightly in your posts. Try to surround yourself with people who are deserving of your time.
Sending you big hugs and continued wishes for strength and peace.
You're having to find a new path forward, and figure out new traditions, etc.
Its hard, but its not necessarily a bad thing.
Please try to be as objective as possible and look at the players. If you're dealing with people who were loving and thoughtful before your DH's passing, then they're probably still loving and thoughtful.
However, if some of the players were less than kind before, then do not expect them to suddenly grow a big heart.
I feel for you. This isn't easy. Please try to keep in mind that you are incredibly important to so many of us here. Your character and personality shine through so brightly in your posts. Try to surround yourself with people who are deserving of your time.
Sending you big hugs and continued wishes for strength and peace.
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PB, you can come spend Christmas with us and help me keep my 27 lb. cat from trying to run off with the turkey. He likes greens too so it will take a village to get the meal prepared. Can't lock him up because he'll destroy the room. Please help.
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Thanks. I try not to use it much to keep it clean
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Hahaha I might run away with him!!!! Omg he's too much!!!!!PB, you can come spend Christmas with us and help me keep my 27 lb. cat from trying to run off with the turkey. He likes greens too so it will take a village to get the meal prepared. Can't lock him up because he'll destroy the room. Please help.
So I'm already anxious as is about the new cleaning lady coming tomorrow at 9AM and ... a bad girl climbed on the coffee table and spilled a mug of coffee that proceeded to ruin an ottoman and splash the front of the sofa and the rug. To add insult the injury, one of the cats proceeds to scratch at the rug cuz I don't know that it reeks of coffee to begin with.
I soaked up what i could with towels and then dabbed with vinegar and water and vacuumed.
I'm afraid of not waking up in Time for the cleaning lady so I might fall asleep fully dressed or try to do an all nighter lololol.
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