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I think I may have to pull a bridezilla move. Help!

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emeraldlover1

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Ok, so I haven''t been 100% on board with my bridesmaid''s dress choice. The order is supposed to be finalized next week and I just found a different option that I think falls more in line with what I want my wedding to look like. Of course I am going to tell them that I think I found an option that is better than the original. My maids of honor love the new option and both want it. I have a few bridesmaids that will be upset. I feel bad because they all submited their info thinking that they were getting one thing so I hate to dissapoint at the last minute. What do I do?

Here is a link to the current dress: http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=2&sfid=50490&f=

Here is a link to the New Dress: http://www.priscillaofboston.com/dress_detail.jsp?gid=2&sfid=51016&f=

The dress color is Fig.

Should I offer both options? The material is the same so it won''t matter.

This all came about because the new dress is part of the new line and I just saw it tonight. I have to confirm the BM dress order next week. How should I address this. For reference my dress is here:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-visited-my-dress-with-more-pics.105488/

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-found-my-dress.94354/

And...here is an old thread about my bridesmaid dress dilema:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/please-help-pics-included-bridesmaid-dresses.100789/

Most of my decisions have been pretty easy and this one is just driving me insane and I need to make a decision and deal with it, now.
 

Elmorton

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Question - why will the bridesmaids be upset? If they're upset because they just don't want to change...then eh...I don't think it's a huge deal. If they're upset because that dress isn't as flattering or will be uncomfortable for them to wear for some reason (friend hates her cankles, or is large busted and will have a problem finding proper undergarments that work for the dress), then I think it's important to listen to that. If it's a cost issue, then I think that if you want to change, it would be up to you to make up the difference.

FWIW, offering both dresses is fair, but I just think the styles of those dresses are so opposite...having some BMs in a tea-length dress and some in a full-length doesn't seem fluid to me. Even if the full-length was altered to tea length...I dunno. The style doesn't seem to blend.

Personally, I really like the first dress (more than the second), and I think it looks fine with your dress (although I see why you like the second because of the shared elements), so I can understand why if a BM really liked the first dress, she'd be upset with a last-minute change.

ETA: I just re-read your post. Submitting their measurements and ordering another dress without input is kinda over the line. As in, I'd be p***ed if a friend did that to me - if I'm paying for the dress, I'd be livid, if it's the bride paying, I'd suck it up, but I would not be happy at all.
 

Deelight

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I can see why you like the new dress it is in a lot of ways more cohesive with your wedding dress.

One thing I see as a plus the new dress has more potential to be worn again it is shorter, really cute and quite funky. I would just explain it nicely to your girls and go from there, me personally I would not be disapointed because I like the new dress but I can''t speak on their behalf - hopefully they all love it as well.
 

Octavia

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I don''t know if it''s a "bridezilla" move, but I can see how people who liked the first dress might not be on board with the second one. They''re completely different styles, and I think the new one could be hard for a lot of people to wear comfortably. I''d vote for letting them choose which they want, except that the "feel" of the two dresses is so different that even having the same fabric might not make them mesh, if that makes sense. Is there a short version of dress #1? That might work...otherwise, I''m not really sure what your best option is, other than to tell them and see how they react...
 

emeraldlover1

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Date: 3/13/2009 11:31:05 PM
Author: Elmorton
Question - why will the bridesmaids be upset? If they''re upset because they just don''t want to change...then eh...I don''t think it''s a huge deal. If they''re upset because that dress isn''t as flattering or will be uncomfortable for them to wear for some reason (friend hates her cankles, or is large busted and will have a problem finding proper undergarments that work for the dress), then I think it''s important to listen to that. If it''s a cost issue, then I think that if you want to change, it would be up to you to make up the difference.

FWIW, offering both dresses is fair, but I just think the styles of those dresses are so opposite...having some BMs in a tea-length dress and some in a full-length doesn''t seem fluid to me. Even if the full-length was altered to tea length...I dunno. The style doesn''t seem to blend.

Personally, I really like the first dress (more than the second), and I think it looks fine with your dress (although I see why you like the second because of the shared elements), so I can understand why if a BM really liked the first dress, she''d be upset with a last-minute change.
The ones that will be upset will be upset because they aren''t the best with change. The new/second dress is actually cheaper though not by much.

I totally hear what you are saying with the dresses being different. They are and in my opinion too different for my tastes. I was hoping it might just make all of them happy.

The new/second dress is totally more the look I am going for but I don''t have to wear it, they do. The other thing is that my maids of honor like the new one and I really want them to feel like their opinion is important too.

I''m confilicted but I appreciate your input, a ton. Thank you.
 

emeraldlover1

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Date: 3/13/2009 11:35:12 PM
Author: Octavia
I don''t know if it''s a ''bridezilla'' move, but I can see how people who liked the first dress might not be on board with the second one. They''re completely different styles, and I think the new one could be hard for a lot of people to wear comfortably. I''d vote for letting them choose which they want, except that the ''feel'' of the two dresses is so different that even having the same fabric might not make them mesh, if that makes sense. Is there a short version of dress #1? That might work...otherwise, I''m not really sure what your best option is, other than to tell them and see how they react...
There is a short version of the the long dress but they didn''t like that one when they tried it on.

I thnk you are right with seeing what the reaction is. I just hate having to dissapoint people. I just love the second one.

Sigh. Thanks!
 

emeraldlover1

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Date: 3/13/2009 11:33:40 PM
Author: Deelight
I can see why you like the new dress it is in a lot of ways more cohesive with your wedding dress.

One thing I see as a plus the new dress has more potential to be worn again it is shorter, really cute and quite funky. I would just explain it nicely to your girls and go from there, me personally I would not be disapointed because I like the new dress but I can''t speak on their behalf - hopefully they all love it as well.
Thanks! You are totally speaking my language. I think it is more cohesive and I think that is the word that I am going to use when I speak with each of them individually tomorrow.
 

pocahontas

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EM1, I
the new dress! I think it''s gorgeous (I had voted for the grey dress in your original thread). I would just be honest with your maids and tell them what you''ve posted here about finding something you like better and which fits more with how you had envisioned your wedding, then apologize for any disappointment. At the end of the day, I think your girls would want you to be happy and it''s not like you''ve selected something that''s form-fitting and unflattering, ya know?! Good luck!
 

JulieN

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I think your wedding dress is gorgeous!

But, as to the BM dresses, I think they are both unfriendly to anything other than a perfect, curvy, hourglass shape. And, compared to each other, I think they suit different figures.

However, I don't think it is a bridezilla move to pick the dress.
 

emeraldlover1

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Date: 3/13/2009 11:46:06 PM
Author: JulieN
I think your wedding dress is gorgeous!

But, as to the BM dresses, I think they are both unfriendly to anything other than a perfect, curvy, hourglass shape. And, compared to each other, I think they suit different figures.

However, I don''t think it is a bridezilla move to pick the dress.
JulieN....you think the new dress would only be good on hourglass? I thought the grey one would, maybe...but the new blue one I was thinking would look pretty good on everyone.

Good to know no one thinks its bridezilla of me to pick a new dress. I really, really like the new one.
 

JulieN

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I'm a really skinny rectangle with no boobs or butt, and those styles would be impossible for me to pull off.

The old one, to me, clearly needs some boobage to pull off well, which the model doesn't have.

The new one... I've seen this look most successfully on the hourglass type. The model has her hands in the pockets the whole time, which creates an illusion of her having wider hips. Also, it has no waist definition, which I think it just difficult to pull off.

ETA: for what it's worth, I've consulted my roommate (who is in fashion.) She thinks the short one if you expect it's summer/warm fall, and the long one for colder seasons. She prefers the long one if you have a wide range of body types.

The second one really is more in line with the tone of your dress. Maybe what I would do is say, hey, this is the new one. If you don't like it, you can pick a different one in the same length. (But dismiss that particular long one.)
 

Deelight

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Date: 3/13/2009 11:39:58 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
Date: 3/13/2009 11:33:40 PM

Author: Deelight

I can see why you like the new dress it is in a lot of ways more cohesive with your wedding dress.


One thing I see as a plus the new dress has more potential to be worn again it is shorter, really cute and quite funky. I would just explain it nicely to your girls and go from there, me personally I would not be disapointed because I like the new dress but I can''t speak on their behalf - hopefully they all love it as well.
Thanks! You are totally speaking my language. I think it is more cohesive and I think that is the word that I am going to use when I speak with each of them individually tomorrow.

Your welcome HTH :), good luck hopefully it goes well :D.
 

missjaxon

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EM1 , I really adore the new dress! I also have to agree that the new dress could easily be worn again and again and again! I would definitely talk to your BM''s just to make sure that they would be comfortable with a shorter dress. If I were one of your bridesmaids I would be super excited with the new dress, but again that is just me.
Let us know how you make out!
 

emeraldlover1

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Date: 3/14/2009 12:02:18 AM
Author: JulieN
I''m a really skinny rectangle with no boobs or butt, and those styles would be impossible for me to pull off.

The old one, to me, clearly needs some boobage to pull off well, which the model doesn''t have.

The new one... I''ve seen this look most successfully on the hourglass type. The model has her hands in the pockets the whole time, which creates an illusion of her having wider hips. Also, it has no waist definition, which I think it just difficult to pull off.

ETA: for what it''s worth, I''ve consulted my roommate (who is in fashion.) She thinks the short one if you expect it''s summer/warm fall, and the long one for colder seasons. She prefers the long one if you have a wide range of body types.

The second one really is more in line with the tone of your dress. Maybe what I would do is say, hey, this is the new one. If you don''t like it, you can pick a different one in the same length. (But dismiss that particular long one.)
Totally. There are four dresses that I found that are great options and the same color and material. I''m thinking that is the best idea. I''m totally done with the long dress.

Thanks for the input.
 

newsboysgrl777

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Jan 24, 2008
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Okay, I'm not going to be any help at all....I really, really like the OLD dress in your BM dress thread (the grey one). I admit I didn't read the whole thread to see why you didn't choose it, but it seems to have ALL the elements of YOUR gown (but would NOT downplay yours at all). I also just don't like the length of the new one. It doesn't seem to be 'tea length' to me, but 'at the knee'. (As far as I know, tea length refers to a dress that falls midway down the calf (midway between the knee and the ankle). I also don't like how it seems to just be a sack HANGING on the body with that poofy thing at the bottom. Also, I don't like the 'current' dress either. Again, it looks like a bunch of material just HANGING off of the person. I know there is some definition at the waist, but honestly? I think it's the straps that really make me dislike it. This looks, to me, like a pair of overalls. Even when the model is walking, it reminds me of a pantsuit. And, even on the skinny model, it's not flattering. I just don't like it at all. (I'm sorry!!)

HOWEVER, I am NOT in fashion and I don't know what's 'hot' and stylish and such, so you can totally disregard my opinion if you want. LOL. But, I'd say that with the way your dress is (and it's FAB!!), I'd go with a full lenth with something at the bottom that is reminiscent of your dress. I'm only suggesting that because, the fact that you're still looking at other dresses, means you're not totally in love with the 'current' dress that you've already chosen. However, if you really do like the current dress, just stay with it. I'm thinking for a September wedding in the mountains, the shorter one is just TOO short.

Anyway, like I said, I'm not going to be any help at all...but, I'll say this: your dress is LOVELY!!!! :) :)
 

FrekeChild

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Date: 3/13/2009 11:33:40 PM
Author: Deelight
I can see why you like the new dress it is in a lot of ways more cohesive with your wedding dress.

One thing I see as a plus the new dress has more potential to be worn again it is shorter, really cute and quite funky. I would just explain it nicely to your girls and go from there, me personally I would not be disapointed because I like the new dress but I can''t speak on their behalf - hopefully they all love it as well.
Ditto. I was thinking the same thing. The second dress is far more re-wearable in my opinion. I would be far more likely to wear it again, and the other one would just collect dust in my closet.

As for your rustic glam wedding, I think this second one fits better than the first, and that the grey one was probably too form fitting.

I think I''d stick with this one. It has the elements you were looking for, and I think it''s really flattering. Plus if your MOHs already like it, then who is to say the other BMs wouldn''t? I''d bring it up with them and go from there.
 

doodle

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i think the new dress is really cute, although i''m too thick through the middle to ever pull something like it off--i''d wind up looking like violet in willy wonka after she chews the three-course meal gum!! i think the length makes it more rewearable, too, and your wedding dress is lovely!
 

Winks_Elf

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OMG both your dress and the second BM dress are STUNNING!!! They definitely compliment each other.

Only one problem...not everyone can wear strapless. If any of the BM''s have a larger bust or don''t like their arms (you know, where the underarm is?), they are not going to feel comfortable in their dresses. Also, the shorter skirt - hope they have nice legs! All in all, the second dress is so much nicer than the first. I''m not loving the neckline on the first one.
 

emeraldlover1

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Quick update. I called the store this morning and the order has not been finalized. I am going in at 3pm today to take a look at the new styles and make a decision. I''ll post pics when I get back and let you know the final decision.
 

Haven

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I say tell your bridesmaids which dress you''d like them to wear for your wedding, and be done with it.

Of all the weddings I''ve stood up in, I''ve never been asked for input, and since I love all my friends, it was never an issue. I''ve been asked to wear dresses that definitely didn''t suit my body type, and guess what? I sucked it up. It was fine. I invested in some quality double-sided tape for the poorly cut strapless dress that didn''t quite hold in my girls, for example, and I survived.

For what it''s worth, I tried to have my bridesmaids choose their own dress, and it ended up being such a headache that they all wore different dresses in different colors in the end. I actually loved the outcome, because they all looked amazing and there wasn''t that weird adult-women-wearing-matching-dresses element, but the headaches that they gave me along the way were not worth it.
 

katamari

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I know that BM dresses can be expensive (if they are paying for them), but I think it is bridesMAIDzilla for them to give you any attitude if you change your mind. You should be able to make the final decision. You are being kind to listen to their input.

I think all of them would be pleased with the new dress. And, I honestly think it can flatter several body types because of the empire-unfitted-regathered structure (if that makes sense). It gives it a wide range of problem areas it could hide. It is really fashionable and highly rewearable. Plus, it is a little younger than the other dress. I obviously like the other MS dress, given my thread about it and the VW in a similar style, but I like it most for me for its age appropriateness. But, unless your BMs are in their 30s +, I think the second dress is a much better pick.
 

jstarfireb

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Date: 3/14/2009 2:46:20 AM
Author: newsboysgrl777
Okay, I''m not going to be any help at all....I really, really like the OLD dress in your BM dress thread (the grey one). I admit I didn''t read the whole thread to see why you didn''t choose it, but it seems to have ALL the elements of YOUR gown (but would NOT downplay yours at all). I also just don''t like the length of the new one. It doesn''t seem to be ''tea length'' to me, but ''at the knee''. (As far as I know, tea length refers to a dress that falls midway down the calf (midway between the knee and the ankle). I also don''t like how it seems to just be a sack HANGING on the body with that poofy thing at the bottom. Also, I don''t like the ''current'' dress either. Again, it looks like a bunch of material just HANGING off of the person. I know there is some definition at the waist, but honestly? I think it''s the straps that really make me dislike it. This looks, to me, like a pair of overalls. Even when the model is walking, it reminds me of a pantsuit. And, even on the skinny model, it''s not flattering. I just don''t like it at all. (I''m sorry!!)
You took the words out of my mouth. I also don''t love either of these dresses. Actually, browsing through the MS 2009 collection, there aren''t many I do like. Most of them are way too short and unflattering for my tastes, but this one is the exception. It has a universally flattering V-neck and would probably fall below the knee on most women. In terms of what will go best with your dress, this looks like a really nice option...the flowery stuff on the straps would look really nice with the ruffles on your train...but it''s also above the knee. Here''s another option for a knee-length dress.

I am also very insecure about my body type (and very small-chested), and if I were a BM faced with going from a longer style with more coverage to an above-knee style that looks like it needs some boobage to hold it up...yes, I would be upset. Would I still wear it? Of course, because the wedding is about the bride, but I would feel very exposed in that dress, and I''d probably be fidgeting with it the whole time. But your bridesmaids aren''t me...they may have a totally different sense of style, and they may be 100% confident about their bodies. But for me, any bridesmaid dress that hits above the knee would just have me thinking about how fat my knees look in it.
 

violet3

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I love the new dress! i didn''t get to read all the responses, because i am running late for work....but, i have to say that i have been a bridesmaid about five or six times and quite honestly i never had a problem with someone sayiing "this is the dress i picked for you girls." and that was that
I have been allowed to give my input at times, and other times it was just decided for me - either way, it didn''t matter to me and i was happy to wear whatever the bride liked best.

I think that both dresses are beautiful and i sure would love to have the shorter one to wear another time if i was one of them. i think they will like them! (and if not, i certainly wouldn''t call you a bridezilla). Let us know what they think!
 

emeraldlover1

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Ok, so I went to POB today to try on the new dresses. And we have a few winners. I''ve read all the responses and one thing that I wanted to address if there are others planning to get Melissa Sweet bridesmaid dresses is that the dresses in the runway show are altered to the model. In real life they are longer, actually much longer. I had a discussion with my consultant about it because I wanted to make sure that my taller girls dresses hit in the same place on the leg as the shorter girls. You''ll see in the pictures that I am about to attach. The taller girls are getting extra length and the bottom can be altered. The shorter dresses are also less expensive which is a bonus for all of them at the moment. Lastly... the dress I really like has removable straps. It also fits above the breast so no one will be falling out. I have a bra on in the pics and as soon as I took it off the dress fit me perfectly. Oh, since someone mentioned it my girls ages range from 27-31.

Jstar...It is apparent that we have completely different tastes but I do appreciate the input.
 

Clairitek

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I really look forward to the pics! I realllly love the new dress. A lot in fact. I would wear that myself in a heartbeat and I think it will jive so well with your gown. I hope that everyone gets on board with your choice!
 

emeraldlover1

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I''m thinking of offering two choices. Here is the first that myself and my two maids of honor love:

em1newbm.jpg
 

emeraldlover1

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From the front, hand in pocket. Side note...I''m getting really good at taking these pictures. I''ll know excatly what to do when I have my first dress fitting in June.

em1frontnewbm.jpg
 
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