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Help with a 5ct+ ring

diamondseeker2006

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I think that is a killer asscher, but it isn't going to be the size of a 5 ct stone in other shapes. However, you could set it in a fine pave halo and that would fix that problem! You could have them take it to Steven Kirsch or you could have them send it to Victor Canera.
 

bpc

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How do I get her ring size without asking?
 

diamondseeker2006

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VRBeauty

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By the way, I totally agree with Gypsy on this - talk to your girlfriend and get some idea of her thoughts on this.

It isn't just because you're about to spend a whole lot of money, though that is in itself a good reason.

It's because you're about to buy your gf a whole lot of ring, as in a very large ring that will be both visually and physically very noticeable on her hand... if she isn't comfortable with it both in terms of how it looks on her hand and how it feels to wear it, she might not want to wear it regularly.

It sounds like your expectation is that she's be wearing this ring regularly, so... you guys really should talk.
 

Sphene

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No do not ruin the surprise - go with the asscher there is not a person alive who would be unhappy with that choice and please do not halo it - keep it plain and simple and perfect

At that price you have the bargain of the century :appl:
 

Gypsy

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Sphene|1449305932|3957830 said:
No do not ruin the surprise - go with the asscher there is not a person alive who would be unhappy with that choice and please do not halo it - keep it plain and simple and perfect

At that price you have the bargain of the century :appl:


Talking to her isn't necessarily ruining the surprise.

He said that their friends had gotten engaged. He can bring up that ring and ask her thoughts on it for every day wear and ask some subtle questions.

Seriously, you advocate this guy spending more than most houses cost in all of Wyoming on a ring he's never seen with NO INPUT from the person that's going to wear it?

All for some "surprise"?
 

Sphene

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The cost of the ring is relative to how much the person has or earns sounds like its small change so spending a mere $70k aint that much when the budget can go up to $200k - once they are married she can buy another if shes ungrateful enough to turn her nose up at the asscher or whatever else is chosen.
 

yssie

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Sphene|1449314898|3957842 said:
The cost of the ring is relative to how much the person has or earns sounds like its small change so spending a mere $70k aint that much when the budget can go up to $200k - once they are married she can buy another if shes ungrateful enough to turn her nose up at the asscher or whatever else is chosen.
Small change?
Mere 70k?
Ungrateful?

I don't know where to start :confused: ;( :nono:

Count me in as another who advises talking to your intended to find out what she'd like best. It's a very expensive purchase, and it's something she may be wearing every day for many many years - she should be comfortable with it, whatever it is ::)
 

Wendylynne

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you could get her friends to help you. My friends knew what i wanted.. that way you'd have an idea if what she really wants - without ruining the surprise.

Keep in mind that a 5ct oval face up larger than other stones the same size. I ADORE a step cut.. but opted for an oval because i have size 8 fingers and love the coverage. Ofcourse if that yuketel stone was posted when i was hunting for a stone... i would have jumped all over that :)
 

Jambalaya

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While that asscher is indeed really gorgeous, it won't be so gorgeous in the eye of the beholder unless the bride-to-be happens to like step-cuts. For all we know, she doesn't like the strong angles of steps and prefers softer styles like oval. Step-cuts are a very specific style. For myself, I really love them, but we don't know if the bride does. I'm just saying, there's no point us all getting carried away over this lovely asscher if it's not the look she wants.

I agree that there are ways the OP could get some idea of her basic preferences, such as shape, without ruining the surprise. Is the couple close to her mother and could the OP enlist the mother for help? Perhaps her mother could subtly start a conversation about rings and jewelry - pretend she's looking for an anniversary ring for herself if she's married - and see what the daughter says about different shapes.
 

MollyMalone

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Sphene|1449305932|3957830 said:
No do not ruin the surprise - go with the asscher there is not a person alive who would be unhappy with that choice and please do not halo it - keep it plain and simple and perfect
Why on earth are you assuming that that everyone covets an asscher e-ring?
Sphene|1449314898|3957842 said:
The cost of the ring is relative to how much the person has or earns sounds like its small change so spending a mere $70k aint that much when the budget can go up to $200k - once they are married she can buy another if shes ungrateful enough to turn her nose up at the asscher or whatever else is chosen.
The idea that a woman should simply "suck up" an e-ring -- purchased without knowledge of-regard for her preferences -- makes my blood boil. And I'd be saying this no matter what the budget. Do you not believe, Sphene, that a gift, especially a non-returnable one intended to be worn daily for years to come, should be tailored to the recipient's tastes and desires?
 

LLJsmom

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I think every couple and person is different. Some women would love a surprise and love and would happily wear whatever is given to her. Other women may not feel the same way. I wonder what the OP's lady is like.

I too wondered if she would like an asscher. It is not everyone's cup of tea. However. Since the OP originally asked about an emerald or an oval, I thought the asscher would not be too far of a stretch.

OP, did your intended ask to be surprised? Would she be the type to love anything you choose? Or would she be very particular about the diamond and setting?
 

Gypsy

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MollyMalone|1449335330|3957911 said:
Sphene|1449305932|3957830 said:
No do not ruin the surprise - go with the asscher there is not a person alive who would be unhappy with that choice and please do not halo it - keep it plain and simple and perfect
Why on earth are you assuming that that everyone covets an asscher e-ring?
Sphene|1449314898|3957842 said:
The cost of the ring is relative to how much the person has or earns sounds like its small change so spending a mere $70k aint that much when the budget can go up to $200k - once they are married she can buy another if shes ungrateful enough to turn her nose up at the asscher or whatever else is chosen.
The idea that a woman should simply "suck up" an e-ring -- purchased without knowledge of-regard for her preferences -- makes my blood boil. And I'd be saying this no matter what the budget. Do you not believe, Sphene, that a gift, especially a non-returnable one intended to be worn daily for years to come, should be tailored to the recipient's tastes and desires?


Molly said it better than I could.
 

MollyMalone

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LLJsmom, I was pushing back against Sphene's stance that a woman should be grateful regardless of whether the ring appeals to her. I fail to see why anyone should be applauded for giving a loved one a present that does not bespeak of interest in what s/he actually would like.

One need not be "very particular about the diamond and the setting" to have preferences about an e-ring. And heaven knows, we've seen any number of posts through the years here from women who ask about whether-how to broach the topic with their fiancé re an e-ring that ill suits them, who wear it because they feel obliged to do so even tho' they wouldn't often wear it were it not an e-ring, or who simply don't wear the e-ring at all (or seldom don it). Those are sad, yet avoidable, scenarios in my view.

So it concerns me that bcp doesn't seem to yet know what would please his future wife. He's said he is looking for a "5ct+ pear, oval or emerald cut" because (a) although he doesn't think she cares much about the size of the center stone, "5 ct will get her-me past her friends", which is "an ego thing for [him]", and (b) he fears that a 5 ct round "is just too big for a finger," he thinks a stone of that carat weight "would look better rectangular than round."

Although I treasure the romantic, fun memories of ring shopping together with my then husband-to-be, I realize the element of surprise is important to some women. Still, as others have said, one can suss out the woman's preferences & still make the actual ring a happy surprise.

Re ring sizing, bcp: I would wait until you have decided upon the jeweler who will craft the ring for you & ask him/her about this. Odds are that they will suggest the MO described by MichaelE in this thread, but you will want to be on the same page as the jeweler.
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-do-you-properly-measure-ring-size-on-a-mandrel.199854/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-do-you-properly-measure-ring-size-on-a-mandrel.199854/[/URL]
Note that plastic mandrels-ring sizers are not recommended by those in the trade who posted in that thread (I don't know of any pro who likes them) & that even metal mandrels are not uniform across the board.
 

Tourmaline

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I wouldn't want an Asscher, and I am a live woman.
 

OCgirl

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Since OP mentioned he lives in Asia I just want to see if a few things are relevant here.
I just came back from Asia (I don't live there but I visit every now and then). I have a lot of friends in Asia and most of them are quite affluent. Ring buying and wearing are actually quite different there (but I'm making a generalization here since even in the states it differs from one person to another):
1) people in Asia care about color and clarity. They want high color and clarity. It doesn't matter what you can "see" or "cannot see." Some of my friends even asked me straight out what color is my diamond. I've never had anyone asked me that in the states. They have a fascination for D and E color diamonds... And VVS clarities. Even if you tell them their eyes won't be able to tell the difference between an E and a G... They'll tell you higher spec diamonds hold value better (whether it's true or not I don't know...).
2) people don't wear their engagement rings everyday. I saw maybe two ladies wearing their engagement rings the two weeks I was there. Most of them lock their rings up and take them out for special events. It's more a status symbol than a... Marriage symbol? And people are quite competitive there when it comes to material things.
3) a lot of ladies in Asia are still very traditional in a sense that they like to be surprised. Even if their bfs ask what they want (for gifts... Etc) they'll just say, "whatever you see fit." I know it's hard for us to imagine (because it's hard for me to imagine since I picked my ring) but it's considered demanding to say what you want out loud.
Again these are generalizations and without knowing where specifically in Asia OP is from these may not be true. What I do know is A LOT of traditions and culture are different over there and it may be hard for us here to imagine. But I believe it's important to give OP the best advice given where he is coming from. I apologize if what I wrote it not completely accurate.
 

simurgh

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Interesting thread! A few random thoughts:

I agree on getting her preferences if possible.

+1 there are huge cultural differences (in proposal and diamond preference, among other things) and Pricescope may not be a good cross section of the world. If bragging rights are an issue, considering whether color and clarity matter in addition to visual size and actual weight might be a thought.

+1 not everyone loves asschers, and they face up smaller, so if looking large is a priority, you may need a higher carat weight

+1 if you dont get her preferences, an emerald will be elegant (imo it's the shape that gets big without getting gaudy the best) and seems like the safest choice as it was one you identified originally, and for a comfortable fit the east/west size can be managed, there are no points to beak off. I would not get a marquise - the shape is much less popular, the points may be inconvenient and it will look huge but not in a good way.

Both mandrels I've bought online have been really wrong. Both were expensive enough that they should have been right. This is not to knock online shopping, more mandrels in general. What ive ended up doing is using the mandrel to see where a ring goes to, then using a ring sizer to find a ring that goes to the same point on the mandrel, and use that ring size as the answer. Ymmv

Unless you're having fun getting into a certain level of detail shopping, i dont think you need to make this an exhaustive search and delay things .... This board attracts people who enjoy the detail and process of shopping for diamonds and optimizing the purchase - why rush a fine wine? - but that's not everyone's cup of tea. The experts you have here and at goodoldgold are excellent, and maybe your and your girlfiend's lives will be better (more fun?) being engaged soon - you can find a high quality diamond you want quickly.

In case this hasn't occured to you, you could propose with a fake ring (or the "everyday" ring, if the idea of two rings caught your attention; note the second one could be an eternity, or a colore stone) and then shop together.
 

HockeyChick

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I'm with the previous poster...propose with a temp ring and let her pick her own. A ring that pricey that she will wear for the rest of her life isn't something you want to surprise her with. There's no way, without a discussion, that OP knows what she wants. She may not have even told her friends what ring she wants and maybe she herself doesn't even know yet and would like the chance to shop around.

I'm in this situation now. I have a Pinterest page with some rings on it but after shopping in person, I've eliminated all of them so nobody but myself has any idea what I want. Not my friends, not my mother, and I even changed the shape of the stone I was focusing on after a little shopping. My SO and I have discussed this already and he wants me to pick it out myself since he knows that would make me happiest.

Also I wouldn't want an asscher. I'd certainly be grateful to receive a beautiful stone like that but I'd secretly wish I'd been asked or given the chance to pick. But every girl is different, she might not even want to pick her own out. I wouldn't risk it. Just talk to her and make the "when/how" a surprise OR propose with something temporary and take her to pick her own.
 

Gypsy

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I think that an Emerald or an Oval are the best choice if it is going to be a surprise.

Asschers face up small and are kind of a 'niche' cut plus the stones in an H, and as pointed out, it's a status symbol in Asia. Sticking to higher color and clarity is a much safer choice.
 

Sphene

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You are not sucking up any old crap - you are receiving a beautiful gift from the person you hopefully will be in love with until the day you die - metal and carbon to seal the deal are just a bonus by-product
 

MollyMalone

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The roster of pears, ovals and emerald shapes bcp listed in his first post are primarily high clarity, but because there's an SI1 & as low in color as I and J in the mix, it didn't seem that high color and clarity are must-haves. Hopefully, he will soon illuminate matters for us, so we can give, as OCGirl said, advice that better focuses on their particular circumstances.

I do think the assumption, often made by future fiancés who post here, that the woman wants to be totally surprised by the e-ring is an unfortunate one. (I wouldn't have surprised my husband by presenting him with a car that I purchased in the same kind of vacuum, ignorant of what he would most like & his priorities.) But if a surprise e-ring is indeed the woman's wish, ascertained by asking (not assuming), I agree it should be honored.


P.S. for HockeyChick: Like you, auditioning rings revealed that what I initially thought I wanted was not what we decided upon after I'd tried on a variety of rings with different shapes-sizes of center stones and settings. (And both my initial thoughts and the antique emerald & diamonds e-ring finally selected were very different from what my then husband-to-be would have purchased as a surprise because his father was a diamond dealer here in NYC and, I later learned, was lobbying hard for a bigger, blingier ring than was my tastes. So that's another reason I was happy that my almost-husband thought it would be great to make the e-ring, and wedding bands, a partnering project & proposed without a ring in hand ;)) )
 

alamana

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MollyMalone|1449410660|3958209 said:
P.S. for HockeyChick: Like you, auditioning rings revealed that what I initially thought I wanted was not what we decided upon after I'd tried on a variety of rings with different shapes-sizes of center stones and settings.

Same here. Had my heart set on a cushion ... then actually tried on rings ... and decided on a pear (a shape that I hadn't even been interested in trying on).
 

lovedogs

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alamana|1449424930|3958251 said:
MollyMalone|1449410660|3958209 said:
P.S. for HockeyChick: Like you, auditioning rings revealed that what I initially thought I wanted was not what we decided upon after I'd tried on a variety of rings with different shapes-sizes of center stones and settings.

Same here. Had my heart set on a cushion ... then actually tried on rings ... and decided on a pear (a shape that I hadn't even been interested in trying on).

+1 to this as well! I was "set" on either a pear shape or a 3-stone ring...until we actually tried on rings in person! Then I realized I much preferred a round stone in a halo style. It definitely made a huge difference to try on rings in person rather than just looking at what shapes appealed to me online. So I definitely agree with letting her be part of the process!
 

heididdl

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bpc

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High color and clarity are not must haves if the eye can't perceive it. So low clarity that is eye clean is fine. The Asscher is very nice, but is it really that amazingly special in terms of fire/how it sparkles? Or is it just that it is very cheap relative to what it should be worth? I think a larger face would have more wow factor

I'm thinking about bringing her into the process, but my current sense is that she would prefer the surprise.

GOG also suggested this
http://www.goodoldgold.com/ecommerce/6.01ct-i-vvs2-emerald-cut-diamond.html
 

HockeyChick

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lovedogs|1449427780|3958265 said:
alamana|1449424930|3958251 said:
MollyMalone|1449410660|3958209 said:
P.S. for HockeyChick: Like you, auditioning rings revealed that what I initially thought I wanted was not what we decided upon after I'd tried on a variety of rings with different shapes-sizes of center stones and settings.

Same here. Had my heart set on a cushion ... then actually tried on rings ... and decided on a pear (a shape that I hadn't even been interested in trying on).

+1 to this as well! I was "set" on either a pear shape or a 3-stone ring...until we actually tried on rings in person! Then I realized I much preferred a round stone in a halo style. It definitely made a huge difference to try on rings in person rather than just looking at what shapes appealed to me online. So I definitely agree with letting her be part of the process!

That's exactly the route I'm going down. Turned my nose up at round stones and halos at the beginning thinking that they were too trendy and overdone. Searched for pear settings all over town. Finally got my hand on a few large pears to try on and now I'm looking at round halos. There's a dang reason that RBs are so popular...it just took me a few weeks to figure that out :)

I haven't selected my ring yet so there's still a chance that I might switch yet again though. My pinterest was full of pears set in rose gold which I want nothing to do with now!
 

yitfeng

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