Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Help!!! I think my bf bought me a lemon!

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
I have been involved with the ering process, and I told my guy I love old cuts--antique cushions, OMCs, OECs, etc. He came back to me and said that the jeweler he is working with was very strongly opposed to these stones. Im really not sure why. I basically said that I knew he knew what I liked and I trusted the jeweler and I knew they would come up with something great. My guy very much wanted to surprise me, and the jeweler is well-regarded (he made khloé kardashian's amazing ering and the stuff in his shop is fabulous) so I trusted him.

Fast forward to last night: I happened upon the GIA cert for my diamond. And it looks like crap. It's a cushion modified brilliant (not my fave). I could get past that--I really don't want to hurt my guys feelings, but there are some worrying details on the report. Here are the issues that trouble me:
It's 1.55ct, but only 6.33x6.31--faces up small, no?
Table=65
depth=69
did my guy get "taken"??? What do I do?!?! He doesn't even know I know! I'm totally losing sleep over this!!!
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
9,667
you can't really go by the numbers for cushions...you have to go by images. those numbers don't really tell us anything, although the faceup size does seem a little smaller compared to other cushions online? if you trust this jeweler, it is entirely possible that he helped your BF pick a beautiful diamond.

although if you want an antique stone...why not work with a jeweler that likes them/stocks them/etc?

ultimately you have to decide if you want to trust your BF/this jeweler or be a little more involved in the selection process.
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
The first issue is the modern ushion- are you ok with having one. Secondly- you can't exactly buy by the numbers so it's totally possible your BF and the jeweler saw the stone and it's a real stunner.
 

yennyfire

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
6,576
Ditto to what slg and amy said. Unless you are totally opposed to a modern cushion, you'd have to see the stone to determine if you like it or not. I'd second the idea that if you love old stones, that's what you should have. There are several great jewelers who specialize in antique cuts, such as Singlestone, Jewels by Erica Grace (JBEG) and Old World Diamonds. Is there any way you can direct your bf here so that we can help him?
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
I an just beside myself. A modified brilliant cushion is not what I want, but I feel like I would rather learn to love it rather than tell him he made a mistake and force him to return it. Bottom line is that it has already been purchased. I dont even know how long he has had it and if return is even an option. I feel like such a brat, and I sort of feel horrible for even saying anything. But I also kind of feel like my bf went in there pretty blindly and just trusted what he was told. I'm pretty irritated that he paid the premium for a 1.55ct stone that faces up as small or smaller than a 1ct. I mean, I know how much he spent and it wasn't cheap!!! That kind of sucks, right?!?!
 

Lula

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 5, 2009
Messages
4,545
tuffyluvr|1316936311|3024903 said:
I have been involved with the ering process, and I told my guy I love old cuts--antique cushions, OMCs, OECs, etc. He came back to me and said that the jeweler he is working with was very strongly opposed to these stones. Im really not sure why. I basically said that I knew he knew what I liked and I trusted the jeweler and I knew they would come up with something great. My guy very much wanted to surprise me, and the jeweler is well-regarded (he made khloé kardashian's amazing ering and the stuff in his shop is fabulous) so I trusted him.

Fast forward to last night: I happened upon the GIA cert for my diamond. And it looks like crap. It's a cushion modified brilliant (not my fave). I could get past that--I really don't want to hurt my guys feelings, but there are some worrying details on the report. Here are the issues that trouble me:
It's 1.55ct, but only 6.33x6.31--faces up small, no?
Table=65
depth=69
did my guy get "taken"??? What do I do?!?! He doesn't even know I know! I'm totally losing sleep over this!!!
Well, if the bolded statement in your post is what you said to your bf, then you'll either have to live with that statement and trust (your words) that they did indeed choose something great. Remind yourself that you haven't yet seen the ring, and resolve to quit worrying about it until you actually see the ring. And if the ring is not what you would have chosen, tell him you love it anyway, and spare his feelings. But ask yourself if sparing his feelings means learning to love what the jeweler and your bf chose, or if it means leading him to believe you are thrilled when you are not. Or, you can say to your bf, I snooped and found the GIA certificate for a diamond that it looks like you already bought. I know I said that I trusted you and the jeweler to pick something great, but I did not mean that statement to apply to a cushion modified stone. Is it too late to exchange it?
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Yenny--I actually tried to direct him to Singlestone. They are in our area (LA) because my bf was not comfortable going thru the process online/over the phone. He wanted to be able to see everything in person. I think that's reasonable. But he ended up going with Vartan because his friends mom is a longtime customer and bling addict. The more I think about it, the more I am rubbed the wrong way. I feel like my voice was not heard in this whole process and I feel completely helpless now that everything has already been done. I don't even know what the return/exchange policy is?!?!
 

dreamer_dachsie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
24,364
Lula|1316965430|3025044 said:
tuffyluvr|1316936311|3024903 said:
I have been involved with the ering process, and I told my guy I love old cuts--antique cushions, OMCs, OECs, etc. He came back to me and said that the jeweler he is working with was very strongly opposed to these stones. Im really not sure why. I basically said that I knew he knew what I liked and I trusted the jeweler and I knew they would come up with something great. My guy very much wanted to surprise me, and the jeweler is well-regarded (he made khloé kardashian's amazing ering and the stuff in his shop is fabulous) so I trusted him.

Fast forward to last night: I happened upon the GIA cert for my diamond. And it looks like crap. It's a cushion modified brilliant (not my fave). I could get past that--I really don't want to hurt my guys feelings, but there are some worrying details on the report. Here are the issues that trouble me:
It's 1.55ct, but only 6.33x6.31--faces up small, no?
Table=65
depth=69
did my guy get "taken"??? What do I do?!?! He doesn't even know I know! I'm totally losing sleep over this!!!
Well, if the bolded statement in your post is what you said to your bf, then you'll either have to live with that statement and trust (your words) that they did indeed choose something great. Remind yourself that you haven't yet seen the ring, and resolve to quit worrying about it until you actually see the ring. And if the ring is not what you would have chosen, tell him you love it anyway, and spare his feelings. But ask yourself if sparing his feelings means learning to love what the jeweler and your bf chose, or if it means leading him to believe you are thrilled when you are not. Or, you can say to your bf, I snooped and found the GIA certificate for a diamond that it looks like you already bought. I know I said that I trusted you and the jeweler to pick something great, but I did not mean that statement to apply to a cushion modified stone. Is it too late to exchange it?
I agree completely, these are the options. Me, I would admit to snooping 8)
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Lula, thanks for your response. I feel like I am just going to have to wait it out and see. I mean, I did tell him I trusted him. And as you all have mentioned I won't know until I see the stone.
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
In regards to face up size of your 1.55 cushion-- keep in mind that they do face up smaller than RB. So make sure to compare face up size of your stone to average faceup size of other modern cushions.
 

shimmer

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
May 7, 2007
Messages
1,702
If it's any consolation, I have seen in person two good old gold august vintage cushions and several modifieds and I have come across one that could stand up against the gog avc in terms of light performance. It had a different look, but was still chunky and absolutely stunning!

The stone dimensions are a little disappointing understandably, but I find a square shape looks larger than a round of 6.3 mm diameter because of the corners. It also means that the stone has a nice depth and will likely be visually impacting from the side view!
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
That's the best sounding LEMON I've ever heard of. Over-dramatic much?
 

dreamer_dachsie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
24,364
I thought that my 7mm AVC looked the same size as my 7.65mm RB, and its face up area was similar.
 

maplefemme

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 12, 2011
Messages
874
When I was searching for a 1.5ct cushion they were around the 6.5mm mark, so yes, I'd say it's facing up a bit small.
I would personally call Vartan and simply ask what their policy is on returns and exchanges, don't elaborate as to who you are, just ask if they will exchange a stone your boyfriend purchased for a different cut of same/similar value. Reason being, if they don't accept returns and they won't let you exchange the stone then there's no point bringing it up to your boyfriend because there's nothing he can do about it, you're just going to upset him and be more upset yourself.
You knew that Vartan wasn't going to get you what you initially wanted, you gave them and your boyfriend permission to find something "other" than, so it was eyes wide open in a way.
The fact that they did Kardashian's ring is a moot point, if you aren't on the same page as your jeweler, if they don't listen to you, then it's not a good match, who cares what they made for someone else, whoever else, it only matters that you are happy with what they create for you.
If they will allow exchanges then I'd fess up to finding the grading report if there's a timeline, or if there's not a timeline for returns/exchanges then wait until you get the ring and see if you like it. You seem to really like Vartan's piece's, you may love this ring and be blown away.
You said you could get past it being a modified brilliant, you don't know if it looks like crap...
 

CharmyPoo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 10, 2004
Messages
7,007
Bottom line - you already know what you want and there is no reason to make yourself love it. If your boyfriend knows how you are then he may not be so bothered by you wanting what you want. My husband knows I won't be happy unless I got exactly what I wanted .. and if I am happy .. he is happy. I think you need to have an honest conversation with him. Tell him that you know most guys aren't obsessed with diamonds and most could care less. You appreciate everything he has done and tell him how you feel.

Your diamond faces up smaller because it has a depth of 69% which is on the deeper side on a nice cushion diamond. The girdle may also be thick thus retaining more weight there. Of course ... I don't know the other dimensions and how it works together. There is a comment above around modified cushions being able to stand up against GOG August Vintage in terms of light return - I highly doubt it and I have seen 100s of cushions of all types in person. I think August Vintage cushions are great options for people looking for a newly cut stone, guaranteed light performance, or high color / clarity which are difficult to find in true antique stones.

Jewelers who don't specialize in antiques or old cuts won't know much about it. This is why I recommend specific vendors for specific diamonds. A newly cut antique cushion - ERD, Leon, and GOG. For true antique stones, SingleStone and JbEG can find some nice ones - but for true antique stones ... I rather check eBay and keep waiting because I can get a much better price.

For your reference, my cushion diamonds are below. My 1.52 modern cushion faces up 6.87x6.83.

Cushion Brilliant
Measurements: 6.87 x 6.83 x 4.66 mm
Carat Weight: 1.52
Color Grade: G
Clarity Grade: VS1
Depth: 68.2 %
Table: 58 %

August Vintage Cushion
Measurements: 7.22 x 7.20 x 4.56 mm
Carat Weight: 1.71
Color Grade: E
Clarity Grade: VS1
Depth: 63.3 %
Table: 53 %
 

kindred

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
945
I think maplefemme gave really good advice. Try to find out if it can still be returned. I would much rather own up to snooping and not wanting that diamond than have to live with a diamond I didn't like for the rest of my life.
 

Jennifer W

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
1,958
Plenty good advice here already, the only thing I'd add is that Cushion Modified Brilliant on a GIA certificate doesn't necessarily mean the 'crushed ice' style of modern cushion. I've seen some cushions recently that are very much of the old style, with large chunky facets - the GIA cert says Cushion Modified Brilliant.

I think you need to see it yourself before you can fall in love with it or otherwise.

Good luck with it, however you decide to move forward, and congratulations on your upcoming engagement.
 

marcy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Feb 27, 2007
Messages
24,125
I would wait until you see it. If you find you don't like it you will have to see if your bf will be offended if you want to return it or exchange it.
 

tuffyluvr

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2011
Messages
1,339
Thanks for your advise anyone--well, except for you, decodelighted. You're pretty rude--I don't see how worrying that my guy got 'taken' on a $10k purchase is being overdramatic... but whatever, to each her own.

Ultimately, many of you are right: I did give my guy license to choose. He didn't like the OMCs and OECs, and I wanted him to love what he was getting me. I haven't loved modified brilliant cushions--I am in love with big chunky facets, but he isn't, so maybe this is a good compromise so we both love my ring? I mean, he is the one buying it...

Someone just posted a topic about whether the ring is for the giver or the recipient. I suppose we should both love it. I am going to wait until he gives it to me, and if it performs well, and is beautiful, I will love it. If it is a 'dud' I will deal with it then...
 

smokey99

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2011
Messages
124
decodelighted|1316969247|3025110 said:
That's the best sounding LEMON I've ever heard of. Over-dramatic much?

Sorry, but my thoughts exactly as well.

You're in fits over a situation and you havent even SEEN the ring yet :twirl:
It could be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. If you trust your man and he went to a jeweler you trust, AND he's seen it in person- do you really think he's going to end up with a "lemon" ??
 

Echidna

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 26, 2009
Messages
723
Jennifer W|1316981954|3025286 said:
Plenty good advice here already, the only thing I'd add is that Cushion Modified Brilliant on a GIA certificate doesn't necessarily mean the 'crushed ice' style of modern cushion. I've seen some cushions recently that are very much of the old style, with large chunky facets - the GIA cert says Cushion Modified Brilliant.

I think you need to see it yourself before you can fall in love with it or otherwise.

Good luck with it, however you decide to move forward, and congratulations on your upcoming engagement.
I agree completely with Jennifer W- the cert description might not be that telling.

I tried on a 3ct OMC on Saturday and was surprised how small it faced up (I have a 1.23ct RB). Keep in mind that a genuine old cut will face up small anyway, so perhaps it is the elusive old cut you desire...
 

MissStepcut

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 29, 2011
Messages
1,720
smokey99|1316991520|3025398 said:
decodelighted|1316969247|3025110 said:
That's the best sounding LEMON I've ever heard of. Over-dramatic much?

Sorry, but my thoughts exactly as well.

You're in fits over a situation and you havent even SEEN the ring yet :twirl:
It could be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. If you trust your man and he went to a jeweler you trust, AND he's seen it in person- do you really think he's going to end up with a "lemon" ??
I'd be upset about the face-up size alone, to be honest. But then, I'm not really a cushion person.
 

CharmyPoo

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 10, 2004
Messages
7,007
Echidna|1316993015|3025416 said:
Jennifer W|1316981954|3025286 said:
I tried on a 3ct OMC on Saturday and was surprised how small it faced up (I have a 1.23ct RB). Keep in mind that a genuine old cut will face up small anyway, so perhaps it is the elusive old cut you desire...
The problem here is that this diamond faces up small for a cushion and I am not comparing it to a RB.
 

SneakyBF

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
16
Id just like to throw my 2 cents in as a long time lurker and avid AVC/OMC fan.

Without seeing the actual stone you cant be put off by cushion modified brilliant. While in most cases it means modern there are some OMC labeled this sometimes. Even past AVCs have had this label before if my memory serves me right.

Also as far as face up goes, it does appear a bit small. Ive been shopping 1.5 cushions for a bit now and they seem to be around 6.5-6.7 mils. That being said what ive learned is that when looking at size its the average size that you should look at. Theres a lot of area in those corners. In a previous thread Jon mentioned that average diameter of an AVC is pretty close to that of a round.

Cushions are probably the most varied cut of any shape and there are a lot of really great ones out there. If I were you I would just wait it out and see what you get. He's most likely too far in to the setting process to turn back anyways.

Also for the record my GF has no idea what she will be receiving. I think it should be a surprise.
 

maplefemme

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 12, 2011
Messages
874
SneakyBF|1317052252|3025862 said:
Id just like to throw my 2 cents in as a long time lurker and avid AVC/OMC fan.

Without seeing the actual stone you cant be put off by cushion modified brilliant. While in most cases it means modern there are some OMC labeled this sometimes. Even past AVCs have had this label before if my memory serves me right.

Also as far as face up goes, it does appear a bit small. Ive been shopping 1.5 cushions for a bit now and they seem to be around 6.5-6.7 mils. That being said what ive learned is that when looking at size its the average size that you should look at. Theres a lot of area in those corners. In a previous thread Jon mentioned that average diameter of an AVC is pretty close to that of a round.

Cushions are probably the most varied cut of any shape and there are a lot of really great ones out there. If I were you I would just wait it out and see what you get. He's most likely too far in to the setting process to turn back anyways.

Also for the record my GF has no idea what she will be receiving. I think it should be a surprise.
Do you have it yet? Because you know we require pics.... :naughty:
 

Xanthoria

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
44
tuffyluvr|1316965929|3025049 said:
The more I think about it, the more I am rubbed the wrong way. I feel like my voice was not heard in this whole process and I feel completely helpless now that everything has already been done. I don't even know what the return/exchange policy is?!?!
First, I want you to know I mean this kindly :wink2:

Remember this is a gift from your SO to you.

And the old phrase "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" springs to mind! Which means we should accept gifts with good grace and the intent with which they were given.

We don't demand that other people in other situations buy us exactly what we want all the time (god I hope not...) because it would be really rude, so why is now any different? If you want X perfect stone, you are free to save your money and buy X perfect stone anytime you like.

Unless your friends walk around with micrometers and loupes none of them will be able to tell exactly what size the stone is anyway, and you can wear it and enjoy it because it's a symbol of love, not of greed.

And as others have mentioned you did tell him directly that you trusted him to come up with something nice so unless you are ready to admit that was not the truth, and that you snooped to find out about the diamond, you are stuck.

Look I get where you are coming from - I myself didn't love the design of ring my SO came up with but we went into the design together and I told him at the sketch stage that I wasn't feeling the setting design. In the end I was delighted to receive a family heirloom that I had ZERO input into (and I'm a designer, so you know that was... eeek!) after I remembered that it's the love that matters, not the stone.

I have completely given up the design of my wedding band to my SO - whatever he comes up with I will love. End of story. Men (and women!) need to feel validated for making decisions like that, and in such a high pressure situation your greatest expression of gratitude to him is to support him in this big decision with grace.
 

pmbspyder

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 25, 2011
Messages
45
Xanthoria|1317058105|3025959 said:
tuffyluvr|1316965929|3025049 said:
The more I think about it, the more I am rubbed the wrong way. I feel like my voice was not heard in this whole process and I feel completely helpless now that everything has already been done. I don't even know what the return/exchange policy is?!?!
First, I want you to know I mean this kindly :wink2:

Remember this is a gift from your SO to you.

And the old phrase "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" springs to mind! Which means we should accept gifts with good grace and the intent with which they were given.

We don't demand that other people in other situations buy us exactly what we want all the time (god I hope not...) because it would be really rude, so why is now any different? If you want X perfect stone, you are free to save your money and buy X perfect stone anytime you like.

Unless your friends walk around with micrometers and loupes none of them will be able to tell exactly what size the stone is anyway, and you can wear it and enjoy it because it's a symbol of love, not of greed.

And as others have mentioned you did tell him directly that you trusted him to come up with something nice so unless you are ready to admit that was not the truth, and that you snooped to find out about the diamond, you are stuck.

Look I get where you are coming from - I myself didn't love the design of ring my SO came up with but we went into the design together and I told him at the sketch stage that I wasn't feeling the setting design. In the end I was delighted to receive a family heirloom that I had ZERO input into (and I'm a designer, so you know that was... eeek!) after I remembered that it's the love that matters, not the stone.

I have completely given up the design of my wedding band to my SO - whatever he comes up with I will love. End of story. Men (and women!) need to feel validated for making decisions like that, and in such a high pressure situation your greatest expression of gratitude to him is to support him in this big decision with grace.
I had to quote your whole post because as the proposer, I could not have written it better myself. Best post I've seen on this forum so far to-date
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,157
Tell your boyfriend that you are planning to give him an amazing surprise wedding gift that you just love!!! A minivan!!!!! Then maybe he can relate. ;))

I believe the ring should be exactly what the GIRL would love the most. That is love...to want to please the recipient. But you sort of made a mistake when your bf told you that the jeweler doesn't like antique cut stones. That was the red flag to change jewelers. The jeweler's taste shouldn't be the deciding factor. He can advise on metals and safe settings and provide great workmanship, but the design of the ring and stone should be to please the buyer.
 

Newjewels

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 17, 2011
Messages
108
Are you even sure you prefer antique cushions to the modern cuts? I ask because my husband and I set out to upgrade my Ering for our 10th anniversary, and I thought I wanted a "cushion". At the time (a mere few weeks ago), I didn't even know so many different cuts existed! Luckily, I only went to a couple stores (very limited stock) before finding PS. Didn't take me long to learn a ton, and realize I prefer the antique cut look. At least I think I do...I have only seen a couple cushions IRL at all, and never have seen an antique cut! Ended up buying online...mine is very similar in size to yours. Can't wait to see it to find out if I even do like them! Yikes...but I'm sure I will find something about it that isn't perfect, that's just me. So my point in saying all this is that maybe you will surprise yourself and find it turns out to be everything you could have dreamed of! Hope that's the case with me, too :)
 

KR

Rough_Rock
Joined
Aug 30, 2011
Messages
80
SneakyBF|1317052252|3025862 said:
Id just like to throw my 2 cents in as a long time lurker and avid AVC/OMC fan.

Without seeing the actual stone you cant be put off by cushion modified brilliant. While in most cases it means modern there are some OMC labeled this sometimes. Even past AVCs have had this label before if my memory serves me right.

Also as far as face up goes, it does appear a bit small. Ive been shopping 1.5 cushions for a bit now and they seem to be around 6.5-6.7 mils. That being said what ive learned is that when looking at size its the average size that you should look at. Theres a lot of area in those corners. In a previous thread Jon mentioned that average diameter of an AVC is pretty close to that of a round.

Cushions are probably the most varied cut of any shape and there are a lot of really great ones out there. If I were you I would just wait it out and see what you get. He's most likely too far in to the setting process to turn back anyways.

Also for the record my GF has no idea what she will be receiving. I think it should be a surprise.
Did anyone notice this post?

Tuffyluvr I think SneakyBF is your BF!!!!

Seriously though, I've been shopping for an antique cushion too and have come accross PLENTLY of certs that are labelled cushion modified brilliant when clearly it's an antique cushion or an old mine brillant cushion.

How funny, what if he said your jeweler doesn't like antique cuts to make you think that you would not be getting you an antique cut, but then looked foor an antique anyway, and even lurked PS to find you the perfect one. I've done that before when finding a gift for my family members, make them think I'm getting them one thing when I'm really finding them what I know they want.

Really I just wanted to point out that SneakyBF could be her BF and the stone could indeed be an antique cushion, and a very pretty one at that.
 
Be a part of the community It's free, join today!
    What is PriceScope?
    What is PriceScope?
    What is Diamond Color?
    What is Diamond Color?
    Scorpio Style
    Scorpio Style

Need Something Special?

Get a quote from multiple trusted and vetted jewelers.

Holloway Cut Advisor



Diamond Eye Candy

Click to view full-size image.
Top