Guys still spending $$$ on rings why not women?

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/2/2007 4:23:13 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/2/2007 4:16:53 PM
Author: decodelighted
If I was at a different time in my life I would probably be more 'romantic' about the e-ring as 'surprise gift' but ... I'm not

Do you think with personalities like ours, that age really matters?

LMAO! True, you got me!

BTW Deco, we are in double digits for months now for our anniversay this month!

Happy early 10 month anniversary!

Right Back Atcha! You two have been a bit more *ahem* PRODUCTIVE with the time than we've been.

Can't wait to hear about your anniversary/honeymoon trip! Our belated moon was fab-tastic thanks to you! Hopefully karma will do you RIGHT sistah.

 

[musey]

Date: 8/2/2007 4:30:20 PM
Author: Mr. Eric
I don't think that they brides parents are paying for weddings like they used to? Are they? I am not really complaining, I was just posing a question, that's all.

That's like asking if people are still vacationing in Florida like they used to

Some people are, some people aren't, and some people never did in the first place!

I'm lucky in that my dad felt very strongly about financing my wedding (I'm the only girl). But again, his budget was largely influenced by "society"--in this case, his brother that has three daughters! See, it's not just guys buying engagement rings that are under budget pressure

I think a lot of it depends on the age/situation of the couple. We'll be young newlyweds, so I think everyone is more comfortable with parents contributions than we would if we were older and more established.

 

[Nicki]

I make significantly more than my FI. He gave me a generous amount of money...the inheritance from his grandfather''s passing, as a matter of fact. I used that to pay for most of the stone. I pitched in a bit more so I could have a bit larger size. I paid for the setting and the wedding band, as well as paying for his wedding band, which was $1100. He would never wear diamonds, but the wedding band I bought him is an exquisite custom piece nevertheless. His wedding band is made out of a material that doesn''t even exist on this planet...even MORE special, IMO than diamonds.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/2/2007 4:55:26 PM
Author: Nicki
I make significantly more than my FI. He gave me a generous amount of money...the inheritance from his grandfather''s passing, as a matter of fact. I used that to pay for most of the stone. I pitched in a bit more so I could have a bit larger size. I paid for the setting and the wedding band, as well as paying for his wedding band, which was $1100. He would never wear diamonds, but the wedding band I bought him is an exquisite custom piece nevertheless. His wedding band is made out of a material that doesn''t even exist on this planet...even MORE special, IMO than diamonds.

OK, I have to ask what it is, because in my mind, I''m thinking alien goo!

Deco, thanks. Our productivity was a bit of a shock, as we didn''t think it was going to happen. I really need that honeymoon now!!!

 

[Nicki]

Date: 8/2/2007 4:57:38 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/2/2007 4:55:26 PM
Author: Nicki
I make significantly more than my FI. He gave me a generous amount of money...the inheritance from his grandfather's passing, as a matter of fact. I used that to pay for most of the stone. I pitched in a bit more so I could have a bit larger size. I paid for the setting and the wedding band, as well as paying for his wedding band, which was $1100. He would never wear diamonds, but the wedding band I bought him is an exquisite custom piece nevertheless. His wedding band is made out of a material that doesn't even exist on this planet...even MORE special, IMO than diamonds.

OK, I have to ask what it is, because in my mind, I'm thinking alien goo!

Deco, thanks. Our productivity was a bit of a shock, as we didn't think it was going to happen. I really need that honeymoon now!!!

Hee! His wedding band is yellow gold with an inlay of Gibeon meteorite. The Widmanstatten patterns in the nickel-iron present in the meteorite doesn't occur on earth. It can only form when the material is allowed to cool over millions of years. The patterns in the metal are natural, not engraved in any way.

The artist is named Chris Ploof...I've attached a photo of his work. My FI's ring is similar to this one, only wider, so the gold rails are proportionally smaller.

 

[TravelingGal]

Very cool Nicki!

 

[Joolskie]

When the hubby and I were married 11 years ago... I bought him a simple 14k YG band and a Tag Heuer watch. Which he loves and still wears. And I am still wearing the half-carat diamond he gave me. So, I consider us fairly even.

Although, now that I have reset my stone into white metal... I am thinking about getting him a new band in white metal for our anniversary in October.

 

[Mr. Eric]

I think I found the ring I want. That is a pretty sweet ring. Very unique! I like it!

 

[Nicki]

Date: 8/2/2007 5:19:45 PM
Author: Mr. Eric
I think I found the ring I want. That is a pretty sweet ring. Very unique! I like it!

You should take a look at his webiste: http://www.chrisploof.com/index.html

He makes some really amazing stuff...his Damascus and Mokume Gane rings are jawdropping.

It''s funny. I first found his rings years ago carried by a place in Arizona. It took me ages to track down the artist...only to find out he lives and operates his studio a couple of towns over from me.

 

[Mr. Eric]

I do like the Tungsten Carbide rings. Would be nice to have a ring that strong so I could always where it and not have to care for it too much.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 8/2/2007 3:58:24 PM
Author: musey


If a woman is pressuring you (the proverbial ''you''--not YOU) to buy her a ring and you don''t want to, DON''T. Besides, why would you want to marry someone who forces you to do anything, especially spending exorbitant amounts of money on HER? Can we say--setting the standard for future patterns of behavior?

Isn''t that her job to force the guy to do what he don''t want to do, which is anything that don''t involve cars guns and TVs?

Its a fact that Women drive the e-ring market, it wouldn''t exist if it was up too the guys.

 

[Mr. Eric]

You are really trying to start something!! I am not trying to start an argument, but you are correct. Women do run the ering/diamond market. Ever see the movie blood diamond? When Leo says something like poor guys are told they have to spend 3 month salary on a diamond ring..... or somethign like that.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/2/2007 5:48:48 PM
Author: strmrdr

Date: 8/2/2007 3:58:24 PM
Author: musey


If a woman is pressuring you (the proverbial ''you''--not YOU) to buy her a ring and you don''t want to, DON''T. Besides, why would you want to marry someone who forces you to do anything, especially spending exorbitant amounts of money on HER? Can we say--setting the standard for future patterns of behavior?

Isn''t that her job to force the guy to do what he don''t want to do, which is anything that don''t involve cars guns and TVs?

Its a fact that Women drive the e-ring market, it wouldn''t exist if it was up too the guys.

I refuse to force TGuy to do anything he doesn''t want to do. It''s too hard to tear his eyes away from the TV, and I''m afraid he''ll get mad and shoot me with his gun.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/2/2007 6:01:42 PM
Author: Mr. Eric
poor guys are told they have to spend 3 month salary on a diamond ring..... or somethign like that.

Oh yes .. you POOR POOR pitiful souls ... what with your $1 to every $1 of salary vs. women''s sixty seven cents. And your life without fear of sexual assult ... and your every time "O"s ... and your freedom from body-altering child bearing ...

Puh-leeze.

Tell me again about the societal burdens of MALENESS

 

[musey]

Date: 8/2/2007 5:48:48 PM
Author: strmrdr
Its a fact that Women drive the e-ring market, it wouldn't exist if it was up too the guys.

That's an entirely different issue, and likely not true. I know of PLENTY of men who take pride in the ring that they buy for their wife, and many of them are married to women who could care less about the appearance of her ring.

There are plenty of markets driven by men. If my fiance chooses to buy a monster truck with OUR money (as I continually stress that the money is joint anyway... starting to feel like a broken record here) I won't deny it to him simply because I won't get as much out of it as he will. And I certainly won't insist that he buy ME a monster truck as well, just so we're "even." Because really, what am *I* going to do with a monster truck?

Life is not fairly split between everyone. There are lots o' things out there that favor one sex over the other. It's just the way things are, because we have all evolved to want different things in life. I wouldn't in a million years commit myself to a man who believes that that makes things unfair, because he's going to become that "but hooooney, our NEIGHBOR has HBO and Starz, why can't we get it TOOOOOOOO?!" guy. Mmmmm, that's my idea of a sturdy, sexy man that I want to spend my life with

I refuse to live life in the context of how I'm coming out on top as compared to everyone else, and this is just a smaller manifestation of that. Jeeze louise.

 

[musey]

Date: 8/2/2007 6:12:04 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/2/2007 6:01:42 PM

Author: Mr. Eric

poor guys are told they have to spend 3 month salary on a diamond ring..... or somethign like that.

Oh yes .. you POOR POOR pitiful souls ... what with your $1 to every $1 of salary vs. women's sixty seven cents. And your life without fear of sexual assult ... and your every time 'O's ... and your freedom from body-altering child bearing ...


Puh-leeze.

Tell me again about the societal burdens of MALENESS

OMG Deco, I love you.

hahaha

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/2/2007 5:36:52 PM
Author: Mr. Eric
I do like the Tungsten Carbide rings. Would be nice to have a ring that strong so I could always where it and not have to care for it too much.

See? It''s your own fault for liking cheap rings.

No really, I think you would find that many many women buy their man a flat screen tv, watch, or some other large toy as an engagement gift as well. So I don''t necessarily think it''s as unfair as you think...

 

[musey]

Date: 8/2/2007 6:18:09 PM
Author: neatfreak
I think you would find that many many women buy their man a flat screen tv, watch, or some other large toy as an engagement gift as well. So I don't necessarily think it's as unfair as you think...

You're so right, neatfreak... Eric, there are even threads all over here about "my FI bought me such a beautiful ring, what can I get him in return??" If that's not reciprocal love, I don't know what is

 

[Mr. Eric]

I got one for ya. I am a guy looking for a elementary teaching job in a female dominated field. Can not land one.

Think I would have a better shot if I was a guy, but you got me on the child bearing thing. You can keep that!

 

[Mr. Eric]

I mean I think I would have a better shot getting a teaching job if I were a female, or not so retarded.....

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 8/2/2007 6:01:42 PM
Author: Mr. Eric
You are really trying to start something!!

Naw not really they know im just funning them a little but its more fun when more bite so I guess they know me too well ... shucks!

For the record Im one of the 1% that buys my Wifey2b and my sister bling cuz I want too :}

 

[MoonWater]

Interesting topic. I agree with the question of why the guy is paying so much since times have changed so drastically. The ring I want costs at least 6k, and we aren''t exactly rich. But I offered to pay for half of it because ultimately it''s both our finances. It would be silly for my bf to go into debt for a ring that together we could afford. I have a feeling he won''t let me help pay for it and if that''s the case I already made the decision to buy BOTH wedding rings in order to break as close to even as possible. I don''t factor in wedding costs because I''m not into big weddings and desperately want a potluck wedding (everyone we know is a great cook, far better than any caterer we could afford).

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 8/2/2007 6:12:04 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/2/2007 6:01:42 PM
Author: Mr. Eric
poor guys are told they have to spend 3 month salary on a diamond ring..... or somethign like that.

Oh yes .. you POOR POOR pitiful souls ... what with your $1 to every $1 of salary vs. women''s sixty seven cents. And your life without fear of sexual assult ... and your every time ''O''s ... and your freedom from body-altering child bearing ...

Puh-leeze.

Tell me again about the societal burdens of MALENESS

rofl you crack me up deco

 

[Mr. Eric]

Anyway this is the ring that I am getting me lady. Except with a .75 center diamond. I am sure that many of you have seen in before, but I like it. Hope she does!

http://www.tacori.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=SRCH&Product_Code=HT2258&Category_Code=RINGS&Store_Code=TACORI&Search=CRS&offset=0&filter_cat=1&PowerSearch_Begin_Only=&sort=&range_low=&range_high=%20&srch_colle=1

 

[Haven]

Deco, you are the best! I knew I liked you when I found out you named your dog Tallulah!

Mr. E--I''m a teacher, and I know for a fact that districts LOVE to hire men for elementary jobs (where I''m located, at least) because there are so few men out there with the credentials--perhaps you''re looking in the wrong district? Come to the Chicago suburbs, we need male teachers!

That Tacori setting is beautiful, I''m sure she''ll love it. Very nice choice! Congrats!

 

[musey]

Date: 8/2/2007 7:52:13 PM
Author: Haven
Mr. E--I''m a teacher, and I know for a fact that districts LOVE to hire men for elementary jobs (where I''m located, at least) because there are so few men out there with the credentials

Haven, I was surprised at that comment, too--I have a couple of guy friends that just finished their ed. master''s and both remained unemployed for a whopping THREE DAYS

(as someone in a profession where working for two weeks, then nothing for months, then another two weeks, etc. etc... this made me uber-jealous!!)

But yeah, I''m surprised to hear of ANYONE having trouble finding elementary ed. jobs!! I know a ton of people in this field, and none of them have managed to stay jobless for long!

 

[Independent Gal]

I haven't read through the whole thread, but....

Yes, my guy paid for my e-ring (despite my offer to help!)

No, his w-band won't cost as much as mine because I want MORE DIAMONDS!!!

He will get platinum, though... hte exact ring he has chosen he shall have.

But me and my family are paying for not just one, but TWO wedding parties, mostly to make his family happy.

AND, I am providing him with a home and financial security when he marries me. While I scrimped and saved to buy my home, he spent every penny. And now he'll have a home too with no effort on his part. I'm happy to provide it for him!

But, I don't feel badly at all about the ring. He is proud of it and I love it.

And it's not tit for tat. He's definitely the one "making out like a bandit" on this marriage, financially speaking.

And I buy myself jewelry all the time..... It sparkles more when you earned it.... know what I mean? OK, so it sparkles a lot when it was given with love too.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 8/2/2007 4:23:13 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/2/2007 4:16:53 PM
Author: decodelighted
To be honest ... we''re kinda ''equal''-izers too, my DH & I. As a 38 year old bride I kinda wanted more of an e-ring that I thought was really ''reasonable'' so we basically split the cost of what I wanted. And our w-bands were just about an equal amount. I''d say between my family''s contribution & his family''s and mine & his -- the wedding costs ended up almost even as well.

If I was at a different time in my life I would probably be more ''romantic'' about the e-ring as ''surprise gift'' but ... I''m not and he''s not and I''m super 100% thrilled with the solution we came up with and he says that he is too. In a way it was our first big project together & it will always represent *that*

I think that''s it Deco...if I had been younger, I may have romanticized it a little more. Or maybe not. Do you think with personalities like ours, that age really matters?

Hee - same with hubby and I. Purchase was very much a joint decision, and to an extent, pooled funding too.

And yeah, even with strong personalities (me too), I think that having aged a bit still does play a part in it. When you get older, even the most blunt, direct folks become a lot more relaxed on the picayune details and realize a bit more clearly that it really all comes from the same source anyway, when you think about it!

 

[Mr. Eric]

I live abut 50miles west of Chicago. With a masters degree in el ed. and 4 years of classroom experience. Think my Master''s degree is killing me!

 

[Mr. Eric]

WOW! I know at least 20 people that can not even get an interview and they have applied at probably over 70 schools!