Guys, I really need some support . . .

[LaurenThePartier]

Oh, Irish! I''m so sorry to hear the news. Extra hugs to you and your DH. Just remember the Rainbow Bridge. (((((((((((hug)))))))))))

 

[HollyS]

Emm, he knew when it was his time to go; that''s why he went outside and wouldn''t come when called. He knew.

I''m so sorry sweetie; I''ve got tears in my eyes as I type this. It''s so very hard to let our babies go, isn''t it?

Hugs to you.

 

[Bia]

I'm so sorry Irish. So, soooo sorry. I don't know what to say because it all sounds wrong. My heart is hurting reading this.

I just want you to know that I think you're amazing...an amazing dog owner, but even more so, a dog-mommy. Caesar was blessed to have you for what I'm sure were the best 8 years any dog could ever hope for. Take pride (and solace) in that you gave him that wonderful life sweetheart.

I'm so sorry again. (((((BIG, BIGGGG HUGS)))))

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I''m so sorry about your lovely dog.

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.
Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.
We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,
never fully understanding the necessary plan." --Irving Townsend.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Ladies, thank you all so much. I really feel like you all knew him a little, just from my (very inadequate) descriptions of him here.

Lorelei ~ Thank you. And thank you again for being here.

Bee* ~ He was. He really was.

AGBF ~ I had to laugh a little about your Lab. Our other two dogs are Lab mixes, and one of them (Turbo) is a lot like your Biscuit . . . always getting into everything she shouldn''t, but such a sweetie that we can''t hold it against her. And I totally understand about the mourning them before they die. Caesar really started to go downhill around Christmas, and I had a very hard time with it because I knew what was coming. I don''t know which way is worse . . . knowing or not knowing.

Isabel ~ I am somewhat relieved to know that he''s not in pain anymore. I know that he''s at peace now, and he is no longer limited by what his body is unable to do.

TLH ~ Thank you. I do truly believe that I''ll see him again someday.

Mia ~ I was so glad that he spared us from making that decision. I think he really knew how much I dreaded that, and he just wouldn''t put me through that. He had a huge heart.

Amber ~ I really think he did just go to sleep in the sun. I was so glad that we got to him before it was over though. I really didn''t want him to be alone.

NEL ~ Thank you, thank you. "Beautiful" is definitely not the wrong word! I''ve been struggling with whether or not it was the "right" way for him to go . . . did I do enough? Your post has made me feel so much better, to know that you would choose the same thing for your boys. Thank you.

Lauren ~ Thank you, too . . . I keep thinking of the Rainbow Bridge, and I know that''s where he is now.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Holly ~ I think you''re exactly right . . . I think he knew, and he didn''t want it to be any harder on us than it had to be. He knew how much it would hurt us when he left, and he didn''t want to make it any worse.

Bia ~ Don''t worry . . . what you said was exactly right! Thank you so much for saying that. I only hope that I was half as good to him as he was to me.

Madam B ~ Thank you so much. That was a beautiful verse, and it''s very true.

 

[Skippy123]

Irrish, I am so sorry about your sweet dog, huge hugs and my thoughts are with you.

 

[stepcutnut]

Irish-I just wanted to say how Sorry I am to hear about your babies passing! But, what a wonderful way to go to the Rainbow Bridge, laying peacefully in the sun and grass-surrounded by loved ones!!! Big HUGS to you and your hubby! What fantastic parents you were to him!

 

[Lauren8211]

More ((((HUGS)))))

...just cuz.

 

[snlee]

Emm, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your DH. HUGS.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I''m so terribly sorry! Losing a pet is a helpless and terrible feeling. My thoughts are with you and yours.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Ladies, thank you all again. I am so overwhelmed by the huge outpouring of love for Caesar! There are people literally all over the world who are thinking of him right now! Thank you so much for that.

Skip ~ Thank you, friend! ((((HUGS)))) back to you.

StepCutNut ~ Thank you. You''re right . . . I think it was very peaceful for him, and I''m so glad we could be with him when it happened.

Elle ~ Thank you, sweetie! ((((HUGS)))) back, just cuz. BTW, your new siggy quote is beautiful!

Snlee ~ Thank you for the hugs. Caesar was laying right here next to the couch all that time you and I were discussing our Bev K bands, and that was right about the time he really started to go downhill. I''ll always think of him and of you when I look at my Bev K band!

OUpeargirl ~ It really is a terrible feeling, and "helpless" is a good word. Thanks for the thoughts you''re sending us. ((((HUGS))))

 

[loriken214]

Emm,

I''m SO sorry...my heart is with you....prayers for comfort to you and DH during this difficult time.

Lori

 

[icekid]

Irish- I just found this thread and the first post made me cry... and to hear that you just lost your baby

I am so sorry. Dogs have such special places in our families. HUGS!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Lori ~ Thank you. I know, eventually, it won''t hurt as much as it does now.

Icekid ~ Thanks. He really was a member of the family, and he was SUCH a sweetie-pie!

 

[FrekeChild]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Lorelei]

Thinking of you.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Freke & Lorelei ~ Thank you, girls.

I''m back at work today. (I took a personal day yesterday because I was a complete wreck.) I was worried about how I''d do at work today, but I''ve been pretty much OK so far. The girls here at the office got DH and I a beautiful sympathy card, and I had a bad moment when I read that this morning!

The only other time I''ve had trouble so far today was when I went home to let the dogs out at lunchtime. This is the first time that I''ve done that and only had two dogs to let out instead of three.

This morning, before I left for work, I fed Biko and Turbo their breakfast. Before either of them started eating, they both walked over to where Caesar''s bowl *should* be and looked around. (I then had to talk Turbo into eating her breakfast, which she grudgingly did. That''s completely unheard of . . . she''s usually our little piglet!) They''ve both been acting off since Sunday. Turbo keeps looking for him, and Biko is just acting depressed. I really think they miss him.

 

[Lorelei]

I understand Em, it takes time sweetheart and this is so hard trying to carry on without them, everyday things hurt so badly. Hang in there.

 

[movie zombie]

its hard and it hurts......but not to have known that love.......RIP and don''t chase my 4 kitties too much!

mz

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Lorelei ~ Thanks. I keep telling myself it''s going to get better eventually . . . I just can''t imagine how.

MZ ~ I know what you mean. As much as it hurts now that we''ve lost him, I feel so lucky to have had him in my life. And don''t worry . . . Caesar is a "cat purrson" so I''m sure he''ll be good to your kitties! LOL!

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 4/28/2009 4:29:16 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
Lorelei ~ Thanks. I keep telling myself it''s going to get better eventually . . . I just can''t imagine how.

MZ ~ I know what you mean. As much as it hurts now that we''ve lost him, I feel so lucky to have had him in my life. And don''t worry . . . Caesar is a ''cat purrson'' so I''m sure he''ll be good to your kitties! LOL!

I know, just take it a day at a time for now and don''t expect too much of yourself. You WILL get through this but you have a whole grieving process to go through, so take good care of yourself and take lots of comfort from Hubby and your other babies. Spend as much time as you can with Red too, he will help you so much.

 

[got2goldens]

Hi Emm,

I have to be honest, I''ve been avoiding this thread because I was afraid of the outcome.

Now I''ve read all 5 pages, and am crying like a big baby.

You are certainly an inspiration to all of us other Dog Mommies out here.

And please remember, Caesar is there at the Rainbow Bridge in good company, waiting for you, his Daddy and his doggie siblings.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Take care of yourself,
Kat

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Lorelei ~ You''re so right! I went to the barn last night, and I think Red instantly knew what was going on, before I even told him. (And yes, I talk to him . . . I''m THAT kind of crazy! LOL!) He was extra careful with me last night, and I did feel a little better by the time I left the barn. They somehow always just know the right thing to do, don''t they?

Kat ~ Thank you! It''s so comforting to know that you all think I did a good job with him. I''ve been second-guessing myself a lot lately, and it''s nice to hear that reassurance. Thanks again. ((((HUGS))))

 

[whitby_2773]

Emm -

i''ve been thinking of you and caesar and all your family today. nothing in particular - just thinking. picturing your beautiful boy and feeling sad for you.

just wanted you to know i''m thinking of you and hoping you got through today ok, and that i''ll be thinking of you tomorrow too, just sort of walking with you a little bit while the pain subsides.

i''ll be praying that tomorrow is better than today, and that the day after that is better again, and so on till all you have left is - not grief - just wonderful memories of your beloved boy.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 4/29/2009 10:12:53 PM
Author: whitby_2773
Emm -

i''ve been thinking of you and caesar and all your family today. nothing in particular - just thinking. picturing your beautiful boy and feeling sad for you.

just wanted you to know i''m thinking of you and hoping you got through today ok, and that i''ll be thinking of you tomorrow too, just sort of walking with you a little bit while the pain subsides.

i''ll be praying that tomorrow is better than today, and that the day after that is better again, and so on till all you have left is - not grief - just wonderful memories of your beloved boy.

Aw, Whitby, thank you! I so much appreciate you walking with me through this. I know how much your dogs mean to you, so I know you can imagine what this is like. Thank you so much! ((((HUGS))))

BTW, I think you would make a lovely cake! And your dog does look a little bit like he''s attacking you, but in a good way!

 

[Beacon]

I am just catching this thread now. Gosh it is sad. I am so sorry about the loss of your good dog.

You know, wouldn''t it be wonderful if all animals had the love and support that you gave yours. He had a great life and you can be very proud of it.

I know how much it hurts. Hope you are hanging in there. I am very sorry.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 4/29/2009 10:56:40 PM
Author: Beacon
I am just catching this thread now. Gosh it is sad. I am so sorry about the loss of your good dog.

You know, wouldn''t it be wonderful if all animals had the love and support that you gave yours. He had a great life and you can be very proud of it.

I know how much it hurts. Hope you are hanging in there. I am very sorry.

Thank you, Beacon. Thank you for saying that. I can only hope I made him half as happy as he made me. He was such a good dog.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

***TEARJERKER WARNING!!!***

I''m going to post a few things that have been helpful to me over the past few days. I know so many of you have gone through this too, and I''m hoping you''ll find these helpful as well.




The Last Will & Testament of Silverdene Emblem O''Neill

I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O''NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.
I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.

I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me), now that I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those of my fellow Dalmatians who are devout Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris, beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast (like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and the love of one''s Master and Mistress.

I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.

One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog! I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendôme, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I have been able to in recent years. And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.

One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved." No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.

~Eugene O''Neill






Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning''s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.
~Mary Frye






''Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!''

~Canon Henry Scott Holland

 

[whitby_2773]

thanks emm - lovely thoughts and worth thinking about.

:S