- Jun 8, 2008
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk"
He replied, "They had avocados."
When the Marine fighter jet was shot down, the pilot ejected just in time.
After weeks in the ICU, hooked up to half the equipment in the hospital, the pilot regained consciousness.
The nurse, spoke to him softly and slowly, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
He replied, "Can I feel your boobs then?"
1. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
2. There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were copycats!
3. How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?
With flood lighting.
4. What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
The police had to comb the area.
5. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
6. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
“Pleased to eat you.”
7. What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, its the best thing for a hot dog!
8. How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.
9. Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
10. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
11. A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
12. What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?
13. What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?
14. Where did the cat go when it lost its tail?
To the retail store!
15. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
16. Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because it uses a honey comb!
17. Why are fish so good at watching their weight?
Because they have lots of scales.
18. What animal has more lives than a cat?
Frogs, they croak every night!
19. What do you get from a pampered cow?
20. What is a cat’s favorite breakfast?
21. Who makes dinosaur clothes?
22. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try and try and try-ceratops!
23. What pine has the longest needles?
24. What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
25. Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink!
26. Why don’t bears wear shoes?
What’s the use? They’d still have bear feet!
27. What do fish take to stay healthy?
28. How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
29. What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
30. What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A woolen jumper!