getting lost in stupid stuff

[TooPatient]

Recordaras -- Beautiful earrings!

Rebecca -- Checklists are awesome! Glad you're feeling better about how much you have done. Once you're past the big stuff, a lot of the small stuff goes pretty quickly.

AS -- Great progress
Photographers were stressful to work with! We had one from the "preferred vendors" list only to have her cancel on us something like 6 weeks out. She did recommend a few of her photographer friends... with lower quality work and higher prices. Then the original people I'd wanted to work with who got us in to chat with the promise of "all day shooting" for $1600 (and stunning quality!) only to let us know they'd updated their prices so now we could get 4 hours for something like $2400...

The photographer we ended up with is less well known but I loved her work. The only regret I have with her is that I didn't put a list together of "must have" pictures so have a few I really wanted but forgot about on the day of. Make sure to have a list of things you want pictures of (groups, individuals, poses, moments) and even get them some sample pictures to make sure you get what you want.


WD -- I love your options! Take the time to make the special details you want and don't look back. Sorry it is so stressful with your family right now. I hope they get over it soon so you can enjoy the rest of your planning.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Okay so I have a confession. I really don’t like wedding wire. I mean I can see how it’s a good resource but I hate how there are ‘preferred vendors’. Like those vendors pay more to wedding wire so they get to be at the top of the list? I dunno. I think the reviews can be really helpful but I am just annoyed that the search feature puts all these random vendors that don’t fit my search criteria at the top. Wedding wire rant over.

I have been basically using google. The good news is I found one that I really like yesterday. His pictures are really neat and he does a lot of landscape pictures so I think he will be able to capture our scenery really well. AND! He actually called me back promptly! …Which scores huge points in my book. So I sent him some more details last night and I am hoping to send him a check by the end of this week.

Boys are so funny about wedding rings. Isn’t it kind of cool to see your guy wearing a ring?? I was like wow! Hehehe.

Rebecca, I am so glad that checklist helped you feel better about the planning so far! I love LOVE checking things off.

TP, I remember your photography fiasco. Booo. I am so afraid of something like that happening. I will definitely make note to make a list of must have pictures! Thank you for the tip.

WD, I think that is really great that you all are starting over. I wish you the best! Your plans sound AMAZING!

Our Save the Dates should be here tonight! I am so excited to see them. Now that I might actually have a photographer, I can probably send them out.

 

[recordaras]

I usually just sort by rating on weddingwire. You still get the "spotlight" vendors on top, but then at least all the others are sorted in a slightly easier to comprehend manner.

 

[antiquesparkler]

The problem is I get mostly Spotlight endors because the area I am searching has just a few in each category, if that makes any sense. I actually did a wedding website through them and I love how it turned out.

For those of you ladies having small weddings... more advice please! I keep getting facebook comments on my engagement pictures from relatives and friends (that wont be invited) asking when the wedding is... what date should they save... etc. How do I handle this? I mean if we were having a big wedding, these people would surely be invited. Do I write up a facebook post announcing our tiny wedding? I just have no idea how to answer some of these questions. Awkward!

I can keep ignoring the comments, I just feel bad. Thoughts?

 

[recordaras]

Oh, then I understand your frustration! I'm not getting a lot of spotlight vendors, followed by a handful of featured ones, so it isn't that annoying.

As for dealing with the people, I totally understand you, and I think the best thing to do is say that the date is X, and mention that you will be having a very small wedding in the hope that they will understand that it's code for "we can't invite everyone". But I dread those conversations myself - there just seems to be no way of wording it that still won't make me feel bad about leaving people out.
Also, will you be having a B list? If so, and if you can see some of those people on there, then maybe avoidance isn't such a bad idea?..

 

[antiquesparkler]

No B List for us... we have pretty much checked with all but 1 or 2 people before choosing the date. I just feel soooooooo bad. We are sending our save the dates at the end of the week so word will get out. I just feel the need to announce for some reason. Just so there are no hard feelings. Maybe people who are invited will spread the word that its really small. lol. When does this wedding planning stuff get fun?!?

 

[antiquesparkler]

~*My List*~
Securing officiant- Done!
Booking cabins- Done!
Found the venue for our reception/dinner and tasted the food- Done!
Finding THE dress- Done!
Buying T a suit and tie- Done!
Buying lanterns for the ceremony- Done!
Settled on color scheme- Done! (Pink and Ivory, with a touch of black)
Venue for our reception/dinner booked! Done!
Reserve rental chairs- Done!
Buying T his wedding band- Done!
Wedding website updated for now- Done!
Wedding earrings- Done!
Ordered flower girl dress- Done!
Order and send Save the Dates- SENT!
Signing the photography contract/ sending down payment- Done!
Took my mom to see my dress Wednesday!


In Progress~
Looking at jewelry... yikes!
Working on the menu and sending down payment to reception venue


Next up~
Find a salon for wedding day
Relax for a few weeks and enjoy the holidays.
Buy a printer for the DIY stuff
Save $$$

 

[recordaras]

Look at you go! Congrats on the amazing progress!

I've been taking it slow - although I'm really happy that I secured a spot with an amazing seamstress who has nothing but great reviews and is also really close to me. She said she was almost all filled up for June, so it was a good thing I called early!
I also did one of the most stupid things imaginable - I decided to get the wrinkles out of my beautiful veil. I know that ironing is a no-no, and we don't have a steamer, so for some reason I thought it would be a GREAT idea to spray some water on the heavily creased parts and use a blow dryer to "create" steam. Well of course I ended up burning a hole in it. It's about 5 inches from the top, and the seamstress said it shouldn't be too difficult to cut that part off and resew it onto the comb, but now I get to obsess over whether the veil will become to short after that...

I also bought a hoop skirt on ebay for $9 (my skirt has built-in crinolines, but I'm considering doing half tulle and half hoop to keep the skirt off of my legs - it gives off so much heat!) and was so surprised with how nice it was!

To do:
Send out last save the dates after holidays (FI couldn't get me his friends' mailing addresses for ages, and now I don't want it to get mixed in with the holiday mail)
Secure officiant!!!!!!!
Go to tailor to take FI's measurements and order his tux
Figure out sash and buy several pairs of shoes at different heel heights to bring to first fitting (need to find the perfect heel that would let us get away without hemming the dress)

Speaking of officiants, can I share my woes? VT is... well, a little weird in that aspect. All we want is a middle aged decently dressed man (for some reason we both agree that we always pictured a male officiant) who can speak well. Not really too much to ask, right? Well, apparently it might be. You have your detox yoga instructor, and your poet laureate of come city in CT/life coach, and you have your JoP who dresses up as the Grim Reaper of course, but the closest non-hippie officiant lives 2.5 hours away. And just as I was about to send him an email, I googled him and found his facebook. And of course it turns out that he's into all these crazy conspiracy theories. I know I shouldn't judge... but I do. FI says we should still give him a call to see how long it takes him to break out the "Obama is a secret muslim" chants, but I'm just kind of frustrated at this point. Is it really that hard to post all your politics in visible only to friends mode?..

 

[recordaras]

Ah, another fun project of mine is figuring out wedding makeup! I would really love to have somebody do my makeup professionally, but so far I've had two "trials" at the MAC counter and neither was a really good match. The second try was nice, but a little too every day makeup, but the first time was HORRIBLE. They made me look both old and angry!
Since we're planning from afar, trials are a little tricky to organize, so I figured I'll prepare for the worst and have everything on hand. In any case my skin is so crazy and sensitive that I can't really expect the makeup artist to have something that will agree with it without testing first.

 

[antiquesparkler]

I totally feel your pain with the officiant... argh. Do you have a friend/relative/family friend that could marry you two?

Wedding make-up... I am not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, I want to feel pampered on our day and not worry but on the other hand I really want to feel like me. My thought right now is that I will go to Clinique and have my make up done and then buy everything they used and do it myself. My skin is too sensitive to walk into a salon and have them do it. Plus, I want to be able to touch up throughout the day. I will probably enlist one of my friends to come with me and take good notes on what they are doing/using. I did my own make up for our engagement pictures... including fake eyelashes and I think they turned out okay.

Yay for save the dates! I sent mine Saturday. Hopefully they dont get lost in the holiday mail...

 

[TooPatient]

AS -- Would they allow you to video the make-up process? For that matter, if your friend carries a tablet computer she can record and just not say anything about it. You aren't looking to post it online or share with anyone...

Great progress both of you!

 

[antiquesparkler]

That is an AMAZING idea, TP-- thank you!!!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Hi ladies!!!

i am finally done my semester and it was a tough one. I want to read through and catch up on the comments in the next few days!

As for me, i bought another wedding dress....oops. Frankendress was becoming a mess. Plane ticket would be too expensive...way to big and hot for a summer wedding - so i bought the dress i originally fell in love with (before frankendress and my friends opinions!). I still don't know what i will do with frankendress. I might drop it off at a consignment shop and see if i could get it sold that way. My new dress is light, can fit in a carry on and i think it's perfect for me! Here she issss....


Can't wait to catch up and see where everyone is at!

 

[antiquesparkler]

LLC! You're back! Love the new dress- that beading is gorgeous and the ruffles make if light and airy feeling. Frankendress?! LOL! Did you post any pictures of it? Now I want to see it....

There are several used wedding dress websites. Do a google search and put it on some of those. I had friend sell 2 that way and she recovered some of her money.

 

[recordaras]

Your dress is lovely! And now I'm super curious to see frankendress too, ha.

 

[Rebecca0388]

Hey ladies - thanks to your help and inspiration I've been kicking my weddings butt haha. I was going through my emails from the lady from our venue and she had given me a link to a preferred suppliers list. It was like finding gold. So far using this list I have:

Booked hair and make up for the day. 1 lady does hair 1 lady does make up. I go for a trial on April 19th because they are crazy busy (but I think that's a good sign) so fingers crossed. They are really reasonable use great products and will come to the house on the day.

Booked a photo booth for my favours/entertainment

Have gotten a quote and decided what cars we will be using!

Found a florist that I love and have a really great quote for all the flowers, bouquets and reception.

The best thing is most of the preferred suppliers offer discounts and packages and have worked with my venue many times.

Yay this is fun, next up dress shopping

 

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies,

I love reading all the updates! I was locked out of Pricescope for at least a week after I lost my password and couldn't log in. Drats! It was awful. I finally found it and logged in again though. :0)

You are all doing so great with your to-do list. I am sending my Save the Dates in January after the holiday cards are done... and after I actually do my Save the Dates which is on my to-do list next week after Christmas!!! I have a week and a half off from work so I hope to do it then.

I also just booked a trip for SO and I to Napa Valley to meet with vendors next month! We will be out there for a week and we are doing two cake tastings, food tasting from prospective caterer, beer tasting, florist visit, meeting our prospective officiant, and stopping by a party rentals and linens store to look. I am also catching up with our wedding day coordinator to review where I am at so far and to make sure I'm on track. It should be a very productive trip... and who doesn't love going to Napa Valley?!


PS: I am attaching a palette of my FINAL wedding colors. This has to have been the most difficult part of wedding planning for me. Honestly!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Maple, I wanna go to Napa and wedding plan! How fun! I love your wedding colors! Beautiful!

Rebecca, I love that phrase! I am kicking my wedding's butt! hahhaha. I am totally using that. You made so much progress! Congrats! So I love LOVE flowers! What are you doing for flowers? If you dont mind sharing....

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Maple! I love the wedding colors!

OK i still haven't gotten a chance to go ALL the way back to everything i've missed - but i saw the makeup posts! I did a trial at a MAC counter. Sandals only uses MAC cosmetics and i have sensitive skin and i only wear bare minerals. I was scared crapless to book makeup trial/day of without trying out MAC first. So i did and the girl made me look freakin incredible and i didn't break out from it...SCORE!!!! I think you just have to buy $45 worth of products for a full face trial. I am going back to buy the foundation before the wedding to take with me because it was part of their mineral collection and i have confirmed with sandals that they do not carry the mineral line...so i have to bring it with me so that i know my face will look in tip top shape.

I thought i posted about Frankendress here, but i could be wrong. Here's the long and short of it. The dress i posted was the ORIGINAL dress that i wanted. I went shopping alone and fell in LOVE with it. My best friend ended up moving home at the end of summer (she had moved pretty far away with her now husband and they both wanted to move home). So, she pretty much wanted me to wait to purchase so she could come with me. The first shop we went to had frankendress. It was a maggie sottero gown and discontinued. It was legit like 1/2 price. She loved the dress, blah blah blah...i had a moment of weakness and bought it. It was like 4 sizes too big...beautiful but too freakin BIG. ALL SATIN. Heavy as all heck. Perfect for the princess ball gown wedding but not really good for a summer island 90 degree temp wedding. Plus, i would have had to bought it a PLANE TICKET. Thats how large this thing was. Well i broke down one sunday night and i told SO and bawled my eyes out. He had seen the original dress, but not this one - so i showed him. He liked both, but told me to do whatever i want because he wants me to feel beautiful and happy on my wedding day. So i went back and tried on the original dress - and fell in love again and bought it on the spot. SOOOOOOOOO now i have this massive dress, which i actually had the seamstress take it in on the sides (wishing i hadn't now!!) because i was so upset and couldn't envision the dress fitting me. I wouldn't even know how to package the thing...i don't know how to sell it online when its not the label size and its not even fully altered to my size...its like in middle world. I wanted to donate it to brides against breast cancer or something....but they want a $100 donation....and it put a bad taste in my mouth. So i'm thinking consignment shop...i'm not really sure what to do with it. Anyways...i guess i'll post a pic...

Maggie Sottero 'Vana' - aka FRANKENDRESS! Mind you its pinned inches on the side so they stick out...plus its a picture taken from a chair...not the most flattering angle.

 

[recordaras]

Oh my, LLC, your new dress is SO much nicer! Frankendress is just... no.

As for selling, you could try your local craigslist boards (so you won't have to deal with shipping - people can come and pick it up), or putting it up on tradesy/preownedweddingdresses with a note that it's local pick up only (if they allow that of course).

And another donation option is Brides Across America - they are an amazing program that provide free gowns for military brides (I got my gown through them and wish I could somehow contact and thank the wonderful person that donated it!).
They recommend (don't require) a $100 donation for *worn* gowns to cover the cost of dry cleaning, but since yours is brand new you should be all set!

 

[Rebecca0388]

Rebecca, I love that phrase! I am kicking my wedding's butt! hahhaha. I am totally using that. You made so much progress! Congrats! So I love LOVE flowers! What are you doing for flowers? If you dont mind sharing....

Sure!

Im not 100% but i think i want different coloured carnations, with me having all white. Then the groomsmen have the matching colour carnation to their partner for the buttonhole. The groom having white.

But i also love the combination of sweet pea, carnations and roses i will try and dig up some photos to see what you guys like

 

[recordaras]

Oooh, Rebecca, I LOVE the ombre effect! So gorgeous!

 

[recordaras]

Next step - cake!
First of all, I had no idea it was SO expensive... I contacted several vendors, and the one who got back to me first said that her prices start at $6.50/slice for the basic stuff and go up to $9.50/serving, and that delivery would be around $150 (it's a 30 minute drive!). A lot of the others had $300-350 minimum orders for wedding cakes specified on their websites. I now understand why cupcakes are so popular in the wedding world!

There is just no way we would pay $300 for 25 servings of cake, and fortunately several of the bakers were willing to go under their minimum order due to the fact that it's a Sunday wedding. Now waiting to hear back on what their pricing would be for what I have in mind (small 2 tier white cake in either smooth fondant or textured buttercream with sugar flowers).

 

[antiquesparkler]

LLC, Frankendress isnt that bad! If you were having a wedding in a ballroom, it could be amazing but for the beach, I love LOVE the new dress! Much more beach-like. Luckily, I have had my mom and best friend reminding me that my dress is perfect for the beach every time I pin a gorgeous ball gown. Its hard not to have second thoughts about the dress. I love your choice and I love that your FI was super understanding.

I love the ombre flowers!

Cake is super expensive. We are ordering a small cake for us to cut and then cupcakes for all of our guests from our favorite local bakery. We will pick them up the day before and drive them up ourselves. I am debating about one big cake for everyone because the cost would be about the same either way.

I think after the first of the year, I will start nailing down a hair and make up appt and that sort of stuff. I feel like everyone is so busy and I dont want my appointment/order/etc. to get lost in the shuffle.

 

[recordaras]

By the way one of the bakers said that for larger weddings they often do a small "pretty" cake that the couple cuts, and then a sheet cake in the same flavor that gets cut and served in the kitchen - and sheet cake is infinitely less expensive than the large double and triple tiered ones.

 

[Rebecca0388]

Recordaras - don't you feel like that everytime you start looking into the next thing to do! Haha I feel everything is way more expensive than I thought it would be.

A single tier cake is included in my venue package which is lucky. In Aus we have places that make fake cakes. They look absolutely beautiful but I believe what they do is cover styrofoam with icing and decorate it so it all looks so amazing and have a place where you can cut it. That way you can have a massive cake for a fraction of the price. They then serve up a sheet cake from the back.

We purchased my finaces wedding band which i love. its a plain yellow gold flat band i will have to try and get a photo of it but its wrapped for christmas.

Also my wedding band arrived from JbEG yesterday!! I was so excited it finally cleared through customs, I picked it up but I was supposed to wait til Christmas Day to open it. I couldn't help my self, as soon as my fiancé got home from worked I begged him to let me open it haha.

I'm not the best at taking photos this is just my iPhone, and I had to be quick before he took it off me haha.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Wow, Rebecca! It's stunning!

 

[recordaras]

How beautiful!!! Congratulations on the bands - what a big purchase.

 

[wakingdreams53]

Awesome progress ladies! Yes, I hadn't even gotten to cakes/cupcakes so I don't know the cost of those things, but the venue I "chose" offered as a part of their package, so that wasn't ever much of a concern. Rebecca your band is GORGEOUS! & your colors rock. I'm sorry about your Frankendress LLC-- it's beautiful though! Your new one is so flowy, much more summer-ready. I like maple's suggestions, but be wary of shipping a dress that big. Craigslist perhaps? Local pick-up?

In my world, FI is dragging his feet on appropriately asking for my hand-- which sucks because I want to share this time with my parents! I can't justify going wedding dress shopping until they acknowledge our engagement, but loophole! I found a place that would let me try on dresses at HOME! I ordered 2 dresses to check out the style, color and quality.

I got my mom excited about them coming -- sample size supposed to fit from 0-12-- so we fantasized about both trying them on and taking pictures and having fun Well the quality wasn't great, but we did have fun! By the end though she wished I would spend a month playing "dress-up" and get sick of wedding dresses and decide to not get married.

Neither dress is "the one," but I did learn a few things! 1)I look better in a light ivory than a stark white. 2) chapel-length trains are friggin' long and not practical unless you bustle or are laying down The second dress was much better than the first, but still not as quality as I'd like. Oh, I also learned that doing a corset back by yourself is extremely aggravating and having someone else do it is much better.

Some (face blurred out) pix!




ETA: my hair is a mess, sorry!

 

[TooPatient]

Beautiful flowers! I love the carnations you posted!

WD -- Love the dresses! I hope he quits dragging his feet soon so you can go try some nice quality ones on!


Cake -- Keep looking around until you find a cake that looks nice, tastes good, and is in your budget! Our 3-tiered cake (10", 8", 6" -- supposed to feed more like 70 people?) with different flavors of cake and filling for each tier (and 3 layers per tier) came in at something like $250 (less actually I think).
Delivery almost 2 hours away was only $80.
They didn't charge "per slice" -- they had a base price for each sized tier and it went up if you wanted more elaborate decoration.

One thing to check with your venue on is if they have a "cake fee" (serving fee, plating fee, whatever). Some places will waive the fees if you do a single cake but will charge big (like $4+ sometimes) if you serve cupcakes. I ran into it at a couple of venues we talked with and read here in BWW about other brides running into these things.