Ering vs. RHRs... do you have "rules"??

[msop04]

I actually think a larger, blingier ring looks more at home on the right and doesn't take anything away from the solitaire on the left.

Lol @december-fire for offering up her services

I think I'm a weirdo, @bludiva... as this would make me crazy. Another consideration is that I'm a lefty, so my right hand is what is seen as I write. Idk if this is even a thing, but then again, I'm the crazy who started this thread, so...

Wait. Are you saying you think my halo RHR is larger and blingier than my ering??!!??
**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............**

 

[Dancing Fire]

The hubby's diamond can go up to 75% of his wife's center diamond weight.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

The hubby's diamond can go up to 75% of his wife's center diamond weight.

Thank goodness my husband is content with a gold band! I can have all the diamonds!

 

[msop04]

Thank goodness my husband is content with a gold band! I can have all the diamonds!

#AMEN
There's only room for one bling ho at my house... until the baby gets older. Then I'll consider another.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I am so sorry this has turned out this way for you! They are both beautiful rings and I don't think the RHR outshines your engagement ring. DS made good points about the diamond not being white even though the halo is.

Anyhoo, it doesn't matter what any of us think. If it makes you unhappy every time you put it on, then that simply won't work. Maybe a smaller halo, three stone ring or bezel setting would allow you to enjoy the stone without feeling like it overwhelms your wedding set. Life is too short to be miserable so either change the setting or sell the ring and look for something else. I sense how disappointed you are with the outcome but don't feel bad - we are all a bit OCD about diamonds else we probably wouldn't be here so no worries!

I realize however, that I didn't answer your original question. My rule about erings vs. RHRs is that they must BALANCE so I totally get where you are coming from. For me, they have to balance in size but not appearance. I have my ering and band and a five stone RHR that was an anniversary gift. I feel that they must compliment each other and I have nor want other rings to interchange them with. Some might call it boring - I call if comfortable and content - lol!!

 

[foxinsox]

Would wearing the RHR on your middle or pointer finger also help reduce the feeling of comparing the two? I think that your ering more than holds its own against your new OEC - it may be that you’re not used to wearing something that obvious on your right hand? The challenge to just wear it should help you get used to it. And if not, I’ll queue up behind D_F to volunteer to wear it for you

 

[bludiva]

I think I'm a weirdo, @bludiva... as this would make me crazy. Another consideration is that I'm a lefty, so my right hand is what is seen as I write. Idk if this is even a thing, but then again, I'm the crazy who started this thread, so...

Wait. Are you saying you think my halo RHR is larger and blingier than my ering??!!??
**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH............**

Lololol i was thinking of overall spread and statement RHRs in general but *your* ER must be blinding in person and impossible to outshine. I like the more intricate settings on the right personally.

 

[arkieb1]

I tend to wear diamonds on the left hand unless they are small and understated and then they go on the right hand and wear coloured stones on the right.

 

[december-fire]

Ok ladies... here are the basic rules again.

for a RHR...up to 75% of your e-ring carat weight "center stone".
for earring studs .....75% ctw of your e-ring "center stone".
for solitaire pendant .....50% the weight of your e-ring "center stone"
for bracelet.....3 X the weight of your e-ring "center stone"

@Dancing Fire ,
I can't figure out the multi-quote feature for when I want to quote, you know, multiple quotes.

But what about us single ladies?
Can I buy a 'Non-e' e-ring worth 10% of my home's value (love that Rule).
And, since there's no husband in the picture on whom to spend 75% of the e-ring value, can I add that to the budget for my 'non-e' e-ring?
That would give me 17.5% of my home's value for the ring!

Can I wear it on my left-hand ring finger?

I'll hold off on the purchase until I hear your Rules.

 

[Dancing Fire]

@Dancing Fire ,

But what about us single ladies?
Can I buy a 'Non-e' e-ring worth 10% of my home's value (love that Rule).
And, since there's no husband in the picture on whom to spend 75% of the e-ring value, can I add that to the budget for my 'non-e' e-ring?
That would give me 17.5% of my home's value for the ring!

Can I wear it on my left-hand ring finger?

I'll hold off on the purchase until I hear your Rules.

Go for it! please post lots of pic. of the finished ring..

 

[december-fire]

@Dancing Fire ,
WooHoo! Glad it won't break any Rules!

Now, first step, find a great big diamond!

Hmmm, no, that would be the second step.

First step, find the funds.

 

[m-2-b]

I have 2 ER rings but both are in halos (so they are equivalent in size). I usually wear one or the other on the left hand only, as I've found that I don't usually wear RHR's at all. I tend to gravitate towards my VC halo on most days b/c it is so comfortable to wear.

Have you thought about changing your solitaire setting back into a blingy halo as an alternative?

 

[Dancing Fire]

@Dancing Fire ,
WooHoo! Glad it won't break any Rules!

Now, first step, find a great big diamond!

Hmmm, no, that would be the second step.

First step, find the funds.

Much easier to find a rich BF!...

 

[daintyG]

I used to wear a really small emerald cut ering as a rhr all the time. It was obviously an ering and I guess I have come to realize that I don’t feel comfortable wearing an ering on both hands. I did it anyway for a long time because I love diamond erings and couldn’t just wear one at once.

Recently I have been able to only wear an ering on the left and keep my right hand bare. I rotate the different erings.

 

[nala]

I can see what you mean. But tbh, our rules don't matter if you just aren't comfortable wearing both. I have quite a few rhr's and always wear at least one! The only thing I try to avoid is wearing a halo on my left and a halo on my right with a white diamond or a solitaire on my right with a white diamond. Everything else is fair game if the ring is comfy and easy maintenance--meaning I don't have to stress over banging the ring or if it's set too high. Fwiw, I doubt anyone will notice or think you are wearing 2 errings. I love looking at women's rings and never think anything, I just appreciate the eye candy!

 

[nala]

Hi msop04, you're certainly not crazy and I feel your pain. I am a(n) ORRTA sorta of girl also.

In theory I love more rings but in reality I basically only wear Bea and a WB or 2 with her depending on the temp to keep her fitting comfortably.

I recently bought a gorgeous antique cluster ring to wear on my right hand and while I wear it occasionally I probably shouldn't have bought it as I prefer wearing just Bea. If we have a special evening out I will wear my Cartier Black Opal on my right hand and Bea on the left but generally it's just Bea.

All this to say I get what you are saying and yes some of us are similar. We prefer one ring to rule them all and while variety is nice occasionally my preference is generally simple and classic and one ring on my left hand.

There is no wrong or right here. It is what makes you feel good. Hope you figure it out and do what feels best for you. Don't worry about what others might or might not think. It doesn't matter. If you love the new ring and enjoy wearing it when you do great. No one says you have to wear your right hand rings all the time. Sometimes occasionally is enough. Good luck and enjoy!

Attaching 2 pics. First one to show them together because I cannot take selfie pics on both hands haha. I don't wear it like that because it does take away attention from Bea. Too much going on for my taste with both of them on the same hand.




And last one showing how I wear it if I wear it. On right hand index.

Missy I love this look! I wish my index finger wasn't crooked so I could pull off this look!

 

[dk168]

I do not wear my 1.19ct EC every day as it is too blingy for casual wear.
I had a 5mm band made with a 0.43ct EC set East West that I wear daily as my RHR, and have a selection of smaller CS rings to wear on my left hand.
I am in UK where spendings on and the wearing of blings tend to be more conservative, e.g. average E-ring is about half a carat.
DK

 

[lissyflo]

I seem to be in the minority in that I don’t like balance between rings on each my hands. I generally wear my engagement ring and wedding band on my left (plus a second band in winter to keep a better fit when my hands shrink) and a stack of bands on my ring hand ring finger. If I want to wear a bigger/blingier ring on my right hand, I generally swap the band stack onto my left hand instead of my engagement ring. That wouldn’t work for you if you’re a ORTRTA lady though!

I definitely agree with the suggestions to just try it and see if you get used to it after a while. Or to try on your middle finger and see if you’re more comfortable - I think rings look slightly smaller on that finger as they’re centred more on your hand, plus it looks less ‘mirror imagey’ with the left hand which, I think, draws comparison away from the 2 rings.

Failing that, is there any way DK could convert the head of the ring into a pendant that you might wear more? It’s far too beautiful to sit unworn!

 

[lissyflo]

It’s too late to edit my post above, but I wanted to add that it could make a beautiful bangle too. I’d opt for bangle over pendant if you were interested in a conversion, as I’d want to be able to see such a beautiful colour stone myself!

 

[rockysalamander]

I have no rules other than whatever is on my dominant hand has to be durable and lacking in pointy parts. I have to handle animals on occasion and don't want to cause any injury. Otherwise, I wear what I like whenever I like. I've inherited and had made a variety of items that I like to mix and match. I tend to wear my wedding band on one or the other hand daily. But, everything else is optional. On the cost, IDK. If you've owned your house for a long time and yet have increased family income -- you may have a larger percent on your finger over time as you move out of the income sucking parts of your life (e.g., kids, paying for school, house, etc.).

I'm not in the ORRTA camp. I like what I like and will wear it. I have gemstones that are larger and more spready than my ering. I wear them on my RH when my workday allows. I also have a very clear limit to how much height off my finger I like, that that inherently limits the size of the stone unless I move into more spready fancy cuts to gain spread without height.

If I had more 'normal' sized fingers, I'd probably end up the Imelda Marcos of vintage rings...

 

[msop04]

I am so sorry this has turned out this way for you! They are both beautiful rings and I don't think the RHR outshines your engagement ring. DS made good points about the diamond not being white even though the halo is.

Anyhoo, it doesn't matter what any of us think. If it makes you unhappy every time you put it on, then that simply won't work. Maybe a smaller halo, three stone ring or bezel setting would allow you to enjoy the stone without feeling like it overwhelms your wedding set. Life is too short to be miserable so either change the setting or sell the ring and look for something else. I sense how disappointed you are with the outcome but don't feel bad - we are all a bit OCD about diamonds else we probably wouldn't be here so no worries!

I realize however, that I didn't answer your original question. My rule about erings vs. RHRs is that they must BALANCE so I totally get where you are coming from. For me, they have to balance in size but not appearance. I have my ering and band and a five stone RHR that was an anniversary gift. I feel that they must compliment each other and I have nor want other rings to interchange them with. Some might call it boring - I call if comfortable and content - lol!!

Thanks for your comments, @MissGotRocks... I feel silly about the whole thing because the ring is absolutely stunning -- more so than I thought it would be! I am at work now and wearing the ring. I'm definitely conscious of it, but I'm trying to just be... I'll also wear it tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to get past my crazy and simply enjoy the ring. **fingers crossed**

My first thought was a three stone bezel with the OEC, but I already have a three stone with a gray spinel... If I'm being honest, I don't think the color would be as apparent in any other setting than a white halo, because it just makes it pop! I've thought about resetting it, but I just can't dismantle it.
Also, I worry that if I did, the color wouldn't show as much in the second setting, and I wouldn't be happy with that outcome either... Geez, I know I sound like a whiney brat, but I'm just really sad about it all...

 

[msop04]

Would wearing the RHR on your middle or pointer finger also help reduce the feeling of comparing the two? I think that your ering more than holds its own against your new OEC - it may be that you’re not used to wearing something that obvious on your right hand? The challenge to just wear it should help you get used to it. And if not, I’ll queue up behind D_F to volunteer to wear it for you

That's a thought, @foxinsox... I don't really wear rings on my middle finger, and I'm not sure how sizing would work with the tri-wire. Yes, wearing it some more will be the true test!

...and I'll put you in line! HA!

 

[msop04]

I tend to wear diamonds on the left hand unless they are small and understated and then they go on the right hand and wear coloured stones on the right.

I guess you could call my OEC a colored stone...

 

[msop04]

I have 2 ER rings but both are in halos (so they are equivalent in size). I usually wear one or the other on the left hand only, as I've found that I don't usually wear RHR's at all. I tend to gravitate towards my VC halo on most days b/c it is so comfortable to wear.

Have you thought about changing your solitaire setting back into a blingy halo as an alternative?

Gosh, if I had two erings like yours, I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven!!

I haven't thought of changing my soli back to a halo, as I prefer the solitaire much more. When I was trying to decide on a setting for my RHR, I didn't really want a halo because it was so blingy... I was actually more in favor of a three stone. However, this style complimented the color of the OEC so well! ...and now it's wonderful and blingy and I'm not wanting to wear it. :: sigh ::

 

[msop04]

I used to wear a really small emerald cut ering as a rhr all the time. It was obviously an ering and I guess I have come to realize that I don’t feel comfortable wearing an ering on both hands. I did it anyway for a long time because I love diamond erings and couldn’t just wear one at once.

Recently I have been able to only wear an ering on the left and keep my right hand bare. I rotate the different erings.

I hear you, @daintyG... I usually keep my right hand bare, but since I got the gray spinel bezeled three stone, I like wearing one when I'm a little more "dressed"...

 

[msop04]

I can see what you mean. But tbh, our rules don't matter if you just aren't comfortable wearing both. I have quite a few rhr's and always wear at least one! The only thing I try to avoid is wearing a halo on my left and a halo on my right with a white diamond or a solitaire on my right with a white diamond. Everything else is fair game if the ring is comfy and easy maintenance--meaning I don't have to stress over banging the ring or if it's set too high. Fwiw, I doubt anyone will notice or think you are wearing 2 errings. I love looking at women's rings and never think anything, I just appreciate the eye candy!

That's the thing... I'm not comfortable bc I feel like the RHR outshines my ering... that's the issue. I guess it's kind of my rule, and even though I know it doesn't matter to a lot of people... it does bother me. I'm not really worried about anythone thinking they are both erings, I just hate it when my RHR gets noticed/commented on more than my ering. Silly, but how I feel. I'm a freak, I know. LOL

 

[bludiva]

@msop04 i think you're right that the color would not show as well without the halo for contrast. I have a slightly darker stone in a solitaire and people do not see the yellow until I point it out. I think you chose the perfect setting to let the diamond shine fwiw. I could see it as a lovely pendant also.

 

[MissGotRocks]

So I saved this suggestion for last but perhaps it is the only solution. . .

Upgrade the ering to a larger diamond!!!! LOL!

 

[msop04]

I seem to be in the minority in that I don’t like balance between rings on each my hands. I generally wear my engagement ring and wedding band on my left (plus a second band in winter to keep a better fit when my hands shrink) and a stack of bands on my ring hand ring finger. If I want to wear a bigger/blingier ring on my right hand, I generally swap the band stack onto my left hand instead of my engagement ring. That wouldn’t work for you if you’re a ORTRTA lady though!

I definitely agree with the suggestions to just try it and see if you get used to it after a while. Or to try on your middle finger and see if you’re more comfortable - I think rings look slightly smaller on that finger as they’re centred more on your hand, plus it looks less ‘mirror imagey’ with the left hand which, I think, draws comparison away from the 2 rings.

Failing that, is there any way DK could convert the head of the ring into a pendant that you might wear more? It’s far too beautiful to sit unworn!

I hadn't even though of converting it to a pendant... hmmm... that's definitely something to consider, since I adore the stone and setting. Thanks for the suggestion, @lissyflo!

Do you think it's possible to reuse the shank for another project, or is that wishful thinking??

 

[msop04]

So I saved this suggestion for last but perhaps it is the only solution. . .

Upgrade the ering to a larger diamond!!!! LOL!

I'd do it in a hearbeat!! ...if only the funds were there. HA!

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to upgrade enough for the size increase to be noticeable. I've played around, and I know it would take at least a 10.6-10.8, and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to afford that anytime in the near future... or at all. If I change anything, it will be to go from a MRB to an OEC in the same diameter. OECs are just... magical.

But I must say, I like your thinking!!