Caring for the elderly.

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/10/2008 2:32:12 PM
Author: Linda W
Ellen: OK lady, you have the tears rolling down my face now.

, but what you say is true. I still grieve for my dad at times, I still miss him, my mom does too. I miss his sense of humor. He was so darn funny and she is so lonely without him. I wished she lived closer to us, but she is an hour away.

My aunt and uncle are coming up, for a week like I said. My aunt drives my mom nuts ha ha ha. She is a non stop talker, yak yak yak yak. My mom always has to tell her to please stop talking, she is giving her a headache. HA!!!!!

Skippy: Thank you for your sweet thoughts today. How is your dear mother doing today???


Love,

Linda

Linda, my mom is great, thanks for asking; her appt with the surgeon is next week. I am guessing he will say she is doing well.

Oh no, I am sorry, your aunt drives your dear mom banana''s; hopefully it is a loving bananas. Hugs and prayers dear Linda!

 

[Linda W]

Skippy: I am so glad your mother is doing well and healing fast.

My mother loves her sister dearly, she is 3 years younger then my mom. She just drives her crazy with her constant jibber jabber. tee hee.

Linda

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/10/2008 11:05:57 PM
Author: Linda W
Skippy: I am so glad your mother is doing well and healing fast.

My mother loves her sister dearly, she is 3 years younger then my mom. She just drives her crazy with her constant jibber jabber. tee hee.

Linda

LOL, with the jibber jabber, I am glad it is good! thank you! How are you feeling? I have been keeping you in my prayers too!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 7/10/2008 10:25:14 PM
Author: Skippy123
Linda, my mom is great, thanks for asking; her appt with the surgeon is next week. I am guessing he will say she is doing well.

Oh no, I am sorry, your aunt drives your dear mom banana''s; hopefully it is a loving bananas. Hugs and prayers dear Linda!

Yes. Or funny bananas, like Chequita.

"I''m a Chiquita banana and I''m here to say....."

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/11/2008 8:33:07 AM
Author: Ellen
Yes. Or funny bananas, like Chequita.

''I''m a Chiquita banana and I''m here to say.....''

Ooooh, I love Chequita banana, when my sister and I were kids we would fight over the banana with the Chequita lady stick; I am sure Linda knows this with her grandsons after she told us they fight over cereal. hehe

Thanks Miss Ellen for the big ole Chequita smile

 

[Ellen]

I used to love singing the song and dancing like her.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/11/2008 10:25:14 AM
Author: Ellen
I used to love singing the song and dancing like her.

LOL

How does the song go? Isn't it something like "I am a chiquita banana la la la." hehe And you danced like her too, woooo hooooo Ellen, shakin it like Miss Chiquita!

 

[Ellen]

Oops, I had the first line a bit wrong. Oh well, it''s been years...

I''m Chiquita Banana, and I''ve come to say
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way.
And when they are flecked with brown
and have a golden hue,
Bananas taste the best, and are the best for you.
You can put them in a salad. You can put
them in a pie - aye.
Anyway you want to eat them it''s
impossible to beat them.
But bananas like the climate of the very,
very tropical equator.
So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/11/2008 10:40:27 AM
Author: Ellen
Oops, I had the first line a bit wrong. Oh well, it's been years...

I'm Chiquita Banana, and I've come to say
Bananas have to ripen in a certain way.
And when they are flecked with brown
and have a golden hue,
Bananas taste the best, and are the best for you.
You can put them in a salad. You can put
them in a pie - aye.
Anyway you want to eat them it's
impossible to beat them.
But bananas like the climate of the very,
very tropical equator.
So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator.

Why don't they make commericals like that anymore?!?! I like that they got my sister and I fighting over the chiquita banana lady sticker and they got you shakin and singing it woman!!!

 

[Linda W]

Tee Hee, I can just see you dancing Ellen. ha ha ha.

I have been making the best Smoothies with those bananas, yummmmmmmmmy. I freeze them. Add frozen strawberries and my non fat yogurt.

Hi Skippy

 

[aprilcait]

Can I join? I apologize ahead of time for the length. I need a little input (and to do a little venting), if you wouldn’t mind.

Here's a brief background: DH's maternal grandmother has been having some increasing aging issues for the past year (falling down, being hospitalized for pneumonia, mobility and incontinence issues, etc.) and was recently placed in a nursing home after moving in with DH's parents for a while. DH and his siblings were surprised but relieved that the parents went for the nursing home idea, as they are of a Hispanic/Italian upbringing and that is not considered customary. FIL travels often for business and MIL has been having some serious health problems so she certainly cannot take care of the grandmother.

Here is a quick overview of the current situation: the nursing home is great, the staff is fabulous, DH's grandmother has quite a good situation there but she is more stubborn than usual (this woman is award-winningly stubborn on a good day) and is absolutely convinced that she should be out of the nursing home and living on her own at her own house without any help - that's an impossibility. No amount of reasoning will get through... it's her way or the highway. She's become horrendously verbally and emotionally abusive to DH's parents and they are starting to suffer physical stress symptoms from her behavior (i.e.: vomiting, backaches, lack of sleep, headaches). MIL gets a stomachache whenever she sees the nursing home's number pop up on the caller ID (the grandmother calls numerous times a day to insult and berate MIL). MIL has started ignoring some of the calls but worries that she may ignore an emergency call by accident if she continues to do so.

DH's grandmother seems to completely forget that FIL is paying for everything for her; he paid for her to come to the US and bought her a house near them... and she's never been particularly nice to him (don't ask me how he does it). MIL is the only family that DH’s grandmother has here. How she can treat MIL and FIL so incredibly poorly is beyond me. Her lack of reasoning is astounding too, and I wonder if it's part of the aging process for her... she truly doesn't seem to realize what she can and cannot do.

DH's parents are looking for a counselor for the grandmother to see if that might help. However, the search is a tad complicated as the grandmother does not speak English. They doubt the counselor will be able to help the grandmother, but it's worth a shot!

Have any of you dealt with someone acting like this? Is this lack of rationality and the verbal abuse common for a non-Alzheimers patient? (I know that often Alzheimers can cause anger, moodiness, behavior changes, etc.) Any recommendations?

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/11/2008 1:38:00 PM
Author: aprilcait



Can I join? I apologize ahead of time for the length. I need a little input (and to do a little venting), if you wouldn’t mind




Have any of you dealt with someone acting like this? Is this lack of rationality and the verbal abuse common for a non-Alzheimers patient? (I know that often Alzheimers can cause anger, moodiness, behavior changes, etc.) Any recommendations?

Aprilcait, You are welcome to join. Oh gosh, I am sorry your family is going through this, hugs and prayers outgoing to you. I don't know a whole lot but I have known people who had dementia and it changed them quite a bit. If you can I would have your family go to counseling; I think it would help them especially a counselor that specializes in aging parents. It sounds like it could help them in reasoning with her (or at least put them at ease this is normal and they are not bad people); maybe the nursing home could suggest someone. Maybe she has dementia? Also, sometimes when people can no longer take care of themselves they are in denial and can be resentful, I am very sorry you all are going through this.

 

[Linda W]

Welcome to this forum and it truly helpful.

Sometimes in the beginning stages of dementia people do become verbally abusive. One of my close girlfriends is going through this with her mother, who is also in a nursing home. It tears her apart. One day she is fine, the next day she is yelling at my friend.

I do hope a counselor will be able to help. I am so sorry your family is going through all of this.


Again, we are happy to have you here with us.

Linda

 

[justjulia]

Date: 7/11/2008 1:38:00 PM
Author: aprilcait

Can I join? I apologize ahead of time for the length. I need a little input (and to do a little venting), if you wouldn’t mind.

Here''s a brief background: DH''s maternal grandmother has been having some increasing aging issues for the past year (falling down, being hospitalized for pneumonia, mobility and incontinence issues, etc.) and was recently placed in a nursing home after moving in with DH''s parents for a while. DH and his siblings were surprised but relieved that the parents went for the nursing home idea, as they are of a Hispanic/Italian upbringing and that is not considered customary. FIL travels often for business and MIL has been having some serious health problems so she certainly cannot take care of the grandmother.

Here is a quick overview of the current situation: the nursing home is great, the staff is fabulous, DH''s grandmother has quite a good situation there but she is more stubborn than usual (this woman is award-winningly stubborn on a good day) and is absolutely convinced that she should be out of the nursing home and living on her own at her own house without any help - that''s an impossibility. No amount of reasoning will get through... it''s her way or the highway. She''s become horrendously verbally and emotionally abusive to DH''s parents and they are starting to suffer physical stress symptoms from her behavior (i.e.: vomiting, backaches, lack of sleep, headaches). MIL gets a stomachache whenever she sees the nursing home''s number pop up on the caller ID (the grandmother calls numerous times a day to insult and berate MIL). MIL has started ignoring some of the calls but worries that she may ignore an emergency call by accident if she continues to do so.

DH''s grandmother seems to completely forget that FIL is paying for everything for her; he paid for her to come to the US and bought her a house near them... and she''s never been particularly nice to him (don''t ask me how he does it). MIL is the only family that DH’s grandmother has here. How she can treat MIL and FIL so incredibly poorly is beyond me. Her lack of reasoning is astounding too, and I wonder if it''s part of the aging process for her... she truly doesn''t seem to realize what she can and cannot do.

DH''s parents are looking for a counselor for the grandmother to see if that might help. However, the search is a tad complicated as the grandmother does not speak English. They doubt the counselor will be able to help the grandmother, but it''s worth a shot!

Have any of you dealt with someone acting like this? Is this lack of rationality and the verbal abuse common for a non-Alzheimers patient? (I know that often Alzheimers can cause anger, moodiness, behavior changes, etc.) Any recommendations?

In my experience, yes. Lack of being rational, verbal abuse, and no alzheimers. My mother. However, there were people around her in the same boat but were not this way. My mother had always approached stress with anger (which I have read is really a manifestation of depression). I am assuming the nursing facility staff speaks her language? If so, then there will be an adjustment period when your MIL will need to communicate with the staff in such a way as to let them know that she cares and want to keep in communication with them. That way, you know what her status is, but don''t have to get it from her every hour. I do feel your stress. My mother fell a lot and was overdosing herself on her medications, while living with us (I had to hide everything). It was a difficult transition to a nursing facility. She only had insults for us. Your dh''s parents are now the parent of the grandparent. My mother had to have antidepressant medication, so she would not rip the heads off of everyone (verbally), including doctors (biting the nose off to save the face). It seemed to help.

 

[Ellen]

Welcome April! I''m so sorry to hear this, I can imagine how stressful it is.

You ask if she can have these symptoms but not have ALZ, but, is she being tested at least once a year for it? I am convinced my mom, who was just diagnosed with it in April, and had the same test run for years, has had it for probably 3 years. I think it shows up first to the ones closest, and only shows up through testing after reaching a certain point. I have read articles saying the same thing.

I would suggest, even if she has been tested recently, to have her see a doctor, be evaluated, discuss her behaviors, and have the doc hopefully put her on something. Whether it be for depression, or anxiety. Hopefully something can calm her down. I would really stress to his family to have this done.

Please keep us updated, as we will be thinking of you all now.

 

[jcrow]

Justjulia:

"My mother had always approached stress with anger (which I have read is really a manifestation of depression)"


really? i never knew this.


(sorry, i don''t have highlighting capabilities)

 

[justjulia]

Date: 7/11/2008 2:34:02 PM
Author: jcrow
Justjulia:


''My mother had always approached stress with anger (which I have read is really a manifestation of depression)''



really? i never knew this.



(sorry, i don''t have highlighting capabilities)

Yes. I wish I had an article or two to quote for you. If I find one, I''ll link it.
Some people self-medicate with alcohol or caffeine.

 

[justjulia]

Symptoms of elderly depression

Although the symptoms of depression are more or less the same for all ages, there are some differences in the way any depressive illness might manifest itself in the elderly. All of us can feel sad, lonely and fed up on occasions, without being depressed, but when persistent low moods continue beyond two weeks or more and are severe enough to interfere with ordinary daily activities and routines, then it is no longer considered normal no matter what age you are.

Confusion and memory lapses are relatively common symptoms in the depressed elderly, which they may mistake for the onset of dementia, but which are actually a result of an underlying depression. This in itself can cause a great deal of worry and distress. Some of the most common symptoms to watch out for that might indicate depression in the elderly include:

* Anxiety and worry

* Physical aches and pains

* Problems with memory

* Confusion, delusions and hallucinations

* Concentration difficulties, inability to focus

* Social withdrawal and lack of interest in other people

* Appetite changes and weight fluctuations

* Sleep disturbances, insomnia or hypersomnia

* Irritability, anger and dark moods

* Demanding behaviour

* Neglect of personal care

* Feelings of guilt and hopelessness

* Grief that continues long after bereavement

* Agitation and restlessness

* Feeling a burden to others

* Lack of energy and fatigue

* Decreased interest in activities they previously enjoyed

* Thoughts or talk of death, suicide or suicide attempts

What causes elderly depression?

There is no one cause of depression in any demographic group but a combination of psychological, physical, biological and environmental factors can trigger a depressive episode and in the elderly this includes:

* A previous history of depression

* Fear of dying or death or of losing someone close

* Frustration with disability or slowing down of mental faculties

* Loss of loved ones

* Major life events e.g. retirement, living alone, moving into a nursing or retirement home

* Loneliness and isolation

* Lack of support

* Decreased mobility

* Existing physical illness and pain

* Dependency on others

* A pessimistic view of the future

* Vascular changes in the brain

Treatment Options

Treatment options include medication, some form of psychotherapy and counselling, and in more severe cases of depression or where other forms of treatment have proved ineffective, possibly ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy).

If antidepressants are prescribed it is important that the doctor is aware of exactly what medications the individual is currently taking, both prescribed and over the counter preparations, to avoid any adverse interactions that might occur with antidepressants. The newer SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) have fewer side effects so may be a more favourable option for the elderly as older people tend to be more susceptible to the effects of any medication.
http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/elderly-depression.shtml

 

[aprilcait]

Ellen, thanks for the welcome! I will bring up ALZ testing to DH and see if his family has really put effort into the testing.

JustJulia, those symptoms of depression in the elderly fit DH''s grandmother pretty well.

Here comes some more venting... sorry, guys! I was so frustrated this weekend. There was a picnic at DH''s grandmother''s retirement home on Saturday. So, MIL, SIL, DH, and I thought we would come together to make this day fun for DH''s grandmother (note: FIL was on business travel and the 2 BILs live out of state). We all went to the picnic (the place did a FABULOUS job setting it all up, by the way... so much fun for all ages, and the staff was just as awesome as ever). Everything was fine until I went back to DH''s grandmother''s room to put an ice cream bar in her freezer. DH''s grandmother started following me in her wheelchair and told SIL: "you will help me pack now." SIL and DH asked her why they would do that and DH''s grandmother said: "because I''m going home." That was the end of a lovely day.

Knowing that this was the beginning of a problematic situation, SIL discretely told MIL to take that opportunity to slip out... MIL thankfully took the advice. DH''s grandmother started pitching a fit, calling us all sorts of terrible names in Spanish and Italian, calling us captors, demons, devils... I won''t go into the rest. What was the breaking point for me was when she grabbed my arm during her rant and scratched me... it broke the skin. It didn''t really hurt, but it was waaaay past the line of tolerable/acceptable behavior (not that I''m saying that the name-calling was acceptable). After trying to calm DH''s grandmother down (and failing miserably), we decided to just give her some cool-off time. So, we headed to some tables set up in the common area. Five minutes later, DH''s grandmother comes wheeling down the hall and starts hurling insults again. That''s when we decided it was time to leave. We informed the staff that we were leaving and that DH''s grandmother was in a foul mood. We said "goodbye" to grandma and left.

I still get miffed when I see the fingernail cut on my arm.

Serenity now...

 

[justjulia]

Date: 7/14/2008 12:38:33 PM
Author: aprilcait

Ellen, thanks for the welcome! I will bring up ALZ testing to DH and see if his family has really put effort into the testing.

JustJulia, those symptoms of depression in the elderly fit DH''s grandmother pretty well.

Here comes some more venting... sorry, guys! I was so frustrated this weekend. There was a picnic at DH''s grandmother''s retirement home on Saturday. So, MIL, SIL, DH, and I thought we would come together to make this day fun for DH''s grandmother (note: FIL was on business travel and the 2 BILs live out of state). We all went to the picnic (the place did a FABULOUS job setting it all up, by the way... so much fun for all ages, and the staff was just as awesome as ever). Everything was fine until I went back to DH''s grandmother''s room to put an ice cream bar in her freezer. DH''s grandmother started following me in her wheelchair and told SIL: ''you will help me pack now.'' SIL and DH asked her why they would do that and DH''s grandmother said: ''because I''m going home.'' That was the end of a lovely day.

Knowing that this was the beginning of a problematic situation, SIL discretely told MIL to take that opportunity to slip out... MIL thankfully took the advice. DH''s grandmother started pitching a fit, calling us all sorts of terrible names in Spanish and Italian, calling us captors, demons, devils... I won''t go into the rest. What was the breaking point for me was when she grabbed my arm during her rant and scratched me... it broke the skin. It didn''t really hurt, but it was waaaay past the line of tolerable/acceptable behavior (not that I''m saying that the name-calling was acceptable). After trying to calm DH''s grandmother down (and failing miserably), we decided to just give her some cool-off time. So, we headed to some tables set up in the common area. Five minutes later, DH''s grandmother comes wheeling down the hall and starts hurling insults again. That''s when we decided it was time to leave. We informed the staff that we were leaving and that DH''s grandmother was in a foul mood. We said ''goodbye'' to grandma and left.

I still get miffed when I see the fingernail cut on my arm.

Serenity now...

It does sound like a nice event!
Does grandma speak to any of the staff? Just curious if she has an outlet to express herself to anyone else there.
I would definitely get the on-staff social worker involved. Ours was wonderful beyond words.
I think you hit the nail on the head: Keep these visits short and pleasant. Would she like to go with the family to church on Sundays? Or other trips out and back? I''m guessing not, at least until she understands where and what the reality of the situation is. I think a social worker would be a good mediator now--grandmas isn''t hearing anything you all are saying yet. God bless you-- hang on.

 

[aprilcait]

JustJulia, there are a few staff members that speak Spanish which is great. One of the unilingual receptionists wanted to communicate with DH''s grandmother, so she actually went out on her own and bought herself a Spanish/English - English/Spanish dictionary... I thought that was very sweet. There are a few residents who speak Spanish and/or Italian. One particularly spunky resident actually came up to me during one visit and spoke about how excited she was to hear that DH''s grandmother was a native Italian speaker because she has been wanting to practice her Italian. Unfortunately, DH''s grandmother isn''t seeing this as an opportunity to make friends...she''s seeing it as a hostage situation. She has even more independence at the retirement home than she did at her own house or at MIL and FIL''s house. So, we''re having a bit of a problem fully empathizing.

We''re looking into a Spanish-speaking counselor. Unfortunately, the on-staff counselor does not speak Spanish or Italian. I''ll suggest looking into an on-staff social worker, as well. Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[Ellen]

april, I think a couple things could be going on. She might be suffering from a dementia/depression. Or, she could just be plain mad she is where she is. Let''s face it, no one wants to be in a nursing home. and some will handle it with more grace than others. My dad spent the last 5 months of his life in one, and still had his mind. I know he didn''t like it, but he rarely complained. And when he did, it wasn''t about being put in there, it was about staff stealing his candy, or the way they handled him physically. I marveled at his grace through it all, and only hope I can emulate that should I ever end up in one.

I''m not saying to excuse her behavior, I only offer this to try to understand it. And again, getting her on an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant med might work wonders.

Hang in there!

 

[justjulia]

This does sound like a nice place.

Okay, devil''s advocate here for a sec...people do get better and have been known to go back home after moving to a nursing facility (if they don''t have a terminal illness, etc.). If she is showing more independence now, what about the possibility of her moving back to her home and wearing one of those lifeline emergency response necklaces or bracelets? If she''s lucid, then if she falls or something catches fire, she can push a button for help. Sometimes the elderly get gastrointestinal bugs and things that make them mentally loopy, and then they get better. Is it completely ruled out that she can''t go back home?

 

[aprilcait]

Ellen, you hit the nail on the head. She is T''ed off beyond belief to not be living on her own, in her own house, and being able to do all of the things she could when she was 35. The problem is that she can''t anymore and doesn’t acknowledge having grown older. It was simply unsafe for her to live alone any longer and MIL and FIL certainly could not safely care for her. Honestly, in hindsight she shouldn’t have been living along for as long as she was. There were far too many falls.

JustJulia, I think I was a little imprecise in my post. Sorry about that! I meant that DH''s grandmother has more independence at the nursing home than she did at her own house or at MIL and FIL’s house because of the set-up at the nursing home, not that she is more able-bodied or coherent now. She just has a better, freer set-up with her own private, large room (with mini-kitchen) and her own bathroom. She can''t live with any of DH''s siblings or with DH and I because we all work full time. Plus she''s verbally abusive to people even when she''s staying in their home (one of the reasons MIL and FIL could no longer care for her) and none of us are ready handle more of that. Plus, with her incontinence issues, she needs full-time care.

When she lived on her own, we tried the full-time nurse route but she would lock the nurse out of the house and refuse to let her inside because she was convinced that she could live fully on her own. Before and during that time, she had the medic alert pendant but refused to push the button when she fell because she was convinced that she could get herself up. So she would wind up for hours on the floor until MIL got concerned that the grandmother hadn''t called or wasn''t answering the phone so DH and I would have to pick her up off the floor and clean her up. The woman is fiercely independent. Sadly, she does not/will not realize that she cannot live on her own.

I feel badly for her that she is so upset at the change, but I am also upset with her inability/unwillingness to be rational about the situation. Negotiation is a non-option with her.

Thanks for the support, suggestions, and reality checks! I really appreciate it.

 

[Linda W]

April: it is so hard to see someone want to be independent when they can''t be. I go through this with my mother. She is as stubborn as a mule.

Well, my aunt and uncle arrived this morning and already my mom is upset with my aunt. She is trying to talk my mom into getting ready for dialysis. My mom told her, she is not going to do it and those are her wishes. My aunt keeps arguing with her, as to why she should. I knew this was going to happen.

DH and I are going over mom''s on Saturday, so I will have to say something to my aunt. She rarely listens though, so I am going to have to be firm with her. My mom doesn''t need stress. We are taking our grand-boys too, so I know that will make them all happy.

Ellen: I miss you!! Miss chatting with you.

How is everyone doing????


Love, Linda

 

[aprilcait]

Linda, I''m sorry you''re facing that! **hugs**

 

[jcrow]

Date: 7/11/2008 6:35:07 PM
Author: justjulia

Date: 7/11/2008 2:34:02 PM

Author: jcrow

Justjulia:

''My mother had always approached stress with anger (which I have read is really a manifestation of depression)''

really? i never knew this.

(sorry, i don''t have highlighting capabilities)

Yes. I wish I had an article or two to quote for you. If I find one, I''ll link it.

Some people self-medicate with alcohol or caffeine.

thanks for the info!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 7/15/2008 5:09:44 PM
Author: Linda W
April: it is so hard to see someone want to be independent when they can't be. I go through this with my mother. She is as stubborn as a mule.

Well, my aunt and uncle arrived this morning and already my mom is upset with my aunt. She is trying to talk my mom into getting ready for dialysis. My mom told her, she is not going to do it and those are her wishes. My aunt keeps arguing with her, as to why she should. I knew this was going to happen.

DH and I are going over mom's on Saturday, so I will have to say something to my aunt. She rarely listens though, so I am going to have to be firm with her. My mom doesn't need stress. We are taking our grand-boys too, so I know that will make them all happy.

Ellen: I miss you!! Miss chatting with you.

How is everyone doing????


Love, Linda

How's it going with your mom now Linda, has auntie stopped arguing with her yet? And thanks for missing me you. I miss talking with you all too. Life has had the nerve to call while I was posting. So I need a bit of a break.

My brother is in town this weekend, and we're going to sit down with mom and address several issues with her. One of them is her spending on health supplements. I took the last 6 charge card statements and added up her "healthy" expenditures (and this does not take into account what she may pay for at the health food store with cash), and she is averaging 287.00 a month.

I'm pretty sure we won't get anywhere, but we're going to try. The only way we could literally stop it is to take away her CC, and I'm not ready to do that, yet. So, wish us luck, that we at least get somewhere on something.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[Linda W]

Hi Ellen sweetie,

I am so glad you are back. When you are gone, you are GREATLY MISSED.!!!!!!


That is a lot of money to be spending on health supplements, I hope by now you and your brother figured out, how to solve the problem. Please let us know.

Thank you for asking about my mother.

Yesterday, my aunt did ask my brother and I about my mom''s dialysis. We told her it is my moms decision (as much as we don''t like it either). All she said was OK!! Nothing more. She hasn''t brought it up to my mother, so maybe she will respect my mothers wishes. I hope so.

I have to admit, by the time we left last night, I had a raging headache. My aunt, as much as I love her, talks non-stop. She jumps from one subject to the other. Barely takes time out to take a breath.

My poor mom is exhausted.

I told mom, not to worry, they are leaving on Tuesday then she can rest. On the otherhand, she and my uncle are a huge help to my mom. Did all the grocery shopping, etc.

My brother brought meat to bbq, and I made several salads at home to bring yesterday, so no one had to cook yesterday, or today for that matter, with lots of left overs for them.


Well, this is all my news.


Skippy: How is your mother???

How is everyone else??? Hi Lisa

Love, Linda

 

[Ellen]

Linda, thank you, you are too kind.

I am so glad to hear your aunt isn''t arguing with your mom anymore. I guess she just needed to hear that was her wish. And I know what you mean about the non stop talking, I have a SIL and friend like that. It''s TRULY wearing.


My meeting went about as I expected, not very well. I did get her to agree to switch to a neurologist here in town, instead of the one almost an hour away she''s gone to for years, so that''s something. As for the supplements, at the moment (because I know her so well, this will change in the future) she has decided to cut out the stuff she has taken for years for her eyes, as she feels they haven''t helped her. And she has decided to quit some other stuff, but only because she''s going to try some new stuff.

Which as I pointed out, could end up costing as much or more than she''s spending now, but, I guess that doesn''t matter. She''s trying to find something that will keep her from being so tired. I asked if having Emphysema and being 82 could have anything to do with it, but apparently not. I''m not working with a rational mind here, so I''m kind of stuck, until I just want to get forceful and take her card away. We''ll just have to play it by ear and see how it goes.

At any rate, thanks for asking Linda.