At what point does the giving party get a say?

[Niel]

.

 

[msop04]

Right, so I generally agree but "people vary." Some men are just not into jewelry. An ER is a ring is a ring is a ring as long as it has a diamond center. The aesthetics of the setting, look & style are just beyond their interest and comprehension. They're not putting wants and tastes above when they don't have a taste.

The other point about not caring about the feedback when ring is not liked is sort of gray area. The old saying is "one does not look gift horse in the mouth"

Oh, I totally agree about the taste and not caring part!!

So.... like... why would they care, as long as SO likes it???

And I'm not talking about when a guy has the best intentions but no clue what she likes (how this could possibly happen is entirely beyond my comprehension ) or if the girl says, "I want you to pick it out - I want a total surprise!!" -- I'm talking about the giver purposely going against the SO's wishes/likes/style for the simple fact the giver doesn't like it or it's not the giver's taste. Completely different scenarios here...

 

[msop04]

.

OMG!!!

That's the horrible ring from Indepence Day!!! This is the EXACT thing I thought of when someone mentioned dolphins!! LMAO!!! (you crack me up, Niel!!)

...at least Will Smith's character knew she liked dolphins, but in an ering?? Had it not been the potential end of humanity, he should've come to PS.

 

[msop04]

The scenario I keep coming back to is the dolphin ring.

Imagine your a girl who's dream was always to get the dolphin ring from Independence day. She's Dermot about it for years. But the SO thinks its tremendously tacky, and doesn't want his GF showing everyone a ring that says "oh Jimmy gave this to me

Is her want more important?


Or imagine then other way around. The guy had dreamed forever about giving his future wife a ring from his favorite movie. Always wanted to. She doesn't like it. Is her want more important?

These are just things I think about. I'm not I'm this situation thank god.

As bad as it may be, if this is what the chick wants, then.... well, she just has bad taste. But, it's what she wants. Just have a good return/upgrade policy for this travesty.

Just so you don't think I'm slow, I just now saw this... (what I get for not reading in time order!) HA!

Edited for grammar.

 

[msop04]

For all intents and purposes (regarding an ering), I think it's always a better idea to try to accomodate the wishes of the recipient... regardless of your personal tastes.

 

[soxfan]

[ The old saying is "one does not look gift horse in the mouth"

That horse would be going straight to the glue factory.

 

[TC1987]

The scenario I keep coming back to is the dolphin ring.

Imagine your a girl who's dream was always to get the dolphin ring from Independence day. She's Dermot about it for years. But the SO thinks its tremendously tacky, and doesn't want his GF showing everyone a ring that says "oh Jimmy gave this to me

Is her want more important?

Or imagine then other way around. The guy had dreamed forever about giving his future wife a ring from his favorite movie. Always wanted to. She doesn't like it. Is her want more important?

These are just things I think about. I'm not I'm this situation thank god.

Give her a diamond solitaire and then let her commission that dam dolphin setting, LOL. I have a relative who is older than me who wanted a Mickey Mouse face engagement ring over 15 years ago and it's still what she wears. (RB center and two smaller RBs as ears.) Now, I would not want that. When those halo semimounts hit the scene back in 2003-2004, I said "That's for me," and I bought three of them from Shenoa. So whatever. Let all of us women wear what we like and be happy and give people something to talk about besides Miley Cyrus and her relentless nudity.

big laughs for some of those responses ahead of this post , too

 

[AprilBaby]

I buy what I like...she can take it or leave it!

So if you told the wife you wanted a rolex and she bought you a timex you would be thrilled!

 

[msop04]

Does the person dropping 5-10k on the ring get any say? Or because its a gift of love he shouldn't get any?

I tell you what: If I had gotten that aforementioned D SI2 spotted princess with cutesy pink sapphires, my roar of outrage would have been heard 2 counties away! That's the kind of stunt the hick he-men here would pull, and I despise them for it.

Seriously, a man making all the decisions himself or worse yet, soliciting his intended's input and then TOTALLY DISREGARDING it would set off warning bells for me. That, to me, demonstrates that the man thinks the woman is trivial, or a burden, or perhaps not as bright as he, himself. AMEN.

Ideally, I think that a couple needs work together to achieve the mutually satisfying goal of getting a decent ring that is pleasing to both and doesn't break the bank... In the end, it has to fit the man's budget, so yes, he does get the last word on that. And I don't see anything wrong with the man buying the center diamond, and presenting it in a simple solitaire, and then let the woman take her own money and remount that diamond in WHATEVER she chooses. That is unconventional, I know, but it might be the perfect solution to all fights over "I don't want to spend my money on THAT!" Then if she wanted some hideous setting that the guy hates, he can still save face by saying "It was a solitaire, but she had it reset." Or, if the woman had her heart set on fancy-schmancy that the man couldn't afford, it's a way for her to get the total look that she wanted.

THIS!!

TC, I have literally laughed out loud while reading this!!

 

[msop04]

[ The old saying is "one does not look gift horse in the mouth"

That horse would be going straight to the glue factory.

Agreed.

 

[msop04]

I have a relative who is older than me who wanted a Mickey Mouse face engagement ring over 15 years ago and it's still what she wears. (RB center and two smaller RBs as ears.) Now, I would not want that.
big laughs for some of those responses ahead of this post , too

OMG. Is this a true story? Just... OMG.

 

[soxfan]

Mickey mouse face engagement ring! LMFAOO!!!!

 

[ame]

The giving party gets no say, outside of budget, frankly. They're not wearing it.

 

[Christina...]

The giving party has the right not to spend money on something they find hideous but should buy what the recepient likes even if it's not giver's taste exactly. The recepient has the right not to like the gift or ever wear it. I know lots of women who do not wear their ER because it's not their style.

...and whose fault is this?? The fact that you know many women who won't wear their erings because they don't like them is a perfect example of a guy putting his wants and tastes above that of his SO's... and that is a pretty good indication of things to come.

I'd imagine that if their husbands had taken their feelings into consideration, then they'd be able to at least not hate the ring to the point of not wearing it. If a woman doesn't wear her ering because of work or something, that's one thing... but it should not be because they don't like it.

Right, so I generally agree but "people vary." Some men are just not into jewelry. An ER is a ring is a ring is a ring as long as it has a diamond center. The aesthetics of the setting, look & style are just beyond their interest and comprehension. They're not putting wants and tastes above when they don't have a taste.
The other point about not caring about the feedback when ring is not liked is sort of gray area. The old saying is "one does not look gift horse in the mouth"

But I don't think the bolded above is what we are talking about here. We are talking about when a man completely disregards what SHE wants and instead purchases for her what HE wants. In this case it doesn't matter if he knows anything about or even likes jewelry, all the more reason to purchase her what SHE wants, no? And just for the record, I don't believe that an ER is just a ring, and it certainly doesn't have to have a diamond center stone, or anywhere on it for that matter.

I've given this discussion a bit more thought though. The only time (other than budget considerations) I think that it may be appropriate for the man to disregard his fiancés wishes might be when it involves a family heirloom. I could completely understand why it might be as important for the man to present an heirloom to his fiancé as it would be for her to have exactly what she wanted. In which case I think that a beautiful RHR may be in order. Just a thought.

 

[AprilBaby]

I would totally wear the Mickey Mouse engagement ring as long as the center was at least a ct.

 

[msop04]

I buy what I like...she can take it or leave it!

So if you told the wife you wanted a rolex and she bought you a timex you would be thrilled!

Exactly.

...and when he has that mid-life crisis and wants a red BMW convertible, he'll be totally okay with the new Honda Odyssey. I mean, it's red, right?? He has the right to like it or not, no? LOL

 

[soxfan]

it could be worse. You could get this:

BAM!

 

[TC1987]

OMG. Is this a true story? Just... OMG.

Oh, yes. They are very well-cut diamonds and look to be E/F white. Not ugly or cheap, by any means.

 

[heididdl]

I love hearing everyone's opinions.

Just playing devil's advocate, but like others have said, this isn't a sweater, its a sentimental gift for your loved one to represent your relationship (at least many view it that way) Don't you have at least some right to pick something you like too?

sexy underwear is a shared gift )maybe my ring NO

 

[msop04]

it could be worse. You could get this:

BAM!

OMFG. I may be fired soon, because I just busted out laughing at work...

 

[TC1987]

it could be worse. You could get this:

That did it. Time for a little visit to the Pricescope Historical Documents:
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/unique-and-unusual-post-them-here.18524/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/unique-and-unusual-post-them-here.18524/[/URL]

It was originally titled "The good, the bad, the ugly: Post the Ugly here." But moderators changed it.


revisited https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-revisited.80037/

 

[heididdl]

it could be worse. You could get this:

BAM!

The center stone is gorgous but I feel your pain

 

[baby monster]

I have a relative who is older than me who wanted a Mickey Mouse face engagement ring over 15 years ago and it's still what she wears. (RB center and two smaller RBs as ears.) Now, I would not want that.

like this?

 

[soxfan]

it could be worse. You could get this:

BAM!

The center stone is gorgous but I feel your pain

HAHAHAHHA! It's not mine! It was in another thread on here. The person who got it hated it too....HOT MESS.

 

[Laila619]

See if I were the guy, and my girlfriend wanted something tacky (like a Mickey Mouse ring), I would totally try to talk her out of it or steer her to something else. I am all for buying her something she likes, but I'm not spending my hard earned money on some weird, gimmicky Mickey Mouse ring that she'll get sick of in a few years! That's just not a smart purchase.

 

[Niel]

Found a few more. The blue one is similar to what I'd have done I'd my SO wanted a mickey mouse theme. Black diamonds on the side. Maybe a ruby center. That's Micky all over.

 

[msop04]

"...yeah, my girlfriend... she just really loves Hello Kitty."

 

[msop04]

Business from the top, party on the side...

 

[msop04]

Okay, sorry... back to business.

 

[SB621]

Honestly the part that really gets me are the guys (my friends, posters on ps, whoever) that are SO SURE of what their SO wants they pick out everything, so extremely proud of themselves for just KNOWING what she wants, then later on they come back on PS trying to figure out what to do because their GF hates the ring. I swear I should have a permanent red mark on my forehead from all the smacks I have given myself.

One of my best friends from HS just got engaged. Her boyfriend asked my advice on a diamond and I gave him some ideas. She and her BF have been living together about 7 months and while they never went ring shopping together she dropped hints to what she liked and showed him some pictures. She wanted a very classic 1 ct MRB solitaire with tapered cathedral shoulders. Easy right?! Her BF pretty much said thanks for my help but he knew exactly what she would love. She ended up getting a D, SI2 with black carbon spots .75ct princess in a halo with a pink surprise stone!!! She said she cried after he proposed for hours after he left because she just hated it. I know this is an extreme case but it is on my nerves as the last month we have been trying to figure out what to do with this ring that she really hates. While I do like her FI a part of me just wants to say, “this is really not a good sign for starting off a marriage…”


And on that note....vent over!

+1!!!!!!!!!! I feel like you should work with your fiancee on what kind of ring to get. SHE is going to be the one who is wearing it, after all!!!! If you want her to be surprised, have a family member or friend snoop about what she would like. Ugh. I feel SO bad for your friend! I don't even know if I could have feigned happiness during the proposal...

What are you thinking for options for her, SB?

I'm not sure. He got it from a local place in NH. I'm going to fly up next month to do some wedding stuff with her and she wants me to come with her to the jeweler to talk to them. I told her she should call them now and let them know she is unhappy and wants to see what her options are. I guess we will see. I'm trying not to bring it up as I think she is very sensative about it right now. She is so happy to be engaged but at the same time really down about the ring. What a kick in the pants right?!