A sad farewell

[TC1987]

Oh, Ginger, I am so sorry for your loss. He grew up to be a very handsome fellow. I'm sure you made him very happy. I can tell from the adoring looks he's giving you. RIP, Filly.

 

[tyty333]

I'm so sorry JG. Losing a beloved companion is so hard. Sending dust to help heal the heart.

 

[movie zombie]

you are such a good kitty mom.
our way of handling the after the fact is very much alike.
I prep my deceased loved kitty for cremation and comb the surviving cats and add that to the deceased's bundle.
I also cut some of my hair and my husbands to include.
flowers from the garden.......

I have only had one cat be very upset at a passing: when my Rusty passed my Spikey cat got under the bed covering and got under Rusty trying to get him to get up. it was beyond upsetting......

geez, i'm in tears again.

know that I am thinking of you.

 

[minousbijoux]

Thank you everyone for your kind words - I know so many of you know this pain too well.

This morning was the worst. The four litter mates all sleep in one of the spare rooms together, a nightly thing that started when they were at the age that they would run amok and keep us up all night if not confined. Every morning they hear me get up, and assume their positions. Exacta and Quinella, the two whities, race out the door and straight to the food bowl as soon as it's cracked. Derby and Filly wait on a platform, right next to the door at head level for me to give them a pat. Then Derby jumps down to join the others at breakfast. Filly and I always stay where we are for our morning loving, 5 minutes or so for just the two of us.

I put the other three up last night, before the vet arrived. This morning I opened the door and for the first time ever, the whities didn't run to the food dish. Quinella and Derby both systematically walked around the entire house, calling for Filly (even when he had been away at the vets they didn't behave like this). They looked everywhere, even pawing at the closet door until I opened it to show them that it was empty. Exacta always was the most connected to Filly, he knew where to go immediately while the other two were searching. He went straight on my bed, sniffed around until he found the spot where Filly passed, and flopped on his back, rubbing his face and head all over the comforter. I just burst into tears, it was heart-wrenching to watch. The others joined him, and I took them into the spare room to have a sniff of the box he is in prior to being planted under the frang today. In the past I've always shown kitties their departed counterparts and they've seemingly not cared - just sniff and saunter off. I should have known better this time, with litter mates who have been together for 13 months. They needed to know what happened. How they knew he was actually gone, and not just at the vets, I have no idea.

So, I have some very clingy kitties today. That's a good thing, the cuddles are easy and frequent.

Oh, Ginger, I'm so sorry. What makes you so amazing is the deep love and compassion you feel for animals, particularly kitties. But it also means you feel it so deeply when you lose one. It also sounds like you have raised a family that is so close that all his siblings are mourning right along with you. Big hugs to you. You are awesome for being so loving and for taking care of these littlies.

I'm sure Trifecta was right there to greet Filly.

 

[justginger]

Minou: my husband has commented on occasion that he doesn't think he could be me. He said, "You feel things so much more than me; I don't think I could handle those emotions. Life would just overwhelm me." I hadn't thought of it like that before, but sometimes I don't like being me either.

 

[CrazyBirdLady]

Ginger I'm sorry so sorry to hear this terrible news. My eyes are all watery now. Big hugs and I hope your doing ok this morning

 

[iheartscience]

I'm so sorry for your loss, ginger. I also got a feeding tube for my cat Charles before he passed away and it's one of my biggest regrets. But I remind myself that I did it out of love and hope, and I wouldn't have done it if I had known it wouldn't make a difference. Try not to be too hard on yourself. (I know that's easier said than done.) Hugs to you and thank you for doing all that you do for your kitty babies.

 

[SB621]

Oh ginger i'm so sorry for your loss and for that poor kitten. I have no worries but I'm crying for you. That post was so heart felt. I'm so sorry honey- hugs!

 

[Dandi]

Oh ginger, my heart is broken into a million pieces for you, I am so sorry. That pic of you two together brought me to tears, there is such love in that pic. You're a wonderful kitty mummy and Filly is so lucky to have been so adored. Big hugs, thinking of you and sending you all the strength and love in the world at such a sad time, particularly with everything else going on around you at the moment. Huge hugs xxx

 

[Polished]

Given his difficult start in life, in some ways it is a miracle that he survived to enjoy good health and a happy life, even if it was a brief time only. In your sadness I hope you can also say that it was worth it.

 

[TooPatient]

JG, I am so sorry. I remember your kitten rescues very well. He was a very special cat!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Black cats are such a blessing and a wonderful experience, whether they're a part of the family for a short or long time, they provide something special that really hits us close to the heart.

Hugs to you!

Thank you for providing a loving home for the kitties you've welcomed into your home.

 

[yennyfire]

I'm so very sorry JG. You worked so hard to have him and he knew how much you loved him. I'm so sorry that he didn't make it, but I know that you made his time on earth special.

 

[diamondringlover]

I am so sorry for you loss our stray kitty has wormed her way into my heart like a dog could never do, cats are so special, I am so sorry.

 

[junebug17]

I'm so very sorry Ginger, my heart is heavy for you, and am hoping you can find some comfort in that you provided lots of love and happiness to this sweet kitty and gave him a great life - big hugs to you.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I am so sorry. Losing them is never easy. Filly knew he was loved and had the best home he could have had with you.

 

[NOYFB]

This absolutely broke my heart tonight. You are such an amazing kitty-mama and I know you love Filly with all your heart and are devastated. You have my love and thoughts.

 

[WhoaNelly]

I'm so sorry JG. Having foster failed quite a few cats, it's heartbreaking when something like FIP crops up. Filly seems like quite the special cat and from your description and pics, you had a special bond. I cried when I read your first post and then the follow up about Exacta. Here's to your wonderful open and loving heart that keeps sharing your home. Hugs to you and yours.

 

[justginger]

Our house is still full of animals - it seems impossible that I could feel such a big hole from the loss of one. They aren't him though, they are them and he was him and it won't ever be the same again. I suspect that only Exacta understands how I feel.

In the midst of being absolutely miserable, I do feel a faint glimmer of gratitude. Thank you, God or fate or karma, because if this HAD to happen, it was a blessing to happen now. If it had happened 3 weeks later, DH and I would have been overseas. Filly would have been sick and scared (he doesn't like my BIL who housesits), and who knows how things would have progressed. Maybe his illness wouldn't have even been noticed until he just passed away under the bed. I am so thankful that I was here to put an end to his suffering and say goodbye. If this had happened 3 weeks later, my heart would have been in a million pieces instead of just ten thousand.

 

[susimoo]

I am so sorry Ginger. My heart was breaking reading your posts. Please remember you gave him a wonderful life. I know it was not long enough, (is it ever?), but he knew only love. You cannot give anything more than you have.
Hugs to you!

 

[lulu]

Ginger, I'm so sorry for your loss. You gave Filly so much love and I know it's so hard to lose your baby.

 

[chrono]

I am not good with words of consolation but know that I feel your pain and am very saddened by the loss of Filly. I am very sorry, JG.

 

[msop04]

I am a little late to this, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your devastating loss. I read your post and just could not stop crying... just so sad. Filly is lucky to have had a human who cared for him so much. ^..^

 

[yssie]

Oh Ginger, I'm so, so, so sorry.

I read this thread early this morning but I haven't been able to respond without crying until now. I truly believe Exacta knows exactly how you feel... our miracle boy Garett is all-black, too. When he was sick we couldn't pry his sister from his side - everywhere he went, she went, litterbox and all. She nursed him back to health as much as I did, and... God. It isn't fair, is it? I wouldn't wish the pain of losing a loved one on any other creature in the world, two-legged or four

Filly was so lucky Ginger - he got to spend all his life with a wonderful caregiver who loved him with everything she had, and he passed basking in that love - and now I just *know* that he spends his days sharing his memories and stories with Trifecta, and when they're tired they curl up together with the pieces of your heart they took with them.

I wish I had the right things to say. I wish there was something to say that could make it hurt less... but I don't think there is, maybe only lots of ::HUGS:: from your friends who understand this heartache all too well

 

[royalstarrynight]

JG, I am so sorry for your loss. Filly was lucky to have you as his kitty mommy and to know what it is to be truly loved...

 

[woofmama]

JG my thoughts are with you. So sorry for this loss. You were his world in his short time here. Bless you for all of the good you do for the animals.

 

[hlmr]

I am sorry for your loss, justginger. Your story brought tears to my eyes. The love and loss of our fur babies is so poignant and pure.

 

[justginger]

Oh Ginger, I'm so, so, so sorry.

I read this thread early this morning but I haven't been able to respond without crying until now. I truly believe Exacta knows exactly how you feel... our miracle boy Garett is all-black, too. When he was sick we couldn't pry his sister from his side - everywhere he went, she went, litterbox and all. She nursed him back to health as much as I did, and... God. It isn't fair, is it? I wouldn't wish the pain of losing a loved one on any other creature in the world, two-legged or four

Filly was so lucky Ginger - he got to spend all his life with a wonderful caregiver who loved him with everything she had, and he passed basking in that love - and now I just *know* that he spends his days sharing his memories and stories with Trifecta, and when they're tired they curl up together with the pieces of your heart they took with them.

I wish I had the right things to say. I wish there was something to say that could make it hurt less... but I don't think there is, maybe only lots of ::HUGS:: from your friends who understand this heartache all too well

Thank you, Yssie. Your words are beautiful. Just having people to share the sadness with helps. It's still such a shock, a massive loss to try to process in the time frame of a week. Last night Oh came around the corner into my bedroom and I actually thought, "THERE you are, Filly, I've been missing you," before my brain had time to process the situation properly. Boy did that set off the tears again.

 

[minousbijoux]

Minou: my husband has commented on occasion that he doesn't think he could be me. He said, "You feel things so much more than me; I don't think I could handle those emotions. Life would just overwhelm me." I hadn't thought of it like that before, but sometimes I don't like being me either.

Oh honey, I'm just like you. But it hopefully means you feel happiness deeply as well...

 

[Gypsy]

I'm so sorry sweetheart. I know he had a wonderful home with you though, and all the love a kitty could want. Much love and hugs coming your way.