A sad day :(

[Clairitek]

Date: 1/28/2010 11:47:51 AM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Now hold on here.

I''m not stomping my feet and freaking out here, just trying to explain why I posted in the first place and why I felt some people were implying that I shouldn''t be upset (or at least that is the way I took it).

If you really feel I complain too much I''ll stop. But personally I believe I post just as many positive posts if not more than negative posts. I''ll try to watch myself from now on.

Its not a negative post or positive post thing, Smurfy. Its the fact that many times a week you are starting threads asking for support/sympathy/dust whatever. I understand that you have a lot going on in your life right now but my own personal willingness to give you support/sympathy/dust wanes with each thread started. I know there aren''t any "rules" about asking for such things out of your fellow PS community members, but the constant requests do start to take the shine off of the whole "asking for dust" thing in general.

If what happened to you had happened to me I would be upset too! But maybe the difference is that I would go post about it here in the "Just wanna say... random comments thread" than in a whole new thread. I love that thread for reading the random thoughts going on around PS.

I''m sorry your cats ruined a keepsake for you. I am hugely sentimental and if I had gone to the trouble of saving my wedding bouquet I would be upset for them to be destroyed. At least you have other keepsakes from the wedding and lots of pictures of your treasured bouquet. No to mention, you have the biggest keepsake of all, your husband.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/28/2010 1:52:58 PM
Author: Clairitek

Date: 1/28/2010 11:47:51 AM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Now hold on here.


I''m not stomping my feet and freaking out here, just trying to explain why I posted in the first place and why I felt some people were implying that I shouldn''t be upset (or at least that is the way I took it).


If you really feel I complain too much I''ll stop. But personally I believe I post just as many positive posts if not more than negative posts. I''ll try to watch myself from now on.

Its not a negative post or positive post thing, Smurfy. Its the fact that many times a week you are starting threads asking for support/sympathy/dust whatever. I understand that you have a lot going on in your life right now but my own personal willingness to give you support/sympathy/dust wanes with each thread started. I know there aren''t any ''rules'' about asking for such things out of your fellow PS community members, but the constant requests do start to take the shine off of the whole ''asking for dust'' thing in general.


If what happened to you had happened to me I would be upset too! But maybe the difference is that I would go post about it here in the ''Just wanna say... random comments thread'' than in a whole new thread. I love that thread for reading the random thoughts going on around PS.


I''m sorry your cats ruined a keepsake for you. I am hugely sentimental and if I had gone to the trouble of saving my wedding bouquet I would be upset for them to be destroyed. At least you have other keepsakes from the wedding and lots of pictures of your treasured bouquet. No to mention, you have the biggest keepsake of all, your husband.

Touche, I actually didn''t understand the whole random comments thread until I checked it out today. Many of you would not be surprised to learn that I am also a crazy twitter updater. I just have so much free time at work that I can go a little nutso sometimes...although this thread was posted from home when it happened.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 1/28/2010 2:02:53 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved

Date: 1/28/2010 1:52:58 PM
Author: Clairitek

Date: 1/28/2010 11:47:51 AM

Author: Smurfyimproved

Now hold on here.


I''m not stomping my feet and freaking out here, just trying to explain why I posted in the first place and why I felt some people were implying that I shouldn''t be upset (or at least that is the way I took it).


If you really feel I complain too much I''ll stop. But personally I believe I post just as many positive posts if not more than negative posts. I''ll try to watch myself from now on.

Its not a negative post or positive post thing, Smurfy. Its the fact that many times a week you are starting threads asking for support/sympathy/dust whatever. I understand that you have a lot going on in your life right now but my own personal willingness to give you support/sympathy/dust wanes with each thread started. I know there aren''t any ''rules'' about asking for such things out of your fellow PS community members, but the constant requests do start to take the shine off of the whole ''asking for dust'' thing in general.


If what happened to you had happened to me I would be upset too! But maybe the difference is that I would go post about it here in the ''Just wanna say... random comments thread'' than in a whole new thread. I love that thread for reading the random thoughts going on around PS.


I''m sorry your cats ruined a keepsake for you. I am hugely sentimental and if I had gone to the trouble of saving my wedding bouquet I would be upset for them to be destroyed. At least you have other keepsakes from the wedding and lots of pictures of your treasured bouquet. No to mention, you have the biggest keepsake of all, your husband.

Touche, I actually didn''t understand the whole random comments thread until I checked it out today. Many of you would not be surprised to learn that I am also a crazy twitter updater. I just have so much free time at work that I can go a little nutso sometimes...although this thread was posted from home when it happened.

Heehee doesn''t surprise me in the least! I am fairly active on FB too with my random thoughts and I *do* enjoy hearing whats going on in my friends'' minds. I guess some of us here on PS enjoy a more streamlined forum with less threads and some like it to be less formal with threads like this one.

 

[fieryred33143]

I think it''s just the nature of PS. I''ve posted about this before. There are some forums that are very "chat" based. A random thought pops into your head, you post about it, and 5 minutes later you post another random thought. It isn''t weird because everyone else is posting their random thoughts as well. Similar to a chat room but the look of it is like PS.

PS is more topic driven.

I can understand posting it here because there are newlyweds here who "get it" (I''ll admit I don''t get the big deal because I''ve never had a wedding, the first thought that popped in my mind was order the same flowers and do it again). But the ladies here understand I suppose.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 1/28/2010 2:30:09 PM
Author: fiery
I can understand posting it here because there are newlyweds here who 'get it' (I'll admit I don't get the big deal because I've never had a wedding, the first thought that popped in my mind was order the same flowers and do it again). But the ladies here understand I suppose.

This one doesn't. I got a bouquet. I carried a bouquet. I put the bouquet in an ice bucket in my hotel room. I left the bouquet in said ice bucket in said hotel room.

Flowers were the least important thing to me. I didn't give a ____ about them. I didn't want them to begin with.

Having said that I have pressed flowers...from the first and only flowers my husband has ever bought for me.


As for the other topic...Smurfy gets defensive. Anyone who has been around since Smurfysmiles was around should know this. I believe I said in one of Smurfysmiles' threads that I wouldn't bother trying to help anymore. And I haven't. I typically avoid your threads like the plague Smurfy. And there are A LOT OF THEM, so it takes some effort. And that's not to say that I don't care, if I didn't care, I wouldn't have opened this thread. It's just TIRING to see, what? Four threads in a series of 3 days asking for dust, prayers, sympathy (is that what you wanted out of this thread?) etc? You have to admit that's a lot.

I have to agree with Elle. I don't remember the title of the thread I posted when my mom died (nor do I care to go and look for it), but I'm sure it wasn't as dramatic and attention grabbing as "A sad day

". What did I expect when I opened this thread? Death of a pet, a serious illness, a traumatic accident, a series of really significant and upsetting events, etc. Something of significance. In the grand scheme of things, flowers just aren't that significant. Honestly I see it as a good reason for your husband to buy you a bouquet of the same flowers for a special occasion or just because.

You're allowed to be sad about losing such a keepsake, I am NOT saying that you're not, but it's about perspective. PS isn't your personal blog, which IMHO, would be the perfect place for the original post. There are people who are spending time opening your thread, anticipating something far worse than shredded flowers (however sentimental they may be) and leaving without saying anything. And I have to wonder if you're actually surprised about that.

When I post a thread to PS I first think about how people will respond to it, and what I want out of the thread. After my mom passed away, that put everything in perspective. Suddenly my friend's trials and tribulations that I would have been upset and commiserated with them over were suddenly as significant as...getting a burnt french fry in a Biggie sized fry from Wendy's. Things that I would have cried over before she passed, were trivial and unimportant (not that I would have cried over fries from Wendy's-I don't remember the last time I had any!).

So. Perspective is a wonderful thing to gain. Something to consider. And I agree with fiery, PS is extremely topic driven.

BTW, this post was intended to be helpful.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/28/2010 8:22:53 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 1/28/2010 2:30:09 PM

Author: fiery

I can understand posting it here because there are newlyweds here who ''get it'' (I''ll admit I don''t get the big deal because I''ve never had a wedding, the first thought that popped in my mind was order the same flowers and do it again). But the ladies here understand I suppose.

BTW, this post was intended to be helpful.

And it was, thank you for another point of view freke. It is much appreciated.

 

[Porridge]

Smurfy, it sounds to me like you''re handling these constructive criticisms very well. I don''t see any foot stomping

It seems like you get the point. Well done for being mature and not letting this turn into a big dramatic thread. (I hope that doesn''t sound condescending...just sending out kudos!)

I am sorry about your flowers! I''m not all that sentimental, but if I had gone to look for something that meant a lot to me and found it destroyed I would have had a few moment of being bummed out too. I like Freke''s suggestion of it being a good flower-giving opportunity for your husband some day!

 

[princessplease]

Smurfy, I have to agree with the majority here. I saw the post title and seriously expected a tragic and devastatng event to have happened in your life, and all I got was destroyed flowers. I was so shocked that such a small (albeit upsetting to you) incident warranted such a title, and I immediately clicked out of the thread because I felt, I guess in a way, deceived by the title of the post. The women on here are filled with an incredible amount of knowledge and advice, and they (myself included) truly want to help fellow posters; however, in your situation(s), it's hard to find anything to say because your posts tend to be less geared towards advice seeking and more geared towards venting your frustruations (which is fine, but as C-tek advised, there's the random thoughts thread). As silly as this sounds, we're taking time out of our real lives, away from our jobs, families and daily activities to visit PS, read posts and offer advice on situations, and I feel duped when I spend time reading posts by a troll or in some situations, posts like this that are blown out of proportion by the OP. Even though it's the internet, there is a sense of camaraderie on PS, especially for those of us who frequent certain forums, which makes it easier to understand why many replies are similar in nature.

It's completely understandable to be upset (I would be too, as I am very sentimental and like keeping momentos like that), but in the grand scheme of life, there are much more sad things. Relish in the memory of your bouquet in pictures. If it's that big of a deal to you, then suggest to DH that he has your bouquet remade (Great idea, freke!) for your first anniversary, have those pressed, and store them in a safe place where your cats can't eat them.

That is all....

 

[monarch64]

I don''t know, Smurf...I think I''ve come to the conclusion that you just like to share random things and you need a lot of support and encouragement. I can''t say I''m offended by the fact that you post things that aren''t super serious a lot, that is apparently just your personality and at least you''re entertaining. I did look at your thread title and think "omg, who died?", but upon further reading discovered it was your flowers, which fortunately were already dead. So I must say I breathed a sigh of relief for you even though you are upset over them. And you know, better that your cats got them instead of your future children. It is easier to be angry with cats and get over it then it is to harbor resentment against your kids for years and years. I know this because when I was 4 I threw my teddy bear at my brother, missed him, and knocked out a Lladro of my mother''s instead. 28 years later she still brings it up (like last night, actually.)

Crazy Twitter updater? Hmm-mm, nope, never woulda guessed.

 

[charbie]

i usually just go ahead and hover my mouse over the subject line. that gives me the first few lines of the post. if its something i want to read/respond to, i open it up. if not, i move on. before even opening the post, i knew it was about smurphy''s flowers.

i understand your frustration here, smurphy. when my dog ate my wedding shoes a few days before the wedding, the first place i went to either commiserate or get help finding some new orange shoes was PS. it was pretty dramatic (i posted "graphic content") in the subject line.

no one wants to feel self-conscious in an annonymous public forum.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Thank you for all the comments ladies. I know some of you don''t like me which is fine but I am trying to change certain things about my behavior that aren''t positive. This can in turn only benefit me IRL as well.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/29/2010 2:19:43 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Thank you for all the comments ladies. I know some of you don''t like me which is fine but I am trying to change certain things about my behavior that aren''t positive. This can in turn only benefit me IRL as well.

Smurfy, this concerns me, because we all consider each other friends here. Some people we may have a closer bond with because we have things in common or we went through similar experiences with each other, but I don''t think anyone dislikes anyone else. Just like IRL we have some friends who we could live with 24/7 because we get along so well and others who we consider dear friends but we only want to see once a month. But don''t forget, PS is an internet forum after all and not real life. What people say to you here should go in one ear and out the other. Getting upset about it is waste of time because their opinion is really only going to affect your day-to-day life if you let it. Because of this I keep my feelings IRL and online very separate. And while I understand that you sometimes feel picked on, understand that we''ve ALL been picked on here one time or another. We''ve all been called out on things we''ve said or contradictions we''ve made. It''s the nature of an anonymous beast. Believe me, if I posted three drama-filled threads within a week of each other I''m have people calling me on it too.

 

[Porridge]

Date: 1/29/2010 2:19:43 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
I know some of you don''t like me

Aw that''s not a nice thing to think. It''s not you Smurfy! We don''t know you! How someone comes across online is a weird thing. It''s the posting of many similar themed threads, that is all.

In all your postings I''ve never seen you come across as mean, catty, selfish etc...you''re always kind, supportive, helpful and generous with the compliments, and have a lot of interesting things to contribute. I can''t imagine anyone not liking you. As HH said, we all get a smackdown for something at some point or other. This is your thing and it''s only a wee little thing

Besides, the point has been made and you''ve taken it very well.

So...time for pie???

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 1/29/2010 6:56:26 PM
Author: Porridge

Date: 1/29/2010 2:19:43 PM

Author: Smurfyimproved

I know some of you don''t like me

So...time for pie???

Yes mam! Only if you insist lol

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Smurfy I''m just like to point out that I just had my a$$ handed to me in the laptop use thread. You''re not alone. For every ps person you think dislikes you, 2 more like you.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 1/30/2010 7:55:36 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Smurfy I''m just like to point out that I just had my a$$ handed to me in the laptop use thread. You''re not alone. For every ps person you think dislikes you, 2 more like you.

Youch!! Just looked at that..and you did!

Sorry to see that..

. As for Smurfy..I understand why you''re upset, but I also think the other posters have a good point. Sorry to hear about your flowers! But no worries, even though you can''t replace the flowers there will be many other memories and sentimental things to share with your kids one day.

 

[swimmer]

Sorry about your flowers.

My rule of thumb is that if there are lots of views but few comments, it means that folks are probably following the "if you can''t say anything nice" rule. Personally, I try not to start a post that would garner few comments as talking to myself is much easier than typing.

 

[rhbgirl24]

Date: 1/28/2010 11:47:51 AM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Now hold on here.


I'm not stomping my feet and freaking out here, just trying to explain why I posted in the first place and why I felt some people were implying that I shouldn't be upset (or at least that is the way I took it).


If you really feel I complain too much I'll stop. But personally I believe I post just as many positive posts if not more than negative posts. I'll try to watch myself from now on.

I had to speak up here too, I don't post all too often, and normally its just to say congrats to someone else, or share what is going on - big - in my life, IF its relevant. I do have to say though, that now when I see one of your posts I just

. Its just too much. You say something, that may be meaningful to you, but in forum eyes may not have any relevance, and then you get upset when people point this out. Just stop with those posts then..... urg.

I dont think its about people not liking you, I think we just end up with Smurfy post overload sometimes....

On another note, I'm sorry about your flowers, I understand. My sister tried to dry them and the result wasn't too good! But instead of being upset about it, wasn't her fault, I put a pro 8x10 up on the wall - however I didn't post about it here either.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

noted

 

[ProseCuter]

This isn''t really directed to any particular poster. Just wanted to comment. I have never seen the point in saving dry flowers. They will never look as good, and you have photos!

I brought my red rose bouquet with us on our honeymoon, and put it in a vase on a nightstand. I saw it every day, and enjoyed it immensely for the entire week. On the last night of our honeymoon, I took all the roses apart, covering the bed with the petals. When hubby got out of the shower, we had a very sexy and memorable evening. Much better than a clump of dry flowers sitting in the closet, ANY DAY!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

That''s a really great idea!

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 1/30/2010 7:55:36 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Smurfy I'm just like to point out that I just had my a$$ handed to me in the laptop use thread. You're not alone. For every ps person you think dislikes you, 2 more like you.

well at least you know where it *is* if you need it in a hurry.

i'm almost 50, and i swear mine has disappeared somewhere down the back of my thighs and is indistinguishable as an independent body part.

just sayin'....

we will now return to out regular programming...

 

[noelwr]

Date: 2/2/2010 9:21:03 AM
Author: whitby_2773

i''m almost 50, and i swear mine has disappeared somewhere down the back of my thighs and is indistinguishable as an independent body part.

whitby - I don''t believe it. is that you in your avatar? on the Hangout thread when you said your husband of 25 years I first thought you meant your husband is 25 yrs old because you don''t look old enough to be married 25 years!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 2/2/2010 9:21:03 AM
Author: whitby_2773

Date: 1/30/2010 7:55:36 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Smurfy I''m just like to point out that I just had my a$$ handed to me in the laptop use thread. You''re not alone. For every ps person you think dislikes you, 2 more like you.

well at least you know where it *is* if you need it in a hurry.


i''m almost 50, and i swear mine has disappeared somewhere down the back of my thighs and is indistinguishable as an independent body part.


just sayin''....


we will now return to out regular programming...

I''m part of "Team Assless." As in I have no butt! At least with no butt I don''t have to worry about sag though

Whitby you''re still a hot piece!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/2/2010 9:32:32 AM
Author: noelwr

Date: 2/2/2010 9:21:03 AM

Author: whitby_2773


i''m almost 50, and i swear mine has disappeared somewhere down the back of my thighs and is indistinguishable as an independent body part.

whitby - I don''t believe it. is that you in your avatar? on the Hangout thread when you said your husband of 25 years I first thought you meant your husband is 25 yrs old because you don''t look old enough to be married 25 years!

I was wondering the same thing!!

 

[dragonfly411]

smurfy - I just wanted to say, don''t think people dislike you because most like you a lot

cheer up buttercup

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 2/2/2010 9:32:51 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 2/2/2010 9:21:03 AM

Author: whitby_2773

Date: 1/30/2010 7:55:36 AM


Author: Hudson_Hawk


Smurfy I'm just like to point out that I just had my a$$ handed to me in the laptop use thread. You're not alone. For every ps person you think dislikes you, 2 more like you.

well at least you know where it *is* if you need it in a hurry.



i'm almost 50, and i swear mine has disappeared somewhere down the back of my thighs and is indistinguishable as an independent body part.



just sayin'....



we will now return to out regular programming...

I'm part of 'Team Assless.' As in I have no butt! At least with no butt I don't have to worry about sag though

Whitby you're still a hot piece!

too funny, HH! at least 'no butt' has translated for me into 'no saddlebag thighs either', so it's a fair trade.

and thank you for the compliment.

and to anyone else who asked - yes - fifty in june! FIFTY!

there. i said it.

now i just have to own it. (..or does *it* own *me*??)

and yes - the avatar photo was taken last year in my office with one of my dogs. (big flirt!) it's a very flattering photo and i'd post another more accurate one if this wasn't somebody else's thread. (kinda let off the hook there...)

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/2/2010 6:00:22 PM
Author: whitby_2773

Date: 2/2/2010 9:32:51 AM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 2/2/2010 9:21:03 AM


Author: whitby_2773

Date: 1/30/2010 7:55:36 AM



Author: Hudson_Hawk



Smurfy I''m just like to point out that I just had my a$$ handed to me in the laptop use thread. You''re not alone. For every ps person you think dislikes you, 2 more like you.

well at least you know where it *is* if you need it in a hurry.




i''m almost 50, and i swear mine has disappeared somewhere down the back of my thighs and is indistinguishable as an independent body part.




just sayin''....




we will now return to out regular programming...

I''m part of ''Team Assless.'' As in I have no butt! At least with no butt I don''t have to worry about sag though

Whitby you''re still a hot piece!

too funny, HH! at least ''no butt'' has translated for me into ''no saddlebag thighs either'', so it''s a fair trade.


and thank you for the compliment.


and to anyone else who asked - yes - fifty in june! FIFTY!


there. i said it.


now i just have to own it. (..or does *it* own *me*??)


and yes - the avatar photo was taken last year in my office with one of my dogs. (big flirt!) it''s a very flattering photo and i''d post another more accurate one if this wasn''t somebody else''s thread. (kinda let off the hook there...)

HAH! I don''t THINK so!!!! Let''s see it!

 

[whitby_2773]

Date: 2/2/2010 6:05:13 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved


HAH! I don't THINK so!!!! Let's see it!

gees - for a little thing, you sure can be demanding...

ok - this is me, zero makeup, real close - i'd just walked in from the cold...

 

[whitby_2773]

and one with more perspective with my best friend of 34 years, her new fiance, and his brother.

i'm the one in the purple top. again - no make up (i almost never wear makeup)

this one was taken 2 weeks ago...

see smurf? i look just like everybody's mom!