A hard decision

[dragonfly411]

I''ll join the over team.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Just for the record, we''re all going to h*e*l*l

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:11:16 PM
Author: Loves Vintage
Thread has gotten a bit mean-spirited, no?

I agree ... but when you storm out of a room slamming doors & cursing -- would you really expect the folks left behind to ignore the "big scene"/elephant in the room?

 

[meresal]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:11:16 PM
Author: Loves Vintage
Thread has gotten a bit mean-spirited, no?

Sorry Loves. It''s just that this is the 4th time she has "threatened" to leave/take a break, and it is ALWAYS when she asks for advice and then doesn''t want to hear it.

She started a thread not 3 weeks ago about being low on cash and many of these same things were said about saving money instead of worrying about where to spend it. Would you expect to hear something different?

 

[princesss]

Well, this thread was good for something. Lucyandroger, I''m totally stealing your idea for our anniversary. I''ve got the day off and we''ll do a staycation!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:15:09 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 1/8/2010 5:11:16 PM
Author: Loves Vintage
Thread has gotten a bit mean-spirited, no?

Sorry Loves. It''s just that this is the 4th time she has ''threatened'' to leave/take a break, and it is ALWAYS when she asks for advice and then doesn''t want to hear it.

She started a thread not 3 weeks ago about being low on cash and many of these same things were said about saving money instead of worrying about where to spend it. Would you expect to hear something different?

Perhaps her dad will come through with a honeymoon trip as well?

::crossesfingers::

 

[elrohwen]

Fiery, every time you post you have a different avatar and each is cuter than the last!!

 

[dragonfly411]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:13:16 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Just for the record, we''re all going to h*e*l*l

this made me LOL

 

[packrat]

I don''t know that even w/the explanation I get the whole over/under thing. Can I buy a vowel? Or get a scratch ticket?

Smurfy, I get that you want to enjoy life while you can, and nobody knows what''s going to happen tomorrow..but one thing you know that''s coming is job loss. Not too many people have so much advance notice, so I think it would be wiser to just save the money. Maybe that extra 1k will not be needed during the crunch time after your job is gone, and in that case, it will still be there later on. If you use it now and need it later, there''s no way to take it back. Better to have it and not need it, I think. And, say you don''t go anywhere and save it, and after the job loss in a few months you turn around and find a kick ass paying job-then you''ll be able to add to the $1000 and take a BETTER honeymoon. It sucks, but sometimes you have to take one for the team and just ride it out. I''ve not been on a vacation since February 2003, so I know what it feels like to want to GO somewhere and DO something-but that''s just not always possible.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:20:21 PM
Author: elrohwen
Fiery, everytime you post you have a different avatar and each is cuter than the last!!

LOL Thanks! I couldn''t figure out how to get it to 96 x 96.

 

[packrat]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:20:21 PM
Author: elrohwen
Fiery, everytime you post you have a different avatar and each is cuter than the last!!

Oh hey! I just noticed that! Keep this one w/the pink hat tho-she''s so smoochable!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:20:59 PM
Author: packrat
I don''t know that even w/the explanation I get the whole over/under thing. Can I buy a vowel? Or get a scratch ticket?

Smurfy, I get that you want to enjoy life while you can, and nobody knows what''s going to happen tomorrow..but one thing you know that''s coming is job loss. Not too many people have so much advance notice, so I think it would be wiser to just save the money. Maybe that extra 1k will not be needed during the crunch time after your job is gone, and in that case, it will still be there later on. If you use it now and need it later, there''s no way to take it back. Better to have it and not need it, I think. And, say you don''t go anywhere and save it, and after the job loss in a few months you turn around and find a kick ass paying job-then you''ll be able to add to the $1000 and take a BETTER honeymoon. It sucks, but sometimes you have to take one for the team and just ride it out. I''ve not been on a vacation since February 2003, so I know what it feels like to want to GO somewhere and DO something-but that''s just not always possible.

Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what''s to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn''t the smartest decision. I think it''s to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:23:10 PM
Author: packrat

Date: 1/8/2010 5:20:21 PM
Author: elrohwen
Fiery, everytime you post you have a different avatar and each is cuter than the last!!

Oh hey! I just noticed that! Keep this one w/the pink hat tho-she''s so smoochable!

Agreed! Love the one with the pink pom-pom hat. She''s such a cutie.

 

[vc10um]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:20:21 PM
Author: elrohwen
Fiery, every time you post you have a different avatar and each is cuter than the last!!

DITTO.

Over.

**Scuttles back over to LIW where she belongs...**

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:17:28 PM
Author: princesss
Well, this thread was good for something. Lucyandroger, I''m totally stealing your idea for our anniversary. I''ve got the day off and we''ll do a staycation!

Woo hoo!!! That''s awesome! Happy Anniversary

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:30 PM
Author: fiery

Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what''s to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn''t the smartest decision. I think it''s to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

I do think you''re completely right. However, I''d still try to talk a friend out of doing it, even if it is understandable.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:34 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 1/8/2010 5:23:10 PM
Author: packrat

Date: 1/8/2010 5:20:21 PM
Author: elrohwen
Fiery, everytime you post you have a different avatar and each is cuter than the last!!

Oh hey! I just noticed that! Keep this one w/the pink hat tho-she''s so smoochable!

Agreed! Love the one with the pink pom-pom hat. She''s such a cutie.

Thanks

 

[Prana]

Yikes! This thread took a lovely turn. I''d be willing to bet she does not come back after this......

 

[swimmer]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:18:26 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 1/8/2010 5:15:09 PM

Author: meresal

Date: 1/8/2010 5:11:16 PM

Author: Loves Vintage

Thread has gotten a bit mean-spirited, no?

Sorry Loves. It''s just that this is the 4th time she has ''threatened'' to leave/take a break, and it is ALWAYS when she asks for advice and then doesn''t want to hear it.


She started a thread not 3 weeks ago about being low on cash and many of these same things were said about saving money instead of worrying about where to spend it. Would you expect to hear something different?

Perhaps her dad will come through with a honeymoon trip as well?


::crossesfingers::

And don''t forget the pregnancy scare... That $1000 "emergency fund" is exactly one prenatal visit with ultrasound. The avg cost of a birth in the US without health insurance is over 30k, so perhaps a good emergency fund amount would be 30xs larger than what is currently saved.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 1/8/2010 2:27:46 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
Hudson, we have 2 savings accounts set up, one for our honeymoon and one for emergencies. We put equal money into both each month. However, thank you for the off topic input.

I somehow missed this part. So the amount in your "emergency fund" would be around 1K? I really don't know how to say this any nicer, but even my high school going brother has an emergency fund bigger than yours and he has barely any expenses/responsibilities. You've got to be kidding.

Didn't you almost not buy 30$ shoes for your wedding because you couldn't afford it? Your parents ended up buying it for you. My good lord. My 12 year old cousin has a better sense of his finances.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:31:56 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:30 PM
Author: fiery
Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what''s to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn''t the smartest decision. I think it''s to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

I do think you''re completely right. However, I''d still try to talk a friend out of doing it, even if it is understandable.

Agree also ... but most folks do their naughty, self-destructive behavior alone in the dark, with the blinds closed and hope people don''t find out because of the SHAME! (Perhaps I''m giving too much away here

)

Building a float & parading your nekkid dysfunctional self down cyber Main Street and expecting folks to throw confetti? Ur doin it rong.

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 1/8/2010 4:42:26 PM
Author: girlface
lucyandroger: What a great idea! And even better, you get to really know and explore your hometown, which I find, not many people actually do!

And Meresal: My family would also be slapping me around right now, if this was my dillemma.

So true! It''s amazing what you discover when you slow down, stop being stressed for a moment, and look around.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:37:54 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/8/2010 5:31:56 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:30 PM
Author: fiery
Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what''s to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn''t the smartest decision. I think it''s to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

I do think you''re completely right. However, I''d still try to talk a friend out of doing it, even if it is understandable.

Agree also ... but most folks do their naughty, self-destructive behavior alone in the dark, with the blinds closed and hope people don''t find out because of the SHAME! (Perhaps I''m giving too much away here

)

Building a float & parading your nekkid dysfunctional self down cyber Main Street and expecting folks to throw confetti? Ur doin it rong.

You OBVIOUSLY haven''t been by my neck of the woods. I have a 3pm showing of my cooking eating habits on the beach with a special showing at 8pm on Saturdays.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:37:54 PM
Author: decodelighted

Agree also ... but most folks do their naughty, self-destructive behavior alone in the dark, with the blinds closed and hope people don't find out because of the SHAME! (Perhaps I'm giving too much away here

)

Building a float & parading your nekkid dysfunctional self down cyber Main Street and expecting folks to throw confetti? Ur doin it rong.

Deco, I just cracked up at "ur doin it rong" LOL

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:15:09 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 1/8/2010 5:11:16 PM
Author: Loves Vintage
Thread has gotten a bit mean-spirited, no?

Sorry Loves. It''s just that this is the 4th time she has ''threatened'' to leave/take a break, and it is ALWAYS when she asks for advice and then doesn''t want to hear it.

She started a thread not 3 weeks ago about being low on cash and many of these same things were said about saving money instead of worrying about where to spend it. Would you expect to hear something different?

Oh, I get it. It is frustrating, and that''s why I thought the best advice to Smurfy was just to not post about this sort of thing.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:31:56 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:30 PM
Author: fiery

Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what''s to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn''t the smartest decision. I think it''s to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

I do think you''re completely right. However, I''d still try to talk a friend out of doing it, even if it is understandable.

Ditto El. Fiery, if you''re eating cookies and you really shouldn''t be because it''s affecting your health or whatever, as your friend I will snatch those cookies away from you. Or at least verbally berate you until you stop eating them. And I would expect you to tell me when I''m doing something that is detrimental to my long-term goals as well, no matter how much I want to punch you in the face because what you''re telling me means I can''t do what I want.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 1/8/2010 5:03:03 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 1/8/2010 4:57:05 PM
Author: sunnyd

100% agree. Smurfy, you need to get real. Seriously. Having $1000 in savings does not qualify as adequate emergency funds, ESPECIALLY when you both have unreliable jobs (which you are losing!!) and an unreliable car.

Maybe instead of asking questions like these over and over and getting PO''d and leaving when you keep getting the same good advice over and over, take it to heart for once! You''ve around the block here, you know that people don''t tell you what you want to hear.

Her arguement is that she has seen too many young people die, and she wants to live life to the fullest.

I would LOVE to introduce her to my brother, who is the exact same way, and thinks that you should only have jobs that you enjoy. He is an increible person, but he has now been laid off 4 separate times, and is currently in his 5th sales job. Finally a good one with an up and coming company.
He is 37 and lives life to have fun. Which means never being able to visit for holiday''s, hasn''t been able to afford a new car EVER, and I just found out that he still gets help from my parents about once or twice a year... usually car related.

At some point you have to stop spending and save a significant amount of money, especially if you want to talk kids and a house.

ETA: I''m kind of surprised with all of the Unders. With the next few days being a weekend, I was worried that the line was too early Monday morning.

Monarch- The ''line'' is Monday at 8 am. If you think she will post before, then you bet ''under''... if you think it won''t be until after, then you bet ''Over''.

So. If the argument is dying young...I have a question. And it''s seriously off topic. Smurfy, do you and your DH have life insurance policies? In the event that one of you dies, since you have what you have described as your "large debt" have you thought about what will happen? Either of you could be not only left without your spouse, but left without that person''s income plus saddled with all of that debt, funeral costs, etc. If I were you, I''d be thinking about using some of your savings money to pay insurance premiums. Did your financial counselor bring up planning for the future at all? Or just come up with a strategy for right now? Either way, it is a conversation you might consider having sometime soon.

Meresal, my ex-husband had similar spending habits to your brother. It was awful. And you know what? He has lost the house we lived in, and is filing for bankruptcy now. Because he pi**ed away every single cent he ever earned. He out-earned me times 4 and still "borrowed" money from me constantly. But you know what else? WE TOOK REALLY AWESOME VACATIONS. Totally worth it.

 

[dragonfly411]

I will even be an awesome enough friend to dispose of the cookies for you

so you are no longer tempted!


Smurfy - a rule I hear over and over about building a safe savings is to save enough to have a cushion of 6 months worth of living expenses.

I must admit, right now I am not a rich human being. I''m floating up the poor college student creek, very close to where you are, though not quite there. Mine is mainly due to Christmas depleting my funds, combined with several driving trips across our state, But I''ve installed a plan to build up our finances, and our savings.

one of the best things I''ve heard is to put away 10% of your paycheck every week. I plan on doing this and some hopefully. I do hope you come back, and I do hope that you take the advice to heart, instead of getting mad that others didn''t tell you what you wanted to hear. It''s a tough reality we face in this world. I don''t know WHEN SO and I will get to take a vaca , but I do know that we are going to make sure we have the finances before hand. I wish you the best... and I hope you wake up to what reality is like with finances.

 

[meresal]

Date: 1/8/2010 6:17:03 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 1/8/2010 5:31:56 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:30 PM
Author: fiery

Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what's to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn't the smartest decision. I think it's to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

I do think you're completely right. However, I'd still try to talk a friend out of doing it, even if it is understandable.

Ditto El. Fiery, if you're eating cookies and you really shouldn't be because it's affecting your health or whatever, as your friend I will snatch those cookies away from you. Or at least verbally berate you until you stop eating them. And I would expect you to tell me when I'm doing something that is detrimental to my long-term goals as well, no matter how much I want to punch you in the face because what you're telling me means I can't do what I want.

LOL! Uncontrollable crying always makes it harder for me to swallow.

Fiery- Definitely keep the poms! She is so stinkin' cute! I'm sure she'd LOVE a lil sibling, and think of the cute family portraits!

(I'm trying...)

Girlface- She will definitely be back. No doubt.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 1/8/2010 6:17:03 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 1/8/2010 5:31:56 PM

Author: elrohwen

Date: 1/8/2010 5:28:30 PM

Author: fiery


Honestly, I think some people just get so stressed out with what''s to come that they react in ways that perhaps isn''t the smartest decision. I think it''s to make yourself feel that despite the changes approaching, everything will be ok. I eat cookies. Smurfy takes vacations.

I do think you''re completely right. However, I''d still try to talk a friend out of doing it, even if it is understandable.

Ditto El. Fiery, if you''re eating cookies and you really shouldn''t be because it''s affecting your health or whatever, as your friend I will snatch those cookies away from you. Or at least verbally berate you until you stop eating them. And I would expect you to tell me when I''m doing something that is detrimental to my long-term goals as well, no matter how much I want to punch you in the face because what you''re telling me means I can''t do what I want.

Even if deep deep down inside your heart and soul you know what you''re doing isn''t wise...