Your FOREVER bling pieces - how do you do it?

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="Phoenix|1358606162|

I know BGD doesn't guarantee it but I have seen 3 (I think) "blues" now and they're all super super sparkly. In fact, I'd say the 2.374ct "blue" is prob the best cut of all the diamonds i've ever had (but don't tell Holly, ok? ).

[/quote]


Phoenix...don't you also own a H SI1 2.67ct blue?? i really love that stone b/c it had a small table with a high crown... all your diamonds are beautiful ... but that 2.67ct.. stone is stuck in my mind.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

It seems to me that you think you ought to be clairvoyient about your future desires. I'm sure you never thought you would be in the position to get a 5 ct or a 7 ct diamond. We live our lives in our present, whatever that is, and can't see the future fully. You may be a practical and even quite responasible person, but who can predict the future. You bought what you did with the knowledge you had at the time. I wouldn't look at these purchases as mistakes. You buy a dress you love for two yrs and the third yr its not so appealing.


Of course diamonds are very expensive, and some colored stones as well, but I understand with your own personal financial success, or husbands, you can upgrade without challanging your financial condition. This also promotes wanting more and better.


Make a list of present desires, not long ,maybe a 6 pieces of beautiful things, and tell yourself how lucky you will be to have that as your collection. Enough is enough, and you should turn your attention to something other than diamonds and jewelry. Find another wonderful obsession--something you can be proud of. Kenny is right. If you want to change it, you can.

It is not just something that is superficial, it becomes like an addiction. <Many on here seem to suffer from it. Your post is enlightening. It shows you are thinking about it. Have a beautiful collection. Then STOP

 

[distracts]

I don't believe in forever pieces. We change all the time. To put that kind of expectation on something like jewelry seems unreasonable, and I dont enjoy stressing myself out. Jewelry is supposed to be fun, because it is ultimately a frivolous item that no one really needs.

I agree with this. And with Kenny. I don't look at anything except my e-ring center stone as "forever," though they very likely may all be since so far what I have all gets worn pretty frequently and I'm not particularly good at getting rid of stuff anyway. And I'm pretty strict with budgeting so while I end up with SOME stuff that I will end up selling, I don't see myself having to ever sell off half of my collection or anything - more like a tenth, so far mostly types of stones I bought for the first time before I knew I didn't like them. But really, who knows?

 

[Circe]

I'm still pondering this for myself ... but for you, Phoenix, might it be that there's a disjuncture between what you like with your eyes vs. what you like with your mind? I remember that one of your pieces that you've never expressed a desire to change or upgrade is your very blingy bracelet, which doesn't seem as stat-dependent as many of your other pieces. Could it be either that while in your mind big jewelry has to be a big center stone, your eyes (or circumstances) prefer very sparkly settings? Or perhaps just that you might have better luck selecting entire pieces that you can see you love from the get-go, as opposed to custom pieces that you tweak and tweak?

For me, it's something about the difference between being a collector and being a serial upgrader. I feel like there's less emphasis on any one piece being my be-all, end-all, because it's all part of my hoard. I'll be back once I turn it over in my head, I think ....

 

[yennyfire]

Well, anyone who knows my history here knows that I have made a couple of mistakes. My big mistake was not being patient and not thinking through my lifestyle and social circle. Just because we could afford a 5+ carat diamond ring did not mean that I should wear one and would be comfortable doing so. It took me 4 tries to get it right with my oval....I went from an ugly cushion (not saying cushions are ugly, just that my original selection was), to a better looking cushion that was in an ugly setting to a decent looking cushion in a very blingy setting to my OMB in it's forever setting.

Do I ever see things and start to covet and ponder selling *something* to make it happen? Yes....I'd be lying if I said no. However, when I actually picture myself selling my oval, I realize that I could never do it, as I adore both the stone and the setting.

I also adore my three stone. It helps that TGal posted so many photos of her three stone ring so that I knew exactly what I'd be getting. There are fleeting moments when I wish I'd gone larger with the stones, but then I picture how I'd feel in PTA Board meeting where my bling already draws quite a bit of attention and I realize that I'm perfectly happy with what I have.

I also realize that I don't want to divert any additional funds to bling (and I cringe when I think about the $$ wasted by all of my mistakes)...more important to fund college for the kids (all $800K it's going to take to pay for 4 years of private college for two kids) and our retirement. I have two lovely rings and a gorgeous pair of studs that are the perfect size for my ears...I'm satisfied.

I think that's the key...when you're satisfied, you won't have the *hunger* to change anything. You'll admire other people's bling, but won't start scheming ways to trade your items in for what someone else has.....

You just haven't settled on your forever pieces yet.... but you will!

 

[gregchang35]

Whether one keeps a piece forever or does annual trade-ins I think everyone is perfect.

If you don't like how you do it, change.
Don't beat yourself up.

+1

We are all different and therefore needs, wants, behaviours etc... are different.

 

[ame]

I think that's the key...when you're satisfied, you won't have the *hunger* to change anything. You'll admire other people's bling, but won't start scheming ways to trade your items in for what someone else has.....

Perfectly said. This is how I think I am. I LIKE things, I would like to have a couple other things, but I don't need to figure out how to pay for them or buy them. IF I came into a windfall and wanted them, great, MAYBE, but probably still wouldn't get em, because I probably wouldn't wear them.

 

[HopeDream]

Hi Phoenix,
I must say I am in awe of your collection – it’s truly an inspiration! I’m sorry you’re feeling discontent –
Here are a couple of different ways of looking at your problem:

The Illusion of Choice

If I have one black t-shirt it’s my favorite black t-shirt and I wear it all the time. If I have 3 slightly different black t-shirts then I will usually still only end up wearing my favorite one, even though there are 3 options available. Multiple versions of the same type of item represent fake abundance because there is usually one that is the best and the others are superfluous. Keeping rarely-used pieces because of sentimentality or out of obligation to the gifter just doesn’t make sense – either it’s your favorite or it’s not – if it’s not, it goes. (unless your definition of a forever piece includes 1 or 2 items that are kept for special occasions).

Seeing so many different pieces on PS can cause confusion between what you “like the look of” and what actually feels comfortable to wear and fits your lifestyle (“Forever” pieces are comfortable). Keep a jewellery diary of what you actually wear everyday for a year, and then try and figure out what it is about those pieces that makes them appealing – you might surprise yourself.

Can you settle on a signature style or do you crave novelty all the time?

Sufficientist vs Maximalist

Gretchen Ruben talked about different shopping habits in her book The Happiness Project:

The sufficientist shopper looking for a blue teapot will buy the first blue teapot they come across and be happy – because it fits both of their criteria: 1) it’s a teapot, 2) it’s blue. Once an object is found that meets the criteria sufficiently, the shopping stops because the Sufficientist’s needs are met.

Sufficientist PSers are easy to please (eg. 1.75 ct, signature triple ex D, IF, in a classic platinum tiffany style setting. Done.)

The Maximalist shopper must visit every shop that sells teapots and see all the blue teapots available before weighing the different price vs value options ( bigger, bluer teapot for more $$$, smaller less blue teapot, but a great bargain, medium very blue teapot at a reasonable price etc.). Once the maximalist has all the possible information, only then are they comfortable enough to make a purchase and stop shopping around.

I’m pretty sure that almost all PSers are maximalist when it comes to diamonds.

A maximalist PSer can quickly find a “forever stone” among the immediately available options given their preferred criteria. However, as time goes by and lovely new stones and potential amazing deals become available, the hunt subconsciously continues. If a new stone has a better price to value ratio for the maximalist the old “forever stone” will be traded in again and again until the maximalist has the best possible stone for the best possible deal. What a PSer values may change over time with fashion and broadening tastes, or may become fixed by sentimental value and a sense of appreciation and fondness for the piece.

Lifetime Willingness To Pay

Every PSer has a maximum “lifetime willingness to pay” (LWTP) for bling, beyond which they can’t justify spending another dollar, no matter how fabulous (eg. “This rock cost more than my car.”).

For many PSers LWTP will max out at 10-20k or so. They upgrade until they hit their max LWTP and then they have a “forever” piece. They are content because they have found the best bling for their budget.

Some lucky PSers have quite high LWTPs or a LWTP that just continues to increase over time. These folks can just upgrade and upgrade and upgrade, or try a completely different look every few years. It takes longer to find a forever piece, because with more money comes far more options.

Sometimes folks will unwittingly overshoot their LTWP and then downgrade later (eg. Amethyst and Lemony and I’m sure many others). Other folks will try to undershoot their LWTP but will be unhappy until they end up getting what they want eventually (eg. DreamerD and others).

Phoenix, in your case I think you are a maximalist shopper with an abundant LWTP that allows you to have more than one of each basic piece (e-ring, wedding band, rhr, earrings, necklace, bracelet etc.). So it could take you a while until you figure out exactly what your perfect “forever piece” is.

I hope you find contentment soon!

 

[Phoenix]

Oh Phoenix, I can totally relate as I suspect many PSers can as well. Sometimes it feels like a sickness that I constantly look at jewelry and feel the need to buy more beautiful pieces. Like you I have decided I want to stop the madness and just stop buying more. Once I reset my ER that is. However, my dh, who is too wise, says he fully expects this will not be my last reset. He might be right. I don't know for sure. Though I think if I could afford to get the size and personality diamond I truly want I would finally be at peace. But my track record isn't good re satiation forever and I thought my ER diamond was going to be my forever diamond but that darn DSS set in relatively soon after. Sigh. At least I am truly happy with my choice of dh and have no desire or need to change that choice LOL.

I think Jennifer is quite right in that it has a lot to do with personality type. But I don't know how to change that. If I could afford to I would most definitely upgrade my ER diamond to a much larger one but money is a limiting factor so at least I cannot do much damage that way haha. I look at my mom who has never changed her original diamond and setting and I so wish I could be happy like that with my ER.

Your Holly is truly one of a kind and a beautiful forever piece regardless of whatever setting you might decide on for its forever (or not forever) home.

Sorry I cannot offer any words of wisdom as I too am afflicted with this "disease" and will be watching this thread for the wisdom of fellow PSers. I suspect if I stopped wasting energy obsessing about jewelry I could channel that energy into more important and worthwhile projects and that might be a relief. But I know I must have a project to obsess over as that is my personality. As much as I long for peace of mind my mind won't allow it.

Ha ha, I suspected some PS'ers could relate to this "disease"!
What size and personality diamond do you truly want? Don't you hate that DSS?
LOL about being happy with your choice of DH! I bet your DH would be relieved to hear that, ha ha...
Yes, I think Jennifer may be onto something there, indeed. It seems that my own personality is that I am never 100% happy wtih anything, I am always looking to improve - life is one long continual road of improvements. I am continually thinking of doing better at my job/ career. Our house could always do with this updating, that updating ..maybe a new kitchen, maybe different tiles in the bathroom etc.....That's actually scary!! Mind you, I HAVE become better as I get older and I have learned to appreciate the moment, to appreciate things in the moment and learned to be satisfied with what I have NOW, even if it's not 100%. If I can in fact love Holly, my pear, my new (future) studs and (future) 3-stone ring 95-99%, that'd be plenty good enough for me.
Funny you mentioned your mother. If I were to be cheeky, I'd say I blame my fickleness on my own mother (God bless her soul) , she was contantly upgrading, changing her diamonds, changing her settings. She actually enjoyed the process itself , I'd venture to guess.

 

[Phoenix]

It sounds like you have worked out a lot of this for yourself already. Bravo! You know you want a core collection, and have sold the smaller items that do not make the cut. You know you want your core collection to be comprised of large, quality stones, and you have some of those already. Plus you have the knowledge to buy the right stones, so you shouldn't have the problem that many have here with their 'pre-PS' diamonds.
For me, I know that I will never sell any jewelry. I just can't. I usually attach some meaning to each piece, or its something I've wanted for a long time, so I just can't part with it. Also, the thought of losing money at resale is sickening. I also like the idea of being able to pass my collection on to my daughter one day. Far, far in the future hopefully. So, knowing that helps me be a little more discerning. That and lack of cash.
As for my list of things I want, yes, it is a bit long. But I have been over and over it, and I am very sure I want everything. It gets revised from time to time but the things I have earmarked for big occasions never change. I am (relatively) young so I can wait a few years for my most coveted items.
I find being on PS to be more helpful than not. Granted, it certainly fuels my acquisitive fire. Especially the big delicious solitaires like Holly, Poppy, and Venice. But it has also helped seeing such great diversity. I'm now pretty damn sure of my taste and realistic about what I would wear, hence my jewelry list being pretty solid and not having much change.
I'm not sure if this is helpful, because I have no plans to stop buying jewelry in my lifetime. I will always want more, and I have no guilt about spending money on myself. I've spent enough of my life feeling like I don't deserve nice things, or that I'm not worth the value of a beautiful piece of jewelry. I finally realise that some of my disposable income can be spent on me, on things I like.
I hope you can just relax a bit, accept that you love diamonds, and be very glad that you can afford them. This works for me.
Good luck!

Awww, you are too sweet! You've certainly put a positive spin on things. That's really nice!

I'd love to hear what you're hankering after. Sounds divine!

I know what you mean about feeling guilty about spending money on onself. I think if truth be known, I'd say this is the EXACT problem I've been having. Just to share a little bit, I came originally from a middle-class family (if you wanted to talk about classes, that is), we lost it all and then were very very poor. We struggled, I struggled and have worked very hard to get to where we/I am. For the longest time, my biggest fear in life was to be poor. Throughout my twenties and even in my thirties (when I was already established professionally and earning a good salary as an expat in Hong Kong), I was very stingy and would always think twice about spending money on myself. Mind you, I wasn't stingy with other people, just wt myself. Then my mom got really sick for a long period of time and eventually she died. After she passed away, we discovered a bunch of things that she'd bought but never ever used - she was saving them for the right moments, I guess. She was into diamonds but she only bought small things (she did have large diamonds loooooong ago - when my dad was earning good money, and before we lost it all), preferring to not wear them daily but only for special occassions. So all these beautiful diamonds never really got fully used and worn and shown off to others like she would have or should've wanted.

THAT was the turning point in my life. From the time she got terminally ill and esp when she passed away, I began to think that I needed to enjoy the hard fruits of my lavour - why save and scrimp when you could pop off any moment?

But then recently (like this past year or so), I realised that this was silly thinking and silly behaviour, that some of that money could be better utilised towards DH's and my retirement, that I could cut down on my spending on bling and put our resources to better usage. Hence this thread.

I'm happy to hear that you don't rack yourself with guilt when it comes to spending money on yourself, to buy nice blingy things; and I wil learn to relax and enjoy my collection.

Thank you, sweetie.

 

[Phoenix]

I imagine that those of us who are happy with our current collection have some other facet of life that we are constantly upgrading.

I upgraded my ring once, but I love my current ring and it is definitely my forever ring. But I've never been really covetous of others' jewelry, or wished I had a lot of pieces or anything like that. If this ring is the only diamond I have for the rest of my life I'm totally happy with that.

HOWEVER, I've spent my entire professional career upgrading from one situation to another. (And I'm not just talking about promotions, I'm talking about switching fields and entire careers.) I love my current job and career, but I know myself well enough to know that I will probably tire of it at some point and move on to something that seems bigger and better. I did the same thing in college--I think I declared five different majors in my four years of undergrad. I'm not unhappy with this habit, I have accepted it as part of what I need to thrive (and thankfully so has my husband!), but it is costly and a bit inconvenient at times. So, I'm not a serial jewelry upgrader, but I am a serial career upgrader!

Ha ha, other facets of my life are also getting upgrading. At the moment, I am also thinking about switching career or at least get a different job, doing something a bit more financially and mentally rewarding than what I am doing right now (which is part-time/ project work). Our house is being upgraded, bit by bit, as well.

I don't think there's anything wrong, per se, with wanting to upgrade one's career and doing something you consider more worthwhile and something that you get a better sense of satisfaction out of.

I LOVE your current ering. That's one BEAUTILICIOUS diamond encased in an equally GORGEOUS setting. I can see why it's your forever ring.

I do love Holly very much too, as I do my pear and hopefully the new studs and 3-stone ring. It is the coveting of others' pieces that I am trying to work on as well; that and trying to sell the smaller and/ or lower colour pieces that I bought 2-5 years ago.

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="Phoenix|1358660769|


But then recently (like this past year or so), I realised that this was silly thinking and silly behaviour, that some of that money could be better utilised towards DH's and my retirement, that I could cut down on my spending on bling and put our resources to better usage. Hence this thread.

[/quote]


oh c'mon Phoenix stop kidding yourself ...you know the best usage of money is to buy more diamonds...

 

[Phoenix]

Whether one keeps a piece forever or does annual trade-ins I think everyone is perfect.

If you don't like how you do it, change.
Don't beat yourself up.

You're funny, Kenny, and sweet.

I AM changing myself and my habits...trying to better myself generally speaking and get better with my financial habits (only as far as bling is concerned). Just wondered how others do it, bling wise.

 

[Phoenix]

I don't believe in forever pieces. We change all the time. To put that kind of expectation on something like jewelry seems unreasonable, and I dont enjoy stressing myself out. Jewelry is supposed to be fun, because it is ultimately a frivolous item that no one really needs.

I LOVE your thinking and philosophy on bling!

Ok, so maybe not "forever" but at least for a good few decades, right? Not changing every 2-3 or even every 5 years?

 

[Laila619]

For some of us, it almost seems like it's a bit of a hobby--hunting for a new this or that, tweaking a little here, etc. Nothing wrong with that as long as your wallet and your significant other are on board.

 

[LaraOnline]

For some of us, it almost seems like it's a bit of a hobby--hunting for a new this or that, tweaking a little here, etc. Nothing wrong with that as long as your wallet and your significant other are on board.

There's no denying though that diamonds are extremely costly.
It can dim the fun somewhat, because they are such a conspicuous form of consumption....turns jewellery into a bit of a competition, or even a reflection on character ....in a negative way!

I really love jewellery.
But it's an Extremely Expensive hobby. Which is a potential problem...not so much for me, but I could see my DH getting really frustrated!

Phoenix, can you replace the 'jewellery rush' with another type of thrill?
Driving fast cars? Jumping from planes? Hmmm.... compared to beautiful jewels, what else is there?

I guess the only real answer is to disconnect (from the jewellery community), deconstruct (the reasons why we feel drawn to jewellery purchases), and distract (find another hobby).

Hmmm.... I plan to start my Jewellery Detox in about a decade...

Current plan? Delay. Wait. Plan. Delay, delay, delay.

 

[loriken214]

The forever pieces tend to be things that have sentimental meaning to them. Your pieces tend to be more of an acquisition, therefore once the shoppers high is gone, you no longer feel the same about them.

I was thinking the same thing! It is the thrill of the chase....once the thrill is over, then it is on to the next conquest. Kinda like OCD. I went through this with colored stones and spent a small fortune on gemstones...most of them have been sold and I only kept a few.

Can you possibly wear all of your collection at once? Which pieces did you buy for special occasions? Think about each piece and what it means to you.

Also, who will inherit your collection after you are gone? Have you sorted all of that out?

Lori

 

[zoebartlett]

It's funny how PS can change people's perspective at times. Here, people talk of upgrades all the time. In my real life, it's not mentioned at all. There was a time when my mom was looking to replace her engagement ring because the original stone had fallen out. I explained again how trustworthy online vendors are and I also explained their upgrade policies just in case she was interested in that additional piece of information. She would never dream of upgrading, it turned out. I sent her a few vendors' links, and I worked with my dad on finding a few diamonds, but she was completely overwhelmed. She cancelled the search and didn't do anything for months. Around Thanksgiving I think, she and my dad were in a jewelry store and she found a ring she loved. They bought it and she's in love. It's her forever ring. Upgrading, no way!

 

[kenny]

It's funny how PS can change people's perspective at times. Here, people talk of upgrades all the time. In my real life, it's not mentioned at all.

Hang out on a piano forum and you are more likely to learn why trading up to a very expensive piano is justified.
Hang out on a car oil forum and you are more likely to send your old motor oil to get analyzed.
Hang out on a sewing forum and you are more likely to buy a Bernina machine made in Switzerland for thou$ands.

Fora explain what you GET for the big bucks and make the high end seem reasonable.

 

[decodelighted]

From the time she got terminally ill and esp when she passed away, I began to think that I needed to enjoy the hard fruits of my lavour - why save and scrimp when you could pop off any moment?

But then recently (like this past year or so), I realised that this was silly thinking and silly behaviour, that some of that money could be better utilised towards DH's and my retirement, that I could cut down on my spending on bling and put our resources to better usage. Hence this thread.

This, for me, is the key phrase. ENJOY. I'd argue that with your bling pursuits you are NOT actually, truly, fully enjoying "the fruits of your labour" -- rather, you are creating new labour. And new stresses. And frustrating yourself with fruitless searches for the wrong type of satisfaction.

What's that expression: just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD. Are you done proving to yourself you can have anything you want? Proving to others? Whether it's rocks or cars or pets or attention or whatever ... it is certainly worth examining, as you seem to be beginning to, whether they are truly making you happy. Or just a substitute for the exceptionally hard work of finding out what really will.

 

[Rosebloom]

I think you have a magnificent collection and as you grow and evolve, it does too. Seems perfectly reasonable to me!

Personally, my jewelry budget is so limited that I cannot afford to make many changes. I also tend to be fairly sentimental about pieces that are connected to life events. I find that I am most drawn to pieces that seem like art to me. If the setting reflects exceptional craftsmanship or inspired creativity, I love it so much more. I also get such delight out of dreaming up pieces. A favorite game I play as I'm falling asleep is to ponder "what would I do with a 1.25 carat marquise?" or whatever random stone I pick. I have so much fun thinking of just the right piece for me. Keeps me endlessly entertained and doesn't cost a thing!

Far better to be loyal to people than things. Don't spend another second fretting over it, I say.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Despite a modest budget, I have a lot of turn around, lol. The pieces which have stayed around the longest are the sentimental ones or the ones that I know I would have a lot of difficulty replacing, so when I think about selling them it makes me pause. Most of my interest is in colored gems so there's a lot to the unique factor.

I've replaced the setting and band of my wedding set, but I can't see myself replacing the diamond even though I'm sure our budget would allow for it in a few years. If I want a bigger diamond I might just get a very blingy RHR.

 

[Sparklelu]

Nothing is forever! Anything can be lost in an instant.
Seriously. So what to you are the pieces you would feel very sad about losing?Really to me its not the financial amount invested in the piece its the sentimentality of the piece. Those to me are forever pieces.
If it is a diamond hoop earring I can replace, not forever.
My mothers sapphire and diamond ring she bought on her last trip to Russia that I now have? If I lost that, I'd be upset, that is a forever piece. My 2 cents.
Plus I think my forever pieces are the classics that I go to day after day, studs, diamond bracelet,wedding set, Barbara necklace and I alternate my RHR. I have 5-6 rings I could wear, but I find I rotate between 3, my ruby diamond ring, my 5 stone trellis and my 2 stone grandma ring (my avatar ring )So I guess they are my forever pieces. Do I wish they we bigger, blingyier,sure but finaces won't allow what I would love to rock, so I am happy.
Although I have to say, my cousin wants to trade rings, she has a 3+ct old cut in a platinum mens ring from Grandpa that she would love to trade for Grandmas ring. Some days I'm tempted so I could then have that honkin solitare I would LOVE to have.

 

[Sparklelu]

Hope Dream,
thank you fro your post I really liked that!

 

[Roxy]

Hi Phoenix,
I must say I am in awe of your collection – it’s truly an inspiration! I’m sorry you’re feeling discontent –
Here are a couple of different ways of looking at your problem:

The Illusion of Choice

If I have one black t-shirt it’s my favorite black t-shirt and I wear it all the time. If I have 3 slightly different black t-shirts then I will usually still only end up wearing my favorite one, even though there are 3 options available. Multiple versions of the same type of item represent fake abundance because there is usually one that is the best and the others are superfluous. Keeping rarely-used pieces because of sentimentality or out of obligation to the gifter just doesn’t make sense – either it’s your favorite or it’s not – if it’s not, it goes. (unless your definition of a forever piece includes 1 or 2 items that are kept for special occasions).

Seeing so many different pieces on PS can cause confusion between what you “like the look of” and what actually feels comfortable to wear and fits your lifestyle (“Forever” pieces are comfortable). Keep a jewellery diary of what you actually wear everyday for a year, and then try and figure out what it is about those pieces that makes them appealing – you might surprise yourself.

Can you settle on a signature style or do you crave novelty all the time?

Sufficientist vs Maximalist

Gretchen Ruben talked about different shopping habits in her book The Happiness Project:

The sufficientist shopper looking for a blue teapot will buy the first blue teapot they come across and be happy – because it fits both of their criteria: 1) it’s a teapot, 2) it’s blue. Once an object is found that meets the criteria sufficiently, the shopping stops because the Sufficientist’s needs are met.

Sufficientist PSers are easy to please (eg. 1.75 ct, signature triple ex D, IF, in a classic platinum tiffany style setting. Done.)

The Maximalist shopper must visit every shop that sells teapots and see all the blue teapots available before weighing the different price vs value options ( bigger, bluer teapot for more $$$, smaller less blue teapot, but a great bargain, medium very blue teapot at a reasonable price etc.). Once the maximalist has all the possible information, only then are they comfortable enough to make a purchase and stop shopping around.

I’m pretty sure that almost all PSers are maximalist when it comes to diamonds.

A maximalist PSer can quickly find a “forever stone” among the immediately available options given their preferred criteria. However, as time goes by and lovely new stones and potential amazing deals become available, the hunt subconsciously continues. If a new stone has a better price to value ratio for the maximalist the old “forever stone” will be traded in again and again until the maximalist has the best possible stone for the best possible deal. What a PSer values may change over time with fashion and broadening tastes, or may become fixed by sentimental value and a sense of appreciation and fondness for the piece.

Lifetime Willingness To Pay

Every PSer has a maximum “lifetime willingness to pay” (LWTP) for bling, beyond which they can’t justify spending another dollar, no matter how fabulous (eg. “This rock cost more than my car.”).

For many PSers LWTP will max out at 10-20k or so. They upgrade until they hit their max LWTP and then they have a “forever” piece. They are content because they have found the best bling for their budget.

Some lucky PSers have quite high LWTPs or a LWTP that just continues to increase over time. These folks can just upgrade and upgrade and upgrade, or try a completely different look every few years. It takes longer to find a forever piece, because with more money comes far more options.

Sometimes folks will unwittingly overshoot their LTWP and then downgrade later (eg. Amethyst and Lemony and I’m sure many others). Other folks will try to undershoot their LWTP but will be unhappy until they end up getting what they want eventually (eg. DreamerD and others).

Phoenix, in your case I think you are a maximalist shopper with an abundant LWTP that allows you to have more than one of each basic piece (e-ring, wedding band, rhr, earrings, necklace, bracelet etc.). So it could take you a while until you figure out exactly what your perfect “forever piece” is.

I hope you find contentment soon!

These are some great points HD. Thanks for taking the time to share this!

 

[Roxy]

I don't believe in forever pieces. We change all the time. To put that kind of expectation on something like jewelry seems unreasonable, and I dont enjoy stressing myself out. Jewelry is supposed to be fun, because it is ultimately a frivolous item that no one really needs.

I LOVE your thinking and philosophy on bling!

Ok, so maybe not "forever" but at least for a good few decades, right? Not changing every 2-3 or even every 5 years?

I like your thinking too FK. We really are changing (growing, maturing??) all of the time. So, I agree that (for me) trying to live w/ the idea of having a "forever" ring (or "forever" collection of jewelry) as an adult, would be as foreign as trying to live with a "forever" collection of toys through my childhood years.

 

[jeweln]

Hopedream,
Great post .

 

[reader]

I still have some of my childhood toys. My first car was a beetle, I still drive two beetles. I keep ending up with look-alike cats from childhood onward. The ring I bought me in 2006, and a few other key pieces, I STILL get giddy with and play with in the sunshine. Then again, I've sold a number of pieces too. If it doesn't make you sing, sell it.

 

[Laila619]

Hope Dream,
thank you fro your post I really liked that!

Me too, very interesting and informative!

 

[justginger]

Hi Phoenix,
I must say I am in awe of your collection – it’s truly an inspiration! I’m sorry you’re feeling discontent –
Here are a couple of different ways of looking at your problem:

The Illusion of Choice

If I have one black t-shirt it’s my favorite black t-shirt and I wear it all the time. If I have 3 slightly different black t-shirts then I will usually still only end up wearing my favorite one, even though there are 3 options available. Multiple versions of the same type of item represent fake abundance because there is usually one that is the best and the others are superfluous. Keeping rarely-used pieces because of sentimentality or out of obligation to the gifter just doesn’t make sense – either it’s your favorite or it’s not – if it’s not, it goes. (unless your definition of a forever piece includes 1 or 2 items that are kept for special occasions).

Seeing so many different pieces on PS can cause confusion between what you “like the look of” and what actually feels comfortable to wear and fits your lifestyle (“Forever” pieces are comfortable). Keep a jewellery diary of what you actually wear everyday for a year, and then try and figure out what it is about those pieces that makes them appealing – you might surprise yourself.

Can you settle on a signature style or do you crave novelty all the time?

Sufficientist vs Maximalist

Gretchen Ruben talked about different shopping habits in her book The Happiness Project:

The sufficientist shopper looking for a blue teapot will buy the first blue teapot they come across and be happy – because it fits both of their criteria: 1) it’s a teapot, 2) it’s blue. Once an object is found that meets the criteria sufficiently, the shopping stops because the Sufficientist’s needs are met.

Sufficientist PSers are easy to please (eg. 1.75 ct, signature triple ex D, IF, in a classic platinum tiffany style setting. Done.)

The Maximalist shopper must visit every shop that sells teapots and see all the blue teapots available before weighing the different price vs value options ( bigger, bluer teapot for more $$$, smaller less blue teapot, but a great bargain, medium very blue teapot at a reasonable price etc.). Once the maximalist has all the possible information, only then are they comfortable enough to make a purchase and stop shopping around.

I’m pretty sure that almost all PSers are maximalist when it comes to diamonds.

A maximalist PSer can quickly find a “forever stone” among the immediately available options given their preferred criteria. However, as time goes by and lovely new stones and potential amazing deals become available, the hunt subconsciously continues. If a new stone has a better price to value ratio for the maximalist the old “forever stone” will be traded in again and again until the maximalist has the best possible stone for the best possible deal. What a PSer values may change over time with fashion and broadening tastes, or may become fixed by sentimental value and a sense of appreciation and fondness for the piece.

Lifetime Willingness To Pay

Every PSer has a maximum “lifetime willingness to pay” (LWTP) for bling, beyond which they can’t justify spending another dollar, no matter how fabulous (eg. “This rock cost more than my car.”).

For many PSers LWTP will max out at 10-20k or so. They upgrade until they hit their max LWTP and then they have a “forever” piece. They are content because they have found the best bling for their budget.

Some lucky PSers have quite high LWTPs or a LWTP that just continues to increase over time. These folks can just upgrade and upgrade and upgrade, or try a completely different look every few years. It takes longer to find a forever piece, because with more money comes far more options.

Sometimes folks will unwittingly overshoot their LTWP and then downgrade later (eg. Amethyst and Lemony and I’m sure many others). Other folks will try to undershoot their LWTP but will be unhappy until they end up getting what they want eventually (eg. DreamerD and others).

Phoenix, in your case I think you are a maximalist shopper with an abundant LWTP that allows you to have more than one of each basic piece (e-ring, wedding band, rhr, earrings, necklace, bracelet etc.). So it could take you a while until you figure out exactly what your perfect “forever piece” is.

I hope you find contentment soon!

These are some great points HD. Thanks for taking the time to share this!

I agree. This is perhaps one of the most valuable posts I've seen on PS.