Yaaay we're engaged!!! Eeeeek!!! I don't like my diamond

[sledge]

Watch a few YouTube videos together....I'm sure he will be on your side soon enough!

 

[bmfang]

@Bron357 uses a really good analogy there. One that most guys would get (myself included).

Your dear significant other needs to learn the age old maxim “Happy wife (future or current), happy life” (I’ve learnt that over the last 7 plus years). But within limits. You sound like a perfectly reasonable fiancée (unlike that other one that was in the news recently for not giving back an engagement ring).

Here’s hoping that you are able to find a replacement that looks and performs way better than the original stone you received. You’ve received some excellent advice in this thread.

Lastly, congrats to you and your fiancé on this occasion! Start small and over time you will be able to upgrade. That’s what has happened to my wife’s rings: family ring first for the e-ring which has since been modestly upgraded with two additional solitaires since we’ve been married (one of which was a push present upon the birth of our son almost two years ago).

 

[bmfang]

Watch a few YouTube videos together....I'm sure he will be on your side soon enough!

ROFLMAO!

 

[natasha-cupcake]

@natasha-cupcake wow that seems to be the most ridiculous return policy ever! So hypothetically, it could take 30days to manufacture and deliver a product and opsie, no return policy.

Yeah, I thought the three and a half weeks to fabricate and send the ring was BS. It was also pretty scum-y of them to ignore my email requests for an RMA, too. I'll NEVER purchase from them again.

 

[WinkHPD]

And now, due to the miracle of the Internet, neither will many people who might of.

Oops, playing "gotcha" as an internet business is pretty much like committing really slow suicide. Thank you for sharing your experience with us Natasha-cupcake!

Wink

 

[farrahlyn]

You've received some great advice so i won't add to it.

If you're considering completely returning it (ouch, that does hurt but i'm sure your fiance would want you to be completely happy with your ring) then there is this really nice stone on FourMine.com with room in the budget for even possibly platinum, depending on the setting you choose.

https://www.fourmine.com/diamonds/index/diamonddetail/id/1818475

settings:
https://www.fourmine.com/shop/engag...solitaire-engagement-ring?metal=157&shape=167

https://www.fourmine.com/shop/engag...t-diamond-engagement-ring?metal=157&shape=167

https://www.fourmine.com/shop/engag...solitaire-engagement-ring?metal=150&shape=167

https://www.fourmine.com/shop/engagement-rings/flowering-solitaire-diamond-ring?metal=150&shape=167

https://www.fourmine.com/shop/engag...al-basket-engagement-ring?metal=157&shape=167

ETA: I think someone mentioned IDJ, they are really great with budgets and have procured some really gorgeous stones. Giving them a call with your budget and letting them know you want a PS qulity stone could get you a very nice ring if you want a more personalized experience.

 

[diamondsareagirls]

https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4027060.htm

Too small? I am sure a Whiteflash ACA K will look just as white if not whiter than your current J. I have a J ACA and while I don't go around putting it next to a D, it looks white to me! All the ACA line from WF sparkle like CRAZY and will look bigger than the carat size. Just a thought! They have an awesome upgrade policy as well.

 

[Jsummer327]

https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4027060.htm

Too small? I am sure a Whiteflash ACA K will look just as white if not whiter than your current J. I have a J ACA and while I don't go around putting it next to a D, it looks white to me! All the ACA line from WF sparkle like CRAZY and will look bigger than the carat size. Just a thought! They have an awesome upgrade policy as well.

oooo i like this one!!

 

[wildcatz]

oooo i like this one!!

If you are considering this one, I would ask Whiteflash to take photos with a white background, including a side shot so that you can better evaluate the color. I love Whiteflash stones, but the black background they are using now makes it difficult to see the actual color.

 

[Jsummer327]

If you are considering this one, I would ask Whiteflash to take photos with a white background, including a side shot so that you can better evaluate the color. I love Whiteflash stones, but the black background they are using now makes it difficult to see the actual color.

Ok thanks - the woman I spoke to is going to pull it from the inventory today and says she will take photos for me!

 

[ringo865]

Congratulations on your engagement. Sorry about the ring. [many] Guys really don’t get it.

Hopefully an honest convo will open up your options.

Get your ring returned tho now...before your decision is made for you

 

[seaglass]

Speaking as a guy, I couldn't care less if my fiance decided she didn't like the ring I picked out (even though I worked many many hours on it). I specifically asked her multiple times during the return period if she wanted to return it for ANY reason or if there was ANY reason she didn't like it, wanted it to be bigger, different setting etc... The ring does not symbolize my abilities to pick out an ER, but instead it is a symbol of our commitment together. Having this conversation with "J" should not be something to avoid. You're going to marry this guy. You're going to have a lot more difficult conversations in the years ahead (or so I'm told ).

And as for size, ours is only 0.71, but it shines like crazy!!!! So much FIRE!!! We've both seen many larger rings since then that look like rock salt in comparison.

 

[LaylaR]

I am demonstrating the "Trade" badge. I was a prosumer on here for 10 years. My screen name was Gypsy.

The second I joined the trade, I retired my old screen name and prosumer account, for a new screen name and a Trade account, complete with badge. PS strictly regulates vendors.

Here's what I want to share with you:



An ideal cut diamond with edge to edge brilliance will look brighter, whiter and LARGER than a poorly cut one with a higher color grade and larger dimensions or heavier weight.

Your budget a a good one, frankly, as long as you keep your expectations reasonable. If you want a larger diamond down the line: work with a vendor with a good upgrade policy (they are NOT all the same) and then for anniversaries and other occasions you can trade in your stone for a larger one.

I just helped a client with a similar budget who bought an 80 point J in an elegant solitaire (see below) .We all have budgets to adhere to. And now that you've found PS, the posters here will make sure that your budget ring looks like a splurge that will knock your socks off.

I mean, really... does this look "budget" or "yellow" to you? Not even a little bit. Cut is king.

**edited by moderator, trade may not post photos to show off items**

 

[LLJsmom]

I am demonstrating the "Trade" badge. I was a prosumer on here for 10 years. My screen name was Gypsy.

The second I joined the trade, I retired my old screen name and prosumer account, for a new screen name and a Trade account, complete with badge. PS strictly regulates vendors.

Here's what I want to share with you:



An ideal cut diamond with edge to edge brilliance will look brighter, whiter and LARGER than a poorly cut one with a higher color grade and larger dimensions or heavier weight.

Your budget a a good one, frankly, as long as you keep your expectations reasonable. If you want a larger diamond down the line: work with a vendor with a good upgrade policy (they are NOT all the same) and then for anniversaries and other occasions you can trade in your stone for a larger one.

I just helped a client with a similar budget who bought an 80 point J in an elegant solitaire (see below) .We all have budgets to adhere to. And now that you've found PS, the posters here will make sure that your budget ring looks like a splurge that will knock your socks off.

I mean, really... does this look "budget" or "yellow" to you? Not even a little bit. Cut is king.

**edited by moderator, trade may not post photos to show off items**

Everything she said.

 

[Jsummer327]

An update...

Had the conversation with my fiance regarding exchanging the diamond and it was fine I shouldn't have gotten so worked up about it. He was perfectly ok with us exchanging it. We actually ended up deciding to do a full return, between being advised against the lab many of the company's diamonds were evaluated by, as well as concerns over their return and upgrade policies. Believe it or not we are still waiting on our refund. It took me a couple days to get up the nerve to have the conversation. Then I had an illness for a few days, then there was a long holiday where the post office was closed on Monday, then when we finally got it en route back to Florida, multiple hurricanes in a row slowed down the postal service delivery for several days beyond when we were quoted. When it finally arrived back to them, it was 28 days into their 30 day return policy. Woew. It was a close one. They confirmed that they had received it and we got the signature page back from the post office delivery, got in writing confirmation from the company they'd received it, etc. In the return email, it said returns could take up to 20 business days to complete! And that purchases made with a credit card (ours was - hoarding Chase points for the honeymoon!) would take even longer than that to actually hit the account as refunded. So I have been waiting. patiently. I called the company on business day 16 and they say it will go through on the 20th day (um, ok.. So do they even TRY to get it done sooner?). The 20th day was Friday. Refund hasn't hit the account. Will call on Monday, but surely we are in the last couple days of this wait (which is killing me lol. To have gotten engaged in September and still not have the ring on my finger at Thanksgiving . But it's fine, I will get to wear it forever soon )

So! That being said I am back to the hunt to finally make the purchase
I reached out about before. However the budget is now 4500 diamond only. So that changes my options of course. If anyone has recommendations let me know! Soo not enjoying this process of having to choose from thousands and thousands of diamonds online, especially as someone who doesn't know anything about diamonds.

Quick recap on what I'm looking for: original diamond was 1.07 carat J color I2 with a black carbon spot
With new budget, hoping to find ideal cut (but may have to settle for excellent - think as a layman I will think excellent cut is super sparkly? Lol I'm all about the sparkle) round solitaire, will compromise on color and clarity for superior cut and more carat.

Let me know if you have thoughts, y'all were sooo helpful last time!! Thanks

 

[PreRaphaelite]

So glad you got confirmation that your refund is processing. That kind of company must have to deal with credit card charge-backs all the time, so please know it's an option for you if they try to mess around. Your credit card will issue you a credit and resolve it for you, so there's no worry!

I can't wait to see which stone you get! Best wishes and congratulations on your engagement!

 

[lovedogs]

So here are 2 I found. Both are K colored (lower color than your other stone), BUT they are GIA graded, so my guess is they will look like the same color (or whiter) than your original stone because of the certification being from a less strict lab.

https://www.adiamor.com/Diamonds/1....Cut-Round-Diamond/D42331851?&refer=pricescope

https://www.fourmine.com/shop/diamo...ce=rarecarat&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=2018

**IF clarity is totally unnecessary, but this just happened to be in the size and budget you were looking for, so that's why it's there. I was searching for anything SI1 and above (or SI2 with pics/videos so I could check clarity issues).

 

[lovedogs]

You can also always go with a "super ideal" cut from a vendor with an amazing upgrade policy, but that means sacrificing size.
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4045344.htm

Just something to consider.

I would also strongly suggest calling ID Jewelry and asking for Yeukatiel. He works wonders in terms of helping people who want to maximize cut and size for a budget. I would tell him you want a "PriceScope quality" diamond and your budget and preferred specs.

 

[kmoro]

Hi, just weighing in on “the conversation”.
Yes, he will be miffed that you didn’t like his choice and yes he probably thought he was getting a great buy at $1800 compared to the $5 - 7000 rings you look at AND he will not “get” why it even matters.
It’s white, it’s sparkly, it’s an engagement ring - what else do you want?
It’s a guy thing.
Explain that your engagement ring is your most treasured piece of jewellery, it’s the piece that you hope you can pass down to a son or daughter. It’s a ring you will wear everyday of the rest of your life and you want it to be wonderful and special and you want to feel a thrill and a wave of happiness every time you look at it and you will look at it a hundred times a day.
If he’s into car explain it this way.
Imagine he wanted a Porsche and you bought him one.
When you looked at them he was very excited by their speed and performance and was very much looking forward to driving such a superb example of automotive engineering. Except instead of high performance turbo engine, the cheap one you found and bought has a 1600cc VW engine under the bonnet.
It’s a Porsche isn’t it? It has a German engine? It drives? It looks ok?
Wouldn’t he be disappointed? Wouldn’t he wince every time he starts it up and hears it’s awful “dac dac dac” sound instead of a deep powerful purr.
A successful and enduring marriage requires negotiating your way through lots of tricky conversations. When something really matters to you, and the ring does, you need to express yourself clearly and explain that while he may not understand why it matters, he needs to appreciate that it does. You appreciate that a $5 to $7k ring is off the table, like the Porsche, but the $1800 ring is poor quality and so a mid point of say $3500 will be a fair compromise.
He loves you, he wants to marry you - do not hold in feelings that really matter to you.

Great post!

 

[AprilBaby]

Ok, I don’t understand the mouse trap wake up thing at all. Why would anyone do that?

 

[Wewechew]

You can also always go with a "super ideal" cut from a vendor with an amazing upgrade policy, but that means sacrificing size.
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4045344.htm

I would go with Whiteflash because of their upgrade policy. I am currently wearing a .8ct on a size 7.5 finger, and it’s a nice size.

 

[diamondsareagirls]

This is a good sized K from Whiteflash just about in the budget.
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3983292.htm

 

[TreeScientist]

This is a good sized K from Whiteflash just about in the budget.
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-3983292.htm

I like the idea of going with a lower colored diamond in the size that you want from a vendor with a great upgrade policy, especially since you don't seem to be bothered by color all that much. Makes it much easier to upgrade down the line to a similar-sized diamond of higher color. If you're going with a simple prong solitaire setting (which is seems like you are) and you decide to upgrade in the future to a higher colored (say H colored) diamond that's within about .1mm or so of the original stone, then they wouldn't even need to remake the head or prongs of the ring. Just pop the old stone out and put the new one in.

So if you like the 1-ish carat size, this Whiteflash K seems like a good option. Also looks nice and clean for an SI1.

 

[Jsummer327]

You can also always go with a "super ideal" cut from a vendor with an amazing upgrade policy, but that means sacrificing size.
https://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-4045344.htm

Just something to consider.

I would also strongly suggest calling ID Jewelry and asking for Yeukatiel. He works wonders in terms of helping people who want to maximize cut and size for a budget. I would tell him you want a "PriceScope quality" diamond and your budget and preferred specs.

I called ID jewelry but the woman I spoke with didn't explain the upgrade policy very well. She kept talking about potentially adding more diamonds later. I don't want to add more diamonds later, I just want the option to upgrade the solitaire. Going to search their website again but didn't see anything yesterday about an upgrade policy. Any chance you know about that? Do some companies have no upgrade policy at all? I felt like that's what the woman was trying to say... That my option would be to just add diamonds on the side lager, which doesn't really interest me. I like the single diamond.

 

[lovedogs]

I called ID jewelry but the woman I spoke with didn't explain the upgrade policy very well. She kept talking about potentially adding more diamonds later. I don't want to add more diamonds later, I just want the option to upgrade the solitaire. Going to search their website again but didn't see anything yesterday about an upgrade policy. Any chance you know about that? Do some companies have no upgrade policy at all? I felt like that's what the woman was trying to say... That my option would be to just add diamonds on the side lager, which doesn't really interest me. I like the single diamond.

It's true that some companies don't have upgrade policies. I would call back and specifically ask for Yeukitiel. Some of the other employees are harder to talk to, and he's amazing and kind.

 

[farrahlyn]

1.26 K SI1
I like this one for a few reasons. The K color is also "faint brown" so no yellow tint, it's more of a brown tone. I personally PREFER this but not everyone does. It looks stunning with rose gold imo. also strong fluoro which i just love in a warmer stone. Should be eye clean unless you have eagle eyes but you can always confirm with the vendor.
https://www.fourmine.com/diamonds/index/diamonddetail/id/180694-279

1.20 K SI1 love, LOVE this stone! Great clarity, definitely eye clean and love the tiny table on it
https://www.fourmine.com/diamonds/index/diamonddetail/id/180650-2539

 

[lovedogs]

1.26 K SI1
I like this one for a few reasons. The K color is also "faint brown" so no yellow tint, it's more of a brown tone. I personally PREFER this but not everyone does. It looks stunning with rose gold imo. also strong fluoro which i just love in a warmer stone. Should be eye clean unless you have eagle eyes but you can always confirm with the vendor.
https://www.fourmine.com/diamonds/index/diamonddetail/id/180694-279

1.20 K SI1 love, LOVE this stone! Great clarity, definitely eye clean and love the tiny table on it
https://www.fourmine.com/diamonds/index/diamonddetail/id/180650-2539

The 1.20 is the one I linked above (except I saw it on adiamor) and is definitely my favorite of the bunch. It's so lovely!

 

[farrahlyn]

The 1.20 is the one I linked above (except I saw it on adiamor) and is definitely my favorite of the bunch. It's so lovely!

I'll admit i didnt even look at those posted But hey, great minds and all! Definitely my favorite as well

 

[sledge]

GIA XXX 1.05 H SI1 @ $4,720 wire
https://enchanteddiamonds.com/diamonds/view/R105-261075295?utm_source=rarecarat&utm_medium=cpc

Proportions are quite lovely and you get a color bump. Clarity plot looks pretty good. Not crazy about knots but this one is tiny and hardly anything is located on the table. Potential negative is the strong blue fluorescence. As long as the stone is not cloudy/hazy it's an non-issue. Fluor typically doesn't negatively impact light performance but it is a preference you have to be okay with as it may (temporarily) turn bluish under extreme UV lighted conditions. The plus side is stones with fluor trade for less money than those w/o fluor and it can help whiten the stone ever so slightly as well.

I noticed the GIA cert is dated 8/4/14 so this appears to be a trade-in of some sort. I would like to see ED send back to GIA for an updated cert to ensure nothing has changed. It shouldn't but it's always good to be cautious.

57 table, 61.3 depth, 34.5 crown, 40.8 pavilion, 80 LGF, medium girdle

HCA score 1.3
AGA/NAJA score cut 1A (best available)

https://www.pricescope.com/tools/AGA_NAJA_Cut_Class_Grader
https://datlas.com/do-it-yourself-aganaja-cut-class-grader/

 

[Jsummer327]

So I realized yesterday that I will see my family for Thanksgiving on Thursday and my mother would disown me if she knew I sent back the ring Jordan bought so it was either lie to my mother (never a good option!!) or get a ring on my finger before Thursday so she thinks it's the same ring she witnessed him propose to me with on the beach in September!! She would not understand. She's extremely frugal and even though she and my dad are self-made millionaires, she still rocks the quarter carat ring my dad originally gave her in the seventies. Never had the desire to upgrade it. She would think she had raised an absolute brat. There would be too many questions. It's just better for everyone to keep this between he and I.

This, coupled with a bad case of analysis paralysis, led me to take the recommendations I've had on here to call ID Jewelry in New York. The woman there took away all the bombardment of choices I've gotten online (between searching myself mostly and then getting too caught up trying to compare details on here that people bring up that I'm completely uninformed on) and instead sent me two options. I bought one of the two . I think that's what I needed. NO MORE CHOICES They're setting it tomorrow in the same simple cathedral look I shipping it overnight to arrive Wednesday, and I will have it on my finger just in time for the Thanksgiving family gathering.

, I'm afraid to post the specs on here to be torn apart lol since you all are such experts!! My only concern is that the diamond I chose was right on the 1.00 mark. (I would think slightly smaller might be a slightly better deal than right on the mark). The diamond I got was GIA certified (the first ring we had was not). It's an SI2 (the woman says it is eye-clean though), it's an I (the first was a J), 1.00 carat (the first was 1.07). The cut is Ideal (the first was Good). No fluorescence (I can't tell the difference between those with and without this marker). And of course we significantly upped the budget to accommodate these upgrades, but still came in under 5K (4500 including $500 setting).

Fingers crossed until I see it with my own eyes. Wish me luck!!! And thank you all so much for all the advice!!!