Women's March Jan 21, 2017

[ruby59]

Ruby,
I have been thinking about you lately. It seems like you are someone who has been hurt and survived probably unfair circumstances. I hope you have people IRL to support and help you. It seems you find PS unsupportive which is probably hurtful and confusing. It is difficult for you to focus on what is being said in a thread and reply in a way we can understand. I sincerely hope you heal from whatever happened. I have decided to read your posts with a different lens. One of compassion instead of irritation. I am reminded of the saying, "if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." I really hope you are okay.

Please save your pity for those on here who need it.

Empathy should never be confused with pity. I thought carefully before I posted knowing you may not understand my intentions. I stand by what I said. You are clearly hurting. I sincerely hope you can heal.

You do not know me. I do not know you.

I certainly would never write such a self serving post to someone I did not know.

I do not want your empathy or pity.

As I said save it for someone who really wants and needs it.

I understand you more than you think. I am guessing female relationships are very difficult for you. It would explain the difference between your response to Kenny and your response to me. I am choosing to look at you from a different lens. I do think you need that.

And you can tell all this from my one response?

Posters, can you imagine if it were me posting this self indulging garbage?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Tacori, you are and have always been a class act here on PS.

I appreciate that. Thank you.

 

[ruby59]

Tacori, you are and have always been a class act here on PS.

So you feel this line of posts is fine?

But I dare question the actions of other mothers?



Eliot, your true colors are obvious.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ruby,
I have been thinking about you lately. It seems like you are someone who has been hurt and survived probably unfair circumstances. I hope you have people IRL to support and help you. It seems you find PS unsupportive which is probably hurtful and confusing. It is difficult for you to focus on what is being said in a thread and reply in a way we can understand. I sincerely hope you heal from whatever happened. I have decided to read your posts with a different lens. One of compassion instead of irritation. I am reminded of the saying, "if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." I really hope you are okay.

Please save your pity for those on here who need it.

Empathy should never be confused with pity. I thought carefully before I posted knowing you may not understand my intentions. I stand by what I said. You are clearly hurting. I sincerely hope you can heal.

You do not know me. I do not know you.

I certainly would never write such a self serving post to someone I did not know.

I do not want your empathy or pity.

As I said save it for someone who really wants and needs it.

I understand you more than you think. I am guessing female relationships are very difficult for you. It would explain the difference between your response to Kenny and your response to me. I am choosing to look at you from a different lens. I do think you need that.

And you can tell all this from my one response?

Posters, can you imagine if it were me posting this self indulging garbage?

Actually, I have read many posts by you in many different threads. You are not okay. You deserve my concern, not my judgement.

 

[ruby59]

Ruby,
I have been thinking about you lately. It seems like you are someone who has been hurt and survived probably unfair circumstances. I hope you have people IRL to support and help you. It seems you find PS unsupportive which is probably hurtful and confusing. It is difficult for you to focus on what is being said in a thread and reply in a way we can understand. I sincerely hope you heal from whatever happened. I have decided to read your posts with a different lens. One of compassion instead of irritation. I am reminded of the saying, "if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." I really hope you are okay.

Please save your pity for those on here who need it.

Empathy should never be confused with pity. I thought carefully before I posted knowing you may not understand my intentions. I stand by what I said. You are clearly hurting. I sincerely hope you can heal.

You do not know me. I do not know you.

I certainly would never write such a self serving post to someone I did not know.

I do not want your empathy or pity.

As I said save it for someone who really wants and needs it.

I understand you more than you think. I am guessing female relationships are very difficult for you. It would explain the difference between your response to Kenny and your response to me. I am choosing to look at you from a different lens. I do think you need that.

And you can tell all this from my one response?

Posters, can you imagine if it were me posting this self indulging garbage?

Actually, I have read many posts by you in many different threads. You are not okay. You deserve my concern, not my judgement.

And you just deserved my reporting these posts to Ella for harassment.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Tacori, you are and have always been a class act here on PS.

So you feel this line of posts is fine?

But I dare question the actions of other mothers?

I think your posts cry out for attention. I don't think it matters terribly to you if the attention is good or bad. You have asked several times why people can't treat you with understanding and compassion. Well Tacori just did and you threw it in her face and called it garbage.

And anyway, what does it matter what I think? As you said, we don't know you. You seem very angry and I hope it gets better for you, but I don't have any answers as to why you do the things you do and say the things you say. It seems you let an online forum affect you in ways that most here don't and for that I guess I'd suggest some soul searching, as ksinger said she did at one point. You clearly don't agree, so I wouldn't expect anything to change, but I hope it gets better for ya.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

[quote="ruby59

And you just deserved my reporting these posts to Ella for harassment.[/quote]

I am sorry you feel offended. My posts are out of concern. I hope you have support and kindness in your life. We all deserve that.

 

[Dee*Jay]

I've been rather MIA due to a big project for the past few days, but Tacori (and Erica and anyone else that I'm failing to include here), I wanted to clarify something I said earlier this thread to make it understood I was not judging anyone's mothering decisions. I have no children (other that The Demon and Oscar) and I am completely unqualified to evaluate the way anyone chooses to raise their child. I did make comments about being worried about the safety of children (and dogs) at the marches, and I was thinking of specific photos I had seen of VERY small children (like toddlers) at a few of the events. Had a march gone bad that could have been tragic, but obviously that situation could be tragic for anyone under the right (wrong) circumstances. I do think that it's important for children to see democracy (if we can call it that anymore) at work and marches like we had last weekend would be, in my opinion, educational and hopeflly inspiring.

Regarding the outfits portraying various body parts... frankly some of them were so far-fetched I'm not sure how a reasonable conversation could even be had with a child who didn't already know what was going on anyway. I do have to say though -- damn some of those people were creative!

OK, back to my giant spreadsheet. God bless wrapping-up-the-prior-year projects...

 

[the_mother_thing]

That sounds wonderful. I didn't mean to imply that you should wait for me. I only wanted to let the two of you (you and jaaron) know that I wasn't choosing not to start a thread myself out of disrespect.

No worries Deb; I didn't take it that way. The only reason I suggested someone else start the thread earlier was because I didn't want to bother if no one wished to partake.

Enjoy your trip!

 

[monarch64]

I've been rather MIA due to a big project for the past few days, but Tacori (and Erica and anyone else that I'm failing to include here), I wanted to clarify something I said earlier this thread to make it understood I was not judging anyone's mothering decisions. I have no children (other that The Demon and Oscar) and I am completely unqualified to evaluate the way anyone chooses to raise their child. I did make comments about being worried about the safety of children (and dogs) at the marches, and I was thinking of specific photos I had seen of VERY small children (like toddlers) at a few of the events. Had a march gone bad that could have been tragic, but obviously that situation could be tragic for anyone under the right (wrong) circumstances. I do think that it's important for children to see democracy (if we can call it that anymore) at work and marches like we had last weekend would be, in my opinion, educational and hopeflly inspiring.

Regarding the outfits portraying various body parts... frankly some of them were so far-fetched I'm not sure how a reasonable conversation could even be had with a child who didn't already know what was going on anyway. I do have to say though -- damn some of those people were creative!

OK, back to my giant spreadsheet. God bless wrapping-up-the-prior-year projects...

DeeJay, obviously what should have happened was a more literal/obvious getup. A simple tee shirt with "Vagina" on it really would have sufficed. (I am just recalling your "Ax Murderer" shirt.

 

[lovedogs]

I've been rather MIA due to a big project for the past few days, but Tacori (and Erica and anyone else that I'm failing to include here), I wanted to clarify something I said earlier this thread to make it understood I was not judging anyone's mothering decisions. I have no children (other that The Demon and Oscar) and I am completely unqualified to evaluate the way anyone chooses to raise their child. I did make comments about being worried about the safety of children (and dogs) at the marches, and I was thinking of specific photos I had seen of VERY small children (like toddlers) at a few of the events. Had a march gone bad that could have been tragic, but obviously that situation could be tragic for anyone under the right (wrong) circumstances. I do think that it's important for children to see democracy (if we can call it that anymore) at work and marches like we had last weekend would be, in my opinion, educational and hopeflly inspiring.

Regarding the outfits portraying various body parts... frankly some of them were so far-fetched I'm not sure how a reasonable conversation could even be had with a child who didn't already know what was going on anyway. I do have to say though -- damn some of those people were creative!

OK, back to my giant spreadsheet. God bless wrapping-up-the-prior-year projects...

Definitely didn't take your posts that way, Dee! You rock

 

[Dee*Jay]

I've been rather MIA due to a big project for the past few days, but Tacori (and Erica and anyone else that I'm failing to include here), I wanted to clarify something I said earlier this thread to make it understood I was not judging anyone's mothering decisions. I have no children (other that The Demon and Oscar) and I am completely unqualified to evaluate the way anyone chooses to raise their child. I did make comments about being worried about the safety of children (and dogs) at the marches, and I was thinking of specific photos I had seen of VERY small children (like toddlers) at a few of the events. Had a march gone bad that could have been tragic, but obviously that situation could be tragic for anyone under the right (wrong) circumstances. I do think that it's important for children to see democracy (if we can call it that anymore) at work and marches like we had last weekend would be, in my opinion, educational and hopeflly inspiring.

Regarding the outfits portraying various body parts... frankly some of them were so far-fetched I'm not sure how a reasonable conversation could even be had with a child who didn't already know what was going on anyway. I do have to say though -- damn some of those people were creative!

OK, back to my giant spreadsheet. God bless wrapping-up-the-prior-year projects...

DeeJay, obviously what should have happened was a more literal/obvious getup. A simple tee shirt with "Vagina" on it really would have sufficed. (I am just recalling your "Ax Murderer" shirt.

LOL -- I still have that Ax Murderer shirt! The CB and I also ordered some other T-shirts in keeping with the current state of affairs the other night. He actually suggested it as he's as put out as I am bout things. We'll be sporting our new attire at every opportunity! Perhaps once they arrive photos will be in order.

 

[Dee*Jay]

I've been rather MIA due to a big project for the past few days, but Tacori (and Erica and anyone else that I'm failing to include here), I wanted to clarify something I said earlier this thread to make it understood I was not judging anyone's mothering decisions. I have no children (other that The Demon and Oscar) and I am completely unqualified to evaluate the way anyone chooses to raise their child. I did make comments about being worried about the safety of children (and dogs) at the marches, and I was thinking of specific photos I had seen of VERY small children (like toddlers) at a few of the events. Had a march gone bad that could have been tragic, but obviously that situation could be tragic for anyone under the right (wrong) circumstances. I do think that it's important for children to see democracy (if we can call it that anymore) at work and marches like we had last weekend would be, in my opinion, educational and hopeflly inspiring.

Regarding the outfits portraying various body parts... frankly some of them were so far-fetched I'm not sure how a reasonable conversation could even be had with a child who didn't already know what was going on anyway. I do have to say though -- damn some of those people were creative!

OK, back to my giant spreadsheet. God bless wrapping-up-the-prior-year projects...

Definitely didn't take your posts that way, Dee! You rock

Oh good! I was afraid my comments were taken the wrong way and believe you me, that is not what I intended, especially knowing some of the fine mothers on PS personally.

And right back at ya LD!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Dee*Jay, I was not offended. I appreciate the clarification!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Dee*Jay, I was not offended. I appreciate the clarification!

Much love to you and T, as always!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Dee*Jay, I was not offended. I appreciate the clarification!

Much love to you and T, as always!

You are the sweetest! I still think it would have been a great experience for her. Next time.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Ruby - I don't know you other than on here (or I would send this privately), and we seem to generally see some things eye to eye. I have no negative feelings toward you or anyone on PS, so please know that I am coming from an objective vs aggressive perspective.

You clearly have care & concern for the wellbeing of others, especially children; that is clear. I believe the others in this thread have heard you, and I'm not saying they are right and you're wrong, or vice versa. I do feel like you have made your point (or at least, I understand it) and those who wish to consider it have due opportunity to do so. I totally get your concern around safety at events like this, especially after seeing so many others with violent outcomes. I do think, however, that it's a dead horse at this point. The march is over, thankfully it was peaceful, and even I said earlier that the organization of this event (aside from Madonna's presence) should be noted by others who attempt to exercise their rights to be 'heard' in a peaceful, organized and safe manner ... and I don't even care for demonstrations.

You're obviously free to keep posting; that's your choice. I am merely offering the observation that I don't know how receptive anyone might be at this point, given the defensive tone on everyone's part to what is clearly a matter close to heart for all. It's my experience that when personal attacks - perceived or real - start, it's usually a sign the discussion is no longer productive; and it's time to rethink if I want to contribute toward the demise or walk away. The choice is yours.

What I would find productive - be it in this thread or a separate one - is better understanding from those who participated how the organization of the event was executed to allow for it to have come off so well.

$0.02,
JCJ

 

[ruby59]

Ruby - I don't know you other than on here (or I would send this privately), and we seem to generally see some things eye to eye. I have no negative feelings toward you or anyone on PS, so please know that I am coming from an objective vs aggressive perspective.

You clearly have care & concern for the wellbeing of others, especially children; that is clear. I believe the others in this thread have heard you, and I'm not saying they are right and you're wrong, or vice versa. I do feel like you have made your point (or at least, I understand it) and those who wish to consider it have due opportunity to do so. I totally get your concern around safety at events like this, especially after seeing so many others with violent outcomes. I do think, however, that it's a dead horse at this point. The march is over, thankfully it was peaceful, and even I said earlier that the organization of this event (aside from Madonna's presence) should be noted by others who attempt to exercise their rights to be 'heard' in a peaceful, organized and safe manner ... and I don't even care for demonstrations.

You're obviously free to keep posting; that's your choice. I am merely offering the observation that I don't know how receptive anyone might be at this point, given the defensive tone on everyone's part to what is clearly a matter close to heart for all. It's my experience that when personal attacks - perceived or real - start, it's usually a sign the discussion is no longer productive; and it's time to rethink if I want to contribute toward the demise or walk away. The choice is yours.

What I would find productive - be it in this thread or a separate one - is better understanding from those who participated how the organization of the event was executed to allow for it to have come off so well.

$0.02,


Jenn, go back to page 8. I was minding my own business until a poster decided she would try to analyze me.

I asked her to stop - twice - and she just continued post after post to keep it going.
JCJ

 

[telephone89]

"I have decided to read your posts with a different lens. One of compassion instead of irritation. I am reminded of the saying, "if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." I really hope you are okay."

"You deserve my concern, not my judgement."

THIS is what you consider harassment, but you insult liberals and call them cry babies? What the actual f?

 

[ericad]

I also didn't see any vag costumes. But for anyone who is worried their child might have missed out, maybe they could just google up some pictures of the new FLOTUS's?

ETA: not that I care about her pictures, but I do think pearl clutching over some extremely non-sexual vagina costumes is a bit rich, considering.

I wasn't "pearl clutching" over the vagina costumes. My posts were about how it's hard to take someone in a vagina costume seriously, which meant that the march lost some credibility/some respect in my opinion. If we know the media picks up on those sorts of things and sensationalizes them, why would you want that to potentially be the focus of the march?' I've seen those images on social media with people poking fun and I think that's kind of sad (even though I wasn't interested in marching). If people were cool with the vag costumes, great. I'm not judging - I just didn't think they were necessary.

Lololol the only ones making the 5 vagina costumes the "focus of the march" are conservatives. Telling, no?

erica - that was exactly my point..... I wasn't saying that the costumes were the focus of the march, so I think you misunderstood my post.
I was saying that if you DON'T want it to become the focus of the march, then don't give the media (and/or social media) something goofy like that to grab on to. I know what the focus of the march was and from what I understand, the vag costumes were just something fun worn by a handful of women. I wasn't making a big deal out of them - I just think the march would have been better off without them.

Oh I know, I think we both agree that it was a minimal aspect of the marches. But I'm not seeing CNN or MSNBC covering the vagina costumes, they were barely present. I think people or outlets saw a couple obscure pics and latched into it as being some kind of representation of the women. The truth is that I didn't see a single one in 175k marchers, so it's really irrelevant. There will always be some who push the envelope but aren't representative of the majority.

 

[ericad]

I've been rather MIA due to a big project for the past few days, but Tacori (and Erica and anyone else that I'm failing to include here), I wanted to clarify something I said earlier this thread to make it understood I was not judging anyone's mothering decisions. I have no children (other that The Demon and Oscar) and I am completely unqualified to evaluate the way anyone chooses to raise their child. I did make comments about being worried about the safety of children (and dogs) at the marches, and I was thinking of specific photos I had seen of VERY small children (like toddlers) at a few of the events. Had a march gone bad that could have been tragic, but obviously that situation could be tragic for anyone under the right (wrong) circumstances. I do think that it's important for children to see democracy (if we can call it that anymore) at work and marches like we had last weekend would be, in my opinion, educational and hopeflly inspiring.

Regarding the outfits portraying various body parts... frankly some of them were so far-fetched I'm not sure how a reasonable conversation could even be had with a child who didn't already know what was going on anyway. I do have to say though -- damn some of those people were creative!

OK, back to my giant spreadsheet. God bless wrapping-up-the-prior-year projects...

Not at all! I always said it's a calculated risk - beyond that the choice is in the hands of the parents. It warmed my cockles to see the kids there and I regretted not bringing mine. But my husband and I did talk through the risks, as did, I'm sure, every family. There's a difference between saying once or twice, "hmmm gosh all those kids, I bet that gave people pause, deciding whether to expose their kids to any possible risk or expose them to adult ideas" and what another poster did. I now only hear dolphin noises when she posts, which is peaceful for me.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Jenn, go back to page 8. I was minding my own business until a poster decided she would try to analyze me.

I asked her to stop - twice - and she just continued post after post to keep it going.

I saw the posts, and I'm not suggesting you aren't justified feeling how you do. I don't want to see anyone feel bad or be put in timeout because of a difference of opinions exchanged on an Internet forum; we come here to decompress, not blow up. I know it's tense & frustrating at times, but only you can allow someone to live rent free in your head.

Also, I don't want to see this thread - which was a celebration of the March by participants - get closed. I would hate to have that happen to something I otherwise found uplifting. I have tried to be more sensitive to sending threads off topic by taking my related but separate discussion to a new thread for everyone's ease of reading; perhaps capture the part of this discussion you want to focus on, and create a new thread about that.

I don't mean to come across as telling you what to do; just sharing my perspective as a neutral party. You certainly are free to keep posting; it's your choice.

 

[lovedogs]

Jenn, go back to page 8. I was minding my own business until a poster decided she would try to analyze me.

I asked her to stop - twice - and she just continued post after post to keep it going.

I saw the posts, and I'm not suggesting you aren't justified feeling how you do. I don't want to see anyone feel bad or be put in timeout because of a difference of opinions exchanged on an Internet forum; we come here to decompress, not blow up. I know it's tense & frustrating at times, but only you can allow someone to live rent free in your head.

Also, I don't want to see this thread - which was a celebration of the March by participants - get closed. I would hate to have that happen to something I otherwise found uplifting. I have tried to be more sensitive to sending threads off topic by taking my related but separate discussion to a new thread for everyone's ease of reading; perhaps capture the part of this discussion you want to focus on, and create a new thread about that.

I don't mean to come across as telling you what to do; just sharing my perspective as a neutral party. You certainly are free to keep posting; it's your choice.

The bolded was one of the most helpful things I've been told by friends/therapists. Trauma aside (of course), things like forums shouldn't cause people long-term distress.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

"I have decided to read your posts with a different lens. One of compassion instead of irritation. I am reminded of the saying, "if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." I really hope you are okay."

"You deserve my concern, not my judgement."

THIS is what you consider harassment, but you insult liberals and call them cry babies? What the actual f?

Only someone in a lot of pain would mistake support for harassment.

 

[nala]

Ruby, I just want to say that although we don't agree on many political issues, I respect that you are direct and do not change your opionions, like certain other posters, to please other people. There are some posters who backpeddle, clarify that they were misunderstood, go out of their way to play both sides of the fence ( when clearly they are only on the other side), but you never ever do any of that! I totally respect you for being true to your principles. I. I may not agree with them, but I admire that you are courageous enough to keep posting them when you know others willl disagree. And I too would be pissed if someone tried to psychoanalyze me, based on my online persona. I probably would respond as you did, but then I'd blow it off Bc you are right, no one knows every facet of you. Thank you for bringing diversity to this forum!

 

[KimberlyH]

I marched in San Diego where the crowd was estimated to be 30,000-40,000 the last I heard. My husband and I brought our six year old daughter and our three year old son -- an aside, they both know and use the word vagina appropriately. She carried a sign that read "Don't destroy my generation's opportunity for education" and my son carried a sign that said "Misogyny" with a read line through it; we told him it means some people treat girls poorly and think they're not as important as boys; he told me that's dumb. He is my outgoing kid; he spent most of our time at the march making friends with people around us; at one point he grabbed on to a stranger's leg; she teased him and he hugged her again and pronounced that he loved her. We met up with a friend and three of her children; my daughter hung out with them, visiting, holding hands and chanting "Women's Rights Are Human Rights." I didn't question or worry a single thing they were exposed to was harmful.

Anyone who thinks I put them in danger, well, that assumption is beyond ridiculous. I will do everything in my power to teach my children about equality and the ability they have to use their voices to stand up for what is right. I'm far more worried that there are parents who are teaching their children that Trump deserves respect than my kids being in a crowd of people fighting for fair treatment of all people.

 

[momhappy]

Ruby, I just want to say that although we don't agree on many political issues, I respect that you are direct and do not change your opionions, like certain other posters, to please other people. There are some posters who backpeddle, clarify that they were misunderstood, go out of their way to play both sides of the fence ( when clearly they are only on the other side), but you never ever do any of that! I totally respect you for being true to your principles. I. I may not agree with them, but I admire that you are courageous enough to keep posting them when you know others willl disagree. And I too would be pissed if someone tried to psychoanalyze me, based on my online persona. I probably would respond as you did, but then I'd blow it off Bc you are right, no one knows every facet of you. Thank you for bringing diversity to this forum!

Good post, nala
I don't think it's fair to claim to know someone (in depth). I understand that people may have had good intentions (at least I would hope so....), but I don't think it's fair to post assumptions (or psychoanalysis) about other members.
I may not agree with everything Ruby says either, but I always enjoy a dialogue on both sides of the spectrum.

 

[momhappy]

I also didn't see any vag costumes. But for anyone who is worried their child might have missed out, maybe they could just google up some pictures of the new FLOTUS's?

ETA: not that I care about her pictures, but I do think pearl clutching over some extremely non-sexual vagina costumes is a bit rich, considering.

I wasn't "pearl clutching" over the vagina costumes. My posts were about how it's hard to take someone in a vagina costume seriously, which meant that the march lost some credibility/some respect in my opinion. If we know the media picks up on those sorts of things and sensationalizes them, why would you want that to potentially be the focus of the march?' I've seen those images on social media with people poking fun and I think that's kind of sad (even though I wasn't interested in marching). If people were cool with the vag costumes, great. I'm not judging - I just didn't think they were necessary.

Lololol the only ones making the 5 vagina costumes the "focus of the march" are conservatives. Telling, no?

erica - that was exactly my point..... I wasn't saying that the costumes were the focus of the march, so I think you misunderstood my post.
I was saying that if you DON'T want it to become the focus of the march, then don't give the media (and/or social media) something goofy like that to grab on to. I know what the focus of the march was and from what I understand, the vag costumes were just something fun worn by a handful of women. I wasn't making a big deal out of them - I just think the march would have been better off without them.

Oh I know, I think we both agree that it was a minimal aspect of the marches. But I'm not seeing CNN or MSNBC covering the vagina costumes, they were barely present. I think people or outlets saw a couple obscure pics and latched into it as being some kind of representation of the women. The truth is that I didn't see a single one in 175k marchers, so it's really irrelevant. There will always be some who push the envelope but aren't representative of the majority.

Thanks for your reply Since I didn't march, it's nice to hear some actual reports from those in attendance (as opposed to relying on media coverage).

 

[ruby59]

Thank you, Nala and Mom.

I hope this woman is not a psychologist in real life (I cannot remember who here is) but if she is I wish I knew who she was so I could report her. She would be a serious danger to her patients.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

ruby, I am so glad you have gotten some support. That was the true intentions of my posts. I hope people reaching out have helped you. Under anger is always pain.