When to move on and adopt another to love?

[kgizo]

I'm so sorry, audball. You were so lucky to find each other it's unfortunate you didn't have more time together. It's a blessing that she was part of such a loving family when she passed.

 

[audball]

I'm so sorry, audball. You were so lucky to find each other it's unfortunate you didn't have more time together. It's a blessing that she was part of such a loving family when she passed.

Thank you kgizo. She was a great blessing to us.

 

[madelise]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is never easy. I read your story and I really admire you for adopting a senior dog. She's fortunate to have had such a good home to spend her final year with.

Thanks sortmon. My only regret is that I didn't find her sooner so I could have loved her longer.

No regrets, aud! She was meant to be in your life at the time she came in. I truly believe that.

 

[Smith1942]

In my separation last year, I lost my beloved miniature schnauzer, Molly, to my ex. I was devastated. I still am. I miss her every day and think about her all the time. About a month after we split, I applied with a local breed specific rescue to look for a new friend. I even posted on here for name suggestions. Ultimately I couldn't pull the trigger and didn't feel ready so that adoption didn't go through.

It's been almost a year and my application is still active with the rescue. I know I have the time and resources to love another, but I can't help but feeling like I just want my baby back. And after a year of feeling that way, I really think it's just how it'll always be. I honestly don't think I'll ever be over Molly. But that doesn't mean my heart doesn't have room for another.

When did you know you were ready to get another pet after a loss? There are times I feel like this loss is worse than losing one in death because I know she's out there and that I can't have her. Hell, she lives 5 minutes from me and I'm not allowed to see her.

This is coming up because last night I got a call from the rescue that they have a girl ready for adoption that fit all my criteria. They sent me her information and some pictures and I cried when I read that she shares a birthdate with Molly (September 14th). I don't know if you believe in signs, but someone once told me that when you lose a pet, they send you one when you're ready. Is it a sign? I don't know, but maybe it's time to open up my heart and home and try to love again.

This is about one of the saddest things I have ever read. Audball, I am SO sorry that you're feeling like this. I can't even imagine it.

About Molly, I don't know anything about your separation, but since it's been a year and you're still suffering so much from the loss of her in your life, is there any chance that you could re-negotiate with your ex? Is there nothing you can give him in return that he really wanted but didn't get? More money? Is there nothing you could say? Also, are you above begging? Listen, a couple of times in my life I have outright begged for something, and it worked. Desperate times and all that. Maybe you could write him a letter describing how awful you feel without her and that it's not going away. You just never know; it's harder to take care of a dog when you're single and perhaps he might be more amenable to giving her back a year on...I don't know. But if you fight for her with all you've got, and you lose, maybe the fighting will heal something. Maybe it'll provide some kind of closure, knowing you did everything you could.

I think if I knew my ex was THAT miserable, I might have to give her back.

About another dog, I don't know what to say. On the one hand, you don't seem ready because you're so upset about Molly, and a year isn't that long. On the other hand, if you can't get Molly back, perhaps another dog is what you need. But the question you have to ask yourself is, the rescue dog has already been rejected, so you have to be honest about whether there's room in your heart for another dog right now. Only you know the answer to that.

Oh, Audball. Here's a cyberhug. (((((Audball)))))

MASSIVE ETA: As so often recently, I didn't realise that an old thread had been revived. I apologise - I only read the first page. I now realise that you did go ahead and get that rescue dog, and now she's died. I am SO sorry. I don't know what to say.

So....you could and did love another dog. At least there's that. And how wonderful to have given a loving, caring last year to a rescue animal. I am sure that a special part of heaven awaits people like you.

 

[audball]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is never easy. I read your story and I really admire you for adopting a senior dog. She's fortunate to have had such a good home to spend her final year with.

Thanks sortmon. My only regret is that I didn't find her sooner so I could have loved her longer.

No regrets, aud! She was meant to be in your life at the time she came in. I truly believe that.

Thanks madelise. <3

 

[audball]

This is about one of the saddest things I have ever read. Audball, I am SO sorry that you're feeling like this. I can't even imagine it.

About Molly, I don't know anything about your separation, but since it's been a year and you're still suffering so much from the loss of her in your life, is there any chance that you could re-negotiate with your ex? Is there nothing you can give him in return that he really wanted but didn't get? More money? Is there nothing you could say? Also, are you above begging? Listen, a couple of times in my life I have outright begged for something, and it worked. Desperate times and all that. Maybe you could write him a letter describing how awful you feel without her and that it's not going away. You just never know; it's harder to take care of a dog when you're single and perhaps he might be more amenable to giving her back a year on...I don't know. But if you fight for her with all you've got, and you lose, maybe the fighting will heal something. Maybe it'll provide some kind of closure, knowing you did everything you could.

I think if I knew my ex was THAT miserable, I might have to give her back.

About another dog, I don't know what to say. On the one hand, you don't seem ready because you're so upset about Molly, and a year isn't that long. On the other hand, if you can't get Molly back, perhaps another dog is what you need. But the question you have to ask yourself is, the rescue dog has already been rejected, so you have to be honest about whether there's room in your heart for another dog right now. Only you know the answer to that.

Oh, Audball. Here's a cyberhug. (((((Audball)))))

MASSIVE ETA: As so often recently, I didn't realise that an old thread had been revived. I apologise - I only read the first page. I now realise that you did go ahead and get that rescue dog, and now she's died. I am SO sorry. I don't know what to say.

So....you could and did love another dog. At least there's that. And how wonderful to have given a loving, caring last year to a rescue animal. I am sure that a special part of heaven awaits people like you.

Hi Smith. Thanks. Indeed the thread is old and Molly has been living with my ex for two years (today, actually). It was really hard then. But now, knowing what it's like to truly lose a pet, losing ownership of her to someone else doesn't even hold a candle to what I'm feeling now. I *know* Molly is safe and being cared for, even if not by me. And yes, I miss her antics and special Molly things, but in the end, Mimi was the schnauzer that truly won a huge chunk of my heart.

After I lost Molly to the ex, I honestly never thought I could love another dog again or as much. Boy, was I wrong. Mimi needed us. And we needed her. I haven't spoken to my ex since a few weeks after we broke up (so nearly 2 years), but we still have mutual friends and I know Molly is doing just fine. And really, when it came to the split and it had to be one pet going with each of us, I never in a million years could have given up my cat, Darwin. I adopted him LONG before the ex came into the picture. I was just telling my fiance this week that Darwin has been with me through SEVEN moves (and loved each and every box, for each and every one!), 2 hard breakups that were long-term, and live-in, and that I've had him approaching a DECADE of my life. He's my baby. I can't even imagine what it will feel like when his time comes. Hopefully MANY MANY MANY years from now.

Thanks for the condolences for my Mimi. She was such a beautiful soul and I will never forget her, ever. An inspirational post popped up in my pinterest feed that was just perfect the day that she passed and it's been on my mind ever since. A quote from Winnie the Pooh (which was totally my favorite growing up), "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." And she is. She is with me, always.

 

[audball]

Today marks one week since she has passed. It still feels surreal. Like she's just been boarded or something and will be back from vacation soon.

Any advice from those who've lost pets as to what to do with their things? We haven't been able to face that, yet. The house is still scattered with her favorite toys. "Her" (self-claimed, mind you! ha) blanket in a rumpled pile next to my seat on the couch, exactly where she left it.Her leash, collar, and name tag. Her food bowls. Her puffy winter coat and sweater.

I'm not sure I can get rid of them. But I know it's probably not mentally healthy for us to leave them all just lying about.

At this point, we do not foresee adopting another dog anytime soon. That may change, in the future, of course, but for now it's not something I an even think about. It took me a year to feel almost ready after losing Molly which wasn't even the same kind of loss. And even if we were to end up with another sooner than we think, I don't know if I'd want to "share" Mimi's things with the new dog.

We're thinking we may just get a nice sized box and put all her things away and stick them in the closet, for now. That way they're out of sight and not such a constant in our face reminder that she isn't here, but they're not gone. That way we can make a better decision when we're feeling more able to do so (whether that be re-purpose to another dog of ours, or someone else's, donate, or just to keep.)

 

[AGBF]

Any advice from those who've lost pets as to what to do with their things? We haven't been able to face that, yet. The house is still scattered with her favorite toys. "Her" (self-claimed, mind you! ha) blanket in a rumpled pile next to my seat on the couch, exactly where she left it.Her leash, collar, and name tag. Her food bowls. Her puffy winter coat and sweater.

I'm not sure I can get rid of them. But I know it's probably not mentally healthy for us to leave them all just lying about.

At this point, we do not foresee adopting another dog anytime soon. That may change, in the future, of course, but for now it's not something I an even think about. It took me a year to feel almost ready after losing Molly which wasn't even the same kind of loss. And even if we were to end up with another sooner than we think, I don't know if I'd want to "share" Mimi's things with the new dog.

We're thinking we may just get a nice sized box and put all her things away and stick them in the closet, for now. That way they're out of sight and not such a constant in our face reminder that she isn't here, but they're not gone. That way we can make a better decision when we're feeling more able to do so (whether that be re-purpose to another dog of ours, or someone else's, donate, or just to keep.)

I couldn't get rid of all of Biscuit's toys after his death (in 200. I kept one in the bottom drawer of my nightstand, in fact. Now my nightstand is in the house I used to live in (in Virginia) and I am in Connecticut, but I never threw out the toy, so I assume that it is still there. I think I could bear to part with it now-5 years later-but I needed it for a while.

I got rid of all of Biscuit's other things, giving them to other dogs. I didn't want constant reminders of him. I also didn't want another dog for a while. I couldn't even contemplate getting another one. When I did, it was because my daughter wanted one.

As you know...having had Molly and Mimi...the heart has infinite capacity to expand and love.

I send you, Andrew, and Mimi prayers and good wishes.

Love,
Deb

 

[audball]

I couldn't get rid of all of Biscuit's toys after his death (in 200. I kept one in the bottom drawer of my nightstand, in fact. Now my nightstand is in the house I used to live in (in Virginia) and I am in Connecticut, but I never threw out the toy, so I assume that it is still there. I think I could bear to part with it now-5 years later-but I needed it for a while.

I got rid of all of Biscuit's other things, giving them to other dogs. I didn't want constant reminders of him. I also didn't want another dog for a while. I couldn't even contemplate getting another one. When I did, it was because my daughter wanted one.

As you know...having had Molly and Mimi...the heart has infinite capacity to expand and love.

I send you, Andrew, and Mimi prayers and good wishes.

Love,
Deb

Thanks Deb. I think we may want to keep them, at least for now. Like you said, with time I may feel more okay with sharing them with another or donating them to another dog who will use and enjoy them. But right now it feels like I need them. I know we can't just keep them all in their "normal" places though and see them all the time. It's hard to come home and see toys and not Mimi.

I think we'll go get a nice box by this weekend and pack all her things up into it, store it in the closet for now. We can make a real decision about what to do with them down the road.

 

[movie zombie]

box them up and keep them until such time as you're able to "deal" with making decisions.
I still have the collar of my very first dog, Prince. that was 60 years ago.......
another doggie may find you.......and you may want to share Mimi's things with that doggie.
if not, you can keep her things in a box and know they are there should you need to touch them.
don't get rid of anything yet.

 

[audball]

box them up and keep them until such time as you're able to "deal" with making decisions.
I still have the collar of my very first dog, Prince. that was 60 years ago.......
another doggie may find you.......and you may want to share Mimi's things with that doggie.
if not, you can keep her things in a box and know they are there should you need to touch them.
don't get rid of anything yet.

Thanks MZ. I think this is the only solution for us right now.

 

[Clairitek]

box them up and keep them until such time as you're able to "deal" with making decisions.
I still have the collar of my very first dog, Prince. that was 60 years ago.......
another doggie may find you.......and you may want to share Mimi's things with that doggie.
if not, you can keep her things in a box and know they are there should you need to touch them.
don't get rid of anything yet.

Thanks MZ. I think this is the only solution for us right now.

Perhaps it's a bit morbid but I still have the collar of the first pet that was truly mine and she passed away 10 years ago this summer. I know my mother has the collar and tags of all of her past dogs as well. A little Mimi box will likely live on in your closet for decades.

I'm so sorry for your loss Audball. It is truly heartbreaking and even 10 years later I am still stunned at the lump in my throat when I think about losing my dog Lily so suddenly. I'm glad you and A have each other to lean on through this tough time.

 

[audball]

Perhaps it's a bit morbid but I still have the collar of the first pet that was truly mine and she passed away 10 years ago this summer. I know my mother has the collar and tags of all of her past dogs as well. A little Mimi box will likely live on in your closet for decades.

I'm so sorry for your loss Audball. It is truly heartbreaking and even 10 years later I am still stunned at the lump in my throat when I think about losing my dog Lily so suddenly. I'm glad you and A have each other to lean on through this tough time.

I don't think it's morbid at all. It's crazy how attached you get to these furbabies. I've seriously cried a million times more over the loss of my Mimi than when my grandfather passed a year and a half ago. I think you're right, we may always have that Mimi box.

We're in a rental now. We actually talked about saving the box of her things until we buy a house and then burying it in our backyard as a way of always having her with us. I know many people opt to bury their pets in their yards, which we don't have the option to do right now.

I've actually been feeling completely awful about our decision at the vet to cremate her and not get the ashes back. On the spot, there at the vet, I thought it would be weird and just wanted them to stop talking. They were having us make decisions while I was still holding her before she'd even been put down. I just wanted them to stop talking.

But in the last several days now that she's gone, I wish we'd been able to process it more. It definitely doesn't feel weird, now, to have wanted her cremated and returned to us. I've been beating myself up about it. I lost it the other night thinking about her being cremated with a bunch of other unwanted dogs. She wasn't unwanted. She was loved. Very much. And I couldn't help but think we made the totally wrong call and that she didn't deserve that sort of treatment. Obviously we cannot change it now and that makes it worse. I wish we'd just erred on the side of caution and done it. Worst case, we thought it was weird after the idea had settled, we could scattered her ashes along the trail of her favorite walk, or saved them to eventually bury in our future backyard.

I think we're going to make some sort of Christmas tree ornament out of her name tag and rainbow bow that we kept on her harness.

Andrew has been incredibly strong and supportive, but he loses it time to time as well. We're getting about just talking about all the funny and happy things she used to do instead of dwelling on the day it all went wrong. It helps to watch videos of her playing and laugh at her antics. We just miss her so much.

ETA: And thank you, Clairitek, for your sweet post. I'm too, am sorry about the sudden loss of your Lily, even if it was 10 years ago. It just goes to show that they really never do leave you.

 

[yennyfire]

Oh audball, my heart is breaking for you right now. Losing a beloved pet is probably one of the worst things I can imagine. Try to remember that you made the last year of her life happy by loving her so much. I'm so very sorry.

Fwiw, I have my first dog's favorite toy and will take it out to hold sometimes. My kids have heard so many "Spryte" stories, I hear them telling their friends and she passed before they were born!! She will live on in your memory forever...

 

[audball]

Oh audball, my heart is breaking for you right now. Losing a beloved pet is probably one of the worst things I can imagine. Try to remember that you made the last year of her life happy by loving her so much. I'm so very sorry.

Fwiw, I have my first dog's favorite toy and will take it out to hold sometimes. My kids have heard so many "Spryte" stories, I hear them telling their friends and she passed before they were born!! She will live on in your memory forever...

Thank you yenny.

 

[AGBF]

I've actually been feeling completely awful about our decision at the vet to cremate her and not get the ashes back.

But in the last several days now that she's gone, I wish we'd been able to process it more. It definitely doesn't feel weird, now, to have wanted her cremated and returned to us. I've been beating myself up about it. I lost it the other night thinking about her being cremated with a bunch of other unwanted dogs. She wasn't unwanted. She was loved. Very much.

Please try to let this go, audball. I adored Biscuit, but had him cremated and did not have the ashes returned to us. Holding on to his mortal remains was not proof of my love. When he had to be euthanized, I stayed strong and showed only joy in his presence. He always loved to go to the vet's because he was a very sociable creature. His last visit was a very pleasant one for him since he never minded minor pain like getting stuck with a needle. (Heck, after major surgery he jumped up and walked around!)

On his last visit to the vet, he had a dish of water; all kinds of treats I brought from home; and a lot of chocolate. I banished my (crying) husband because I refused to let Biscuit see any sadness, but when the vet (who was a gentle darling) saw him looking around for my husband, she brought him back in, saying he wanted his pack around him. I played with him; petted him; fed him; and made him think all was happy and well right up until the vet gave him a shot that gently put him to sleep (not to death). After he had a nice sleep...while he was asleep...and when we were all ready...she gave him a shot to stop his heart. It was peaceful as can be.

The decision not to keep his ashes didn't mean I didn't adore him. Try to think of Mimi's ashes as being with Biscuit's...in a place where the ashes of many beloved pets' ashes are together.

I couldn't bear to face all of Biscuit's belongings, but like so many other posters, I needed a toy to handle. I understand why you want a box of Mimi's things to keep her close. These are all just variations on the same theme of love. You are going to suffer; you have to go through the pain. You do not, however, have to feel guilty. The property on which all our family's pets is buried has now been sold. It belonged to my great-grandparents. Nothing material is forever, but love is.

Major hugs,
Deb

 

[audball]

Please try to let this go, audball. I adored Biscuit, but had him cremated and did not have the ashes returned to us. Holding on to his mortal remains was not proof of my love. When he had to be euthanized, I stayed strong and showed only joy in his presence. He always loved to go to the vet's because he was a very sociable creature. His last visit was a very pleasant one for him since he never minded minor pain like getting stuck with a needle. (Heck, after major surgery he jumped up and walked around!)

On his last visit to the vet, he had a dish of water; all kinds of treats I brought from home; and a lot of chocolate. I banished my (crying) husband because I refused to let Biscuit see any sadness, but when the vet (who was a gentle darling) saw him looking around for my husband, she brought him back in, saying he wanted his pack around him. I played with him; petted him; fed him; and made him think all was happy and well right up until the vet gave him a shot that gently put him to sleep (not to death). After he had a nice sleep...while he was asleep...and when we were all ready...she gave him a shot to stop his heart. It was peaceful as can be.

The decision not to keep his ashes didn't mean I didn't adore him. Try to think of Mimi's ashes as being with Biscuit's...in a place where the ashes of many beloved pets' ashes are together.

I couldn't bear to face all of Biscuit's belongings, but like so many other posters, I needed a toy to handle. I understand why you want a box of Mimi's things to keep her close. These are all just variations on the same theme of love. You are going to suffer; you have to go through the pain. You do not, however, have to feel guilty. The property on which all our family's pets is buried has now been sold. It belonged to my great-grandparents. Nothing material is forever, but love is.

Major hugs,
Deb

Thank you, again Deb for your sweet words. I am trying to let it go. Getting it out and telling Andrew what I was feeling helped. I'm trying to tell myself (which I wholeheartedly believe is true) that it was just her mortal body, and was in no way my Mimi. My Mimi was gone from that body and is forever living in our hearts.

I only wish we could have known that visit would be the last one. We didn't know what was happening and had no idea it would come to that. We would have fed her all kinds of deliciousness and played with her, brought some of her familiar things like her very own blanket and favorite toy. We had no time to be prepared. We were both a sobbing mess the whole time, but I never once took my eyes off of her. I held her head in my hands the whole time and never broke our gaze. I held her eye contact until the very end constantly telling her how beautiful she was, how much we loved her, and that everything was okay.

Thank you for reminding me that it is okay. That it will be okay. And that our choice of burial does not change how much we loved her.

 

[tammy77]

Aud, I'm sitting here bawling like a baby after reading your last post. Please, please don't beat yourself up over not bringing her remains home with you. You gave her the most important gift of all - your love until her last breath. Her soul will be with you always, that's the important part. I'm not nearly as eloquent as previous posters, I just had to try to say something. I wish I could ease your pain somehow. Big, huge hugs.

 

[audball]

Aud, I'm sitting here bawling like a baby after reading your last post. Please, please don't beat yourself up over not bringing her remains home with you. You gave her the most important gift of all - your love until her last breath. Her soul will be with you always, that's the important part. I'm not nearly as eloquent as previous posters, I just had to try to say something. I wish I could ease your pain somehow. Big, huge hugs.

Thank you, tammy. Deep down, I know that is true and I will get to the point of acceptance. You, and everyone's sweet words have been very helpful and comforting.

 

[Autumnovember]

Oh audball, I'm so, so sorry

I hope you are able to find some peace and comfort in your heart - it will come with time.

I read this story the other day, its about why dogs live short lives according to a 6 year old:

"Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”

The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.” "




She's still with you!

 

[audball]

Thank you AN. I have read that before and it makes me cry every time. It really is so very true.

 

[bling addict]

Dear Audball,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, but have no doubt she will always have a place in your heart, and your and her lives were better for having found each other. I agree with what people have said about boxing her things up until you are in a better position to deal with it.

I also wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I read it when you started it as around that time was four years after we lost a miniature schnauzer who was a beloved family member who we'd got when I was a teenager. When she passed I'd long moved out, but her passing was heart breaking to the whole family. We didn't get another pet, and although my parents are retired and have a lot of time to share with a pet, didn't think they could handle losing another pet one day if they were to get another dog.

This thread and your journey with mimi made me think one day we'd be able to get another dog when the time was right, and everyone''s sentiments in this thread reminded me to remember the love and joy our last dog brought to our lives, rather than focus on the heart break of losing her.

Last month I got my parents another miniature schnauzer (with their agreement, we didn't surprise them) and she has brought so much love and joy to their lives, all of our lives really, and she is very loved by all of us. So I thought I'd let you know that your thread and story of your journey with mimi has helped us and I am very thankful for it.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling now.

 

[audball]

Dear Audball,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, but have no doubt she will always have a place in your heart, and your and her lives were better for having found each other. I agree with what people have said about boxing her things up until you are in a better position to deal with it.

I also wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I read it when you started it as around that time was four years after we lost a miniature schnauzer who was a beloved family member who we'd got when I was a teenager. When she passed I'd long moved out, but her passing was heart breaking to the whole family. We didn't get another pet, and although my parents are retired and have a lot of time to share with a pet, didn't think they could handle losing another pet one day if they were to get another dog.

This thread and your journey with mimi made me think one day we'd be able to get another dog when the time was right, and everyone''s sentiments in this thread reminded me to remember the love and joy our last dog brought to our lives, rather than focus on the heart break of losing her.

Last month I got my parents another miniature schnauzer (with their agreement, we didn't surprise them) and she has brought so much love and joy to their lives, all of our lives really, and she is very loved by all of us. So I thought I'd let you know that your thread and story of your journey with mimi has helped us and I am very thankful for it.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling now.

OH, blig addict! I'm so glad that this thread inspired your family to bring another bearded angel into your family. Schnauzers are truly amazing creatures.

It is true -- that while losing a whole chunk of your heart when the pass, it doesn't even remotely compare to the daily joy, laughter, and love they bring to your lives. I'm so glad you have welcomed another into your family.

We are not yet ready to talk about doing so ourselves, but I know at some point we will add another furry friend to our household. Whether it'll be a schnauzer, or a dog at all, maybe another cat, we will make room in our hearts to love and save another. They are so worth it.

 

[NOYFB]

I'm so sorry to hear about Mimi. You gave her a wonderful, loving life and she was blessed to be able to share her last year with you and Andrew. I know how painful it is, having just dealt with this 6 months ago, but I can assure you that it does get easier, with time. The guilt you are feeling about the ashes and the feelings you have about her toy are completely normal. It's all part of the grieving process. I'm sending you huge virtual hugs.

And yes, they ARE worth it!

 

[lulu]

audball, your post made me think of this:


THE LAST WILL & TESTAMENT OF A DOG

Before humans die, they write their last will and Testament, give their home and all the have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I'd ask:

To the poor and lonely stray I'd give: My happy home, my bowl and cozy bed, and all my toys. The lap, which I loved so much, the hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice that spoke my name. I'd will to the sad, ...scared shelter dog, the place I had in my human's loving heart.

So, when I die, don't say "I'll never have another pet, because the loss and pain is more than I can stand." Instead, go find an unloved animal, one whose life has held no joy or hope and give MY place to him. This is the only thing I can give: the love I left behind.

Taken from Eugene O'Neill's Last Will and Testament of a dog.

 

[movie zombie]

audball, your post made me think of this:


THE LAST WILL & TESTAMENT OF A DOG

Before humans die, they write their last will and Testament, give their home and all the have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I'd ask:

To the poor and lonely stray I'd give: My happy home, my bowl and cozy bed, and all my toys. The lap, which I loved so much, the hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice that spoke my name. I'd will to the sad, ...scared shelter dog, the place I had in my human's loving heart.

So, when I die, don't say "I'll never have another pet, because the loss and pain is more than I can stand." Instead, go find an unloved animal, one whose life has held no joy or hope and give MY place to him. This is the only thing I can give: the love I left behind.

Taken from Eugene O'Neill's Last Will and Testament of a dog.

worth repeating and it is so very true.

 

[bling addict]

Dear Audball,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, but have no doubt she will always have a place in your heart, and your and her lives were better for having found each other. I agree with what people have said about boxing her things up until you are in a better position to deal with it.

I also wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I read it when you started it as around that time was four years after we lost a miniature schnauzer who was a beloved family member who we'd got when I was a teenager. When she passed I'd long moved out, but her passing was heart breaking to the whole family. We didn't get another pet, and although my parents are retired and have a lot of time to share with a pet, didn't think they could handle losing another pet one day if they were to get another dog.

This thread and your journey with mimi made me think one day we'd be able to get another dog when the time was right, and everyone''s sentiments in this thread reminded me to remember the love and joy our last dog brought to our lives, rather than focus on the heart break of losing her.

Last month I got my parents another miniature schnauzer (with their agreement, we didn't surprise them) and she has brought so much love and joy to their lives, all of our lives really, and she is very loved by all of us. So I thought I'd let you know that your thread and story of your journey with mimi has helped us and I am very thankful for it.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling now.

OH, blig addict! I'm so glad that this thread inspired your family to bring another bearded angel into your family. Schnauzers are truly amazing creatures.

It is true -- that while losing a whole chunk of your heart when the pass, it doesn't even remotely compare to the daily joy, laughter, and love they bring to your lives. I'm so glad you have welcomed another into your family.

We are not yet ready to talk about doing so ourselves, but I know at some point we will add another furry friend to our household. Whether it'll be a schnauzer, or a dog at all, maybe another cat, we will make room in our hearts to love and save another. They are so worth it.

They are indeed worth it! Lulu's post is a lovely thought too.

 

[audball]

I'm so sorry to hear about Mimi. You gave her a wonderful, loving life and she was blessed to be able to share her last year with you and Andrew. I know how painful it is, having just dealt with this 6 months ago, but I can assure you that it does get easier, with time. The guilt you are feeling about the ashes and the feelings you have about her toy are completely normal. It's all part of the grieving process. I'm sending you huge virtual hugs.

And yes, they ARE worth it!

Thank you LilMisfit. I followed your story and am sorry for your loss as well. It really is so hard. But I have never doubted that they are worth it.

 

[audball]

audball, your post made me think of this:


THE LAST WILL & TESTAMENT OF A DOG

Before humans die, they write their last will and Testament, give their home and all the have to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I'd ask:

To the poor and lonely stray I'd give: My happy home, my bowl and cozy bed, and all my toys. The lap, which I loved so much, the hand that stroked my fur and the sweet voice that spoke my name. I'd will to the sad, ...scared shelter dog, the place I had in my human's loving heart.

So, when I die, don't say "I'll never have another pet, because the loss and pain is more than I can stand." Instead, go find an unloved animal, one whose life has held no joy or hope and give MY place to him. This is the only thing I can give: the love I left behind.

Taken from Eugene O'Neill's Last Will and Testament of a dog.

HI Lulu. Thank you for posting this. It's also something I had read before, but really hits home right now. I know we're not ready, but I also know that someday we will save and love another pet in need.

 

[audball]

They are indeed worth it! Lulu's post is a lovely thought too.

It is. If my Mimi could talk, it's something I could imagine her having said. Most dogs I'm sure would feel that way. Knowing they were once saved and given a chance to be wonderful, loving companions, they'd want to give that to another who has been less fortunate.