When to move on and adopt another to love?

[audball]

In my separation last year, I lost my beloved miniature schnauzer, Molly, to my ex. I was devastated. I still am. I miss her every day and think about her all the time. About a month after we split, I applied with a local breed specific rescue to look for a new friend. I even posted on here for name suggestions. Ultimately I couldn't pull the trigger and didn't feel ready so that adoption didn't go through.

It's been almost a year and my application is still active with the rescue. I know I have the time and resources to love another, but I can't help but feeling like I just want my baby back. And after a year of feeling that way, I really think it's just how it'll always be. I honestly don't think I'll ever be over Molly. But that doesn't mean my heart doesn't have room for another.

When did you know you were ready to get another pet after a loss? There are times I feel like this loss is worse than losing one in death because I know she's out there and that I can't have her. Hell, she lives 5 minutes from me and I'm not allowed to see her.

This is coming up because last night I got a call from the rescue that they have a girl ready for adoption that fit all my criteria. They sent me her information and some pictures and I cried when I read that she shares a birthdate with Molly (September 14th). I don't know if you believe in signs, but someone once told me that when you lose a pet, they send you one when you're ready. Is it a sign? I don't know, but maybe it's time to open up my heart and home and try to love again.

 

[rubybeth]

Oh, I remember you having to give up your dog as a concession to make the separation work, I'm so sorry about that.

Is there any way you could meet the dog in question before committing to taking her in? I think meeting the animal will help you decide for sure. If that isn't possible, I think you'll want to examine your motives for wanting her. I don't think you can 'replace' Molly, but I think you are right that your heart can expand to love another.

 

[tammy77]

I'm so sorry that your heart still hurts for Molly! I know you are looking to rescue, but personally I would probably opt for a younger pup if you raised Molly from a baby. Rescues are fantastic and as I type this out I am apprehensive about sharing my opinion because I might be flamed, but I really do think that would be the best way for you to go if you have the time and desire to raise a pup. I would SO love to have a puppy...don't tell my DH, or my cats!

 

[audball]

Oh, I remember you having to give up your dog as a concession to make the separation work, I'm so sorry about that.

Is there any way you could meet the dog in question before committing to taking her in? I think meeting the animal will help you decide for sure. If that isn't possible, I think you'll want to examine your motives for wanting her. I don't think you can 'replace' Molly, but I think you are right that your heart can expand to love another.

Yeah, me too. I'd like to meet her first, but it may not be the most economical. The rescue I'm going through covers the SE USA and covers 6 states. I'm in central Florida and this particular dog is being fostered in central Alabama. She checks all the boxes for what I am looking for in a new dog, and more importantly while she is still a schnauzer, she doesn't look like Molly. This dog is a different coloring than Molly and has cropped ears whereas Molly's were natural. I don't think I could handle the new dog looking to much like her, it would be painful. Her foster Mom said I am more than welcome to come and spend a whole day hanging out with her, but it's about a 9 hour drive so I'd have to drive up, spend some time with her, spend the night in a hotel, and drive back with her if that's the case. They have a transport option where several of the volunteers will drive her a few hours to get her down here.

Her foster Mom is going to take a video of her playing to send to me so I have more than just pictures to go by. I will never be able to replace Molly in a million years and accepting that took me awhile, but it's true. She is irreplaceable. But some of the things I inherently loved about her, are schnauzer characteristics and not just Molly characteristics so I know I want another schnauzer. I researched forever before deciding on a breed and I loved every second of owning Molly.

I do want another dog. I miss having one here, the needs me, that wants me that way. I kept waiting for this epiphany of feeling ready and not missing her, but I'm to the point, nearly a year later, where I don't think that is ever going to happen.

 

[audball]

I'm so sorry that your heart still hurts for Molly! I know you are looking to rescue, but personally I would probably opt for a younger pup if you raised Molly from a baby. Rescues are fantastic and as I type this out I am apprehensive about sharing my opinion because I might be flamed, but I really do think that would be the best way for you to go if you have the time and desire to raise a pup. I would SO love to have a puppy...don't tell my DH, or my cats!

No flaming here! I've had rescued pets (my current cat and our family dog growing up) and breeder pets (my Molly). I've thought about this too and even contacted Molly's breeder to see if Molly's parents would be having another litter sometime soon. I had the train of though that made me think that if I couldn't have Molly, her sister would be awesome! But I'm not sure if a puppy is the way to go either. We got Molly when she was 6 months old (she was kept to be a breeder, but she wasn't 'perfect' and was sold to a pet home around 6 months instead of 8 week). It was SO MUCH WORK. Not that I wouldn't do it again someday, but I don't think I want to do the puppy game with all the training and work until I'm in a house with a yard which is many years away at this point. This dog is an adult, has no negative behaviors, is already housebroken, and knows some basic commands. I could still do a training class or two over the summer to promote bonding, etc but be able to go on and start enjoying the having a good dog part. And this girl has a heartwarming story and deserves a good, loving home to live out the rest of her adult life and golden years.

 

[sonnyjane]

I do want another dog. I miss having one here, the needs me, that wants me that way. I kept waiting for this epiphany of feeling ready and not missing her, but I'm to the point, nearly a year later, where I don't think that is ever going to happen.

I think THAT is the epiphany. I think it would be unusual if you ever DID stop missing her. I don't envy your situation at all. Are you 100% set on that specific breed? I really do agree that meeting the dog first would be ideal. Since you're putting so much into this emotionally, I'd hate for you to have any regrets. If you're not set on that specific breed, I think just heading to local shelters and seeing what dog "speaks" to you is a great option. Maybe you'll find one on your first visit, maybe you won't, but one day, one of the dogs will look at you and I think you'll realize that's the one that belongs with you.
'

 

[yennyfire]

Oh, I remember you having to give up your dog as a concession to make the separation work, I'm so sorry about that.

Is there any way you could meet the dog in question before committing to taking her in? I think meeting the animal will help you decide for sure. If that isn't possible, I think you'll want to examine your motives for wanting her. I don't think you can 'replace' Molly, but I think you are right that your heart can expand to love another.

Well said Rubybeth. I think that going to meet this pup is a good first step. No animal can replace a beloved pet who was lost, but I think you'll find that you have room in your heart to love another....

 

[audball]

I do want another dog. I miss having one here, the needs me, that wants me that way. I kept waiting for this epiphany of feeling ready and not missing her, but I'm to the point, nearly a year later, where I don't think that is ever going to happen.

I think THAT is the epiphany. I think it would be unusual if you ever DID stop missing her. I don't envy your situation at all. Are you 100% set on that specific breed? I really do agree that meeting the dog first would be ideal. Since you're putting so much into this emotionally, I'd hate for you to have any regrets. If you're not set on that specific breed, I think just heading to local shelters and seeing what dog "speaks" to you is a great option. Maybe you'll find one on your first visit, maybe you won't, but one day, one of the dogs will look at you and I think you'll realize that's the one that belongs with you.
'

Maybe you're right, sonnyjane. I'm certain I won't ever stop missing her. I am 100% set on a miniature schnauzer. I researched the hell out of every breed in the book and after having had one for a few years, it's the perfect dog for me which is why I went through the breed specific rescue. Maybe I should just take a few days off work and head to Alabama to meet her! So many people aren't capable of saying "No" when a pet isn't a good fit for them, but I have done this before and know I could do it again if we didn't click.

 

[audball]

Oh, I remember you having to give up your dog as a concession to make the separation work, I'm so sorry about that.

Is there any way you could meet the dog in question before committing to taking her in? I think meeting the animal will help you decide for sure. If that isn't possible, I think you'll want to examine your motives for wanting her. I don't think you can 'replace' Molly, but I think you are right that your heart can expand to love another.

Well said Rubybeth. I think that going to meet this pup is a good first step. No animal can replace a beloved pet who was lost, but I think you'll find that you have room in your heart to love another....

Thanks yennyfire. I think my heart has the room too.

 

[Rhea]

I lost a beloved in the same type of situation. I really do believe that the being apart is harder than death of a pet. I can't grieve in the same way. It's a huge part of why I changed my screen name, I can't have a constant reminder, it's just painful. I can't offer any advice, I'm not there yet. Hugs and I hope you make a choice that you're comfortable with!

 

[audball]

I lost a baby in the same type of situation. I really do believe that the being apart is harder than death of a pet. I can't grieve in the same way. It's a huge part of why I changed my screen name, I can't have a constant reminder, it's just painful. I can't offer any advice, I'm not there yet. Hugs and I hope you make a choice that you're comfortable with!

I'm sorry. I know it hurts. I hope you'll find peace soon. I'm trying to think of this as practically as I am emotionally. I think sonnyjane pinned it pretty nicely. Realizing that I'm never going to be over it was half the battle. The other half will be giving my hear to another and knowing that doing so doesn't change the love I have for her even though she's not with me anymore.

I recognize your avatar photo and thought you'd changed your name, but I can't for the life of me call up what it used to be! Good to know I wasn't crazy.

 

[sonnyjane]

I do want another dog. I miss having one here, the needs me, that wants me that way. I kept waiting for this epiphany of feeling ready and not missing her, but I'm to the point, nearly a year later, where I don't think that is ever going to happen.

I think THAT is the epiphany. I think it would be unusual if you ever DID stop missing her. I don't envy your situation at all. Are you 100% set on that specific breed? I really do agree that meeting the dog first would be ideal. Since you're putting so much into this emotionally, I'd hate for you to have any regrets. If you're not set on that specific breed, I think just heading to local shelters and seeing what dog "speaks" to you is a great option. Maybe you'll find one on your first visit, maybe you won't, but one day, one of the dogs will look at you and I think you'll realize that's the one that belongs with you.
'

Maybe you're right, sonnyjane. I'm certain I won't ever stop missing her. I am 100% set on a miniature schnauzer. I researched the hell out of every breed in the book and after having had one for a few years, it's the perfect dog for me which is why I went through the breed specific rescue. Maybe I should just take a few days off work and head to Alabama to meet her! So many people aren't capable of saying "No" when a pet isn't a good fit for them, but I have done this before and know I could do it again if we didn't click.

If your job will let you have some time off, I think that would be great. And I know you already know this, but remember to try not to compare the two. You already said they don't look the same, which is good, but remember they are not going to have the same personalities either, so judge her based on HER personality and how you two fit together, and not on how she compares to your other little pup

 

[audball]

If your job will let you have some time off, I think that would be great. And I know you already know this, but remember to try not to compare the two. You already said they don't look the same, which is good, but remember they are not going to have the same personalities either, so judge her based on HER personality and how you two fit together, and not on how she compares to your other little pup

I know they would. And definitely, my goal was a different look and she does have a different, more timid personality just because of where she's come from. Nice reminder though. Thank you

 

[Christina...]

I lost my beloved Thornton, a cockapoo that I had from the very day she was born (her mom was my moms cockerspaniel) about 15 years ago, and I didn't think that I would ever be ready for another dog. But my son ask for a dog when he was 9, and after giving it a lot of thought we decided that every boy needs his own dog. Even knowing all the sadness and grief that the loss causes we decided that the happiness, companionship and loyalty far outweighed it. I was actually surprised at how quickly I allowed myself to become attached to the new puppy, and she quickly became part of our family and now we can't imagine our lives without her. When I had Thornton I couldn't imagine loving anything as much as I loved her, until of course I met my husband and had a child, but pets truly do find a way deep inside our hearts.

I think that if your finding yourself starting to consider the possibility of having a pet again, then you will probably find that you are ready. For me, it was quite incredible how quickly I forgot the pain of the first loss and how quickly and completely I fell in love with the new one. It's probably similar to dating for the first time after a huge painful break up, your probably ready when you start thinking about the possibilities again.

I just wanted to edit for clarity sake...though I said that I was amazed at how quickly I forgot the pain with the new puppy, I by no means meant that I forgot her, only that I began to remember the wonderful times more than the hurt that losing her caused.

 

[audball]

I lost my beloved Thornton, a cockapoo that I had from the very day she was born (her mom was my moms cockerspaniel) about 15 years ago, and I didn't think that I would ever be ready for another dog. But my son ask for a dog when he was 9, and after giving it a lot of thought we decided that every boy needs his own dog. Even knowing all the sadness and grief that the loss causes we decided that the happiness, companionship and loyalty far outweighed it. I was actually surprised at how quickly I allowed myself to become attached to the new puppy, and she quickly became part of our family and now we can't imagine our lives without her. When I had Thornton I couldn't imagine loving anything as much as I loved her, until of course I met my husband and had a child, but pets truly do find a way deep inside our hearts.

I think that if your finding yourself starting to consider the possibility of having a pet again, then you will probably find that you are ready. For me, it was quite incredible how quickly I forgot the pain of the first loss and how quickly and completely I fell in love with the new one. It's probably similar to dating for the first time after a huge painful break up, your probably ready when you start thinking about the possibilities again.

Thank you for sharing your story. That's how I feel. But I also feel like my home is empty when I come home with out that little tail wagging SOOO excited that Mom is home. My kitty loves me, but in a different way. There are days he doesn't even look up from where he is sunning himself when I get home. He'll snuggle when we're settled and changed and on the couch, but there is something I miss so much about coming in and the joy of that little dog just washing the day away and making me happy. I really want that again.

 

[Christina...]

I lost my beloved Thornton, a cockapoo that I had from the very day she was born (her mom was my moms cockerspaniel) about 15 years ago, and I didn't think that I would ever be ready for another dog. But my son ask for a dog when he was 9, and after giving it a lot of thought we decided that every boy needs his own dog. Even knowing all the sadness and grief that the loss causes we decided that the happiness, companionship and loyalty far outweighed it. I was actually surprised at how quickly I allowed myself to become attached to the new puppy, and she quickly became part of our family and now we can't imagine our lives without her. When I had Thornton I couldn't imagine loving anything as much as I loved her, until of course I met my husband and had a child, but pets truly do find a way deep inside our hearts.

I think that if your finding yourself starting to consider the possibility of having a pet again, then you will probably find that you are ready. For me, it was quite incredible how quickly I forgot the pain of the first loss and how quickly and completely I fell in love with the new one. It's probably similar to dating for the first time after a huge painful break up, your probably ready when you start thinking about the possibilities again.

Thank you for sharing your story. That's how I feel. But I also feel like my home is empty when I come home with out that little tail wagging SOOO excited that Mom is home. My kitty loves me, but in a different way. There are days he doesn't even look up from where he is sunning himself when I get home. He'll snuggle when we're settled and changed and on the couch, but there is something I miss so much about coming in and the joy of that little dog just washing the day away and making me happy. I really want that again.

I have always been a dog person. My dog, Nya, knows when I'm sad or when I'm happy and she just so much wants to please me. I find it incredible how intuative she is. And like you said, she is always waiting at the door when I get home, or ready and waiting when she hears me dig the car keys out of my purse. There is just something very different personality wise with a dog. I sometimes wonder what she is thinking and wishing that I could talk with her. And I love the fierce loyalty that a dog has for it's owner. I hope that this works out for you,it sounds like your ready to me. BTW I hope that you were able to read my edit in my first post. I just wanted to clarify.

 

[JewelFreak]

My heart breaks for your sacrifice -- I can't imagine how painful that would be. You're an angel to care so much.

I think your heart tells you when you're ready -- and it sounds like yours is at least whispering to you. Some people need a new one right away & others need time to grieve. I'm like you. Have lost many dearly loved pals over the years & you never stop aching for them but you do eventually get to where you're ready to love again. Molly would say to you what I've realized my buddies would say: "Hey, take the love I taught you about & give it to another soul who needs it. Otherwise, what was the learning & good in our relationship?"

The fact that the new dog isn't like Molly is terrific. You do not want to be constantly comparing. She deserves to be valued for herself. Take a look at the video, watch a few times, & see how you feel. She may make you want to take her in your arms. If not, then wait a bit longer. There's no rush, but I predict a dog will come along soon to whom you can give the wonderful things in your heart. Do it without guilt; it's right. Lucky dog!

--- Laurie

 

[Enerchi]

It sounds like you are ready - you are excited and looking forward to it, which is a good sign!

Our experience with getting a second dog of the same breed, wasn't as rosy as we'd hoped. Our first miniature schnauzer was the perfect dog and we assumed that if we were getting a second, she'd be just as perfect and be exactly the same - based on the breeds characteristics. Unfortunately, the original breeder did not have any pups coming and we went with a different breeder. Our second seemed the same as a puppy, but she turned out to grow into a very different type of dog - shy, timid, fearful, needy - and the experience wasn't good for either her or us. After about 4 years, we rehomed her, to a family that would 'dog sit' for her, when we travelled. She is much happier there than she was with us, because she is now the only dog.

We assumed that they'd be similar in personalities and I think we had ourselves set up with those expectations - not appreciating her being different than him. (well, we did, but we just 'assumed' they'd be the same ... KWIM?)

I'm not really meaning to rain on your parade, just wanted to tell you that each dog is different and she won't be a copy of your Mollie and its hard NOT to (deep in the back of your mind...) kind of expect her to be. I'd really suggest meeting her first - you want it to be right for both of you. All the best, audball, as you go thru this process

 

[Christina...]

My heart breaks for your sacrifice -- I can't imagine how painful that would be. You're an angel to care so much.

I think your heart tells you when you're ready -- and it sounds like yours is at least whispering to you. Some people need a new one right away & others need time to grieve. I'm like you. Have lost many dearly loved pals over the years & you never stop aching for them but you do eventually get to where you're ready to love again. Molly would say to you what I've realized my buddies would say: "Hey, take the love I taught you about & give it to another soul who needs it. Otherwise, what was the learning & good in our relationship?"

The fact that the new dog isn't like Molly is terrific. You do not want to be constantly comparing. She deserves to be valued for herself. Take a look at the video, watch a few times, & see how you feel. She may make you want to take her in your arms. If not, then wait a bit longer. There's no rush, but I predict a dog will come along soon to whom you can give the wonderful things in your heart. Do it without guilt; it's right. Lucky dog!

--- Laurie

I love this! Perfect!

 

[audball]

I lost my beloved Thornton, a cockapoo that I had from the very day she was born (her mom was my moms cockerspaniel) about 15 years ago, and I didn't think that I would ever be ready for another dog. But my son ask for a dog when he was 9, and after giving it a lot of thought we decided that every boy needs his own dog. Even knowing all the sadness and grief that the loss causes we decided that the happiness, companionship and loyalty far outweighed it. I was actually surprised at how quickly I allowed myself to become attached to the new puppy, and she quickly became part of our family and now we can't imagine our lives without her. When I had Thornton I couldn't imagine loving anything as much as I loved her, until of course I met my husband and had a child, but pets truly do find a way deep inside our hearts.

I think that if your finding yourself starting to consider the possibility of having a pet again, then you will probably find that you are ready. For me, it was quite incredible how quickly I forgot the pain of the first loss and how quickly and completely I fell in love with the new one. It's probably similar to dating for the first time after a huge painful break up, your probably ready when you start thinking about the possibilities again.

Thank you for sharing your story. That's how I feel. But I also feel like my home is empty when I come home with out that little tail wagging SOOO excited that Mom is home. My kitty loves me, but in a different way. There are days he doesn't even look up from where he is sunning himself when I get home. He'll snuggle when we're settled and changed and on the couch, but there is something I miss so much about coming in and the joy of that little dog just washing the day away and making me happy. I really want that again.

I have always been a dog person. My dog, Nya, knows when I'm sad or when I'm happy and she just so much wants to please me. I find it incredible how intuative she is. And like you said, she is always waiting at the door when I get home, or ready and waiting when she hears me dig the car keys out of my purse. There is just something very different personality wise with a dog. I sometimes wonder what she is thinking and wishing that I could talk with her. And I love the fierce loyalty that a dog has for it's owner. I hope that this works out for you,it sounds like your ready to me. BTW I hope that you were able to read my edit in my first post. I just wanted to clarify.

Yes I was! That is how I interpreted what you meant in the first place though! They really are intuitive creatures. And they have some way of just making all the bad of a day melt away as they smile because they are just.so.happy to see you.

 

[audball]

My heart breaks for your sacrifice -- I can't imagine how painful that would be. You're an angel to care so much.

I think your heart tells you when you're ready -- and it sounds like yours is at least whispering to you. Some people need a new one right away & others need time to grieve. I'm like you. Have lost many dearly loved pals over the years & you never stop aching for them but you do eventually get to where you're ready to love again. Molly would say to you what I've realized my buddies would say: "Hey, take the love I taught you about & give it to another soul who needs it. Otherwise, what was the learning & good in our relationship?"

The fact that the new dog isn't like Molly is terrific. You do not want to be constantly comparing. She deserves to be valued for herself. Take a look at the video, watch a few times, & see how you feel. She may make you want to take her in your arms. If not, then wait a bit longer. There's no rush, but I predict a dog will come along soon to whom you can give the wonderful things in your heart. Do it without guilt; it's right. Lucky dog!

--- Laurie

Thank you Laurie. Your post made me cry. Molly probably would say just that. She would get so depressed when I was sad. She wouldn't want me to be sad.

 

[Christina...]

My heart breaks for your sacrifice -- I can't imagine how painful that would be. You're an angel to care so much.

I think your heart tells you when you're ready -- and it sounds like yours is at least whispering to you. Some people need a new one right away & others need time to grieve. I'm like you. Have lost many dearly loved pals over the years & you never stop aching for them but you do eventually get to where you're ready to love again. Molly would say to you what I've realized my buddies would say: "Hey, take the love I taught you about & give it to another soul who needs it. Otherwise, what was the learning & good in our relationship?"

The fact that the new dog isn't like Molly is terrific. You do not want to be constantly comparing. She deserves to be valued for herself. Take a look at the video, watch a few times, & see how you feel. She may make you want to take her in your arms. If not, then wait a bit longer. There's no rush, but I predict a dog will come along soon to whom you can give the wonderful things in your heart. Do it without guilt; it's right. Lucky dog!

--- Laurie

Thank you Laurie. Your post made me cry. Molly probably would say just that. She would get so depressed when I was sad. She wouldn't want me to be sad.

I think it's time! *hugs*

 

[audball]

It sounds like you are ready - you are excited and looking forward to it, which is a good sign!

Our experience with getting a second dog of the same breed, wasn't as rosy as we'd hoped. Our first miniature schnauzer was the perfect dog and we assumed that if we were getting a second, she'd be just as perfect and be exactly the same - based on the breeds characteristics. Unfortunately, the original breeder did not have any pups coming and we went with a different breeder. Our second seemed the same as a puppy, but she turned out to grow into a very different type of dog - shy, timid, fearful, needy - and the experience wasn't good for either her or us. After about 4 years, we rehomed her, to a family that would 'dog sit' for her, when we travelled. She is much happier there than she was with us, because she is now the only dog.

We assumed that they'd be similar in personalities and I think we had ourselves set up with those expectations - not appreciating her being different than him. (well, we did, but we just 'assumed' they'd be the same ... KWIM?)

I'm not really meaning to rain on your parade, just wanted to tell you that each dog is different and she won't be a copy of your Mollie and its hard NOT to (deep in the back of your mind...) kind of expect her to be. I'd really suggest meeting her first - you want it to be right for both of you. All the best, audball, as you go thru this process

I am excited and looking forward to it. Thank you. I know the dog won't be the same and that is the biggest reason I chose to look into adopting an adult dog with an established personality instead of a puppy. Puppies are gambles. When you pick them out at a few weeks old, it's just based on looks. They are all happy go lucky pups. I do think your nurturing can influence it somewhat, but part of it is nature too I think. Personality was key to me. I wanted a known and rescue with the breed of my choice who has lived with a foster family for awhile is the way to achieve that. I know you're not raining! You are very right in that every dog is different and accepting that going in will help. Thank you

 

[audball]

My heart breaks for your sacrifice -- I can't imagine how painful that would be. You're an angel to care so much.

I think your heart tells you when you're ready -- and it sounds like yours is at least whispering to you. Some people need a new one right away & others need time to grieve. I'm like you. Have lost many dearly loved pals over the years & you never stop aching for them but you do eventually get to where you're ready to love again. Molly would say to you what I've realized my buddies would say: "Hey, take the love I taught you about & give it to another soul who needs it. Otherwise, what was the learning & good in our relationship?"

The fact that the new dog isn't like Molly is terrific. You do not want to be constantly comparing. She deserves to be valued for herself. Take a look at the video, watch a few times, & see how you feel. She may make you want to take her in your arms. If not, then wait a bit longer. There's no rush, but I predict a dog will come along soon to whom you can give the wonderful things in your heart. Do it without guilt; it's right. Lucky dog!

--- Laurie

Thank you Laurie. Your post made me cry. Molly probably would say just that. She would get so depressed when I was sad. She wouldn't want me to be sad.

I think it's time! *hugs*

It just may be.

 

[decodelighted]

Good luck whatever you decide. (I do believe in signs!) But I just get so mad for you that you can't get Molly back. It hurts MY heart just thinking about it. So, I agree w/the others -- it would be unlikely for you to ever truly "get over" it. Hopefully the pangs will mellow w/time though.

 

[audball]

Good luck whatever you decide. (I do believe in signs!) But I just get so mad for you that you can't get Molly back. It hurts MY heart just thinking about it. So, I agree w/the others -- it would be unlikely for you to ever truly "get over" it. Hopefully the pangs will mellow w/time though.

Thanks deco. I'm mad about it too. I had thoughts in the last few months about trying to sue him for custody of her. Getting letters from the breeder, neighbors, trainer, groomer, vet all saying I was her primary care giver and that they'd never met or heard of him being associated with her, but after all this time I honestly didn't think it would help. If anything, in the last year SHE has adjusted to her new lifestyle and uprooting her again wouldn't be fair to her. He and I still have several mutual friends who report back that she is thriving and happy so there's that You all are right, that I won't get over it ever. That is something I have come to realize in the last year.

 

[justginger]

Oh my goodness, this thread made my cry - and made my heart sing. Aud, you are exactly the type of person I seek out for my fosters' forever homes. You are loving, dedicated, responsible, and rational. Any dog would be blessed to have you as a mom. I am so sorry you've been through such a traumatic experience, but it truly sounds like you are in the right head and heart space to allow a new fur ball to help heal your heart. And in animal rescue, I absolutely believe in signs. Don't let your fear ruin this opportunity - jump in the car and find out if she's The One!

 

[JewelFreak]

And be sure to tell us all about it!

 

[princesss]

Oh, Aud! My heart just hurts for you. I think you're approaching this just right, honestly. I don't know that we ever really get over the loss of a pet - no matter how they leave our lives. But sometimes the universe hands us a new furbaby to love and trusts us to be the right human for them. I've lost two dogs, and there are still times when I cry looking at a picture of them. But I'll tell you - when I saw my Lola, I knew she was meant for me. (Miss Lola who is currently sitting at my elbow, purring and glaring at me accusingly like she's trying to say, "Okay, I'm happy. But I could be happier if you would ignore everybody else and pet me." In time, Lola, in time.) I think you're reaching a good place as far as adopting goes. I wish you all the best of luck, and I hope you have a new furbaby soon to help you heal the rest of the way from losing Molly.

 

[Enerchi]

Oh my goodness, this thread made my cry - and made my heart sing. Aud, you are exactly the type of person I seek out for my fosters' forever homes. You are loving, dedicated, responsible, and rational. Any dog would be blessed to have you as a mom. I am so sorry you've been through such a traumatic experience, but it truly sounds like you are in the right head and heart space to allow a new fur ball to help heal your heart. And in animal rescue, I absolutely believe in signs. Don't let your fear ruin this opportunity - jump in the car and find out if she's The One!

I'm a big believer in signs as well - you decided to post about it because you are "thatmuchreadierthanyouwerebefore" thinking (can you read that?? hahaha!); you are getting anonymous feedback from people who don't know you in your normal circle, so you can be honest and we can be honest; the foster home is going to make you a video because she has a good feeling about you; this new mini has the same birthday.... I say get in the car, go for the ride - meet this little lady on her turf and see how you feel! She's been thru so much that meeting her where she is comfortable, is a much fairer representation of her personality and behaviours. And yup, you just might be driving home with a new friend in the backseat crate!

I am hoping she is the one for you! This is so exciting! How wonderful to have a new dog back in your world again - - - go meet her!!!