When are you planning on starting a family?

[princessplease]

I''m not a newlywed, but with out wedding coming up in July, FI and I got to talking about when we''re planning to start a family. We''re going for two years after we''re married, which will be in 2012. I''ll be 27, FI will be 28.
We''ve decided that once we get a house, I''ll stop the pill, and whatever happens, happens. FI and I want some time to enjoy married life, with the ability to travel and get settled into our first home before we have a baby.

When are you and your DH''s planning on starting a family (if you are)? Why are you planning when to start?

 

[sba771]

Also not a newlywed but we have a plan. I am throwing out the BC right after the honeymoon. I will be 25 and FI will be 32. We will have traveled throughout Europe for 2 years and bought a house by then. The reason we are waiting until after the honeymoon is that FI doesn''t want to be drinking while we are trying. I don''t drink and told him it doesn''t matter, but he is weird and since I am not a fan of drinking so much, it works for me and makes him happy. We will be whatever about it for probably 4-6 months, then if nothing I will start loosely charting in terms of just tracking my period and ovulation days and if it hits a year then I will start doing temping and all the CM fun stuff.

 

[angielea]

still trying to figure this one out. We''re not 100% sure on children yet. We''re both 26, and wouldn''t want to plan on anything until after 30, and after we own a home.

Then again, I would want it to be before I turn 35, so I have to make a decision some time in the next 9 years. I know that seems like forever, but the time is going to fly, and its a big question that''s still on our minds.

So far the plan is something like this: around 32, decide for sure if we''re going forward with having kids. attempt to do so if the answer is yes. Be done by 35. (2 kids max)

If the decision is no kids, continue along our merry way, save for an OOPs. which seems to pop up in my family.

Our main priorities are to enjoy married life, get my husband his masters and hopefully PhD. However, if we do decide to have children, my husband will be the stay at home dad.

 

[Patchee]

We are already a family................................without kids. Just married in July.

We are not marriage then baby carriage type of people.

But it is interesting to me that Ladies here are all about ditching the BC''s immediately follwoing the honeymoon.

 

[musey]

Our target minimum age is about the same as yours, princessplease. Around 27-28. That''s not a "we''ll start trying the day I turn 27" thing, it''s just that we want to be at least that age.

Really, it''s an intangible nebulous whenever-we-feel-ready-ish idea. We have ideas of where we want to be professionally and financially, but who knows how that will pan out. We''ve decided to start around 30 even if everything hasn''t gotten to the "ready" stage yet.

 

[Miscka]

We are still debating this issue. We both want to have a baby soon, but the timing is not great so we are holding out.

The plan is to buy a house in the Spring when my DH finishes law school, take a crazy trip next fall to Europe, etc. and then think more seriously about trying.

 

[brooklyngirl]

DH and I don''t really have a specific plan. We''re waiting until the urge for a baby hits us, and we''re thinking it will be before 30, so we have a couple of years.

Ideally I would like to be settled into a house by then, but our search hasn''t been successful thus far. There''s also the uncertainly as to whether we want to raise our family in NYC or stay in CA. When we first moved, I thought for sure that we''d move back once we have a child, but now I''m not so sure. It could go either way at this point

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Hopefully as soon as I am done school and get a job... Which should be in the next 3-4 years (I will be in my early 30''s).

 

[pocahontas]

Ha, I guess I'm the old hag here

DH and I are already in our 30's, but we're not planning on trying for another 1.5 - 2 years. We've been together 10 years, are both financially secure, and bought our first home a few months ago. I guess on paper we should be trying right away, but I still have another year of grad school to go plus DH and I didn't live together before we got married and we're enjoying this time together too much to think about bringing kids into the equation.

 

[trillionaire]

We aren't married yet, but we've talked about this as well. (We are 26/27)

We currently are in the 'no baby' camp.

We plan to get the vascetomy/tubal deal out of the way as soon as we can find a doctor to do so after we get married. (apparently many Docs won't do them if you don't have kids or you are under 30 ) I am adamantly opposed to biological children when there are children waiting to be adopted.

We've decided that if we don't want kids by 32/33, we won't have them, because he doesn't want to be an 'old parent'. (his parents were 18/19 when they had him)

If we decide that we want kids by 32/33, we will pursue adoption of two kids, possibly siblings, by the time we are 35. The kids have to be less than 5, and must include one boy, as per FI's specifications. (lol, he's picky!) I've been told that there is always a high demand for black couples adopting black children, so I am hoping that the waiting/placement time wouldn't take more than 3 yrs... but as I said, this is our contingency plan. The older I get the less interest I've become in parenting...

 

[Lynnie]

Good Q, princess!

We''ll both be 28 by October...
We''ve been house hunting loosely since the wedding (April). Put in one serious offer, which got accepted, but the inspection revealed a LOT of problems, so we backed out... But as soon as we''re settled into a house, we''ll start trying! We definitely want to settle somewhere by the end of the year, to take advantage of the Obama tax credit. So if all goes according to the desired plan, I''ll be preggo by Feb/Mar

Now that''s scary to type!!!
Oh, and we''ve been together for 10 years, married 4 months.

 

[meresal]

We got married on July 25. C is amonth from 28, and I''m 25. We have talked about starting to try when he is 30, but like everyone else, we would like a house and to be very financially sound before that point. So we will see...

 

[MakingTheGrade]

We''re a happy family of two right now. but we''re thinking of expanding to 3 in the next few years. I''m trying to figure out the best time to fit in a pregnancy during this whole medical school/residency thing..

 

[anniee19]

We were married in May, and plan to wait about a year from now before we start trying. We bought a house a little over a year ago, and I''m almost done with school. Hopefully by next year I will have a pretty steady job, and then we''ll start trying.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We knew we wanted a couple of years of enjoying our marriage before trying and so far we''re sticking to that. The tentative plan is to go off of BC around my 29th bday next year. More than anything I think we''ll use that as an evaluation point, I''m not set on any given time. We''re in the process of house hunting now and still have a few vacations we want to take before we start really trying. This has been a year of travelling for us and I''m hoping we can use the Spring to travel as well before focusing on the next big thing.

 

[blackpolkadot]

Right now the plan is to wait 5 years before we have kids. That really depends on a million different things though, like finding good jobs (I am finishing my last semester of college right now), buying a house, etc, so it could be longer. We''re pretty young though (21 and 23), so waiting more than 5 years wouldn''t be a bad thing.

 

[marlie]

not married yet but it''s been discussed. i''m 29 and will be 30 when we are married, so will FI. i think we are going to wait 2 more years and then try. but again, like musey said, it''s not like 2 years from that very day we''ll toss the BC. just a rough estimate. i''d like to have 2 kids and be done by 35/36 though.

 

[musincy]

We''re going to wait for probably 3 years. At least, that''s the plan for now!

 

[DMBFiredancer]

Date: 8/17/2009 11:57:14 AM
Author: Patchee
We are already a family................................without kids. Just married in July.

I feel the same way. Me, my hubby and our kitty. I would like to get a dog or 2 and maybe another cat once we are able to move into a place that actually allows pets.

 

[Haven]

When we first married I thought we would only wait one or two years to start trying. (We were 27 and 38 when we married last July.)

But now that we''ve been married for a little over a year, we''ve gotten a bit selfish about keeping our "just us" time for a bit longer. We both want children very much, but we are having so much fun being married that we''re not ready to have kids yet.

We''re ready financially, as DH is well into his career and he can easily support us and a few future kiddos. We own our home, have a condo in the city that we rent out, no debt other than student loans, yadda yadda.

We just aren''t ready to give up all of our time for children, yet. We''re very committed to raising our children in a particular manner, which requires a lot of time and attention. When we''re ready to do it right, we''ll start trying.

We''re 28 and 39, now. I say we''ll be ready in a few years, but who knows? Maybe we''ll wake up one morning in a month and be ready. We''ll see.

 

[luckystar112]

I''m 26, DH is about to be 29.
We plan on having kids once we''re out of Texas and settled down closer to family.
This is my last year of school, so we''ve been job hunting for him like crazy.

 

[mimzy]

we''ve been married about 8 months and are both 24, and really only have a vague idea of when we want to start. we want to be settled into a house (which we put an offer in on yesterday, fingers crossed!) and DH needs to be a little more secure in his current position before we can really seriously consider kids. we are going with the ''whenever it feels right'' plan! so...sometime in the next 6 months to 4 years

 

[bee*]

We just got married in June and we''re not planning on having children for at least 4 years. I''m 27, he''s 29 (on Sunday!!) but I returned to college and have another 3 years to go so I''d like to finish college plus work for a little while to start building a career before having them. Plus we''d have to see how D is doing in his career to make sure we could afford them.

 

[Lauren8211]

Currently FI and I are 30 and 26(27 in Nov). We''ll be getting married in less than 2 months. We plan to wait 2-3 years to have children. I''d like to start around 30 or a little before.

This is flexible... but that''d be my ideal. We''d like to have bought a house before we have kids, so hopefully we can do that in the next year to year and a half!

 

[Elmorton]

My parents had me when they were 30/31, DH''s parents had him when they were 28/29...so both of us grew up thinking that 30 was the normal age to have kids, and that''s what we''re shooting for still. We''ve been talking about it more and more since we bought a house, but while we both want children very, very much, we still want to wait and enjoy life with just the two of us and feel more stable in our careers first. DH turns 27 next month, so we have at least 3 years to go until we plan to start actively trying.

 

[Laila619]

We got married at 27 and 31, and started trying after 5 months of marriage. I'm not one of those people who wanted alone time with just me and my DH to travel, etc. I really want kids!

 

[meresal]

Date: 8/19/2009 1:58:17 PM
Author: Elmorton
My parents had me when they were 30/31, DH''s parents had him when they were 28/29...so both of us grew up thinking that 30 was the normal age to have kids, and that''s what we''re shooting for still. We''ve been talking about it more and more since we bought a house, but while we both want children very, very much, we still want to wait and enjoy life with just the two of us and feel more stable in our careers first. DH turns 27 next month, so we have at least 3 years to go until we plan to start actively trying.

I was just thinking about this El. My parents were both 35 when they had me, and live a very very active life-style to this day, and they are both 60.
I always laugh when I hear someone use the justification for having kids in their early 20''s, "I still want to have a life after my kids grow up." I''m not saying every person that has kids in their early/mid 20''s thinks this way, but I have definitely heard more than a few couples say it.

 

[Pandora II]

DH and I started TTC on our wedding night. I was pg 4 weeks later!

We are 34 and 37 (me being the 37) so thought we''d better get a move on. Plus, we''d been living together for 4 years, had a house, got to a certain point in our careers etc so it just seemed like we''d better get on with it before I changed my mind again!

I believe in children fitting into our life so I don''t worry about wanting to do things with DH without kids - they just come too. Or rather Daisy comes too. I so hated being pg that I''m only having another when he/she can be grown in a jam jar for the whole 9 months!

 

[Dandi]

Date: 8/18/2009 7:34:40 PM
Author: mimzy
we''ve been married about 8 months and are both 24, and really only have a vague idea of when we want to start. we want to be settled into a house (which we put an offer in on yesterday, fingers crossed!) and DH needs to be a little more secure in his current position before we can really seriously consider kids. we are going with the ''whenever it feels right'' plan! so...sometime in the next 6 months to 4 years

Oooh good luck mimzy, keep us updated!!

I''m 27, and DH is nearly 34. He has always wanted to be a dad by the time he is 35, so that would mean we''d start trying within the next 6 months or so. As time goes by, that seems more and more unlikely!

We discussed it before our wedding and decided about the 2 year mark would work for us. Our 2nd wedding anniversary is in less than 3 months!

We''ve been together 10 years, and have lived together nearly 4. We always said we''d wait until we were both in good places career-wise, which we are. We own our home and an investment property... but we are still waiting!

We just love our space and freedom, and time together.

The next milestone is to get our mortgage to a point where going back to work for me, is out of choice and not necessity. Which I guess will be in about 2-3 years, when I''ll be 29-30. Sounds good to me! I''ll be due for long service leave at that stage which is a bonus, but is not what will make the decision for us, obviously. An ''oops'' in between then and now would not be unwelcome

I''ll probably just chuck the pill and see what happens!

 

[Patchee]

Date: 8/17/2009 11:57:14 AM
Author: Patchee
We are already a family................................without kids. Just married in July.


I feel the same way. Me, my hubby and our kitty. I would like to get a dog or 2 and maybe another cat once we are able to move into a place that actually allows pets.
*7.25.09*


LOL DMB - - I have 4 cats and looking to expand to 5! That''s my family + hubby