What would PSer do? Don''t want JTV colored stone e-ring offer...

[l0v3lif3]

I am trying to come up with an e-ring that wouldn''t break FI''s (limited) budget, but that I still love. He could save up for the next two years for my dream ring, I guess, but that''s seems pointless I''d rather make do with less and be married sooner instead of later. I''d be happy with just a plain gold band, but he wants me to have an e-ring.

My dream ring would have a diamond solitaire or three stone and be 1.5 carats+. I already have a baby diamond pendent that is 27 points, and I don''t want an e-ring that size just for the sake of it being a diamond.

We looked at anniversary style band for around 1,000-1.500 to wear as an e-ring. That is possible, but I think I''d rather have a 4mm white gold band and upgrade later, when the economy is better and money isn''t so tight.

Here''s the sticking point. MIL has offered her massive collection of loose colored stones from the jewelry for the masses JTV. to set in a ring.
I''ve looked through a few trays I don''t think the color or cut is very good, and I know next to nothing about jewelry. I''d almost rather go to the maul. I don''t know what to do. It''s a HUGE JTV collection, with, I''m not kidding, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stones. Well, I don''t know if it''s worth that, but that''s what she paid for it. She thinks of it as an investment. Should I patiently look through her collection until I find SOMETHING I can live with. I don''t want to hurt FI''s feelings by turning down her stones.

What would you do?

 

[l0v3lif3]

I should mention, the stones I've seen are smallish, or the color saturation isn't that good, or are pretty included.

ETA, I've looked at colored stones on the recomened vendors' sites, and within minutes found a dozen stones I liked and were under 500. So I know that I'm not being super picky.

 

[neatfreak]

Hmmmm JTV stones are mostly pretty bad and certainly not an investment. I feel badly for people who buy them who think they are, but anyway, back on topic...

It certainly can't hurt to look, but there are PLENTY of places to get beautiful colored stones for a small budget. There is a sticky thread at the top here, I would start with some of those vendors and see if you find something you like. I think you could play this off as wanting it to be a gift from your BF to you, not from his mom to you ya know?


ETA: Wait, you do or do not want a gemstone ring if you can't have your diamond? If you don't want a gemstone I would either buy a small diamond from a place with an upgrade policy or an eternity ring to start...but a well cut gemstone ring can be gorgeous and reasonably priced!

 

[T L]

Date: 10/20/2008 2:36:59 PM
Author:l0v3lif3
I am trying to come up with an e-ring that wouldn't break FI's (limited) budget, but that I still love. He could save up for the next two years for my dream ring, I guess, but that's seems pointless I'd rather make do with less and be married sooner instead of later. I'd be happy with just a plain gold band, but he wants me to have an e-ring.

My dream ring would have a diamond solitaire or three stone and be 1.5 carats+. I already have a baby diamond pendent that is 27 points, and I don't want an e-ring that size just for the sake of it being a diamond.

We looked at anniversary style band for around 1,000-1.500 to wear as an e-ring. That is possible, but I think I'd rather have a 4mm white gold band and upgrade later, when the economy is better and money isn't so tight.

Here's the sticking point. MIL has offered her massive collection of loose colored stones from the jewelry for the masses JTV. to set in a ring.
I've looked through a few trays I don't think the color or cut is very good, and I know next to nothing about jewelry. I'd almost rather go to the maul. I don't know what to do. It's a HUGE JTV collection, with, I'm not kidding, hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stones. Well, I don't know if it's worth that, but that's what she paid for it. She thinks of it as an investment. Should I patiently look through her collection until I find SOMETHING I can live with. I don't want to hurt FI's feelings by turning down her stones.

What would you do?

If you havea a budget of 1,000 to 1,500 for a diamond e-ring, it is possible to do with a smaller diamond and a simple Tiffany style six prong setting, or an LOGR setting. I was looking at whiteflash.com last night and pricing out some diamonds in the .40 to .50 point range, and you can do the diamond + the tiffany style knife edge setting in that budget frame. The ACA (a cut above) ideal stones face up much larger than their weight because of the cutting. I would personally not want a JTV stone for an ering. I think with that budget, you do have options. A gorgeous ering doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg. Good luck and congratulations on your engagement!!

Hint on finding a good diamond for a reasonable price - do not get stuck on clarity. Get a good color (stick with F, G, H), but get an SI stone.

 

[mercoledi]

Well, it is sweet of her to offer. Is there anything in her stash with a nice color that could be recut? Not all JTV stuff is junk, but, yeah, it sounds like you have an eye for these things. If there really isn’t anything that will work, even if re-cut or re-polished, maybe you two can tell her that you want a new stone to start a new family, or some similar sentiment. Besides, you wouldn’t want to break up her hard-earned collection.

It doesn''t sound like you want a small (30 pointish) diamond e-ring, or an eternity band. Would you be comfortable posting your budget? We may be able to find you a larger diamond in budget, or suggest gemstones that might work better until you can upgrade to your dream ring.

 

[E B]

If I were you, I would find a BEAUTIFUL, well-cut gemstone in your favorite color around the same size you want your diamond to be (~7.4mm?). That way, when you've saved for a diamond, you can put it in the existing setting, or you can switch the entire ring to your right hand.

 

[l0v3lif3]

Date: 10/20/2008 2:46:14 PM
Author: neatfreak
Hmmmm JTV stones are mostly pretty bad and certainly not an investment. I feel badly for people who buy them who think they are, but anyway, back on topic...

It certainly can''t hurt to look, but there are PLENTY of places to get beautiful colored stones for a small budget. There is a sticky thread at the top here, I would start with some of those vendors and see if you find something you like. I think you could play this off as wanting it to be a gift from your BF to you, not from his mom to you ya know?


ETA: Wait, you do or do not want a gemstone ring if you can''t have your diamond? If you don''t want a gemstone I would either buy a small diamond from a place with an upgrade policy or an eternity ring to start...but a well cut gemstone ring can be gorgeous and reasonably priced!

I know. I feel terrible about the situation. She plans to resell then at a profit now. It''s for her retirement. I ''ve seen those awful carnival barkers they have as show hosts. They are very misleading without saying something that would lead to a lawsuit.

I would like a gemstone ring since my dream diamond ring is not going to be possible until we are more established. Under 1,000 would be ideal. I don''t want a small diamond under .5 carat. It''s too much like my pendant, and my fingers will dwarf it.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/20/2008 2:55:20 PM
Author: l0v3lif3

Date: 10/20/2008 2:46:14 PM

Author: neatfreak

Hmmmm JTV stones are mostly pretty bad and certainly not an investment. I feel badly for people who buy them who think they are, but anyway, back on topic...


It certainly can''t hurt to look, but there are PLENTY of places to get beautiful colored stones for a small budget. There is a sticky thread at the top here, I would start with some of those vendors and see if you find something you like. I think you could play this off as wanting it to be a gift from your BF to you, not from his mom to you ya know?



ETA: Wait, you do or do not want a gemstone ring if you can''t have your diamond? If you don''t want a gemstone I would either buy a small diamond from a place with an upgrade policy or an eternity ring to start...but a well cut gemstone ring can be gorgeous and reasonably priced!

I know. I feel terrible about the situation. She plans to resell then at a profit now. It''s for her retirement. I ''ve seen those awful carnival barkers they have as show hosts. They are very misleading without saying something that would lead to a lawsuit.


I would like a gemstone ring since my dream diamond ring is not going to be possible until we are more established. Under 1,000 would be ideal. I don''t want a small diamond under .5 carat. It''s too much like my pendant, and my fingers will dwarf it.

You have tons of options for a gorgeous ring, don''t worry.

And someone needs to tell your MIL not to spend another dime on those stones!!!!!!!!! She really wants to retire on that? That really worries me...

 

[l0v3lif3]

Mercoledi, it is sweet of her. That''s why I''m having trouble turning it down. I just wouldn''t be proud to wear it, though. And to turn down her stones and then go and buy a colored gem I thought would be insulting. She''s very invested in these stones, emotionally and financially.

Ebree, that''s something I''m strongly considering, if I can get him on board with buying a pretty stone for around 500 from a PS vendor.

 

[mercoledi]

Date: 10/20/2008 2:52:13 PM
Author: EBree
If I were you, I would find a BEAUTIFUL, well-cut gemstone in your favorite color around the same size you want your diamond to be (~7.4mm?). That way, when you've saved for a diamond, you can put it in the existing setting, or you can switch the entire ring to your right hand.

If you're dead set against a small diamond, then I think this is the way to go. What do you want in a gemstone? It sounds like sapphires are out based on your budget, but garnet, spinel, or amethyst or morganite are all easily doable.


ETA: That's her retirement? crazy. really. crazy. Are there any gems she doesn't have that you might like? Can we make one up for you? notthatzinite?

 

[E B]

Date: 10/20/2008 2:59:41 PM
Author: l0v3lif3
Mercoledi, it is sweet of her. That''s why I''m having trouble turning it down. I just wouldn''t be proud to wear it, though. And to turn down her stones and then go and buy a colored gem I thought would be insulting. She''s very invested in these stones, emotionally and financially.

You could tell her that while looking around for a setting, you fell in *love* with a specific gem. It spoke to you! You could tell her that hers are beautiful, but this one is THE ONE.

That might cushion the blow a bit?

 

[l0v3lif3]

Neatfreak, I know. She is taking of few of the stones to show local jewelers, I''m afraid she''s going to get laughed out of the store. She heard what she wanted to hear, I guess.

 

[decodelighted]

OH NO!!! Your future MIL is being swindled! Maybe you can have a frank conversation with your SO & get her to take her *current* collection to an appraiser, and let THEM be the bearer of the sure-to-be-CRUSHING news about her "investment"

But re: your e-ring ... I''d choose a dainty shared-prong diamond band & then pair it with a plain solid metal w-band as a wedding set.

This gives you plausible deniability re: the gems you don''t really want. "I''ve had my heart set on diamonds! So we''re going with a small TCW band that''s within our budget" Without insulting her collection directly. It was VERY KIND of her to offer ... but you are not obligated to accept. Just let her down easy, with much gushing about her generosity!

 

[l0v3lif3]

mercoledi, yeah since I have a lovely small diamond, I''d rather have a gemstone. Too bad I didn''t know about PS a few years ago, I could have gotten more bang for my buck, I''m sure. I''ve put the pendant on my hand, and I just wouldn''t be happy with a smaller stone.

I like spinel a lot. Tsavorite is gorgeous. Ruby, sappire and Emerald are lovely, but only high quality which puts it out of my budget.

 

[E B]

What size do you want? Color? Getting something custom cut is a good option, so you can have your ideal everything.

 

[neatfreak]

I totally second Deco''s suggestion of getting her to take the stones to an independent appraiser. Maybe tell her that she should go to an appraiser for insurance purposes? And then let them break the news to her...

 

[l0v3lif3]

Ebree, good idea. I''ve also seen some really nice inlay southwestern bands I love. Very unconvention for e-rings, but unique and a lot more "me."

Decodelighted, it would be expensive to have it all appraised, but even appraising a sampling would give her the gist of it. They aren''t even eye dirty. They are eye-filthy. And a lot are shaped poorly. Off center or lopsided looking. Or, if not, the color is not good. Like, she has a lot of blue Tanzanite, but not a lot of saturated blue violet. It''s so frustrating to think about it.

 

[l0v3lif3]

Does anyone think it''s even possible for her the break even? It''s so sad.

 

[swingirl]

If I were you I'd get a beautifully cut .50 ct stone for about $1300 and set it in a simple tiffany setting for $250. I know you want a 1.5 ct but I think .5 ct is quite respectable as an ering.

You don't seem that wild about a colored gemstone and especially the idea of picking through someone else's stuff. Not a particularly romantic method of stone selection!

=95&src=loupe:2o8h065d]0.53 ct stone

tiffany-style setting in whitegold

I might have written this before I saw your post on wanting a gemstone over a diamond. Oh well, it's just an idea.

 

[Kelli]

For $1500 you can get a beautifully cut half carat diamond in a simple tiffany style setting. If you go with a vendor with an upgrade policy, you could also upgrade at a later time when money isn''t so tight. If you''re sentimental about your engagement stone, you could even use it as your center OR one of the sidestones in a three stone ring like you wanted. Three stone rings are supposed to represent past, present, and future, so your half carat engagement diamond could be the "past" stone.

It was very nice of you MIL to offer one of her stones, but I would not take her up on that either. I hope she does decide to go have them appraised before buying any more of them!!! If you tell her you had your heart set on a diamond, she shouldn''t be too upset that you didn''t take one of hers.

 

[l0v3lif3]

Date: 10/20/2008 3:26:35 PM
Author: swingirl
If I were you I''d get a beautifully cut .50 ct stone for about $1300 and set it in a simple tiffany setting for $250. I know you want a 1.5 ct but I think .5 ct is quite respectable as an ering.

You don''t seem that wild about a colored gemstone and especially the idea of picking through someone else''s stuff. Not a particularly romantic method of stone selection!

=95&src=loupe:2o8h065d]0.53 ct stone

tiffany-style setting in whitegold

Oh I don''t want any particular sized gemstone. That was just a fantasy ring a few upgrades down the road. I have seen some colored gems I love, just not the ones she showed me. I agree .5 carat is very respectable.

 

[geckodani]

Were I in your admittedly tough situation, I think I would go for a 1/2 eternity band and pair it with a plain wedding band. I''ve been wearing a plain band with a cheapie bezel set band, and I''ve fallen in love with the look. If I had 1500 to spend, I would totally get a diamond 1/2 eternity and wear that as my engagement ring! Then, down the road, you can get your diamond and pair it with the existing band.

 

[StephCrowley]

Date: 10/20/2008 3:01:18 PM
Author: EBree

Date: 10/20/2008 2:59:41 PM

Author: l0v3lif3

Mercoledi, it is sweet of her. That''s why I''m having trouble turning it down. I just wouldn''t be proud to wear it, though. And to turn down her stones and then go and buy a colored gem I thought would be insulting. She''s very invested in these stones, emotionally and financially.

You could tell her that while looking around for a setting, you fell in *love* with a specific gem. It spoke to you! You could tell her that hers are beautiful, but this one is THE ONE.


That might cushion the blow a bit?

I think that Ebree had a *great* idea of saying that you fell in *love* with a specific gem! Just about every woman has ''been there'' regarding falling in love with something and knowing it''s THE ONE: wedding dress, gem, ring, house, and most importantly - THE GUY!

There are a couple of diamonds that I''ve had my eye on for some time (am out of $$$ right now

), but I''d be thrilled to share the links with you as maybe one of them is THE ONE! You may not like either of them, but perhaps it will help out with your search. Both of these diamonds would fit within your budget and getting a setting from LOGR (link below) would look spectacular!

The diamond seller is on ebay, called Diamonds by Lauren. I bought my 1.31ct diamond studs from him and they are SO well cut and VERY sparkly. He''s not the cheapest out there, but he has higher quality items. And, even though it''s not stated in his auctions, he is flexible on price - you just need to send him an email and politely negotiate. That''s what I did and I got a GREAT deal! He also has an ''upgrade'' policy, so you could buy a stone that fits the budget right now and upgrade later on if you should so choose.

Here''s a diamond I''ve been eyeing, a 0.5ct cushion cut, color E, 5.5mmx4.4mm:
http://cgi.ebay.com/50-Cushion-Diamond-Very-Well-Cut-SI2-Beauty-NICE-Price_W0QQitemZ300260853045QQihZ020QQcategoryZ3824QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262

Another diamond I personally like and is a good price (and you could always negotiate him down a bit), 0.62ct marquise cut, color K with strong blue fluorescence, 8.1mmx4.5mm:
http://cgi.ebay.com/62ct-Beautifully-Cut-Marquise-Diamond-Special-LAUREN_W0QQitemZ220296628555QQihZ012QQcategoryZ10213QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262

And here is the link to LOGR (has *great* settings). I''ve bought 3 rings and I pendant from him - all are stunning, good workmanship, and very sparkly. I hope this helps out some...
http://stores.ebay.com/Lord-of-Gem-Rings

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 10/20/2008 3:18:16 PM
Author: l0v3lif3
Does anyone think it''s even possible for her to break even?

I don''t.

Its VERY sad. I remember the same thing happening with, of all things, Beanie Babies. And its a lot easier to believe "gems" might be valuable someday. She needs an Intervention! I wonder if an appraiser would come to her home ... or a GIA trained person, to give an objective analysis. (Not individual appraisals of every stone). I have a feeling a few wise words could stop this financial bloodshed. But I doubt she''d take kindly to her future DIL "knowing better". Ooof. It hurts to hear about it!

 

[geckodani]

Or.... get an awesome band to wear as both ering and wedding ring!
Could you perhaps go for a stone and cut she doesn''t have, like an asscher cut spinel?

 

[StephCrowley]

Oh, and take a look at this diamond ring! It''s a 3 stone, 1.03ct total weight, looks gorgeous, for $1,700; BUT, I bet you could politely negotiate with him! Here are the specs. The link below provides a ton of photos of the ring.

CENTER STONE:
WEIGHT: 0.49ct
SHAPE: Round Brilliant
COLOR: F
CLARITY: I1
MEASUREMENTS: 5.10 - 5.11 x 3.00 mm
TOTAL DEPTH: 58.8%

SIDE STONES:
TOTAL WEIGHT: 0.54cts
QUANTITY: 2
SHAPE: Round Brilliant
COLOR: F
CLARITY: SI2


http://cgi.ebay.com/1-03carat-total-weight-Diamond-Band-we-pick-GREAT-CUT_W0QQitemZ280271490445QQihZ018QQcategoryZ152872QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262

 

[T L]

Wow StephCrowley, that DBL cushion is not only a great price, but a great deal and a great color!!! I bet it would fit in one of those antique style settings that DBL has for next to nothing prices. That + the setting is around $1500. It would make one heck of a ring, that's for sure.

Here's the mounting, it's gorgeous!!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Engraved-Solitaire-ring-Antique-look-heavy_W0QQitemZ270287999423QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item270287999423&_trkparms=39%3A1%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A15%7C240%3A1318&_trksid=p3911.c0.m14

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 10/20/2008 3:45:37 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 10/20/2008 3:18:16 PM

Author: l0v3lif3

Does anyone think it's even possible for her to break even?

I don't.

Its VERY sad. I remember the same thing happening with, of all things, Beanie Babies. And its a lot easier to believe 'gems' might be valuable someday. She needs an Intervention! I wonder if an appraiser would come to her home ... or a GIA trained person, to give an objective analysis. (Not individual appraisals of every stone). I have a feeling a few wise words could stop this financial bloodshed. But I doubt she'd take kindly to her future DIL 'knowing better'. Ooof. It hurts to hear about it!

I don't either...no way unfortunately...I agree with Deco, it hurts to hear about it!

 

[mercoledi]

If you like pink, I can't believe this is still not taken: 1ct pink tourmaline. How about a yummy fat orange garnet or a massive minty tourmaline? There are a lot of options.

I think the DBL three-stone is nice too. If you do want a diamond, you could also always look at OEC/OMC, some of those are cheaper. I've had my eye on this one for a while.

(Gecko, what if she does have a spinel asscher, wouldn't that be embarrassing?)


ETA: You're not a size 4.75 are you?
0.32 in a 5.5. Cool citrine in yg for cheap.

ETAA: I'm probably just being annoying now, but I'd have something cheap custom cut to fit in this lovely and be that much closer to a three stone. This might fit. If you like radiants. Which you may not.

 

[E B]

Date: 10/20/2008 4:48:53 PM
Author: mercoledi
If you like pink, I can't believe this is still not taken: 1ct pink tourmaline. How about a yummy fat orange garnet or a massive minty tourmaline? There are a lot of options.

The artist that cut those stones will also cut you a custom stone. He has a whole PILE of pink, purple and blue spinel rough just waiting to be cut into yummy rounds, barions and asschers.

As soon as funds allow, I'll be asking him to cut a little something for me.