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What is your biggest incompatibility with your spouse/SO?

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musey

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Come on, no couple is completely compatible in every way - there''s always some point of disagreement, however small. Whether it''s her love vs. his hatred of Mexican food, his hyper physicality vs. her love of movie marathons... whatever.

Ours is the weather. He cannot get enough of sun, sun, sun - where I love overcast, rainy weather. I''m probably best suited to live in a place like the pacific northwest (though I''d settle for the rainy side of a Hawaiian island
), where he thrives here in the sunny southwest. I feel withered and depressed when it''s been too long since the last rain, energized and vital during a thunderstorm. He feels groggy and depressed when it rains, instantly happy and bubbly as soon as the sun peeks out.

It''s a good thing my job requires that we live here, otherwise we''d have a REALLY hard time trying to agree on what type of climate we want to live in!
 

AmberGretchen

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I think ours is probably our level of patience and detail-oriented-ness (I know that's not a word
). My DH always really wants to know the details of how everything works, and I don't really care as long as it works. He always wants to take things apart, figure it out, and sometimes it makes me nuts because I'm so impatient
 

Lauren8211

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I''m a schedule freak. Everything needs to be done in a timely manner, and on a schedule. FF is lucky if he knows what day it is. I feel like he constantly wastes time and procrastinates, and that it affects me. It makes me angry.

Thats our biggest incompatibility.
 

upgrade

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Bizou Mom- oh that made me laugh! Been there...

I''m a procrastinator and he''s a control freak. Not always the best combo, but I love him!
 

vespergirl

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Me & DH are one of those "opposites atract" relationships, so I don''t know where to begin. Everyone tells us that we look like brother & sister, but that''s pretty much where the similarties end.

Still, most of our opposing traits are complimentary, but some are not. For instance, I''m an aggressive New Yorker, and he''s a genteel Virginia Gentelman. So, sometimes I want him to be more aggressive & decisive, while he''s all "whatever you would like, dear." Then I''m all like, "I want YOU to choose the restaurant for once!"

Overall, though, our dissimilarties work for us, because we only argue maybe twice a year.
 

Kaleigh

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Define incompatibility. I could say his driving, but does that count?? Can I just say he has to go to court tomorrow?? And got a ticket in FLA a while back. So when I was there with him, I had to do all the driving. Not a bad thing, I am a good driver. But it hurts my neck, all that backing up, in and out of parking spaces.... His lawyer in FLA went to court for him and lost. Thus while we we in FLA he got word he''s not to drive there for 30 days....


This isn''t the first time he has gotten tickets in two states. The last time, it was in ONE DAY. We were traveling to NJ.. We left PA for best friend from college. Her 30th. He pulls out, gets a ticket here. Then in NJ, gets pulled over.... I was cracking up, like WHO gets 2 tickets in one day??? He gave me the death glare,. but ya know those giggles you get, and can''t stop?? That was me!!!


He better win tomorrow, I am not driving his sorry A** all over.
 

Maisie

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He is obsessed with the house being tidy! There are 7 of us living here and it drives him mad when the house is untidy.. which is most of the time!
 

LadyBlue

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Mar 14, 2009
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My hubby said that our biggest difference is that I always think is myself, and he always thing in me
, Maybe that''s why we are good together.
 

musey

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:28:34 PM
Author: gaby06
My hubby said that our biggest difference is that I always think is myself, and he always thing in me
, Maybe that''s why we are good together.
Pardon me?


I think this is just a case of crossed wires, but that sounded dirty!!
 

Kaleigh

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:27:55 PM
Author: musey
Kaleigh- that totally counts!
Thank ya, thank ya verra much.
 

Hudson_Hawk

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Traffic. It''s not so much incompatibility, we just have different tolerance levels and reactions. FI loses his temper easily and I''m a much slower burn. He also insists on disciplining the pets while I''m in the middle of doing it-which completely confuses them and undermines my attempts at doing it. UGHH!!!
 

LamborghiniGirl

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I think we have 3 main incompatibilities, all of which I wish I had his qualities!

1) He works out 4-5 days per week and is in AMAZING shape, whereas I only ''exercise'' when I am walking to Starbucks


2) I tend to just throw my stuff down and kick off my shoes at the end of a long day and leave them there whereas he is tidy and always puts things away! I feel bad when it bothers him so much he actually starts cleaning up after me at my place...

3) He is very very conscious about accounting and saves all his receipts, which I have heard is a sign of a very responsible man handling his finances.. whereas I only keep receipts if I am planning on returning something!

Like I said... in all 3 of these areas, I wish I was more like him
 

Kaleigh

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The Thermostat. I want it hot, he wants it cold. He wants it warmer I want it colder.

The windows in the car. He wants them down, I want them up. Fine, have your's down,. but stop controlling my window...

Food. He's always trying to steal food from my plate when we are out. He's gotten forked a time or two!!!


Can you tell I am a tad bit peeved at Mr. Kaleigh???
 

princesss

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:18:52 PM
Author: vespergirl
. So, sometimes I want him to be more aggressive & decisive, while he''s all ''whatever you would like, dear.'' Then I''m all like, ''I want YOU to choose the restaurant for once!''
.
Hahahaha, Vesper, you just described my boyfriend and me. He''s the Virginia country gentleman, and I''m the loud, rash, decisive city girl. It drives me BATTY when he just says, "Okay, honey, whatever makes you happy," or says, "No, hun, I don''t care what restaurant we go to."

Other than that, our biggest incompatibility is how we see "home." For me, home is the place you go back to every now and then, but you still love and have family. For him, home is where you live and spend the majority of your time, and you go on trips from there.
 

Haven

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:30:24 PM
Author: musey
Date: 4/20/2009 8:28:34 PM
Author: gaby06
My hubby said that our biggest difference is that I always think is myself, and he always thing in me
, Maybe that''s why we are good together.
Pardon me?


I think this is just a case of crossed wires, but that sounded dirty!!
Ha! I thought the same thing!

This sounds silly, but our biggest incompatibility centers on: drink coasters.

First, he is obsessive about using them. OBSESSIVE. And he battles some serious fears that our guests won''t use them, so he puts a large pile of them in the center of our dining room table whenever I''m getting ready for company, and reminds me a gagillion times to make sure everyone uses them.

Second, he is really particular about the type of coasters. First, he rejected the solid stone-ish coasters I bought. He wanted wicker. Now, months later, he''s decided that the wicker coasters are not protective enough, he wants solid. But not too heavy, but not too thin.

Me? I can barely remember to use one, myself. And really, I just want them to match our furniture.
 

musey

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:43:52 PM
Author: LamborghiniGirl

Like I said... in all 3 of these areas, I wish I was more like him
In my experience, the good qualities start rubbing off after awhile
I''ve become a lot more patient, calm and happy since meeting my husband - all qualities he had me beat on before. Now we''re pretty even


Though I''ve also gotten messier... darn those worse qualities rubbing off, too
 

meresal

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FI is NOT a morning person, and I''m of the camp that if you wake with a smile on your face, your day will be better... there have been some interesting ones
 

musey

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:48:37 PM
Author: Haven
This sounds silly, but our biggest incompatibility centers on: drink coasters.

First, he is obsessive about using them. OBSESSIVE. And he battles some serious fears that our guests won''t use them, so he puts a large pile of them in the center of our dining room table whenever I''m getting ready for company, and reminds me a gagillion times to make sure everyone uses them.

Second, he is really particular about the type of coasters. First, he rejected the solid stone-ish coasters I bought. He wanted wicker. Now, months later, he''s decided that the wicker coasters are not protective enough, he wants solid. But not too heavy, but not too thin.

Me? I can barely remember to use one, myself. And really, I just want them to match our furniture.
Too funny!!!! We are anti-coaster around here (luckily my husband doesn''t care either way - coasters are so far off his radar). My mom was always big on putting that waterproofing seal (I dunno what it''s called, she''s the hobbyist woodworker, not me
) on our furniture because she hated coasters, so I was raised without them. I never remember to use them at others'' houses. I should work on that!!
 

Haven

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What''s that you say, Musey? Waterproofing seal?

I wonder if I can convince DH to do that on our Crate & Barrel Big Sur furniture . . . he ordered wax from England and insists that we clear everything off of it all periodically and re-wax.

Let''s just say he''s MUCH more responsible than I when it comes to caring for our home and furniture. I''m trying, though.
 

April20

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Aug 1, 2008
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Music. DH likes techno, industrial (whatever that is) and the head banging screaming stuff. I can''t stand it. I am all over the place but nothing that encompasses anything he likes. He says all I do is listen to stool pigeons. He mocks them when they come on the radio. It''s the one thing we really cannot agree on. Any extended amount of time in the car involves us constantly switching the other''s radio station to something else.
 

musey

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Date: 4/20/2009 9:05:26 PM
Author: Haven
What's that you say, Musey? Waterproofing seal?

I wonder if I can convince DH to do that on our Crate & Barrel Big Sur furniture . . . he ordered wax from England and insists that we clear everything off of it all periodically and re-wax.

Let's just say he's MUCH more responsible than I when it comes to caring for our home and furniture. I'm trying, though.
I should ask my mom about it. She did it on all our wood furniture (though to be fair, it's Ikea furniture... oh the joys of college living) when we moved in together and we've been using it sans-coasters for three years now with zero problems. Well, except for the spot where the nail polish remover leaked on the coffee table (I am not responsible enough for grown-up furniture!! lol).

In my parents' house, everything is antique... the wood is all pristine (well, as pristine as antique furniture is, you know what I mean), and I guarantee she does not wax any of it!
 

April20

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Date: 4/20/2009 8:44:25 PM
Author: Kaleigh
The Thermostat. I want it hot, he wants it cold. He wants it warmer I want it colder.

The windows in the car. He wants them down, I want them up. Fine, have your''s down,. but stop controlling my window...

Food. He''s always trying to steal food from my plate when we are out. He''s gotten forked a time or two!!!


Can you tell I am a tad bit peeved at Mr. Kaleigh???
Us too! Only I''m the one that''s always cold and he''s always hot. It makes for a nightmare in the summer months when he turns the A/C down so low I want to get the space heater out.
 

MonkeyPie

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Apr 23, 2008
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Driving. When he drives, I do something else. I don''t mind it on long trips, but during rush hour, he goes nuts! He wants to go fast and rush hour just doesn''t work that way! So I usually drive in the afternoons from work lol. And when I do the driving, he will YELL if he thinks I won''t stop in time. Like, scream! And it freaks me out and I usually slam on the brakes - even though I have plenty of room because hello, I have been driving for almost 10 years now without an accident - and then I get soooo mad. So we both avert our eyes during the others driving...lol.

Temperature. I like being comfortably warm - not hot, not cold - and he is ALWAYS hot so he cranks up the air until my teeth are chattering. It''s usually ok during the night because I tend to sleep in a blanket cocoon, but during the evenings when we are both on our computers it''s so cold! If I pout I get my way for a little while, but he really does run a lot hotter than I do, so I give in when I feel bad.
 

KimberlyH

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He lives by a daily schedule (Clean from 8-9, Pay bills from 9-10, etc.) where as I do things until they''re done, when I feel like it.
 

basil

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I always want to be near the water and my husband doesn''t. I would love to have a house right on a beach somewhere, with a little dock and panoramic views. My husband thinks that this is dangerous and we''d be swept away by a hurricane. I miss the water so much since I moved to the midwest 3 years ago that I sometimes go on real estate websites and pick out a "widow house" - the house I would purchase if my husband died young


My parents and my extended family have a few adjoining houses on a beach on an island...they are old hunting cottages and not much in the way of modern conveniences, and the island is pretty rural. There are no restaurants, no grocery stores, no movie theaters, and the only access is by boat. The only business is a little combination post office/convenience store. I love it there...DH thinks that no one should want to be in a place without restaurants and XBoxes. He says there is nothing to do there and it''s boring, I say "um, take a walk on the beach, garden, play with the dog, go for a bike ride, swim in the ocean, go sailing, dig clams, read a book, sit on the beach and drink a beer, go fishing, go on a picnic, go kayaking, pick blueberries and make a pie" or seven thousand other things you can do with your time other than play video games or eat out
 

FrekeChild

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I''m a planner. He''s not.

He also has a thing for fast food. I don''t.

Nothing that would cause a fight though really. It''s just difficult to do wedding planning...
 

kama_s

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The difference in our memory skills!!! I, fortunately (or unfortunately) can NEVER ever forget anything. He's incredibly forgetful. If only I could forget a little more, and he could remember a teeny bit more we wouldnt have conversations that go like this:

Me: Honey, did you get blah blah blah
Him: *blank stare*

Oh, and how passive he can be...whereas everything is the biggest deal ever to me. He's just so....blasé about certain things, and I just can't understand it. It's a guy thing, from what I hear.

ETA: He isn't passive about important things, like me or the wedding, or even jewelry! But I suppose he just doesn't overanalyse things to the extent I do.
 
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