What is your biggest incompatibility with your spouse/SO?

[ladypirate]

Music--we''re pretty compatible on a lot of it, but there is a big divergence where I love to listen (and sing along to) classic American hard rock (bon jovi, guns n roses, etc.) and he would much rather listen to gothic/industrial metal (type o negative, nine inch nails, etc.). Neither of us particularly likes the other''s music in this regard.

Also, I like doing things like singing, dancing, playing music and he does not. Oh well. He will at least slow dance with me around the house.

 

[Selkie]

I am hyper-aware of time, and always try to be prompt or at least plan for things running later than expected. The boy has no sense of time AND refuses to wear a watch, plus I think time just runs faster around him so he''s ALWAYS LATE. It''s my mother and father all over again. And it grates on me because I always hated it when my mother nagged about being late for stuff, so hearing myself do it to him is just downright depressing.

Also. I LOOOOOVE seafood. He''s allergic to it. I never get to cook fish unless he''s out of town.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 4/21/2009 2:25:29 PM
Author: ladypirate
Music--we''re pretty compatible on a lot of it, but there is a big divergence where I love to listen (and sing along to) classic American hard rock (bon jovi, guns n roses, etc.) and he would much rather listen to gothic/industrial metal (type o negative, nine inch nails, etc.). Neither of us particularly likes the other''s music in this regard.

Also, I like doing things like singing, dancing, playing music and he does not. Oh well. He will at least slow dance with me around the house.

LP, your SO likes Type O Negative?!?! So does mine!!! They''re so weird. Like haunted house music. LOL.

Anywho, our biggest one is probably that he likes to talk things to DEATH and I don''t. I don''t like talking in general actually. Haha. He''ll go round and round in circles but I can''t cut him off and tell him he already said that or he gets mad and pouts. It''s so irritating!!

 

[choro72]

Date: 4/21/2009 6:39:11 AM
Author: ZoeBartlett
We handle things so differently, which often causes a lot of disagreements. My husband is extremely laid back and I worry about everything. We''re both very stubborn, which doesn''t bode well during an argument. This carries over into a lot of things for us, but the major ones are:

Cleaning: I have always done most of it, which irks me to no end, because there are TWO of us living here. My husband is still living the bachelor life in that regard.

Job searching: I''d handle it so differently if I was in his position. He''s not a networker, whereas I''d talk to anyone if it could help me land a position. It''s taken him 5 months of being unemployed to begin taking certification classes to further his education and experience with different software. If I was him, I''d have looked into taking classes MONTHS ago. I think he just needs a lot of time to process things. We may come to the same conclusion about something but it might take him months before he figures out the same thing (and act on it) that I do.

Obviously I love him or we wouldn''t be together, but we do things so differently and to be honest, it''s been very stressful.

You''re not alone! It''s so frustrating watching him doodling along (at least that''s what it looks like to me).

 

[Erin]

Me Him
Democrat Republican (this is a big one)
Low Blood Pressure High Blood Pressure
Wine Beer
Carefree Worrier
Artistic Beige.
Bob Marley Bob Seger
Silver Lining Personal Storm Cloud
Planner Forgetful
Half Full Residue
Very Stylish Khakis and one of 37 striped polo shirts
House MD Cheers reruns
Treat myself Save. Save. Save.
Sexy car Ford Pick up truck
It''ll all work out Talk it to death

Crazy huh. We love each other to bits and none of these things is the reason we aren''t working out.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 4/21/2009 2:44:26 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 4/21/2009 2:25:29 PM
Author: ladypirate
Music--we''re pretty compatible on a lot of it, but there is a big divergence where I love to listen (and sing along to) classic American hard rock (bon jovi, guns n roses, etc.) and he would much rather listen to gothic/industrial metal (type o negative, nine inch nails, etc.). Neither of us particularly likes the other''s music in this regard.

Also, I like doing things like singing, dancing, playing music and he does not. Oh well. He will at least slow dance with me around the house.

LP, your SO likes Type O Negative?!?! So does mine!!! They''re so weird. Like haunted house music. LOL.

Anywho, our biggest one is probably that he likes to talk things to DEATH and I don''t. I don''t like talking in general actually. Haha. He''ll go round and round in circles but I can''t cut him off and tell him he already said that or he gets mad and pouts. It''s so irritating!!

They are weird--what''s even funnier (to me) about it is that K is super clean cut looking. Not who you would think would listen to them. He has 2 band t-shirts in his wardrobe...TON and Elvis Costello.

What a goof.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 4/21/2009 3:46:18 PM
Author: ladypirate

Date: 4/21/2009 2:44:26 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 4/21/2009 2:25:29 PM
Author: ladypirate
Music--we''re pretty compatible on a lot of it, but there is a big divergence where I love to listen (and sing along to) classic American hard rock (bon jovi, guns n roses, etc.) and he would much rather listen to gothic/industrial metal (type o negative, nine inch nails, etc.). Neither of us particularly likes the other''s music in this regard.

Also, I like doing things like singing, dancing, playing music and he does not. Oh well. He will at least slow dance with me around the house.

LP, your SO likes Type O Negative?!?! So does mine!!! They''re so weird. Like haunted house music. LOL.

Anywho, our biggest one is probably that he likes to talk things to DEATH and I don''t. I don''t like talking in general actually. Haha. He''ll go round and round in circles but I can''t cut him off and tell him he already said that or he gets mad and pouts. It''s so irritating!!

They are weird--what''s even funnier (to me) about it is that K is super clean cut looking. Not who you would think would listen to them. He has 2 band t-shirts in his wardrobe...TON and Elvis Costello.

What a goof.

LOL! Funny guy. It''s the opposite for us. I''m the Express wearing kid (for work) listening to Slipknot and Seether in my car.

FF is actually a musical dichotomy himself...if his CDs were not meticulously alphabetized, his death metal would be next to his musicals.

 

[Icce]

ZoeBartlett and choro72 I know how you feel on the job thing......I procrastinate alot but not on this as I am a big big saver and feel really bad when I am not saving! Anyways, if you hear the story from him he will me mad and hurt as he thinks he does this stuff in a reasonble time frame....(ie he thinks 5 resumes a month is alot...I would do 10 a day lol). He forgets everything....I remember stuff in detail from when I was 3. He loses his temper much easier than me and is childish in arguements (this passed month more than ever) while I am over logical and act like it is the court room....all in all its a rough time right now.

 

[elrohwen]

I think ours would be energy level. FI loooves to play sports and run around, and I''m just not very good at those things and hate going to the gym. He also gets hyper sometimes after work (usually if he hasn''t gone to the gym or played an intramural) and he just wants to rough house. Lol. I''m an only child and not good at rough housing, so sometimes I get annoyed when I''m trying to watch tv and he''s jumping on me. It''s like having an energetic puppy sometimes

 

[LaurenThePartier]

We''re actually incredibly compatible. I was reading through some of your posts, and I started to worry, because I couldn''t think of anything!!!!!

Then, it hit me. I plan. I like to have Sunday dinner with my sister and her family, and he hates having pre-existing plans. That''s kind of the crux of every single one of our past arguments over the past 7 years.

 

[beau13]

He is a morning person, gets up at 5am, heads to the gym before work. I tell him not to set the alarm until 8 am, for me, then I get the kids up, make lunches, drive them to school. I come home, and workout, that's my wakeup!!
I can stay up until midnight, he's in bed around 9:30 pm (then I wake him when it's my bedtime..

). He still manages to get up bright and early!!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 4/21/2009 8:33:07 AM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 4/21/2009 6:27:43 AM
Author: trillionaire
I love to eat, and he doesn''t love to cook.


this is a HUGE dilemma for me, bordering on being a dealbreaker. He should also bake. And feed me in bed. Daily.

LOL! Trill, mine does this (although not daily), and it is FABULOUS!!! I''m so spoiled!

He''s a great cook, which is good, because I''m . . . well . . . not such a great cook!

hehe, I jest.

He cooks and makes me breakfast in bed, but it doesn''t occur to him to start dinner until 9pm, whereas I think we should eat between 7-7:30, latest. He does bake oatmeal cookies (enthusiastically at that!) and sweet potato pie, but not brownies and cake!

CLEARLY the man needs work, I mean really...

okay, real answers:
*he can fall asleep anywhere, any time. Like, in the shower standing up, or sitting at his computer. Or at work. Or sitting on the floor. Very frustrating.
*he will choose sleep over sex, and I never do. NEVER. (we are LDR and I see him 1x per month)
*we live in different states and neither of us are willing to move yet
*I am anti wedding (eloping all the way!) but he likes the idea of a traditional wedding with his family there.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:34:01 PM
Author: beau13
He is a morning person, gets up at 5am, heads to the gym before work. I tell him not to set the alarm until 8 am, for me, then I get the kids up, make lunches, drive them to school. I come home, and workout, that''s my wakeup!!
I can stay up until midnight, he''s in bed around 9:30 pm (then I wake him when it''s my bedtime..

). He still manages to get up bright and early!!

What time do your kids start school? I have to turf mine out of bed at 7!

 

[choro72]

Holy cr@p! I didn''t realize that I copied + pasted the wrong html code

That was supposed to be a highlight font, not screaming xxlarge font. Sorry.

 

[beau13]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:42:35 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 4/21/2009 5:34:01 PM
Author: beau13
He is a morning person, gets up at 5am, heads to the gym before work. I tell him not to set the alarm until 8 am, for me, then I get the kids up, make lunches, drive them to school. I come home, and workout, that''s my wakeup!!
I can stay up until midnight, he''s in bed around 9:30 pm (then I wake him when it''s my bedtime..

). He still manages to get up bright and early!!

What time do your kids start school? I have to turf mine out of bed at 7!

They start at 9am, and I pick them up at 2:45pm. Not a whole lot of "me time" during the day. Almost 6 hrs!!

 

[Maisie]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:45:41 PM
Author: beau13

Date: 4/21/2009 5:42:35 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 4/21/2009 5:34:01 PM
Author: beau13
He is a morning person, gets up at 5am, heads to the gym before work. I tell him not to set the alarm until 8 am, for me, then I get the kids up, make lunches, drive them to school. I come home, and workout, that''s my wakeup!!
I can stay up until midnight, he''s in bed around 9:30 pm (then I wake him when it''s my bedtime..

). He still manages to get up bright and early!!

What time do your kids start school? I have to turf mine out of bed at 7!

They start at 9am, and I pick them up at 2:45pm. Not a whole lot of ''me time'' during the day. Almost 6 hrs!!

Mine start at 8.50 and the school is literally down the road but I still have to shove them out of bed early or they just won''t be sorted out in time!

So do you get in the car with your hair stood on end and in your pyjamas?

 

[beau13]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:48:05 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 4/21/2009 5:45:41 PM
Author: beau13

Date: 4/21/2009 5:42:35 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 4/21/2009 5:34:01 PM
Author: beau13
He is a morning person, gets up at 5am, heads to the gym before work. I tell him not to set the alarm until 8 am, for me, then I get the kids up, make lunches, drive them to school. I come home, and workout, that's my wakeup!!
I can stay up until midnight, he's in bed around 9:30 pm (then I wake him when it's my bedtime..

). He still manages to get up bright and early!!

What time do your kids start school? I have to turf mine out of bed at 7!

They start at 9am, and I pick them up at 2:45pm. Not a whole lot of 'me time' during the day. Almost 6 hrs!!

Mine start at 8.50 and the school is literally down the road but I still have to shove them out of bed early or they just won't be sorted out in time!

So do you get in the car with your hair stood on end and in your pyjamas?

Yes, I wear PJ's, but I don't look much different in the morning than I do before bedtime..I mean, my hair is long and straight, and I very rarely suffer from bedhead. lol. I might have puffy eyes in the a.m. sometimes, so I put on my sunglasses, grab a coat, and off I go. I've even been pulled over by a cop, coming back from school drop off..luckily it was friend, and he's seen me in my PJ's before

. No ticket..just a warning not to drive so fast near the school!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 4/21/2009 3:29:28 PM
Author: Starset Princess
Me Him
Democrat Republican (this is a big one)
Low Blood Pressure High Blood Pressure
Wine Beer
Carefree Worrier
Artistic Beige.
Bob Marley Bob Seger
Silver Lining Personal Storm Cloud
Planner Forgetful
Half Full Residue
Very Stylish Khakis and one of 37 striped polo shirts
House MD Cheers reruns
Treat myself Save. Save. Save.
Sexy car Ford Pick up truck
It''ll all work out Talk it to death

Crazy huh. We love each other to bits and none of these things is the reason we aren''t working out.

You made me laugh out loud - - talk about opposites attracting!!

 

[zoebartlett]

Irish -- doesn''t it drive you crazy?! I''ve mentioned before how we''ve gotten a cleaning service before (for just one day), and although I appreciated the work, I also felt guilty. Do you think my husband felt guilty though? Nah -- not at all.

Onedrop -- I agree about loving sunlight. As soon as I get up, I head to the living room to open the blinds. I even do it when it''s raining. My husband can go days without ever opening them, and to him, it''s no big deal. I joke that he likes living in a cave. Weather doesn''t seem to affect him much, I guess.

Honestly, I wish my husband was more like my dad in a few ways. I love how my dad handles things. He''s a neat freak, and he''s always cleaning, organizing, or vacuuming something. My husband, on the other hand, doesn''t really do any of those things. His idea of cleaning a room is doing the littlest thing, taking a long break, doing a little more, etc. It can literally take him all weekend just to take care of one room. It takes everything I have not to blow up at him over this at times.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 4/20/2009 8:14:23 PM
Author: BizouMom
His mother

Oh. Heck. Yes.

Weekend after next, we''re heading up to Dallas for a visit. Gosh, I can''t wait.

 

[kiett98]

Two that I tease him about all the time...

1. He loves sci fi movies- especially the cheesy ones with a huge spider that eats people that come on the Sci Fi network (and it goes without saying that I don''t).

2. I am very punctual and live by the motto "If you are early you are on time. If you are on time you are late. And if you are late don''t bother showing up!" His motto, on the other hand, is "Better late than never!"

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 4/20/2009 8:37:16 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Traffic. It''s not so much incompatibility, we just have different tolerance levels and reactions. FI loses his temper easily and I''m a much slower burn. He also insists on disciplining the pets while I''m in the middle of doing it-which completely confuses them and undermines my attempts at doing it. UGHH!!!

OMG HH this would make me NUTS - fortunately, DH and I train dogs together at the shelter, so we''ve both learned the same training methods and theories, so we mostly see eye-to-eye on this.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 4/20/2009 8:44:25 PM
Author: Kaleigh
The Thermostat. I want it hot, he wants it cold. He wants it warmer I want it colder.


The windows in the car. He wants them down, I want them up. Fine, have your''s down,. but stop controlling my window...


Food. He''s always trying to steal food from my plate when we are out. He''s gotten forked a time or two!!!

Can you tell I am a tad bit peeved at Mr. Kaleigh???

OMG "forked" ROFL

I can totally picture Mr. Kaleigh getting forked

I think you should tell him he needs to buy you something pretty so you''re not peeved any more

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 4/20/2009 10:25:33 PM
Author: Kelli
He wants me to cuddle all night, but he freakin SNORES all night! He''s also a little more laid back about scheduling stuff than I am. I like to know what''s going on, he likes to do things more spur of the moment.

Oh Kelli - I really feel for you! My DH has been snoring lately because his allergies have been bad, and its dreadful - I can''t even imagine if he did it all the time...

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 4/21/2009 11:21:23 AM
Author: dragonfly411
SO hates books.... he was raised in a very non reading background. He also doesn''t like to write, and also doesn''t like more than just country music.


I on the other hand LOVE books, read daily, keep a large library, love to write and I love all music (save maybe Gospel).


We''re going back and forth on the idea of dedicating a room in our future house to a library for me hehe

I would LOVE to have a library - that sounds amazing. I''m with you, I LOVE reading

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 4/21/2009 5:39:08 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 4/21/2009 8:33:07 AM

Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 4/21/2009 6:27:43 AM

Author: trillionaire

I love to eat, and he doesn''t love to cook.



this is a HUGE dilemma for me, bordering on being a dealbreaker. He should also bake. And feed me in bed. Daily.

LOL! Trill, mine does this (although not daily), and it is FABULOUS!!! I''m so spoiled!

He''s a great cook, which is good, because I''m . . . well . . . not such a great cook!

hehe, I jest.


He cooks and makes me breakfast in bed, but it doesn''t occur to him to start dinner until 9pm, whereas I think we should eat between 7-7:30, latest. He does bake oatmeal cookies (enthusiastically at that!) and sweet potato pie, but not brownies and cake!

CLEARLY the man needs work, I mean really...

okay, real answers:

*he can fall asleep anywhere, any time. Like, in the shower standing up, or sitting at his computer. Or at work. Or sitting on the floor. Very frustrating.

*he will choose sleep over sex, and I never do. NEVER. (we are LDR and I see him 1x per month)

*we live in different states and neither of us are willing to move yet

*I am anti wedding (eloping all the way!) but he likes the idea of a traditional wedding with his family there.

OMG trillionaire - LOL @ falling asleep in the shower. I''ve always been impressed with people who are like that - I am a horrible sleeper, and it so impresses me when people can sleep anywhere, any time...

 

[AmberGretchen]

Oh, and it seems like we have a LOT of punctual ladies on here with late SO''s - I wonder what that is about?

My DH is a little bit like that, except randomly, he gets really uptight about being on time/early to certain things, and then he is a pain about it. Of course, too early is not OK either - he won''t let me show up for anything more than 10 minutes early because he thinks its rude

 

[iluvcarats]

My DH sleeps 4 or 5 hours a night - that's it. And he is always happy.
I'm still grumpy on 7 or 8

He also loves mountain biking. I'll do it with him, but I don't love it.
Certainly not enough to spend my weekends doing trail work and attending county meetings to open more trails....

Otherwise, we are totally on the *same page*

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

DH insists on reading the newspaper to me. Make me crazy. Actually he just likes to talk all the time--I like solitude.

cheers--Sharon

 

[nytemist]

I like things neat and clean, he does not. This is the biggest issue.
I''m a night owl, he passes out in front of the tv by 8-8:30.
I eat healthy for the most part, he hates anything green and not processed.
I want to have a plan for the rod ahead in our lives, future seems to be a bad word to him.

Unfotunately, the list has gotten longer since after getting married and living with him.

Ladypirate- your husband and I could spend a day with the stereo cranked. (Type O negative, NIN, Bella Morte, My Dying Bride...)