What is the most challenging issue you are dealing with right now?

[HappyNewLife]

My darling husband of 21 years was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in June this year - the diagnosis came out of nowhere.

He flew through the first cycle of chemo (velcade/thalidomide/dexamethozone) with no ill effects and was continuing to work

During the third cycle he started to lose feeling in his feet and lower legs - chemo was stopped and the hope was the effects would subside.

They got worse - he fell twice, once so badly in our bathroom he pulled the basin off the wall. He was admitted for his own safety and started a new course of chemo - eshap - which is 8 hours a day for four days hooked up.

He was sick as a dog and retained so much fluid he couldn’t move. He also had radiotherapy to try and relieve pressure on his spine and help his balance

He was discharged but fell again; he’s now back in hospital for his next chemo - he hates it and it was a struggle to get him in. Hospital forgot to prescribe gcsf injections so his blood count was too low to start. He is coming to the end of his second cycle but he needed an emergency blood transfusion as oxygen levels dropped yesterday.

We have another set of eshap before Christmas, then a stem cell harvest before he has a stem cell transplant in January/February next year

This won’t cure him, the cancer will come back and will kill him. He is 46, I’m 47 and our son is 20 and in his final year of university. My dh cannot walk unaided - our life has changed beyond all recognition.

How do I cope? I look at diamonds and jewellery on the internet and stare into the depths of the jewellery he has given me so centre myself! Sometimes it even works!

TL DR husband seriously ill, I look at sparkly things

I'm so sorry you're going through this. <3

 

[GK2]

Well, I don’t have many other outlets, so I thought I would post here. My husband was recently diagnosed with brain cancer, and we’re just beginning the chemo/radiation journey, and it’s overwhelming at times. I definitely understand what you’re going though @GK2. We’re at the very beginning of the chemo/radiation, so no side effects from that yet, but he’s still relearning how to do things for himself after having surgery. On top of that, we have a 3 year old, and I worry so much about her growing up without her father. I can laugh at my past self that used to feel tired from normal things because now I feel bone deep exhaustion every day just from trying to do everything I need to do.

Coda72 - my heart absolutely aches for you right now. This won’t be easy - especially with a little one - and there will be times when you just don’t feel you have the energy to put one foot in front if the other. You’ll do it though - we both will, because our dhs need us to.

I get what you say about the exhaustion - it’s mentally and physically draining watching the person you love struggle to walk or dress or figure out how to bring a drink from the kitchen to the living room. I’ve just collected a wheelchair for my husband - never thought at the start of this year that’s what I would be doing.

Hugs to you and your family - please use this community to help support you if you want.

 

[GK2]

Missy - I’ve just realised I never said thank you for starting this thread. You are always thinking of others, so a huge thanks from across the Atlantic from me

 

[House Cat]

I get very emotional thinking of the strength in the people on this thread. You all are going through so much. I admire you greatly.


And by the way...yes, you can check out and live under your covers. People do that all of the time! I’ve seen immediate family members avoid responsibility in all sorts of ways.

I’m keeping you guys in my heart.

 

[lyra]

This thread has been overwhelming. I wish I could actually do something for everyone. If I was there with you (any of you), my main resource is humour. I would have you laughing at something. I can always find something to laugh about. At least something to smile about. I live day by day. At times it has been as grim as minute by minute, but day by day is something most folks can work up to. Take care everyone.

 

[whitewave]

Sometimes all you can do is breathe.

 

[Tekate]

Missy! you are such a sweet heart.. I thank you. This has been the hardest year of my life since my dad died in 07 and to say he was 83 and willing to go (he had a choice call 911 or lie down and see if I feel better, he didn't and died but he had a choice). I thank you so much.

Tekate I am so sorry about the loss of your dear sister and accepting our loved ones death is one of the most challenging things in life I think. (((Hugs))).

Begonia, big (((hugs))). I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this and keeping you in my thoughts. If this means anything in my heart I think you and your dh will be OK. Sending buckets of good luck dust and health your way. I am here for you any way I can be. Always here to listen on and offline. XOXO.

GK2 more big (((Hugs))) to you and your dh and sending lots of healing dust and good thoughts your way.

Karl (((hugs))) and I agree. Helping others helps us no question. Hoping good health is restored to you soon and that you find an amazing dream job.

Resonance.Of.Life, my heart goes out to you and your sweet fur babies...sending tons and tons of healing dust and good thoughts. And gentle (((hugs))). Thank you for doing all you are doing.

Elliot thinking good thoughts for you and sending love and hugs to you.

t-c good luck with your next adventure and follow your heart and your gut. (((Hugs))).

Queenie I'm sorry you are dealing with this and sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

Lyra so sorry about the fall (I can relate believe me as I am a huge klutz) and I am glad you didn't injure yourself worse and I hope you are feeling better very soon. Don't worry about what others think sweetie. I know it's easier said than done. (((Hugs))).

Alex I am sorry honey. (((Hugs))). Hope you are back playing the piano sooner than you think.

Stracci sending you good health vibes and hope you can get the discount on your health insurance.

StephanieLynn I am so very sorry about your beloved cat's diagnosis. And I hope things work out with your dh's job. (((hugs))).

Snowdrop I get it and hope your ds does very well on his exams. And sending you hugs and comfort. You are a great mom and doing everything you can do.

DK sending good thoughts your way and hope that everything works out. Don't beat yourself up. Hindsight is always 20/20. (((Hugs))).

 

[Tekate]

GK2, my heart to yours. Please keep up informed how YOU and your DH is doing. Hugs.

Thank you HouseCat. It’s funny what becomes normal and what you can adjust to when there isn’t an alternative

 

[kenny]

What is the most challenging issue you are dealing with right now?

How religions have fvcked up the world by damaging healthy, critical, and rational thinking in billions of brains.

It's the elephant in the world's living room that nobody wants to notice.
It's not polite.
Everyone prefers to 'be nice'.
Meanwhile mankind self destructs.

 

[Tekate]

AprilBaby so sorry to read this I have had both my hips replaced and one is just not right, are you having pain still? I can only put my tonnnage (weight) on one hip.. I am not in pain anymore but it's scary going up stairs. I send you a hug (hugely) and hope all goes well, they seem to consistently seem to improve these surgeries. Please let us know how you are doing after the next one for sure. If you would, please highlight me so I am sure to see how you are doing. Peace to you.

I had a knee replacement 4 years ago that still gives complications and now I need the other one done. I’m tired of the bad legs. Not getting any exercise.

 

[Tekate]

Hugs to you Karl, you are a brilliant guy so I send dust to lead you to a new job and better health. Sorry to read especially about the pneumonia as I have had it a few times myself. Take care and thinking of you. Tekate

thoughts and prayers outgoing for all who are having troubles.

 

[Tekate]

((HOUSECAT))) my heart to yours dear. I am so sorry and so happy you have a good spouse. I care.

I am still dealing with the emotional fallout from seeing the man who raped me 20 years ago. Actually, this is affecting my whole family...my sweet family.

There is nothing in my value system that aligns with this string of events. How does someone get to do something so ugly and life altering to someone else and then go on to live a normal life with beautiful children? Meanwhile, I am falling apart?

Movies always made it seem as though I was supposed to be the one with the happily ever after.

The trauma leaves me feeling completely unsafe and alone and flooded in flashbacks. My mind is hypervigilant and looks everywhere in my life for places where I might be unsafe. I become convinced that my kids don’t love me, my husband doesn’t love me, that he’s having an affair, that I will be all alone at any minute.

I’m doing a lot of therapy. My husband and I are doing a lot of couple’s therapy. I am so grateful that he is willing to put in the work to make me feel safe and loved.

I am not coping in the healthiest of ways. I shop, which keeps me from being alone. I eat out, which puts me out in a vibrant atmosphere. I try to enjoy every crumb of positivity in my life. Somehow I still get overwhelmed in darkness.

My therapist tells me that I am trying too hard to get well. That I need to allow the healing to come more naturally but I”m a control freak!!! I am learning to lean into the process of healing. I am learning to witness what this whole event is teaching me...almost like stepping back and watching it from the outside. The lessons are difficult ones. Life isn’t like the movies. Bad guys win often. A person can hurt for a lifetime but still go on and feel joy in spite of it. My family loves the shit out of me even when I’m not perfect.

 

[yennyfire]

So I read this thread yesterday and started to post, but then (honestly), felt so overwhelmed at all of the terrible stuff my PS friends are struggling with, I just couldn't form the words.

My problems are trite by comparison (not that anyone could or should compare). I am dealing with crippling anxiety, which has resulted in depression. I am struggling to get out of bed every morning and get through the daily tasks of showering, brushing my teeth, getting kids off to school, meal planning, etc. I know that sounds ridiculous, but when I look at my "to do" list, I get overwhelmed (I am the person who never says "no" to anything or anyone, and as a result, I am the President of several boards and am involved in a million things to the point that there aren't enough hours in the day). My two tweens (11 and 13) have crazy schedules too, and my husband travels, so very often, I'm a single parent, trying to get kids to activities across town from one another at the same time of day (or doing elaborate contortions with other parents to work out who can take and who can pick up...sometimes, I'm afraid I'll just flake and forget someone!) We usually roll into the garage at about 9:45 pm and I'm ready to collapse. I just don't want to do it anymore, but I'm also a firm believer in finishing what you start, which means honoring whatever commitment it is that I've made. I'm slowly extricating myself from these commitments and I do think that life will be calmer at least. I do think that I need to deal with the underlying issues.

The funny thing is, if you met me, you'd never have a clue that I feel completely incompetent about everything in life. I graduated cum laude with a MS from a Top 25 University, I worked at an executive level for some pretty large companies (Accenture, GE, etc.). While I always appeared prepared and confident, inside I felt like the biggest fraud. I feel socially awkward and don't know how to make and cultivate friendships. I feel very isolated and lonely, even when standing in a crowd of people I know.

Like many of you, I use bling as a distraction...unfortunately, my precious sparklies only distract me for so long.

Clearly, I need some help, so I finally reached out to a counselor and have my first appt. on Thursday. Fingers crossed she can help me.

I am sending prayers and hugs to all of you. @missy thanks for starting this thread. I have not said a word about how I'm feeling to a living soul (hubby included), so unburdening myself here feels cathartic and actually helps to provide perspective.

 

[monarch64]

Yenny! Damn lady, start saying no and hire a helper! Good for you for making the appointment. You will feel so much better after you talk to someone and you can make a plan of how to move forward. Hugs!

 

[smitcompton]

Hi Yennie,

You have been so responsible your whole life that you haven't stopped to decide what you may or may not want to do anymore. A good therapist will help you sort it out. You have taken on too much and probably feel guilty or confused on letting go. But. let go you must. Somedays you can have nothing to do, which is lovely and helps to refocus. You can do this. Looking forward to freedom is a great feeling. You do not have to be perfect or even near perfect. We can tell you are a nice person and people will like you.

If you don't like the therapist, find another. Only do the things you like with the exception of the children. They are not so easy to deal with. Good Luck, darlin.

Annette

 

[yennyfire]

Yenny! Damn lady, start saying no and hire a helper! Good for you for making the appointment. You will feel so much better after you talk to someone and you can make a plan of how to move forward. Hugs!

Thanks Monnie! I have been practicing saying no a lot (I already said no to a third year as neighborhood HOA President)...yes, I think having someone I can be real with (no mask) will be tremendously helpful.

Hi Yennie,

You have been so responsible your whole life that you haven't stopped to decide what you may or may not want to do anymore. A good therapist will help you sort it out. You have taken on too much and probably feel guilty or confused on letting go. But. let go you must. Somedays you can have nothing to do, which is lovely and helps to refocus. You can do this. Looking forward to freedom is a great feeling. You do not have to be perfect or even near perfect. We can tell you are a nice person and people will like you.

If you don't like the therapist, find another. Only do the things you like with the exception of the children. They are not so easy to deal with. Good Luck, darlin.

Annette

Thanks Annette, you are quite right. I've been doing what I'm "supposed" to do for so long, that I don't even know what I want anymore. I guess underneath it all is my feeling of self worth (or lack thereof)...if I make myself indispensable to everyone, I have value...otherwise, no one will need me or want to be around me. I am a perfectionist and don't like to fail (which is ironic, because I'm always telling my kids that it's ok to fail...it's what you learn from it that counts!)...thanks for the advice on finding a therapist that I like (or at least who challenges me to really do the work that I need to do)....

 

[whitewave]

Thanks Monnie! I have been practicing saying no a lot (I already said no to a third year as neighborhood HOA President)...yes, I think having someone I can be real with (no mask) will be tremendously helpful.



Thanks Annette, you are quite right. I've been doing what I'm "supposed" to do for so long, that I don't even know what I want anymore. I guess underneath it all is my feeling of self worth (or lack thereof)...if I make myself indispensable to everyone, I have value...otherwise, no one will need me or want to be around me. I am a perfectionist and don't like to fail (which is ironic, because I'm always telling my kids that it's ok to fail...it's what you learn from it that counts!)...thanks for the advice on finding a therapist that I like (or at least who challenges me to really do the work that I need to do)....

This is what happened to me-- couldn't be competent and handle everything for everyone any longer. I hear ya. Finish what you started is one thing, but knowing when to give up to care for yourself is another thing. It is ok to put yourself first.

 

[Calliecake]

@yennyfire , You have done a wonderful job of making and cultivating friendships here honey. You are loved here and I'm pretty confident we aren't the only people who think you are wonderful. Please take Annette's advice above. If you don't click with this counselor, find another one. I hope you begin feeling better soon. Hugs, hugs, hugs

 

[yennyfire]

This is what happened to me-- couldn't be competent and handle everything for everyone any longer. I hear ya. Finish what you started is one thing, but knowing when to give up to care for yourself is another thing. It is ok to put yourself first.

Thanks whitewave. I know I'm not alone and the truth is, I have so much to be thankful for. I just need to find some balance and purpose. I'm sorry to hear that you've been in this position and continue to struggle with your own demons.

@yennyfire , You have done a wonderful job of making and cultivating friendships here honey. You are loved here and I'm pretty confident we aren't the only people who think you are wonderful. Please take Annette's advice above. If you don't click with this counselor, find another one. I hope you begin feeling better soon. Hugs, hugs, hugs

Aww, @Calliecake, thank you. Your kindness is so very much appreciated. I feel like such a grumpy, mean person sometimes (the inner voice in my head, saying nasty things about people who have asked me to do stuff for them) that hearing that this isn't how you perceive me is a tremendous relief! Hugs back at you sweet lady!

 

[Calliecake]

@House Cat , I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time and am so glad you have a wonderful family to help you. Please be kind to yourself. You have been thru so much. I hope you know we are here for you if want to talk. Hugs

@GT2 and @coda72 I'm sorry you are going thru this. Please let us know how you and your spouse are doing and if there is anything we can do to help. It sounds like you are taking care of everyone and everything. Please remember to take good care of yourself too.

 

[Calliecake]

@whitewave You have been thru a lot lately. Worrying about those you love is exhausting. Please take good care of yourself. I hope you to start to feel better soon.

 

[coda72]

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. I can’t gather my thoughts enough to respond to everyone individually right now, but believe me, your posts help me more than you know. They made me feel slightly less alone in facing this awful experience.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Big Hugs for everyone on this thread.

 

[partgypsy]

I'm not normally a sharer. Biggest stressor is going through divorce, and working ft while being primary caregiver. Other things going on this month, my fil being seriously ill and the burden on my mil, both whom I love. My youngest daughter finally getting a diagnosis for her learning difficulties (auditory processing disorders), my mother selling her house and having to get rid of 80% of her belongings, and my older dog becoming incontinent. I also work for the government, and there is alot of uncertainty. Reading forums, walking my dog, and working on art relaxes me.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

This thread has been overwhelming. I wish I could actually do something for everyone. If I was there with you (any of you), my main resource is humour. I would have you laughing at something. I can always find something to laugh about. At least something to smile about. I live day by day. At times it has been as grim as minute by minute, but day by day is something most folks can work up to. Take care everyone.

I was feeling exactly like you, @lyra , thanks for wording this so precisely. My heart goes out to all of you!
Take care!!

 

[House Cat]

So I read this thread yesterday and started to post, but then (honestly), felt so overwhelmed at all of the terrible stuff my PS friends are struggling with, I just couldn't form the words.

My problems are trite by comparison (not that anyone could or should compare). I am dealing with crippling anxiety, which has resulted in depression. I am struggling to get out of bed every morning and get through the daily tasks of showering, brushing my teeth, getting kids off to school, meal planning, etc. I know that sounds ridiculous, but when I look at my "to do" list, I get overwhelmed (I am the person who never says "no" to anything or anyone, and as a result, I am the President of several boards and am involved in a million things to the point that there aren't enough hours in the day). My two tweens (11 and 13) have crazy schedules too, and my husband travels, so very often, I'm a single parent, trying to get kids to activities across town from one another at the same time of day (or doing elaborate contortions with other parents to work out who can take and who can pick up...sometimes, I'm afraid I'll just flake and forget someone!) We usually roll into the garage at about 9:45 pm and I'm ready to collapse. I just don't want to do it anymore, but I'm also a firm believer in finishing what you start, which means honoring whatever commitment it is that I've made. I'm slowly extricating myself from these commitments and I do think that life will be calmer at least. I do think that I need to deal with the underlying issues.

The funny thing is, if you met me, you'd never have a clue that I feel completely incompetent about everything in life. I graduated cum laude with a MS from a Top 25 University, I worked at an executive level for some pretty large companies (Accenture, GE, etc.). While I always appeared prepared and confident, inside I felt like the biggest fraud. I feel socially awkward and don't know how to make and cultivate friendships. I feel very isolated and lonely, even when standing in a crowd of people I know.

Like many of you, I use bling as a distraction...unfortunately, my precious sparklies only distract me for so long.

Clearly, I need some help, so I finally reached out to a counselor and have my first appt. on Thursday. Fingers crossed she can help me.

I am sending prayers and hugs to all of you. @missy thanks for starting this thread. I have not said a word about how I'm feeling to a living soul (hubby included), so unburdening myself here feels cathartic and actually helps to provide perspective.

Yenny, I am sending you the biggest hugs. Good luck with your counselor tomorrow. I hope you can find some healing in therapy. A good therapist can be a life saver in tough times.

Something really stuck out to me when reading what you wrote about all of your successes yet you feel like a fraud. It might help to read about “imposter syndrome.” Hopefully, it will help you to feel not so alone. Many people feel just like you do.

Big hugs.

 

[Missy]

What is the most challenging issue you are dealing with right now?

How religions have fvcked up the world by damaging healthy, critical, and rational thinking in billions of brains.

It's the elephant in the world's living room that nobody wants to notice.
It's not polite.
Everyone prefers to 'be nice'.
Meanwhile mankind self destructs.

Yes I agree. We can be too PC for our own good right now (with the exception of our orange hair leader that is blechhh) and it is leading us right to our own destruction.
As George Carlin said “The planet is fine. The people are f*cked.”

And while I respect the right of others to pray to whomever they want and to believe whatever they believe (and I do respect that right and am tolerant of others religious beliefs as I hope they are tolerant of mine) I respect that right only as long as it doesn't impact others in any negative way. That is, believe what you want to believe but don't tell me or others what to do and how to be. Please.

How many (all?) wars were fought in the name of religion I wonder. How many people murdered in the name of religion. And how many hurt in the name of religion. Or at least under the guise of religion. Religion can be used as a dangerous weapon and it can (and often does) serve to separate and divide and hurt and kill. All in the name of religion.

 

[Missy]

So I read this thread yesterday and started to post, but then (honestly), felt so overwhelmed at all of the terrible stuff my PS friends are struggling with, I just couldn't form the words.

My problems are trite by comparison (not that anyone could or should compare). I am dealing with crippling anxiety, which has resulted in depression. I am struggling to get out of bed every morning and get through the daily tasks of showering, brushing my teeth, getting kids off to school, meal planning, etc. I know that sounds ridiculous, but when I look at my "to do" list, I get overwhelmed (I am the person who never says "no" to anything or anyone, and as a result, I am the President of several boards and am involved in a million things to the point that there aren't enough hours in the day). My two tweens (11 and 13) have crazy schedules too, and my husband travels, so very often, I'm a single parent, trying to get kids to activities across town from one another at the same time of day (or doing elaborate contortions with other parents to work out who can take and who can pick up...sometimes, I'm afraid I'll just flake and forget someone!) We usually roll into the garage at about 9:45 pm and I'm ready to collapse. I just don't want to do it anymore, but I'm also a firm believer in finishing what you start, which means honoring whatever commitment it is that I've made. I'm slowly extricating myself from these commitments and I do think that life will be calmer at least. I do think that I need to deal with the underlying issues.

The funny thing is, if you met me, you'd never have a clue that I feel completely incompetent about everything in life. I graduated cum laude with a MS from a Top 25 University, I worked at an executive level for some pretty large companies (Accenture, GE, etc.). While I always appeared prepared and confident, inside I felt like the biggest fraud. I feel socially awkward and don't know how to make and cultivate friendships. I feel very isolated and lonely, even when standing in a crowd of people I know.

Like many of you, I use bling as a distraction...unfortunately, my precious sparklies only distract me for so long.

Clearly, I need some help, so I finally reached out to a counselor and have my first appt. on Thursday. Fingers crossed she can help me.

I am sending prayers and hugs to all of you. @missy thanks for starting this thread. I have not said a word about how I'm feeling to a living soul (hubby included), so unburdening myself here feels cathartic and actually helps to provide perspective.

Yenny I adore you and I am glad you are able to share here and it is a catharsis of sorts for you. Sending you big hugs and much love and by the way WOWzer on your new setting. I have to say it is so much better than the original setting. Your initial vision was spot on my dear! And I am sorry I didn't see that right away when you shared pics with me. I agree completely this is heads and heels above the original!!!

You are a kind generous warm and wonderful strong woman and know how many here care about you and know we are here to listen and do whatever else we can. Life is challenging and life is hard. No doubt about it. (((HUGS))).

I'm not normally a sharer. Biggest stressor is going through divorce, and working ft while being primary caregiver. Other things going on this month, my fil being seriously ill and the burden on my mil, both whom I love. My youngest daughter finally getting a diagnosis for her learning difficulties (auditory processing disorders), my mother selling her house and having to get rid of 80% of her belongings, and my older dog becoming incontinent. I also work for the government, and there is alot of uncertainty. Reading forums, walking my dog, and working on art relaxes me.

Thinking of you partgypsy and sending you good wishes and (((hugs))).

 

[yennyfire]

Yenny, I am sending you the biggest hugs. Good luck with your counselor tomorrow. I hope you can find some healing in therapy. A good therapist can be a life saver in tough times.

Something really stuck out to me when reading what you wrote about all of your successes yet you feel like a fraud. It might help to read about “imposter syndrome.” Hopefully, it will help you to feel not so alone. Many people feel just like you do.

Big hugs.

Thanks @House Cat! I'll definitely google imposter syndrome, thank you. I'm sure that I'm not alone and the glass half full way to look at it would be "fake it til you make it", but somehow, I make myself physically ill sometimes, worrying about not being able to do something (facilitating a meeting, managing a youth group event, etc.) Definitely something a good counselor can help me with!

Yenny I adore you and I am glad you are able to share here and it is a catharsis of sorts for you. Sending you big hugs and much love and by the way WOWzer on your new setting. I have to say it is so much better than the original setting. Your initial vision was spot on my dear! And I am sorry I didn't see that right away when you shared pics with me. I agree completely this is heads and heels above the original!!!

You are a kind generous warm and wonderful strong woman and know how many here care about you and know we are here to listen and do whatever else we can. Life is challenging and life is hard. No doubt about it. (((HUGS))).
QUOTE]

Missy, I adore you and almost feel like you gave me a physical hug with your kind words. Thanks for the Bertie love! You were also one who helped guide me to the decision to have her redone and I'm grateful and so glad that you did! Yup, life is hard and we have to learn to weather the ups and downs with grace and aplomb! I'm still working on that, for sure! But this thread has really been tremendously helpful, so thanks for starting it!

 

[yennyfire]

Yenny, I am sending you the biggest hugs. Good luck with your counselor tomorrow. I hope you can find some healing in therapy. A good therapist can be a life saver in tough times.

Something really stuck out to me when reading what you wrote about all of your successes yet you feel like a fraud. It might help to read about “imposter syndrome.” Hopefully, it will help you to feel not so alone. Many people feel just like you do.

Big hugs.

Thanks @House Cat! I'll definitely google imposter syndrome, thank you. I'm sure that I'm not alone and the glass half full way to look at it would be "fake it til you make it", but somehow, I make myself physically ill sometimes, worrying about not being able to do something (facilitating a meeting, managing a youth group event, etc.) Definitely something a good counselor can help me with!

Yenny I adore you and I am glad you are able to share here and it is a catharsis of sorts for you. Sending you big hugs and much love and by the way WOWzer on your new setting. I have to say it is so much better than the original setting. Your initial vision was spot on my dear! And I am sorry I didn't see that right away when you shared pics with me. I agree completely this is heads and heels above the original!!!

You are a kind generous warm and wonderful strong woman and know how many here care about you and know we are here to listen and do whatever else we can. Life is challenging and life is hard. No doubt about it. (((HUGS))).
QUOTE]

Missy, I adore you and almost feel like you gave me a physical hug with your kind words. Thanks for the Bertie love! You were also one who helped guide me to the decision to have her redone and I'm grateful and so glad that you did! Yup, life is hard and we have to learn to weather the ups and downs with grace and aplomb! I'm still working on that, for sure! But this thread has really been tremendously helpful, so thanks for starting it!