What if a girl wore white to your wedding?

[Clairitek]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:19:41 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Ally-I''m within driving distance of Montreal and I know the way well...I can hit the tax free liquor store in NH on the way up to stock up on wine...I can be there within a few hours, just say the word...

Hahahaha. Oh man. I hope we meet sometime H_H. I think we would get along juuuuuust fine.

Ally- give me 4 hours to get to H_H''s place and we will be on the road! I <3 the tax free liquor store in NH.

 

[Barcelona]

I didn''t mean to imply you were being a bridezilla at all! I''m just saying there are so many other wonderful things that will happen on your wedding day, that she isn''t worth the time and don''t let her be the one thing you fixate on. Trust me, the day goes by so quickly that you might even forget until you get the photos back! But hopefully your photographer won''t even take her picture!

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/16/2009 6:17:33 AM
Author: allycat0303


Eeek. So many things to clarify.

Meresal, DLSecret: Is this girl hot?? Let me break it down:

a) She a nurse (which is just about the hottest profession in guy fantasy world)
b) She is tall (5'8?)
c) She is half my size (i.e her body is that of a model, like almost scary thin but on pictures. WOW!)
d) She is blond
e) She dresses very,very hot

Although we will say that her face is not attractive. Below average, but the combination is still stunning. I'm outgunned here!!! If fiance found her attractive, she's the complete opposite of me, so I don't think I would stand a chance. But she really is not his type. M is this loud, flirty with all the guys, touchy-feely girl. Does she want my fiance? Sure. I just can't see it happening. Usually, E is usually very *correct* in social situations. In their defense, in Quebec, people RARELY get married. This is the first wedding for both of them, so I don't think E knows.

Hey ally, I just wanted to let you know, I don't think it has anything to do with your FI wanting to "be" with this girl over you. That is rarely the case. Ususally people like this are guys/girls that "think" they would love to be with this other person, but in reality it would last about a month before self destructing. He uis human and it happens to many people. It will end eventually.
You'll be fine sweetie! She'll show her true colors eventually, and he'll see her for the skeez she actually is. However, it seems right now, that anything you do or say that nullifies how "amazingly awesome and sweet she is to your FI", is just going to fall on deaf ears.

Good luck hun!! Just keep laughing

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/15/2009 8:40:53 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor

Date: 5/15/2009 8:29:18 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM
Author: princesss

And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, 'I'm a tacky-a** b****!' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else's wedding (in a culture where that's not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a 'tacky...' (no need to repeat) for doing so.

Let's put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.

Kimberly, I think that people are probably so accustomed to the rule being no white at someone elses wedding, that it's okay to make a blanket statement. What this girl is doing is ignoring that 'rule' and taking it to the extreme by wearing an actual wedding dress. That is totally different that your Mom wearing a white dress.

Italia, I agree this woman is way out of line. That being said, it's also customary for people not to wear black to weddings, but we see brides select that color all of the time, what was once tradition is pretty much ignored now, so my point is that it seems ridiculous to say anyone who wears white is out of line and the bride has a right to be angry. In ally's case she has every reason to be uspet, but many brides have said they wouldn't care, or even notice, and it's not such a big deal, that was my point.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/15/2009 8:46:20 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 5/15/2009 8:29:18 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM

Author: princesss


And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, ''I''m a tacky-a** b****!'' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else''s wedding (in a culture where that''s not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a ''tacky...'' (no need to repeat) for doing so.


Let''s put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.


Ally, it''s nuts that she''s wearing a wedding dress, and even more crazy that your fiance won''t stick up for you. Time to put your foot down, my friend.

Kim, I''m sorry, I truly didn''t mean offense. I was trying to make light of the situation to make Ally laugh. Note I didn''t say, ''White,'' I said, ''Semi-bridal.'' This wedding dress and wedding dress imitations are semi-bridal. Just being white doesn''t make something bridal. I''m sure your mother looked lovely.

princess, none taken. I was just trying to point out that not everyone finds this practice, guests wearing white, offensive. I totally understand why you said what you did, I just wanted to throw it out there that not everyone finds this to be offensive. And my mom is a bit tacky (she wears mom jeans for goodness sake) but she couldn''t have looked more beautiful on my wedding day.

 

[KimberlyH]

Ally, you are so not being a bridezilla. This chick is whackadoo, and totally out of line. I''m sorry your fiance won''t stand up for you without being pushed. Just remember she''s going to look like a nut in that dress on your wedding day.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/16/2009 11:17:45 AM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/15/2009 8:40:53 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor

Date: 5/15/2009 8:29:18 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM
Author: princesss

And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, ''I''m a tacky-a** b****!'' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else''s wedding (in a culture where that''s not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a ''tacky...'' (no need to repeat) for doing so.

Let''s put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.

Kimberly, I think that people are probably so accustomed to the rule being no white at someone elses wedding, that it''s okay to make a blanket statement. What this girl is doing is ignoring that ''rule'' and taking it to the extreme by wearing an actual wedding dress. That is totally different that your Mom wearing a white dress.

Italia, I agree this woman is way out of line. That being said, it''s also customary for people not to wear black to weddings, but we see brides select that color all of the time, what was once tradition is pretty much ignored now, so my point is that it seems ridiculous to say anyone who wears white is out of line and the bride has a right to be angry. In ally''s case she has every reason to be uspet, but many brides have said they wouldn''t care, or even notice, and it''s not such a big deal, that was my point.

Kimberly--I agree with you. I find it amusing that so many brides take offense to wearing white to a wedding, yet they don''t think twice about black. It''s pretty clear that my family is a bit more old-fashioned when it comes to social graces, but I''m always pretty shocked when people wear black to weddings. Just because much of the younger set doesn''t see it as morbid anymore, there are still a lot of people who do.

All that being said, to let a guest''s choice of attire upset you on your wedding day is a huge mistake, in my opinion. There''s no room for pettiness on your wedding day.

 

[NuggetBrain]

I actually mentioned this to my MOH yesterday (who is Irish-Italian, and therefore full to the brim of piss and vinegar), and I won't repeat what she said she'd do, but if she did manage to get the dress and her foot up there it would really make me question the laws of physics.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/16/2009 11:20:35 AM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/15/2009 8:46:20 PM

Author: princesss

Date: 5/15/2009 8:29:18 PM

Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM


Author: princesss



And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, ''I''m a tacky-a** b****!'' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else''s wedding (in a culture where that''s not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a ''tacky...'' (no need to repeat) for doing so.



Let''s put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.



Ally, it''s nuts that she''s wearing a wedding dress, and even more crazy that your fiance won''t stick up for you. Time to put your foot down, my friend.

Kim, I''m sorry, I truly didn''t mean offense. I was trying to make light of the situation to make Ally laugh. Note I didn''t say, ''White,'' I said, ''Semi-bridal.'' This wedding dress and wedding dress imitations are semi-bridal. Just being white doesn''t make something bridal. I''m sure your mother looked lovely.

princess, none taken. I was just trying to point out that not everyone finds this practice, guests wearing white, offensive. I totally understand why you said what you did, I just wanted to throw it out there that not everyone finds this to be offensive. And my mom is a bit tacky (she wears mom jeans for goodness sake) but she couldn''t have looked more beautiful on my wedding day.

Oh, good, I''m glad I didn''t upset you. I have actually seen guests where white to a wedding before, and really didn''t think anything other than "Pretty dress," but I know some people find it upsetting. There was actually a wedding on here where the bride had her bridesmaids wear white dresses and I''ve got the pictures stored on my computer because I loved it so much, and am thinking about blatantly ripping that idea off if I end up with a small destination wedding.

Ally, I''m glad we''ve got you laughing a bit about this. This girl is truly being ridiculous, and she doesn''t deserve any more of your time. She''ll do what she''ll do and that''s on her. YOU are going to be stunning.

 

[HollyS]

If someone wore white to my wedding? I didn''t notice. My focus was on my husband and my family.

Oh, actually, a very dear friend wore an ivory pantsuit with a lace blouse. I thought she looked very nice; and it certainly didn''t ruin my ''moment''.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 5/14/2009 4:18:47 PM
Author: sunnyd
Your FI has to know that he''s just reinforcing her idiotic behavior, right? Why is he even defending her?!?!

Very good question and one that I would like to know too. And he told you to shut up at the wedding? Ally, that would NOT sit well with me at all, neither would being called a Bridezilla.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 5/14/2009 8:35:42 PM
Author: thing2of2
If it were me I''d be more upset about my fiance defending this girl than the thought of her wearing a white dress to my wedding...

+1

 

[meresal]

I'm not trying to press this issue, I apologize Ally, but come on ladies... you wouldn't care if a girl, that repeatedly disrespects you and your relationship, wore a Wedding Dress to your wedding? We're not talking about white or black, we're talking about a Wedding Dress.

 

[Clairitek]

Date: 5/16/2009 12:33:55 PM
Author: HollyS
If someone wore white to my wedding? I didn''t notice. My focus was on my husband and my family.

Oh, actually, a very dear friend wore an ivory pantsuit with a lace blouse. I thought she looked very nice; and it certainly didn''t ruin my ''moment''.

I think ivory or white pantsuits are actually not against the "rules" of guest attire at a wedding.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 5/16/2009 1:18:06 PM
Author: meresal
I''m not trying to press this issue, I apologize Ally, but come on ladies... you wouldn''t care if a girl, that repeatedly disrespects you and your relationship, wore a Wedding Dress to your wedding? We''re not talking about white or black, we''re talking about a Wedding Dress.

Meresal: If that happened at my wedding, you can bet it would be as MakingTheGrade said. My group of friends, would make her life (day) miserable from the time she walked in the door, until the time she left. I know a couple of them would "accidentally" spill wine on her too. That is just the way they are.

Knowing her history, they would know she deserved every bit of the treatment she got.

 

[katamari]

Um, am I the only one who thinks it is weird that this chick is even telling your FI what she is wearing?! I have read the backstory, so I know why she is doing it, but I can''t believe he doesn''t think it is weird. How many other women does he have telling him what they are wearing to the wedding? Zero beyond her, I am sure.

Get your meanest friends on the case. I am sure they won''t let you down.

And, Ally, if rain on your wedding day blesses your marriage, you and FI are going to have the most blessed marriage of all time, because it has been pouring cats and dogs all over your wedding all year.

 

[Bliss]

Eh, she may be tall, blonde and thin -- but you are smart, petite and lovely in all the ways only you can be. Each woman is a flower unto herself and you are totally hot in your own right. Even if she wore a gown woven by Aphrodite herself, she would not overshadow or hold a candle to the bride on her wedding day. Seriously. She sounds like a crow or shrew-in-the-making. I wouldn't show that you care AT ALL. She's soooo not a threat and so trivial you shouldn't even notice her presence on your wedding day.

If you let her get to you, she'll get what she wants. And besides, she'll never GET how awful she's being. People like this don't ever get it until life knocks them on their butts so hard they're forever changed. Usually, they just keep hurtling through life offending tons of people and growing more miserable inside from all that toxic karma. It's really sad. I'd just look right through her and feel badly for how clueless she is. Can you imagine how many people must dislike her for her rudeness, insecurity and lact of tact? So sad!

Let her wear her sad wanna be wedding dress to your wedding. When you see her, give her a smile and a hug. Say you're glad she came. Tell her that her wedding dress looks lovely. LOL.

 

[Barcelona]

Date: 5/16/2009 5:36:05 PM
Author: Bliss
Eh, she may be tall, blonde and thin -- but you are smart, petite and lovely in all the ways only you can be. Each woman is a flower unto herself and you are totally hot in your own right. Even if she wore a gown woven by Aphrodite herself, she would not overshadow or hold a candle to the bride on her wedding day. Seriously. She sounds like a crow or shrew-in-the-making. I wouldn''t show that you care AT ALL. She''s soooo not a threat and so trivial you shouldn''t even notice her presence on your wedding day.


If you let her get to you, she''ll get what she wants. And besides, she''ll never GET how awful she''s being. People like this don''t ever get it until life knocks them on their butts so hard they''re forever changed. Usually, they just keep hurtling through life offending tons of people and growing more miserable inside from all that toxic karma. It''s really sad. I''d just look right through her and feel badly for how clueless she is. Can you imagine how many people must dislike her for her rudeness, insecurity and lact of tact? So sad!


Let her wear her sad wanna be wedding dress to your wedding. When you see her, give her a smile and a hug. Say you''re glad she came. Tell her that her wedding dress looks lovely. LOL.

x2
Be the bigger person and it will kill her. Heck, maybe she''ll leave if she doesn''t get the reaction she wants.

 

[doodle]

Date: 5/16/2009 11:43:29 AM
Author: NuggetBrain
I actually mentioned this to my MOH yesterday (who is Irish-Italian, and therefore full to the brim of piss and vinegar), and I won''t repeat what she said she''d do, but if she did manage to get the dress and her foot up there it would really make me question the laws of physics.

ME, TOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You combine Irish and Italian, and you get unmanageable tempers and unmanageable hair. I could manage your wannabe bride though...

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/16/2009 1:18:06 PM
Author: meresal
I''m not trying to press this issue, I apologize Ally, but come on ladies... you wouldn''t care if a girl, that repeatedly disrespects you and your relationship, wore a Wedding Dress to your wedding? We''re not talking about white or black, we''re talking about a Wedding Dress.

As I said several times, in ally''s case I can understand some upset. But if I were her I''d be more upset with 1) myself for acquiescing to my fiance and inviting her in the first place and 2) him for putting me in this position. The chick is batty, nothing is going to change her, how ally and her fiance respond to her can change though, and that is the only way to fix this mess.

And honestly, I would not be bothered if someone wore a wedding dress to my wedding, I would think it rather odd and quite amusing; keep in mind I would never have invited someone who had been cruel to me and disrespectful of my relationship to my wedding. I didn''t get married to wear a white dress and be the center of attention for a day, I got married because I love my husband and want to spend my life with him, and invited close friends and family because I wanted them to be part of the celebration (the long white dress was just a small part of the fun and excitement). Someone could have shown up in a wedding dress or board shorts and a tank top and if they were present because they love us and want us to be happy it would have made no difference to me.

 

[Rhea]

Date: 5/16/2009 6:17:33 AM
Author: allycat0303

But some of the responses (i.e Bia and Addy,Barcelona indicate they wouldn''t care, so leads me to believe I might have been bride-zilla ish).

Oh no! Addy would care! I said that my heart would stop and I would have been upset. But I don''t think that there''s much that can be done. You said in one of your earlier posts that you''d have to ask your FH to talk to his friend to talk to his GF and it''s all a bit elementary school. Or you''d have to call the GF who just happens to leave the room when you walk in. I don''t think you can really tell a grown woman what to wear to your wedding, especially one who apparently hates you, and expect her to listen. You''re not a bridezilla or bridezilla-ish, you''ve just been backed into a corner.

This woman''s dress is much fancier than my wedding gown was! Someone wearing white a white dress was a very real fear for me because my wedding dress was informal. Short of not letting her attend I really don''t think that there''s much you can do though. But I would care! Especially if it''s at all like the dress you posted.

Just to clear things up

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/17/2009 10:49:55 AM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/16/2009 1:18:06 PM
Author: meresal
I''m not trying to press this issue, I apologize Ally, but come on ladies... you wouldn''t care if a girl, that repeatedly disrespects you and your relationship, wore a Wedding Dress to your wedding? We''re not talking about white or black, we''re talking about a Wedding Dress.

As I said several times, in ally''s case I can understand some upset. But if I were her I''d be more upset with 1) myself for acquiescing to my fiance and inviting her in the first place and 2) him for putting me in this position. The chick is batty, nothing is going to change her, how ally and her fiance respond to her can change though, and that is the only way to fix this mess.

And honestly, I would not be bothered if someone wore a wedding dress to my wedding, I would think it rather odd and quite amusing; keep in mind I would never have invited someone who had been cruel to me and disrespectful of my relationship to my wedding. I didn''t get married to wear a white dress and be the center of attention for a day, I got married because I love my husband and want to spend my life with him, and invited close friends and family because I wanted them to be part of the celebration (the long white dress was just a small part of the fun and excitement). Someone could have shown up in a wedding dress or board shorts and a tank top and if they were present because they love us and want us to be happy it would have made no difference to me.

I completely understand Kimberly.

 

[kindred]

I showed the picture of the dress to my guy and asked him if he thought it looked like a wedding dress. He said, "Totally". I then told him some woman planned to wear it to your wedding. He said he thought that was tacky and added, "Isn''t it tacky to wear white to someone else''s wedding anyway?" He is not big on etiquette, so I was kind of surprised he knew this.