What if a girl wore white to your wedding?

[allycat0303]

You gals are SO funny. Crazy, and funny, and so supportive. At least I feel like I wasn''t totally bridzilla when I got angry last night. It was definitely DESERVED even if my fiance doesn''t agree with my rationale. I think the word bridezilla came up like 20X which made me really angry

.

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 2:29:43 PM
Author: allycat0303
You gals are SO funny. Crazy, and funny, and so supportive. At least I feel like I wasn't totally bridzilla when I got angry last night. It was definitely DESERVED even if my fiance doesn't agree with my rationale. I think the word bridezilla came up like 20X which made me really angry

.

Being upset that you are not going to be the ONLY person at your wedding with a WEDDING gown on, does NOT make you a Bridezilla!!!

I HATE when people use that word.

 

[brooklyngirl]

WOW! Classy. Is it possible to pay a waiter to accidentally spill red wine on her? Or drop her dinner plate on her? I''ve seen waiters spill red wine on people before -- it''s terrible, and the person in question feels so terrible, not just because of the wine, but because everyone is looking at them and they''re so embarrassed!

A scary thought just popped into my head -- a wedding proposal . If this guy were to propose, or was thinking about it, would your FI know? Sorry to cause paranoia, but my mind wanders sometimes

 

[brooklyngirl]

Ally, your FI does not know the meaning of the word BRIDEZILLA. Whatever constitutes being a bridezilla, it ain''t you, that''s for sure!

A real bridezilla would chew up her FI and spit him out in little pieces over the slightest suggestion that this girl be invited to the wedding. You, a bridezilla, that''s just hilarious!

 

[bee*]

Date: 5/15/2009 2:29:43 PM
Author: allycat0303
You gals are SO funny. Crazy, and funny, and so supportive. At least I feel like I wasn't totally bridzilla when I got angry last night. It was definitely DESERVED even if my fiance doesn't agree with my rationale. I think the word bridezilla came up like 20X which made me really angry

.

Seriously, your FI needs to start standing up for you instead of calling you a bridezilla. Even D knows to be

if some other girl came to our wedding in a wedding dress.

 

[princesss]

Ummm, you''re a bridezilla because somebody else is wearing a WEDDING DRESS to *your* wedding and you''re upset about it? No way. Not cool. I can see "bridezilla" if it was a dress that happened to have white on it. I can see "bridezilla" if you didn''t like this girl because one time she forgot to save a seat for you in a movie theater. But the girl hits on your FI, purposely excludes you from group activities, openly snubs you at work, and TELLS your FI she''s planning on wearing a WEDDING DRESS to YOUR wedding!!! This is not some imagined slight. This is war. Seriously, does she think he''s going to see her in the crowd, and suddenly decide AT THE ALTAR that he needs to spend the rest of his life with her and marry her on the spot? I''m sorry, I don''t get how your FI doesn''t see anything wrong with this series of events.

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 2:47:08 PM
Author: princesss
Ummm, you're a bridezilla because somebody else is wearing a WEDDING DRESS to *your* wedding and you're upset about it? No way. Not cool. I can see 'bridezilla' if it was a dress that happened to have white on it. I can see 'bridezilla' if you didn't like this girl because one time she forgot to save a seat for you in a movie theater. But the girl hits on your FI, purposely excludes you from group activities, openly snubs you at work, and TELLS your FI she's planning on wearing a WEDDING DRESS to YOUR wedding!!! This is not some imagined slight. This is war. Seriously, does she think he's going to see her in the crowd, and suddenly decide AT THE ALTAR that he needs to spend the rest of his life with her and marry her on the spot? I'm sorry, I don't get how your FI doesn't see anything wrong with this series of events.

Honest question Ally, you don't have to answer....but, is she Hot?

ETA: I don't want you to think I'm going to try to slight your FI. I'm not, I promise. I'm just saying it's a fact that guys are swooned by beauty. He may be blinded. If that makes sense?

 

[lucyandroger]

I can''t believe your FI called you a bridezilla for not wanting some girl (that openly dislikes you and flirts with your FI

) to wear a WEDDING DRESS to YOUR wedding!

I don''t know who I''d be more upset with -- my FI or this girl. I don''t care whose GF she is, YOUR FI should be standing up for YOU!!!!

 

[brooklyngirl]

Date: 5/15/2009 2:54:10 PM
Author: meresal
Honest question Ally, you don't have to answer....but, is she Hot?


ETA: I don't want you to think I'm going to try to slight your FI. I'm not, I promise. I'm just saying it's a fact that guys are swooned by beauty. He may be blinded. If that makes sense?

I remember from previous threads that Ally mentioned this chick was hot, but not her FI's type at all.

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 3:07:06 PM
Author: brooklyngirl

Date: 5/15/2009 2:54:10 PM
Author: meresal
Honest question Ally, you don't have to answer....but, is she Hot?


ETA: I don't want you to think I'm going to try to slight your FI. I'm not, I promise. I'm just saying it's a fact that guys are swooned by beauty. He may be blinded. If that makes sense?

I remember from previous threads that Ally mentioned this chick was hot, but not her FI's type at all.

I thought I remembered that as well. It's a deadly combo... Hot and sweet to your FI. How in the world could she possibly be doing anything wrong?

She'll do something heinous, and it'll be bad. Just wait. I would have thought, wearing a wedding dress to YOUR wedding would be bad enough, but apparently not. I just hope it isn't directed at you when it happens. Does this girl not have issues with E's bf? She seems bat sh*t crazy, like she's one of "those" girlfriends. ya know? Either that or she's in complete control and has E's bf under her spell as well?

 

[Aloros]

If that''s the dress she''s going to wear to the wedding, she''s going to look like an idiot.

I was at a wedding where the mother of the groom, in an obvious attempt at attention-steal, wore a low-cut flaming red dress with a slit waaaay up the front. I was very young then, and didn''t understand what was going on, but everyone was bashing her for it.

I can''t believe that your FI would be so dense as to think you''re being a bridezilla.

She''s going to look like a fool. Let her dig her grave and lie in it.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Maybe if you enlist some loyal friends to passive-aggresively make fun of her all day, she'll just leave early in a huff. One can hope right?

I would kill my FI if he didn't see my side on something this blatantly obvious, I realize guys aren't as into weddings as girls sometimes, but COME ON. Even a blind, hermetic hamster would know not to wear a wedding gown to someone else's wedding. Maybe you should tell his mom

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/15/2009 3:25:34 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Maybe if you enlist some loyal friends to passive-aggresively make fun of her all day, she''ll just leave early in a huff. One can hope right?

I would kill my FI if he didn''t see my side on something this blatantly obvious, I realize guys aren''t as into weddings as girls sometimes, but COME ON. Even a blind, hermetic hamster would know not to wear a wedding gown to someone else''s wedding. Maybe you should tell his mom

I think I just had a mini stroke from trying not to laugh out loud.

 

[DLSecret]

I was all ready to yell "Run! It''s BRIDEZILLA!" (in Japanese) when I saw your title. Good thing I actually read through the whole thing.

Another girl/woman/female wearing a wedding dress to your wedding is definitely unacceptable, even I know this and I''m about the less sensitive guy on Earth. Your fiance''s excuses for enabling her behavior are terrible. If this girl is not the sharpest tool in the shed, what about his best friend? Is he retarded as well? He must be if he lets her attend anyone''s wedding wearing that.

You need to tell your fiance to be a man and tell his buddy that they either dress appropriately or don''t show up. If his best friend was attending the wedding wearing t-shirt and shorts, would your fiance still say "oh, he''s just not that bright"?

 

[onvacation]

I''m confused. Of all the people+1 cow involved, I''d be the most upset at the FI. Not only is he okay with her scheming to wear a WEDDING DRESS to your wedding, but he has the nerve to try to convince you that it''s okay? I get that he''s close with E, and he doesn''t want to upset them, but shouldn''t YOU be at the top of his list of people not to piss off?

I think you''re right to not worry about the actual dress - it sounds like she''s just playing to get to you. No one in their right mind would have the nerve to show up in an actual wedding dress. You wouldn''t have to worry about red wine - all the guests will be gasping and whispering/commenting (depending on your crowd) for you. But it IS a wedding dress, Ally.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/15/2009 3:53:00 PM
Author: onvacation
I''m confused. Of all the people+1 cow involved, I''d be the most upset at the FI. Not only is he okay with her scheming to wear a WEDDING DRESS to your wedding, but he has the nerve to try to convince you that it''s okay? I get that he''s close with E, and he doesn''t want to upset them, but shouldn''t YOU be at the top of his list of people not to piss off?

I think you''re right to not worry about the actual dress - it sounds like she''s just playing to get to you. No one in their right mind would have the nerve to show up in an actual wedding dress. You wouldn''t have to worry about red wine - all the guests will be gasping and whispering/commenting (depending on your crowd) for you. But it IS a wedding dress, Ally.

I''ve been wondering the same thing. Who is the important party here, the friend or the fiancee?

 

[DLSecret]

Date: 5/15/2009 3:07:06 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
I remember from previous threads that Ally mentioned this chick was hot

Figured. If the girl was fugly, the fiance would be in the OP''s corner on this.

 

[audball]

Date: 5/15/2009 4:07:25 PM
Author: DLSecret

Date: 5/15/2009 3:07:06 PM

Author: brooklyngirl

I remember from previous threads that Ally mentioned this chick was hot

Figured. If the girl was fugly, the fiance would be in the OP''s corner on this.

+1... Men can really be stupid asses at times...

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 5/15/2009 3:53:00 PM
Author: onvacation
I''m confused. Of all the people+1 cow involved

**snort**

 

[fieryred33143]

For some reason, the more I think about this girl sitting at your wedding in a wedding dress...I think of the copacabana song:

Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it''s a disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she''s lost her mind!

 

[meresal]

Date: 5/15/2009 5:15:35 PM
Author: fieryred33143
For some reason, the more I think about this girl sitting at your wedding in a wedding dress...I think of the copacabana song:

Her name is Lola, she was a showgirl
But that was 30 years ago, when they used to have a show
Now it's a disco, but not for Lola
Still in the dress she used to wear, faded feathers in her hair
She sits there so refined, and drinks herself half-blind
She lost her youth and she lost her Tony
Now she's lost her mind!

LOL!!!
EEEK, that's my FAVORITE smiley!!!

Dance party!!!

 

[Barcelona]

Your fiance not defending you or discussing the issue with his best friend or attending the party without you is a whole other issue, BUT if this girl is determined to do this, so be it. Everyone will see through her and realize she is jealous/spiteful/insane. And besides, you will have so many other things to focus on on your wedding day that she won''t be worth your time. Just imagine how happy you will be to marry your fiance and spend time with your friends and family. Ignore her and if people make any comments to you, tell them you didn''t even notice. She''s doing this solely to get a rise out of you and don''t let her.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM
Author: princesss

And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, 'I'm a tacky-a** b****!' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else's wedding (in a culture where that's not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a "tacky..." (no need to repeat) for doing so.

Let's put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.

Ally, it's nuts that she's wearing a wedding dress, and even more crazy that your fiance won't stick up for you. Time to put your foot down, my friend.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 5/15/2009 3:53:00 PM
Author: onvacation
I''m confused. Of all the people+1 cow involved, I''d be the most upset at the FI. Not only is he okay with her scheming to wear a WEDDING DRESS to your wedding, but he has the nerve to try to convince you that it''s okay? I get that he''s close with E, and he doesn''t want to upset them, but shouldn''t YOU be at the top of his list of people not to piss off?

I think you''re right to not worry about the actual dress - it sounds like she''s just playing to get to you. No one in their right mind would have the nerve to show up in an actual wedding dress. You wouldn''t have to worry about red wine - all the guests will be gasping and whispering/commenting (depending on your crowd) for you. But it IS a wedding dress, Ally.

+1

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Date: 5/15/2009 8:29:18 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM
Author: princesss

And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, 'I'm a tacky-a** b****!' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else's wedding (in a culture where that's not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a 'tacky...' (no need to repeat) for doing so.

Let's put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.

Kimberly, I think that people are probably so accustomed to the rule being no white at someone elses wedding, that it's okay to make a blanket statement. What this girl is doing is ignoring that "rule" and taking it to the extreme by wearing an actual wedding dress. That is totally different that your Mom wearing a white dress.

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 5/15/2009 9:41:13 AM
Author: doodle
In typical, big-mouthed Doodle fashion, I used my being partially deaf as leverage, and said, very loudly and very publicly in front of all the wedding party getting dressed in the back, ''You can''t wear that!!!! You''ll look like a sad little bride wannabe the whole night! What will people think!?!'' Her housekeeper showed up with her dress just in the nick of time.

Gosh, I would love to have you on my side. Just the bridesmaid I would want.

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/15/2009 8:29:18 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 5/14/2009 5:12:27 PM

Author: princesss


And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, ''I''m a tacky-a** b****!'' quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else''s wedding (in a culture where that''s not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

Wow, my mom will be really disturbed to know that as lovely as she looked at my wedding people must have thought she was a ''tacky...'' (no need to repeat) for doing so.


Let''s put away the broad brush, what this chick is doing sucks, but it does not mean anyone who wears white to a wedding is evil.


Ally, it''s nuts that she''s wearing a wedding dress, and even more crazy that your fiance won''t stick up for you. Time to put your foot down, my friend.

Kim, I''m sorry, I truly didn''t mean offense. I was trying to make light of the situation to make Ally laugh. Note I didn''t say, "White," I said, "Semi-bridal." This wedding dress and wedding dress imitations are semi-bridal. Just being white doesn''t make something bridal. I''m sure your mother looked lovely.

 

[honey22]

Hold on, let me get this straight?

Your FI made you invite someone to your wedding who you hate?
Your FI told you to shut up about said person at your own wedding?
Your FI is allowing another woman who you clearly have issues with to host a party in his honour and not let you attend? AGAIN?

I don''t think the girl is the problem here, it sounds like your FI! He should be on your side, no matter what! I would be having it out with him, the girl is a secondary problem here by the sounds of it!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Ally-I''m within driving distance of Montreal and I know the way well...I can hit the tax free liquor store in NH on the way up to stock up on wine...I can be there within a few hours, just say the word...

 

[allycat0303]

Eeek. So many things to clarify.

Meresal, DLSecret: Is this girl hot?? Let me break it down:

a) She a nurse (which is just about the hottest profession in guy fantasy world)
b) She is tall (5''8?)
c) She is half my size (i.e her body is that of a model, like almost scary thin but on pictures. WOW!)
d) She is blond
e) She dresses very,very hot

Although we will say that her face is not attractive. Below average, but the combination is still stunning. I''m outgunned here!!! If fiance found her attractive, she''s the complete opposite of me, so I don''t think I would stand a chance. But she really is not his type. M is this loud, flirty with all the guys, touchy-feely girl. Does she want my fiance? Sure. I just can''t see it happening. Usually, E is usually very *correct* in social situations. In their defense, in Quebec, people RARELY get married. This is the first wedding for both of them, so I don''t think E knows.

Audball: It''s ok. DLSecret assumes that fiance doesn''t say anything because he is attracted to, or wants M. I''m sure that there are many posters who actually think the same thing. I just really don''t think it''s the reason. I hope I''m not being naive.

Honey22, ItalianHair, KimberlyH as for fiance not standing up for me, well all I can say that this is not a strength in our relationship. Do I feel he has my back? Sometimes, but not when it comes to conflicts with friends. We''ve visited this issue before (many times). Thankfully I get along with all his friends and see them like 4 times a year, so it doesn''t come up often. If I push the issue he *probably* would say something. He might not agree but I think he would say something. As for the bridzilla thing. I don''t know, I think I''m kind of a doormat when it comes to my family and his family''s demands, so it made me mad. But some of the responses (i.e Bia and Addy,Barcelona indicate they wouldn''t care, so leads me to believe I might have been bride-zilla ish).

Princess, mscushion, fieryred33143, sunnyd:You are terrific! I know you are trying to cheer me up and making light of the situation so I can laugh a bit. A smile is good. I think it''s the right way to deal with this. I don''t want to give this more power then it''s worth. Hugs to both of you!

onevacation, sunnyd, fieryred33143 I agree that it is a wedding dress. I agree that she is trying to annoy me. I''m thankful because it could have been more wedding-y. As for people on the list to piss off, well I''m ok with it now, so it''s all good.

Hudson_Hawk: Haha! And tax free so you could get lots of cheap wine!! I had a whole mental fantasy about it, the horror on her face. But I would feel bad 2.5 seconds later.

bee* I know your D would speak up. You''re getting married in a castle!! Talk about a guy who KNOWS his woman.