What if a girl wore white to your wedding?

[princesss]

Ally, I hate this girl on your behalf. Seriously. I want to smack her around. And maybe smack your FI a little for not noticing. (Personally, I think you should just show up to the party with him. If he thinks you''re invited by extension, he shouldn''t have a problem with this/make a fuss, right? And really, you just want to spend time with him, and you guys are a unit. Where he goes, you go. At least when it involves this girl.)

And to make this general again, remember, nothing says, "I''m a tacky-a** b****!" quite like wearing something semi-bridal to somebody else''s wedding (in a culture where that''s not the norm). It only reflects poorly on her.

 

[FrekeChild]

I''m a red wine pourer honestly. Good thing I''m wearing silver...

 

[musey]

Date: 5/14/2009 3:22:03 PM
Author:allycat0303
So ladies, what is the proper etiquette if a young woman shows up in complete white dress? Would anyone be offended? And what would you do? (if anything).

I wouldn''t even notice, apparently - because looking back through our pics there were three women wearing white/ivory (my dress was ivory) out of our 60 guests.

 

[Octavia]

I don''t think I''d notice either, and honestly, if I did...whatever. I just want to be happy on my wedding day, and my philosophy is that when there''s nothing you can do to change something, why bother getting angry about it? It''s not like these offenders can be sent home to change and return wearing something more appropriate, so getting upset is a pretty fruitless exercise. That said, I don''t wear plain white or ivory to weddings. If the dress has a white background with a substantial colored pattern, I don''t see a problem with it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think everyone knows who the bride is, and the only thing anyone would think is that she is tacky. There''s not a thing you can do about it, and I wouldn''t give her the satisfaction of knowing you worried about it for one minute!

 

[goldenstar]

I''d be mildly irritated, then I''d forget about it because of everything else going on. She''s the one that''s gonna look silly-- not me.

 

[E B]

She sounds just awful, Ally. I agree with the others- if she does, just shrug it off. You'll be the radiant bride, and she'll look like an attention wh*re.

General: If I didn't have photos of the big day, I couldn't tell you what a single guest wore to my wedding- immediate family excluded. But if I saw a woman wearing all white at someone else's wedding, I'd think it was a little tacky, to be honest. Of all the colors you could wear, you chose the same as the bride? Really?

 

[emeraldlover1]

I know that I wouldn''t care. There is no one that is going to look like me on my day so..nope, don''t care. I have in the past worn a white dress with navy polkadots on it cause the wedding reception was at a yaht club but...I cleared it with the bride first. The more embarassing part was that the dress really needed me to wear a bra with it and that made my chest look um...huge. I spent most of the night with a navy sweater on. haha.

 

[mayachel]

Hopefully, there will be too many other wonderful things to keep my attention. I wouldn''t want to spend any more energy on the type of person who would do it purely for the attention.

That being said, while I would never want to step on a bride''s toes and am aware that many people still follow the tradition in the states of not wearing white, and so I wouldn''t personally wear anything that could be construed as white/off-white/cream...

I couldn''t care less if someone wants to wear a white lace dress. If they show up in a wedding dress? Well, they''ll be the one looking ridiculous. I just wouldn''t pay it any attention.

 

[Lilac]

I would never wear white to someone else''s wedding. I think the bride should be the one wearing white and nobody else.

That said, unless someone wore a puffy or flowing white gown, I''m not sure I would have even noticed or cared. On my wedding day I don''t even remember seeing some of my FRIENDS there, I was so happy and it was so surreal, I really doubt I would have cared if someone wore a white or cream colored dress.

 

[iheartscience]

If it were me I''d be more upset about my fiance defending this girl than the thought of her wearing a white dress to my wedding...

 

[kama_s]

Aye. It''s THAT girl again. Just talking about her gives me palpitations

To answer your Q, I really wouldn''t care. Honestly, I''m the bride and everyone at the wedding is present to celebrate us....so I really dont care if some crazy chick is trying (withou success) to steal the spotlight. At my Indian wedding, my cousin wore her WEDDING dress (not to mention all the 10 million other ways she tried to steal the spotlight), but I wasn''t bothered at all. My mum was all in a huff, and truth be told, it ruined the entire experience for her. I''d let it slide, no one is going to notice her (or atleast, if they do it would be a negative way), and you dont want to ruin your day because of some b*tch ya know?

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I guess I don''t understand why your FI is defending her and her ignorant behavior instead of protecting his FI''s feelings? I understand that this girl is his friends girlfriends...but you''re his family.

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/14/2009 8:35:42 PM
Author: thing2of2
If it were me I''d be more upset about my fiance defending this girl than the thought of her wearing a white dress to my wedding...

Ditto! I wonder why M does not see this chick for who she is, ally. Sometimes boys are so oblivious!

In general, I probably would not even have noticed had someone else been wearing white. But since it''s this witch, you''ll be looking for her.... so my advice is to make sure she is sitting as far from you as possible

(is the parking lot an option??)

 

[lucyandroger]

There are so many colors to wear..I can''t believe all these stories of guests wearing white dresses!

Personally, I would get a crazy colored muumuu and enlist an outspoken friend to be keeper of the muumuu. If the girl comes in white, have the friend go over and say how embarrassed she must be that she accidentally wore white to someone else''s wedding and offer up the muumuu since she can''t go home and change.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

I would honestly hire a bouncer. If you''re dressed inappropriately, you''re not coming in. I just came from my friend''s wedding, where there were people (not on her side of the family, but cousins of his) in halter tops and SHORTS. Like short shorts. To a formal, evening church ceremony.

Ally, this isn''t my place, but I''ve been following your posts for a while now, and your FI seems like he defends everyone BUT you. Albeit, we get only your side of the story, but it seems like he''s much more concerned about him, and what his mother wants, and what his sister wants, and what his best friend''s girlfriend wants for heaven''s sake, to take the time to listen to what YOU want. This girl sounds like an atrocious b!tchmonster. I wouldn''t want her at my wedding, but if he really insists, ok, since it''s his best friend''s girlfriend. But your FI should be sensitive enough to lay out some ground rules for appropriate behavior - and this includes making it clear that you are his FIANCEE, not some fling, and as a result, you should be invited to events like the birthday party. That is just rude for the girl not to include you, and rude of your FI not to stand up to her! Honey, you strike me as a beautiful, kind and smart girl, who cares deeply about her FI and her family and his family. I think you need to put your foot down on some issues, like this - don''t let that horrible girl, or your FI, by refusing to defend you, treat you like a doormat.

 

[motownmama]

I''ve seen guests do it and thought "didn''t anyone ever tell them???" But, no matter - all eyes are on the bride and no one ever looks more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day - things like this just make THAT person look tacky - don''t let it impinge on your special day one iota.

 

[Blair138]

Honestly, because this girl is SUCH a class act, I would have a BM or friend ''not so nicely'' tell her that it''s a HUGE faux pas...or I would do like Freke and trip with a FULL GLASS of red wine...WHOOPS!

Or you could hire us PSer''s and we could be your bouncers

 

[Kaleigh]

You will be the shining star, the one in white, the bell of the ball. She can''t steal your thunder. and yes it''s tacky for her to wear white....But she will look like an ass. There I said it.... I would hope your FI, would put her in her place. WHY is she invited?? Forgive me if I missed something... But I think most of your friends would see her as "oh that''s the girl"

Have to say she''s got major brass ****...

 

[katamari]

You should send a car for her. And then have it take her somewhere else.

 

[Kelli]

To be honest I wouldn''t care. That''s something I wouldn''t think twice about. Especially because everyone''s gonna look at her and think she''s either a total idiot or a tacky b!tch. I personally would not wear a white dress to anyone else''s wedding, but to be honest, I might not even notice if someone wore one to mine.

You shouldn''t worry anyway, you are going to look totally hot on your wedding day in your dress. NO ONE will upstage you!

 

[Dannielle]

How annoying, but as mscushion said, everyones attention will be on you.. regardless of what colour this girl is wearing

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I''ve been to several weddings where one or 2 guests wore white. I shrugged my shoulders and figured that those people didn''t know any better. Women who wear white to weddings will never steal one bit of attention from the bride and they make themselves look ridiculous in everybody''s eyes.

 

[Winks_Elf]

I''m with the other ladies on this...get one of your bridesmaids or a good friend to "accidentally" trip with a nice glass of red wine, or a tall mixed drink in a lovely shade of blue (or another drink with lots of grenadine in it). The sugars and food coloring in those things are impossible to get out.

 

[doodle]

Blech, my cousin''s MIL attempted this at my cousin''s wedding. Somehow, the beast managed to "accidentally" leave her dress at home (she lives a couple of hours out of town), but she had conveniently remembered to pack a floor-length, white lace beaded evening gown??!?! RIIIIIIGHT. In typical, big-mouthed Doodle fashion, I used my being partially deaf as leverage, and said, very loudly and very publicly in front of all the wedding party getting dressed in the back, "You can''t wear that!!!! You''ll look like a sad little bride wannabe the whole night! What will people think!?!" Her housekeeper showed up with her dress just in the nick of time.

Now, if you don''t happen to have a bridesmaid quite as obnoxious and outspoken as I was, take the high road. All eyes will be on you, so if she shows up in all white, walk up, smile, tell her she looks lovely and you''re so happy she could make it, then let everyone in the entire room wonder how on earth she could do something so classless when you''re being so incredibly kind to her. Then stealthily send a drunk groomsman to throw up on her.

Just kidding about the last part...a little.

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

The past three weddings I''ve been to (including one in February), I''ve spotted guests in white. The worst of all was a skin-tight white number, no lace. The others were last weekend, and they were summer dresses, so I didn''t think as badly of it.

To be honest, as I''m getting married next weekend, I probably won''t even notice if someone does. If there were a certain person I expected to do it, I''d probably notice, but let it go because it''s not worth worrying over!

 

[MaggieB]

I encouraged my guests to wear whatever they owned that they thought would make the best B&W photograph. About half of our wedding budget went to an extremely expensive photographer, and I wanted my guests to get my money''s worth out of it. A couple of them wore cream and a couple of them wore black.

I read your original posts multiple times and maybe I''m missing something, but she hasn''t actually threatened to wear white, right? You''re just upsetting yourself over the thought of maybe the possibility of it? I don''t think that your issue is what she wears. I think that you have a major issue with your fiance not respecting you and not demanding that others respect you also - which in my opinion you should immediately address with him.

 

[allycat0303]

My fiance saw E''s girl yesturday, and as per my request he actually saw the dress. He says it''s not what he would think of a wedding gown. Anyways, she told him that it was alfred angelo, so I pulled up all the pictures and he pointed to the one he thought it was. She says she bought it this year for a hospital gala. *shrug* so I guess I have to give her the benefit of the doubt (

yeah right) I do think it''s less bride-y then my feverish imagination though, so I guess it passes for an afternoon wedding. But don''t ask me to be happy about it. I''m still annoyed given said history with girl. And I did totally indulged in a GRR bridzilla moment. But I can''t un-invite her. So I''ll ask the photographer to keep her out of my pictures so I don''t remember it. Thanks for listening to me vent.

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

Ally, I would be

if I were you. That totally could be a wedding dress..... I don''t want to add fuel to the fire, so, it''s best that you have decided to have your photog try to not capture her...

Honey, you''re handling this A LOT better than I ever would!

 

[fieryred33143]

I''m sorry...but that dress is *not* appropriate for a wedding. The model is wearing a veil...seriously what is this girl thinking??

Don''t worry Ally. If anyone even bothers to notice her it''ll be just enough to realize she loves attention before they completely forget she exists.