What have you hated at other weddings?

[Linda W]

Independent Gal,

We have to go to a family wedding in May, but.... at least this one is in Honolulu ha ha ha!!! still, will have to put up with those family members we never see

Linda

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:04:46 PM
Author: KimberlyH
I think what Moonwater was attempting to say is that a nice wedding can be had sans bridal madness and stress; that doesn''t have to mean not having a wedding at all and not treating guests well, it just doesn''t have to be a production and the people invited should know you well enough to have an idea of what to expect because they know your personalities (whether it be a backyard BBQ or an all out formal affair, either of which can be amazingly fun).

That''s what I kinda got too.

 

[Linda W]

Wait a minute... Spitting on a bride is a custom???? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Linda

 

[MoonWater]

IndyGal, is your friend a hippie?!?! (no offense to any current/former hippies). Sleeping with a total stranger, yikes!

As far as the rest of your post. I think your analogy about keeping an ice cold room and not caring for the feelings of others goes beyond what I was saying, but maybe that wasn't in reference to me. I never said I would be inconsiderate, but I will not bend everything I would want for my wedding because someone else happens to want something different. They aren't getting married. If they are, they can do it at their own wedding, if they're married, I hope they did whatever it is they want at their own wedding. Being inconsiderate is one thing, changing everything to please another person is another.

In regards to loving them as much as they love me. Well that's the great thing of having dear friends and family that know who you are and what you are about. They already know what to expect and have no problem with it. The comfort is in the company. I am NOT putting on a wedding to entertain by any means. Perhaps that's what other people do, but for me it is a celebration of a union. I don't invite those family members I haven't seen in ages, I don't think it makes any sense. I invite the people I see all year around. Those are the people closest to me, that support me, that really care about me. If I haven't seen Aunt Sue in 10 years, does she really need to see me get married?

Haven, I'm going to have to agree to disagree. I do not believe putting on a wedding is a way of showing others how much I care about them. I think the fact that they are invited, certainly does. But the manner in which I put on my wedding is no indication of how much I care. What I do for them day in and day out is the indication of how much I care and I know with absolute certainty that they know that as well. Additionally, I have hosted social gatherings and have done quite well actually. I don't consider a wedding your everyday gathering, however. It will be a low key event with the essential people only. Perhaps a ceremony with immediate family a big party for other friends and family later. To me, it's more like a family reunion. There is no host. And sorry to say, I think you take hosting a social event too seriously. Too put that much pressure on every event with "is a form of expressing your love and gratitude for having your guests in your life" just seems like unnecessary stress. Either your friends and family know you, or they don't. The people I have around me know me and me doing a potluck wedding and not being formal and not going out of my way to entertain suits my personality. There is no one in that room that will think "she doesn't care much about us." I wouldn't dare have anyone like that in my inner circle.

As far as your anticipation about my personality, you couldn't be further from the truth. The wedding WON'T all about us, that is the very point of my choices. A potluck wedding. A get together for the family and close friends who will obviously want to acknowledge that their loved ones were married. An excuse to laugh, eat, drink and have a good time like we do on every other occassion we choose to get together. Simple as that. Your assumption about my guest being unhappy just doesn't make sense to me. Perhaps I'm doing a poor job at articulating who my guests are lol. They love being around EACH OTHER. They will be perfectly happy, don't worry.

I still don't think a couple should sacrifice their OWN experience of THEIR wedding for their guests. I think it's utterly absurd and will never understand it.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:04:46 PM
Author: KimberlyH
I think what Moonwater was attempting to say is that a nice wedding can be had sans bridal madness and stress; that doesn''t have to mean not having a wedding at all and not treating guests well, it just doesn''t have to be a production and the people invited should know you well enough to have an idea of what to expect because they know your personalities (whether it be a backyard BBQ or an all out formal affair, either of which can be amazingly fun).

Ohmigod, thank you!! I wish I had read this before my long ass response lol. That is EXACTLY what I mean.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:22:47 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 11/20/2007 7:04:46 PM
Author: KimberlyH
I think what Moonwater was attempting to say is that a nice wedding can be had sans bridal madness and stress; that doesn''t have to mean not having a wedding at all and not treating guests well, it just doesn''t have to be a production and the people invited should know you well enough to have an idea of what to expect because they know your personalities (whether it be a backyard BBQ or an all out formal affair, either of which can be amazingly fun).

Ohmigod, thank you!! I wish I had read this before my long ass response lol. That is EXACTLY what I mean.

My pleasure!

What I thought when I read your post was: it would be like guests at our wedding having expected a DJ who orchestrated the chicken dance and the macarena. My husband would rather poke his own eyeball out than dance. Our wedding was totally us -- lowkey, good background music, great food, everyone sitting at the same table relaxing, laughing and enjoying each other -- and everyone who attended knew us well enough to have an idea of what to expect. They were there because we love them, not because we wanted to put on a show.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:34:30 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 11/20/2007 7:22:47 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 11/20/2007 7:04:46 PM
Author: KimberlyH
I think what Moonwater was attempting to say is that a nice wedding can be had sans bridal madness and stress; that doesn't have to mean not having a wedding at all and not treating guests well, it just doesn't have to be a production and the people invited should know you well enough to have an idea of what to expect because they know your personalities (whether it be a backyard BBQ or an all out formal affair, either of which can be amazingly fun).

Ohmigod, thank you!! I wish I had read this before my long ass response lol. That is EXACTLY what I mean.

My pleasure!

What I thought when I read your post was: it would be like guests at our wedding having expected a DJ who orchestrated the chicken dance and the macarena. My husband would rather poke his own eyeball out than dance. Our wedding was totally us -- lowkey, good background music, great food, everyone sitting at the same table relaxing, laughing and enjoying each other -- and everyone who attended knew us well enough to have an idea of what to expect. They were there because we love them, not because we wanted to put on a show.

I think my eyes are welling up. A woman after my own heart. If you hit the nail any further on the head it would go through the wood.

That is my entire point and something I can never understand about a lot of weddings (and I've been to a lot, it's amazing what you overhear as a caterer so you don't have to actually know the people). Couples that wanted very simple small weddings ended up renting out a museum with 100 guests because their parents "just wouldn't have a small wedding." It's that kind of stuff that freaks me out. I can not understand why the family, not the couple, aren't the ones willing to bend. It's suppose to be their special day, but instead of you supporting their choices, you force your own? That to me seems completely selfish and contrary to the whole point of the celebration of a union.

And really, why doesn't your family/close friends know you? Why wouldn't they know what to expect? And maybe it's because I'm nearly thirty, but I am far too old to be considering what other people want at the expense of what I want. I don't do that in every day life, why would I do it on my wedding day? (Especially if people expect me to foot the bill!! That's the real kicker lol).

 

[Haven]

Oh, sheesh Moonwater--it's clear that my post was very much misunderstood. Your previous posts had a strong hint of disdain for hosts who care about pleasing their guests, and my response was simply an attempt at shedding some light on the reasons why such hosts do care about these things.

I do think that telling me that I take hosting an event too seriously crosses the line of decency on an otherwise very decent forum, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it is in response to what you misunderstood as me making an "anticipation about your personality." I wouldn't dare draw any conclusions about anyone I don't know, as this would be quite rude. I also did not make any assumptions about your guests being unhappy, it appears that you drew this conclusion from my post on your own.

To be clear, I agree with you that any event that becomes a production and a source of stress is just not worth it. I was just trying to give you some insight as to why some hosts do care about pleasing their guests, which appeared to be the sentiment with which you took issue in your earlier posts.

I also agree that a couple should never sacrifice the quality of their own experience of their own wedding for their guests, this would be a terrible thing to do and a waste of a good day. I think the disconnect here is that you seemed to be asserting that pleasing your guests and enjoying your own wedding are mutually exclusive, and I'm just saying that they aren't--you can please your guests and enjoy your own wedding, especially if you are someone who loves throwing social gatherings, like me. That's all. No need to get heated, just trying to share my own experience and ideas.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:44:38 PM
Author: Haven
Oh, sheesh Moonwater--it''s clear that my post was very much misunderstood. Your previous posts had a strong hint of disdain for hosts who care about pleasing their guests, and my response was simply an attempt at shedding some light on the reasons why such hosts do care about these things.

I do think that telling me that I take hosting an event too seriously crosses the line of decency on an otherwise very decent forum, but I''m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it is in response to what you misunderstood as me making an ''anticipation about your personality.'' I wouldn''t dare draw any conclusions about anyone I don''t know, as this would be quite rude. I also did not make any assumptions about your guests being unhappy, it appears that you drew this conclusion from my post on your own.

To be clear, I agree with you that any event that becomes a production and a source of stress is just not worth it. I was just trying to give you some insight as to why some hosts do care about pleasing their guests, which appeared to be the sentiment with which you took issue in your earlier posts.

I also agree that a couple should never sacrifice the quality of their own experience of their own wedding for their guests, this would be a terrible thing to do and a waste of a good day. I think the disconnect here is that you seemed to be asserting that pleasing your guests and enjoying your own wedding are mutually exclusive, and I''m just saying that they aren''t--you can please your guests and enjoy your own wedding, especially if you are someone who loves throwing social gatherings, like me. That''s all. No need to get heated, just trying to share my own experience and ideas.

Well I''m sorry you were offended, but I do think you take hosting events too seriously. But that''s just my opinion. I don''t think it''s insulting. I take decorating too seriously, big deal.

Claiming that you wouldn''t dare make assumptions contradicts what you did in your post to me. You can phrase it anyway you choose, it''s still making an assumption (i.e. your anticipation). Not that I took offense. I never take any message board that seriously (unless we''re discussing diamonds/rings etc etc). However, I did feel the need to clarify as it seems you completely misunderstood my initial postings.

I am actually quite an amazing host. I take VERY good care of people. Your drink will always be refilled, your plate will be full until you force me to stop. I thought it was quite silly to infer what you did based on me saying I think people should stop putting themselves in a position of stress in order to please other people. Additionally, I never stated that it was impossible to please your guests and enjoy your own wedding. I was only talking about those people, and there are many, that are...sure, happy to be married, but thought that leading up to the event, and even the event itself, was a stressful experience. I think it''s crazy for anyone to do that to themselves.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:53:34 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 11/20/2007 7:44:38 PM
Author: Haven
Oh, sheesh Moonwater--it''s clear that my post was very much misunderstood. Your previous posts had a strong hint of disdain for hosts who care about pleasing their guests, and my response was simply an attempt at shedding some light on the reasons why such hosts do care about these things.

I do think that telling me that I take hosting an event too seriously crosses the line of decency on an otherwise very decent forum, but I''m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it is in response to what you misunderstood as me making an ''anticipation about your personality.'' I wouldn''t dare draw any conclusions about anyone I don''t know, as this would be quite rude. I also did not make any assumptions about your guests being unhappy, it appears that you drew this conclusion from my post on your own.

To be clear, I agree with you that any event that becomes a production and a source of stress is just not worth it. I was just trying to give you some insight as to why some hosts do care about pleasing their guests, which appeared to be the sentiment with which you took issue in your earlier posts.

I also agree that a couple should never sacrifice the quality of their own experience of their own wedding for their guests, this would be a terrible thing to do and a waste of a good day. I think the disconnect here is that you seemed to be asserting that pleasing your guests and enjoying your own wedding are mutually exclusive, and I''m just saying that they aren''t--you can please your guests and enjoy your own wedding, especially if you are someone who loves throwing social gatherings, like me. That''s all. No need to get heated, just trying to share my own experience and ideas.

Well I''m sorry you were offended, but I do think you take hosting events too seriously. But that''s just my opinion. I don''t think it''s insulting. I take decorating too seriously, big deal.

Claiming that you wouldn''t dare make assumptions contradicts what you did in your post to me. You can phrase it anyway you choose, it''s still making an assumption (i.e. your anticipation). Not that I took offense. I never take any message board that seriously (unless we''re discussing diamonds/rings etc etc). However, I did feel the need to clarify as it seems you completely misunderstood my initial postings.

I am actually quite an amazing host. I take VERY good care of people. Your drink will always be refilled, your plate will be full until you force me to stop. I thought it was quite silly to infer what you did based on me saying I think people should stop putting themselves in a position of stress in order to please other people. Additionally, I never stated that it was impossible to please your guests and enjoy your own wedding. I was only talking about those people, and there are many, that are...sure, happy to be married, but thought that leading up to the event, and even the event itself, was a stressful experience. I think it''s crazy for anyone to do that to themselves.

Is it me, or are you two pretty much saying the same thing?

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:58:48 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 7:53:34 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 11/20/2007 7:44:38 PM
Author: Haven
Oh, sheesh Moonwater--it''s clear that my post was very much misunderstood. Your previous posts had a strong hint of disdain for hosts who care about pleasing their guests, and my response was simply an attempt at shedding some light on the reasons why such hosts do care about these things.

I do think that telling me that I take hosting an event too seriously crosses the line of decency on an otherwise very decent forum, but I''m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it is in response to what you misunderstood as me making an ''anticipation about your personality.'' I wouldn''t dare draw any conclusions about anyone I don''t know, as this would be quite rude. I also did not make any assumptions about your guests being unhappy, it appears that you drew this conclusion from my post on your own.

To be clear, I agree with you that any event that becomes a production and a source of stress is just not worth it. I was just trying to give you some insight as to why some hosts do care about pleasing their guests, which appeared to be the sentiment with which you took issue in your earlier posts.

I also agree that a couple should never sacrifice the quality of their own experience of their own wedding for their guests, this would be a terrible thing to do and a waste of a good day. I think the disconnect here is that you seemed to be asserting that pleasing your guests and enjoying your own wedding are mutually exclusive, and I''m just saying that they aren''t--you can please your guests and enjoy your own wedding, especially if you are someone who loves throwing social gatherings, like me. That''s all. No need to get heated, just trying to share my own experience and ideas.

Well I''m sorry you were offended, but I do think you take hosting events too seriously. But that''s just my opinion. I don''t think it''s insulting. I take decorating too seriously, big deal.

Claiming that you wouldn''t dare make assumptions contradicts what you did in your post to me. You can phrase it anyway you choose, it''s still making an assumption (i.e. your anticipation). Not that I took offense. I never take any message board that seriously (unless we''re discussing diamonds/rings etc etc). However, I did feel the need to clarify as it seems you completely misunderstood my initial postings.

I am actually quite an amazing host. I take VERY good care of people. Your drink will always be refilled, your plate will be full until you force me to stop. I thought it was quite silly to infer what you did based on me saying I think people should stop putting themselves in a position of stress in order to please other people. Additionally, I never stated that it was impossible to please your guests and enjoy your own wedding. I was only talking about those people, and there are many, that are...sure, happy to be married, but thought that leading up to the event, and even the event itself, was a stressful experience. I think it''s crazy for anyone to do that to themselves.

Is it me, or are you two pretty much saying the same thing?

Apparently. But she misunderstood the first time. However, I think we disagree on a wedding being a social event to be hosted thing. But that''s a personal preference. I''m not hosting my wedding, neither is FF.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:01:42 PM
Author: MoonWater

Apparently. But she misunderstood the first time. However, I think we disagree on a wedding being a social event to be hosted thing. But that''s a personal preference. I''m not hosting my wedding, neither is FF.

Oh, I think there were misunderstandings going on all over the place. Gotta love the Internet. JMHO.

Personally, I considered myself the hostess, defined very loosely. I threw a party. We paid for the party. We invited people to celebrate with us. So we hosted. But believe you me, my wedding was totally non stress and the key to throwing a great party is for the host and hostess to really ENJOY themselves and provide so that no one is hungry or thirsty. That was the bottom line for me.

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:58:48 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 7:53:34 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 11/20/2007 7:44:38 PM
Author: Haven
Oh, sheesh Moonwater--it''s clear that my post was very much misunderstood. Your previous posts had a strong hint of disdain for hosts who care about pleasing their guests, and my response was simply an attempt at shedding some light on the reasons why such hosts do care about these things.

I do think that telling me that I take hosting an event too seriously crosses the line of decency on an otherwise very decent forum, but I''m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it is in response to what you misunderstood as me making an ''anticipation about your personality.'' I wouldn''t dare draw any conclusions about anyone I don''t know, as this would be quite rude. I also did not make any assumptions about your guests being unhappy, it appears that you drew this conclusion from my post on your own.

To be clear, I agree with you that any event that becomes a production and a source of stress is just not worth it. I was just trying to give you some insight as to why some hosts do care about pleasing their guests, which appeared to be the sentiment with which you took issue in your earlier posts.

I also agree that a couple should never sacrifice the quality of their own experience of their own wedding for their guests, this would be a terrible thing to do and a waste of a good day. I think the disconnect here is that you seemed to be asserting that pleasing your guests and enjoying your own wedding are mutually exclusive, and I''m just saying that they aren''t--you can please your guests and enjoy your own wedding, especially if you are someone who loves throwing social gatherings, like me. That''s all. No need to get heated, just trying to share my own experience and ideas.

Well I''m sorry you were offended, but I do think you take hosting events too seriously. But that''s just my opinion. I don''t think it''s insulting. I take decorating too seriously, big deal.

Claiming that you wouldn''t dare make assumptions contradicts what you did in your post to me. You can phrase it anyway you choose, it''s still making an assumption (i.e. your anticipation). Not that I took offense. I never take any message board that seriously (unless we''re discussing diamonds/rings etc etc). However, I did feel the need to clarify as it seems you completely misunderstood my initial postings.

I am actually quite an amazing host. I take VERY good care of people. Your drink will always be refilled, your plate will be full until you force me to stop. I thought it was quite silly to infer what you did based on me saying I think people should stop putting themselves in a position of stress in order to please other people. Additionally, I never stated that it was impossible to please your guests and enjoy your own wedding. I was only talking about those people, and there are many, that are...sure, happy to be married, but thought that leading up to the event, and even the event itself, was a stressful experience. I think it''s crazy for anyone to do that to themselves.

Is it me, or are you two pretty much saying the same thing?

LOL. It''s not just you.

"The sky is BLUE!"
"No it''s not....it''s BLUE!"
"You''re taking the sky too seriously!"

I enjoyed it while it lasted though.

 

[janinegirly]

moonwater: i think you're way too worked up over this--why not just understand that everyone has their own styles/opinions which is the whole purpose of a forum (to exchange and also share insight even if we disagree) and leave it at that without going on the attack?

more specifically, some of your comments like:

"And sorry to say, I think you take hosting a social event too seriously". (to Haven)

"The miserable and stressed out comments came from the horses mouth" (to myself, which is actually pretty offensive).

are unnecessarily personal..let's just keep opinions general and not judgment of other peoples'.

Anyway, this thread has kind of taken a weird twist where it's veered way off from the original topic. I think we all get the point here.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:18:18 PM
Author: janinegirly

Anyway, this thread has kind of taken a weird twist where it''s veered way off from the original topic. I think we all get the point here.

Seriously, what''d everyone expect with a thread talking about what you hate about such a personal event? I saw this and thought it was a no brainer that it was going to get ugly in no time.

And my two cents...if you can''t take it, don''t dish it.

 

[luckystar112]

I agree. I was actually kind of disgusted by some of the things people said in this thread...
AND YET I KEPT COMING BACK!

If negativity isn''t addicting, I don''t know what is. lol.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:29:28 PM
Author: luckystar112
I agree. I was actually kind of disgusted by some of the things people said in this thread...
AND YET I KEPT COMING BACK!

If negativity isn''t addicting, I don''t know what is. lol.

Aw, it''s not just you. People have watched battles for sport since the beginning of time. It will never change.

::guilty::

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:58:48 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 7:53:34 PM

Author: MoonWater

Date: 11/20/2007 7:44:38 PM

Author: Haven

Oh, sheesh Moonwater--it''s clear that my post was very much misunderstood. Your previous posts had a strong hint of disdain for hosts who care about pleasing their guests, and my response was simply an attempt at shedding some light on the reasons why such hosts do care about these things.


I do think that telling me that I take hosting an event too seriously crosses the line of decency on an otherwise very decent forum, but I''m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that it is in response to what you misunderstood as me making an ''anticipation about your personality.'' I wouldn''t dare draw any conclusions about anyone I don''t know, as this would be quite rude. I also did not make any assumptions about your guests being unhappy, it appears that you drew this conclusion from my post on your own.


To be clear, I agree with you that any event that becomes a production and a source of stress is just not worth it. I was just trying to give you some insight as to why some hosts do care about pleasing their guests, which appeared to be the sentiment with which you took issue in your earlier posts.


I also agree that a couple should never sacrifice the quality of their own experience of their own wedding for their guests, this would be a terrible thing to do and a waste of a good day. I think the disconnect here is that you seemed to be asserting that pleasing your guests and enjoying your own wedding are mutually exclusive, and I''m just saying that they aren''t--you can please your guests and enjoy your own wedding, especially if you are someone who loves throwing social gatherings, like me. That''s all. No need to get heated, just trying to share my own experience and ideas.

Well I''m sorry you were offended, but I do think you take hosting events too seriously. But that''s just my opinion. I don''t think it''s insulting. I take decorating too seriously, big deal.


Claiming that you wouldn''t dare make assumptions contradicts what you did in your post to me. You can phrase it anyway you choose, it''s still making an assumption (i.e. your anticipation). Not that I took offense. I never take any message board that seriously (unless we''re discussing diamonds/rings etc etc). However, I did feel the need to clarify as it seems you completely misunderstood my initial postings.


I am actually quite an amazing host. I take VERY good care of people. Your drink will always be refilled, your plate will be full until you force me to stop. I thought it was quite silly to infer what you did based on me saying I think people should stop putting themselves in a position of stress in order to please other people. Additionally, I never stated that it was impossible to please your guests and enjoy your own wedding. I was only talking about those people, and there are many, that are...sure, happy to be married, but thought that leading up to the event, and even the event itself, was a stressful experience. I think it''s crazy for anyone to do that to themselves.

Is it me, or are you two pretty much saying the same thing?

TGal--Yes, I think you''re right.

Moonwater--I wasn''t offended by your "you take hosting too seriously. In fact, it makes perfect sense that you would think that, because we have two very different opinions about what it means to host something. I just think that making comments of that sort has the potential to ruin the integrity of a board, and I''d hate to see that happen on PS.

For the record--The moment an event starts to cause stress is the moment I change my plans. Just like most brides on this board, I have a full-time career, I''m finishing up another graduate degree, and my schedule is full enough as it is without planning a wedding. I can''t imagine being stressed about any event that I''m hosting, especially my wedding--that is one day that I plan on fully experiencing. I agree that it''s crazy for anyone to do that to themselves.

Your last few posts clarified what you were saying in your initial posts, and now I see what I originally misunderstood. And I''m sure you''re a lovely host, I didn''t doubt that. Speaking of, it''s time to refill my own wine glass.

I''m still interested in hearing what people disliked about weddings, so my apologies for starting this little tete-a-tete, everyone.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:26:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 8:18:18 PM
Author: janinegirly
Anyway, this thread has kind of taken a weird twist where it''s veered way off from the original topic.

Seriously, what''d everyone expect with a thread talking about what you hate about such a personal event? I saw this and thought it was a no brainer that it was going to get ugly in no time.

LOLROTF .... tears, I have tears .... Upcoming threads: "Which Wedding Dresses are Bu**-Ugly?" "Invitations That Make Me Vomit!" and, my fave ... "DUMB Religious Conventions!"

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:33:58 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 11/20/2007 8:26:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 8:18:18 PM
Author: janinegirly
Anyway, this thread has kind of taken a weird twist where it's veered way off from the original topic.

Seriously, what'd everyone expect with a thread talking about what you hate about such a personal event? I saw this and thought it was a no brainer that it was going to get ugly in no time.

LOLROTF .... tears, I have tears .... Upcoming threads: 'Which Wedding Dresses are Bu**-Ugly?' 'Invitations That Make Me Vomit!' and, my fave ... 'DUMB Religious Conventions!'

BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

ETA:

*gasp gasp*

BAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

[Haven]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:30:56 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 8:29:28 PM

Author: luckystar112

I agree. I was actually kind of disgusted by some of the things people said in this thread...

AND YET I KEPT COMING BACK!


If negativity isn''t addicting, I don''t know what is. lol.

Aw, it''s not just you. People have watched battles for sport since the beginning of time. It will never change.


::guilty::

So obviously guilty, here.

(I DO try to stay positive, I''m just a sucker for swooping in and clarifying, or in this case--declarifying--things, I can''t help myself. And if I don''t stand up for the happy hostesses of the world, who will?)

 

[Haven]

Deco--I was WAITING for you, where have you been?!?!?! This thread was just itching for THAT response from you.

If I was down with all the Internet slang I''d be throwing down the letter combinations that mean "That was freaking hilarious! I''m laughing so hard my contacts just popped out!" Alas, I must stick with real words until I get some schooling.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:33:58 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 11/20/2007 8:26:25 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 11/20/2007 8:18:18 PM
Author: janinegirly
Anyway, this thread has kind of taken a weird twist where it''s veered way off from the original topic.

Seriously, what''d everyone expect with a thread talking about what you hate about such a personal event? I saw this and thought it was a no brainer that it was going to get ugly in no time.

LOLROTF .... tears, I have tears .... Upcoming threads: ''Which Wedding Dresses are Bu**-Ugly?'' ''Invitations That Make Me Vomit!'' and, my fave ... ''DUMB Religious Conventions!''

HAHAHA! Are you going to start those threads right now, or should I? Hilarious!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Well here is one that can go either way. I love when the couple involves things from their heritage but I hate when they don''t explain it to the rest of us first.
I was at the wedding of a women from cyress and people started pinning money on her dress which is the tradition. I didn''t know that and didn''t bring cash so I looked cheap wen she walked by me, etc.
Or jewish wedding where it is all in hebrew with no translations of what is going on. Putting in the program the such and such doesn''t help when I can''t tell what the hebrew is!

 

[VRBeauty]

Brazen: Ditto re the explanations. And that goes for religious ceremonies too... either the program or officiant should be clear about when people are expected to kneel, for example (stated in the permissive, one hopes...), or...

I'll stop there so I don't inadvertently start that religious conventions thread referred to previously!

 

[mimzy]

Date: 11/20/2007 7:13:14 PM
Author: Linda W
Wait a minute... Spitting on a bride is a custom???? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Linda

it is if you are greek! but it is a dry spit

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/20/2007 8:18:18 PM
Author: janinegirly
moonwater: i think you're way too worked up over this--why not just understand that everyone has their own styles/opinions which is the whole purpose of a forum (to exchange and also share insight even if we disagree) and leave it at that without going on the attack?


more specifically, some of your comments like:


'And sorry to say, I think you take hosting a social event too seriously'. (to Haven)


'The miserable and stressed out comments came from the horses mouth' (to myself, which is actually pretty offensive).


are unnecessarily personal..let's just keep opinions general and not judgment of other peoples'.


Anyway, this thread has kind of taken a weird twist where it's veered way off from the original topic. I think we all get the point here.

Er, why would you be offended by the fact that I have personally witnessed both brides and grooms express how stressed out they were in their wedding planning and in their actual wedding? (i.e. the horses mouth)

And Good grief. I'm not worked up at all and in fact completely understood that different people had different opinions. I think that's obvious to anyone that didn't take my comments personally.

All of my opinions were general or about MYSELF actually. It was other people that felt the need to take my preference for MY own wedding to heart and try to explain to me why people stress themselves out about it. I tried to make it plainly clear that under no circumstances will I ever relate to or understand anyone willing to stress themselves out. It doesn't need to be stressful. Simple as that.

And Haven, glad we cleared up.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 11/21/2007 12:30:22 AM
Author: mimzy

Date: 11/20/2007 7:13:14 PM

Author: Linda W

Wait a minute... Spitting on a bride is a custom???? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Linda

it is if you are greek! but it is a dry spit

Well my FF is half Italian and I want to tap into that side of the family for cash gifts.

 

[Haven]

When does the dry spit happen at a Greek wedding?!?! We''ve been to several and I''ve never seen one, how could I miss that? I want to witness that in person!

I''m Jewish, and we hoist the couple up on chairs and dance around, so I can''t really be shocked by any traditions. In fact, they dropped me from the chair at my Bat Mitzvah. Well, it was more of a slow slide off, but I fell, and it was embarrassing. When you''re 13, it''s hard to laugh these things off.

Moonwater--I didn''t know the Italians were all about cash gifts, works for me! Cash is king in New York, too, right? I think I read that somewhere.

 

[MoonWater]

Haven, I didn''t know about the cash gifts either! I immediately talked to my FF about it. His mom is full Italian but she married a German (Irish and something else) guy and well...it seems a lot of the Italian traditions are lost. *sigh*

Speaking of Jewish weddings, they are my favorites! I kept (joking obviously) asking if we could convert because I really wanted a Jewish wedding. They were the ones where everyone looked as if they had the most fun (including the bride and groom). Oh man, I catered an extremely traditional one once and an older man came in with a walker. He was slow, because you know, he had a walker. He seemed very feeble. I''m not sure why I took note of him when he arrived. But my god, when it came to the point where the couple were hoisted up on the chairs and everyone was dancing (what is that part called btw?), this elderly guy was getting down. I mean, no more walker, dancing around like he was a teenager. I nearly went into shock! Talk about a moving event. I wanted to jump in and join the festivities.