What advice would you give your younger self, if you could?

[CNOS128]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:40:58 PM
Author: Skippy123

All things usually have a way of working themselves out.

This, in various forms, is something my fiance is great at saying -- and believing. It''s what first made me realize I had to marry him. I was going through a particularly rough patch, and he just kept telling me that no matter what, everything would be okay, that everything would work out. It''s amazing how much good that one little thought can do.

 

[bee*]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:49:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Would you guys really change all these things? Don''t you think it made you all into the amazing women you are today?

I''m not sure. My life would be a lot easier now if I had changed those things when I was younger but sure it''s a lesson learnt!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:47:50 PM
Author: decodelighted
Dear Eighteen Year Old Deco,


* Your parents aren''t going to die leaving you to raise your five siblings by yourself ... so stop stressing.

* Just say no to home perms ... and, really, ALL perms.

* Those shy guys who stammer & blush when they''re talking to you -- are trying to pick you up, DUMMY!

* A little booze won''t kill you.

* No one likes a sanctimonious know-it-all ... cut that out.

* It won''t be WHAT you know that counts ... but WHO you know .. so get out of your head & start a'' socializin''

* Pleated pants aren''t flattering.

* One day you''ll have a dog as special as Misty was.

giggle

 

[Gypsy]

I don''t know T-gal. I have to say I''ve always been the one to do things the hard way. A lot of the ''wisdom'' (*snort*) I have has been hard earned. Do I think that it''s valuable, yes. Of course, it''s a nice justification for the crap I endured. But if I could spare myself some of it, and still be a pretty remarkable person... I would.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:49:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Would you guys really change all these things? Don''t you think it made you all into the amazing women you are today?

I would definitely not have smoked the wacky baccy if I had known what it would do to me!

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:49:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Would you guys really change all these things? Don''t you think it made you all into the amazing women you are today?

Yes I would change it all except for maybe the private school since my school led to my internship which led to the job I love. But the debt I don''t love as much. As for the others:

~Save your money I blew through so much money LOL
~When you lose all of your weight, don''t get un-motivated and gain it all back. It''s getting harder and harder to lose the weight
~Don''t watch The Exorcist just cause your boyfriend thinks it''ll be romantic to cuddle together while watching it. This movie sucks and I still have nightmares

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:58:33 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 4/14/2009 4:49:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Would you guys really change all these things? Don''t you think it made you all into the amazing women you are today?

I would definitely not have smoked the wacky baccy if I had known what it would do to me!

Ha, well, now you have experience with it and can talk to your kids about that stuff. I''ve never smoked anything, so I told TGuy he''ll be educated Amelia on that stuff! I''m the parent who "doesn''t understand."

Deco, you''re probably right. I wouldn''t have listened either!

Gypsy, I guess some of the stuff mentioned here would just spare a bit of pain. Others I think really create a foundation for life perspective that only comes with age and mistakes.

 

[ChinaCat]

I wouldn''t trade the heartache and heartbreak. It''s part of who I am and I learned so much from it. And got some good lovin'' out of it along the way.

I probably would take the advice to pursue what I am passionate about rather than pick a career that I thought would be "good" for me. I don''t think not following my dreams would have stunted my growth.

However, at the time, I DID think that I was following my passion. So I guess I wouldn''t do anything differently!

 

[JSM]

Dear 18 year old JSM:


Don''t get that credit card just for the T-shirt. And if you do, don''t you dare use it for the trendy clothes you''ll only wear once!

Dump C and get on with your life. He does not love you.

Stop making mountains of molehills: this too, shall pass.

Wait a year before going to graduate school.

And have more fun!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:52:47 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 4/14/2009 4:40:58 PM
Author: Skippy123

All things usually have a way of working themselves out.

This, in various forms, is something my fiance is great at saying -- and believing. It's what first made me realize I had to marry him. I was going through a particularly rough patch, and he just kept telling me that no matter what, everything would be okay, that everything would work out. It's amazing how much good that one little thought can do.

It really can; I use to stress so much (I still do sometimes) but finally I thought about it said if the worst thing does happen, I will survive. hehe Really I stopped and thought of the worst things that ever happened to me and they actually made me stronger in the end.

aw, that is so sweet you have an encouraging FI, my hubby is the same way; it makes a huge difference to have positive people by your side!!

 

[diamondringlover]

Never get married.

 

[purrfectpear]

Save at least some money. Retirement isn''t just for "old" folks and old is closer than ya think

Don''t sell that house on the golf course, keep it as a rental investment.

Those last two marriages? Soooo not necessary

 

[mrscushion]

Dear mscushion junior,

Please start saving a little earlier and save a little more.

You'll like life after college better than you'll like college, so get out of it what you can and graduate in three years, not four (like you were able to do, but chose not to).

 

[Elmorton]

Dear 18 year-old Elmorton,

That psych major is a waste of your time. People are crazy (even if we love them), that's all you need to know (and you already know that). Plus, you hate math. Why put yourself through the torture of stats? Do what you love (not what you think you should love) - write, create, read lots of books (cough, actually READ those books!). Major in English Ed even if you have no plans to ever teach HS - you'll be so thankful later, because you'll have a ton more options.

And, speaking of study, are you SURE you want to study abroad just a summer? How about a whole semester? Seriously - you won't miss out on much back home. Oh, and while you're in Italy, buy more shoes, handbags, and wine. Don't worry about trying to get it all back in the country; things like that will figure themselves out.

Talk your girlfriends into going on a huge spring break trip before it's your senior year. And, while you're at it, go visit your friends at other colleges. Four years goes really fast, and these women will mean a lot to you by the time it's all over.

Love your body the way it is - in a few years, you'll look back and be shocked by how beautiful you look. Quit straightening your hair. Your ears will thank you, and besides, not everyone has beautiful curls like you do.

FWIW, exercising is a really good way to shed all that stress. Learn to love the gym - there's this thing called an elliptical there, and it is your friend.

Learn to say no instead of overcommitting yourself. I promise you won't regret it. It's okay to have a Saturday to sit on the quad and read a book.

Yes, you're right - the guys around you aren't good enough for you. Don't waste your energy trying to make them fit. The right one is on his way, just be patient - you'll know when you see him.

Do a kegstand - it's inappropriate to try when you're 26, and you'll always wonder what it's like.

Learn that things in your life just tend to work out. Don't spend so much time worrying and stressing - the answer will always present itself when you need it to.

 

[rainwood]

Hey, you, young Rainwood! Listen up!

Don''t let yourself gain those first five pounds.
Bad boys are not exciting, they''re just bad.

The rest of it I''m willing to have happen the same way again.

 

[Octavia]

To little Octavia:

Just because you do well in school doesn't mean you have to have a typical "go to school for a really long time so you can hopefully make a lot of money" career if you don't want it. And in X years, you'll discover that you don't. Pick something you'll love doing for the long-term, even if it seems less prestigious.

Instead of being kind of good at a dozen things, choose one and do it as well as you possibly can. Having something you're passionate about and can do well is invaluable. In X years, you won't care a bit about 95% of the activities you used to do, and you'll wish you had some skill you could really show off.

Let loose once in awhile. There's no sense in being so serious all the time, and you'll need some good stories to tell later on.

Choose a really useful language to learn. Latin is not "really useful."

 

[Dee*Jay]

Dear Dee,

This is NOT a dress rehersal; go for it!

Love, Dee

 

[Irishgrrrl]

To Emm at age 20:

DO NOT say "yes" when that a$$hole you''re living with proposes to you (and it''s gonna be soon). And if you do say "yes," for the love of God, DO NOT follow through with it and marry the abusive jerk . . . you''re worth so much more than that!!! Ya know that hottie friend of his that he introduced you to at the car wash a little while ago? Marry HIM instead! (You will eventually anyway, so just save yourself some time and heartache and do it right the first time.)

Love,
Emm at age 30

 

[PaulaW]

Dear mini-paulaw,
Don''t sweat the small stuff.
Drop E and live a little... having a one-sided relationship isn''t worth your time and staying close to home for him is a mistake.
Be more outgoing in high school and GO AWAY TO COLLEGE.
Stay away from credit cards and don''t try and keep up with the Jones''s... it''s not worth it.
Learn to save, save, save.
Listen to your mother for the most part.
Eat your vegetables.
Be happy,
big-paulaw

God, I sound like a mother...

AWESOME THREAD. Very cathartic!

 

[iheartscience]

Dear thing2of2,

Keep doing what you''re doing-everything will turn out fine!

Love,
thing2of2

P.S. But maybe don''t ever smoke a cigarette-they''re really good and it''ll take you a few years to quit!

 

[LostSapphire]

Dear 18-year old Lost:

* stay in Europe longer and enjoy the time of your life
* stop second guessing yourself and give yourself credit for brains
* find a way to finish your degree: it gets harder the older you get
* run/bike/hike/play while you can - once that orthopaedic surgeon gets a hold of you in 7 years your bones will never be the same...sigh
* the next 30+ years are going to be very, very rocky healthwise but don''t be scared, it will all turn out OK (eventually)

Love, 52-year old Lost

 

[Gailey]

Dear Gailey, aged 19 and 3 days

Give your head a shake you dozy mare. Getting married tomorrow is a seriously bad thing to do. It won''t last, it will be costly to get out of and you''ll feel guilty for the rest of your life.

And listen to me when I tell you, you are not cut out for motherhood.

Go back to school and study to become an architect like your Mum and Dad told you to. They are not just saying it because they want you to have a good career. They''ve actually figured out from all those leggo houses you spend endless hours building that you would actually like it and be good at it.

Listen to your parents, they do know better than you do.

Do not lend money to people who deep down you know will never pay you back.

Quit eating chocolate and ice-cream right now. Smoke if you have to, at least it won''t pile on the weight.

That loose diamond you are going to buy next year, forget the bigger one with the large flaw right under the table, buy the smaller one without noticeable flaws.

When your Mum comes to stay with you in Canada in 24 years, don''t let her go back to the UK because she''s told you she''s won a free week in Venice.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Wash your face every night no matter how tired you are, and use face cream twice a day.
Master exoitic dancing--everyone needs a fall back position.
Should have put a deposit on the blue car, instead of watiing and losing out.
Don't leave your profession, just work the minimum to keep your license.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Sha]

It''s okay to say "NO". Stop trying to please everyone!

You can''t save an abusive partner through the ''power of love''. Don''t ignore the red flags in your relationship, just because you want to be ''in love'', or because you''re tired of being alone.

**************

This is a great idea for a thread!

I think I would have listened to myself - especially on the first one. I remember one time I was trying to facilitate a pretty unreasonable and unnecessary request from a friend -while I was trying to figure out how to jump through hoops to help him, he looked at me and said, "You know, it''s okay to say "NO". That really hit me like a bolt of lightning!

 

[LadyBlue]

Dear me 6 years ago,
Stay home, family is were you belong =P

 

[LostSapphire]

p.s. to 18-year old Lost:

Wolfgang is a jerk. You just don't know that yet.
LS

 

[LtlFirecracker]

To 18 year old me

Have more fun in college, getting into medical should not be your life
Treasure your friends, the girls you are hanging out with now are the ones who will still care for you 10 years later
Get out of your next 3 relationships early, they end up not being worth your time
Spend more time with your mother, she will be gone in 6 years
Show more confidence!

 

[musey]

Date: 4/14/2009 4:49:44 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Would you guys really change all these things? Don''t you think it made you all into the amazing women you are today?

I would totally change mine (letting things go)... I''m still working on it, but I wish I''d started that process sooner. I think it held me back both emotionally and professionally in many instances.

Of course, it''s helped land me exactly where I am today, which I wouldn''t complain about... but at the same time, who knows if I''d be a little further along now, which wouldn''t be so bad

But then, I think I''m also going through an impatient phase!

 

[crown1]

talk less. listen more.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Dear 18 year old Dreamer from 31 year old Dreamer:

I know you worry about this all the time and even cry about it once and a while, especially after too much tequila

, but when you are 26 you will meet a wonderful man who adores you just as you are, loves you deeply and unconditionally and treats you with respect always. You will be happy with him and you will have dogs and a son and the family you always dreamed of. So relax, honey, and enjoy being young and single!

PS: You have a slammin'' body, try to keep it that way!

*****

TGal I wouldn''t tell myself to change experiences I had, or even to avoid my a-hole ex bf

, but I could have done without the load of anxiety I carried around about men and relationships. I don''t think that anxiety was particularly useful for my growth... except maybe it makes me more sympathetic towards my angst-ridden students!