Well, Now Brett Kavanaugh Can Face His Accuser

[OreoRosies86]

I find it interesting that now the burden of stopping these rapes falls on this one woman. What about all the men at the party? Why didn't they say anything? Why do people only target the women to try to stop these injustices AGAINST women BY men?

Well, exactly, but trying to explain that is like trying to have a conversation with Humpty Dumpty.

 

[telephone89]

Well, exactly, but trying to explain that is like trying to have a conversation with Humpty Dumpty.

Just more proof that women are responsible for everything bad that happens, apparently to anyone.
(hello mac miller)

 

[OreoRosies86]

Just more proof that women are responsible for everything bad that happens, apparently to anyone.
(hello mac miller)

She was supposed to SAVE him, telephone! It was her ONLY job!

 

[monarch64]

I do my part by raising sons that respect women thank you very much. But espousing that women have no responsibility in their own safety is the ultimate head in the sand position.

Red, I know you've raised your sons to respect other humans, period. Of course everyone has responsibility in their safety. That does not mean that women and girls cannot participate in activities where there are men/drinking/drugs or you know, jog alone on a trail in broad daylight, etc. because they'll probably get raped. My daughter is 6 and taking karate lessons. Should I tell her the real reason she's taking them isn't for funsies but may come in handy over the years when she gets assaulted when she chooses to wear a short skirt? Or, should we all work together and be sure both the girls AND the boys in classes like those and all aspects of education/parental guidance understand that they are not to rape other people? (Rhetorical question.)

 

[Calliecake]

Of course anyone who sexually assaults someone should go to jail but that is not what happens in our society. The flipping President is a sexual assaulter and we have 1/2 the country thinking we don’t need an FBI investigation into the Supreme Court hearing for Kavanaugh.

What will it take 100 women coming forward? We all know know 19 wasn’t enough to keep the country from voting for Trump.

Any sane person at this point should want an FBI investigation. I would think if Kavanaugh is innocent, he would be leading the pack asking for one. ...And yet he is not.

Trump and the GOP’s misogyny is on full display. It’s appalling.

 

[redwood66]

Red, I know you've raised your sons to respect other humans, period. Of course everyone has responsibility in their safety. That does not mean that women and girls cannot participate in activities where there are men/drinking/drugs or you know, jog alone on a trail in broad daylight, etc. because they'll probably get raped. My daughter is 6 and taking karate lessons. Should I tell her the real reason she's taking them isn't for funsies but may come in handy over the years when she gets assaulted when she chooses to wear a short skirt? Or, should we all work together and be sure both the girls AND the boys in classes like those and all aspects of education/parental guidance understand that they are not to rape other people? (Rhetorical question.)

We should do all of those things. And I have never said that people should not participate in activities, only that they realize the risks and actually assess if it is worth it. Because doing whatever you want whenever you want can be a risk to one's safety. That is all I am saying. But people want to get on that soapbox to shout disgusting comments about other women who only have safety in mind. It is too all or nothing with many people here.

 

[Calliecake]

If women stayed home anytime there was a risk of being raped, they need to know they aren’t 100% safe anywhere. I was raped in my home in the middle of the night with all my doors flipping locked.

Look at the people who were sexually assaulted in their church.

Enough with the victim blaming. It’s the fault of the rapist period.

 

[redwood66]

Yes. Because I said that every rape can be prevented. Good grief. Like I said, all or nothing with some here which is why no reasonable conversation can be had with them.

 

[Calliecake]

@redwood66 It hurts a nerve with me every time you go back to blame the women who didn’t report, knowing full well there are women on this forum who chose not to report a sexual assault. I find it extremely insensitive.

If I had been date raped, I have no doubt I would not have been strong enough to report it. The women is almost never believed and the rape culture in our country is ridiculous. I’ve listened to women make some of the comments you have made for years. Women are often the most judgemental of other women.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I am beyond baffled that WOMEN posting here see no problem with this 3rd accuser admitting to being an accomplice to multiple gang rape events simply because she later became a victim. Becoming a victim of something does NOT excuse your actions leading up to that event whether it is the same “crime” or not. I’m not talking about what she wore to a party, whether she chose to drink, etc. Let me state this again: SHE KNEW GANG RAPE PARTIES WERE HAPPENING, AND SHE CHOSE TO KEEP GOING TO THEM. Lest I missed in her statement that someone held a gun to her head and forced her to keep going.

If you don’t see a problem with her knowingly attending gang rape parties simply because she eventually became a victim of one of them, congratulations on contributing to the very ‘culture’ you claim you to want to end.

 

[redwood66]

@redwood66 It hurts a nerve with me every time you go back to blame the women who didn’t report, knowing full well there are women on this forum who chose not to report a sexual assault. I find it extremely insensitive.

If I had been date raped, I have no doubt I would not have been strong enough to report it. The women is almost never believed and the rape culture in our country is ridiculous. I’ve listened to women make some of the comments you have made for years. Women are often the most judgemental of other women.

You have no idea where my perspective comes from because it is nothing about judgment.

There are tens thousands of men in prison who have done unspeakable things to women, children and other men. Every time I read a file that describes what was done to a woman how I wished she had not been at that location, or trusted those people, or wish she saw the signs, etc. Most of the women in the files I read are no longer here to speak for themselves because they are buried in the ground. The graphic photos of maimed and deceased women who can no longer be with their kids or go shopping or see their friends for coffee or argue with other women on the internet are burned in my brain.

I will make no apologies for my views because I walked among these scumbags knowing what they did and seeing no remorse. They would have slit my throat or raped me if they had the chance.

 

[OboeGal]

I am beyond baffled that WOMEN posting here see no problem with this 3rd accuser admitting to being an accomplice to multiple gang rape events simply because she later became a victim. Becoming a victim of something does NOT excuse your actions leading up to that event whether it is the same “crime” or not. I’m not talking about what she wore to a party, whether she chose to drink, etc. Let me state this again: SHE KNEW GANG RAPE PARTIES WERE HAPPENING, AND SHE CHOSE TO KEEP GOING TO THEM. Lest I missed in her statement that someone held a gun to her head and forced her to keep going.

If you don’t see a problem with her knowingly attending gang rape parties actions simply because she eventually became a victim of one of them, congratulations on contributing to the very ‘culture’ you claim you to want to end.

Just throwing this out there - how do you know that she wasn't warning other women at these parties? That she hadn't gone to officials at the school about the parties, but was not taken seriously? That she hadn't tried to convince other women who had been assaulted to go to the authorities and press charges, but couldn't convince them? You don't know that - none of us do, if we're going to deal in facts. Maybe some of these women continued to go with the hopes that they could help to protect their friends. You simply do not know. You have described yourself as someone who deals in facts, not feelings, but you are making strong character judgements against a women based on assumptions about her choices and decision-making when you don't have enough facts to make those assumptions. In addition, you seem to be assessing her actions, based on your assumptions about them, as being just as bad as the actions of the rapists themselves. So far in your comments you have expressed much more outrage and condemnation toward her than you have toward the rapists themselves. Although I fully admit I may be wrong, this looks like political bias to me.

 

[OreoRosies86]

The past few years have indeed been eye opening. It's funny, men do possess these qualities too, but there is a very particular type of woman, who becomes literally enraged when she sees another woman (to put it in very basic terms) doing whatever she wants. Whether it be speaking freely, manner of dress, social behavior etc. I see it all over my social media and in my real life now that I have noticed it, and it's definitely something I want to research.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Just throwing this out there - how do you know that she wasn't warning other women at these parties? That she hadn't gone to officials at the school about the parties, but was not taken seriously? That she hadn't tried to convince other women who had been assaulted to go to the authorities and press charges, but couldn't convince them? You don't know that - none of us do, if we're going to deal in facts. Maybe some of these women continued to go with the hopes that they could help to protect their friends. You simply do not know. You have described yourself as someone who deals in facts, not feelings, but you are making strong character judgements against a women based on assumptions about her choices and decision-making when you don't have enough facts to make those assumptions. In addition, you seem to be assessing her actions, based on your assumptions about them, as being just as bad as the actions of the rapists themselves. So far in your comments you have expressed much more outrage and condemnation toward her than you have toward the rapists themselves. Although I fully admit I may be wrong, this looks like political bias to me.

I don’t know that she wasn’t warning other women; her statement is silent to that. I suppose - giving her the benefit of the doubt - that she was attending these parties as some sort of undercover police sting operation to try and crack down on high schoolers partying and committing assault, but I’d think that would be part of her statement as well, and it’s not.

What it isn’t silent to is that she attended multiple gang rape parties, and no reasonable person I know - who views a particular behavior as wrong, abhorrent, criminal, disgusting, etc., keeps participating in activities demonstrating such behavior they object to.

I have no idea what this woman’s political affiliation is, and I don’t care what affiliation anyone is who chooses to be an accomplice to violent crime - they’re criminal - PERIOD! To try and paint this picture with any other color is only blinding yourself.

 

[partgypsy]

I think it's entirely possible that she went to these parties, and again when you go to these type of pop up parties, you don't necessarily know who is going to be there. And she probably as she was going to them, saw guys waiting outside closed doors. She heard rumors about spiking drinks. It probably wasn't until she herself was drugged and raped, that she put all those things together. Because yes until it happens to you, you might have suspicions but no proof. Because it IS pretty crazy.

Calling her an accomplice, what a joke. You call her an accomplice (even though she's a victim) but you won't call Kavanaugh that. Seems fair. The definition of an accomplice is someone who helps another person commit a crime. Attending a party is NOT being an accomplice. At most, a bystander. Waiting outside a door so the person inside who is taking advantage of someone, is not interrupted, accomplice. Spiking a drink, even if he did not do the raping - accomplice to a crime.

At least I agree with you on one thing
"anyone is who chooses to be an accomplice to violent crime - they’re criminal -PERIOD".

 

[monarch64]

The past few years have indeed been eye opening. It's funny, men do possess these qualities too, but there is a very particular type of woman, who becomes literally enraged when she sees another woman (to put it in very basic terms) doing whatever she wants. Whether it be speaking freely, manner of dress, social behavior etc. I see it all over my social media and in my real life now that I have noticed it, and it's definitely something I want to research.

I believe that's whats called "women policing other women." https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...-prison-of-belief_us_58d4f098e4b06c3d3d3e6c7e

 

[telephone89]

I am beyond baffled that WOMEN posting here see no problem with this 3rd accuser admitting to being an accomplice to multiple gang rape events simply because she later became a victim. Becoming a victim of something does NOT excuse your actions leading up to that event whether it is the same “crime” or not. I’m not talking about what she wore to a party, whether she chose to drink, etc. Let me state this again: SHE KNEW GANG RAPE PARTIES WERE HAPPENING, AND SHE CHOSE TO KEEP GOING TO THEM. Lest I missed in her statement that someone held a gun to her head and forced her to keep going.

If you don’t see a problem with her knowingly attending gang rape parties simply because she eventually became a victim of one of them, congratulations on contributing to the very ‘culture’ you claim you to want to end.

I am beyond baffled that you are more upset about a woman not reporting something THAN ACTUAL MEN RAPING WOMEN.

Seriously???????

 

[OboeGal]

I don’t know that she wasn’t warning other women; her statement is silent to that. I suppose - giving her the benefit of the doubt - that she was attending these parties as some sort of undercover police sting operation to try and crack down on high schoolers partying and committing assault, but I’d think that would be part of her statement as well, and it’s not.

What it isn’t silent to is that she attended multiple gang rape parties, and no reasonable person I know - who views a particular behavior as wrong, abhorrent, criminal, disgusting, etc., keeps participating in activities demonstrating such behavior they object to.

I have no idea what this woman’s political affiliation is, and I don’t care what affiliation anyone is who chooses to be an accomplice to violent crime - they’re criminal - PERIOD! To try and paint this picture with any other color is only blinding yourself.

I have known many, many highly ethical women who, especially as young women or girls, accompanied their friends to parties they personally had no desire to attend specifically because they knew their friends were going, with or without them, and they hoped by going they could help protect their friends or steer them away from making poorer choices. I did this myself, some in high school, and particularly in college. I myself had no desire to go to these parties, and in fact hated them, but I had friends I cared about who wished to go and "have fun" or be accepted by and part of the more popular crowd. I was concerned about their well-being, so would go because I knew I wasn't going to knowingly drink alcohol or make riskier choices there, and hoped that I could look out for them - be a "designated driver", both literally and in a broader sense, if you will. I saw the same happen all the time among women in other friend groups, as well. Of course, it was idealistic, as there was a limit to how much influence I could exert over my friends' choices ultimately, but I hope my presence was of some help.

In addition, she wasn't psychic. She couldn't know ahead of time when gang rape was going to occur at a party. I'm pretty certain it wasn't announced in the invitation as being one of the planned activities. We don't know what number of parties she attended and what percentage of them had gang rape occurring. What if it only occurred at 10% of the parties she attended? Should that mean she should never attend any party ever because this happened at some of them? By that logic, no one should ever go to a party where there is alcohol ever again because violence and rape has occurred at some parties somewhere.

My remark about political bias was not in reference to her political affiliation - it was in reference to yours. You are making harsh character judgements and condemning her severely - to an extent well beyond any condemnation you've made of the rapists themselves - and insisting that affects her credibility. It's difficult not to see that as a result of the fact that her allegations are severely threatening to the Supreme Court confirmation that your party is going to all-out great lengths to protect.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I have known many, many highly ethical women who, especially as young women or girls, accompanied their friends to parties they personally had no desire to attend specifically because they knew their friends were going, with or without them, and they hoped by going they could help protect their friends or steer them away from making poorer choices. I did this myself, some in high school, and particularly in college. I myself had no desire to go to these parties, and in fact hated them, but I had friends I cared about who wished to go and "have fun" or be accepted by and part of the more popular crowd. I was concerned about their well-being, so would go because I knew I wasn't going to knowingly drink alcohol or make riskier choices there, and hoped that I could look out for them - be a "designated driver", both literally and in a broader sense, if you will. I saw the same happen all the time among women in other friend groups, as well. Of course, it was idealistic, as there was a limit to how much influence I could exert over my friends' choices ultimately, but I hope my presence was of some help.

In addition, she wasn't psychic. She couldn't know ahead of time when gang rape was going to occur at a party. I'm pretty certain it wasn't announced in the invitation as being one of the planned activities. We don't know what number of parties she attended and what percentage of them had gang rape occurring. What if it only occurred at 10% of the parties she attended? Should that mean she should never attend any party ever because this happened at some of them? By that logic, no one should ever go to a party where there is alcohol ever again because violence and rape has occurred at some parties somewhere.

My remark about political bias was not in reference to her political affiliation - it was in reference to yours. You are making harsh character judgements and condemning her severely - to an extent well beyond any condemnation you've made of the rapists themselves - and insisting that affects her credibility. It's difficult not to see that as a result of the fact that her allegations are severely threatening to the Supreme Court confirmation that your party is going to all-out great lengths to protect.

#1) it’s a poor choice to begin with to go to a party with a group of people you know (her words) by your own experience are gang raping girls, much less repeated parties - with or without a ‘chaperone’. You, Elliott, and whomever else on here can bark about ‘women’s choice’ all you want but nothing will convince me otherwise. She was either dumb as a box of rocks or an accomplice. Condone it however you want.

#2) it doesn’t require being psychic to know what might happen when you have seen it with your own eyes - again, HER statement - repeatedly. Whether it was once or a dozen times, isn’t once enough? Or do you/others have a threshold for how many gang rapes one needs to witness and continue attending before you raise an eyebrow?

#3) no one’s politics matter here. I don’t differentiate criminals based on politics - crime is crime PERIOD. It would seem to me - reading these responses (not just yours) - that women who witness gang rape occurring get a pass because they really, really, really just wanted to go to a party or hang out with friends or whatever other ‘choice’ they want to make because they have that right given they possess a vagina, but men who go to the same parties, even if they don’t participate in the crime, they must be persecuted. That is about as disgusting a double standard as it gets, and no person - man or woman - who excuses it deserves an ounce of respect IMO.

Let me be clear about my stance - ANYONE who witnesses such a crime and does nothing is worse than scum, regardless of their genitalia. I’m not giving Kav a pass; he didn’t make the statement that gang rapes were occurring at his ‘frat boy parties’; this 3rd accuser did, and I am taking both persons’ statements on their face as truthful given they both made them under penalty of perjury.

I am not overlooking her victim status in the least as I said from my first post about her statement; that is a separate crime. But how anyone can excuse this accuser’s admittance in the same statement and not raise an eyebrow needs their morals, ethics ... their everything seriously checked.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I believe that's whats called "women policing other women." https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...-prison-of-belief_us_58d4f098e4b06c3d3d3e6c7e

Definitely but on a psychological level I think it goes even deeper. It really is a rage, maybe stemming from they fact that they feel powerless in their own lives/relationships/careers.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I am beyond baffled that you are more upset about a woman not reporting something THAN ACTUAL MEN RAPING WOMEN.

Seriously???????

Their is no admission by (or evidence of) Kav that he raped anyone.

There is an admission by Swetnick that she frequented parties with people she knew were gang-raping girls at these same parties she chose to attend.

Seriously ????????? If you can’t see the difference, I don’t know what to tell you.

But since you seem concerned about my stance, let me be crystal clear: I would gladly donate the gun and bullets (if the law allowed, of course) to terminate the life of anyone who participates, enables, et al a rape/gang-rape when it is proven that person is guilty.

 

[redwood66]

I believe that's whats called "women policing other women." https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...-prison-of-belief_us_58d4f098e4b06c3d3d3e6c7e

Are you intending to apply this to specific women posting here or is it more general?

 

[Calliecake]

Two more women are coming forward anonymously.

Do the Republicans think the press will not continue to investigate all allegations even if they confirm Kavanaugh?

 

[cmd2014]

Two more women are coming forward anonymously.

Do the Republicans think the press will not continue to investigate all allegations even if they confirm Kavanaugh?

It doesn't matter. No woman will ever be considered credible enough. There is no magic number of women that will ever be large enough.

 

[JPie]

Yet another accuser has come forward. I wonder what the final tally will be?

Jennifer Epstein‏Verified account@jeneps 53m53 minutes ago
Another accusation against Kavanaugh that he was asked about by Senate staffers this week: an alleged rape on a boat in Rhode Island in 1985. Kavanaugh denies.

 

[monarch64]

Are you intending to apply this to specific women posting here or is it more general?

Just a general aside.

 

[the_mother_thing]

At this point, it certainly seems that the additional FBI investigation Dems are foaming at the mouth over would be pretty darn worthless if none of their previous 6 investigations into Kav’s background failed to turn up a single shred of this mass ‘rape culture’ he allegedly surrounded himself with.

What’s even more sick and twisted about this Swetnick statement - and those who rush to her defense - is that she appears to have attended these parties - where young girls were being raped - AS AN ADULT. She graduated in 1980, and claims to have attended these parties in 1981-82, so unless she graduated a few years early (possible), she admits to knowingly attending gang-rape parties as an adult while minor girls were being abused. Her admission disgusts me.

What’s not to ‘believe’ about her allegations ... every woman has the right to choose to have a fun night out after all.

Those who ignore this woman’s admission disgust me.

 

[partgypsy]

He seems to like boats. And buses.

2001 Maryland boat trip, One Kavanaugh buddy, whose name is redacted but who identifies himself as “your cruise director” writes an email with the subject line “Su Ching is booked.” The email reads in part: “Although you may be hoping that I’ve lined up a hostess for a rub-n-tug massage session, ‘su Ching’ actually is the sailboat (a Tayana 55) we’ve got … out of Annapolis.”

In an email dated September 10, 2001, Kavanaugh records his satisfaction with the adventure: “Excellent time. Apologies to all for missing Friday (good excuse), arriving late Saturday (weak excuse), and growing aggressive after blowing still another game of dice (don’t recall). Reminders to everyone to be very very vigilant w/r/t confidentiality on all issues and all fronts including with spouses."

When asked, what was so incredibly confidential, he said it referenced asking his friends to keep quiet that he was going to -go on a date. Yeah that sounds right. I can understand if his background check was anything like that and accepting answers like that no wonder he "passed".

I don't know if Kavanaugh is a serial rapist. But at minimum he aided and abetted (was an accomplice to) friend or friends who serially abused and possibly raped teen girls and women. He continued to associate with men who abused women not just in High school but through college and possibly beyond. There's simply no excuse.

 

[OboeGal]

#1) it’s a poor choice to begin with to go to a party with a group of people you know (her words) by your own experience are gang raping girls, much less repeated parties - with or without a ‘chaperone’. You, Elliott, and whomever else on here can bark about ‘women’s choice’ all you want but nothing will convince me otherwise. She was either dumb as a box of rocks or an accomplice. Condone it however you want.

#2) it doesn’t require being psychic to know what might happen when you have seen it with your own eyes - again, HER statement - repeatedly. Whether it was once or a dozen times, isn’t once enough? Or do you/others have a threshold for how many gang rapes one needs to witness and continue attending before you raise an eyebrow?

#3) no one’s politics matter here. I don’t differentiate criminals based on politics - crime is crime PERIOD. It would seem to me - reading these responses (not just yours) - that women who witness gang rape occurring get a pass because they really, really, really just wanted to go to a party or hang out with friends or whatever other ‘choice’ they want to make because they have that right given they possess a vagina, but men who go to the same parties, even if they don’t participate in the crime, they must be persecuted. That is about as disgusting a double standard as it gets, and no person - man or woman - who excuses it deserves an ounce of respect IMO.

Let me be clear about my stance - ANYONE who witnesses such a crime and does nothing is worse than scum, regardless of their genitalia. I’m not giving Kav a pass; he didn’t make the statement that gang rapes were occurring at his ‘frat boy parties’; this 3rd accuser did, and I am taking both persons’ statements on their face as truthful given they both made them under penalty of perjury.

I am not overlooking her victim status in the least as I said from my first post about her statement; that is a separate crime. But how anyone can excuse this accuser’s admittance in the same statement and not raise an eyebrow needs their morals, ethics ... their everything seriously checked.

To points 1 and 2: Again - she did not necessarily know that the people participating in sexual assault in a past party were going to be at another party ahead of time. It is very common at parties in that age group for guests of the party to invite other guests along, who invite other guests, and on and on, to the point where even the host of the party has really no idea who is ultimately going to show up. You're assuming she consistently knew ahead of time, but you don't have enough information to back that up. Ultimately, the only way she could have ensured that she was never at a party where those people might show up would have been to never go to a party again in that area. How realistic is that for a teenage or college-age kid? I agree that if she knew ahead of time that those same people were going to be at a party, and that they had a repeated pattern of assaulting women/girls at these parties, it was a poor choice for her to go, but making poor choices is not equivalent to her eyewitness testimony being deemed not credible, nor does it make her complicit in assault of others. You're assuming that she never did or said anything against the behavior of the assaulters, but that is just that - an assumption without facts.

Oh, and I just love the implicit personal attack - that I and other liberals have some higher "threshold" of tolerance for gang rape. Typical deflection/counterattack.

To point 3: You are showing the very same type of double standard you speak of - you're literally branding her a criminal for having witnessed gang rape and decrying her for not doing something about it - based on your ASSUMPTION that she didn't try to do something about it - while in the same statement making it clear that men who were present but did not participate should not be persecuted. You do not have enough facts to brand her a "criminal". To our knowledge, she has not committed a crime. Witnessing a crime is not a crime. That goes for both males and females. Male or female, those at the parties that did not participate in or help with or help arrange assaults are not guilty of crime. I've never implied that males who are just witnesses are. That goes for Kavanaugh as well; just being present at a party where such assaults occurred does not make him guilty of something. Only participating/helping does. I think most people here, myself included, would hope that anyone, male or female, who witnessed such an incident would step up and try to do something about it, but I also acknowledge that there could be several reasons why they might not. Some of those reasons might be more understandable, such as fear of retribution, while others might indicate more questionable character. But - being a crappy person isn't a crime, and it doesn't mean that someone's eyewitness testimony is automatically not credible. How many criminal cases have been settled by the testimony of an accomplice who has cut a plea deal to testify against the person on trial? Clearly, the court considered the testimony credible, even though it came from not just a crappy person, but an admitted criminal. Her character is not relevant to the facts of what happened, and she isn't nominated for the Supreme Court. He is; therefore, his character is of somewhat more relevance.

 

[monarch64]

Definitely but on a psychological level I think it goes even deeper. It really is a rage, maybe stemming from they fact that they feel powerless in their own lives/relationships/careers.

Internalized misogyny, self-hatred, etc.

My mother was raped when she was 18. She babysat for many families in her neighborhood, and one night as she was leaving one of their homes after the children's parents had gotten home, the husband knocked my mother down in the front hall and raped her. Kids/mom were upstairs. She never reported it. She never told anyone, until she told me when I was 18 and getting ready to go off to college. Prior to that she did every single thing in her power (so she thought) to keep me from going on dates, going to parties, or wearing anything she deemed "suggestive." It was a horrible time in my life and my brother, 4 years older than me, was treated COMPLETELY differently. I won't even get into that because it's irrelevant to this discussion. My mother has always been very religious. Think about what religion teaches women. That we are weaker. That we are to serve and obey men. Etc. All of that internalized b.s. has got to weigh on a person, and in the context of women policing other women, makes it real easy to trust no bitch, to borrow a line from Orange is the New Black. In my mother's case, she wasn't necessarily policing ME, she thought she was raising me, but I can tell you there have been plenty of instances throughout our lives when I've heard her make disparaging remarks about other women. And she is super proud of staying married for 50 years even though my father cheated on her countless times. This is the shit that people don't get. "why would she stand by her rapist/sexual predator husband? Why wouldn't she speak up? Why didn't she report her rape?"

What would've happened to my mother, in her small town in WI (think Lake Woebegone and also f$%% you Garrison Keillor for being another piece of shit perv) in the early 1960s if she had reported her rape? Her father was a carpenter. Her mother a concert violinist, pianist, and seamstress. She had two younger sisters. They would have been run out of town. My mother lives two states away and still has the same friends from high school. They all keep in touch (those who are alive still) and share all kinds of things about the "good old days" on Facebook. She grew up there. Her whole identity was and still is very tied to it. Unfortunately some ******* decided to stick his dick in her one night without her consent and she had no option other than to keep quiet or wreck a whole lotta lives. No one would've believed her. She'd have been called a "homewrecker" and worse, and townspeople would've found a way to blame her. You know, kind of like every other rape victim who reports their rape in the history of ever.

There will come a day people don't even think to ask those questions any longer because we are working towards becoming a more woke society. Not gonna happen in my lifetime, but maybe someday.