- Joined
- Jun 7, 2014
- Messages
- 9,237
One of the most beautiful women I have ever known was 300 pounds. Everyone who was lucky enough to know her, loved her.
I watched a series on TV that was called something like "The First Lady Detective Agency". It takes place in Africa and the characters are black. The main character is a rather heavy set woman who never lacks attention from some men. Her character is a delight, and while I found the attentions of these men to feel unusual to me, as the series progressed this became less of an issue for me.
I heard from two of my friends. Guess what? Their husbands aren't sorry at all. They actually think their actions were justified.
??????!!!!!!!!
Well, I'm just gonna put it all out there....
According to Weight Watchers and the BMI thingy, I'm about 50 lbs overweight. So those guys who left their wives would have been out the door if they'd been married to me as fast as their little legs could carry them, all the time looking over their shoulders screaming "Oh my God - she's FAAAAAAAT!"
But y'know what? I LOVE the way I look. Not because I look beautiful, in my opinion, but because I look substantial and strong. I work out a lot, I eat well - and I eat a lot - and I have a sensual joie de vivre that puts a smile on my face every day. As it turns out, a lot of men find that quite attractive. But here's the thing;
I don't really care.
I had an epiphany some years ago: it's not a case of 'do you like me?' It's a case of 'do I like YOU?' And I can tell you for nuthin', if I had even the slightest HINT that my being thinner was important to some guy, he would have had ZERO chance with me. I'm not trying to look perfect - it's too hard, too time consuming, and wrong-focussed in my opinion. I'm trying to look what I consider to be 'good enough'. What *I* consider to be good enough. Not anybody else. I value things like grooming, good taste, intelligence, education, manners, kindness, laughter, strength of character and honor. Oh - and good teeth. I like good teeth.
OK, here goes: Calliecake, thank you for that explanation.
I've lost my long post now, due to computer patch!
Long story short: I have three friends whose husbands have LEFT THEM over their weight. None are morbidly obese; all are under 200 pounds - mostly, well under. Two are in the five feet three/five feet four range, and one is five six. Weights are about 160 and 180, but the latter was about 160 for most of her marriage, and the third one, the tallest, I'm not sure as I haven't seen her since she had her kids - she lives across the country.
I have another friend who had real issues with this in the past. Her husband was mean to her about her weight for eight months before deciding he wanted to be with her as she was, after all. She's five five and weighed about 170 at her heaviest.
I have another two friends who are slim but whose husbands watch their weight like a hawk. One of them can't have a second slice of pizza without getting a comment.
Two of the friends who have been left have two children each. Their worlds are all shattered.
I have no idea how to comfort my friends. Internet research is useless on this topic- full of trolls.
Do people really divorce for a weight gain of 40-60 lbs over quite a few years of marriage? People talk about it on the internet and who say that yes, it is ground for divorce, seem to hurriedly justify themselves by saying "Oh, if someone is 300-400 lbs" etc. The friends I know who have marriage problems because of weight are not as heavy as that.
Just because someone gets chubby, they're the same person, you know? But a frighteningly high number of people seem to think the weight is a reason to divorce, even if the person is not morbidly obese. It's sad, and I don't know how to comfort my friends.
I also have another friend who is five feet and weighs almost 170, and her husband is kind to her about it and would never leave her, although he HAS asked her to lose weight.
My poor friends. They're such wonderful women, too. I feel they are being undervalued by their husbands, but it seems a lot of people think weight gain IS grounds for divorce.
They probably just want a different new DNA unit to use to pass on their DNA ... IOW out with the old and in with a new sex partner.
How many men are going to admit THAT to their wife? ... or even be honest with themselves that this is what they want?
These days many people aren't very fond of taking responsibility for their actions.
Well, I'm just gonna put it all out there....
According to Weight Watchers and the BMI thingy, I'm about 50 lbs overweight. So those guys who left their wives would have been out the door if they'd been married to me as fast as their little legs could carry them, all the time looking over their shoulders screaming "Oh my God - she's FAAAAAAAT!"
But y'know what? I LOVE the way I look. Not because I look beautiful, in my opinion, but because I look substantial and strong. I work out a lot, I eat well - and I eat a lot - and I have a sensual joie de vivre that puts a smile on my face every day. As it turns out, a lot of men find that quite attractive. But here's the thing;
I don't really care.
I had an epiphany some years ago: it's not a case of 'do you like me?' It's a case of 'do I like YOU?' And I can tell you for nuthin', if I had even the slightest HINT that my being thinner was important to some guy, he would have had ZERO chance with me. I'm not trying to look perfect - it's too hard, too time consuming, and wrong-focussed in my opinion. I'm trying to look what I consider to be 'good enough'. What *I* consider to be good enough. Not anybody else. I value things like grooming, good taste, intelligence, education, manners, kindness, laughter, strength of character and honor. Oh - and good teeth. I like good teeth. (see?)
I have an interesting body, and it's a good friend of mine. I actually love being substantial. I'm not really fat as such, I'm more...just...large? The attached photo is me post gym, and I've worked hard to be healthy while still carrying extra weight. I know I'm lying down in this photo (which I posted before in the boob shots for Pinto!) - but you can see my ribs protruding a little and my hips also. My stomach is flat, my breasts are round, and, despite being large, I consider myself to be lush.
Some agree with me. Others don't. Who cares? Just be careful not to marry one of the ones that doesn't. And as for leaving someone to whom you've made a lifetime commitment because they put some fat on their bodies? Oh pahlease - who are you?? Although I suppose at that point, we know exactly who you are.
There was a cartoon pinup girl in the 1950's known as Hilda. She is my inspiration. Here's an article with a few of her drawings; she's always full of life and having a go at new things. I love her.
http://www.messynessychic.com/2016/08/02/americas-forgotten-pin-up-girl/
Well, I'm just gonna put it all out there....
According to Weight Watchers and the BMI thingy, I'm about 50 lbs overweight. So those guys who left their wives would have been out the door if they'd been married to me as fast as their little legs could carry them, all the time looking over their shoulders screaming "Oh my God - she's FAAAAAAAT!"
But y'know what? I LOVE the way I look. Not because I look beautiful, in my opinion, but because I look substantial and strong. I work out a lot, I eat well - and I eat a lot - and I have a sensual joie de vivre that puts a smile on my face every day. As it turns out, a lot of men find that quite attractive. But here's the thing;
I don't really care.
I had an epiphany some years ago: it's not a case of 'do you like me?' It's a case of 'do I like YOU?' And I can tell you for nuthin', if I had even the slightest HINT that my being thinner was important to some guy, he would have had ZERO chance with me. I'm not trying to look perfect - it's too hard, too time consuming, and wrong-focussed in my opinion. I'm trying to look what I consider to be 'good enough'. What *I* consider to be good enough. Not anybody else. I value things like grooming, good taste, intelligence, education, manners, kindness, laughter, strength of character and honor. Oh - and good teeth. I like good teeth. (see?)
I have an interesting body, and it's a good friend of mine. I actually love being substantial. I'm not really fat as such, I'm more...just...large? The attached photo is me post gym, and I've worked hard to be healthy while still carrying extra weight. I know I'm lying down in this photo (which I posted before in the boob shots for Pinto!) - but you can see my ribs protruding a little and my hips also. My stomach is flat, my breasts are round, and, despite being large, I consider myself to be lush.
Some agree with me. Others don't. Who cares? Just be careful not to marry one of the ones that doesn't. And as for leaving someone to whom you've made a lifetime commitment because they put some fat on their bodies? Oh pahlease - who are you?? Although I suppose at that point, we know exactly who you are.
There was a cartoon pinup girl in the 1950's known as Hilda. She is my inspiration. Here's an article with a few of her drawings; she's always full of life and having a go at new things. I love her.
http://www.messynessychic.com/2016/08/02/americas-forgotten-pin-up-girl/