Wanting but Waiting...

[rosetta]

Yes ladies, I can confirm elderly primigravida is for over 35, and not 30. They like to use that term in the UK, synonymous with advanced maternal age.

Phew. We've got a few more years left yet girls!

Though I think they should revise it to over 40.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Yes ladies, I can confirm elderly primigravida is for over 35, and not 30. They like to use that term in the UK, synonymous with advanced maternal age.

Phew. We've got a few more years left yet girls!

Though I think they should revise it to over 40.

OK that makes me happy!!!! I am hoping to be done with kids before I become an "elderly primagravia." But I might be one when I have my second kid.

 

[katamari]

Thanks to NEL, Dreamer, Blen, and all of you who talked about your savings. We are basically in the same boat where one salary or nearly would go to childcare and provision. Neither of us have any interest, though, in staying home or giving up our careers. I just have all my eggs in the if-your-partner-is-fully-supportive-it-will-be-okay basket and will keep hoping it works out.

I can actually see myself with an older child/teen, but not a baby or toddler. I think it is because that is when I expect to most enjoy parenting (not that I actually know). We are all just weird in different ways, right?

DH just found out today that he didn't get a job he was really hoping to get. We relocated in September and he hasn't been able to find work yet in our new city. He was so upset, mainly, because it basically means we may have to postpone TTC (our current plan is summer). He kept saying "I just feel like I let our family down." It actually made me want to have a family with him even more to see how important it was for him.

Katamari,

I think the bolded part is the most important thing to maintaining a successful career while raising children (actually the most important thing in general, but especially where the mother works out of the home). I am an attorney and DH works in finance. We both spent a lot of time and money getting our graduate degrees and worked hard to get to where we are today. We love our DD more than anything, but we also love our careers. Having a fully supportive partner who pulls his weight has been invaluable to me. There are times when I am at work until midnight or later or have to travel out of town. Although of course I miss seeing my daughter on those days, I can concentrate on working because I know her dad is taking great care of her. DH is as capable as I am of feeding, bathing and playing with DD. I do the same for him when the tables are turned. I have some friends in my field whose DHs don't really participate in child raising and wouldn't be able to get through a night without their wives there. That simply wouldn't work for us and frankly I have no idea how they do it.

Totally big fat ditto. I am a prof and travel fairly often for work, and work at night or weekends fairly often. My husband is utterly capable of caring for our son in my stead and that is a big boon for my career. He also is supportive of how important my career is for me. He also travels regularly and I pick up the slack at those times. So while it can seem a small thing, having that support in place is really so important for a woman who wants to continue to thrive in her career -- and marriage -- post-baby.

Thank you for the reassurance, NovemberBride and Dreamer. Other aspects of my life are better because DH is so supportive, so I should put more faith in our family life, too, I suppose.

---

Now, as for elderly primigravida, it really is just about odds changing. The risks are always there, and they are always less common than having non-problematic pregnancies. We will all be whatever age we are when we TTC, and I believe you really just have to see it for what it is. You can always get genetic screenings, fertility physicals, and amnio checks if you are truly worried. But, there is no reason to go borrowing troubles, you know?

 

[megumic]

Just popping in to share a few things:

1. still wanting
2. still waiting
3. officially off HBC
4. officially (still) not TTC

We had a long conversation last night about finances after inadvertently watching Suze Orman. (So lame, a Saturday night watching Suze, talking about money and guzzling red wine because I'm so frustrated about finances affecting when to have kids...) DH said that he thought maybe we should wait another year just to be safer financially. I basically laid down the line and said that if we had to wait any longer than we've already planned, I think my head might blow up. Ugh. I literally feel like a ticking timebomb about this. While I truly do enjoy my life, my independence and freedom, I would give it all up instantly. I am just so uncomfortable hinging our personal lives on our professional and financial lives...

 

[suchende]

Just popping in to share a few things:

1. still wanting
2. still waiting
3. officially off HBC
4. officially (still) not TTC

We had a long conversation last night about finances after inadvertently watching Suze Orman. (So lame, a Saturday night watching Suze, talking about money and guzzling red wine because I'm so frustrated about finances affecting when to have kids...) DH said that he thought maybe we should wait another year just to be safer financially. I basically laid down the line and said that if we had to wait any longer than we've already planned, I think my head might blow up. Ugh. I literally feel like a ticking timebomb about this. While I truly do enjoy my life, my independence and freedom, I would give it all up instantly. I am just so uncomfortable hinging our personal lives on our professional and financial lives...

megumic, had you contemplated a 3L baby? if you did, can i ask why you decided against it? you mentioned you have a clerkship lined up (congratulations!) but what about after that? are you thinking a firm, gov't, ...?

i am a 26-year-old 1L, trying to figure out if waiting really makes sense for us/my fertility.

 

[megumic]

Just popping in to share a few things:

1. still wanting
2. still waiting
3. officially off HBC
4. officially (still) not TTC

We had a long conversation last night about finances after inadvertently watching Suze Orman. (So lame, a Saturday night watching Suze, talking about money and guzzling red wine because I'm so frustrated about finances affecting when to have kids...) DH said that he thought maybe we should wait another year just to be safer financially. I basically laid down the line and said that if we had to wait any longer than we've already planned, I think my head might blow up. Ugh. I literally feel like a ticking timebomb about this. While I truly do enjoy my life, my independence and freedom, I would give it all up instantly. I am just so uncomfortable hinging our personal lives on our professional and financial lives...

megumic, had you contemplated a 3L baby? if you did, can i ask why you decided against it? you mentioned you have a clerkship lined up (congratulations!) but what about after that? are you thinking a firm, gov't, ...?

i am a 26-year-old 1L, trying to figure out if waiting really makes sense for us/my fertility.

We just aren't financially ready and I don't want to be 7 months pregnant taking the bar (snaps to those who have done it!) I honestly felt that the best time to have a baby will be between my clerkship (or at the tail end) and a new job (if I can find one...) I'm hoping to go public interest or government, but the funding is down in our state, so I will certainly be trying for any job in the family/matrimonial field I can get my nose into.

I think it really depends if you can handle law school and a baby. I am a full-time student, do research, many extra curricular activity, have had internships both summers and during two of my semesters -- I just don't think I could have done it all with a new baby. Plus, I would not want to miss those first few months at home. That said, I have a friend who is a part-time student who had her first end of her first semester, and will have her second this May. She does plenty at school as well, but I think the part-time courseload helps and it seems her family has the financial flexibility to have a nanny, etc. making life much easier.

If we had been married when I began law school, we might have gone for number 1 already.

 

[suchende]

thanks! i appreciate hearing your perspective.

 

[Octavia]

Suchende, one of my friends had a toddler when we started law school, and she and her husband had their second child right after graduation. She said the timing was perfect because, although she was a little sleep-deprived when studying for the bar, newborns don't require too much more than being held, fed, changed, and talked to -- so she thought this was very manageable while studying. It also meant she got to be home with the baby all summer before her clerkship started. However, she is one of the most organized, disciplined people I know, her husband has always done everything she needed him to do in order for her to do well in school (I think their plan is for him to be a SAHD eventually and for her to be the breadwinner), and she was also a second-time mom, so she had an idea what she was in for. personally, I could not have done it.

I also knew two women who had babies during 3Land took the year or semester off, then finished up when the baby was a little older. One had a LOT of difficulty going back (emotionally, not academically) and the other was fine. This seems like a manageable option to me, and if DH and I had been married before I started law school, I might have considered it. It does, of course, prolong the amount of time without an income, but it hasn't seemed to hurt them in terms of doing well, taking the bar, finding jobs, etc.

I'm really struggling right now with age vs. career vs. "are we really ready?" so I think you're very wise to think about it early on.

 

[mayachel]

Hi there, I'm just seeing this thread and think it is a great idea. I'm another wanting but waiting. I'm soon to be turning 30, just finishing my MS in midwifery and therefor, it's me we are now waiting on. We just got married in 2010, but have been together for 6 years, after knowing one another for almost 15 years and we already own a house and have lived together for 4+ years. While lots of people have given us advice about spending time together and embracing this time on our own, my clock has been ticking loudly. Especially having had my two closest friends have their first babies last year.

Through the past year of getting to shop and be involved with their pregnancies/births/early mothering, it's made me want to start buying cute, fancy maternity clothes because "might as well, they are on sale now! and that never happens when you really need them" or the adorable adorable sales I see on little baby clothes. To date, I have not in fact done any of this (yet ).

What we have done:
I started taking my vitamins. Especially extra folic acid. My mom also had an early end to her fertile years which makes me a little anxious about my own length and feeling that "advanced maternal age" of 35 growing ever closer. Something that makes me feel like I'm more in control/aware, is I started not only tracking my period, but doing a daily temp chart. It is fascinating and empowering to see the numbers change, know when I'm around my ovulation window, etc... I've always had irregular cycles to a degree, so this makes me feel like at the least, we'll be ready when we ARE ready to start trying to grab that window as quickly as we can, and if there are difficulties I've got a head start on bringing in my data to a health care provider to discuss what's going on.

 

[suchende]

octavia - thanks for the insight. BF and i aren't married, but we both want kids and i think he would be open to the idea of a 3L baby. well, actually i know he would. i think for him though, he just doesn't like the idea of being so hyper-scheduled that we would TTC for this very specific window, but he also understands that the fertility clock is ticking. one of our friends is in her 2nd trimester of an unplanned pregnancy (she's a 2L now) and we've done a lot of talking about what that would look like for us.

in the plus column, i think i would have more time for the baby during 3L than as a first year associate or law clerk (frankly i don't want to clerk; no real interest in litigation). in the minus column, i'd still be starting work with a little one, the BF will be in NYC, and even if i were to apply to be a visiting student in the city, we'd be a 3L and a first year associate with a baby in NYC. but then, is that so much better than a 2nd & 3rd year associate with a newborn? then again, i wouldn't want a second for a while; how big of a gap btw kids is reasonable? then again again, there's never a "good" time for a baby.

tricky.

 

[sctsbride09]

Hey everyone! Hope you all are doing well, I just wanted to share an update on us really quick because Im SUPER excited! We have a baby timeline!!! YAY!! This weekend we had a discussion and decided that we will be starting in summer 2012, its still a long way away, but Im just glad we have decided finally on when to start. Ill be just about 30 then, and we *should* have all our other ducks in a row by then. Hope everyone else is doing great!

 

[lucyandroger]

Hi Suchende! It's good to see you back around! I just thought I would chime in with my 2 cents on the whole law school baby question as a now 3rd year associate.

I used to love the idea of a 3L baby. My FI and I were young 1Ls (went straight through) and met 1L year so we were definitely not ready for a baby 3L year but I used to say that I wished we had been because it was the perfect time to have a baby. The old saying - the first year they scare you to death, second year they work you to death, and third year they bore you to death - is pretty accurate. As a 3L things are a lot more flexible and I found I had a lot more time than 1L or 2L year. Three women had babies during 3L year in my class. They carefully planned their course schedule and took some independent study type courses. One of them graduated on time and two of them took a semester off so graduated in the winter the next year.

But if you're going to a firm, having a young child while being a 1st and 2nd year associate at a firm is really, really hard. Not only is there a lot of work but you have absolutely no control over your schedule. One of the women who had a 3L baby came to my firm and we are good friends. She has been reprimanded at each review for not being in the office enough. Her son has been sick a couple times and she has been working from home a lot. She has a husband with a more regular 9-5 so he drops the kid of at daycare and picks him up as well. It has been really hard on her. So now I'm pretty glad that we didn't have a small child while we were junior associates.

FI and I are getting married in the spring and plan to start TTCing when we get back from the honeymoon. We already know that we will need medical help getting pregnant so it will be a longer process...hoping to be 4th or 5th year associate parents. While we'll still have to work a lot, having control over your schedule and being able to pass off work on junior associates is HUGE.

The other thing I will says is that law firm maternity leave is really awesome. A lot of them now give 18 weeks 100% pay plus additional unpaid leave.

That was long....anyway, just my 2 cents based on my experience thus far.

 

[suchende]

L&R - hi!!

if i were a K-J.D. I wouldn't even consider it, but as has been mentioned, it's never a good time! now, my BF would not be able to do the daycare pick-up/drop-off thing. we might possibly have family help. actually, my mother offered to move with me. she really wants grandbabies ASAP, lol. and his parents are in DC and also baby-hungry. unfortunately, he'll be summering in NYC, so it would take some maneuvering to get us both moved down to DC by the time i graduate (as in, 3L OCI/job applications, which is of course iffy, but his credentials should give him an okay shot).

to be honest, i don't want to go to a firm. i am dreaming of federal gov't. there are no guarantees, but my background is in gov't contracts and i have some hope that i will be able to find a fed job, if not right away then after a couple years of dues-paying. dues-paying with a baby would be... less fun, but again, it's never a good time, and i don't have a great family history of fertility over 30.

and lest i get appointed the new mayor of crazytown, while we aren't married yet, we've talked about how to fit babies into both of our careers, and he is also thinking about the pluses and minuses of 3L baby.

 

[lucyandroger]

L&R - hi!!

if i were a K-J.D. I wouldn't even consider it, but as has been mentioned, it's never a good time! now, my BF would not be able to do the daycare pick-up/drop-off thing. we might possibly have family help. actually, my mother offered to move with me. she really wants grandbabies ASAP, lol. and his parents are in DC and also baby-hungry. unfortunately, he'll be summering in NYC, so it would take some maneuvering to get us both moved down to DC by the time i graduate (as in, 3L OCI/job applications, which is of course iffy, but his credentials should give him an okay shot).

to be honest, i don't want to go to a firm. i am dreaming of federal gov't. there are no guarantees, but my background is in gov't contracts and i have some hope that i will be able to find a fed job, if not right away then after a couple years of dues-paying. dues-paying with a baby would be... less fun, but again, it's never a good time, and i don't have a great family history of fertility over 30.

and lest i get appointed the new mayor of crazytown, while we aren't married yet, we've talked about how to fit babies into both of our careers, and he is also thinking about the pluses and minuses of 3L baby.

If you're going to have family help then that will make things a lot easier. I say definitely consider a 3L baby! I really do think it's a great time to do it. And if you can manage to skip the firm route all together, then you're golden!

Oh, and I wouldn't worry about the bar exam. Barbri has an ipod program now so you can listen to the classes from anywhere on your own time. That would give you a ton of flexibility and while people make a big deal about the bar, it's not really that bad once you've made it through law school.

 

[suchende]

Haha I don't worry about the bar at all. I think people psych themselves out because it would be so embarrassing to fail, but the pass rate in NY is really high. I would be scared of the CA bar I guess, but most states? No big. (Don't quote me in a couple years when I am back here freaking out).

 

[bobbin]

Oooh me! me! I want to join!

DH and I have been married for exactly 41 days. Before the wedding we both knew we really wanted kids but were happy to leave it for a few years - I think this was because I was super stressed about the wedding I couldn't even think beyond it. Post wedding we are happy and relaxed and... super clucky. We have been together for 5 years and since six months into our relationship we have both desperately wanted kids. We are both in permanent jobs in our chosen careers. I have only been in my job for three months but my boss LOVES me and I know that the job is secure.

My problem is that we wanted to do one (long) overseas trip and were also thinking about buying another house as we moved interstate so are currently renting in one state and have a mortgage on a house in another.

But these goals would take us between 3-10 years to actually do. The overseas trip is something I want intellectually, but when I compare having a baby now to going on the trip, having a baby wins emotionally every time. And buying another house could seriously take ten years to become viable given the higher prices in our current city (we don't want to owe a bank $600,000!). I am also not sure if it would ever happen (the trip). in 2008 we planned to go on a trip this year, but then we had car accidents, redundancies, interstate move, a wedding and although the wedding would never happen again, any of those other things could, or something we haven't even thought of, which would postpone our baby plans yet again. When would we draw the line? My DH is turning 31 soon, and he has always wanted to have had kids by the time he was 30, so he is definitely desperate for children NOW.

So, we have been naughty and I am currently not on the pill and we have been "not trying to not get pregnant!" In reality we are both very much hoping that I will fall pregnant, but I guess because intellectually this would interfere with our goals we are not comfortable in saying we are TTC!

 

[MuffDog]

So another good friend of mine just told me that his wife is pregnant, and for the first time, I felt a tinge of jealous or envy or something. Definitely a "I wish it was me" feeling.

Which is so weird because I kind of thought that maybe hubs and I wouldn't have kids.

Weird eh?

So in talking with my husband about it, we kind of tiptoed into the 'what if/should we' talk. It is so funny how the things that he worries about are things like our furniture not being child-friendly, or that we've worked so hard to get here, why would we want to give it all away.

I said to him that furniture can NOT be the reason we decide not to have kids. We either want them or we don't. Right?

Gah - I wish this were easier. I actually feel like it is harder the longer we wait. Now at 31/32, we have a nice life, double income, no kids, the ability to do whatever we want whenever, and I'm 2 months away from paying off my school debt (sweet!). The longer we have to get used to this life, the harder it will be to give it up/change it.

But when I read stories like Bliss's birth story (go to the Preggo thread if you haven't read it yet!), I just melt and want.

YKWIM?

 

[LtlFirecracker]

So another good friend of mine just told me that his wife is pregnant, and for the first time, I felt a tinge of jealous or envy or something. Definitely a "I wish it was me" feeling.

So in talking with my husband about it, we kind of tiptoed into the 'what if/should we' talk. It is so funny how the things that he worries about are things like our furniture not being child-friendly, or that we've worked so hard to get here, why would we want to give it all away.

I said to him that furniture can NOT be the reason we decide not to have kids. We either want them or we don't. Right?

Gah - I wish this were easier. I actually feel like it is harder the longer we wait. Now at 31/32, we have a nice life, double income, no kids, the ability to do whatever we want whenever, and I'm 2 months away from paying off my school debt (sweet!). The longer we have to get used to this life, the harder it will be to give it up/change it.

But when I read stories like Bliss's birth story (go to the Preggo thread if you haven't read it yet!), I just melt and want.

YKWIM?

I feel you. Our unprotected leather sofas are not child friendly, we really didn't think that one through. We are going to have to make them "formal living room" furniture and put nice slip covered sofas in the family area.

I am starting to want a baby a little more, but we are planning a trip to Europe and I want to wait until we go on that trip. However, I did just buy some pre-natals so that I can get those going. From what I understand, you are suppose to start those a few months before TTC.

 

[megumic]

Yes, ditto the prenatals and folic acid supplement (unless of course the prenatal comes with folic acid in it...)

Today I had an experience and thought my heart was in my throat for about an hour. DH and I went out for a walk and a block up we saw a lady with two dogs and started commenting. As she got closer to us we noticed she had a baby carrier on her front with a baby in it. We were oooh-ing and ahhhh-ing about how cute it was when all of a sudden she disappeared out of sight. She had slipped on some ice and fell flat on the baby. We ran over quickly to make sure they were okay. The baby must have only been two weeks old. We helped her up and into her house, no blood, the baby calmed. Thank God they both seemed okay, but I was so shaken by the whole thing. Hearing the baby cry, the mom in shock, the whole thing, was so so so scary I was physically shaken for about an hour.

Makes me realize how scary it is to have a little one, and how in a flash things can go so so wrong.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

LIW(for little ones) story:

Over dinner last night DH and I were talking about house guests, specifically a grad student who will be living with us for all of May '12. While discussing logistics he said, "Wait...That's the month we're supposed to start TTC!" Then after a short pause he mused, "I can't wait for that. It's going to be a verrrry fun time."

I promptly reminded him that if we get lucky on the first try it won't be any more exciting than our current sex life.

So I've realized that at this point DH is more excited about the prospect of TTC marathon-sex than actual conception, pregnancy and parenting, but it's cute that it's on his brain/radar at all!

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Oooh me! me! I want to join!

DH and I have been married for exactly 41 days. Before the wedding we both knew we really wanted kids but were happy to leave it for a few years - I think this was because I was super stressed about the wedding I couldn't even think beyond it. Post wedding we are happy and relaxed and... super clucky. We have been together for 5 years and since six months into our relationship we have both desperately wanted kids. We are both in permanent jobs in our chosen careers. I have only been in my job for three months but my boss LOVES me and I know that the job is secure.

My problem is that we wanted to do one (long) overseas trip and were also thinking about buying another house as we moved interstate so are currently renting in one state and have a mortgage on a house in another.

But these goals would take us between 3-10 years to actually do. The overseas trip is something I want intellectually, but when I compare having a baby now to going on the trip, having a baby wins emotionally every time. And buying another house could seriously take ten years to become viable given the higher prices in our current city (we don't want to owe a bank $600,000!). I am also not sure if it would ever happen (the trip). in 2008 we planned to go on a trip this year, but then we had car accidents, redundancies, interstate move, a wedding and although the wedding would never happen again, any of those other things could, or something we haven't even thought of, which would postpone our baby plans yet again. When would we draw the line? My DH is turning 31 soon, and he has always wanted to have had kids by the time he was 30, so he is definitely desperate for children NOW.

So, we have been naughty and I am currently not on the pill and we have been "not trying to not get pregnant!" In reality we are both very much hoping that I will fall pregnant, but I guess because intellectually this would interfere with our goals we are not comfortable in saying we are TTC!

Welcome, Bobbin! Sounds like you two are well on your way to TTC! Not trying/not preventing is pretty much the same thing as trying I hope you enjoy this time with your DH. You should just start to plan a short-to-moderate length international trip with a little one! I believe there are lots of PS mommas who have traveled internationally with young ones, and my SIL has traveled to-and-from Finland with my 9 month old niece nearly four times. It's not as easy as solo travel, but it's certainly doable... and what a great experience for your future-child!

 

[megumic]

I concur! Bobbin, sounds to me like you're *technically* TTC, but perhaps just not giving it a title. Hope it works out exactly as it's meant to!

Any other updates with others and their TTC plan or lack-thereof??

 

[megumic]

Ooooops. Moment of weakness. I joined fertility friend to start charting and find out what my cycles are like.

I can't help myself. Don't tell DH.

 

[stephbolt]

Any other updates with others and their TTC plan or lack-thereof??

I was offered a new job last week so the insurance issues have thankfully worked themselves out. DH and I decided that we will give it a go starting in October - that way I'll have been at the new job more than a year when I give birth and be FMLA eligible, and should be able to get through my annual review a year from now without my boss knowing I'm preggo (even if we are successful right away). So excited to actually have a start time planned out!

Of course, none of this explains why I ordered a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" a month ago. I'm a planner!

 

[blondebunny]

Hello ladies! First off Happy Valentines Day. My hubby and I have officially been married a year and a day. Our "plan" is always changing since he is in medical school. Back in October when I went to visit him we had a mishap and my nuva ring came out. We diddnt notice till a week later though. I turned out not to be pregnant and when i had bloodwork done it showed that some of my levels were off indicating that I had PCOS along with other symptoms I have always had but BC had helped with. I have more bloodwork tomorrow to see where I am at 3 months later. When we found this out our whole plan kind of went out the window because our chances of when we could get pregnant got smaller so now we currently kind of have a plan but dont have a plan. We have a nice savings accounts so that helps, but we having timing issues. We both really want to be parents. We want to have 2 kids. So I am off BC now and we arent trying not to get pregnant but we arent trying. But we also dont see each other lol. I wont get to see him again till May. So We are going to have another "talk" after we have all the info in our hands about our options. But I think we have decided we will probably actually start trying in August. Its so hard though seeing all of my friends pregnant or just had a baby or having their 2nd baby. Sometimes I feel like Im so behind, but yet Im okay not having a baby right now. We are still working on all of my health issues. The only thing left we have to deal with is my back issues which I am going to see a neurosurgeon now. Apparently I have a lot of scar tissue around my disc and its easy to be cleaned up (so im told) But I am going to talk to the neurosurgeon soon to see what my options are. I am actually get Botox in my butt lol to help my butt and leg pain. Anyways I feel like i used to be baby crazy but something in my calmed down and now I am okay with where I am, but i am still a planner so I like to think things out. Okay enough rambling! Its just nice to know I am not the only one out there in this stage

 

[megumic]

Any other updates with others and their TTC plan or lack-thereof??

I was offered a new job last week so the insurance issues have thankfully worked themselves out. DH and I decided that we will give it a go starting in October - that way I'll have been at the new job more than a year when I give birth and be FMLA eligible, and should be able to get through my annual review a year from now without my boss knowing I'm preggo (even if we are successful right away). So excited to actually have a start time planned out!

Of course, none of this explains why I ordered a copy of "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" a month ago. I'm a planner!

That's great about the insurance issue! Congrats on the new job! Sounds like a great plan. We are also thinking of starting to TTC in October as well, does that make us TTC twins???

At least I'm not the only one thinking about fertility...reassuring to know I'm not the only one who has baby on the brain 24/7.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Any other updates with others and their TTC plan or lack-thereof??

Well, last night my husband suggested that we should get a small dog instead of having a baby...

Its ok because I know exactly where he is coming from and have been sitting on that side of the fence myself lately. In 10 years time we could have a child free home and be free to travel and do what we want, or in 10 years time we could be in the exact same position we are in now.

Hmm decisions decisions....

 

[monkeyprincess]

I have an update. We have officially decided to start trying next month. We had been going back on forth on whether we should wait to start trying until I was more established in my job. My job has been super stressful and I've been working crazy hours. More and more, I've decided that it just won't work once we have kids. Anyway, when my husband came home to find me crying on Friday after a bad week at work, he said he didn't care about the job and asked if I wanted to start trying now. So, it's official, I take my last birth control pill next week. Good luck to all of you with your decisions. It's definitely not easy to decide when the time is right.

 

[charbie]

I have an update. We have officially decided to start trying next month. We had been going back on forth on whether we should wait to start trying until I was more established in my job. My job has been super stressful and I've been working crazy hours. More and more, I've decided that it just won't work once we have kids. Anyway, when my husband came home to find me crying on Friday after a bad week at work, he said he didn't care about the job and asked if I wanted to start trying now. So, it's official, I take my last birth control pill next week. Good luck to all of you with your decisions. It's definitely not easy to decide when the time is right.

Yay (about ttc, not the stressful job, which I get since mine is uber stressful at times)! Just in case you weren't aware, since the hormones in the pill prevent ovulation, you very well can ovulate within your first week or so after stopping....not 2 weeks into your "cycle" since it doesn't reset until after you get your first real period following your first month off the pill. That's one way females get pregnant while on the pilll....just withdrawing from the pill a few days can cause ovulation and booooom....baby!

Good luck lady!

 

[Pandora II]

Yes ladies, I can confirm elderly primigravida is for over 35, and not 30. They like to use that term in the UK, synonymous with advanced maternal age.

Phew. We've got a few more years left yet girls!

Though I think they should revise it to over 40.

Don't worry they don't call you it to your face! I had Daisy when I was 3 months shy of my 37th birthday. Took me 6 weeks to get KU (and I was PG for 4 of them if you count from LMP) at 36, my sister took 8 weeks with her 3rd at 36, my SIL got pregnant with no.1 first month trying at 35. One of my friends was 9 weeks pregnant at her wedding having thought they'd start trying 3 months in advance as it could take her ages to get pregnant at 34...

Yes, you can have lots of problems TTC, but you might well have the same issues when you are younger as well. I wasn't too worried about waiting for only 2 reasons: all my female blood-relations get pregnant just by thinking about it and hit the menopause in their late 50's so genetically I possibly had an advantage and secondly I have always had a clockwork 27 day cycle. Even when I was on BCP everytime I ever took a break I went straight back to 27 days automatically. If I hadn't had these - especially the latter I'd have been more anxious. If we ever have a second I'd be looking at getting pregnant when I'm 42...

I do think that pregnancy can take a toll on your body in a way that it doesn't when you're 22.