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Wanting but Waiting...

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
Any updates?

I'm doing a really bad job at being patient. DH and I would start trying now if we didn't have a big overseas trip booked for May/june to visit DHs parents ( and also a teeny bit because I don't think kids appreciate having birthdays close to Christmas).

Tbh if I knew that if we did get pregnant I could still travel safely we would go for it, however as it is such a long flight and it would be a drama to get travel insurance which covers pregnancy complications, it seems like it's probably a bit negligent to try now.

In the mean time I have gone full on baby crazy and also started taking folic acid. Must maintain sanity for a few more months!
 

bobbin

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
473
Hi ladies! This thread has been quiet for a few months!

I am feeling really impatient too 4ever. I have started looking in the baby sections of department stores wistfully, and checking due date calculators to see when we would be due if we started trying now, etc.

We have been further delayed in our building plans. We thought that we would be in by August this year, but we haven't even started yet and looks like we will be in around June next year now. We would be better off financially if we waited until we moved in before we started trying, but I have decided not to wait any longer than we planned as I want to have another baby before DD starts school - in 2017. I am also just SO READY now.

But December it is, to ensure we have finished building by the time the baby is due (would be September if we fall pregnant first try) and so I'm not pregnant when applying for a home loan.

I'm also very stressed in my job and am applying for a second less stressful job that I hope to make my only job after maternity leave, so we need to wait and see if I get that, and then make sure I have been there for at least 3 months before starting TTC.

Wow, long post.

When did everyone start taking prenatal vitamins?
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
Hi Bobbin, thanks for resurrecting this thread!

Life has a way of throwing in extra obstacles whenever it's least convenient. I think your right in not delaying past your original ttc date as there will always be something else that crops up and delays things further if you let it.

DH and I are on holiday and staying with his parents at the moment. The plan was to start trying when we get back from holiday in about two weeks as advised by my doctor who believes long haul flying could be harmful in early pregnancy, but... Once we got here I just gave in and we haven't been preventing pregnancy while we've been here. I feel like it's possible that we did miss my fertile window but my cycle has been unpredictable lately so it's hard to say. I have also had a couple of holiday drinks which I am now feeling quite guilty about should we find out that we are pregnant.

It also doesn't help that while we've been here my MIL's hints that we should crack on and start procreating have become decidedly less subtle :roll:
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
4,339
Hi ladies! Happy thoughts to you! FWIW regarding drinking before finding out you're pregnant, I knocked back a bottle of white the night before my positive test. You do not share a blood supply with baby until about 6 weeks, long after most will know they're pregnant. Don't worry and enjoy the drinks!
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
Thanks Asscher, that's reassuring. From what I have read I also don't agree that long haul flying in early pregnancy may be harmful. In any case, in the unlikely even that I am pregnant, I do have to go home so it's a moot point really anyway.
I think I should probably go and join the TTC thread...
 

bobbin

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
473
4ever.. Are you going to move over to the TTC thread now?

So.. I got that 2nd job that I mentioned before! But it's a contracting position, which obviously means that if I go on mat leave, they don't need to keep my job open for me. So bearing that in mind, I would like to maintain both jobs until we have our next baby. But I don't think I could make it a whole year of working two jobs! So we have decided to bring up the timeline by a few months to start trying in August-September. Hopefully I would be able to keep this new job, as it is work from home, no ongoing case work, so little stress! I have been battling debilitating stress and anxiety all year.
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
Bobbin- sounds like good news if you can move up your timeline and minimise stress at the same time!

I'm hovering between threads at the moment. I hadn't posted in TTC because I was hoping we'd be lucky and get KU first cycle but no such luck! :lol: it also still seems a bit surreal as I feel like we have been waiting for ages and trying always seemed so far away.
 

gem_anemone

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 21, 2011
Messages
682
Hello everyone! I am wanting, but waiting. I have a 15 month old child and I'm waiting for my husband to be ready for baby #2!

:lol:
 

blingbunny10

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
848
We are finally "settling down" in a new area in about a month (fingers crossed!) so I've been rereading and getting my ducks in a row in preparation. :bigsmile: I've read Taking Charge of Your Fertility as well as a preconception book by Dr. Michael Lu. Wow, it is a ton of info.... I signed up for FF months ago but am just now ordering a thermometer to start charting.

Do most people jump all in with temping, opk tests, tracking CM, etc.? It's a bit overwhelming and I'm not sure how much I need to do from the start. Still in my early 30s, so maybe I don't have to worry too much, but I know things happen. Are you ladies all full-on charting, or did you build up to it gradually?

I admit I've also been reading up on how to increase my chances of a baby girl. Of course, the important thing is a healthy baby, but with a very male husband and a very male dog, it would be kinda nice to get the household back into balance!
 

blingbunny10

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
848
bobbin|1433728925|3886405 said:
Hi ladies! This thread has been quiet for a few months!

When did everyone start taking prenatal vitamins?
Bobbin, when I went in to see my GP, she told me to start on prenatals right away regardless of whether I was TTC. According to one of the preconception books I read, you should aim to begin at least 2-3 months before TTC. This will help your body build up a proper store in prep for the baby. I admit I've been slacking on the vitamins because life has been hectic. My husband and I plan to get back on the strict daily multis regimen once we move.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
blingbunny10 said:
We are finally "settling down" in a new area in about a month (fingers crossed!) so I've been rereading and getting my ducks in a row in preparation. :bigsmile: I've read Taking Charge of Your Fertility as well as a preconception book by Dr. Michael Lu. Wow, it is a ton of info.... I signed up for FF months ago but am just now ordering a thermometer to start charting. Do most people jump all in with temping, opk tests, tracking CM, etc.? It's a bit overwhelming and I'm not sure how much I need to do from the start. Still in my early 30s, so maybe I don't have to worry too much, but I know things happen. Are you ladies all full-on charting, or did you build up to it gradually? I admit I've also been reading up on how to increase my chances of a baby girl. Of course, the important thing is a healthy baby, but with a very male husband and a very male dog, it would be kinda nice to get the household back into balance!
I did all three at the same time (bbt, cm, and opks). I think opks are fun. CM is pretty obvious- I only chart the EWCM though since that's what matters. I have charted for long enough to know that once my EWCM starts, I'm pretty close to a positive OPK, and my temp spike comes 12-48 hours after that. You will start to learn your cycles and it becomes second nature. I don't even temp anymore- just use cm. No OPKs either. If we have a third, I'm not sure I need either of those things anymore to determine timing.
 

blingbunny10

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
848
amc80|1437791158|3907171 said:
blingbunny10 said:
We are finally "settling down" in a new area in about a month (fingers crossed!) so I've been rereading and getting my ducks in a row in preparation. :bigsmile: I've read Taking Charge of Your Fertility as well as a preconception book by Dr. Michael Lu. Wow, it is a ton of info.... I signed up for FF months ago but am just now ordering a thermometer to start charting. Do most people jump all in with temping, opk tests, tracking CM, etc.? It's a bit overwhelming and I'm not sure how much I need to do from the start. Still in my early 30s, so maybe I don't have to worry too much, but I know things happen. Are you ladies all full-on charting, or did you build up to it gradually? I admit I've also been reading up on how to increase my chances of a baby girl. Of course, the important thing is a healthy baby, but with a very male husband and a very male dog, it would be kinda nice to get the household back into balance!
I did all three at the same time (bbt, cm, and opks). I think opks are fun. CM is pretty obvious- I only chart the EWCM though since that's what matters. I have charted for long enough to know that once my EWCM starts, I'm pretty close to a positive OPK, and my temp spike comes 12-48 hours after that. You will start to learn your cycles and it becomes second nature. I don't even temp anymore- just use cm. No OPKs either. If we have a third, I'm not sure I need either of those things anymore to determine timing.

Thanks, amc80! Good to know it becomes second nature, as it all seems really complicated now. It's a bit daunting to think about going from waiting for years to officially TTC soon.... Guess I'm just trying to get as much info as possible from people who've been through it all before I jump in.

It's weird to think that our parents' generation just worked hard, got married, and had kids without too much fuss.... None of this anxiously reading piles of books, researching different parenting methods, poring over product reviews for various pregnancy/newborn products, etc. I feel like we know so much more now with technology and medicine having come as far as it has, and we're certainly spoilt for choice when it comes to mom/baby gear, but somehow I feel more anxious and insecure in my potential choices!
 

bobbin

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
473
As of next month, there is no 'real' impediment to us starting to TTC :dance:

But we are trying to work out when we should start.

We are building a house. They haven't started on site yet, but at this stage I am expecting completion in around June 2016. It would be better if we are already in the house before the baby comes as a) we don't really want to move with a newborn and b) we have to pay rent + mortgage until we move in and my income is handy for that! Starting to TTC in September would mean a June baby so quite close!

Work is full on and stressful at the moment. I am working 2 jobs, 6 days a week around 45 hours a week. I suspect that job 1 is trying to force me out by making it hard for me there and hoping I quit. Job 2 is a contracting position and I am not guaranteed maternity leave. I am not sure whether it is better to try and go on maternity leave earlier or to wait a bit so I will have been at job 2 longer and have more goodwill. On the other hand, too long of working 2 jobs and I will have a break down out of exhaustion!

Our school cut off is 30 April. So all babies born after 30 April have to wait for the year following their 5th birthday to start school. Even if we started TTC today we have missed that cutoff. This means the later in the year the baby is due, the less time they will be in childcare and the less money we will have to pay for childcare!

TTC in September, October or November will mean a winter baby. This is just me being silly, but I hate winter, I would much prefer to have a spring baby and spring birthday parties!

My head tells me to start TTC in December, as that will be a spring baby, the house will definitely be finished and it is closer to the end of the year for childcare. My heart tells me that I have been wanting but waiting for almost 2 years and I am sick of it. I want to start TTC NOW!!

Just rambling I guess. WWYD in my situation?

I should say that DD was a semi-surprise. We were not trying at the time, so I do not think I have any fertility issues.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
bobbin|1440048612|3916647 said:
As of next month, there is no 'real' impediment to us starting to TTC :dance:

But we are trying to work out when we should start.

We are building a house. They haven't started on site yet, but at this stage I am expecting completion in around June 2016. It would be better if we are already in the house before the baby comes as a) we don't really want to move with a newborn and b) we have to pay rent + mortgage until we move in and my income is handy for that! Starting to TTC in September would mean a June baby so quite close!

Work is full on and stressful at the moment. I am working 2 jobs, 6 days a week around 45 hours a week. I suspect that job 1 is trying to force me out by making it hard for me there and hoping I quit. Job 2 is a contracting position and I am not guaranteed maternity leave. I am not sure whether it is better to try and go on maternity leave earlier or to wait a bit so I will have been at job 2 longer and have more goodwill. On the other hand, too long of working 2 jobs and I will have a break down out of exhaustion!

Our school cut off is 30 April. So all babies born after 30 April have to wait for the year following their 5th birthday to start school. Even if we started TTC today we have missed that cutoff. This means the later in the year the baby is due, the less time they will be in childcare and the less money we will have to pay for childcare!

TTC in September, October or November will mean a winter baby. This is just me being silly, but I hate winter, I would much prefer to have a spring baby and spring birthday parties!

My head tells me to start TTC in December, as that will be a spring baby, the house will definitely be finished and it is closer to the end of the year for childcare. My heart tells me that I have been wanting but waiting for almost 2 years and I am sick of it. I want to start TTC NOW!!

Just rambling I guess. WWYD in my situation?

I should say that DD was a semi-surprise. We were not trying at the time, so I do not think I have any fertility issues.
I've had a summer baby and a winter baby. I'd take a winter baby any day. It's much better in terms of being heavily pregnant. And I'd rather worry about a baby being cold than overheating.

I will say that with B, I got pregnant immediately. We timed baby 2 ASSuming it would happen again (we wanted them 2 years apart). But it took a good 7 months for me to get pregnant the second time (well, I got pregnant after 4 months, had 2 CPs in a row, then took a month off to do some testing, then got pregnant for good the next time). Anyway, that's a long way of saying that you never know how long it may take.

Maybe compromise and start in October? That way you're not waiting quite so long, but at least the house situation will be dealt with?

Are you in Aus?
 

April20

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 1, 2008
Messages
3,312
bobbin|1440048612|3916647 said:
As of next month, there is no 'real' impediment to us starting to TTC :dance:

But we are trying to work out when we should start.

We are building a house. They haven't started on site yet, but at this stage I am expecting completion in around June 2016. It would be better if we are already in the house before the baby comes as a) we don't really want to move with a newborn and b) we have to pay rent + mortgage until we move in and my income is handy for that! Starting to TTC in September would mean a June baby so quite close!

Work is full on and stressful at the moment. I am working 2 jobs, 6 days a week around 45 hours a week. I suspect that job 1 is trying to force me out by making it hard for me there and hoping I quit. Job 2 is a contracting position and I am not guaranteed maternity leave. I am not sure whether it is better to try and go on maternity leave earlier or to wait a bit so I will have been at job 2 longer and have more goodwill. On the other hand, too long of working 2 jobs and I will have a break down out of exhaustion!

Our school cut off is 30 April. So all babies born after 30 April have to wait for the year following their 5th birthday to start school. Even if we started TTC today we have missed that cutoff. This means the later in the year the baby is due, the less time they will be in childcare and the less money we will have to pay for childcare!

TTC in September, October or November will mean a winter baby. This is just me being silly, but I hate winter, I would much prefer to have a spring baby and spring birthday parties!

My head tells me to start TTC in December, as that will be a spring baby, the house will definitely be finished and it is closer to the end of the year for childcare. My heart tells me that I have been wanting but waiting for almost 2 years and I am sick of it. I want to start TTC NOW!!

Just rambling I guess. WWYD in my situation?

I should say that DD was a semi-surprise. We were not trying at the time, so I do not think I have any fertility issues.
Having just given birth to a summer baby, never again if I can avoid it! I was miserable the last few weeks and was incredibly swollen. Granted, with the amount of water I retained, it may be that it would have happened any time of year. I would totally take a winter baby. Or a spring baby. I would avoid summer if I could!
 

aviastar

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 5, 2010
Messages
1,190
Two things that never ever go according to plan: building a house and TTC! The best laid plans...

Are you emotionally ready? Then I would just start!
 

bobbin

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 28, 2008
Messages
473
amc80|1440090563|3916808 said:
I've had a summer baby and a winter baby. I'd take a winter baby any day. It's much better in terms of being heavily pregnant. And I'd rather worry about a baby being cold than overheating.

I will say that with B, I got pregnant immediately. We timed baby 2 ASSuming it would happen again (we wanted them 2 years apart). But it took a good 7 months for me to get pregnant the second time (well, I got pregnant after 4 months, had 2 CPs in a row, then took a month off to do some testing, then got pregnant for good the next time). Anyway, that's a long way of saying that you never know how long it may take.

Maybe compromise and start in October? That way you're not waiting quite so long, but at least the house situation will be dealt with?

Are you in Aus?
You're right of course, you can never know how long it will take to fall pregnant. I'm still quite young - I'm 28 and have nothing to indicate that we would have any trouble, but you never know.

And yep, I'm in Aus, so that's why the seasons and months sound all back to front!

DD is an April baby and that seemed perfect weather wise - not too hot or cold when she was a newborn. I was between 20-32 weeks pregnant during summer though, and I hated that!

April20 said:
Having just given birth to a summer baby, never again if I can avoid it! I was miserable the last few weeks and was incredibly swollen. Granted, with the amount of water I retained, it may be that it would have happened any time of year. I would totally take a winter baby. Or a spring baby. I would avoid summer if I could!
Yep, I don't really want a Summer baby. That would only happen if it took a while for us to fall pregnant. At this stage we would be looking at due dates between June and September for starting, which are Winter and Spring for us. Breastfeeding in the early weeks in the middle of winter sounds awful to me though. Brrrr.

aviastar said:
Two things that never ever go according to plan: building a house and TTC! The best laid plans...

Are you emotionally ready? Then I would just start!
Ha, yes, definitely emotionally ready. I have been emotionally ready since early 2014! But financially we have needed to wait. Now, after our home loan application next month we will be fine financially, provided the house isn't delayed too long.


I think we are going to go with me going off the pill either next month or early October. I think I want to see work start on site before we start TTC, but I have been having more and more thoughts of not wanting to put it off any longer. I think we are now looking for the timing to be perfect, but who knows what life will throw at us if we wait? There can never be a perfect time.
 
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