Unusual e-ring - Need advice, please!

[mrssalvo]

Date: 2/9/2006 12:04:31 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006

There''s no way Pearlman''s would be able to sell that ring for anything near what it cost. How much would any of you pay for it?

I agree that anytime you sell something on consignment you take a hit, normally about 1/2 of what you pay. However, to assume what Pearlman''s would or would not be able to do is jumping out ahead a bit. It looks like there is quite a bit a plat. which is very expensive right now at $1069 per oz. If anything she could probably get back the actual material costs and the diamond cost if she choses to sell it. She may not be that bad off. There have also been several people who have said that they actually really like the ring and therefore i believe someone out there may be interested in buying it. I think the best thing to do is explore several options and see which works best. I have consigned with Bill and he is very honest. If he believes there is no resale market he will say so and not waste anyones time.

 

[valeria101]

Speaking of consignment...

A couple of random notes...

#1. Not quite so long ago, one seller of 8* diamonds posted a ring quite like that, made with an 8* as a men's pinkie ring. Can't remember his avatar name 'GoldenOak' ? something like that. Maybe outside the 'micropave bubble' around here your ring would stand a better chance to find the right following

#2. That is not a cheap setting despite being (deceptively) simple (case in point: 2k for an 18k one, and I don't think it the mass of material that makes the difference).

 

[allycat0303]

Selma,

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

First off I think that you have to resign yourself to losing some money in this whole business. I think it's inevitable, but it's not your fault (or even the designer for that matter), the ring just didn't happen to be your style (HUGS! by the way, because I think this is a terrible situation).

So that being said, what amount would you be happy to recoup from this ring? Is it $2000? Is that a reasonable amount to expect for this e-ring? I would jump on all avenues available (consignment, ebay) whatever, and get all info possible on how much you can get for the ring. Weigh the price you can get compared to how much you would be winning if you took options 1, or 2, or 3. (I know you don't want to work with this designer, but if it's monetary beneficial, I would do it. If you get within the price that your conscience can accept, then sell it.

It's a bad sitaution, becauseI doubt very much that you are going to get near the $6200 your fiance paid for it. And I think even the 1/2 price, at $3100 is still A LOT for that ring. I think people may like the ring, but still, the price of $3100 is probably more then most are willing to pay for it (unless it was some big brand name or something). So do the best you can to get as much money back, and walk away from this problem.

 

[rainbowtrout]

Hey--

I''ve been following this thread waiting for some of the experts to chime in, and since they haven''t yet...Selma, they got rid of PM-ing, but could you email them and ask for advice? a plat designers perspective might be useful!

 

[gailrmv]

Did they really get rid of PMing? I used it yesterday! Why??

Selma, is there any chance the designer would let you trade in the setting for the 2 plat bands BUT LET YOU KEEP THE DIAMOND? THat sounds reasonable to me.

A few people have said that her fiance made a mistake and that the designer is at fault. I think it was a misunderstanding. I think the designer''s taste is different from most peoples, his work is pricey, and he could have been more accomodating. However, I don''t think he''s done anything *wrong*. And neither did her fiance in trying to have a one of a kind ring made custom. If the ring had turned out to be her taste, the transaction wouldn''t have been a big deal. The problem was that her fiance nor the designer knew what she would like.

And Selma, while the ring is not my taste either, I don''t think it is hideous or anything!

 

[Caribou]

Date: 2/9/2006 4:00:18 PM
Author: gailrmv
Did they really get rid of PMing? I used it yesterday! Why??

Selma, is there any chance the designer would let you trade in the setting for the 2 plat bands BUT LET YOU KEEP THE DIAMOND? THat sounds reasonable to me.

A few people have said that her fiance made a mistake and that the designer is at fault. I think it was a misunderstanding. I think the designer''s taste is different from most peoples, his work is pricey, and he could have been more accomodating. However, I don''t think he''s done anything *wrong*. And neither did her fiance in trying to have a one of a kind ring made custom. If the ring had turned out to be her taste, the transaction wouldn''t have been a big deal. The problem was that her fiance nor the designer knew what she would like.

And Selma, while the ring is not my taste either, I don''t think it is hideous or anything!

Very well said.

I also think the ring, albeit different, would make a lovely RHR with a colored stone in it. I can''t imagine why they couldn''t chang out the diamond and set that in a simple solitare setting. It may not be what you want but you can always upgrade the setting down the road. Then replace the diamond with your favorite color stone. Another poster mentioned a black pearl...I think that would look beautiful in that setting.

 

[mepearl53]

This is really nobody''s fault. Her BF asked for a job to be done and they preformed the job as he asked. You can''t expect a custom made piece to order to be refunded. The amount they wish to trade for is a bit silly. What does your boyfriend have to say about it? A VS2 E color is a very saleable diamond and there is value to the platinum but the people here are correct that if you wish to sell it you''ll get about 1/2 of what you paid which is "fair market value" What do you want to do Selma? There is no reason to tear yourself up it''s over it and how can this move on and you get the ring you really want. Do you have choices?

 

[movie zombie]

i agree with bill.
the diamond is perfectly useable: put it into the setting you want.
keep the other mounting and put a color stone into it: spessartite garnet would be lovely but i''m prejudiced.



movie zombie

 

[Garysax]

Date: 2/9/2006 6:04:19 PM
Author: mepearl53
This is really nobody''s fault. Her BF asked for a job to be done and they preformed the job as he asked. You can''t expect a custom made piece to order to be refunded. The amount they wish to trade for is a bit silly. What does your boyfriend have to say about it? A VS2 E color is a very saleable diamond and there is value to the platinum but the people here are correct that if you wish to sell it you''ll get about 1/2 of what you paid which is ''fair market value'' What do you want to do Selma? There is no reason to tear yourself up it''s over it and how can this move on and you get the ring you really want. Do you have choices?

Well said.

 

[Jelly]

May we get some handshots of this ring?

 

[BrownEyes]

IMHO, Selma''s custom ring is much more sale-able - via consignment or otherwise - with the original diamond in it, rather than without it.

ALSO, I think the ring has resulted in so much stress and turmoil that Selma should consider starting fresh, which means an entirely different ring with an entirely different diamond, even if it means taking a loss or getting a simple, inexpensive but feminine setting (with a well-cut stone, of course!) ...

Just my $.02.

 

[FireGoddess]

Looking at that setting - can the stone be removed easily by someone else w/o damaging the setting? I always wonder how you get the stones out of burnished settings like that w/o significant damage. If not, that would answer whether you should just sell the ring as is or put a diff stone in it.

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 2/9/2006 8:50:18 PM
Author: BrownEyes
IMHO, Selma''s custom ring is much more sale-able - via consignment or otherwise - with the original diamond in it, rather than without it.

ALSO, I think the ring has resulted in so much stress and turmoil that Selma should consider starting fresh, which means an entirely different ring with an entirely different diamond, even if it means taking a loss or getting a simple, inexpensive but feminine setting (with a well-cut stone, of course!) ...

Just my $.02.

also good points.

movie zombie

 

[princessv]

I''ve been following this thread for awhile and wanted to add my support to Selma. Selma, I''m so sorry you don''t love your e-ring.

Having had a setting that I didn''t love 100%, I do empathize with her plight. My fiance picked out the setting and I ended up not loving it and in the weeks that followed, I began to dislike it more and more especially when I found out I was allergic to white gold.

My situation though is different in that my fiance and I picked out the diamond together and it holds alot of sentimental value for me.

Anyway, when I first approached him about resetting the diamond into a different setting, he was pretty upset but quickly understood and I think a part of him knew I didn''t just love the setting and he just wanted me to be happy. It''s odd or maybe not, but one of the major things that kept bothering me about it was that it was a mass produced setting and the insides wasn''t polished like the Vatche settings were. In resetting my diamond, input from my fiance was really important to me in the design process. At first, he didn''t want to participate I think because he was afraid that I''d end up unhappy again but, he quickly realized that I really wanted him apart of it because it wasn''t going to be just all about me, if that makes sense.

Selma, I don''t know what I''d do in your situation about keeping the diamond or not..I can definitely see how your feelings would attach to the whole ring after what the jeweler told you. I do agree with others that it is a very common policy for no refunds on custom work. I don''t like option #1 however.

What does your fiance think you should do about your ring? Is he open to consignment of the ring and getting you what you will love?

Another point, a ring on consignment may take awhile to sell...would he be able to get you a new ring right away? (If not, I was thinking that would be another reason to take the diamond out of that setting and reset it into something you love)

Best wishes to you...I hope everything works out!

 

[Anastasia]

Date: 2/2/2006 6:16:34 PM
Author:selma

Hi everyone,

It was custom designed - a friend of his recommended a local designer (I had never heard of them), and not knowing much about diamonds/ e-rings, he just went to see the designer and told them that he wanted something “timeless” – and they worked together and came up with this e-ring. Selma

Selma - I feel awful for your situation. The jeweler''s response is not making the situation any better.

I understand the jeweler not taking the ring back. It was custom, and I''m assuming that he made it clear that it was not returnable. When my husband purchased my engagement ring, he made sure it was returnable if I did not like it.

I can not understand why he would not be willing to sell it on consignment. Can any of the pros offer any reason for this? He would have nothing to lose, and would make some MORE money on this already overpriced ring. There is no risk involved for him.

The thing that keeps haunting me, however, is that your fiance told the jeweler that he wanted something timeless. I do not consider this design timeless. Maybe in his ultra modern world, this is a timeless design, but noone in their right mind would consider this a timeless design. I think he should have explained that he did very modern work, and that it may not be what your fiance was looking for. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done about this now, but I don''t like this jewelers way of doing business.

Selma, you sound like a sweetheart. Your fiance sounds sweet too, and well intentioned. Unfortunately he didn''t do enough research, and made an expensive, non-refundable mistake. I would probably have the diamond reset, and have the platinum melted and made into wedding bands for the two of you, by ANYONE other than the original jeweler. He does not have a clue about customer service. Or if you could get a reasonable amount for the ring on consignment, it would be nice to accept your financial losses and get something you really love.

Best of luck with everything, and congratulations on your engagement!

 

[selma]

Hi everyone. Thanks for your advice and encouragement. I wanted to give you an update on my engagement ring situation. It took me a few days to get into the right mid-set to start to deal with it, to start thinking positively and to try to put everything into perspective.
In terms of the practical aspects, I’m just starting to explore all the possible options that were suggested here including consigning with someone else, trying to re-sell the ring, either as a whole or just the diamond, or re-setting the diamond with someone else. I also like Ana’s suggestion about the possibility of asking the original designer to exchange it for an eternity band instead as that is more comparable in value and something I’d enjoy wearing, although I don’t know if the designer would be willing to do that. I’ve made an appointment to get an independent appraisal for the diamond, so I will let you know how that turns out. I’ve accepted that we won’t be able to re-coup the cost of the ring, but hopefully we will be able to get to a workable solution. As someone pointed out – all is not lost - and that’s what I need to remember as I was getting pretty upset and emotional about it all.
And I guess I do understand the designer’s point-of-view: it was a custom order and they executed it very well. But I do wish that they had made more effort to caution my boyfriend about the unusual design, the uncertified diamond, and the complete lack of return/ exchange possibilities - and I thought that their proposal to exchange it for two platinum bands was not appropriate/ reasonable AT ALL and it has affected my perception of them and trust in them.
So many of you have asked… what was he thinking - getting a such an unusual ring that was not returnable, without doing research into what I might like or learning the basics about price points? Excellent point – and I have to say that I’ve asked myself that too and have been mystified as to how it all came about. And I was getting angry about it too – I mean, really, what was he thinking??!- and also kind of resentful that I had to deal with trying to find a solution. So we talked about it and basically, he said that he had been worried about all that might be involved in buying a ring, so when his friend recommended someone, he was relieved and just put all trust into them. He didn’t do any research or go see any other jewelers or even go into any other stores at all!!! He does tend to be somewhat of an impulse buyer, while I tend to research and look around, so it’s hard for me to understand. He said he wanted something unique, so that’s why he had it custom made and he just really liked that sleek, modern style and thought that I’d like it too. I do feel in some way that he was thinking more about what he likes and less so about what I like. And I guess he didn’t realize how unusual it is as an engagement ring design (and still does not seem to realize this). It’s a tough situation because we both really do feel bad about it, but it definitely seems to have had the bigger impact on me because I have more of an emotional reaction.
Thanks again to everyone for their support!!

 

[mrssalvo]

Thanks for the update selma. I''m glad you BF is being supportive even if he doesn''t entirly understand why you don''t like it or are upset. guys can be clueless at time

. Good luck with the appraiser and if you need any more help or ideas please don''t hesitate to post here. The folks here are very eager to help and what you to be happy with your ring

 

[lumpkin]

Selma, my husband has said that DeBeers does quite a number on the male population with their advertising, making it seem that they have to pick just the right diamond, just the right ring, and make the perfect proposal. All without ruinning the surprise for their bride to be, because where''s the romance in that??? Maybe some women put that kind of pressure on their fiances, but I actually don''t know anyone who expects that. It''s too bad that some men feel that kind of pressure, and maybe that''s where your fiance was coming from even though from your posts it doesn''t sound like you would be that way at all.

This will eventually work out and will be an interesting story to tell your children, LOL!

I''ve looked at your picture of the ring again, and it is actually a very nice ring. Surely someone will find it suits their taste and you can recoup some money for it and apply that to your REAL engagement ring.

 

[BrownEyes]

Selma:

It''s easy to see that your posts come straight from the heart, and that you are an honest and sincere person. I think your FI is very lucky. It also sounds as though his heart was in the right place, so it seems that you are lucky too!

I know this will eventually all work-out and I hope you and your fiance will laugh about it someday - the great e-ring debacle!

As I said before and others have noted, in spite of its unusual design, your e-ring appears to have been custom-crafted with quality. If you do consign the ring, someone will hopefully buy it.

Otherwise, if the diamond appraisal checks-out and you don''t feel that your fiance was cheated by the original designer, a ''replacement'' eternity ring from the original designer sounds like a nice compromise - - if the designer will go for it, and if they will allow you to have some input, that is. Just make sure they get your ring size correct this time!

When will you start your search for your "dream e-ring"? And even more importantly: will you and your fiance will now consider some on-line vendors, like the ones that are consistently recommended on this forum????!!

Thanks for keeping us updated ... I''m really glad you found PriceScope - - it really is a wonderful resource for information and support.

BrownEyes

 

[MiniMouse]

Insure it and then hopefully lose it... problem solved!

 

[windowshopper]

whatever happened here?????????

 

[sydneycasandra]

Selma- I''ve been dying to know what happened... does anyone know what ever became of this?

 

[BrownEyes]

BUMP!

Selma ... are you still out there?

 

[Gonzodogg]

BUMP BUM BUMP

I want to know how this story turns out!

 

[BrownEyes]

OMG! I was browsing through the stuller.com website, and look what I found under "gent's rings":

http://www.stuller.com/public/product.aspx?prodGrpID=58de8ce9-a7cc-4583-a5b6-47e96a0048de&categoryID=9b855a9f-ac15-4c52-8d65-31428da0e8e3

Doesn't it look remarkably just like the e-ring that was custom-made for Selma?

Oh Selma, where are you?

 

[BrownEyes]

 

[familystone]

Anyone know what happened with Selma and her ring fiasco?

 

[mrssalvo]

no, she never came back with an update but I hope no news is good news and she is now wearing her dream ring..

 

[FireGoddess]

I too am hoping no news is good news...

 

[selma]

Hi everyone – I kept meaning to come back with an update. Sorry I’ve been gone so long - I haven’t forgotten all the support and advice you gave me – thank you!! Here’s the rest of my story. It’s not exactly a happy ending (yet) but hopefully it will be. And yes, I do think my ring looks somewhat like a man’s ring – looking around on the internet I’ve come across quite a few men’s pinkie rings that look very much like my ring!

Based on all your advice, I decided to get an independent appraisal of the diamond, and set up an appointment with a very reputable place. I had to wait about two weeks. They examined the diamond without removing it from the setting, so they noted that this should be taken into consideration. Their report indicated that the size and clarity were the same as told to me by the designer, but the color grading was a little bit lower (F-G; the designer had said E) and so was the cut (good-average while the designer had told me excellent-very good). So the grading was slightly off, but it could have been affected by the fact that they examined the diamond while it was in the setting. I was still pretty disappointed about the cut, especially after all I had learned on PS about the importance of cut. We also looked at the receipt to check the return policy, and there was no mention of a return policy. I feel badly writing this part, but just so that you have the full story: the receipt showed that he had actually paid about $1,000 less for the ring than he had told me previously. Part of me wishes that I never had to know such details, but you know, in a way, I was happy that he had spent less on the ring since I felt he had over-paid so much already for an e-ring design that I didn’t like. But the other part of me, the part that expected a much nicer ring to begin with, was a bit surprised.

At the same time all this was happening, I was looking around at all the beautiful diamonds and diamond rings that are out there. I had always loved diamonds and jewelry and the more pictures of beautiful diamonds and diamond settings I saw, the more upset I became with the situation and with the ring that ended up on my finger. It started to be not just about the ring, but also what I was reading into it. It was a bit of a dark time, and I guess those feelings combined with all the emotions that can come when you are first engaged, made me question my FI a lot about it and the way he had handled things. I kept feeling that I needed to understand what he had been thinking and how this all came about, so that I could resolve my feelings about it and move on. I thought about it all the time and I couldn’t seem to just let it go and concentrate fully on the solution – I know…not good.

All this drama over a ring – I know, I was going overboard! I honestly never would have thought that I’d react that way.

I really am ususally a very easy-going person.

I think it was the day after I got the appraisal back, we had both just finished a long day at work, and I started asking him about it again, before I really asked him about how his day had gone. He listened for a bit, but then he lost pateince completely and said that he was so surprised and disappointed that it was all I seemed to talk about and think about and he felt that I had lost sight to some degree of what was important and had forgotten to be grateful for all the good things. He was right - I was hurting both of us by blowing it up so much. And so at that instant, I decided to just stop thinking about the ring or any other ring, until I was ready to think about it in a less emotional, more positive way. And I told him that I was sorry. And I just made myself take a “diamond break” to regain my equilibrium, if that makes any sense. I tried to stop looking at diamond rings and I also stopped wearing my ring. I just felt so much better without it on my hand for the time being, and he was ok with that. Instead I threw myself into my work and into planning the wedding. And things got better all around.

So that’s where things are now - I feel silly about all my drama over the ring, but I just wanted to give you the rest of the story. And I feel that I''ve left all that behind me now. I feel ready to start looking for a solution in a positive way. I think I will just keep the ring. In the last few days I started wearing it again on my right hand middle finger (that’s the upside I guess of it being so big) and now that time has passed, and I see it as more of a right hand ring, I do like it much more. The amount we would likely get on consignment and the time we’d have to wait for a sale, are just not worth it - at least that’s how I feel right now. It is the ring that he chose, so it’s nice to keep it.
I’m not sure what I will do – if I will just choose to wear a wedding band after the wedding or if I should even consider getting a new e-ring and matching band which is what I’ve always wanted (although I think most people I know would think I was crazy for even considering getting a new ring). He is totally ok with either approach; in fact he encourages me to go for the second option. I would be willing to contribute to a new ring too if that’s what we decided on and I’d definitely look around at the vendors that are mentioned on this forum and I''d be grateful for your advice.

That’s all, I’m sorry I disappeared from PS for awhile, but I hope you understand! If anyone can understand all this drama over a ring and diamonds, you can, I hope!