Too big? Should I reset?

[Lynniiee]

My fiancé and I just got engaged about 2 weeks ago with a ring we custom designed together, and it’s absolutely gorgeous.

The only problem is... I think it may be too big for my comfort zone. The reception has been very nice, no negative comments, just a lot of “ITS HUGE”, but I’m just not sure if it sits right with me yet. If it were just me and this ring, I’d never take it off. I have no issues with it’s size, and I’ve been trying not to care about outside perception but it’s definitely been bugging me more than I expected.

It’s a 2.58 H VS2, and I also realized I might be a more color sensitive than I thought. I’m thinking of maybe going down to 2-2.25ct in a better color grade.

I have a great upgrade policy on the stone, the only issue is the stone was purchased separate and the setting was done by David Klass. I was wondering if anyone had any experience changing the stone in their setting? How long it might take, if it’ll absolutely need to be sent to DK again because of the size change, or if it can just be switched out.

Or, should I just wait it out and get over it? I live in a big city where big stones aren’t uncommon, but it definitely still stands out. I’m comfortable at work and home, but traveling to see our families is a bit of a different world.

 

[Lynniiee]

Oops, I also messed up the title. I don't intend to reset the same stone, I mean to switch to a different stone into the same setting. Not enough sleep...

 

[lambskin]

I think your ring is beautiful and not too big. The H color does not show up on pics and since it is a solitaire it is not competing with other stones colors. IMHO, it is stunning and I would keep it.

 

[bludiva]

I'd say give it a little time to see if the discomfort on the size is temporary or not. Other people pay attention to a ring and make comments when you first get engaged or married but after that not so much. I think the tolerances with that type of basket are pretty small so going down in size may require remaking the ring (which is very pretty, btw!)

 

[Austina]

I think it’s gorgeous and looks the perfect size for your hand. I second @bludiva, live with it for a while longer and see what you think. It’s surprisingly easy to used to the size, and you could regret going smaller in the future.

It looks perfect to me

 

[LLJsmom]

Do you feel it’s too big or is it that others’ Opinions bother you? If you are really uncomfortable regardless of other people then yeah. Make a change. But do give it time. It usually takes a little while before DSS sets in.

If I don’t want to hear it from other relatives I just don’t wear it if I know I will see them.

 

[missy]

IF you're asking if we think it is too big my answer is a resounding No. IMO it's perfect. Beautiful and big as in perfect size. But it's your decision only. A personal decision. You have to love and feel comfortable wearing your ring. Give it some time and see how you feel. DSS is real and it sinks in quicker than you can say upgrade please.

As for other people and what they think of your ring remember the wise saying...it's none of our business what other people think of us.

Do what you want to do, wear what you want to wear and enjoy life on your terms. You deserve that.

 

[tigertales]

Ugh, the subtle shaming of "it's HUGE!"

Your ring, and the size of your diamond are beyond gorgeous. I don't even think it's so outrageously big as to be showy or ostentatious. And the color is perfect in the gold. Please don't change it, unless of course, YOU want a different look or feel.

 

[Gussie]

It's glorious! Please let it settle in for a while before downsizing. I also had qualms about wearing my ring in front of my in-laws. At first. Now I don't even give it a thought. As @missy said, it's not your business what others think of you, even family. Enjoy that beautiful ring!

 

[Lynniiee]

Thank you guys so much, I really appreciate it! I really love the crap out of it as-is, so I'm going to stick with it a while longer. We are visiting his family next weekend and they're all sweethearts I truly love, I hope they'll be supportive.

 

[OoohShiny]

Thank you guys so much, I really appreciate it! I really love the crap out of it as-is, so I'm going to stick with it a while longer. We are visiting his family next weekend and they're all sweethearts I truly love, I hope they'll be supportive.

Anyone who is not totally supportive and pleased for you is likely to be jealous, secretly or overtly - and as @missy says, we can't control what other people think so let them get on with it and rock whatever you want to rock

As long as you are proud of it but not boastful, and I don't get any sense that you are a boastful, 'one-up' sort of person from your post, you should be fine!

Use common sense in new places or areas that are likely to be risky, of course, and turn it into your palm, but I am sure you won't have any issues!

 

[Luce]

@Lynniiee , Your Ering is drop dead gorgeous! It may take a little while to get used to the size but if I were you, I would not change a thing. Congratulations!!!

 

[Bonfire]

Gorgeous ring. It looks stunning on you! Congratulations!
I agree with those who advise to give it some time. If something about the stone bothers you that’s one thing. If it’s because of what others think of it then please pause and think carefully. This ring is not about them. It’s about you and your DF. Don’t let others judgement rain on your parade or cause you to conform to their standard. All the best to you!

 

[DAF]

The center diamond is a perfect size for your finger. Yes, it's bigger than most, but it looks great on you. Lovely diamond, too.

 

[Iwanttosparkle]

Some people are impossible to please, especially family (ask me how I know. ha!). These same people would likely be making similar comments had you showed up in a new car or even with a new handbag or shoes that is outside of their norms. Do and have and wear what *you* think is beautiful

 

[kmoro]

Haha ... my ex-fiance’s daughter once exclaimed/yelled “IT’S SO SMALL!” when she saw the ring I got from her dad (it was maybe a .3 ct) ... I think it’s better to have them say it’s huge! lol

I know we all say that we shouldn’t care what others’ think, but there are not too many of us that really don’t care what others’ think. To some extent, it does matter - to the extent that you are sensitive to it. However, you said large diamonds are not uncommon where you live, and you love your ring - and I agree with all the others - it looks wonderful on your hand, and omg, it is gorgeous! I think that once everyone has seen it, you’ll start to relax. Those initial reactions can have an impact, despite our steely determination, but then they will pass. After that, it will be strangers - and it’s much easier not to care what they think. I think sometimes that judgement comes from a misinterpretation of the motive behind having a larger diamond ring ... that someone is showing off or being frivolous, for example ... but if they know how much happy the diamond brings you, then it becomes something else (positive if they like you, lol)

I remember my boss ... because I am a diamond fan, the first time I caught her wearing a gorgeous diamond, I said (with a lot of joy, btw), wow, is that a two carat? And she immediately pulled her hand away and stuck it under the desk, turning a bright red. Then she said that her husband just bought a new vehicle, so ... Anyway, I’ve often thought about that ... in our workplace, no one wears larger diamonds, but she and her husband could well afford it and two carats is not the rock of gibraltar, you know? The thing is, it’s no fun to wear a diamond if you feel like hiding it under your desk. And I was giving her a positive reaction.

I guess I’m trying to say that people are going to judge, but it doesn’t matter what size your diamond is for them to do it ... you could be wearing a one carat and someone might call it huge and someone might call it small, for example. I think that the likely reactions in your circle and how you feel about those reactions is something to think about when purchasing a diamond.

Back to the point: I think that diamond looks perfect on your hand and it is a beauty! Since the setting can not be easily adjusted, I’m with those that suggest giving it some time. But if it continues to bother you, I hope you don’t end up beating yourself up for that, and it would be a good idea to make some changes. The goal is to find your long term happy diamond, right? That should mean happy in every way, imo. I am hoping that you learn to love the size ... that way, if the colour continues to bother you, it’s an easier fix ... and it’s perfect ... oh I said that already, haha.

I suggest just staying on the PS forums ... if DSS does not set in naturally, hanging on the forums can probably induce it
Congratulations on your engagement and your gorgeous ring!

 

[arkieb1]

I think only you can know which colour is right for you, both size and colour are completely subjective what is white for one person may not be for the next what is big for one person also might not be for someone else.

I'm a size whore all the way, I like big diamonds and coloured stones but, I think it depends on where you are and what you feel is appropriate for your lifestyle.

 

[LinSF]

I would give it some time, I bet you'll love it as is. I felt slightly uncomfortable when I started wearing my rings as well, but I quickly got over it. Like others have said, you love it and it fits your lifestyle. I can only imagine that both of your families will be thrilled for you and love the ring.

 

[diamondnewbieny]

It’s gorgeous!

 

[xxxxxx]

As you can't return the setting I would really just wear it around for some time and see if you get used to your diamond. And then you still can upgrade the diamond.

I'm also looking into lab grown diamonds and have heard several times that lab diamonds H and lower xan have a slight brownisch/ pinkish tint to them. Do you notice such a tint? Do you notice any tint in your diamond or does it look very white to you?

What finger size do you have? Trying to figure out my perfect diamond size at the moment

Thank you for your help!

 

[cmd2014]

Ugh, the subtle shaming of "it's HUGE!"

Your ring, and the size of your diamond are beyond gorgeous. I don't even think it's so outrageously big as to be showy or ostentatious. And the color is perfect in the gold. Please don't change it, unless of course, YOU want a different look or feel.

Oh no! I've totally made this remark, only I've meant it as a simple exclamation of excitement for friends of mine that got glorious honking rocks - I've never meant to shame anyone. Now I'm hoping that no-one felt shamed...

In any case, I would suggest sitting with it for a while. I think it's beautiful and you may quickly find that you get used to it and that it doesn't look that big to your eye anymore. I also think that it takes time to get used to wearing a ring in general. I find this with RHR's. I never notice my wedding set anymore, but it takes a few days before I stop noticing a RHR all the time. Once you get used to it, it will just feel like it's a part of you.

 

[GliderPoss]

Yeah I think it's stunning and give it a few months, you won't even notice the size!

 

[seaurchin]

I think it's great!

Also, going down in size the amount you've mentioned or up a bit in color, I don't think it will make much difference in its appearance, tbh. I don't think it's enough of a change to bother with, personally. Good luck with it.

 

[Lynniiee]

Thank you all so so much, I wish I could respond to everyone. All of your comments have been so helpful and kind. I just got back from visiting my fiance's family, and they were all wonderful. No negative comments whatsoever, they were all genuinely happy for us and fantastic. I'm sure they all had their initial impressions, but at the end of the day they know who I am as a person, regardless of my ring choice.

I mentioned to them that I thought about going smaller after being uncomfortable with it in the beginning, but I honestly love the ring so much as-is and couldn't bear to change it.

 

[Lynniiee]

And she immediately pulled her hand away and stuck it under the desk, turning a bright red. ...
The thing is, it’s no fun to wear a diamond if you feel like hiding it under your desk. And I was giving her a positive reaction.
...
Congratulations on your engagement and your gorgeous ring!

@kmoro I recently met a friend of a friend at a dinner party who had the most gorgeous ring with a big and beautiful stone. I snuck a glance at it, but the next time I looked over she had turned the stone into her palm. It made me so sad, I really wanted to admire it and I was worried that she feel ashamed of it. I kept waiting for her to turn it around so I could mention something supportive and excited, but I never got the chance.

Thank you so much for sharing and your advice and kind words. The positive reactions make me feel so much better knowing that there are people who are really happy for me. I definitely don't want to hide this beauty under my desk, I can hardly stop staring at it! I get so ecstatic when people show genuine interest in the ring itself, I just want to talk about it all day.

 

[Lynniiee]

As you can't return the setting I would really just wear it around for some time and see if you get used to your diamond. And then you still can upgrade the diamond.

I'm also looking into lab grown diamonds and have heard several times that lab diamonds H and lower xan have a slight brownisch/ pinkish tint to them. Do you notice such a tint? Do you notice any tint in your diamond or does it look very white to you?

What finger size do you have? Trying to figure out my perfect diamond size at the moment

Thank you for your help!

Ah, I'm glad you asked! This particular diamond doesn't appear to have a tint, I received it from D.NEA Diamonds. But the stone I purchased and returned previously from BrilliantEarth definitely had a weird brownish tint to it, you can see more about that here:
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/keep-it-or-return-it.245264/

I'd say it's possible that some are, I know someone has told that it could depend on how the diamond was created. There are a few different processes, I can't remember exactly what they said though, let me see if I can dig that up.

I don't notice a tint at all in this stone other than it's color. I barely notice the color, I don't think anyone in person would be able to tell it's an H, even at the size it is. But to be honest, I've only seen a few D/E/F/G's in person, I'm not sure if I'd be able to tell the color difference even if I upgraded. The only time I see color is under yellow light, and even then I'm not really sure if it's just the lighting or the stone.

I'm also a size 6!

 

[xxxxxx]

@Lynniiee thank you for your fast answer! That is great that you could return the first diamond!

It's such a beautiful ring and I'm so happy to see sich a beautiful lab diamond ring on pricescope! Have lot's of fun with the ring

 

[BrownGinger]

A few days late to this but I think it’s perfect as is!

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@kmoro I recently met a friend of a friend at a dinner party who had the most gorgeous ring with a big and beautiful stone. I snuck a glance at it, but the next time I looked over she had turned the stone into her palm. It made me so sad, I really wanted to admire it and I was worried that she feel ashamed of it. I kept waiting for her to turn it around so I could mention something supportive and excited, but I never got the chance.

Thank you so much for sharing and your advice and kind words. The positive reactions make me feel so much better knowing that there are people who are really happy for me. I definitely don't want to hide this beauty under my desk, I can hardly stop staring at it! I get so ecstatic when people show genuine interest in the ring itself, I just want to talk about it all day.

congratulations on your engagement
your ring is to die for
if i worked at your work i wouldn't get any work done, id be admiring your ring all day long
that ring is beautiful and i love the gallary view too
i think in years to come you will be happy you got a lovelly big ring and the colour looks just awsome to my eyes
best of luck for ongoing future happiness
now just soak up the sparkle from that fabulous ring.
the nay sayers will find someone else to make disapproving jealous comments of

 

[tigertales]

Your diamond/ring is one of the prettiest I've seen on PriceScope. It also fits your hand so perfectly.
Gads, I'm so glad you now feel comfortable with it. I don't even know you, but I would have been heartbroken for you if you'd changed it.

Hey and don't forget to come back with pictures after you add the wedding ring!

Congrats!