To Sell or To Trade "Up".....with a LM setting leftover?

[vbnet]

vbnet, the more I think about what you wrote and what everyone has written, the more I think I could disclose the ring, as a no-big-deal long-time-ago thing, and say I want to trade it for a pendant. Have the pendant be the focus and minimize ring - just have it be the way to pay for the pendant.

I feel like I'm laundering diamonds!

Yay! Even though it might be touchy at first, whew! when you get it over with it will just be one more tiny little stressor out of your life. I've been reading your pendant thread and it sounds like you are getting your setting all picked out. Have you decided how trade in your ring? I'll go back and read it again?

What size is the LM setting?

 

[starryeyed]

Didn't someone say she'd take me sailing when I learnt to swim?

Yes, I did say that! So you're a swimmer? Congrats! The sailboat is in dry dock this year - too busy with the baby.

 

[starryeyed]

Yay! Even though it might be touchy at first, whew! when you get it over with it will just be one more tiny little stressor out of your life. I've been reading your pendant thread and it sounds like you are getting your setting all picked out. Have you decided how trade in your ring? I'll go back and read it again?

What size is the LM setting?

Yes, I'm getting myself emotionally geared for the conversation. I like the 3-prong setting that WF has - I hope it's secure.

Today's thoughts about what to do (I seem to be fickle): Send the ring to WF to trade-in the stone. Have WF replace the stone with a CZ in the setting. Keep or sell the setting. If I sell the setting, I'm not sure how - eBay, JBEG, Circa? You bring up a good point - the setting is a little tight for me right now because I haven't shed all of the pregnancy weight. The ring is a 49, which is like a 4.75 or 4.875. There is a plain part on the band so the ring can be sized a bit. Staying at this weight is not an option, so I will not size.

 

[Beacon]

Can Leon consign/sell it for you? At auction you will pay a large commission. Christies/Sotheby's should be able to give you a decent idea of sales price estimate though - no harm to ask - they will do this for free in my experience.

I think you can tell or not tell your DH - your choice. Mine would care less and maybe yours won't care either. When I sell something, I just tell him, "I have this but I don't want it anymore." He never asks about it at all - he really just doesn't care! This disclosure would come in handy if there is a taxable event created by any sale. Then he will probably notice it!

 

[vbnet]

Hey starry, sorry if you considered this b4, but what about resetting the ascher into a pendant!!!!! Just by itself, at least for a few yrs or so. Since it IS such an incredibly beautiful stone. Your family doesn't have to know it's an IF, it's just a diamond. That way you don't lose $$ on the diamond, just the setting. Hopefully the setting will cover the pendant and whallah! break even,


after you find out what you might clear on the setting, you could put it up on ebay for just 5 days or so with that amt + a bit more. Make sure you put a reserve on it. You never know, you may have generated enough interest here alone to move that baby.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Edited by moderator: We do not allow sales or soliciting for sales on Pricescope

 

[starryeyed]

Can Leon consign/sell it for you?

I called LM and asked - Perry said it's up to Leon and he will get back to me. He hasn't, so I'm inclined to think they aren't interested.

 

[starryeyed]

Hey starry, sorry if you considered this b4, but what about resetting the ascher into a pendant!!!!! Just by itself, at least for a few yrs or so. Since it IS such an incredibly beautiful stone. Your family doesn't have to know it's an IF, it's just a diamond. That way you don't lose $$ on the diamond, just the setting. Hopefully the setting will cover the pendant and whallah! break even,


after you find out what you might clear on the setting, you could put it up on ebay for just 5 days or so with that amt + a bit more. Make sure you put a reserve on it. You never know, you may have generated enough interest here alone to move that baby.

I thought about it, and even though the asscher is gorgeous, I'd rather have a new stone - that mind-clean thing. I bought the stone from WF and they have that fabulous upgrade policy. I wouldn't have bought the stone in the first place if they didn't have that policy.

I could try eBay, but that would be a heck-of-a-lot of money for the Buyer, where the exchange requires trust.

 

[starryeyed]

Edited by moderator: We do not allow sales or soliciting for sales on Pricescope

oops. Thanks for trying Jaysonsmom.....

 

[starryeyed]

Ok, I've decided!

I spoke with Circa, as you suggested Harriet. They are VERY nice people. However, I'd have to take quite a hit. I'd consider selling to them if I really needed the cash, but it's more because I don't wear it and I really want a pendant. They seem very fair.

Sooooo......

 

[starryeyed]

The asscher will be traded - the setting...now that's the question!

 

[MustangGal]

What about setting the baby's birth stone in the ring?

 

[starryeyed]

Not a bad idea. She is December, which I think can be a number of different stones, including tanzanite.

So the ring goes back to WF next week. The asscher will hopefully find a new, better home, and I will get a pendant. The setting plan is still being hatched. Wanna see the diamond?

Maybe I'll post it over on my other thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/help-with-pendant-design.147537/#post-2668079#p2668079

 

[Cehrabehra]

Thanks HotPozzum.

Cebra and Oranges - I understand what you are saying. Your suggestion is so clear and simple and sounds so easy, which this should be. It's not that I intend to be deceptive. Maybe I'll think about saying something.

I keep thinking about how to respond to your questions. I could literally go on and on for pages about financial perceptions, control issues, in-laws, transparency, etc., but I was hoping to avoid that!

You don't need to answer any of these questions - you need to be at peace with yourself. If you don't feel like you can discuss this with your husband, you may want to reflect on that - it's maybe not a red flag, but it's a yellow flag at least. Something to concern yourself with. Communication and honesty being so important in a relationship and all... good luck!

 

[starryeyed]

Hi cehra. I agree with you. We have a very strange relationship when it comes to communication. I'll spare you the details since I'd much rather talk about diamonds.

 

[starryeyed]

Ok, we HAD THE DISCUSSION. I'm off the hook!

I told my husband about the asscher this morning. I said that I had bought it a LONG time ago, before we were married. I told him I'm trading it in for a pendant. His reaction was:

1. Knowing you (chuckling), you must have been "jones-ing" for a diamond.
2. Why didn't you ever tell me?
3. Does the diamond have any sentimental value?
4. It pales in comparison to your e-ring.
5. Glad you are getting something you will wear instead.

He made the discussion very easy thankfully. I told him I didn't tell him because I didn't want him thinking it was from a past relationship and he had to do "better". I told him it had no sentimental value at all. It had very little meaning for me, so I didn't wear it.

So, THE BEST PART, he offered to pay for the setting for the new diamond. Isn't that sweet? It's not a ton of money, but it gives the new diamond the sentimental value that the asscher was missing.

THANK YOU ALL for your help with this! It's an outcome I feel good about. I still may sell the setting, not sure....

 

[Nashville]

Glad you reached a happy compromise! It's especially good that you were honest with your husband. Secrets, no matter how innocent or done with good intentions, have a way of weighing on the brain. Now you can go into this new project with a clear conscience and "mind clean" pieces to enjoy.

 

[betty6333]

That is wonderful! I am glad it worked out well.

 

[cemrn]

vbnet, the more I think about what you wrote and what everyone has written, the more I think I could disclose the ring, as a no-big-deal long-time-ago thing, and say I want to trade it for a pendant. Have the pendant be the focus and minimize ring - just have it be the way to pay for the pendant.

I feel like I'm laundering diamonds!

That's great! It's not like it needs to be disclosed to the extended family. Just your DH.

 

[starryeyed]

That's great! It's not like it needs to be disclosed to the extended family. Just your DH.

The reality of it is that my husband will certainly tell his mother and his sister. The whole story will make its rounds thru my husband's family and everyone will have a comment or an embellishment. I'm sure they will insist it's from an old boyfriend or make up some other scandal. That's the price of "honesty" with my DH's family, but I'm not going to sweat it. I've written them off already, for the most part.

I do feel better betty and Nashville, other than for the in-law consequences.

 

[icekid]

That's great! It's not like it needs to be disclosed to the extended family. Just your DH.

The reality of it is that my husband will certainly tell his mother and his sister. The whole story will make its rounds thru my husband's family and everyone will have a comment or an embellishment. I'm sure they will insist it's from an old boyfriend or make up some other scandal. That's the price of "honesty" with my DH's family, but I'm not going to sweat it. I've written them off already, for the most part.

I do feel better betty and Nashville, other than for the in-law consequences.

Just caught this thread. I am so glad you were able to have an honest conversation with your husband... but..... WOW. He will not be able to keep this "news" from his family??? It is absolutely none of their business. It must be quite uncomfortable to have them in the middle of your marriage?

 

[starryeyed]

Just caught this thread. I am so glad you were able to have an honest conversation with your husband... but..... WOW. He will not be able to keep this "news" from his family??? It is absolutely none of their business. It must be quite uncomfortable to have them in the middle of your marriage?

Hi icekid. I agree with you - none of their business. But what has evolved is that my husband talks freely to his family OUTSIDE the house, when I'm not around. In addition, no one in his family ever calls me. I made an effort with them for a while, but just wound up getting hurt, so I stopped. So we rarely mingle, but when we do, they know all about my business and I know nothing about them.

 

[vbnet]

Ok, we HAD THE DISCUSSION. I'm off the hook!

I told my husband about the asscher this morning. I said that I had bought it a LONG time ago, before we were married. I told him I'm trading it in for a pendant. His reaction was:

1. Knowing you (chuckling), you must have been "jones-ing" for a diamond.
2. Why didn't you ever tell me?
3. Does the diamond have any sentimental value?
4. It pales in comparison to your e-ring.
5. Glad you are getting something you will wear instead.

He made the discussion very easy thankfully. I told him I didn't tell him because I didn't want him thinking it was from a past relationship and he had to do "better". I told him it had no sentimental value at all. It had very little meaning for me, so I didn't wear it.

So, THE BEST PART, he offered to pay for the setting for the new diamond. Isn't that sweet? It's not a ton of money, but it gives the new diamond the sentimental value that the asscher was missing.

THANK YOU ALL for your help with this! It's an outcome I feel good about. I still may sell the setting, not sure....

WHEW!!!! Hooray it's over! Saw the new stone, beautiful. Yea, mind clean now! You can't control what the inlaws think or say so to heck with them. Enjoy your new stone. Hope you reset the LM with your child's birthstone. I love that idea!

 

[starryeyed]

WHEW!!!! Hooray it's over! Saw the new stone, beautiful. Yea, mind clean now! You can't control what the inlaws think or say so to heck with them. Enjoy your new stone. Hope you reset the LM with your child's birthstone. I love that idea!

Thanks vbnet! I dropped the idea to my husband today that if he wants to get me a "push" present, he can get me a tanzanite - one of my daughter's birthstones, BY FAR my fave. And you're right - to heck with the in-laws. Nonetheless, I asked DH to not say anything and he agreed.